Name it and it will be yours

December 17, 2008 5:55 AM

What's in a name? The Puritans and Victorians thought names could convey virtue onto whom they were bestowed; in Zimbabwe this is still a popular practise. Some names are thought to be 'high-end', some 'low-end' (even neighbourhoods) and our perceptions of what makes a good name changes in time. Meanwhile there are some human names that seem to suit dogs well.
posted by mippy (61 comments total)

There really ought to be something like this for screen names.

And I curse my parents for screen-naming me twoleftfeet
posted by twoleftfeet at 6:07 AM on December 17, 2008

Despite these findings, I still maintain that "Adolf Hitler" isn't a great name for a kid, and if you insist upon it, you should just learn to pipe your own frosting.

As a "Stephen" among a seemingly ever-increasing cohort of "Steven"s, I'd want to kill my parents if they gave me a "unique" spelling like "Mykul" rather than "Michael."
posted by explosion at 6:27 AM on December 17, 2008 [4 favorites]

I loved the names of the Puritans in Neal Stephenson's Baroque Cycle, like Wait Still Waterhouse.
posted by These Premises Are Alarmed at 6:33 AM on December 17, 2008

For these reasons, I intend to name my first child Trismegistus.
posted by dilettanti at 6:33 AM on December 17, 2008 [3 favorites]

HowTF did a simple NYT link ("neighbourhoods") kill my browser? Twice!
posted by DU at 6:38 AM on December 17, 2008

Nothing to see there, you're not missing anything (with a name)/
posted by filthy light thief at 6:45 AM on December 17, 2008

What's in a name?
posted by East Manitoba Regional Junior Kabaddi Champion '94 at 6:48 AM on December 17, 2008

Hermes Trismegistus, via Wikipedia:

(Greek: Ἑρμῆς ὁ Τρισμέγιστος, "thrice-great Hermes"; Latin: Mercurius ter Maximus) is the representation of the combination of the Greek god Hermes and the Egyptian god Thoth.[1] In Hellenistic Egypt, the Greeks recognised the congruence of their God Hermes with the Egyptian god Thoth[2]. Another similarly syncretized god was Hermanubis. Subsequently the two gods were worshiped as one in what had been the Temple of Thoth in Khemnu, which the Greeks called Hermopolis.

posted by vhsiv at 6:48 AM on December 17, 2008

Not to get all LOLNATIVES or anything, but I read somewhere that settlers used to sell their names to the Indians sometimes - charging more for a fancy name like De Quincey and less for a plain name like Jones.
posted by Joe Beese at 6:50 AM on December 17, 2008

The naming convention for public housing projects seems to be {Popular American President}+ {Non-urban land use type } i.e Roosevelt Estates, Lincoln Farms etc.
posted by electroboy at 6:57 AM on December 17, 2008

"Where Have All the Lisas Gone?", by Peggy Orenstein, New York Times Magazine, July 6, 2003. Included in the Best American Science and Nature Writing (2004).
posted by stbalbach at 6:58 AM on December 17, 2008

So my cousin just had a baby girl. My Mom called to tell me that she named her Emily. I said "oh, Emily's a nice name". And my Mom said. No. Not Emily....Emmaleigh. I realize that Leigh is a valid, somewhat antiquated spelling of Lee....but seriously.
posted by Green Eyed Monster at 6:59 AM on December 17, 2008

I've heard a story (supposedly from a nurse who was there, I guess that's how all urban legends start) where a lady was giving birth and someone mentioned the placenta, and she thought it sounded nice. She changed it up a bit, and named her daughter Placentia.

Spelling a "normal" name with alternative letters (k vs c, i vs y, etc) is just dooming the kid to a lifetime of spelling your name out. Brian Regan had a good bit on it.

Anyway I met his woman, her name was ah, Amy, you know, so I go Oh," A-M-Y?"
She goes no," A-Y-M-I-E".

"OoOoOoaahh!""I have to take a nap"
" I'm Brian, B-R-I-V-O-L-B-N, the number 7,the letter Q,--"Brennemenahgah!!!","Look at my name tag,it's,it's big.

And of course, there's Nuni and Jeff.
posted by filthy light thief at 6:59 AM on December 17, 2008 [2 favorites]

Sometimes, East Manitoba Regional Junior Kabaddi Champion '94, it's not the just name itself, but the context.
posted by mandal at 7:00 AM on December 17, 2008

What's in a name? Why not ask the guy who nearly lost the Presidency because his was a little too ethnic for many folks?
posted by Pollomacho at 7:01 AM on December 17, 2008

The naming convention for public housing projects seems to be {Popular American President}+ {Non-urban land use type } i.e Roosevelt Estates, Lincoln Farms etc.

