The Great Cornholio's more literate sibling

December 27, 2008 1:41 PM

The Caffeine Examiner will review any product containing caffeine. For example: chewing gum, sprays, energy drinks, soft drinks, hard drinks, perplexingly hard drinks, patches...? The sidebar on the right points to reviews of more caffeinated products than I had ever dreamed existed. Products are also rated by taste, packaging, nutrition/buzz, and website functionality. [via]
posted by not_on_display (16 comments total)

We sell these Jelly Belly Sport Beans with caffeine in our sporting goods store. It's no wonder the tweens are always bouncing off the walls.
posted by netbros at 3:06 PM on December 27, 2008

Someday far in the future, people will see photos of our cities and say "ah yes, the caffeine era."
posted by telstar at 3:53 PM on December 27, 2008 [1 favorite]

Sport Beans: Power When You Need It Most!
posted by Horace Rumpole at 3:53 PM on December 27, 2008 [1 favorite]

I didn't find a review for Water Joe, but I was happy to see the Pit Bull Energy Bar. Although I still can't decide if most energy bars taste better or worse than a fist full of coffee beans.
posted by Marisa Stole the Precious Thing at 4:27 PM on December 27, 2008

Reading that website is gonna keep me awake all night!
posted by Greg_Ace at 5:53 PM on December 27, 2008

You know I just came across this article about Modafinil, which sounds like a cross between soma and speed. A new caffeine alternative?
posted by nickyskye at 6:13 PM on December 27, 2008

What, no Showershock Soap?

Theoretically, the caffeinated soap should work, but I want some firsthand experience before I shell out money for it (just because I'm cheap and Thinkgeek is overpriced and their shipping to Canada sucks).
posted by porpoise at 6:22 PM on December 27, 2008

A Seattle caffiene site that doesn't know about Penguins?

We give these out as stocking stuffers every year.
posted by Clave at 6:35 PM on December 27, 2008

Clave: A Seattle caffiene site...

Actually, I think the site just grabs your IP address and makes all of examiner.com reflect your area. I was able to switch cities at will; but I couldn't find "Big Red Boots"es profile to see where he was from. I'm sure some of these off-brands are sold very regionally.
posted by not_on_display at 6:52 PM on December 27, 2008

Penguins rock.

And some friends and I made coffee--badass megastrong coffee to begin with--with Water Joe. I think we were actually vibrating from the caffeine.

Ah, memories.
posted by dirtynumbangelboy at 7:48 PM on December 27, 2008

Thanks, NOD -- makes sense.

Those Penguins made me something of a rock star among the rest of the jury during an *intensely* dull and prolonged civil trial some years back.
posted by Clave at 7:58 PM on December 27, 2008 [1 favorite]

I'm pissed. Someone beat me to making caffeinated oatmeal.
posted by Kickstart70 at 8:39 AM on December 28, 2008

No Spazzstick caffeinated lip balm?! Bah! Utterly worthless.
posted by The Whelk at 10:08 AM on December 28, 2008

Penguin mints keep me from killing people during long meetings. When I pass them around, I'm actually temporarily popular, despite being one of the evil people from Systems who is keeping them from doing their jobs.

At Penguicon, a wonderful SF/Linux con in Michigan, they make coffee with Water Joe, have Penguin mints and gun out, make ice cream with caffeinated syrup and, generally, have many caffeine delivery systems in the con suites.

Forget the Flying Spaghetti Monster, all hail the great goddess Caffeina!
posted by QIbHom at 1:20 PM on December 28, 2008

Maybe he had reason to be a little excited: Energy Fiend has a concise guide to alkaloid expiry....

And apparently there is a caffeine goddess.
posted by Kronos_to_Earth at 2:29 PM on December 28, 2008 [1 favorite]

I expect Irish Coffee is next on the Mormons' list of marriages to outlaw.
posted by Sys Rq at 7:05 PM on December 28, 2008