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December 17, 2008 4:03 PM   Subscribe

The Smoking Gun's 2008 Mug Shots Of The Year. At long last our legal standards have been boiled down to "innocent until proven hilarious".
posted by shii (68 comments total) 2 users marked this as a favorite

 
That first girl is kinda cute, and I like her original take-no-prisoners attitude.

Seriously though, are you even allowed to do a thing like that in a mug shot? Wouldn't the photographer tell you not to, or get you restrained or something? Or tazed? Tazed on your bottom? Your smooth, bare bottom, jiggling beneath a thousand volts of electricity? Uhh...
posted by turgid dahlia at 4:08 PM on December 17, 2008 [21 favorites]


Moo!
posted by mandal at 4:11 PM on December 17, 2008


As seen below, the list, arranged in descending order, kicks off with an unruly Jersey girl who got bounced from a Shore bar and then kicked, punched, and bit some cops.

Forget the mug shot, she's lucky she's white and female.
posted by TheOnlyCoolTim at 4:14 PM on December 17, 2008 [6 favorites]


I'm imagining this face with this makeup and realizing that, physically at least, we have found a replacement Joker.
posted by Ndwright at 4:15 PM on December 17, 2008 [1 favorite]


A collection of bovine puns may be found here.

Just because it's inevitable. So, dair you go.
posted by turgid dahlia at 4:17 PM on December 17, 2008 [2 favorites]


Dick was arrested on a pot possession charge while attending the Coachella music festival

To paraphrase Martin Sheen, that's like arresting someone for speeding during the Indy 500.
posted by jonmc at 4:22 PM on December 17, 2008 [1 favorite]


I was trying to figure out if that was Ed Norton playing Andy Dick or vice versa, Ndwright, but you nailed it there.
posted by rokusan at 4:22 PM on December 17, 2008


John Lovitz is never around when you need him.
posted by boo_radley at 4:26 PM on December 17, 2008 [1 favorite]


kinda?
posted by stargell at 4:27 PM on December 17, 2008


This one is my favorite.
posted by ageispolis at 4:46 PM on December 17, 2008


I did forget about 911, Thank You!
posted by P.o.B. at 5:03 PM on December 17, 2008 [2 favorites]


HA HA HA BLACK PEOPLE ARE WEARING OBAMA SHIRTS AND THEY GOT ARRESTED FOR CRIMES THIS IS TOTALLY NOTEWORTHY HA HA HA
posted by Shepherd at 5:04 PM on December 17, 2008


(I did find some of them funny, like the tiny nun (costume?), but their "#1 funny mugshot" was a lot of people who are disproportionately arrested, wearing a shirt promoting the first black then-Presidential-candidate in U.S. history? Weak.)
posted by Shepherd at 5:06 PM on December 17, 2008


Oh-hoh-hee-honh!
posted by Drexen at 5:06 PM on December 17, 2008


like the tiny nun (costume?)

I think she was a small Muslim women...but I could be wrong.
posted by P.o.B. at 5:09 PM on December 17, 2008


Oh hey, this reminds me, last week my better half totally said I could get a fade with something written in it and she wouldn't get mad.

This is going to be great.
posted by paisley henosis at 5:12 PM on December 17, 2008


I'm afraid that Obama fade is going to show up in "funny" emails from your right-wing dad. (Without even the flimsy pretext for his arrest included.)
posted by Countess Elena at 5:25 PM on December 17, 2008


When I see the guy Drexen pointed out I can't help but think of this saucy character.
posted by Jpfed at 5:30 PM on December 17, 2008


I don't get the Obama one. Criminal party in the White House? Isn't that a little bit of a stretch, considering the last 8 years?

I'd steer clear of GIT-R-DUN even if it weren't tattooed on the guy's forehead.
posted by DU at 5:42 PM on December 17, 2008


I was trying to figure out if that was Ed Norton playing Andy Dick or vice versa

Holy crap, that was Andy Dick?! The years have not been kind to that man.
posted by Ndwright at 5:43 PM on December 17, 2008


The years have not been kind to that man.

The years, I can't blame them.
posted by jonmc at 5:47 PM on December 17, 2008 [3 favorites]


Whoa, that was Andy Dick??

What's the deal with this: a single Xanax pill for which he did not have a prescription.