In New York, they always seem to end with 'Houses' or 'Gardens,' which was either overly optimistic or kind of a mean joke.
posted by jonmc at 7:16 AM on December 17, 2008 [1 favorite]

The Puritans and Victorians thought names could convey virtue onto whom they were bestowed...

One of my Puritan-era ancestors was a woman named "Freelove."

Boy, that sure leads the mind down interesting paths.


...As for the current generation: my 3-month-old niece is named "Olivia," after my paternal grandfather (his middle name was "Oliver"). My father's tickled by the connection -- me, I'm just glad my brother didn't spell it "Oghlifvieeah" or something like that.
posted by EmpressCallipygos at 7:25 AM on December 17, 2008

It's pretty simple in my family. The naming pattern is:

Grandparent'sName Parent'sName LastName

Traditionally, Parent'sName was Fathers'sName, but giving the daughters a male middle name is considered a bit awkward for modern sensibilities. In general, this scheme avoids the temptation of non-standard spellings, the appropriation of names from ethnic groups you're not a member of, and prevents you from doing anything truly embarrassing to your children.

The advantage of heavily ethnic names is that they seem to Americans to be timeless. Plus, if you want something that sounds passable for modern sensibilities, you use a modern-sounding American nickname to call yourself with. If your grandparent's American nickname sounded dated, you can adopt a more contemporary one, while keeping the traditional proper name.
posted by deanc at 7:25 AM on December 17, 2008

...As for the current generation: my 3-month-old niece is named "Olivia," after my paternal grandfather...

For a moment I feared the words Tremor Control were going to appear later in the sentence.
posted by mandal at 7:35 AM on December 17, 2008 [3 favorites]

I spend a bit of time hanging out in cemeteries (LOLGOTH) and in Glasgow, I noticed that Euphemia was very popular at the turn of the century. Both MrMippy and I have names with variant spellings, and my name is one of those that people always shorten even though I am known only by the full version. I find that presumptious in the least.
posted by mippy at 7:54 AM on December 17, 2008

I like the name Seven. For a boy or a girl.
posted by jock@law at 8:18 AM on December 17, 2008 [1 favorite]

"Because we had one, two, three, four, five, SEVEN kids!" - (some episode of Married With Children)
posted by Flipping_Hades_Terwilliger at 8:41 AM on December 17, 2008

seven is a great name, continuing the new tradition of naming children after car models. (the lotus seven is sex on wheels)

when my nephew's wife was pregnant, i suggested going with a car name and naming the kid after my car, because "shitbox" has a real ring to it.
posted by rmd1023 at 8:49 AM on December 17, 2008 [1 favorite]

If my union is ever blessed with issue, I will just name them after MeFi mods. Timeless and classy.
posted by everichon at 9:08 AM on December 17, 2008

Stuff Black People Hate
posted by Zambrano at 9:31 AM on December 17, 2008

Great names in that article. Freakanomics makes a good case for names being a touchy thing. Personally I can't stand the last name as first name (especially for a girl) thing that is so prevalent these days. I think the best response to a horrendously nouveau-riche name was given by Ali G in his Posh and Becks interview:

ALI: : So, what's he called?
VICTORIA: Brooklyn.
ALI: How d'you come up with that name?
VICTORIA: Well, we found out that I was pregnant while I was on tour in America and we was in Brooklyn at the time.
ALI: For real? So has you actually done it there?
VICTORIA: No we didn't do it there, we did it in Denmark, if you really want to know.
ALI: How come you didn't call him Denmark?
VICTORIA: It didn't have the same kind of, you know...
ALI: That would be a well good idea though what, cos if me and me Julie had a kid, we'd call him Langley Village. His full name would be "The bogs in KFC in Langley Village!"
posted by ob at 10:03 AM on December 17, 2008 [4 favorites]

Then we have Adolph Hitler Campbell, JoyceLynn Aryan Nation Campbell, and Honszlynn Hinler Jeannie Campbell who appear to have a hard time getting their names onto birthday cakes. (sorry for Godwining your thread)
posted by caddis at 10:09 AM on December 17, 2008

For a moment I feared hoped the words Tremor Control were going to appear later in the sentence.
posted by solipsophistocracy at 10:10 AM on December 17, 2008 [1 favorite]

explosion: Despite these findings, I still maintain that "Adolf Hitler" isn't a great name for a kid, and if you insist upon it, you should just learn to pipe your own frosting.

