there's simply not enough cyanide
January 21, 2009 3:23 PM Subscribe
Easy access to the internet and simplified technology for recording songs and videos might do great things for the future of pop music. Or it might be like this.
Terrified responses abound.
bonus reply from "PhatJ", possible musician
Happily Brokencyde isn't the only product of the genre bending, often tongue-in-cheek mashup genre of Electrascreemorap. I Set My Friends On Fire might be a viable antidote, unless the poison has already spread too far!
Terrified responses abound.
bonus reply from "PhatJ", possible musician
Happily Brokencyde isn't the only product of the genre bending, often tongue-in-cheek mashup genre of Electrascreemorap. I Set My Friends On Fire might be a viable antidote, unless the poison has already spread too far!
I'd like to say "your favorite band sucks," but is this anyone's favorite band? (Top Ten Nominations count.) Speak up now or forever hold your piece of crap to yourself.
posted by kozad at 3:31 PM on January 21, 2009
posted by kozad at 3:31 PM on January 21, 2009
Easy access to the internet and simplified technology for recording songs and videos might do great things for the future of pop music. Or it might be like this.
Or, even worse, like this. [via]
posted by dersins at 3:31 PM on January 21, 2009 [1 favorite]
Or, even worse, like this. [via]
posted by dersins at 3:31 PM on January 21, 2009 [1 favorite]
When there's nothing left to burn/you have to set yourself on fire.
or, possibly, yes, set those guys on fire instead.
posted by GuyZero at 3:33 PM on January 21, 2009 [1 favorite]
or, possibly, yes, set those guys on fire instead.
posted by GuyZero at 3:33 PM on January 21, 2009 [1 favorite]
LETSGETFREAKYLETSGETFUKKINFREAKYNOWA;LA;SLDKJF;LASKJDF;LAKJSDFKASD!
...ahem. I feel changed somehow.
posted by Lipstick Thespian at 3:35 PM on January 21, 2009
...ahem. I feel changed somehow.
posted by Lipstick Thespian at 3:35 PM on January 21, 2009
What the fuck.
posted by chugg at 3:36 PM on January 21, 2009 [1 favorite]
posted by chugg at 3:36 PM on January 21, 2009 [1 favorite]
I don't understand. They had someone in a pig suit. Why did they need all those other silly looking people?
posted by flapjax at midnite at 3:37 PM on January 21, 2009 [1 favorite]
posted by flapjax at midnite at 3:37 PM on January 21, 2009 [1 favorite]
Watching this video accelerated my aging process. Seriously, my muscles started losing mass, the mineral content of my bones decreased, cartilage started breaking down, my brain was losing neurons and various cells were dying off by the millions.
If I hadn't clicked away before it ended I'd be dead by now.
posted by The Card Cheat at 3:39 PM on January 21, 2009 [10 favorites]
If I hadn't clicked away before it ended I'd be dead by now.
posted by The Card Cheat at 3:39 PM on January 21, 2009 [10 favorites]
Watching this video accelerated my aging process.
I think they filmed the video ON YOUR LAWN.
posted by GuyZero at 3:40 PM on January 21, 2009 [16 favorites]
I think they filmed the video ON YOUR LAWN.
posted by GuyZero at 3:40 PM on January 21, 2009 [16 favorites]
Phew. The end of rap. Finally.
posted by Faze at 3:42 PM on January 21, 2009 [1 favorite]
posted by Faze at 3:42 PM on January 21, 2009 [1 favorite]
I am ashamed to live in the same city as these guys.
posted by signalnine at 3:43 PM on January 21, 2009 [1 favorite]
posted by signalnine at 3:43 PM on January 21, 2009 [1 favorite]
proof that bleached hair causes brain damage
posted by genmonster at 3:44 PM on January 21, 2009
posted by genmonster at 3:44 PM on January 21, 2009
Just realized most people might not make it past 0:12 so I've put together a compilation of the most interesting parts with Splicd for your consideration.
Choking the models is more annoying than sexy.
It's better than choking on "Apple Juice" tho.
Words+Handgestures= Rapping
Why is there a pig here?
Someone's breath stinks.
Just, everything about this sequence. Words fail.
In Conclusion
posted by Potomac Avenue at 3:45 PM on January 21, 2009
Choking the models is more annoying than sexy.
It's better than choking on "Apple Juice" tho.
Words+Handgestures= Rapping
Why is there a pig here?
Someone's breath stinks.
Just, everything about this sequence. Words fail.
In Conclusion
posted by Potomac Avenue at 3:45 PM on January 21, 2009
There's not enough vanilla.
I miss the good old days of Milli Vanilli and Vanilla Ice. They seem so lovable in hindsight.
posted by Dumsnill at 3:46 PM on January 21, 2009
I miss the good old days of Milli Vanilli and Vanilla Ice. They seem so lovable in hindsight.
posted by Dumsnill at 3:46 PM on January 21, 2009
> I miss the good old days of Milli Vanilli and Vanilla Ice.
That's probably the most damning thing anyone could say about...well, any piece of music, really, but the comment by "Justin McSheen is right on, too:
"This is simply abysmal. If this video had a face, I would punch it in the balls."
posted by you just lost the game at 3:53 PM on January 21, 2009 [9 favorites]
That's probably the most damning thing anyone could say about...well, any piece of music, really, but the comment by "Justin McSheen is right on, too:
"This is simply abysmal. If this video had a face, I would punch it in the balls."
posted by you just lost the game at 3:53 PM on January 21, 2009 [9 favorites]
The Next Great Depression can't come soon enough.
posted by Stonewall Jackson at 3:54 PM on January 21, 2009
posted by Stonewall Jackson at 3:54 PM on January 21, 2009
> I think they filmed the video ON YOUR LAWN.
