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How to bake a potato
December 18, 2008 3:28 PM   Subscribe

How to bake a potato. I've got mine in the oven right now.
posted by Citizen Premier (100 comments total) 6 users marked this as a favorite

 
Neat! I how he tackles "How to boil water" next, then maybe moves onto peanut butter on toast.
posted by Keith Talent at 3:31 PM on December 18, 2008 [5 favorites]


He could also do subbing how for hope, because you're a big idiot.
posted by Keith Talent at 3:31 PM on December 18, 2008


Seriously. How to bake a potato. Are you farking kidding?
posted by cavalier at 3:32 PM on December 18, 2008


This is not a good post for Metafilter.
posted by Joe Beese at 3:33 PM on December 18, 2008 [3 favorites]


Popcorn hacks!
posted by Mid at 3:34 PM on December 18, 2008


any non-motor oil will work


Ahhhhhhhh, that explains it.
posted by furiousxgeorge at 3:35 PM on December 18, 2008 [2 favorites]


I'm glad to hear I'm not the only one that registers domain names while drunk!
posted by joelf at 3:35 PM on December 18, 2008 [2 favorites]


Any support out there for his claim that microwaving destroys nutrients?
posted by found missing at 3:36 PM on December 18, 2008 [1 favorite]


Really?

... This required a photoblog?

REALLY?

... huh.

I mean I'm a good cook and often make over-reaching assumptions about what people understand, but...

... huh.

[walks away. turns back to look again. finally walks away shaking head]
posted by Lacking Subtlety at 3:36 PM on December 18, 2008


I do 1/2 - 1/2 microwave and oven.
posted by swift at 3:37 PM on December 18, 2008


Using your average fork work your way around each potato stabbing deeply into it's flesh.

And here all this time I was jabbing myself in the eye. Second thought, it wasn't such a bad idea after all.
posted by MiltonRandKalman at 3:37 PM on December 18, 2008


This is genius for the web. I personally know several teenagers who would kill for this info.
posted by Brandon Blatcher at 3:40 PM on December 18, 2008 [4 favorites]


It certainly delivers what it advertises.
posted by sswiller at 3:41 PM on December 18, 2008 [1 favorite]


Russet potatoes are the most popular for baking, either large or small.

Those do not appear to be russet potatoes. Just, y'know, FYI.
posted by dersins at 3:41 PM on December 18, 2008 [5 favorites]


Overthinking a plate of potatoes.
posted by sanko at 3:43 PM on December 18, 2008


howtoboilwater.com
posted by swift at 3:47 PM on December 18, 2008 [1 favorite]


Also, a heck of a lot of ads on the page too.
posted by garlic at 3:47 PM on December 18, 2008


Paul Weyrich, Dominationist and architect of the Christian Right, the guy who called for boycotting the US Army unless it expelled all Wiccans, has died, and we get a story on how to bake a potato?
posted by orthogonality at 3:48 PM on December 18, 2008


I recently read a book which told me something not a lot of recipes suggest, which is to actually do a karate chop on the potato after removing it from the oven. Doing so pulverises the contents and makes it all floofy and nice inside when you open it up.
posted by 6am at 3:48 PM on December 18, 2008


I've got mine in the oven right now.
INCREASE TEMP TO 425! IT'S NOT TOO LATE!!!
posted by contraption at 3:50 PM on December 18, 2008


Anyone else notice how unattractive his potatoes turned out?
posted by alpha_betty at 3:53 PM on December 18, 2008


Y’know, when my wife and I first moved in together she used to cook everything and people used to laugh at me because until I discovered simple, easy to use sites like this I couldn’t even make toast.

Now of course, I can make ...toast.
posted by Smedleyman at 3:53 PM on December 18, 2008 [1 favorite]


Also, this.
posted by alpha_betty at 3:53 PM on December 18, 2008


Those do not appear to be russet potatoes. Just, y'know, FYI.

I think they are, I recently bought some russet potatoes that look the same to me. Unless russet potatoes are like champagne, in that there are "imitations" and "the real deal."
posted by Citizen Premier at 3:54 PM on December 18, 2008


Double?

