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Hullo! 'Tis I, Olo Bumbleroot of Haysend!
December 16, 2008 7:46 AM   Subscribe

The Hobbit Name Generator: You have a secret name. Discover it.

Also available in Elvish if that's your sort of thing.
posted by chillmost (86 comments total) 2 users marked this as a favorite

 
Daisy Sandy-Bottom.

I think someone cross-wired the Porn-Name Generator.
posted by rokusan at 7:52 AM on December 16, 2008 [2 favorites]


A "Name Generator", you say? What is this new technology you speak of?
posted by poppo at 7:53 AM on December 16, 2008


My secret name is: RESTRICTED: Category / Categorie: "Social Networking and Personal Sites".

That's a mouthful. I will stick with Mr. Underhill.
posted by Durn Bronzefist at 7:54 AM on December 16, 2008 [8 favorites]


Ah, it's amazing what you can whip up with an Access database, a bit of html and RAND().
posted by Happy Dave at 7:55 AM on December 16, 2008


Go press the button
posted by mandal at 7:55 AM on December 16, 2008 [22 favorites]


Lila Chubb-Baggins of Pincup, reporting for duty.
posted by rmless at 7:57 AM on December 16, 2008 [1 favorite]


Posco Gamwich! That sounds like a swearing word..
posted by kampken at 7:58 AM on December 16, 2008 [1 favorite]


Olo Goodbody of Frogmorton

Great, I'm apparently a mash-dwelling Swede.
posted by The Whelk at 8:01 AM on December 16, 2008


Posco Gamwich! That sounds like a swearing worddelicious lunch.
posted by uncleozzy at 8:02 AM on December 16, 2008


Why yes, I would like my name and browser-revealed information associated in your DB! Who did you say you were again? Never mind, I don't care--I'm too excited to find out my "hobbit name"!
posted by DU at 8:05 AM on December 16, 2008 [1 favorite]


Flaggit EnMoo of Vaughn. COOL.
posted by cashman at 8:10 AM on December 16, 2008 [3 favorites]


Supposedly, I'm Sancho Bolger, but that sounds like some Spanish hobbit t'me.

Oh,and mandal, priceless.
posted by Relay at 8:11 AM on December 16, 2008


Go press the button

Squinty of Simpleton.
posted by Tehanu at 8:12 AM on December 16, 2008


The generator is by Chris Wetherell. You may also have seen him in such films as "Google Reader". He also just launched a Secret Santa list website.
posted by Nelson at 8:21 AM on December 16, 2008


Olo Sandybanks.

Hmm... no - not good enough for another $5...
posted by DreamerFi at 8:21 AM on December 16, 2008


Also it appears we have elected Fosco Goldworthy of Michel Delving, to be assisted by Dimple Gamgee-Took of Bywater. (A good family, the Gamgee-Tooks of Delaware. Practical in approach but hotheaded in speech). Everybody's talking about what Ferdirand Goldworthy of Michel Delving is going to wear to the ball.... and this thing seems to think the Obama daughters are boy hobbits.
posted by Tehanu at 8:26 AM on December 16, 2008 [2 favorites]


Pimpernel Brownlock of Overhill

Please, call me Pimp. Yo.
posted by elendil71 at 8:29 AM on December 16, 2008 [1 favorite]


Drogo Loamsdown.

I sound like a hobbit porn star.
posted by RavinDave at 8:31 AM on December 16, 2008


Lila Foxburr of Loamsdown!

I actually rather like the Elvish one (Linwë Helyanwë).
posted by EmpressCallipygos at 8:33 AM on December 16, 2008


George Bush=Squinty of Simpleton
Coincidence or hack?
posted by weapons-grade pandemonium at 8:35 AM on December 16, 2008 [3 favorites]


Any diehard RPGer knows the hardest part of making a new character is picking the name.
posted by WinnipegDragon at 8:41 AM on December 16, 2008 [1 favorite]


Kevan has a lot of this sort of thing.
posted by LSK at 8:41 AM on December 16, 2008


"choose wiser. (enter last name, please...)"
posted by swift at 8:43 AM on December 16, 2008


>Why yes, I would like my name and browser-revealed information associated in your DB! Who did you say you were again? Never mind, I don't care--I'm too excited to find out my "hobbit name"!