I doubt it. I have a gun.
posted by The Card Cheat at 3:59 PM on January 21, 2009
I doubt it. I have a gun.
posted by The Card Cheat at 3:59 PM on January 21, 2009
It's actually quite a catchy use of Songsmith. Megakudos, Microsoft!
posted by Blazecock Pileon at 4:01 PM on January 21, 2009
posted by Blazecock Pileon at 4:01 PM on January 21, 2009
Okay, so that was bad. But it wasn't that bad. I fail to see how this is somehow pushing the boundaries of crap. They've already been pushed.
posted by seagull.apollo at 4:01 PM on January 21, 2009
posted by seagull.apollo at 4:01 PM on January 21, 2009
SEXYSEXXX MHRAAAAAAAAOOOOOGHHHH
Grammy, please.
posted by Rhaomi at 4:04 PM on January 21, 2009 [1 favorite]
Grammy, please.
posted by Rhaomi at 4:04 PM on January 21, 2009 [1 favorite]
I think they filmed the video ON YOUR LAWN.
It's funny you say that, because I was thinking "Well, would you prefer they were panhandling outside a convenience store?"
The black girl in the toga was cute. And I laughed when the "YEOWW!!" guy came in again at the end. Just give him a big clock to wear around his neck and he may be able to make a career out of it.
posted by Joe Beese at 4:04 PM on January 21, 2009
It's funny you say that, because I was thinking "Well, would you prefer they were panhandling outside a convenience store?"
The black girl in the toga was cute. And I laughed when the "YEOWW!!" guy came in again at the end. Just give him a big clock to wear around his neck and he may be able to make a career out of it.
posted by Joe Beese at 4:04 PM on January 21, 2009
I was wondering what happened to the Icy Hot Stuntaz.
posted by horsemuth at 4:08 PM on January 21, 2009 [2 favorites]
posted by horsemuth at 4:08 PM on January 21, 2009 [2 favorites]
I like how at 3:09 they you think they are fading to end, but then they come back for another 30 seconds of crap.
I watched this much so you don't have to. Although it is noteworthy how they managed to make a whole group of otherwise fairly attractive people very unattractive.
posted by meinvt at 4:09 PM on January 21, 2009
I watched this much so you don't have to. Although it is noteworthy how they managed to make a whole group of otherwise fairly attractive people very unattractive.
posted by meinvt at 4:09 PM on January 21, 2009
I've been staring at the screen wide-eyed and unsure how to perform basic bodily functions since I watched that to its conclusion.
I mean,, what... was... that?
Why was that filmed? why did they scream and try to choke the blonde girl? why was that song worse than the "instant deletes" of my garageband attempts. What's with the acne? Why did someone spend so much time on that? Sure it's no money or whatever but there was enough editing in there to constitute a "waste of time" right?
I'm just.. I ... I don't know... confused.
I think I need some water.
posted by Lacking Subtlety at 4:10 PM on January 21, 2009
I mean,, what... was... that?
Why was that filmed? why did they scream and try to choke the blonde girl? why was that song worse than the "instant deletes" of my garageband attempts. What's with the acne? Why did someone spend so much time on that? Sure it's no money or whatever but there was enough editing in there to constitute a "waste of time" right?
I'm just.. I ... I don't know... confused.
I think I need some water.
posted by Lacking Subtlety at 4:10 PM on January 21, 2009
Please, this band is 10X better than Pretty Flowers.
posted by eyeballkid at 4:12 PM on January 21, 2009 [1 favorite]
posted by eyeballkid at 4:12 PM on January 21, 2009 [1 favorite]
Is this something I'd have to be a horny drunk misogynist to understand?
posted by silby at 4:12 PM on January 21, 2009 [1 favorite]
posted by silby at 4:12 PM on January 21, 2009 [1 favorite]
According to their myspace page, they've got a pretty intense touring schedule. I'm kind of tempted to go to their show just to see who else shows up.
posted by hapticactionnetwork at 4:13 PM on January 21, 2009 [3 favorites]
posted by hapticactionnetwork at 4:13 PM on January 21, 2009 [3 favorites]
Do not want.
posted by ZaneJ. at 4:14 PM on January 21, 2009 [3 favorites]
posted by ZaneJ. at 4:14 PM on January 21, 2009 [3 favorites]
Why does this Big Mac taste like hair product?
posted by It's Raining Florence Henderson at 4:14 PM on January 21, 2009 [1 favorite]
posted by It's Raining Florence Henderson at 4:14 PM on January 21, 2009 [1 favorite]
After the first 5 seconds I was ready to declare this the worst thing ever, but they won me over. I don't really care if they are serious or not, but functioning as parody of both terrible screamo vocals and terrible ProTools pop vocals, this is top notch.
posted by burnmp3s at 4:15 PM on January 21, 2009 [1 favorite]
posted by burnmp3s at 4:15 PM on January 21, 2009 [1 favorite]
Is this some kind of injoke that I'm not getting?
posted by Afroblanco at 4:19 PM on January 21, 2009
posted by Afroblanco at 4:19 PM on January 21, 2009
Those dudes are much funnier-looking than the Gotti grandsons.
posted by box at 4:19 PM on January 21, 2009
posted by box at 4:19 PM on January 21, 2009
Rhaomi, I didn't know it, my life was incomplete without that onomatopoeia.