Only result in a search for howtobakeapotato.
posted by rokusan at 3:54 PM on December 18, 2008 [1 favorite]


*does not bookmark*
posted by Ron Thanagar at 3:55 PM on December 18, 2008


Actually I take it back. Those are pretty purple.
posted by Citizen Premier at 3:55 PM on December 18, 2008


Using your average fork work your way around each potato stabbing deeply into it's flesh.

There are no "average" forks in my kitchen, good sir. I have only exceptional forks.
posted by rokusan at 3:56 PM on December 18, 2008 [1 favorite]


Double?

Only result in a search for howtobakeapotato.


Blah, that's http://www.howtobakeapotato.com, this is http://howtobakeapotato.com
I did do a tag search, but then I didn't really look at all the links, potatoes being a pretty boring subject.
posted by Citizen Premier at 3:58 PM on December 18, 2008


Spice it up and add lots of mystery meat. For example:

Get the butter. We know you like it thick and creamy. Thankfully this plump treasure likes to do it it on the counter.
fake post by OldHatMefite (146 comments total)[add to favorites] [!] 32 users marked this as favorite
posted by crapmatic at 3:59 PM on December 18, 2008 [2 favorites]


This site would be better in mad libs format:

Using your _(adj+noun)_ work your way around each _(noun)_ stabbing _(adj)_ into it's _(noun)_. 6-12 stabs should do it depending on the size of the _(noun)_ you are using.

Now you should have a container full of cleaned, poked, and oiled _(noun)_

posted by fontophilic at 4:00 PM on December 18, 2008


Paul Weyrich, Dominationist and architect of the Christian Right, the guy who called for boycotting the US Army unless it expelled all Wiccans, has died, and we get a story on how to bake a potato?

I know! Isn't it great?
posted by rtha at 4:01 PM on December 18, 2008 [5 favorites]


Why bake your own potato, when you can just have it delivered.
posted by netbros at 4:01 PM on December 18, 2008



Coming soon: how to boil water. Intructions include how to gently simmer, bring to a rolling boil, and, for the truly adventurous, a roiling boil.

(BTW: microwaved potatoes: ugh.)
posted by kozad at 11:02 AM on August 28, 2005 [+] [!]



Neat! I how he tackles "How to boil water" next, then maybe moves onto peanut butter on toast.
posted by Keith Talent at 5:31 PM on December 18 [1 favorite +] [!]

posted by sanko at 4:03 PM on December 18, 2008


I did not know about the olive oil. I also don't know how to make mashed potatoes. I do, however, think that these are the sorts of things you can figure out eventually via your mom, dad, friendly neighbor, meek coworker, strange boss, passionate lover, long lost high school acquaintance, or that dog who looks like he'd rather be inside the Thai food restaurant instead of tied up to the no parking sign out front.
posted by Mister Cheese at 4:04 PM on December 18, 2008 [2 favorites]


My response can be found on what.com.
posted by DU at 4:05 PM on December 18, 2008


rtha writes "I know! Isn't it great?"

I'm not going to celebrate anyone's death.
posted by orthogonality at 4:06 PM on December 18, 2008


Also, a heck of a lot of ads on the page too.

I apologize. I use firefox, so I didn't know.
posted by Citizen Premier at 4:07 PM on December 18, 2008


I'm in my early twenties and moving out soon - so any cheap recipes like this is gold to me! I can't cook for crap.
posted by IanF at 4:08 PM on December 18, 2008


I don't think I'm sufficiently baked.
posted by box at 4:12 PM on December 18, 2008


I don't think I'm sufficiently baked.

Squeeze yourself in the middle; are you soft?
posted by Citizen Premier at 4:13 PM on December 18, 2008 [1 favorite]


Now this is something. I want more.
posted by JohnR at 4:17 PM on December 18, 2008


Double?

