'Twas the knit before Christmas.
December 19, 2008 5:04 PM Subscribe
I'm loving the surfing jew's (c)han(n)uk(k)a(h) sweater. That's pretty nice.
posted by mrstrotsky at 5:28 PM on December 19, 2008
posted by mrstrotsky at 5:28 PM on December 19, 2008
Just in time for the party!
White people like black people who are as white as them.
posted by gman at 5:43 PM on December 19, 2008
White people like black people who are as white as them.
posted by gman at 5:43 PM on December 19, 2008
Wow, I've seen a lot of bad Christmas sweaters in my time, here in western Ohio, but that suicide bomber lady brought tears (of joy) to my eyes!! Thanks for bringing me some laughs at the time of year I most need them.
posted by artfann at 5:48 PM on December 19, 2008
posted by artfann at 5:48 PM on December 19, 2008
I kind of enjoyed seeing how many christmas symbols I could stack onto each other with the sweater. Reindeer? Wearing a santa hat? and stockings on his feet? and a christmas bub nose? check, check, check and check.
posted by piratebowling at 5:53 PM on December 19, 2008
posted by piratebowling at 5:53 PM on December 19, 2008
Have a Merry Christmas or we’ll shoot this reindeer.
posted by Smedleyman at 5:54 PM on December 19, 2008
posted by Smedleyman at 5:54 PM on December 19, 2008
As my wife and I approach 40, we tease each other that the last remaining sign that we are truly no longer young (having recently succumbed to the minivan) is the Christmas sweater. We don't have any yet ... but I'm threatening to buy/make her an advent sweater, with 25 different little fuzzy ball ornaments that hang from the front. It's a different sweater every day!
posted by jbickers at 6:25 PM on December 19, 2008
posted by jbickers at 6:25 PM on December 19, 2008
Are Christmas sweaters a sub-category of Cosby Sweater*, or a category all its own? Do Christmas versions of gem sweaters exist?
* and by this I do not at all mean the very NSFW definition listed in Urban Dictionary.
posted by Marisa Stole the Precious Thing at 6:47 PM on December 19, 2008
* and by this I do not at all mean the very NSFW definition listed in Urban Dictionary.
posted by Marisa Stole the Precious Thing at 6:47 PM on December 19, 2008
I've been looking for the right Christmas sweater for years, and I'm afraid I won't find one before I'm really old enough to wear one without irony.
Not that I give a shit about irony. I'm already too old to have my coolness defined by what I wear, thank god.
In sum, I like Christmas sweaters.
posted by padraigin at 6:52 PM on December 19, 2008 [1 favorite]
Not that I give a shit about irony. I'm already too old to have my coolness defined by what I wear, thank god.
In sum, I like Christmas sweaters.
posted by padraigin at 6:52 PM on December 19, 2008 [1 favorite]
As my wife and I approach 40, we tease each other that the last remaining sign that we are truly no longer young (having recently succumbed to the minivan)
I have just reached 40 but I can say with a burning, stinging certainty from the core of my being that any minivan purchased by my family will be fueled by the sad, angry, distilled oils from my dead flesh and not before.
posted by chococat at 7:54 PM on December 19, 2008 [1 favorite]
I have just reached 40 but I can say with a burning, stinging certainty from the core of my being that any minivan purchased by my family will be fueled by the sad, angry, distilled oils from my dead flesh and not before.
posted by chococat at 7:54 PM on December 19, 2008 [1 favorite]
I have just reached 40 but I can say with a burning, stinging certainty from the core of my being that any minivan purchased by my family will be fueled by the sad, angry, distilled oils from my dead flesh and not before.
Another thing that doesn't define your coolness: what you drive. It's a hard thing to come around to, though: I am at peak coolness, so I might as well be comfortable on a 16-hour road trip.
Now, if I put antlers and a red nose on my minivan, you all have permission to come to my house and intervene.
posted by padraigin at 8:26 PM on December 19, 2008 [1 favorite]
Whenver I get too overjoyed about Christmas Sweaters, I stop and remember, It's all about the tree
posted by The Whelk at 8:53 PM on December 19, 2008
posted by The Whelk at 8:53 PM on December 19, 2008
So. Bad is the new good. Great.
I like Christmas, and I like Trees and Presents, but if I ever wear a Christmas Sweater or give someone a Christmas Sweater, please just take me out to the back yard and shoot me. My corpse will maybe rejuvenate our troubled cherry tree.
posted by kozad at 9:10 PM on December 19, 2008
I like Christmas, and I like Trees and Presents, but if I ever wear a Christmas Sweater or give someone a Christmas Sweater, please just take me out to the back yard and shoot me. My corpse will maybe rejuvenate our troubled cherry tree.
posted by kozad at 9:10 PM on December 19, 2008
Another thing that doesn't define your coolness: what you drive.
