Dating A Banker Anonymous

January 28, 2009 9:54 AM

Dating A Banker Anonymous Are you or someone you love dating a banker? If so, we are here to support you through these difficult times. Dating A Banker Anonymous (DABA) is a safe place where women can come together – free from the scrutiny of feminists– and share their tearful tales of how the mortgage meltdown has affected their relationships. Via
posted by ColdChef (167 comments total)

A lovely transcript from the blog:

Suddenly, I found myself being taken out less and less frequently. A recent argument went along these lines:

Me *pouting*: You haven’t taken me on a trip since we went to Bermuda in September. What’s going on?

Charles: Honey, finances are tight right now so my wife has taken it upon herself to check up on all of our accounts. She will notice any big expenditures.

Me *cute voice*: Wellllllllllllll, what are you going to do to make it up to me?

Charles: Can we talk later sweetheart? I’m really busy right now.

Me: No. Give me an answer NOW. Don’t you realize what you have? I’m way too hot to be treated like this. (Disclaimer: Yes, I come across as bratty here, but it typically works when trying to get something out of him)

Charles *yelling for the first time in our almost two-year relationship*: I’VE GOT TO FIRE TWENTY PEOPLE BY THE END OF THE WEEK. Z has four kids, X just had a baby girl, Y just sent his son to college and I’ve got to get rid of two of those guys… and you’re complaining about vacations and dinner? God, you are so 24! GROW UP!

Me *stunned*: Okie dokie, let’s talk later lover.
posted by ThePinkSuperhero at 9:58 AM on January 28, 2009 [16 favorites]

These girls are the real victims of this recession.
posted by ColdChef at 10:00 AM on January 28, 2009 [9 favorites]

Surely this is satire, but in that spirit, by all means, let us "pity the plumage".
posted by orthogonality at 10:00 AM on January 28, 2009

This whole messy ordeal has advanced my Botox start date by at least two years.

And here I was, admiring my grandmother's wrinkles and enjoying the appearance of silver hair. But then I'm a guy in my late 20s, not the girlfriend or wife of a money juggler.
posted by filthy light thief at 10:05 AM on January 28, 2009

Somebody sent me this earlier today; it's along the lines of a written Videodrome, like it was specifically engineered to make my fucking head explode.
posted by The Straightener at 10:05 AM on January 28, 2009 [21 favorites]

I know someone who just (with good reason) divorced her banker. Best part was that the long term financial settlement was signed about a month before the meltdown. HA, HA!
posted by R. Mutt at 10:06 AM on January 28, 2009

This smells of a PR rollout. Got to that blog due to some other link yesterday, today it is in the NYT.
Don't think it is satire.
posted by Ironmouth at 10:06 AM on January 28, 2009

I wonder why these girls are so scared of "feminists."
posted by grobstein at 10:07 AM on January 28, 2009

free from the scrutiny of feminists

From the extract, this is the last thing these "girls" need.
posted by DU at 10:07 AM on January 28, 2009

It's probably fake, but that doesn't make it bad.
posted by chunking express at 10:08 AM on January 28, 2009

That's true. It's the concept and the writing that make it bad.
posted by felix at 10:08 AM on January 28, 2009 [3 favorites]

Surely this is satire, but in that spirit, by all means, let us "pity the plumage

Well at a minimum the women are using their real names. And a friend knows one of the women in the article - and wasn't exactly shocked at their output.
posted by JPD at 10:09 AM on January 28, 2009

Yeah, I don't think it's satire.
posted by grobstein at 10:11 AM on January 28, 2009

what
posted by The Whelk at 10:14 AM on January 28, 2009 [1 favorite]

....Those of you who are joking that this isn't satire are starting to scare me.

You...you are joking about that, right? Right?....
posted by EmpressCallipygos at 10:16 AM on January 28, 2009 [2 favorites]

sadly, not everything unbelievably stupid is satire. i'd have thought the last eight years had driven that point home pretty well.
posted by saulgoodman at 10:16 AM on January 28, 2009 [29 favorites]

One of our protagonists helping the world
posted by JPD at 10:17 AM on January 28, 2009 [1 favorite]

Ugh. Satire or no, this is so depressing that I feel like I may never love again. I need a bucket of glurge to marinate my blackened faux-heart in, STAT.
posted by RokkitNite at 10:18 AM on January 28, 2009 [1 favorite]

I tend to think not fake and only somewhat exaggerated.

