I made you a beard.

December 13, 2008 10:02 AM

I made you a beard.
posted by serazin (30 comments total)

How timely. My wife spent much of this morning begging me to shave mine off.
posted by The Gooch at 10:07 AM on December 13, 2008

Joyful. Absolutely joyful.
posted by Nick Jordan at 10:09 AM on December 13, 2008

...but I eated it.
posted by fleetmouse at 10:19 AM on December 13, 2008 [14 favorites has favorites]

Fleetmouse wins.
posted by Inspector.Gadget at 10:22 AM on December 13, 2008

wow, that woman is a complete freak. I like it.
posted by supermedusa at 10:42 AM on December 13, 2008 [1 favorite has favorites]

That was great.
posted by exhilaration at 10:56 AM on December 13, 2008

I miss the img tag so much right now.
posted by kyleg at 10:56 AM on December 13, 2008

why did you grow a beard? (listen at 0:59 into They Might Be Giants Podcast 2A)
posted by jepler at 11:17 AM on December 13, 2008

beard lust
posted by serazin at 11:36 AM on December 13, 2008

I... officially have a new crush *blushes*
posted by ducky l'orange at 11:50 AM on December 13, 2008

Ha. I am a huge fan of crafty beard related goodness, for reasons totally unknown to me. My girlfriend has even fashioned me several beard hats, an early prototype for one here. I have no idea why they are so fun. I suspect it's either because my beard growing is sub-par, or because it's a clark kent/superman lumberjack thing. Walk into a phone booth aaaaaaand BAM, suddenly there's a blue ox following me out of nowhere.

Good times.
posted by Stunt at 12:14 PM on December 13, 2008

The whole world is turning into RISD in the mid 90s.
posted by Stonestock Relentless at 12:38 PM on December 13, 2008 [2 favorites has favorites]

I made you a beard.

Is that what the guy who introduced David Guest to Liza Minnelli said?
posted by jonp72 at 1:10 PM on December 13, 2008 [6 favorites has favorites]

A false beard is called a postiche, which may be used to refer to a hair extension. The ones in the OP, they remind me of Hair and Beard Styles from the 14th century to the 7th century B.C: Assyrians.

A nether regions beard is called a merkin. "A merkin (first use, according to the OED, 1617) is a pubic wig, originally worn by prostitutes after shaving their genitalia to eliminate lice or disguise the marks of syphilis. There are many different ways of wearing a merkin, although most involve placing the merkin on the vulva or the scrotum."
posted by nickyskye at 1:26 PM on December 13, 2008 [2 favorites has favorites]

I made you a halo of flies. And some butter cookies.
posted by Lipstick Thespian at 1:50 PM on December 13, 2008

A merkin (first use, according to the OED, 1617) is a pubic wig, originally worn by prostitutes after shaving their genitalia to eliminate lice or disguise the marks of syphilis.

Or alternatively, a citizen of the United States of Amerka
posted by PeterMcDermott at 2:16 PM on December 13, 2008 [4 favorites has favorites]

There has to be some elegant way to point out that "I made you a beard" can be parsed two ways.
posted by You Can't Tip a Buick at 3:11 PM on December 13, 2008

two?
posted by CitizenD at 3:36 PM on December 13, 2008

is anybody else a little creeped out by this?
posted by CitizenD at 3:41 PM on December 13, 2008

Beards Not Bombs
posted by otolith at 4:22 PM on December 13, 2008

I sense the beginning of a new trend. Women have suffered from cold chins too long, and scarves suck. But decorative beards....so handy! And you could Bedazzle em if you were so inclined.
posted by emjaybee at 7:38 PM on December 13, 2008

Ah, but these beards lack the distinctive advantage of inducing beard burn.
posted by sonic meat machine at 9:39 PM on December 13, 2008

Thanks, but I got one.
posted by klangklangston at 10:47 PM on December 13, 2008

This is just ... why? Why?

But the woman behind the blog is awesome.
posted by Xere at 12:00 AM on December 14, 2008

A merkin (first use, according to the OED, 1617) is a pubic wig, originally worn by prostitutes after shaving their genitalia to eliminate lice or disguise the marks of syphilis.

For several years a friend of mine had personalized plates that read "MERKIN". He enjoyed telling people who asked what it meant.
posted by DaddyNewt at 12:25 AM on December 14, 2008 [1 favorite has favorites]

One of my first knitting projects was a beard. Just because I had black eyelash yarn and too much time on my hands.

Alas, it kinda failed. But now I'm inspired again.
posted by Katemonkey at 1:02 AM on December 14, 2008

Wow, this girl is more adorable than is necessary to pull this off.
posted by blasdelf at 2:49 AM on December 14, 2008

I've already got one. It's-a very nice-a.
posted by Faint of Butt at 5:23 AM on December 14, 2008 [1 favorite has favorites]

a pubic wig, originally worn by prostitutes

Nowadays the merkin is used primarily in film making to get around the "no full frontal nudity" riders present in many actor's contracts. If they feel comfortable with the artistic merits of the nudity, or the director has talked them into it, using one is easier than having their contracts rewritten.
posted by StickyCarpet at 12:55 PM on December 14, 2008

...and I immediately thought of Jackass 2 (link contains plot summary, so if you haven't seen it...g'wan, see it).
posted by deusdiabolus at 5:15 AM on December 15, 2008