They already used the obvious jokey reference

December 15, 2008 2:55 PM

Musical Fruitcake. Almost all Christmas songs are a little schlocky. But some are even worse than that.
posted by jacquilynne (19 comments total)

I can't take this site seriously if it doesn't have "O Holy Night" from Christmas with The Brady Bunch.
posted by Joe Beese at 3:01 PM on December 15, 2008

Musical Fruitcake.
posted by gman at 3:15 PM on December 15, 2008

God bless you. I love bad Christmas songs, and you have blessed my holidays.

My family, friends and co-workers, on the other hand, are going to curse your name for many years to come.
posted by Mcable at 3:29 PM on December 15, 2008

How the hell did they miss "Santa Claus is a Black Man"?
posted by dhammond at 3:32 PM on December 15, 2008

Oooh, one of my favorites:
KITT The Amazing Car of Tomorrow - A Knight Rider Christmas
posted by martinrebas at 4:25 PM on December 15, 2008

God, I love Wesley Willis. I would start a Wesley Willis cover band, if I didn't think it would ruin the charm.
posted by piratebowling at 4:43 PM on December 15, 2008 [1 favorite]

Suzannah - Mom and Daddy, Please Don’t Steal For Me This Christmas

That is about five different kinds of fucked up.
posted by Clay201 at 5:51 PM on December 15, 2008

Merry X-mas. Even Squeaky Fromme Loves Christmas.
posted by Sailormom at 5:56 PM on December 15, 2008

musical-fruit cake
posted by freshwater_pr0n at 6:05 PM on December 15, 2008

No, this list is all wrong, they are missing the worst one of all! The Crazy Frog version of Jingle Bells.
posted by MaryDellamorte at 7:29 PM on December 15, 2008

Au contraire, any version of Santa Baby is the worst thing ever. The breathier and sexier, the worse the horror. Oh God how I hate that song. HATE.
posted by louche mustachio at 7:44 PM on December 15, 2008

Au contraire, any version of Santa Baby is the worst thing ever.

Even by RuPaul?
posted by lukemeister at 8:02 PM on December 15, 2008

I was subjected to it at a seasonal retail job, I searched high and low for it online, I borrowed the SoundScan disc from the store and unsuccessfully tried to play it on various computers, I asked MeFi

I finally found it. Jingle-O the Brownie. Horrifying magic eye watching children from the sky, a rocket ship...it is some weird, trying-hard-to-jumpstart-a-Rudolph-type-character Christmas music. (via)
posted by oflinkey at 8:10 PM on December 15, 2008 [1 favorite]

Oh, and for "traditional", louche mustachio, (that is, not bizzarro and often-heard on the radio like Santa Baby), nothing beats the ick-factor of Baby, It's Cold Outside, which was known as the Date Rape Christmas Song at one of my holiday retail jobs.
posted by oflinkey at 8:18 PM on December 15, 2008

I'd never considered Baby, It's Cold Outside to be particularly icky, but now that you mention it I see what you mean. Regrettably, the extra imagery just makes the Rod Stewart & Dolly Parton duet even more compelling.
posted by Balonious Assault at 10:20 PM on December 15, 2008

I didn't think Baby, It's Cold Outside was a Christmas song. It plays year round on the music station at work (which is always set to old blues/jazz type music). We also call it the date rape song.
posted by MaryDellamorte at 10:37 PM on December 15, 2008

"Au contraire, any version of Santa Baby is the worst thing ever.

Even by RuPaul?"

Especially by RuPaul!
posted by Mastercheddaar at 6:08 AM on December 16, 2008

Oh yeah here is one of my favs from Monty Python NSFW cursing and such.
posted by Mastercheddaar at 6:15 AM on December 16, 2008

I like Baby its Cold Outside. It always sounds like they're both flirting, at least on my version of it. And its a winter song, not a Christmas song.

What is the name of that horrible, horrible Christmas song about the cat? Its so schlocky sentimental. I was subjected to it during a retail job one Christmas and it scarred me. So badly I can't remember the name of it. Is this what repression is?
posted by sandraregina at 11:24 AM on December 17, 2008