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Deliberately Inaccurate 2009 Calendar
January 10, 2009 9:37 AM   Subscribe

Deliberately Inaccurate 2009 Calendar [via]
posted by alby (54 comments total) 5 users marked this as a favorite

 
Every calendar is like this to me. I have a hard time keeping track of things like my own birthday. Or what date Halloween falls on this year. What day of the week I'm on. Or even what year I am in.

I don't mind though. I'm used to living this way. I imagine it's like how the colorblind think of color.
posted by cjorgensen at 9:41 AM on January 10, 2009 [4 favorites]


Calypso Windsmash is early this year.
posted by WPW at 9:43 AM on January 10, 2009 [2 favorites]


I thought August 12th was Punch A Horse in the Face Day?
posted by nitsuj at 9:49 AM on January 10, 2009


Friday the thirteenth falls on a Tuesday this month!
posted by Johnny Assay at 9:50 AM on January 10, 2009 [2 favorites]


January 11 is Dog Day in Japan (WAN WAN WAN)
February 22 is Cat Dat (Nya Nya Nya)
posted by KokuRyu at 9:51 AM on January 10, 2009 [1 favorite]


Lousy Smarch weather.
posted by ALongDecember at 9:51 AM on January 10, 2009 [3 favorites]


nitsuj: Here, it's Punch A Horse in the Face Day all year!

Fuck you, horses!
posted by aubilenon at 9:52 AM on January 10, 2009 [6 favorites]


Brrr..... lousy Smarch weather
posted by The Whelk at 10:10 AM on January 10, 2009


I owe ALongDecember a coke. And a punch in the metaphorical dick.
posted by The Whelk at 10:26 AM on January 10, 2009


Did I miss something, or is this really a pdf I have to download before any of the funny is revealed?
posted by donnagirl at 10:27 AM on January 10, 2009


Even if you download the .pdf it's not really so funny.
posted by fixedgear at 10:28 AM on January 10, 2009 [14 favorites]


I see the weeks all start on Monday.

Last year, I got into a conversation with a Russian pipe fitter I work with. Since my knowledge of Russian history is limited, I'm only able to bring up the names of some of the more famous Russians. I mentioned Mendeleev.

He told me something I didn't know, which was that Mendeleev had been responsible for the standardization of alcohol percentages in vodka. Amazingly, my fitter friend had a Russian calendar pinned to a wood wall that celebrated a different brand of Russian vodka each month.

Indeed, the weeks on this calendar all began on Monday.
posted by Tube at 10:30 AM on January 10, 2009


I got a bit giddy when I noticed that November 8th is Day of the Tentacle.
posted by The Great Big Mulp at 10:32 AM on January 10, 2009 [1 favorite]


"Daniel Day (Lewis)" is in no way funny. So it probably doesn't speak well of me that I found it funny.
posted by Uppity Pigeon #2 at 10:33 AM on January 10, 2009 [2 favorites]


(And I'm totally going to celebrate it, too.)
posted by The Great Big Mulp at 10:33 AM on January 10, 2009


I see the weeks all start on Monday.

It's a UK, Canadian, Australian, etc, thing.
posted by niles at 10:53 AM on January 10, 2009


Indeed, the weeks on this calendar all began on Monday.

This is not uncommon on European calendars. A colleague in Russia sends me baroque calendars each year, which are both more entertaining and more useful than the one in the FPP (sorry, alby) in my view. The calendar (which is entirely in Russian, of course) is about four times as tall as wide and has three separate 12-month pads aligned one above the other. The top one covers December to November; the second one January through December; and the third, February through January. I gather the idea is that you use the middle one as the main one but are able to see last month and next month at a glance. What with the weeks beginning on Monday and everything indicated in Cyrillic, it is a triumph of minimal utility.