Is this illegal? Do I need to keep prescriptions stapled to medicine bottles in case the jackboots demand to see my papers?
posted by DU at 5:55 PM on December 17, 2008


If you're Andy Dick, you do.
posted by Astro Zombie at 5:59 PM on December 17, 2008 [5 favorites]


Didn't Andy Dick also grope a 16 year old girl for that arrest too?
posted by Mach5 at 6:08 PM on December 17, 2008


Oh, the stories I could tell about Andy Dick. (and fwiw, I'm an Obama supporter and the shot of all the arrested people in Obama shirts made me laugh. I bet you could do a similar collage with Superman shirts or maybe shirts advertising Viagra.)
posted by ColdChef at 6:13 PM on December 17, 2008 [1 favorite]


Boy George has let himself go.
posted by nanojath at 6:19 PM on December 17, 2008 [1 favorite]


Hmm, sometimes the joke is not so funny when soundly trounced by reality.
posted by nanojath at 6:24 PM on December 17, 2008


#3 is clearly not the Silver Surfer -- It's Tobias Funke!
posted by Saxon Kane at 6:28 PM on December 17, 2008


aw man. the black kid with the shades and the single tear just killed me. not funny, heartbreaking.
posted by lapolla at 6:28 PM on December 17, 2008


My favorite is the 9/11 guy, a badass. The cow guy is funny but it's old, I had seen that already.
posted by matteo at 6:29 PM on December 17, 2008


Has there been a steep drop in huffing spray paint from Hefty sacks this year or something?
posted by The Straightener at 6:33 PM on December 17, 2008


Yeah, the Obama shirts, and the guy with the fade...huh. Thanks, Smoking Gun, for providing pics for my obnoxious brother in law to send around again and again, hyuk hyuk?
posted by emjaybee at 6:39 PM on December 17, 2008


I trust this woman mas made to serve her month of jail time in costume.

(And I really am baffled by the second photograph there...)
posted by ricochet biscuit at 6:42 PM on December 17, 2008


Drexen: "Oh-hoh-hee-honh!"

Looks a lot like my yoga teacher. This explains the Snidely Whiplash mantras.
posted by subbes at 6:44 PM on December 17, 2008


Is this illegal? Do I need to keep prescriptions stapled to medicine bottles in case the jackboots demand to see my papers?

Yes it is illegal. You need to keep your prescription meds in the containers they came in when you picked them up from the pharmacy. Putting them in a different container is a crime.

I can only speak for my state
posted by C17H19NO3 at 6:46 PM on December 17, 2008


Isn't it something that, in 2008, hitting 'next' on the smoking gun's photo gallery still causes the whole page to reload?
posted by These Premises Are Alarmed at 7:05 PM on December 17, 2008 [1 favorite]


What state is that? c17? I follow drug policy and have never heard of such a law. It would be absurd given that many people use timers and pill cases labeled by the day of the week to ensure against accidental overdose or missed dose. Such things are especially important for the elderly and I'd be astonished if they were illegal anywhere.
posted by Maias at 7:06 PM on December 17, 2008


Putting them in a different container is a crime.

So - those pill boxes with a different compartment for each day of the week would be illegal? Wow, so adding this to the rest of the insane laws in the US - pretty much anyone, anywhere, anytime is breaking a law...
posted by jkaczor at 7:09 PM on December 17, 2008


Didn't Andy Dick also grope a 16 year old girl for that arrest too?

Yeah, but he did have a prescription for that.
posted by arto at 7:32 PM on December 17, 2008 [3 favorites]


Damn pain clinics.
posted by Astro Zombie at 7:34 PM on December 17, 2008


Putting them in a different container is a crime.

From my extensive knowledge of drug law accrued from watching COPS on tv, yes this is true. It h sto do with drug dealing. It's also one of the reasons the label will state what the pill looks like.

"No officer, I swear those are my Grandmother's diabetes drugs!"
posted by P.o.B. at 7:35 PM on December 17, 2008


One of a crime reporter's few pleasures is the steady stream of county jail mugs in my inbox every day.
posted by rigby51 at 8:24 PM on December 17, 2008


Maias: What state is that? c17? I follow drug policy and have never heard of such a law.