I forgot this thread, & briefly pondered what "pipe your own frosting" was a euphemism for.
posted by Pronoiac at 10:12 AM on December 17, 2008

On non-preview, that's a (previously) for caddis.
posted by Pronoiac at 10:13 AM on December 17, 2008

I read that whole thread and the article, and only now do I realise that 'JoyceLynn' means 'Jocelyn'.

I have no middle name, and spent two years absolutely obsessed with names when I was about nine. A name couldn't enter the house without my canvassing everyone's opinions on it, and I kept lists. Even weirder is that I knew sometime before then that I was never going to want children (and if that seems an odd thing to decide aged eight, I haven't changed my mind much eighteen years later).
posted by mippy at 10:15 AM on December 17, 2008

We name our children after towns that we've never been to.
posted by Roach at 10:18 AM on December 17, 2008

mippy wrote: I spend a bit of time hanging out in cemeteries (LOLGOTH) and in Glasgow, I noticed that Euphemia was very popular at the turn of the century.

I know a Euphemia and a Euphamia, both living in Glasgow now. Pretty name, if, presumably, a nightmare at school.
posted by jack_mo at 10:26 AM on December 17, 2008

I had an ancestor named Cinderella. I wonder if that sounded as white-trash back then?
posted by Mouse Army at 10:27 AM on December 17, 2008

This interactive name timeline is a lot of fun for exploring the popularity of names. It's both depressing and fascinating that all the names I'd like for my future kids are rising dramatically in popularity - I'm just a product of my time, I guess.

Sophia and Olivia are the Jennifer and Emily of future kindergartens, it looks like.
posted by Solon and Thanks at 10:30 AM on December 17, 2008 [1 favorite]

I love names; I love looking at naming books and veiwing naming trends, and going back to see what was popular when. Its likely because my name is so very boring, but my mother's is very, very German, and thus exotic and interesting to my drama-loving mind.

I don't mind odd or different spellings, or ethnic/cultural names if appropriate, and I think the world would be a very, very boring place if everyone had the same very narrow band of names to choose from. And while I personally would never name a kid "Apple", once I thought about it, naming a kid after fruit really isn't any weirder than naming them after a mineral (Ruby) or a flower (Iris) or a month (May). Why is Lily okay but Bananna isn't?

What bugs me is ugly. Ugly sounding names, ugly spellings - if you're going to mess with the spelling, go with something that at least makes sense, and ugly juxtaposition of first and last. Though Ugly is in the eye (ear?) of the beholder.

My mom's name is Heike.
posted by sandraregina at 10:55 AM on December 17, 2008 [1 favorite]

Checking on the name timeline tells me that my name was more popular in the 1880s then at any other time since. I'll just nip off on my penny farthing and catch Mr. P.T. Barnum's "Wild Men of Borneo", then.
posted by ob at 11:02 AM on December 17, 2008

Quoting myself from This Big Big Question post.

"Fun story, my mom couldn’t name me for days. To hear her tell it, pregnancy was something that just sort of happened to her and she hadn’t gotten around to picking a name out before that whole “birth” thing. Anyway, she’s in the hospital and it’s been a while and the nice doctors keep telling her they need to put something on the birth certificate. Suddenly “Imagine” came on the radio and “John!” flew out of my mom’s mouth and bam, I got named after a Beatle.

Considering that her other two choices where “Donald” and “Kirby” (thanks dad) I think I dodged a freakin’ bullet.

For what it matters, every Jennifer I know goes by her last name, middle name, or Non De Plume."
posted by The Whelk at 11:09 AM on December 17, 2008

jonmc, naming places after the things which are gone (or were removed) from that place is pretty common, at least here on the west coast. Running Dear Ranch no longer has native vegetation to feed the deer, let alone sufficient space for them to roam about undisturbed. Black Oak Terrace has few native trees. Pay tribute to the things that are lost, and evoke some sense of nature, and all that jazz. I'm still not sure where the name Rice Ranch comes from, as I really doubt that there was any wild rice in this area.
posted by filthy light thief at 11:27 AM on December 17, 2008

Considering that her other two choices where “Donald” and “Kirby” (thanks dad) I think I dodged a freakin’ bullet.

Hang on - Kirby?! You dodged a bullet of being freakin' awesome.
posted by Pronoiac at 11:27 AM on December 17, 2008

Apparently lots of parents are crushed when they take little Clementine or Finn to the first first day of pre-school only to discover that half the classmates share their super-unique name. For my mom, it was opposite. We grew up in a very isolated Scots settlement in NC, and she named me Annsley after an army of great-grandmothers. She instantly regretted it as soon as we moved to a city where everyone called me "Ashley" and "Nancy." She didn't realize how unusual the name was outside of our town. I happened to love it, and thought I was the only Annsley in the world (and blithely ignored evidence that I had many a dead great-grandmother with the same name).