Helpfully, each holiday is marked in red. I intend to take February 23 off, even if I do not fully understand why.
posted by ricochet biscuit at 10:54 AM on January 10, 2009 [2 favorites]


It's a UK, Canadian, Australian, etc, thing.

niles, [citation needed].

I assure you, Canadian calendars start the week on Sunday.
posted by ricochet biscuit at 10:57 AM on January 10, 2009 [1 favorite]


I intend to take February 23 off, even if I do not fully understand why.

Why, to celebrate Terminalia, of course! It's a great day to drink a lot of beer and mark your territory.
posted by Floydd at 11:03 AM on January 10, 2009


I'm a fan of "Half-Advent," myself.
posted by Navelgazer at 11:05 AM on January 10, 2009


Well if The Lord rested on the 7th day, and Christians celebrate that as Sunday, then the week starts for them on Monday. This starting the week on Sunday is just a Jewish conspiracy.
posted by MtDewd at 11:08 AM on January 10, 2009


Pah, no calendar is complete without the month of Octember.

Also: Good Friday twice? What about BAD FRIDAY? (Really, I wonder that every year. What ABOUT Bad Friday?)
posted by grapefruitmoon at 11:09 AM on January 10, 2009 [1 favorite]


I must be sleep deprived. My brain tells me this isn't really funny, and yet I keep laughing.
posted by Pater Aletheias at 11:24 AM on January 10, 2009


Early this year some colleagues and I were coming up with ridiculously unrealistic delivery dates for various part of a project we were working on. We decided most of them fell in the month of Mocktober.
posted by Lentrohamsanin at 11:27 AM on January 10, 2009 [1 favorite]


Uh... Good Friday kind of is Bad Friday, in a certain sense. It's the day we killed God.

Good thing he came back! Ha ha! Ha. heh.
posted by Baby_Balrog at 11:28 AM on January 10, 2009 [3 favorites]


Also: Good Friday twice? What about BAD FRIDAY? (Really, I wonder that every year. What ABOUT Bad Friday?)

Bad Friday is a floating day. It immediately precedes any Saturday that you have to work.
posted by mandal at 11:28 AM on January 10, 2009 [3 favorites]


There should be more Bank LOLidays.
posted by brundlefly at 11:32 AM on January 10, 2009


Where did my birthday go?!
posted by The Whelk at 11:33 AM on January 10, 2009


Imagine the sheepish grin of amusement and relief on your best friend's face when he realizes--after missing his tax deadline, Mother's day, his son's graduation, and his wedding anniversary--that he doesn't have Alzheimer's disease after all.
posted by weapons-grade pandemonium at 11:38 AM on January 10, 2009


No; Daniel Day (Lewis) was in fact the only funny joke in the thing. Congratulations to you for catching it.
posted by yhbc at 12:00 PM on January 10, 2009


I loved this.

But then I'm also a big fan of those maps where every other street name is delightfully, rebelliously switched, Cut'N'Corners contact lenses with a corner cut out, Can't Touch This novelty watches that stop! HAMMERTIME at random intervals, and those hilarious condoms with the tiny fun-sized holes!
posted by goodnewsfortheinsane at 12:08 PM on January 10, 2009


Good Friday twice? What about BAD FRIDAY?

BAD FRIDAY CELEBRATED ON BIZARRO WORLD.

(or is that NOT CELEBRATED? Damn, I could never get the grammar straight.)
posted by PlusDistance at 12:25 PM on January 10, 2009


Caturday, Smarch Threventh, 20X6
posted by Rhaomi at 12:42 PM on January 10, 2009


Lousy Smarch weather.
posted by Pope Guilty at 1:21 PM on January 10, 2009


Of course weeks start on Monday! Think about it - what days make up the weekend? Does it make any sense at all to have the week begin on the weekend?
posted by Kirth Gerson at 1:35 PM on January 10, 2009 [1 favorite]


I think I missed the point.