I've been to jail twice (suffice it to say, don't miss your court dates, kids, even if they're for little speeding tickets) and both times I had my ritalin on me in different bottles. And both times I was told in the strictest words that what I was doing was illegal and could get me arrested again. Yeah, it seemed absurd at the time, but I wasn't in the mood to argue. Methinks it's something like the 'no broken turn signal' and 'not too much tinting' rules; any reasonable cop will only use that kind of thing to investigate somebody skeezy more fully, and won't just go around haphazardly enforcing it.
posted by koeselitz at 8:54 PM on December 17, 2008


I'm in Colorado, if it matters.
posted by koeselitz at 8:55 PM on December 17, 2008


Didn't Andy Dick also grope a 16 year old girl for that arrest too?

Yeah, but he did have a prescription for that.

Is that a specialist referral or can a person just go to any old GP?
posted by turgid dahlia at 9:02 PM on December 17, 2008


Holy crap, that was Andy Dick?! The years have not been kind to that man.

Not entirely accurate. The years have been FAR kinder to Andy Dick than I would've ever predicted. He still makes a very decent living in his chosen profession, still getting constant paying work even though L.A. is filled with many talented comedic actors who *don't* have public and remorseless psychotic and sociopathic breaks on a regular basis. (For fun, let's google a few key words, shall we? 137,000, 213,000, 116,000, 296,000, 188,000, 79,200, 47,500... you get the idea. And having been flashed twice by him myself, here's the unsurprising winner... 378,000.)

Thing is, if you're a troubled tool of a guy and you don't mature or get help for your problems as you get into middle age, your rep as a party dude really becomes FAR FAR less entertaining and cute. If anything, the years just take away the appropriateness of not having learned how to control yourself. I mean, getting thrown out of a frat party when you're 18-28 is WAAAAYYYYY different than getting thrown out of a frat party when you're a FORTY THREE YEAR OLD FATHER. Because... well... it goes without saying that... JESUS ON A STICK, JUST WHAT THE FUCK IS WRONG WITH YOU, ANDY!!!????? WHAT THE HELL WERE YOU DOING HANGING OUT AT A FRAT PARTY AT 43? SERIOUSLY!

I mean Hell, there are just no words in the English language to make that behavior sound more or less pathetic than it is.
posted by miss lynnster at 9:22 PM on December 17, 2008 [1 favorite]


bounced from a Shore bar and then kicked, punched, and bit some cops

"Rumor around town is you might be thinkin' about goin' down to the shore."
"Uh, yeah, I think I'm gonna go down to the shore."
"Whaddya gonna do down there?"
"Oh, you know, play some video games, kick, punch and beat some cops..."
posted by DecemberBoy at 9:23 PM on December 17, 2008


apologies for my following rant. I'm tired.

JESUS ON A STICK, JUST WHAT THE FUCK IS WRONG WITH YOU, ANDY!!!????? WHAT THE HELL WERE YOU DOING HANGING OUT AT A FRAT PARTY AT 43? SERIOUSLY!

I mean Hell, there are just no words in the English language to make that behavior sound more or less pathetic than it is.


Hey misslynnster, no offense to you. Just an honest question for you and anyone else who wants to answer me. On first glance, I agreed with you, said yup, yup, right-o, indeed.

But is that so bad? Is that REALLY so bad?

Now I'm pretty young, in my early twenties. I like parties, but I don't really do drinking bad beer out of SOLO cups and being really raucous for the sake of being raucous and playing beer pong and what not. I've always enjoyed getting pleasantly intoxicated, but frat parties aren't for me. I understand how it's fun for other people, you know. One person's treasure, etc. etc.

But is that how it's gonna be? Am I gonna be 43 one day, still feeling like I'm young and sharp, wander in at a party some guys invite me to (who happen to be younger than I am), and then have to say "No -- I can't do this -- I'm too old?" What's wrong with being old? Am I not going to be able to push my way forward to the front of concert stages anymore? Will I not be able to dance my heart out for the sake of good music simply because I'll have to say "I'm forty-three" and slink away with my knees and elbows crying for a good dancing? Will I be afraid to go to amusement parks or the 'young' areas of town?

Is this what I have to look forward to? Not being able to do what I want, not because I have responsibilities or a family or because I'm harming myself -- I understand how these would be issues -- but simply because it's inappropriate for my age? Please, tell me. Is that what you guys do? Is this what happens? Or would it be just presumptuous, I would be presumptuous if I did something out of my age as an older dude(ette)?