Now that name-predictor list in Freakonomics has my name, the name that made me feel like the only person on the planet worthy of wearing its mantle, slated for a top 20 spot in 2015.

And I will have a teeny mental breakdown every time I walk by playgrounds in ten years to hear the Park Slope stroller brigade screaming out my name name to tykes on the monkey bars.
posted by zoomorphic at 11:33 AM on December 17, 2008

"It's pronounced az-wee-pay. Got it? Az-wee-pay."
posted by Marisa Stole the Precious Thing at 11:40 AM on December 17, 2008

Has anyone claimed to know an Oranjello yet? Or rather, their cousin, who is a delivery room nurse, heard some woman named her kid Oranjello? Swear to god, for serious. Oranjello.
posted by electroboy at 11:47 AM on December 17, 2008

From the neighbourhoods link:

What if a neighborhood changes its name?

Ask the residents of South Central Los Angeles. Actually, you can’t, because technically the neighborhood no longer exists. The name “South Central” was wiped from official maps of the city five years ago to improve the reputation of an area that had become synonymous with violence and crushing poverty after the 1992 L.A. riots.

I'm sure this has done a bang-up job of improving the area. Now that that pesky "South Central" name doesn't officially exist anymore, everything about the neighborhood will improve!

Oceania has always been at war with Eastasia . . .
posted by jason's_planet at 11:51 AM on December 17, 2008

Alright, family secret time: you know that paternal grandfather whose middle name was "Oliver"? The one my niece is named after?

His first name was "Revilo."

Know why?....What's "Oliver" spelled backwards?


...He hated it. He made everyone call him "Row" after his initials (pronounced to rhyme with "cow"). I didn't know his real name until I was about ten.
posted by EmpressCallipygos at 11:51 AM on December 17, 2008 [1 favorite]

According to the historical graph in the "changes" link, my name was at its peak of popularity in the year I was born, and is almost never used now.

I've never liked it very much (it kind of sounds like a 70s name), though I've learned to deal. Still, parents: it might be better to stick to the classics than to go with something that's currently fashionable (or, worse yet, to make shit up and then spell it horribly).
posted by greenie2600 at 11:59 AM on December 17, 2008

My wife claims there is an Oranjello enrolled in kindergarten where she teaches. I insist she didn't realize that someone was joking.
posted by jrishel at 12:03 PM on December 17, 2008

EmpressCallipygos, if Olivia ever get's a baby brother, he should be named Aivilo
posted by jrishel at 12:06 PM on December 17, 2008

As a "Stephen" among a seemingly ever-increasing cohort of "Steven"s, I'd want to kill my parents if they gave me a "unique" spelling like "Mykul" rather than "Michael."

explosion, take it from one who knows: shop clerks, e-mail correspondents and delivery people seem to spell Michael as "Micheal" about one time in three.

I also speak as an uncle of six-month-old Sylus. I have no idea what sort of misspellings he will be dealing with for the next threescore and ten.
posted by ricochet biscuit at 12:09 PM on December 17, 2008

In Ghana, the trend, at least for the girls, is to have one of the traditional English virtue names; I've met lots of girls named Patience, Faith, Charity, etc. in my semester here. Most of the guys go by both their Christian names and their day names, but it seems as if everyone has at least four names that they'll respond to. There are some instances of names that are humorous (at least to Westerners), but I think that it's rarer than in Zimbabwe. Some of my favorites are a Nigerian named "Franchise" and two Ghanaian fishermen named "Big Ben" and "I See You".
posted by bassooner at 12:14 PM on December 17, 2008 [2 favorites]

I am just about to go to a meeting with a woman called Memory, which I think is a brilliant first name.
posted by i_am_joe's_spleen at 12:44 PM on December 17, 2008

Has anyone claimed to know an Oranjello yet? Or rather, their cousin, who is a delivery room nurse, heard some woman named her kid Oranjello? Swear to god, for serious. Oranjello.

electroboy, my mom works for a school photography company. Over the years, they've met some kids with not only Oranjello (and Lemonjello) but also -- I couldn't make this up if I tried -- Acetaminophen.

And my boyfriend thinks my comic book writer and Norse goddess name picks (for boy/girl respectively) are weird?
posted by bitter-girl.com at 12:47 PM on December 17, 2008

Has anyone claimed to know an Oranjello yet?