The algorithm only examines the first and last letters of the names you enter. Go ahead and enter garbage characters for the other letters and you'll get the same result as if you used your real name.

Also, I'm "Till Deepdelver of Brockenborings". Sounds like a hobbit porn name if I've ever heard one.
posted by xbonesgt at 8:48 AM on December 16, 2008


I'm Orangeblossom Danderfluff. I think I'm one of Strawberry Shortcake's friends.
posted by shmurley at 9:04 AM on December 16, 2008 [3 favorites]


Oooh! I like mine: Mungo Sandybanks of Frogmorton!
posted by brundlefly at 9:10 AM on December 16, 2008


Dammit, I'm still Gargamel.
posted by yhbc at 9:14 AM on December 16, 2008 [1 favorite]


The algorithm only examines the first and last letters of the names you enter.

That may be all the output is based on, but maybe not all the algorithm does. But good advice to just enter your initials to play.
posted by DU at 9:14 AM on December 16, 2008


Fosco Danderfluff?!

Oh, please take me now, Nazguls.
posted by not_on_display at 9:16 AM on December 16, 2008 [2 favorites]


Jessamyn West = Myrtle Toadfoot
Josh Millard = Bolo Broadbelt of Buckland
Matthew Haughey = Gorbulas Chubb of Deephollow
posted by not_on_display at 9:19 AM on December 16, 2008 [1 favorite]


Also it appears we have elected Fosco Goldworthy of Michel Delving,

Mungo Toadfoot of Frogmorton is the mayor of my shire, although he recently went to Governor-General Tigerlily Brandybuck of Buckland because of the danger he felt from the coalition led by Podo Hardbottle and Sancho Brandybuck of Buckland. Nice.

The algorithm only examines the first and last letters of the names you enter.

Don't think so: in male first names, anyway, Mark becomes Milo, Michael becomes Berilac, Marlow becomes Gorbulas...
posted by ricochet biscuit at 9:25 AM on December 16, 2008


Tigerlily Bramble of Willowbottom. I feel so exotic, somehow. Which is not a word I necessarily immediately associate with hobbits.
posted by six-or-six-thirty at 9:27 AM on December 16, 2008


... although my boyfriend's name of Sancho Chubb is less satisfying.
posted by six-or-six-thirty at 9:29 AM on December 16, 2008


Willowbottom! Hmm... *begins fond Whedonesque musings*

on preview: hola! There is nothing more porn than Sancho Chubb, my god.
posted by Durn Bronzefist at 9:31 AM on December 16, 2008


Josh Millard = Bolo Broadbelt of Buckland

I blame the giant doughnuts.
posted by mandal at 9:34 AM on December 16, 2008


I myself am Berilac Frumblefoot of Bywater, but my sweet babboo comes out as Iris Burrows, which sounds somehow like a librarian or a substitute teacher.
posted by ricochet biscuit at 9:35 AM on December 16, 2008


Oh I'm an idiot. I was using the right-hand side of the screen before. Primula and Ruby Goldworthy of Michel Delving. Michelle Obama = Tigerlily Goldworthy of Michel Delving.
posted by Tehanu at 9:42 AM on December 16, 2008


I'm Orangeblossom Boggy-Hillocks. I resent that characterization-- I'm pretty sure Chris Wetherell has never even seen my hillocks.
posted by fairytale of los angeles at 9:46 AM on December 16, 2008 [1 favorite]


Berilic Bramble of Winterbottom.

I think it's gonna stick
posted by Lacking Subtlety at 9:48 AM on December 16, 2008


I divided up my ID into a first and last name, and got (drumroll)...