Everybody, now: MHRAAAAAAAAOOOOOGHHHH!
posted by evidenceofabsence at 4:20 PM on January 21, 2009
Everybody, now: MHRAAAAAAAAOOOOOGHHHH!
posted by evidenceofabsence at 4:20 PM on January 21, 2009
Brokencyde are tedious, dumb kids. But "In This Club" (last link) deserves that screamo cover.
I fail to see how this is somehow pushing the boundaries of crap. They've already been pushed.
No, as bad as it might be, "I'm Blue" is a hundred times better than that Brokencyde link as a song and as a video.
posted by pracowity at 4:20 PM on January 21, 2009
I fail to see how this is somehow pushing the boundaries of crap. They've already been pushed.
No, as bad as it might be, "I'm Blue" is a hundred times better than that Brokencyde link as a song and as a video.
posted by pracowity at 4:20 PM on January 21, 2009
The old people don't like it much, do they?
posted by PeterMcDermott at 4:20 PM on January 21, 2009 [1 favorite]
posted by PeterMcDermott at 4:20 PM on January 21, 2009 [1 favorite]
Black guys get freaky like this, white guys get freaky like a dying angst-ridden baby velociraptor.
posted by naju at 4:22 PM on January 21, 2009 [6 favorites]
posted by naju at 4:22 PM on January 21, 2009 [6 favorites]
Still, better than Nickleback.
posted by bonobothegreat at 4:27 PM on January 21, 2009 [13 favorites]
posted by bonobothegreat at 4:27 PM on January 21, 2009 [13 favorites]
Thes best comments about this video from my friends at RRC:
"With the world's economy in it's current state, it's good to know we can count on a domestic supply of shitty coke-fueled Eurodisco. Estonian immigrant strippers everywhere thank you, brokencyde. Autotune 4-EVAH!"
"I heard autotune pressed rape charges."
"I'll give StoopidFuxxxx a point for the guy in the pigsuit, but only if the guy wears the pigsuit to and from the gig, during all post gig partying, and during any liaisons with Tulsa-pass girls/screamo-crunk-luving funbois."
posted by KevinSkomsvold at 4:27 PM on January 21, 2009
"With the world's economy in it's current state, it's good to know we can count on a domestic supply of shitty coke-fueled Eurodisco. Estonian immigrant strippers everywhere thank you, brokencyde. Autotune 4-EVAH!"
"I heard autotune pressed rape charges."
"I'll give StoopidFuxxxx a point for the guy in the pigsuit, but only if the guy wears the pigsuit to and from the gig, during all post gig partying, and during any liaisons with Tulsa-pass girls/screamo-crunk-luving funbois."
posted by KevinSkomsvold at 4:27 PM on January 21, 2009
Silly people, Brokencyde are going to be huge...for all the reasons you say.
posted by bonefish at 4:29 PM on January 21, 2009 [1 favorite]
posted by bonefish at 4:29 PM on January 21, 2009 [1 favorite]
It's terrible. It makes me laugh. You know that these guys are just taking the piss.
It isn't much different than a Weird Al parody song, or a political cartoon. It's all absurd caricature.
Not going into my playlist but good for these guys. I'm guessing they're just doing it for the lulz, or whatever it's called these days.
posted by C.Batt at 4:30 PM on January 21, 2009 [1 favorite]
It isn't much different than a Weird Al parody song, or a political cartoon. It's all absurd caricature.
Not going into my playlist but good for these guys. I'm guessing they're just doing it for the lulz, or whatever it's called these days.
posted by C.Batt at 4:30 PM on January 21, 2009 [1 favorite]
periods suck, commas rule
truer words have never been spoken
posted by genmonster at 4:30 PM on January 21, 2009
truer words have never been spoken
posted by genmonster at 4:30 PM on January 21, 2009
Do you know why it's traditional to get kids off your lawn? It's not just about maintaining the greenery.
When a young man would court a southern belle, one of the end-game tactics was to give the lady a baculum -- a raccoon penis bone -- as a token of affection. In some cases, it was not fitting for the young man to be seen with his beloved, so the lad would take to schemeing.
Yard work was a good way for a boy to make some spare money, and mowing lawns and weeding and such were proper and seeing a boy engaged in such would not arouse any suspicion. While going about his chore, the boy would surreptitiously bury it in the young lady's yard and pass message to her about its location.
Fathers would eventually become wary of boys all-too-eager to perform mundane tasks, and took to shooing them away pre-emptively, before daughters could retrieve the symbolic tokens.
posted by boo_radley at 4:31 PM on January 21, 2009 [9 favorites]
When a young man would court a southern belle, one of the end-game tactics was to give the lady a baculum -- a raccoon penis bone -- as a token of affection. In some cases, it was not fitting for the young man to be seen with his beloved, so the lad would take to schemeing.
Yard work was a good way for a boy to make some spare money, and mowing lawns and weeding and such were proper and seeing a boy engaged in such would not arouse any suspicion. While going about his chore, the boy would surreptitiously bury it in the young lady's yard and pass message to her about its location.