You know where the word 'presumptuous' comes from? The sumptuary laws from the middle ages to the 17th century, in England, involved the regulation of public dress. These laws evolved to the point where the allowable boundaries of your dress were defined by your socioeconomic status. To be 'presumptuous' would be to dress outside of your socioeconomic status. Delightful, right?

I mention this because this sounds horrible, like some panopticonish prison concept, this groundless persecution based on your age. Age-appropriate? Is that what happens? You know, I'm pretty liberal, and I think that being against miscegenation, the sanctity of heterosexual marriage, against racism is the right way to go. I'm sure most of MeFi does too. On the other hand, HERE, here's the same dynamic in play against these notions which many hold to be the mark of a stagnant, unenlightened, non-democratic society -- the same stratification (you vs. them), the same sort of placing into neat categories under the guise of propriety ("like should hang out with like"), the same thing going on, being presumptuous, age-'appropriate'.

So yeah. Please. Is this what goes on? Tell me, tell me.
posted by suedehead at 10:27 PM on December 17, 2008 [2 favorites]


My age? You was never my age, officer Krupke.
posted by Astro Zombie at 11:12 PM on December 17, 2008


Number 5 needs to get himself over to Egremont
posted by RegMcF at 12:03 AM on December 18, 2008


suedehead: you wouldn't date someone still in high school, would you?

You're never too old to dance, but getting thrown out of a frat party for being mental at the age of 43 is pretty sad.
posted by Pronoiac at 12:28 AM on December 18, 2008


You're never too old to dance, but getting thrown out of a frat party for being mental at the age of 43 is pretty sad.

sad yes, sad no. WHY?

you wouldn't date someone still in high school, would you?

This is a whole other issue altogether though, because an age dynamic in dating brings up all sorts of power relations regarding sexual interaction and independence, etc. In addition, the brief-lived nature of partying doesn't compare in any way to commitment, compromise, etc. etc. etc. that relationships require. How is 'having fun at a party, albeit with younger people' and 'being in a relationship with a younger person' in any way on equal levels of intensity, duration, meaningfulness, etc etc etc etc etc?

I don't know. How different is partying at a frat house with, say, walking into a arcade and having a field day stacking quarters up and challenging all the neighborhood kiddies and teenagers to a round of Street Fighter? Is this still pathetic? Laughable?

Wowee it's getting late here and my sentences are getting looser and looser. this is my comment. There are many like it, but this one is mine
posted by suedehead at 12:44 AM on December 18, 2008


But is that so bad? Is that REALLY so bad?

Watch the video I linked to. Then answer your own question. The guy threw a beer bottle at someone and had to be dragged to a car because he was too drunk to stand.

I am 42 years old and I am all about having a good time in life, no matter the age. I get on stage and sing. I dance. I drink like a fish. But even when I was in my 20s I didn't throw beer bottles at people, and if I did I would think I would've learned by now that it's not very nice.
posted by miss lynnster at 1:01 AM on December 18, 2008


suedehead, your speech sounds very nice and dramatic, but life doesn't really work that way.

This is my understanding, gleaned from people who have passed their twenties. People who have passed their twenties, correct me if I'm wrong:

When you are 43, you are going to feel, really feel those drunken parties and mosh pits. When you wake up the next morning with a heck of a hangover and you still gotta drive your kids to the school at the ass crack of dawn, hanging out with a bunch of kids playing king's cup does not sound as fun. Especially when you could be at a classy bar drinking some fancy German shit instead of Keystone Ice.

When you are 43, you see exactly how immature all those twenty-year-olds are, and how much you've grown since your college years. The way they talk, the way they dress, the posturing, it is totally different. Nobody at that party can relate to you, and most of the subjects that they're focused on are from a time long in your past.

When you are 43, the fact that those parties and concerts are often a way to hook up is painfully clear, and you probably feel a little bit like a dirtbag because all the girls there are twenty years younger and it's weird and you're afraid you're going to be associated with the horndog young men who are after them.

When you are 43, when you do get drunk it will be with people your age, who are dealing with the same issues that you're dealing with, so those drunken conversations are more meaningful and you actually feel close to your drinking buddies. When you do party, it will be with people the same age for those reasons.

