Scarlett Johansson's snot for sale on eBay.

December 18, 2008 12:38 PM

On December 17's Tonight Show With Jay Leno, featured guest Scarlett Johansson claimed she had caught a cold from Samuel L. Jackson; she said she felt that her germs were valuable, coming from Jackson, and maybe she could sell them on eBay. Jay Leno handed her a tissue, she blew her nose. The used tissue was sealed in a plastic bag, which was signed by Johansson. Proceeds go to charity.

Proceeds go to charity.

posted by Restless Day (58 comments total)

FREE SHIPPING!
posted by The Whelk at 12:38 PM on December 18, 2008

what
posted by killdevil at 12:39 PM on December 18, 2008

gross.
posted by saul wright at 12:39 PM on December 18, 2008

Dude, I've got Madonna's pap smear.
posted by fixedgear at 12:42 PM on December 18, 2008 [25 favorites]

I'm having second thoughts about getting that, I don't want to clone Samuel L. Jackson by mistake.
posted by StickyCarpet at 12:44 PM on December 18, 2008

'snot all that valuable.
posted by Kickstart70 at 12:45 PM on December 18, 2008 [1 favorite]

Just goes to show, you can sell damn near anything on EBay...

But what about Craigslist?
posted by JB71 at 12:46 PM on December 18, 2008

Doesn't ebay have a policy against selling bodily fluids?
posted by bondcliff at 12:47 PM on December 18, 2008

A friend of mine once said of a woman at the restaurant, "I'd eat shit from her ass to see where it came from." I'm sure he would approve of this.

(yeah, I know: pre-emptively - eponysterical.)
posted by notsnot at 12:50 PM on December 18, 2008

She's one or two years away from being relegated to prime-time TV.
posted by Zambrano at 12:51 PM on December 18, 2008 [1 favorite]

So, something tedious was on the Tonight Show. Not exactly a first.

(or post-worthy)
posted by washburn at 12:52 PM on December 18, 2008

Hedonism to the max. Max nasty, that is.
posted by doctorschlock at 12:53 PM on December 18, 2008

She's one or two years away from being relegated to prime-time TV.

You didn't expect Woody to be attracted to her forever, did you? She's like 24 now.
posted by Joe Beese at 12:56 PM on December 18, 2008 [2 favorites]

Doesn't ebay have a policy against selling bodily fluids?

Yeah, I think they do. I remember a post a while back about some sort of anti-ebay that was create for people to sell all the things that weren't allowed to be sold on ebay. I remember it seemed to be popular with certain women who sold certain, um, used clothing that isn't allowed on eBay because of the bodily fluid rule.
posted by burnmp3s at 12:57 PM on December 18, 2008

Normally, both your asses would be dead as fucking fried chicken, but you happen to pull this shit while I'm in a transitional period so I don't wanna kill you, I wanna help you. But I can't give you this kleenex, it don't belong to me. Besides, I've already been through too much shit this morning over this kleenex to hand it over to your dumb ass.
posted by Astro Zombie at 12:58 PM on December 18, 2008 [4 favorites]

This is horrible.
posted by niccolo at 12:59 PM on December 18, 2008

She's one or two years away from being relegated to prime-time TV the Cabinet.
Fixed.
posted by jckll at 12:59 PM on December 18, 2008

I'm having second thoughts about getting that, I don't want to clone Samuel L. Jackson by mistake.

House of Samuel L. Jacksons!
posted by solipsophistocracy at 1:01 PM on December 18, 2008 [1 favorite]

Only one post with the tag celebritysnot? This must not stand!
posted by Lemurrhea at 1:12 PM on December 18, 2008 [2 favorites]

Nightmare scenario #1: Scarlett Johansson clone that CAN'T STOP YELLING!!!
posted by steef at 1:14 PM on December 18, 2008 [2 favorites]

This is the blur of a culture in collapse.
posted by four panels at 1:16 PM on December 18, 2008 [1 favorite]

And whitey's on the moon.
posted by punkfloyd at 1:17 PM on December 18, 2008 [4 favorites]

Nightmare scenario #1: Scarlett Johansson clone that CAN'T STOP YELLING!!!

I think this was the basis for the movie The Island.
posted by Astro Zombie at 1:19 PM on December 18, 2008 [2 favorites]

Is it still celebrity snot once the snot has left the celebrity? I mean this is decanted phlegm we're talking about.

OMG we're talking about decanted phegm... (leaves to find a life)
posted by pixlboi at 1:21 PM on December 18, 2008

(comes back) err... phlegm... (leaves again)
posted by pixlboi at 1:22 PM on December 18, 2008

....And legions of drooling 4chan otakus rejoice at the thought of having the masturbatory subject matter and the necessary receptable together in a convenient package.
posted by Inspector.Gadget at 1:23 PM on December 18, 2008 [2 favorites]

Be dialin', people! Be diiiiiiiiiialin'!
posted by VicNebulous at 1:24 PM on December 18, 2008

I'm having second thoughts about getting that, I don't want to clone Samuel L. Jackson by mistake.

Actually, you might be able to combine the DNA to create an actor with Jackson's talent and Johansson's body.