I wonder why these girls are so scared of "feminists."

Because equality of the sexes would mean that while women such as these would probably still be able to exchange companionship and sexual favors for a lavish lifestyle, they'd no longer be able to do so without admitting they're high-class whores.
posted by TheOnlyCoolTim at 10:18 AM on January 28, 2009 [29 favorites]

....Those of you who are joking that this isn't satire are starting to scare me.

There are more things in heaven and earth, Horatio,
Than are dreamt of in your philosophy.
posted by ODiV at 10:21 AM on January 28, 2009 [2 favorites]

If it's satire, it's poorly done. If it's real, then ...

*stabs self in heart with rusty paper clip*
posted by joe lisboa at 10:23 AM on January 28, 2009 [2 favorites]

This blog is like a bloody and protracted civil war. It's really ugly, there are no good guys, but it's hard to look away.
posted by Salvor Hardin at 10:23 AM on January 28, 2009 [2 favorites]

It's fucking awful whether it's satire or not. Given a choice between trying to figure out if it's "LOLgolddiggers" or "easy, cheap characterizations," I'm going to opt for "close window."
posted by Skot at 10:23 AM on January 28, 2009 [3 favorites]

The best satire is when you're not quite sure if it's real or not.
posted by Blazecock Pileon at 10:24 AM on January 28, 2009 [9 favorites]

I didn't think people like that really existed before I moved to New York.
posted by limon at 10:27 AM on January 28, 2009 [4 favorites]

Oh yeah, the one down the page where sexual assault is "just what a girl needs, feminism be damned". That's the winner.
posted by DU at 10:28 AM on January 28, 2009 [4 favorites]

I'm pretty sure this is a satire, but not an inaccurate one. I have seen plenty of similar behavior in DC.
posted by kittens for breakfast at 10:28 AM on January 28, 2009

Don't worry, guys, this is the surest sign yet that it's almost all over. By this time next year we'll all be happily huddled in rags around a fifty five gallon drum in an abandoned lot roasting these people on sticks over a fire fed with the wood from their boyfriends' old office desks.
posted by The Straightener at 10:28 AM on January 28, 2009 [21 favorites]

I just read through the front page and I want to strangle myself with my own fallopian tubes. I would dearly love to think this is satire but....I've been to the upper east side, so I am thinking they mean every single word.
posted by Dormant Gorilla at 10:32 AM on January 28, 2009 [1 favorite]

Next up, TricksterGirlfriend.com, or How A 5 Minute Investment in Snagging a Used Condom Can Put You On Easy Street for the Next Eighteen Years.
posted by adipocere at 10:32 AM on January 28, 2009 [2 favorites]

Somebody sent me this earlier today; it's along the lines of a written Videodrome, like it was specifically engineered to make my fucking head explode.

A written Scanners, then?
Or do you feel yourself reaching for a weapon inside your chest, the cry of "Long live the new flesh!" rising unbidden to your lips?
posted by Durn Bronzefist at 10:34 AM on January 28, 2009 [3 favorites]

So many of them are "retold by the DABA girls". Retold ... how? So the posts all have the same tone, or were the submissions poorly written? Or not pathetic enough?
posted by armacy at 10:35 AM on January 28, 2009

When they came for the vapid, gold digging harpies, I did not speak out, because I was not a vapid, gold digging harpy. Thank God.
posted by The Whelk at 10:36 AM on January 28, 2009 [8 favorites]

Look, if it's not satire, it means I have to read the whole thing, rather than just skimming it as I did.

And that'll both depress and infuriate me.

Republicans constantly whine about how "high taxes" destroy innovation and punish hard work. But we all pay a whole lot to Wall Street -- all those ten million dollar bonuses come out of the economy, where they could be used for our common good. The justification is that we're collectively paying these costs -- these taxes on all our transactions -- because we're in return getting great financial wisdom from Wall Street. It's increasingly clear that the "wise advice" we've gotten could be replicated with a Magic 8-Ball, and that we've been paying astronomical fees for nothing more than bullshit from con men.

How many doctors, teachers, scientists, could we have funded for the money we've lavished on these charlatans and thieves? How much better off as a nation would we be had we invested in Main Street and our future?
posted by orthogonality at 10:36 AM on January 28, 2009 [28 favorites]

Oh, I knew that there were people this vapid and self-entitled as well.