Blah, that's http://www.howtobakeapotato.com, this is http://howtobakeapotato.com


So we can look forward to a front page post for http://www.howtobakeapotato.com/index.html 'round about 2013, then?
posted by rokusan at 4:19 PM on December 18, 2008 [1 favorite]


Anyway I don't see why you can't pre-heat the oven sooner, before digging the bruises out with your fingernail.
posted by thinkpiece at 4:19 PM on December 18, 2008


It's not really a baked potato without something bacon-y on it.
posted by peewinkle at 4:21 PM on December 18, 2008


Is there a good site to help you turn on your oven? I'm stuck on that step. It's a white one if that helps.
posted by puckupdate at 4:21 PM on December 18, 2008 [5 favorites]


I like single serving sites, and also potatoes (and Potato).
posted by jessamyn at 4:22 PM on December 18, 2008 [1 favorite]


A warning about the last step: Squeeze very gently. I've got potato all over my mouse and keyboard right now.
posted by Citizen Premier at 4:24 PM on December 18, 2008 [1 favorite]


Pretty damn good potato, though.
posted by Citizen Premier at 4:24 PM on December 18, 2008


Well, in the interest of adding pointless comments to a really pointless post, IanF, start with this:

1. To cook soup, first open can. Dump soup in appropriately sized pot. Heat until just starting to boil. Remove from heat and let cool a little. Transfer to bowl if you like. Eat with a spoon, not your fingers. Mmmm.

2. To cook pasta, boil water (see above). Add a little salt and oil to water. Dump in appropriate amount of pasta. Cook until tender. Drain in a nifty device called a collander (look it up) or just pour out the water against the (interior) side of the sink. Dump in the premade, bottled pasta sauce of your choice. Top with packaged grated cheese. Stuff your face.

I could go on...
posted by elendil71 at 4:27 PM on December 18, 2008


my main beef is that he went to all that trouble and couldn't spring a buck for a handsome Idaho Baker.
posted by dawson at 4:42 PM on December 18, 2008


I don't really want one right now, but maybe I'll pop one in just in case I get hungry later.
posted by leviathan3k at 4:46 PM on December 18, 2008 [2 favorites]


You're killing us, jessamyn. Use your powers for good!
posted by a robot made out of meat at 4:50 PM on December 18, 2008 [1 favorite]


I... uhhh... will admit to having used this site. What can I tell ya? Maybe ya'll know how long to bake a potato, but I had to look it up on the internet. It turns out that when you search for "How to bake a potato," this is what comes up.
posted by ph00dz at 4:56 PM on December 18, 2008 [1 favorite]


Pure, pure ad spam domain. This exists 100% to generate ad & search revenue.
posted by GuyZero at 4:57 PM on December 18, 2008


Christ, I guess I'm not going to a potluck today.

Anyone in san diego want some potatoes?
posted by Citizen Premier at 4:57 PM on December 18, 2008


Pure, pure ad spam domain. This exists 100% to generate ad & search revenue.

Yeah, but in return it tells you how to bake a potato.
posted by Citizen Premier at 5:00 PM on December 18, 2008 [5 favorites]


This is exactly how Alton Brown says to bake a potato, and those are not the russets I know and love (skins are way too thin and smooth).
posted by padraigin at 5:00 PM on December 18, 2008


2nding Brandon. While not necessarily the best MeFi material, I think the author has hit on, at the very least, a killer way to make money. As the site jumps up the Google Rank on "how to bake a potato", the AdSense will just roll in.
posted by l33tpolicywonk at 5:01 PM on December 18, 2008


I once checked out a Rachel Ray cookbook from the library because I was wondering why she was so popular. It was filled with recipes like this:

Olive Medley
Buy several types of olives from the olive bar at your grocery store. Arrange on a plate. Serve to your guests.
posted by Secret Life of Gravy at 5:11 PM on December 18, 2008 [6 favorites]


Nobody uses aluminum foil anymore? I'd truly be interested in the pros and cons of foil. I do it both ways. I have no idea why.
posted by kozad at 5:20 PM on December 18, 2008


While perhaps not "best of the web", I fail to see how it's obvious what temperature to set your oven to, or how long to cook it, etc. At least, it wasn't obvious to me the first time I tried to do this a few years ago, and also had to rely on The Internets for advice.