Or vice versa.
posted by Joey Michaels at 1:25 PM on December 18, 2008

Jackson has the Q virus too?
posted by RogerB at 1:25 PM on December 18, 2008 [1 favorite]

In the words of the great Sam Jackson: GET THIS MOTHER F****IN SNOT OFF THIS MOTHER F***IN SITE!
posted by matt755811 at 1:26 PM on December 18, 2008

Is this what we've become? Idol worshipers of filth. I have trouble with sloppy seconds.
posted by doctorschlock at 1:30 PM on December 18, 2008

Buy it, get her DNA analyzed, and sell the report to a gossip magazine. "Scarlett's Twisted Family Secrets" -- "Her Double Helix Tells All".
posted by pracowity at 1:36 PM on December 18, 2008

I find this deeply depressing.
posted by ob at 1:37 PM on December 18, 2008

And Britney's gum was auctioned, too. Look where that got her.
posted by filthy light thief at 1:39 PM on December 18, 2008

I'm holding out for the end-of-year post-Christmas menstrual fluid sale, personally.
posted by jamstigator at 1:53 PM on December 18, 2008

Corey Haim did it better.
posted by hermitosis at 1:57 PM on December 18, 2008

Doesn't ebay have a policy against selling bodily fluids?

Well...it's not really fluid, per-se. More like bodily pudding.
posted by Thorzdad at 1:57 PM on December 18, 2008

100% nasty. Still, it seems like the sort of thing that goldenpalacecasino.com would be all over.
posted by jquinby at 2:00 PM on December 18, 2008

Nightmare scenario #1: Scarlett Johansson clone that CAN'T STOP YELLING!!!

Hey, look at the bright side - it could've been Chris Tucker's DNA.
posted by Marisa Stole the Precious Thing at 2:01 PM on December 18, 2008

So do you think it will be worth more or less once it solidifies?
posted by InfidelZombie at 2:03 PM on December 18, 2008

Thorasmog, Whatchamazog, Thoraxandabog, ThreeYaksAndADog ...Susan?
posted by lord_wolf at 2:22 PM on December 18, 2008 [1 favorite]

Wonder what she got for Bill Murray's badinage?
posted by netbros at 2:23 PM on December 18, 2008

So when the Bad-Mother-Fucker Virus (BMFV) wipes out 3/4ths of the planet, we know who patient zero was and who was the Typhoid Mary who gave it to the rest of us, huh?

Thanks, Scarlett. Thanks a lot.
posted by quin at 2:31 PM on December 18, 2008

.......got to infect every muthafucka in the ROOM!
posted by longsleeves at 2:38 PM on December 18, 2008

Wanna buy a PacMan Fever lunchbox
Wanna buy a case of vintage tube socks
Wanna buy a Kleenex used by Dr. Dre
Found it on eBay
posted by spamguy at 2:49 PM on December 18, 2008

Say "ah-choo" again, motherfucker!
posted by The Bellman at 3:17 PM on December 18, 2008 [2 favorites]

Well, I'm a mushroom-cloud-layin' motherfucker, motherfucker! Every time my fingers touch snot, I'm Superfly T.N.T., I'm the Guns of the Navarone! IN FACT, WHAT THE FUCK AM I DOIN' IN THE BACK? YOU'RE THE MOTHERFUCKER WHO SHOULD BE ON SNOT DETAIL! We're fuckin' switchin'! I'm washin' the windows, and you're pickin' up this bitch's phlegm!
posted by turgid dahlia at 3:36 PM on December 18, 2008

I was hoping for an angry response from Jackson, along the lines of "Motherfucker, I didn't give you no got-damn cold."
posted by klangklangston at 3:36 PM on December 18, 2008

Wonder what she got for Bill Murray's badinage?

I just figured out what he says to her at the end of Lost In Translation:

"Listen, you've got something dangling from your nose."
posted by turgid dahlia at 3:37 PM on December 18, 2008

The bid is currently up to $2,151.00.
posted by Pronoiac at 3:49 PM on December 18, 2008

Isn't it funny when your nose is runny, and it looks like honey, but it's snot.
posted by Samuel Farrow at 4:21 PM on December 18, 2008

washburn Not exactly a first. (or post-worthy)

I have been waiting years for this:

"Who is Claude Applegarth?" she asked.
"He's supposed to be the most influential critic in New York. And I suppose that means the world," said Schnak.
"I do not know his name," said the Doctor. "And I blow my nose in his hair."

_from The Lyre Of Orpheus, by Robertson Davies

Anyway, it was either this or this.
posted by Restless Day at 4:41 PM on December 18, 2008

Watch, she probably got the cold from Ryan Reynolds or Woody Allen or something.

I predict this cloning experiment will go horribly wrong in ways y'all never imagined.
posted by louche mustachio at 5:17 PM on December 18, 2008

> I'm having second thoughts about getting that, I don't want to clone Samuel L. Jackson by mistake.

No, it's the germ's DNA they have in common -- it's not like she snorted his sperm.
posted by sdodd at 5:19 PM on December 18, 2008

That we know of.
posted by netbros at 5:27 PM on December 18, 2008 [4 favorites]

Metafilter: Talking about decanted phegm
posted by ElvisJesus at 4:53 AM on December 19, 2008

Qutb gave up on America far too early. That was only the preview.
posted by Durn Bronzefist at 7:17 AM on December 19, 2008

I'm going to quote Whoopi G from the view and various other entertainment offerings
WHAT THE HELL!!
posted by dominica at 9:20 AM on December 19, 2008