Fathers would eventually become wary of boys all-too-eager to perform mundane tasks, and took to shooing them away pre-emptively, before daughters could retrieve the symbolic tokens.
posted by boo_radley at 4:31 PM on January 21, 2009 [9 favorites]
That is no Cooky Puss.
posted by R. Mutt at 4:32 PM on January 21, 2009 [1 favorite]
posted by R. Mutt at 4:32 PM on January 21, 2009 [1 favorite]
I see we've hit Phase 3 in the evolution : Rap > Crunk > Crap
posted by mannequito at 4:49 PM on January 21, 2009 [1 favorite]
posted by mannequito at 4:49 PM on January 21, 2009 [1 favorite]
It's no Chicken Moose Rhino Monkey, that's for sure.
posted by empath at 4:52 PM on January 21, 2009 [2 favorites]
posted by empath at 4:52 PM on January 21, 2009 [2 favorites]
Years and years of Internet experience and you people still can't recognize the slightest trolling?
posted by TheOnlyCoolTim at 4:58 PM on January 21, 2009
posted by TheOnlyCoolTim at 4:58 PM on January 21, 2009
"Our minds are no less inventive, our goods and services no less needed than they were last week or last month or last year. Our capacity remains undiminished. But our time of standing pat, of protecting narrow interests and putting off unpleasant decisions -- that time has surely passed.
Starting today, we must pick ourselves up, dust ourselves off, and begin again the work of remaking America. Let's get fukkin freaky now."
posted by gordie at 5:01 PM on January 21, 2009 [1 favorite]
Starting today, we must pick ourselves up, dust ourselves off, and begin again the work of remaking America. Let's get fukkin freaky now."
posted by gordie at 5:01 PM on January 21, 2009 [1 favorite]
Moderator: "Rush Limbaugh, would you like to respond to gordie?"
Rush Limbaugh: "Yes, I would, uh, I would just like to -- let me say LIAR LIAR LIAR" six minutes of synth sweeps
posted by boo_radley at 5:04 PM on January 21, 2009
Rush Limbaugh: "Yes, I would, uh, I would just like to -- let me say LIAR LIAR LIAR" six minutes of synth sweeps
posted by boo_radley at 5:04 PM on January 21, 2009
Bitches get stitches?
posted by stinkycheese at 5:04 PM on January 21, 2009
posted by stinkycheese at 5:04 PM on January 21, 2009
OH my gosh this newfangled trashy music is cause for CONCERN where are the republic's GUARDIANS
posted by fleetmouse at 5:07 PM on January 21, 2009 [1 favorite]
posted by fleetmouse at 5:07 PM on January 21, 2009 [1 favorite]
It's an ARG. It has to be.
Did I say "ARG"? I meant "argh".
posted by everichon at 5:12 PM on January 21, 2009
Did I say "ARG"? I meant "argh".
posted by everichon at 5:12 PM on January 21, 2009
Actually, seriously, it's gotta be a viral ad. The video is SO polished - I'm sure at the meeting where the agency came up with the idea they said "oh and the video will have to be a little bit un-polished" but the problem with agency directors is they simply can't help themselves. So they polish.
And the way the song has everything in it - deliberately bad lyrics, bits of all the most current pop music genres, all jumbled together. Someone is definitely having a massive joke. And it ain't the kids in the vid.
posted by awfurby at 5:16 PM on January 21, 2009
And the way the song has everything in it - deliberately bad lyrics, bits of all the most current pop music genres, all jumbled together. Someone is definitely having a massive joke. And it ain't the kids in the vid.
posted by awfurby at 5:16 PM on January 21, 2009
hhhnnnnngg!
posted by turgid dahlia at 5:31 PM on January 21, 2009
posted by turgid dahlia at 5:31 PM on January 21, 2009
Sadly for this theory they are a real thing. The only thing this is secretly advertising is HPV vaccine and magical panties that can be removed without taking pants off.
posted by Potomac Avenue at 5:38 PM on January 21, 2009
posted by Potomac Avenue at 5:38 PM on January 21, 2009
Screaming idiots != screamo. Kids with makeup screaming != screamo. Kids with makeup screaming == "grindie" or something like that. And it has nought to do with proper emo, either, though I do realise that term has been co-opted to include such things as Fallout Boy and My Chemical Romance, when it ought to refer to Fugazi, Drive Like Jehu and that lot.
Here is an example of screamo for reference.
posted by Dysk at 5:46 PM on January 21, 2009
Here is an example of screamo for reference.
posted by Dysk at 5:46 PM on January 21, 2009
Please, this band is 10X better than Pretty Flowers.
Nah. Brokencyde is what happens when you let Rusty Bottoms breed, is all.
posted by ROU_Xenophobe at 5:46 PM on January 21, 2009
Nah. Brokencyde is what happens when you let Rusty Bottoms breed, is all.
posted by ROU_Xenophobe at 5:46 PM on January 21, 2009
Oh, in my genre-nazi fit I completely forgot to say how utterly horrid these people are. It's like they've taken Hadouken! and turned it into utter dire shit, instead of being just "meh".
posted by Dysk at 5:55 PM on January 21, 2009
posted by Dysk at 5:55 PM on January 21, 2009
Okay, I got thirty seconds in before I had to stop to process that. If this is viral, it's brilliant. I suspect it is, as every single element is off in a profound, noticeable way: the bored performances, the over-the-top graphics, the extensive and unnecessary color-correction, the hackneyed costuming and casting, the awful dancing, the non-sequitur animal costumes, the painful lyrics, the insipid editing, even the utterly stupid name of both the band and song.