Maybe I should go back to bed.
posted by chairish at 1:36 PM on January 10, 2009


Thank God for that calendar. I always forget when Alzheimer's Day is.
posted by miss lynnster at 1:41 PM on January 10, 2009


But Kirth, you don't put both bookends on the far side of the shelf, do you? If you did all your books on the other side would fall off. Same with the weekends. If we didn't have a weekend on both sides of the week then Monday might fall off.

But since god clearly rested on the seventh day, and so many faiths believe that this is Sunday, then the only way to save the week is to make Monday a weekend.

**********

I'm assuming that you all already shared the funny parts and that I don't have to actually open the pdf.
posted by kanewai at 1:53 PM on January 10, 2009


Lousy Smarch weather.

Lousy echo!






Lousy echo!
posted by Dark Messiah at 2:00 PM on January 10, 2009


The actual Calendar of Saints are chock-full if interesting days and things to celebrate. Here's another handy reference of a very full year of saints, in case you want to take some day off as a holiday, or you're looking to name a child or pet born on a certain day.

For more variety, Girls Are Pretty Forever had started naming each day, but stopped back on July 16, 2008. A friend of mine carried it on, starting with September.
posted by filthy light thief at 2:22 PM on January 10, 2009


It's a UK, Canadian, Australian, etc, thing.

niles, [citation needed].

I assure you, Canadian calendars start the week on Sunday.


Calendars in Australia start with Sunday too. Although in conversation, the week does start on Monday. This Saturday and Sunday are definitely part of "this" week.
posted by bystander at 2:45 PM on January 10, 2009


I like how this starts off subtly to lull people into acceptance and gets wierder as the months pass.

But they missed eat a tuna sandwich day and look under the couch day.
posted by longsleeves at 2:45 PM on January 10, 2009


If we didn't have a weekend on both sides of the week then Monday might fall off.

Like that's a bad thing?
posted by Kirth Gerson at 4:01 PM on January 10, 2009


It's always Peripheral Equinox.
posted by Burhanistan at 4:51 PM on January 10, 2009


Well, Wikipedia said "most". You two obviously buy your calendars at the wrong stores.
posted by niles at 5:44 PM on January 10, 2009


It's a British calendar - you can tell because they bother to specify that Thanksgiving (July 4) is in the US & Canada (Americans always leave that out, and never mention Canada), have Whit Sunday as a holiday and call a bank holiday a bank holiday (does anyone else?), and there is also a joke about Wales, and only the Brits even remember to make jokes about Wales.
posted by jb at 7:36 PM on January 10, 2009


When is Daniel Day (Kim)?
posted by lou at 8:14 PM on January 10, 2009


People who put Sunday as the first day in a calendar understand neither Genesis nor the concept of a "weekend." Monday first makes more sense and is easier to use, IME.
posted by rokusan at 5:33 AM on January 11, 2009


My calendars have always started with a Monday. Admittedly, so far I have been limited to student diaries, but I expect all calendars I use in the future to start on a Monday as well. How else are you supposed to scrawl BEACH or SOCCER FINALS or SLEEP across the whole weekend? Put half on one page and half on the next? Rubbish.
posted by jacalata at 6:26 AM on January 11, 2009


One word: meh.
posted by marmaduke_yaverland at 10:28 AM on January 11, 2009


I was hating it until I got to September 25th: Soup of the Day (Tomato and Basil). Is there a soup of the day calender? There should be.
posted by minifigs at 4:13 PM on January 11, 2009


I know this is a late comment, but my work schedule at Starbucks is from Monday to Sunday, so something about whoever wrote that scheduling software.
posted by zorrine at 7:23 PM on January 11, 2009


I just hung that up in public. I bet nobody notices it all year, somehow.
posted by jenfullmoon at 10:44 AM on January 13, 2009


I hung one up in my office area on Monday.
On Tuesday, my boss was looking at it to plan her vacation.
Hope she double-checks...
posted by MtDewd at 10:18 AM on January 14, 2009


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