I just had always believed that they were also just far, far too dumb and shallow to be so....deliberate about it.

...Which is what kept me from killing them for messing up a lot of decent guys.
posted by EmpressCallipygos at 10:37 AM on January 28, 2009

Is The Real Housewives of Orange County "satire"?

Certain concepts just aren't meaningful any more.
posted by Joe Beese at 10:37 AM on January 28, 2009 [4 favorites]

Leveraged Sell-Out is a related (and much funnier) satirical blog.
posted by Perplexity at 10:38 AM on January 28, 2009

Or do you feel yourself reaching for a weapon inside your chest, the cry of "Long live the new flesh!" rising unbidden to your lips?

I actually do feel myself reaching for a weapon inside my chest when I read this article, so it's a sort of written Scanners/Videodrome hybrid which is pretty impressive and should probably receive a Pulitzer Prize.
posted by The Straightener at 10:39 AM on January 28, 2009 [1 favorite]

Certain concepts just aren't meaningful any more.

We live in a post-satire society.
posted by Blazecock Pileon at 10:40 AM on January 28, 2009 [7 favorites]

This isn't satire? I am writing this because I want other DABA girls, whose relationships tanked with the economy, to know it’s not their fault and that the economy is a zero sum game. Somewhere out there, some other finance guy is raking it in right now. Have faith that if you continue to starve yourself to perfection, he will find you.
posted by armacy at 10:41 AM on January 28, 2009 [1 favorite]

Even if it is satire, it's easily one of the most depressing things I've ever read, and thus I will no longer do that.
posted by Caduceus at 10:41 AM on January 28, 2009

This is proof that deep down, humans need shame.
posted by tommasz at 10:43 AM on January 28, 2009 [8 favorites]

Were I a human resources administrator, I would advise these ladies to become hookers and turn their skills into a money making machine. In tough times, prices drop even for whores, but do not need to declare income for tax purposes, can get unemployment if they lose jobs, have enough money to continue a romantic relationship with the guy who has lost his and is unable to maintain the life style the babes expect. That is sharing. And both parties will benefit from this move while the girl will also profit from it.
posted by Postroad at 10:47 AM on January 28, 2009

These gals aren't hookers cause they're not smart enough. the Prostitutes of New York group (PONY) offers courses in managing money and how to reporting your earnings and file taxes. These girls couldn't balance a checkbook unless it was on their nose and they were promised a puppy later.
posted by The Whelk at 10:53 AM on January 28, 2009 [5 favorites]

"I would advise these ladies to become hookers"

Become?
posted by Billegible at 10:55 AM on January 28, 2009 [18 favorites]

It's shit like this that makes me hope for a Jared-Diamond-esque societal collapse, or a French revolution complete with tumbrils and guillotines.

Have these whores ever even thought about the kids in kentucky who can't chew food because their teeth have all fallen out due to lack of dental care? Or the doormen and cabbies in their own city who can't afford to see a doctor?

I'm no radical Communist, but it is just sick that an accident of birth should let these shits vacation in the Hamptons while their fellow American die in understaffed emergency rooms.

We're on our way to becoming Brazil, with an unbridgeable chasm between the very wealthy and all the rest of us. I only hope that Americans' fondness for guns means a class revolution instead, as bloody and terrible as that would be. To paraphrase, Up against the Wall Street, Motherfuckers.
posted by orthogonality at 10:57 AM on January 28, 2009 [26 favorites]

>"I would advise these ladies to become hookers"

>>Become?

Oh, man, the MeTa on this is gonna be popcorn heaven.
posted by kittens for breakfast at 10:59 AM on January 28, 2009 [5 favorites]

Isn't a major part of Something or Other Anonymous that you are anonymous to a degree? First name basis-only and all that? If so, they're doing it wrong. The first two google results for Megan Petrus bring up an email address and direct work line, and a facebook profile showing a Megan Petrus from NYC drinking and dancing.

And now I realize that the first article is fairly anonymous, while the second is nothing of the sort.
posted by filthy light thief at 11:01 AM on January 28, 2009

We're on our way to becoming Brazil, with an unbridgeable chasm between the very wealthy and all the rest of us.