When something is badly made, it usually has a few redeeming, or at the very least, mediocre qualities. This is so consistently bad through and through that it feels deliberate, Hot Chicks With Douchebags: The Music Video or something along those lines.
posted by Ndwright at 6:04 PM on January 21, 2009 [1 favorite]
When something is badly made, it usually has a few redeeming, or at the very least, mediocre qualities. This is so consistently bad through and through that it feels deliberate, Hot Chicks With Douchebags: The Music Video or something along those lines.
posted by Ndwright at 6:04 PM on January 21, 2009 [1 favorite]
Brother Dysk: Well, no. Here is an example of Screamo for reference. That thing you posted is indistinguishable from "kids with makeup screaming." Which is why Brokencyde now feel comfortable doing it without ever having heard Born Against or Heroin. But, we quibble. Let's return to the subject at hand, the eradication of this genetic mutation before it spreads to the rest of the crop. My prescription: Off with their heads!
posted by Potomac Avenue at 6:05 PM on January 21, 2009
posted by Potomac Avenue at 6:05 PM on January 21, 2009
Okay, now I want Bush back. I don't know what generation that was, but we need another Vietnam to thin out their ranks a little.
posted by ND¢ at 6:13 PM on January 21, 2009 [1 favorite]
posted by ND¢ at 6:13 PM on January 21, 2009 [1 favorite]
Potomac Avenue: Born Against were a hardcore band, though, not screamo... And yes, JR Ewing are at the more melodic end of screamo, but they are it nonetheless.
posted by Dysk at 6:20 PM on January 21, 2009
posted by Dysk at 6:20 PM on January 21, 2009
When did music stop being dangerous?
posted by empath at 6:31 PM on January 21, 2009 [1 favorite]
posted by empath at 6:31 PM on January 21, 2009 [1 favorite]
When did music stop being dangerous?
When Ice Cube turned soft and went hollywood.
posted by cashman at 6:37 PM on January 21, 2009 [2 favorites]
When Ice Cube turned soft and went hollywood.
posted by cashman at 6:37 PM on January 21, 2009 [2 favorites]
Hey, did y'all see that guy in the pig suit? That was the part I liked. That guy in the pig suit.
posted by flapjax at midnite at 6:47 PM on January 21, 2009 [1 favorite]
posted by flapjax at midnite at 6:47 PM on January 21, 2009 [1 favorite]
Not only did it suck some seriously banal ass, it nearly locked up my computer, to the point that I could barely get rid of it.
Gee, thanks.
(Smegma.)
posted by markkraft at 6:48 PM on January 21, 2009
Gee, thanks.
(Smegma.)
posted by markkraft at 6:48 PM on January 21, 2009
Brother Dysk said: Screaming idiots != screamo.
Yes it does.
Look, just because some cluelessly angsty kids invented a new name for the same old rock-ensemble teen-angst bullshit doesn't actually make it a new genre - in fact, it's even more offensive because of the distinct lack of awareness of musical history.
There's about twenty well known bands and nearly as many genres that sound almost exactly the same as most of the emo/screamo crap coming out. Start with The Stone Roses. Try some Steel Pole Bathtub or Pigface. Hell, go back and listen to some Black Sabbath. And frankly - just add a lot more heavy studio compression and Pro Tools editing and JR Ewing sounds just like fucking Nickelback, with possibly marginally better lyrics.
This shit is old. It's not new. It's not cutting edge. It's a well known formula, one that should have died decades ago.
Potomac Avenue said: Here is an example of Screamo for reference.
That's funny, that looks and sounds like just about every basement/garage punk show I've ever been to for the past 20 years. Hell, it looks like it could have been filmed in my living room a couple of weeks ago at the metal/noise/grindcore show we did here - except the audience seems to be comprised entirely of preppy, clean-cut straight white boys instead of a more racially diverse blend of boys, girls and freaks of all sorts - that and we don't have any weird affectations about using drum machines to properly bring the noise.
posted by loquacious at 6:49 PM on January 21, 2009
Yes it does.
Look, just because some cluelessly angsty kids invented a new name for the same old rock-ensemble teen-angst bullshit doesn't actually make it a new genre - in fact, it's even more offensive because of the distinct lack of awareness of musical history.
There's about twenty well known bands and nearly as many genres that sound almost exactly the same as most of the emo/screamo crap coming out. Start with The Stone Roses. Try some Steel Pole Bathtub or Pigface. Hell, go back and listen to some Black Sabbath. And frankly - just add a lot more heavy studio compression and Pro Tools editing and JR Ewing sounds just like fucking Nickelback, with possibly marginally better lyrics.
This shit is old. It's not new. It's not cutting edge. It's a well known formula, one that should have died decades ago.
Potomac Avenue said: Here is an example of Screamo for reference.
That's funny, that looks and sounds like just about every basement/garage punk show I've ever been to for the past 20 years. Hell, it looks like it could have been filmed in my living room a couple of weeks ago at the metal/noise/grindcore show we did here - except the audience seems to be comprised entirely of preppy, clean-cut straight white boys instead of a more racially diverse blend of boys, girls and freaks of all sorts - that and we don't have any weird affectations about using drum machines to properly bring the noise.
posted by loquacious at 6:49 PM on January 21, 2009
"Melodic end of screamo" does not compute in my brain... originally screamo = hardcore + screaming, but the point we are both making is that genres are indistinct and just because something is terrible (say Good Charlotte) doesn't mean it isn't part of one we like (the punkrock of our forefathers). So you can make up a new genre if you want to put the stuff you hate into, and say nonono thats Punque, not Punk, or whatever, but it just doesn't work like that.