This was during the brief period when I was single, living alone, and decided I maybe should learn to cook. I quickly learned that, no, I shouldn't learn to cook, because it sucks, and have happily been not-cooking for years now. Being married to a woman who loves to cook helps, but I wouldn't cook anyway. (Hell, if I could manage it, I wouldn't bother eating either, but my body doesn't like that idea as much as my mind does).
posted by wildcrdj at 5:24 PM on December 18, 2008


Fuck this. Any asshole knows how to bake a goddamn potato.

Here's something TRULY useful:

How to poach salmon in your dishwasher.
posted by BitterOldPunk at 5:26 PM on December 18, 2008 [2 favorites]


Double?

Blah, that's http://www.howtobakeapotato.com, this is http://howtobakeapotato.com


Yep. What's next? Ah yes, recipes for double baked potatoes.
posted by ericb at 5:27 PM on December 18, 2008


I hate Rachael Ray. I hate her as much as I hate Dr. Phil, which is quite a lot. She grates on my nerves like a toothache, and I want to punch her in her big fat mouth. I also want to punch Phil in his big, fat head. They both make me cringe.

I was home from work today (Snowday! In Seattle!!) watching daytime TV and contemplating how supremely awful and depressing it all is (The Bonnie Hunt Show - seriously?).

I was flipping channels at the top of the hour when I noticed that Dr. Phil and Rachael Ray are on *at the same fucking time*. Ug. But, the other choice was, like, Judge Alex or some shit even worse than those two idiots, so I tuned into Rachael Ray thinking "eh, maybe she'll make some new kind of grated-cheese-potato mess."

Guess who her first guest was? DR FUCKING PHIL. Ray and Phil in the same room, horse laughing and guffawing and stuffing dill-yogurt potato chip dip into their stupid faces.

I no longer wonder why stay at home moms tend to like their wine and pills.
posted by tristeza at 5:29 PM on December 18, 2008 [8 favorites]


That salmon/dishwasher recipe is catching my eye.
posted by Max Power at 5:59 PM on December 18, 2008


Nobody uses aluminum foil anymore? I'd truly be interested in the pros and cons of foil. I do it both ways. I have no idea why.
posted by kozad at 8:20 PM

It makes a difference in the skin. If you roast it naked with a bit of oil, you get a crispy skin (well, on a russet potato-- I've never tried roasting a whole red potato, only cut-up reds mixed in with other vegs for grilling/roasting.) With the foil jacket, the skin is more tender, less flavorful.
posted by Secret Life of Gravy at 6:11 PM on December 18, 2008


Snoop dogg does it better
posted by plebmaster at 6:22 PM on December 18, 2008


At the very end of the page, the author misspells the word "potato". "Thanks for visiting my page on how to bake a pototo!" Aaah! The whole page is about potatoes! Get it right!
posted by hooray at 6:55 PM on December 18, 2008 [2 favorites]




Now I really want a baked potato. Damn Japan and its lack of ovens! Maybe I'll have nikujaga instead...
posted by emmling at 7:15 PM on December 18, 2008


Damn Japan and its lack of ovens!

Of all of the things I've heard about Japan, this is the only one that's surprised me.

I've BEEN to japan. I may be the most oblivious person alive.
posted by flaterik at 7:48 PM on December 18, 2008


GuyZero: Pure, pure ad spam domain.

No, not pure.

This is pure.
posted by Pinback at 7:48 PM on December 18, 2008


Seriously, is there some sort of secret parallel "lamest post of December" contest that I'm not cool enough to have heard about?
posted by nanojath at 7:55 PM on December 18, 2008


I used this site about a month ago.

I couldn't remember what the damn temperature is that a potato should bake at. Of all the useless bits of knowledge I have decided to carry around with me, at some point in my life I decided to know that a group of owls is called a parliament rather than what temp a potato should be baked at.

And no, I don't know what temperature to bake an owl at, either.
posted by Windigo at 8:18 PM on December 18, 2008 [5 favorites]


I'd like to weigh in on the dishwasher fish poaching, as I've done it with rainbow trout. Only real difference for mine was it was a whole fish. put some lemon slices, herbs and a splash of white wine inside the fish, sealed the foil, cranked it up.