Basically, when you are 43, you have grown up, you are in a different stage in your life, and the things that appeal to you in your early twenties may not appeal as strongly as they do to you now. You may not believe there may come a time when beer pong is not the most awesome thing on the planet, ever. But I am 23, and I can tell you even the dorm parties that were SO RAD DUDE five years ago hold much less appeal to me now. It's like how you might be a rabid Star Wars fan as a kid, and can't imagine being anything but, and then you get a little older and more thoughtful and just pull away from it.

So when a 43-year-old acts like a 20-year-old, it looks pathetic because the implication is that the guy didn't grow up. Not from some "Oh, well, he's an adult now so why isn't he wearing his adult hat" judgment, but from the thought "Hmm, he doesn't seem to have gone through that natural evolution that 99% of other adults have gone through, and that is sort of weird."
posted by schroedinger at 1:03 AM on December 18, 2008 [7 favorites]


The whole concept of posting mugshots along with the person's full name and crimes with which they are being charged is strange to me. It seems like a casual dismissal of the whole concept of "innocent until proven guilty" by placing the onus on the accused to prove otherwise. Perhaps it is a throwback to America's Puritan roots where the public shaming of sinners occurred in that kind of theocratic legal system.

Some people that have their mugshots and arrest info published on the Internet are probably falsely accused and may have the charges reduced or altogether dropped. But if a future employer googles them and lands on a page with the candidate's arrest information, they will probably get the false impression about the person and not hire them.

I think that in most cases, especially victimless, petty and non-violent crimes, the mugshots and arrest information should not be available to the public. Do different jurisdictions have different policies concerning this?

AFAIK, they don't do this in Germany where I live. When someone here is arrested, usually the first name and last initial are used in media reports. I don't think this is the law however, just a form of journalistic standard, and a way to avoid charges of libel and slander, which is why the Bild and other forms of boulevard press are known to do it on some occasions. If there is a picture, usually the face of the accused, and often the victim, is blurred out. If the full name is published by one of the tabloids, then the other media outlets like Spiegel and Die Welt may possibly follow suit with the rationale that the information has since been made public by other media sources (the tabloids).
posted by chillmost at 1:39 AM on December 18, 2008


Miss lynnster: The guy threw a beer bottle at someone and had to be dragged to a car because he was too drunk to stand.

Ah, okay, didn't know about that. That's more understandable. My impression was that he was kicked out for being too old. And that partying at frat parties when you're 43 is in of itself a problem.

I am 42 years old and I am all about having a good time in life, no matter the age.

That's how I want to be! Whoopee!

Schroedinger:
So when a 43-year-old acts like a 20-year-old, it looks pathetic because the implication is that the guy didn't grow up.


Thanks for your reply. I get all that you're saying, and agree at certain points. But that's really is a reiteration of the same point, a tautology: he's pathetic because he's acting outside of his age, as if he didn't grow up -- and acting outside of your age, as if he hasn't grown up is pathetic.

from the thought "Hmm, he doesn't seem to have gone through that natural evolution that 99% of other adults have gone through, and that is sort of weird.

So this is a sort of discrimination against the majority? I know it's not as explicitly political as I make it out to be, but these politics are there nonetheless -- "he's different than most of us, so that's weird". If I continue to cultivate a sweet tooth and luuuuurve gummi bears at the age of 43, would that be weird? What about videogames, or playing with lego? An action hero collection? What about dancing alone to music? What about dancing in a club to music? and so on and so forth.

My point is there seems to be a group of things considered "immature" that are okay (the earlier stuff in the list that I mentioned) and that aren't okay. Partying is bad, chocolate is okay, candy is iffy, etc. If we make this distinction isn't it simply because most people at this age do this thing? Most people at this age don't do this thing? So the "don't-do" is the bad area, the prosecuted minority, the middle-aged dude (or dudette) who can't reveal his secret GI-Joe or Ken-doll collection to their friends lest they point at him laugh, and laugh, and laugh...

Oh, and by the way, I'm disagreeing with you right now, shroedinger, because I actually agree with you a lot on an initial level and am just double-guessing myself. Just to let you know..
posted by suedehead at 2:29 AM on December 18, 2008


My god. We're overthinking a plate of dicks.
posted by cavalier at 5:23 AM on December 18, 2008 [5 favorites]


I'm with lapolla. The single-tear black guy with shades would make a great album cover, in fact. If that dude can sing, I'm signing him.
posted by dabitch at 6:09 AM on December 18, 2008


Boy George has let himself go.