Minto Proudneck of Longbottom

...never mind the porn star names, I'm pretty sure I've been named after either a breath mint or a brand of pipeweed. Or both.

My elvish name is:

Elerossë Véneanár

Whatever the hell that is. I mean, how the hell do you even pronounce that? Silly elves, gotta make everything so complicated.
posted by happyroach at 9:53 AM on December 16, 2008


</livejournal>
posted by spock at 9:55 AM on December 16, 2008 [1 favorite]


Fastolph Boggy-Hillocks
posted by oddman at 9:56 AM on December 16, 2008


also

Lólindir Amandil
posted by oddman at 9:57 AM on December 16, 2008


my boyfriend's name of Sancho Chubb is less satisfying.

But so cute!

You need to call him that for at least three weeks.
posted by rokusan at 10:08 AM on December 16, 2008 [1 favorite]


Till Chubb of Deephollow

Till is rather boring. Chubb is depressingly accurate, though...

My Elvish name is much nicer. Elessar Eluchél
posted by dirtynumbangelboy at 10:08 AM on December 16, 2008


My pornstar name, therefore, is 13th Griffin. I kinda like it.
posted by Mister_A at 10:21 AM on December 16, 2008


Funny, my Elvish name is the same as my real name: Eärendur Ancalimë.

Now you know what the "A" stands for...
posted by Mister_A at 10:22 AM on December 16, 2008


Someone forgot to add "by mefi's own massless"
posted by mathowie at 10:30 AM on December 16, 2008 [1 favorite]


Drogo Toadfoot - wasn't he on the UN's wanted list in Serbia?
posted by Standeck at 10:32 AM on December 16, 2008


I somehow got the same name as brundlefly, Mungo Sandybanks (though not of Frogmorton), but using the name on my birth certificate I'm Samwise Sandybanks. I feel like I've discovered long-lost family with the other Sandybankses (b-fly and DreamerFi).

But my Elvish Name from the same site is Finrod Nénharma. I've always felt like I was a Finrod at heart.

And come on, not everybody who makes a web-widget like that is a MeFite but anybody who does it well obviously is...
posted by wendell at 11:08 AM on December 16, 2008


Dolly Burrows. God, how dull. I don't even get an "of [hobbity-sounding town name]."

Anyone want to join me in forming the Substitute Librarians Union of Hobbiton?
posted by Flipping_Hades_Terwilliger at 11:10 AM on December 16, 2008


Welcome to 2001.

Feb 23, 2001, evidently.
posted by Perplexity at 11:11 AM on December 16, 2008


Also it appears we have elected Fosco Goldworthy of Michel Delving,

As I am Popo Goldworthy of Michel Delving, I hereby dedicate my next 4 (8) years to the effort of getting Barack Obama to call me "Pop". The fact that we live in different countries and he's closer to my father's age than my own is of no matter.

"Pops", while not quite accurate, will also be accepted.
posted by Lemurrhea at 11:20 AM on December 16, 2008


Pimple Bulge? Fuck you too, Hobbit Name Generator.
posted by PhatLobley at 11:34 AM on December 16, 2008 [4 favorites]


Pimple Bulge? Fuck you too, Hobbit Name Generator.

Bummer. I note that if your name were that of a woman, she'd be Rosie-Posie Bulge, which is not a moniker that many womenfolk of my acquaintance would be overjoyed with.

I discover that as an elf, I am Amras Minyatur, which I know would be corrupted by any D&D players within seconds to "Amorous Minotaur."
posted by ricochet biscuit at 11:53 AM on December 16, 2008 [1 favorite]


My name aint baby, it's Drogo--Mr. Smallburrows if you're nasty.
posted by sourwookie at 11:59 AM on December 16, 2008


biggest porn star in the shire reporting for duty : Ruby Sandybanks
posted by liza at 12:00 PM on December 16, 2008


I wondered if already hobbitesque names gut ultrahobbitized...