It fucking works, and it is fucking awesome.
posted by middleclasstool at 8:23 PM on December 18, 2008


Mary Land instructs in her 1954 book, Louisiana Cookery, that owls are to be fricasséed.

In case anyone cares to add THAT to their base of random knowledge.
posted by Windigo at 8:25 PM on December 18, 2008


Well, in the interest of adding pointless comments to a really pointless post, IanF, start with this:


The sarcasm is strong in this one.
posted by IanF at 8:37 PM on December 18, 2008


For the more adventurous amongst us: how to make potato salad.
posted by WolfDaddy at 9:43 PM on December 18, 2008


I like baked potatoes. I don't have a microwave oven, and it takes forever to bake a potato in a conventional oven. Sometimes I'll just throw one in there, even if I don't want one, because by the time it's done, who knows?
- Mitch Hedberg
posted by justgary at 9:54 PM on December 18, 2008


Those are some tasty-looking baked potatoes, for sure - but has no one yet noticed that he has FOUR FUCKING WAYS TO COOK CORN ON THE COB?!?!?!?!!!???!!

I am not doing ANYTHING else this week.
posted by yhbc at 10:03 PM on December 18, 2008


81 comments on how to bake a potato.

I love you, metafilter
posted by device55 at 10:14 PM on December 18, 2008


onions dude, onions. take the potato and cut an onion in half and surround the potato with the onion leaves and then the foil. it tastes awesome, all sweet and filled with win. mmmmmm.
posted by roundtablewassquare at 10:29 PM on December 18, 2008


There's value in the instructions: poking holes in your potato is an important step. I've had more than one unimpaled potato explode while baking - it can be a little startling, having a potato go off when you least expect it. Plus, it tends to make dinner guests jittery; one random potato detonation and they suddenly don't want to be the first to cut the butter or take the lid off the soup.

Take note, IanF. Don't be a victim of potato explosions. Poke holes in them before baking. If not for your own sake, then for your guests. Please.
posted by Graygorey at 10:53 PM on December 18, 2008




I also don't know how to make mashed potatoes.

Easy-peasy.

Peel potatoes. Chop into smallish chunks--say, the size of a single square from a Caramilk bar.

Drop into heavily salted water that is at a rolling boil.

When chunks are fork-soft (no resistance to a fork being poked through), drain.

Put back into pot on low heat.

Either: 1) mash with masher, or 2) put through foodmill/ricer.

Then, in order:

Optional: sour cream, roasted garlic, cheese (good aged white cheddar is best imho), horseradish, wasabi, bacon, truffles (or truffle oil), toasted sesame oil.

Add butter to taste (approx 1 tbsp per potato) and milk or cream to desired consistency, stirring. For extra richness, add 1 egg yolk per pound of potatoes. Seriously, the egg yolk adds insane goodness. Add multiple yolks for extra amazingness.

Salt (sea is best) and fresh cracked pepper to taste.
posted by dirtynumbangelboy at 12:41 AM on December 19, 2008


ok, one of my earliest weird childhood memories is of baked potato. The spud was not baked in an oven but in the ashes of the neighbourhood Guy Fawkes bonfire. It was in foil of course and my mum put it in there and some adult male- uncle, neighbour, I dunno - he got it out for me and unwrapped it after a couple of hours. I can still remember how good it smelled and how bland it tasted. But bland is par for the course when you are 4 and have just witnessed the nation-wide ritual immolation of a regicidal Catholic.
posted by evil_esto at 3:21 AM on December 19, 2008


You may scoff at this, but I never could get home fries right until a cartoon cat taught me how.
posted by nicepersonality at 6:35 AM on December 19, 2008


Drop into heavily salted water that is at a rolling boil.

When chunks are fork-soft (no resistance to a fork being poked through), drain.


Drop into cold, heavily salted water. When the water comes to a boil, time it for 10 minutes. Drain. Back on heat for a minute of drying. Mash. Whatever you do, do not attempt to make mashed potatoes in your food processor. It. Does. Not. Work. You will be left with a weird glue. You can make nice, fluffy creamed potatoes in your mixer if you have first mashed them up. Put in mixer, whip with a stream of cream.
posted by Secret Life of Gravy at 6:56 AM on December 19, 2008


Yup, not only lame but a double. Why is it still here?