This is screamo because the kids call it screamo, and rather than defend the form, you gotta let it go, and realize that the best of the scene doesn't need you to defend it, and no type of music is sacrosanct. Fugazi's music still kicks ass no matter what name or set of associations people plop on it. And Brokencyde will always remain in the pantheon of abyssal no matter how many teenagers buy their records. And believe me, they will buy them. They just won't keep them for more than a year.
posted by Potomac Avenue at 6:51 PM on January 21, 2009 [2 favorites]
This is screamo because the kids call it screamo, and rather than defend the form, you gotta let it go, and realize that the best of the scene doesn't need you to defend it, and no type of music is sacrosanct. Fugazi's music still kicks ass no matter what name or set of associations people plop on it. And Brokencyde will always remain in the pantheon of abyssal no matter how many teenagers buy their records. And believe me, they will buy them. They just won't keep them for more than a year.
posted by Potomac Avenue at 6:51 PM on January 21, 2009 [2 favorites]
On preview, basically what loquacious said is what I meant.
Good musik iz good, bad music suxxx.
posted by Potomac Avenue at 6:56 PM on January 21, 2009
Good musik iz good, bad music suxxx.
posted by Potomac Avenue at 6:56 PM on January 21, 2009
Potomac Avenue: I always thought of screamo as emo + screaming. And that's emo in the original sense, rather than the sense in which it is applied now.
loquacious: specifically because I have an arse-load of music, including most of the stuff you mentioned, I find genre distinctions useful, so long as the definitions are more or less clear, or at least consistent. It helps sort out the giant hot mess "rock" would be otherwise.
posted by Dysk at 7:00 PM on January 21, 2009
loquacious: specifically because I have an arse-load of music, including most of the stuff you mentioned, I find genre distinctions useful, so long as the definitions are more or less clear, or at least consistent. It helps sort out the giant hot mess "rock" would be otherwise.
posted by Dysk at 7:00 PM on January 21, 2009
I blame the blood brothers and orchid for allowing skinny pants into hardcore music.
posted by Jeff_Larson at 7:28 PM on January 21, 2009
posted by Jeff_Larson at 7:28 PM on January 21, 2009
See kids? This, THIS is what happens.
hit post too soon, sorry
posted by Jeff_Larson at 7:29 PM on January 21, 2009
hit post too soon, sorry
posted by Jeff_Larson at 7:29 PM on January 21, 2009
That's gonna sell a metric buttload of glow-in-the-dark towels!
posted by erniepan at 7:39 PM on January 21, 2009 [3 favorites]
posted by erniepan at 7:39 PM on January 21, 2009 [3 favorites]
ooh, they should date the pussycat dolls and spawn the antichrist!
posted by sexyrobot at 7:40 PM on January 21, 2009 [2 favorites]
posted by sexyrobot at 7:40 PM on January 21, 2009 [2 favorites]
Potomac Avenue writes "And Brokencyde will always remain in the pantheon of abyssal no matter how many teenagers buy their records."
Wow, those guys are from my hometown. Never heard of them before now. That's kinda lame. A lot of good musicians have tried to break out from Abq., and these guys make it?
posted by krinklyfig at 7:43 PM on January 21, 2009
Wow, those guys are from my hometown. Never heard of them before now. That's kinda lame. A lot of good musicians have tried to break out from Abq., and these guys make it?
posted by krinklyfig at 7:43 PM on January 21, 2009
Brother Dysk writes "Potomac Avenue: I always thought of screamo as emo + screaming. And that's emo in the original sense, rather than the sense in which it is applied now."
Yeah, I always thought of it as a hybrid of grindcore and emo, but emo being sort of skate punk. Now emo's something else.
posted by krinklyfig at 7:46 PM on January 21, 2009
Yeah, I always thought of it as a hybrid of grindcore and emo, but emo being sort of skate punk. Now emo's something else.
posted by krinklyfig at 7:46 PM on January 21, 2009
This kid I knew in high school who played drums for a screamo band described the genre as "emo with death metal vocals." Of course, even back in '01 or '02 he already had to go on to disclaim that he meant emo in the original sense.
Anyway unless any of you were in a screamo band or know someone who was I think that pretty much settles it. The only caveat is that I never made it out to one of their shows so I don't know if there were enough Black people in the audience for them to be considered legitimate musicians.
posted by TheOnlyCoolTim at 7:57 PM on January 21, 2009
Anyway unless any of you were in a screamo band or know someone who was I think that pretty much settles it. The only caveat is that I never made it out to one of their shows so I don't know if there were enough Black people in the audience for them to be considered legitimate musicians.
posted by TheOnlyCoolTim at 7:57 PM on January 21, 2009
Brother D/TOCTim: Yeah, again, we agree.
emo + metal = screamo
AND/OR
emo + metal = screamo
It's the same equation, with different (and vastly quality-imbalanced) results.
Oh and sexyrobot: I'm pretty sure they're already working on crossbreeding them with the Millionaires.
posted by Potomac Avenue at 7:59 PM on January 21, 2009
emo + metal = screamo
AND/OR
emo + metal = screamo
It's the same equation, with different (and vastly quality-imbalanced) results.