You mean Bush's tax cuts for the wealthy weren't really intended to stimulate the economy?
posted by Joe Beese at 11:01 AM on January 28, 2009 [1 favorite]

I'll be post-satire when we get to the post-economic apocalypse.
posted by AwkwardPause at 11:02 AM on January 28, 2009 [3 favorites]

Gee, how did I miss the amazing best-of-the-web site? I missed it on CNN, MSNBC, Fox, and the New York Times, and no doubt soon Ellen and Oprah. Thank god MeFi is here or viral marketing for reality shows would be a dead industry.
posted by fourcheesemac at 11:03 AM on January 28, 2009

In Perplexity's link, down in the feedback section, when posters starting quoting The Great Gatsby, I felt vindicated about this mess and my lack of a Ivy League education. It was as if I was hearing the words of God.
posted by niccolo at 11:04 AM on January 28, 2009

Practice Areas: Not available

Wonder why...
posted by AwkwardPause at 11:06 AM on January 28, 2009

I've been to the upper east side, so I am thinking they mean every single word.

Yeah, funny that. I imagine lots of little white toy dogs are suddenly showing up at shelters, and the sushi and eyebrow threading and pedicure businesses (literally one of each *per* block in stretches of the East 60s-80s) are really hurting. It will be even funnier when they have to learn what a "job" is.
posted by fourcheesemac at 11:07 AM on January 28, 2009 [2 favorites]

It's shit like this that makes me hope for a Jared-Diamond-esque societal collapse, or a French revolution complete with tumbrils and guillotines.

If that happened, these ladies would just be screwing the revolutionaries. The problem with revolutions is that you just replace one set of elites with another.
posted by delmoi at 11:10 AM on January 28, 2009 [9 favorites]

Back around 2000 I worked at a company where I met a VP from one of the major IBs on Wall Street. This person pulled down bonuses larger than what I make over decades. He used a portion of his obscene bonuses to buy a house on Long Island for and pay a six figure income to a woman that was his private madame (fetish thing). These stories don't surprise me at all.
posted by ryoshu at 11:10 AM on January 28, 2009 [1 favorite]

'moonMan's in finance and he's just about losing his mind.

On the other hand, I'm totally happy to move back to the slums because I'm sick of living in a neighborhood where women paid just as much for fur coats as I paid for a college education.

Really rich people give me the howling fantods. There. I said it.
posted by grapefruitmoon at 11:15 AM on January 28, 2009 [7 favorites]

Have these whores ever even thought about the kids in kentucky who can't chew food because their teeth have all fallen out due to lack of dental care?

This is assuming that they know what a "Kentucky" is.
posted by blucevalo at 11:21 AM on January 28, 2009 [1 favorite]

I wouldn't call this "satire", but I wouldn't call it "real" either. No, what this is is Marxist propaganda designed to foment violent revolution, the 21st century equivalent of those 19th century posters depicting fat men with top hats and monocles feeding on the blood of the working class. Its purpose is to inspire us to put these fucking vampires up against a wall once and for all. And you know what? It kinda works.
posted by DecemberBoy at 11:24 AM on January 28, 2009 [14 favorites]

Yeah, funny that. I imagine lots of little white toy dogs are suddenly showing up at shelters, and the sushi and eyebrow threading and pedicure businesses (literally one of each *per* block in stretches of the East 60s-80s) are really hurting.

I can't speak to the NY context, but I think your stereotype needs updating. I can't hit even the "bad" neighbourhoods in town without finding a sushi place. I mean, maybe not the freshest fish, but still. And this ain't Vancouver.
posted by Durn Bronzefist at 11:29 AM on January 28, 2009 [1 favorite]

not clicking that link
posted by Optimus Chyme at 11:33 AM on January 28, 2009

If that happened, these ladies would just be screwing the revolutionaries. The problem with revolutions is that you just replace one set of elites with another.

Eh, I doubt that. These "ladies" are cunning enough to speak the language of the elites of NYC, which revolves around status items and status places, but their attention deficit brains could never absorb enough the argot of revolution to connect with any budding Dantons or Robespierres.
posted by nikitabot at 11:36 AM on January 28, 2009

I think it's fake, and based on that belief, I also think it's hilarious.

Please let me be right.
posted by padraigin at 11:38 AM on January 28, 2009

clicked that link and regretted it so hard
posted by Optimus Chyme at 11:47 AM on January 28, 2009 [2 favorites]

There are narcissistic, spoiled and greedy people in the world. At least some of those people have access to a computer.