On the one hand, the child actors from 28 Weeks Later..., Mackenzie Muggleton and Imogen Poots, become Ferdirand Hamwich of Buckleberry Fern and Poppy Boggy-Hillocks. Hobbity goodness!

On the other hand, I discover that a friend's name is Tigerlily Boffin of Whitfurrows. This is not appreciably more hobbitish than her birth name of Robin Leatherbarrow.

Bilbo Baggins and Frodo Baggins remain unchanged by the generator, but Samwise Gamgee becomes the extravagantly hobbity Podo Danderfluff of Willowbottom. Merry Brandybuck and Pippin Took become the brothers Marmadas and Hambut Proudfoot.

More study is clearly needed.
posted by ricochet biscuit at 12:08 PM on December 16, 2008 [1 favorite]


I'm Rosie Boffin of Whitfurrows, another tart of the shire.
posted by tula at 12:10 PM on December 16, 2008 [1 favorite]


Ahem. More study is clearly needed if only to point out that the young actor is Mackintosh Muggleton a/k/a Merimac Hamwich of Buckleberry Fern.

Glad we got that straightened out.
posted by ricochet biscuit at 12:12 PM on December 16, 2008


Lobelia Bulge of Hobbiton. My Elvish name was totally better.
posted by bitter-girl.com at 12:27 PM on December 16, 2008


Not the best of the Web, sorry.
posted by limeonaire at 12:28 PM on December 16, 2008


Primula Moss of Lake-by-Downs

I'm not hip to this. I come off as a variety of plant.
posted by MiltonRandKalman at 12:28 PM on December 16, 2008


Sweetpea Foxburr of Loamsdown.
posted by Cranberry at 12:47 PM on December 16, 2008


Finduilas Helyanwë is my elven name. So how come I do not know how to pronounce it?
posted by Cranberry at 12:50 PM on December 16, 2008


Ruby Millstone of Bywater.
Huh. How did it know that I normally go by "Gemstone"? Very quirky and somehow satisfying coincidence.
posted by gemmy at 1:42 PM on December 16, 2008


Man, and I totally wanted to be of something.

*sigh*
posted by captainsohler at 2:00 PM on December 16, 2008


Huh. Prisca Hamwich of Buckleberry Fern and Alasse Elensar.

I would like a hamwich right now . . .
posted by Mouse Army at 2:18 PM on December 16, 2008


Lardo Brandybuck of Buckland

I dunno, unless it's the Chili Cheese fries.
posted by pjern at 2:36 PM on December 16, 2008


yhbc: Dammit, I'm still Gargamel.

This is a strange and marvelous affliction you have. (Snort a few Smurfs just once, and you're branded for life.)

Anyway, this thread makes me irrationally happy.
posted by JHarris at 2:39 PM on December 16, 2008


Yes, finally! I AM...

Hob Overhill of Nobottle.

Yes, I'm from that purely breast-fed town. (or a dry town, hrm.)

In Elvish:

Círdan Fëfalas.

Sweet. I love curd and falafel.
posted by Durn Bronzefist at 2:46 PM on December 16, 2008


Sweetpea Toadfoot of Frogmorton

Sounds kinda dirty, or maybe that's just my usual state of mind.
posted by ZeroAmbition at 3:10 PM on December 16, 2008


Hi! I'm brundlefly's cousin, Dimple Sandybanks of Frogmorton. And I am totally using my Elvish name of "Fëanáro Telemnar" next time I play an RPG.
posted by jtron at 3:15 PM on December 16, 2008


Yeah, those Elven names are actually pretty badass. Makes me wish there was a Dwarven one, though. No! Not in Tolkienesque style, anyway (no Giblet son of Groin tyvm). An Orcish one. That's the ticket.
posted by Durn Bronzefist at 3:23 PM on December 16, 2008


Drogo Gamgee-Took of Bywater, Jr.

Great, I sound like the hobbit equivalent of a snobby rich-kid.
posted by defenestration at 3:53 PM on December 16, 2008


George Bush=Squinty of Simpleton
Coincidence or hack?