Oh and sexyrobot: I'm pretty sure they're already working on crossbreeding them with the Millionaires.
posted by Potomac Avenue at 7:59 PM on January 21, 2009
According to wiki-P, the pig is named Bree and is a crunk dancer. No word on how that tubby guy got in -- I thought the young killed the tubby ones.
posted by Ogre Lawless at 8:14 PM on January 21, 2009
posted by Ogre Lawless at 8:14 PM on January 21, 2009
Oh ffs ok you win. Where do I turn in my music nerd badge and scarf?
posted by Potomac Avenue at 8:20 PM on January 21, 2009
posted by Potomac Avenue at 8:20 PM on January 21, 2009
Potomac Avenue: Did I use the term "genre nazi" already? I meant it... But seriously, it's all moot so long as we can agree that the stuff in the original post isn't screamo - it's just bad eurodisco or something with a bloke occasionally screaming in the background. There's not even a hint of sampled guitar!
posted by Dysk at 8:30 PM on January 21, 2009
posted by Dysk at 8:30 PM on January 21, 2009
The longer I watched, the worse it got. How does that work???
Hitting bottom now seems to suffer from Xeno's Paradox...
posted by djrock3k at 8:31 PM on January 21, 2009
Hitting bottom now seems to suffer from Xeno's Paradox...
posted by djrock3k at 8:31 PM on January 21, 2009
BD: May I direct you to the difference between Prescriptive Grammar and Descriptive? The kids say it is screamo-rap, and so it is, and your distinctions are based on musical niceties that are not strong enough to turn back the tide of language. So whether I agree with you or not, the google doesn't. And the google is always right.
Here is my scarf, it's a bit long but looks like you might need it--it gets quite cold in the land of Hardcore Formalism.
posted by Potomac Avenue at 8:51 PM on January 21, 2009 [3 favorites]
Here is my scarf, it's a bit long but looks like you might need it--it gets quite cold in the land of Hardcore Formalism.
posted by Potomac Avenue at 8:51 PM on January 21, 2009 [3 favorites]
Is this really that much worse than anything playing inside the Hollister or A&F at your local mall? Any ironic statements this video is trying to make are gonna go right over the heads of 14-year-olds who will eat this shit up, and the rest of us will snicker to ourselves. How exactly is that different from what happens in the alternate universe where Brokencyde never existed?
Whoever made this video either did a good job (if this is an honest-to-god band), or too good a job (if it's viral).
posted by xbonesgt at 9:03 PM on January 21, 2009
Whoever made this video either did a good job (if this is an honest-to-god band), or too good a job (if it's viral).
posted by xbonesgt at 9:03 PM on January 21, 2009
A major record label would never let this happen. This is what all of you deserve for supporting "file sharing."
posted by Joey Michaels at 9:10 PM on January 21, 2009
posted by Joey Michaels at 9:10 PM on January 21, 2009
Easy access to the internet and simplified technology for recording songs and videos might do great things for the future of pop music.
I watched one minute and twenty seconds of this . . . video.
It made me nostalgic for the old-school music industry, for those odious fucks who foisted crappy record after crappy record on us, who ripped off artists, who charged $20 for one hit and nineteen tracks of shit.
No matter how many crimes they may have committed, they did perform a gatekeeping function.
posted by jason's_planet at 9:33 PM on January 21, 2009
I watched one minute and twenty seconds of this . . . video.
It made me nostalgic for the old-school music industry, for those odious fucks who foisted crappy record after crappy record on us, who ripped off artists, who charged $20 for one hit and nineteen tracks of shit.
No matter how many crimes they may have committed, they did perform a gatekeeping function.
posted by jason's_planet at 9:33 PM on January 21, 2009
A major record label would never let this happen. This is what all of you deserve for supporting "file sharing."
No, it's exactly the opposite. The best way to make money is to pander to the masses. This is not the long tail, this is the mass market, the gutter of it, but in the same ilk as Hanna Montana and the like.
The market will be bifurcated between a service oriented industry for many small niche bands, and the vulgar mass market. Here we have the latter.
posted by zabuni at 9:56 PM on January 21, 2009
No, it's exactly the opposite. The best way to make money is to pander to the masses. This is not the long tail, this is the mass market, the gutter of it, but in the same ilk as Hanna Montana and the like.
The market will be bifurcated between a service oriented industry for many small niche bands, and the vulgar mass market. Here we have the latter.
posted by zabuni at 9:56 PM on January 21, 2009
I expect to see stills over at Hot Chicks With Douchebags
posted by bonobothegreat at 10:00 PM on January 21, 2009
posted by bonobothegreat at 10:00 PM on January 21, 2009
Holy shit. It just hit me:
This is really an Al-Qaeda recruiting video. Osama an' them put these things out in order to convince their followers that Western Civilization is decadent and depraved. And doomed to collapse.
posted by jason's_planet at 10:03 PM on January 21, 2009 [1 favorite]
This is really an Al-Qaeda recruiting video. Osama an' them put these things out in order to convince their followers that Western Civilization is decadent and depraved. And doomed to collapse.
posted by jason's_planet at 10:03 PM on January 21, 2009 [1 favorite]
No, it's exactly the opposite.
I think I forgot to close the sarcasm tag. Sorry!
posted by Joey Michaels at 10:13 PM on January 21, 2009
I think I forgot to close the sarcasm tag. Sorry!
posted by Joey Michaels at 10:13 PM on January 21, 2009
Interesting, but not good. What's the point? Is it a joke I'm not in on?
Equally scary was this.
What's wrong with these damn kids?
posted by From Bklyn at 10:13 PM on January 21, 2009
Equally scary was this.