The makeup is just part of the referee's uniform.
posted by kirkaracha at 6:35 AM on December 18, 2008


It's quite inappropriate for a 43 year old to go to a frat party, throw glass at someone, and get too drunk to stand.

It's also quite inappropriate for a 20 year old to go to a frat party, throw glass at someone, and get too drunk to stand.
posted by TheOnlyCoolTim at 6:38 AM on December 18, 2008 [1 favorite]


I will submit that in this instance, at least, a 58 year old partying with twentysomethings is A-OK with me.
posted by stupidsexyFlanders at 7:13 AM on December 18, 2008


I see where you're going suedehead but the whole premise is moot:

Am I gonna be 43 one day, still feeling like I'm young and sharp, wander in at a party some guys invite me to...

You may, at 43, be young and sharp and still the life of the party, and there will be any number of age-appropriate venues for you to get your drunk on without raising an eyebrow, but unless you are, or become, a drug-dealer or a C-level celeb like Mr. Dick, you will never, ever, ever, ever, be invited to a fraternity party, unless the goal is to rob or otherwise humilate you. It's not fair or unfair, it just is.

The ONLY exception to this will be if you are visiting a child at said college during a parents or homecoming weekend, where you'll be welcomed with open arms but expected to behave and not linger too long.
posted by jalexei at 7:14 AM on December 18, 2008


Just want to second the response here that drinking when you're older is better in so many ways (better booze, better conversation) and worse in only one...if you get blasted enough for a serious hangover. The last time I got a hangover, it lasted THREE days*. My tolerance just ain't much anymore, and it's not worth it to me to build it back up. Too much life to take care of.

*Gray Goose, why do you hate me so?
posted by emjaybee at 8:48 AM on December 18, 2008


unless you are, or become, a drug-dealer or a C-level celeb like Mr. Dick, you will never, ever, ever, ever, be invited to a fraternity party, unless the goal is to rob or otherwise humilate you.

Honestly, I'm 99.9% sure the only reason Andy Dick was at that party was that he was invited by someone for entertainment, and probably to be humiliated. Because everyone knows he's a walking freak show... and what could be more entertaining than saying to your friends, "Dude, remember that party where Andy Dick threw a beer bottle at me!??? NO WAY! Then we threw him in a car? AWWWEEESSOOOOMMMMEEEEEE!" And furthermore, as he was being carried out and the guys were drunk mugging for the camera and throwing beer at him from a balcony, in his mind Andy Dick may very well have also been thinking he was awesome too and that these guys were throwing stuff at him out support for his awesomeness, because his perception of reality is known to be uniquely remorseless.

I have friends of all ages, and we share fun times together. But I encourage you again to watch that video of Andy at the party. Then think to yourself, "When I am twice my age, do I *really* want to be exactly where I am now, partying exactly as I am now but (and now here's the key difference) with everyone in the room being half my age and wanting to humiliate me and NONE of them actually being my friends?" Because when I watched that video I just saw a lot of loneliness in Andy and not much genuine fun sharing going on. The only fun that was being shared was by the guys at the party who were mocking him and videotaping it.
posted by miss lynnster at 11:26 AM on December 18, 2008


This one is beautiful. I bet the police photographer was really proud that day: "Did you see how I got the flash just right to make his grill sparkle?!"
posted by rmless at 1:44 PM on December 18, 2008


This one
posted by rmless at 1:44 PM on December 18, 2008


Oh man... I just saw a trailer for the reality show Sober House, featuring a bawling Andy Dick. Sooo, wow. Forget the remorseless comments... in the clip he seemed to really be hitting bottom and caring about his son's opinion of him. Frankly, I had a hard time watching it after just writing about him on here... he's really a troubled guy and it's awfully sad.
posted by miss lynnster at 10:12 PM on December 18, 2008


Andy Dick on The View this morning, singing the Secure Continuous Remote Alcohol Ankle Bracelet Blues. Guess his addictions are back to being funny ha ha joke fodder. He seems sober though which is really good.

They also cut to show his (very cute!) son in the audience. Apparently he has 3 kids in all.
posted by miss lynnster at 12:21 PM on December 22, 2008


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