I didn't really look at all the links, potatoes being a pretty boring subject.

And yet you posted anyway.
posted by languagehat at 7:05 AM on December 19, 2008


Yup, not only lame but a double. Why is it still here?

Because the original post was from over three years ago and very few people flagged it as a double. You suspected maybe a conspiracy?
posted by jessamyn at 7:23 AM on December 19, 2008


Better:
Clean potatoes
Oil potatoes, coat lightly with smoked sea salt
Wrap in foil
Skewer with all-metal butter knife
Place in coals
Wait 75 minutes(add fuel to coals if necessary, turn occasionally)
Cook meat on grill over coals
Remove meat from grill, potatoes from coals
Unwrap potatoes, smash up, season if desired
Consume meat and potatoes
Nap
posted by owtytrof at 7:40 AM on December 19, 2008


I think it's still here because it was posted by a giant metafilter celebrity. It's just a big popularity contest, you know.
posted by Citizen Premier at 7:41 AM on December 19, 2008


You suspected maybe a conspiracy?

No, I assumed the mods were busy and/or sleeping. If you find this an acceptable post, I'm surprised but have no problem with it. I thought the "doubles are OK after a certain period" referred to things that were so cool a new generation of MeFites needed to see them, a standard this (in my mind) did not meet.
posted by languagehat at 7:44 AM on December 19, 2008


This is indeed how to bake a potato; sites like this are needed because some people, including professional cooks in restaurants, still make the abomination that is the foil-wrapped "baked" potato. The foil holds the water in and you end up with steamed potatoes. If you want steamed potatoes that is fine, just don't try to foist them off on me as baked. Although he didn't use Russets as noted above and he needs to use more salt. I sometimes cook mine on a bed of rock salt to really draw out the moisture for a light, fluffy potato.

Also, the corn on the cob guy may have 4 ways to cook corn on the cob, but he left out one of the best.
posted by TedW at 10:08 AM on December 19, 2008 [1 favorite]


Strangely, I actually needed to know how to bake a potato last night. I didn't even think to look on MetaFilter, but instead used the Alton Brown recipe from the Food Network that happens to be exactly the same. What could it all mean?

Anyway, it's a great way to make a potato. I painted the olive oil on with a pastry brush.
posted by 912 Greens at 11:59 AM on December 19, 2008


Your potatoes have now been cleaned and poked.
posted by snofoam at 2:14 PM on December 19, 2008


In my head, I am a contestant on Hell's Kitchen, seeking out the father-figure approval I've always craved.

I remember watching on you-tube the one time that guy served Father... errr... Gordon Ramsey frozen, ready-made gnocchi, and Chef Daddy (stoppitstoppit) Ramsey was all impressed that he had time to prepare fresh gnocci, and was all wroth when he found out it wasn't virginal I mean fresh-made.

So! In this cullinary daydream, I =do= find a way to prepare gnocchi from raw potatoes to pasta in the alotted 45 minutes.

It involves olive oil, a fork, and a high-power microwave. And bacon. Bacon microwave potato gnocchi for Chef Wrinklechin. I mean Daddy. I mean Ramsey.

(Alton Brown's technique of tossing yer spuds in a big bowl full of olive oil, kosher salt and fresh ground pepper works wonders for your baked taters. Which means I want to marry Alton Brown's sister, but only if she looks like him, or that I want to see Alton vs. Gordon in Kitchen Stadium, or at least Chef Miyamoto trading chin-butts with Chef Ramsey.)
posted by Slap*Happy at 7:27 PM on December 19, 2008


"Thanks for visiting my page on how to bake a pototo! I hope it was helpful to you."

Dear god, this is MASSIVELY retarded. Is this a website made for a grade school project?
posted by tehloki at 10:21 PM on December 19, 2008 [1 favorite]


2. To cook pasta, boil water (see above). Add a little salt and oil to water.

No, no oil. Alton says so.
posted by DevilsAdvocate at 6:46 AM on December 20, 2008


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