Santa Job

December 21, 2008 8:14 AM

Maybe you didn't get into the oldest Santa Claus School for an elite education. So you considered schools in other places. But being Santa Claus is something you can learn on your own. It's just a matter of learning how to dress and act. If you can handle the hours, the job insecurity, the union, the corporate pressure, and the customer relations, you may just find a jolly career.
posted by twoleftfeet (13 comments total)

Looks like the "Union" is in a bit of a dispute.
posted by Ironmouth at 9:01 AM on December 21, 2008

But... but... isn't Santa real?
posted by woodway at 9:04 AM on December 21, 2008

woodway, those are Santa's helpers. Haven't your parents prepared you for the real world? Oh, you're an orphan child? I hear Santa doesn't have time for orphans. I'm really sorry, maybe try writing to Kwanzabot, er Kwanza Bot, who has a questionable taste in friends.

Some of those pictures show kids being rightfully scared. And others are quite well captioned.

But maybe those helpers of Santa were trained by Dean Thomas F, Valent. His picture is captioned: Tom Valent instructing Santas as an elf looks out from the head of a 9' tall nutcracker. Apparently Dean Valent has elves who know when you've been naughty.
posted by filthy light thief at 9:16 AM on December 21, 2008

It's just a matter of learning how to dress and act. He's also for hire.

"On Moische! On Herschel! On Schlomo!
It's Hanukkah Harry 8 nights a year!
On Moische! On Herschel! On Schlomo!
Means that Hanukkah Harry is here!
Delivering Toys for Jewish girls and Jewish boys
We dance the horah around the menorah
When Hanukkah Harry is Here!"
posted by gman at 9:25 AM on December 21, 2008

Looks like the "Union" is in a bit of a dispute.

Fighting Santas. Fighting Santas. Many Santas fighting many Santas.

Mommy, why can't the Santas stop hurting each other?
posted by twoleftfeet at 9:27 AM on December 21, 2008

Another job liability - the advertising execs: The Santa Sessions.
posted by madamjujujive at 9:37 AM on December 21, 2008 [1 favorite]

To be fair to the scary Santas, they might be emulating more of the Father Christmas on the Christmas Goat look, than Jolly Saint Nick.
posted by filthy light thief at 9:44 AM on December 21, 2008

And others are quite well captioned.

Clearly the kid in the yellow shirt is the evil one. He probably told the other kid that Santa doesn't exist or the ending to the crying game.
posted by stavrogin at 10:07 AM on December 21, 2008

Santa, Schmanta. He sits there in the sleigh twiddling his thumbs while the proles do all the real work.
posted by FelliniBlank at 12:42 PM on December 21, 2008

Been a Santa before. In fact a Santa requested to return multiple times. There is one perk to the job. Exactly one. Hot mommies with scared kids. Of course, in order to get the kiddies to stop crying, mommy needs to hold them on their lap, which means...
posted by Samizdata at 3:06 PM on December 21, 2008 [1 favorite]

Samizdata, that is just sick.


(you win the thread)
posted by nax at 6:13 PM on December 21, 2008

Do I win the internet?
posted by Samizdata at 9:18 PM on December 21, 2008

Santa Claus Family Tree.
posted by gman at 10:45 AM on December 22, 2008