Word here has it that there is a Lemonjello, Oranjello and a girl named Vagina in the local school system.
posted by kuujjuarapik at 1:36 PM on December 17, 2008

I saw a picture of a friend of a friend today who was named Jeramiah. When people misspelled my name as such, I always just thought they were stupid but maybe not. Or maybe this guys parents were just stupid. Probably both.
posted by saul wright at 1:46 PM on December 17, 2008

Over the years, they've met some kids with not only Oranjello (and Lemonjello) but also -- I couldn't make this up if I tried -- Acetaminophen.

*sigh*
posted by electroboy at 1:47 PM on December 17, 2008 [2 favorites]

As someone that works mostly with New Canadians I find it interesting how some ethnic groups are more prone to use "English" names. Most East Indians I meet are refreshingly keeping their own naming traditions (including not always having the same family name). And it is great to meet so many non-Black people with names like Latisha, or non-Asians named Sook-Lin etc. My own name is pretty old-fashioned and unique, something I think it will remain because everytime I look it up in a baby name book it is insulted. One book, I think "Cool names" by Rosenkrantz, listed all sorts of unusal names as positive (Acorn, Blueberry, Adelaide) but next to my name it just said "Don't". It was more positive about the names Gertude and (large-) Marge than my own fuddy-duddy name. Geez, thanks.

The trend in naming girls either hyper-femine or appropriating gender-neutral or masculine names does not also apply to boys. I haven't met a little boy yet with a "girly" name. And that applies to male names that used to be soley male but have crossed the gender line like Evelyn or Tracy.
posted by saucysault at 3:41 PM on December 17, 2008

Personally, I expect that, as we're seeing now, our grandchildren will get the names that our grandmothers got. I can't wait to see little fresh-faced girls called Hazel, Lois, Iris, Edith, and Edna.

I have always associated certain names, particularly Carol, Barbara and Brenda, with helmet-haired women of the '60s and '70s. I don't know why that is, but they aren't appealing to me.

As for street names, I have noticed that if a person gives a street address with a woman's first name, you can almost always tell that they live in a planned subdivision. I can only assume developers named them after wives, daughters and mistresses. If it's an "older" woman's name, like Alice Street or Gladys Drive, then it's probably a '20s-era "Garden City" type subdivision. If it's a Lisa Street or Susan Court, then it could have been built any time after 1970 or so.

I have also noticed lately that every town in Massachusetts seems to have a Pleasant Street, and a Summer Street is very likely too. I wonder why that is.
posted by Countess Elena at 4:46 PM on December 17, 2008

So very topical: I nominate Stylez G. White for best NFL name change of '08. I hadn't realized there were more name-changes in NFL in the past year, but I really wasn't looking. Greg White, of the Buccaneers, is now Stylez G. White, paying some odd homage to Rupert 'Stiles' Stilinski. White's wikipedia page is already updated.
posted by filthy light thief at 6:45 PM on December 17, 2008

I love the name my parents gave me: Cyrena Jae Sullivan. The rest of our family had interesting names too, Spencer, Rosalie, Steve wasn't out of control. My aunts and uncles were named Natalie, Sharis, Rory, and Than. k

The spelling my first and middle name rock to me and they both come from grandparents on either side. My mom's mom was named Barbara Cyrena and my dad's dad was named Earl J. Yep, just the letter.

Cyrena Jae. It feels like it fits me all over. It's very unique in it's spelling and rarely used and it I feel down with my family. And I want to honor members of my family with my kids names. If I have a girl, she's going to be Abby Rose (though I've thought about spelling her first name like Kierkegaard's middle name). I have a great aunt named Abby and Rose would be for my mom.
Bonus points because it almost sounds like Abby Road.
posted by inconsequentialist at 9:39 AM on December 18, 2008

Pollomoncho: I'm glad you brought this up because I came across several very interesting discussions of the origins and meanings of Barack Hussein Obama. Before I turn over some real history on the origins of each part, I'll try and offer an interpretation that I've gathered given what I've heard Obama say.

Barack= Blessed
Hussein= good or beautiful
Obama= burning spear (something read in his first book, though not really right)

I like the sound of a blessed and good (or beautiful) burning spear. And most of his name is derived from Semitic languages. I'd like to share a few of the posts and articles I ran across yesterday because they are really informative.


Informed Comment on the origins of his name and its relation to there leaders names and histories.

Casselman's Word of the Day

Canossa on BHO


Salon: Proud to be Hussein

Beautiful Origns

Obama's official position vs the word of his father.
posted by inconsequentialist at 10:06 AM on December 18, 2008

saucysault,. I'm dying to know what your name is now! I love Adelaide.

In a novel I read once, a girl named Albertine after Proust's heroine was known as 'Bertie'.
posted by mippy at 4:11 AM on December 19, 2008