What's wrong with these damn kids?
posted by From Bklyn at 10:13 PM on January 21, 2009
It may be viral. It may be ironic. It may be ordinary crap. I'm sure I don't care anymore and I'm done guessing.
posted by chairface at 10:21 PM on January 21, 2009
posted by chairface at 10:21 PM on January 21, 2009
I was going to post that I hate my generation, but then I realized I might be old enough to claim innocence. Now I'm just confused, and tired. I can't wait to get a yard so I can tell people to get off it.
and somewhere, Rome was burning
posted by Number Used Once at 10:37 PM on January 21, 2009
and somewhere, Rome was burning
posted by Number Used Once at 10:37 PM on January 21, 2009
When I lived in Albuquerque (Albcrazy, wtf?) I knew some kids who were in punk bands, real screamo, the kind of stuff that when the singer was finished he couldn't even talk. We'd sometimes go to shows at the Iron House, which was this empty house on Iron Avenue, that must have had power somehow because obvs the amps worked. Other than that it was completely empty except for, you know, sixty kids and a band backed up against the wall.
One time, this kid named Kyle came with us. He'd been drinking pretty heavily before we got there. When we got inside and were hit by this massive wall of sound he turned a little green and excused himself to the alley out back. After about five minutes, he came back barefoot. Turns out someone followed him, waited for him to start vomiting, then rolled him for his Nikes and the five bucks in his wallet.
Now imagine these children in such a situation. I like to think Mr. Pigsuit would be the first to go.
posted by sugarfish at 10:40 PM on January 21, 2009
One time, this kid named Kyle came with us. He'd been drinking pretty heavily before we got there. When we got inside and were hit by this massive wall of sound he turned a little green and excused himself to the alley out back. After about five minutes, he came back barefoot. Turns out someone followed him, waited for him to start vomiting, then rolled him for his Nikes and the five bucks in his wallet.
Now imagine these children in such a situation. I like to think Mr. Pigsuit would be the first to go.
posted by sugarfish at 10:40 PM on January 21, 2009
Potomac Avenue: I'm quite familiar with the whole prescriptive/descriptive thing, and I do tend to err on the side of prescriptive. However, things like genres become too confusing and diluted, and lose their value if one allows a purely descriptive standpoint. See garage (60s proto-rock ryhthm and blues? A particular strain of UK drum and bass? Pared-back, dirty rock?), r'n'b (rhythm and blues? Or the soul/hip-hop-esque stuff all over the charts?), or indie (independantly released music? Coldplay, Snow Patrol and their ilk? Neutral Milk Hotel, Bright Eyes and that lot?) as examples of now useless genre tags. These are beyond saving, probably, but let's try and hang on to the coherence of the genres we can, yes? Well, that's my position anyway.
[PS - you can keep the scarf, it probably suits you better ;)]
posted by Dysk at 12:03 AM on January 22, 2009
[PS - you can keep the scarf, it probably suits you better ;)]
posted by Dysk at 12:03 AM on January 22, 2009
Are you two really arguing over this piece of shit? Really? Come on.
posted by Blazecock Pileon at 12:16 AM on January 22, 2009
posted by Blazecock Pileon at 12:16 AM on January 22, 2009
From the Videogum comments:
I LOVE this video. it's just all about getting freaky in different places.
posted by minifigs at 1:39 AM on January 22, 2009 [1 favorite]
I LOVE this video. it's just all about getting freaky in different places.
posted by minifigs at 1:39 AM on January 22, 2009 [1 favorite]
These guys are going to be big.
posted by runkelfinker at 2:47 AM on January 22, 2009
posted by runkelfinker at 2:47 AM on January 22, 2009
That was terrible. Really, really terrible.
posted by The Great Big Mulp at 7:59 AM on January 22, 2009
posted by The Great Big Mulp at 7:59 AM on January 22, 2009
This just makes me that much more confident in my decision to never have children.
Now back to booby trapping my lawn and training the dogs to attack all wearing those stupid puffy high tops the haircuts and white belts are so fond of these days.
Also, I still of this as emo, but I'm old.
posted by thivaia at 8:21 AM on January 22, 2009
Now back to booby trapping my lawn and training the dogs to attack all wearing those stupid puffy high tops the haircuts and white belts are so fond of these days.
Also, I still of this as emo, but I'm old.
posted by thivaia at 8:21 AM on January 22, 2009
I like this comment from one of the Vimeo viewers:
"If my kids listened to this, I would beat the shit out of them."
posted by Bobby Bittman at 2:15 PM on January 22, 2009
"If my kids listened to this, I would beat the shit out of them."
posted by Bobby Bittman at 2:15 PM on January 22, 2009
I have two conflicting emotions on this. On one hand this is a catchy song that has entered a sphere of ridiculousness usually reserved for truly transcendental comedians (I was strangely reminded of Kids in the Hall) and on the other hand, this is misogynistic spew.
posted by Kattullus at 6:51 PM on January 23, 2009
posted by Kattullus at 6:51 PM on January 23, 2009
It had a guy in a pig suit.
posted by flapjax at midnite at 9:29 PM on January 23, 2009
posted by flapjax at midnite at 9:29 PM on January 23, 2009
I know, thus the sublime ridiculousness. Also, regarding the guy in the pig suit... his name is Bree and they have a song about him on their MySpace page. Here are the lyrics to the song.
posted by Kattullus at 11:28 PM on January 23, 2009
posted by Kattullus at 11:28 PM on January 23, 2009
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posted by gottabefunky at 3:28 PM on January 21, 2009 [2 favorites]