Nothing to do with cool, minivans are just gross. Sorry. I couldn't care less about cool cars.
But during the rare times we are driving, (long distances, etc.,) driving behind a minivan is, for me, akin to driving behind a giant, gluttonous ass, complete with fold-down DVD players.
I would kneel down and start to cry if I had to drive one. Like someone was forcing me to be a really bad version of my dad.
posted by chococat at 10:14 PM on December 19, 2008
Nothing to do with cool, minivans are just gross. Sorry. I couldn't care less about cool cars.
But during the rare times we are driving, (long distances, etc.,) driving behind a minivan is, for me, akin to driving behind a giant, gluttonous ass, complete with fold-down DVD players.
I would kneel down and start to cry if I had to drive one. Like someone was forcing me to be a really bad version of my dad.
posted by chococat at 10:14 PM on December 19, 2008
Did you ever notice that the word "sweater" itself is kind of tacky, implying clothing that you, well, sweat in?
posted by telstar at 3:38 AM on December 20, 2008
posted by telstar at 3:38 AM on December 20, 2008
This is one of my favorites-- how do you even wear this thing without bumping into people or knocking stuff over?
Red Stapler ran a contest for the ugliest holiday sweater and here are the results.
posted by Secret Life of Gravy at 7:01 AM on December 20, 2008
Red Stapler ran a contest for the ugliest holiday sweater and here are the results.
posted by Secret Life of Gravy at 7:01 AM on December 20, 2008
The rule for wearing Christmas sweaters is that if you're old enough to have stopped growing and therefore won't fit into the sweater for at least the next three Christmasses, you're too old to wear one. And if you are still growing, you won't get enough wear out of it for it not to be a waste.
In other words, no Christmas sweaters.
I found a lovely bracelet at Value Village last summer. It's made of little ovals joined together, and on each oval is a depiction of a Victorian Christmas scene. And it was only $2 or $3. My only hesitation about buying it is that I was afraid that Christmas jewelry was the beginning of a slippery slope and that, the next thing I knew, I'd find myself wearing a sequinned pink reindeer sweatshirt. At 35 I have to be on the watch for creeping middle aged frump. But I took the chance and bought the bracelet. So far I've remained firm on my no-Christmas sweater compromise. I'd maybe knit myself a sweater with snowflakes on it sometime, but that's as far as it will go.
posted by orange swan at 9:57 AM on December 20, 2008
In other words, no Christmas sweaters.
I found a lovely bracelet at Value Village last summer. It's made of little ovals joined together, and on each oval is a depiction of a Victorian Christmas scene. And it was only $2 or $3. My only hesitation about buying it is that I was afraid that Christmas jewelry was the beginning of a slippery slope and that, the next thing I knew, I'd find myself wearing a sequinned pink reindeer sweatshirt. At 35 I have to be on the watch for creeping middle aged frump. But I took the chance and bought the bracelet. So far I've remained firm on my no-Christmas sweater compromise. I'd maybe knit myself a sweater with snowflakes on it sometime, but that's as far as it will go.
posted by orange swan at 9:57 AM on December 20, 2008
Fuck!! I screwed up on my correction of my screw ups. Time to leave the egg nog alone, Swan.
"therefore will fit into the sweater for at least the next three Christmasses" and "I've remained firm on my no-Christmas sweater stance."
posted by orange swan at 10:04 AM on December 20, 2008
"therefore will fit into the sweater for at least the next three Christmasses" and "I've remained firm on my no-Christmas sweater stance."
posted by orange swan at 10:04 AM on December 20, 2008
This year, Canada Post has a contest where you can win a "Hideous Holiday Sweater" (or a vacation package), in their "Great Holiday Sweater Re-Gift" promotion -- tacky but fun!
posted by Jade Dragon at 4:46 PM on December 21, 2008
posted by Jade Dragon at 4:46 PM on December 21, 2008
I can't help but wonder: is a holiday sweater automatically ugly because it is a holiday sweater? Is there a roundup of non-ugly sweaters in existence?
For the record: I gave up the holiday sweater wearing years and years ago, but it occurred to me to ask...
posted by jenfullmoon at 1:24 PM on December 22, 2008
For the record: I gave up the holiday sweater wearing years and years ago, but it occurred to me to ask...
posted by jenfullmoon at 1:24 PM on December 22, 2008
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posted by lunit at 5:28 PM on December 19, 2008