Tentacle Grape!

December 30, 2008 10:16 PM

Here's the soft drink you've been waiting for! Tentacle Grape!
posted by Class Goat (14 comments total)

Apparently I will still be waiting as I can only preorder it.
posted by silkygreenbelly at 10:23 PM on December 30, 2008

Yes. Thank you, naive human. Now, I can finish taking over the world!
posted by Tenuki at 10:24 PM on December 30, 2008

Soon to be available, Child Sex Slave Cherry and Dr. Forced Sodomy In Prison That Gives You HIV With Lime.
posted by stavrogin at 10:26 PM on December 30, 2008 [2 favorites]

Tentacle Grape is now available... so WATCH OUT! You gonna get GRAPED!

Now that's a pun I never thought I'd see on an advertisement.
posted by krinklyfig at 10:26 PM on December 30, 2008 [1 favorite]

Thought the post was about this purple tentacle.
posted by infinitewindow at 10:33 PM on December 30, 2008

This is.... very silly. I laughed, having friends who would no doubt order this.
posted by Night_owl at 10:33 PM on December 30, 2008

When are they going to make the tentacle porn with a creature that doesn't have so many tentacles? I mean, since the arousal comes from the ascription of supernatural and literally fantastic sensory capability to the tentacles, as they push, probe and plunge deep into the diverse and exiting habitats of the quivering vagina, anxious anus, and shrieking, moaning, slavering mouth, just below impossibly pleading eyes, windows to the soul that show the greatest pleasure is total bodily submission into unconscious internalized overload, visibly filling and enlarging each, you'd think the fact that sight of those extra, airy tentacles, any that aren't used to grasp flesh, and of course more than three or four devoted to bondage purposes yield diminishing returns, flailing around without applying themselves to rape, dilute and decrease my arousal. I need a optimized writhing tentacle visibility to inserted probative victim-overpowering tentacle length ratio for the most pleasurable direct identification between my sex organs and the tentacles. And please, no face on the creature to attract my scrutiny.

what
posted by Ambrosia Voyeur at 10:34 PM on December 30, 2008 [3 favorites]

I am simultaneously horrified and delighted that this exists. But why stop at just grape, when you could have other exciting flavors such as Urotsukidoji Orange or La Blue Girl Blue Raspberry?
posted by DecemberBoy at 10:37 PM on December 30, 2008

Or Yaoi Cream Soda.
posted by ten pounds of inedita at 10:43 PM on December 30, 2008

This maybe could have been more funny or more erotic, but Rape-sy Blue? I guess I'm not otaku enough.

Then again, I laughed at the MILF joke in the last episode of Pushing Daisies so I can't exactly cast stones here.
posted by BrotherCaine at 10:51 PM on December 30, 2008

Ha, ha, it's funny because it's about implied child-rape. Ha. Ha. Maybe we get a bear to deliver a case to Scooter Libby. Ha. Ha.
posted by orthogonality at 10:55 PM on December 30, 2008 [1 favorite]

Needs more haiku
posted by b1tr0t at 10:58 PM on December 30, 2008

No one's made a mention of pepsi blue? I can't believe you guys...
posted by hellojed at 11:01 PM on December 30, 2008

Pepsi... grape?

what

*backs away slowly, seeking shelter and possibly a machete, a shotgun, bunch of bananas or perhaps a large salami and cheese log gift box assortment wrapped in a giant squid for self-defense purposes*
posted by loquacious at 11:15 PM on December 30, 2008