I got the same for George Bush, so that one's not random. Pity, that would have been awesome.
posted by DecemberBoy at 3:54 PM on December 16, 2008


Yeah, the G.B. one is weird, neither that name nor town come up with any of the other names, it seems, so it's probable it was programmed in as a special case.

Which I like.
posted by JHarris at 4:06 PM on December 16, 2008


Mungo Loamsdown of Deephallow. I like it though I wonder if I should've given myself a more interesting name.

Also: this old bit of fun? Ohmahgawd, don't look! In the context of my having become a software engineer, it's like a yearbook picture taken during the presidential tenure of a junior high school chess club. I'm a little embarrassed by the 2000-era design, the too-basic algorithm, and the accommodations for browsers whose popularity has vanished e.g. Netscape 4. It's long-toothed and it shows, however, I definitely like people still having fun with it.

I wonder...is divertimento the level at which I'm most effective in software? I mean, everyday I try to trace my limits and work with fervor to exceed them even as they slither and settle elsewhere, so maybe it's past time I accept this outline of best efforts made. Very occasionally I seem and feel accomplished - some of the serious software is liked and some people were kind enough to listen to songs I helped make...but at summary (and at best) can I expect this epigraph and less? Here lies Mungo Loamsdown of Deephallow and, lo, a tiny pipe to be laid on my grave?

*can't hold straight face* Ha! Kidding. I'm like being the-guy-that-made-that-hobbity-thing. I should update it.

posted by massless at 4:28 PM on December 16, 2008 [3 favorites]


ricochet biscuit: Fixed Sam, Merry, and Pippin.

PhatMobley: That one *is* terrible! (Oh, but that made me smile.) Changed to something better for you.

fairytale of los angeles: (A geo-tagged Twitter account) + (former colleagues on Google Maps and Street View) = an imminent hillocks-sighting

Trivia.
  • The Hobbit Name Generator is 8 years old. Wrote it on June 8, 2000.
  • My girlfriend at the time, Jane, compiled the names from the appendices in Tolkein's books.
  • At its most popular it got several million page views per day and paid for a few months of my rent via ads.
  • I was in talks with New Line Cinema - they wanted to purchase it.
  • The Bush thing is an exception to the algorithm. The hate mail about this diminished around 2004.
Other exceptions to the algorithm include:
Actor - "Dominic", "Monaghan"
(He played Merry.)
My friend and bandmate - "Christopher", "Groves"
(Because I love teasing him.)
ICANN - "Internet Corporation", "for Assigned Names and Numbers"
(Because of a Lessig article.)
posted by massless at 4:52 PM on December 16, 2008 [4 favorites]


stavros the wonderchicken becomes Longo Gamgee-Took of Bywater. I'm good with that.

Posco Gamwich! That sounds like a swearing word..

Even odder, Posco is the name of the huge Korean multinational I work for.
posted by stavrosthewonderchicken at 6:04 PM on December 16, 2008


Pearl Danderfluff. I like it.
posted by Stewriffic at 6:12 PM on December 16, 2008


And with first name "stew" last name "riffic" I am Pansy Trample of Woody End. Love!

Mandatory reporting of elf name:
Enelya Tinehtelë
or
Eärlindë Yávëtil
posted by Stewriffic at 6:19 PM on December 16, 2008


Fun. Pimpernel Tolkein here.
posted by essband at 6:28 PM on December 16, 2008


Merry Brandybuck and Pippin Took become the brothers Marmadas and Hambut Proudfoot.

And I'm their cousin Till, evidently. I'm okay with that.
posted by danb at 6:59 PM on December 16, 2008


Rosie-Posie Brockhouse of Loamsdown

she's a brock....house
she's mighty mighty
lettin' it all hang out
posted by fancyoats at 8:40 PM on December 16, 2008


Hob Chubb-Baggins.

Great, either I'm a fat hobbit, or one with a massive chubby.
posted by bwg at 9:40 PM on December 16, 2008


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