Next?
posted by orange swan at 11:52 AM on January 28, 2009

Guys, rich people would give it all up in a minute to enjoy the simple pleasures we take for granted.
posted by Legomancer at 11:56 AM on January 28, 2009 [6 favorites]

Not fake. In fact, these posts are pretty tame. Almost heartwarming.
posted by Zambrano at 11:56 AM on January 28, 2009

Eh, I doubt that. These "ladies" are cunning enough to speak the language of the elites of NYC, which revolves around status items and status places, but their attention deficit brains could never absorb enough the argot of revolution to connect with any budding Dantons or Robespierres.

Besides, they already dated the revolutionaries sometime in college just after the experimental lesbian period and just before their first internship at Conde Nast.
posted by thivaia at 11:57 AM on January 28, 2009 [8 favorites]

Optimus: You mean the link niccolo mentioned? If so, I made the same mistake. Don't read the comments on that site if you aren't the type who enjoys feeling angry enough to actually harm people or if your blood pressure tends to run high.
posted by saulgoodman at 11:59 AM on January 28, 2009

These "ladies" are cunning enough to speak the language of the elites of NYC, which revolves around status items and status places, but their attention deficit brains could never absorb enough the argot of revolution to connect with any budding Dantons or Robespierres.

Oh, and the revolutionary "game" doesn't involve jockeying for status, making the correct references, etc?

I think that you're putting them down as stupid because it makes you feel better about yourself. But you underestimate human flexibility. These women probably have very high-level social skills. They're probably very good at reading the social environment and figuring out how to adapt themselves to the needs of the powerful.

delmoi is right; the only bet I'd make is how long it would take them to learn the rules of the new game. ("Let's see . . . 'proletariat' . . . 'struggle' . . . 'oppressed' . . . shabbier pants . . . no makeup . . . ")
posted by jason's_planet at 11:59 AM on January 28, 2009 [4 favorites]

I think it's real but also hilarious. It's decently written for a blog, and a fantastic example of how cleverness and a sense of irony has no bearing on whether you act with any degree of dignity or ethics.
posted by Potomac Avenue at 12:00 PM on January 28, 2009 [2 favorites]

If hate could power automobiles I think I just solved the energy crisis.

I have to go call my wife now and thank her for being absolutely nothing like these horrible women.
posted by Bango Skank at 12:02 PM on January 28, 2009

Man, this reads like parody. Were it not for the Times article, I would say this was a hoax for sure. Hell, NYT notwithstanding, I still have my doubts.
posted by Afroblanco at 12:05 PM on January 28, 2009

These women probably have very high-level social skills. killer bodies

Seriously, let us not romanticize the type. I know the type. They're pretty women who spend a lot of time working out, and also a lot of time indulging themselves, and have a very short shelf life: They're your starter trophy wife. That's it.
posted by kittens for breakfast at 12:07 PM on January 28, 2009 [1 favorite]

It took two hours of psycho-analysis and brunch at Market Table for us to come to the realization that our FBFs’ recent bad behavior and sudden lack of basic manners had nothing to do with us, it was the recession.

Provide, Provide!
posted by Potomac Avenue at 12:10 PM on January 28, 2009 [1 favorite]

These women probably have very high-level social skills.

If you really think high-level social skills are required to manipulate men using sexuality, you've never been out to a beer bar in a college town on ladies night.
posted by saulgoodman at 12:11 PM on January 28, 2009 [2 favorites]

Oh, and the revolutionary "game" doesn't involve jockeying for status, making the correct references, etc?

The competition factor definitely exists but I find it heard to believe they could live without amenities and pampering -- unless following the revolution results in personal prosperity and a life of ease. Living without without being spoiled would be close to impossible.

I think that you're putting them down as stupid because it makes you feel better about yourself. But you underestimate human flexibility.

What? I've lived in NY for years and currently work in Times Square where I am surrounded by women just like this. It's inconceivable that my personal, daily observations of them has led me to form any kind of opinion. But you're right, I'm insecure/jellus, etc.
posted by nikitabot at 12:20 PM on January 28, 2009 [2 favorites]

If you really think high-level social skills are required to manipulate men using sexuality, you've never been out to a beer bar in a college town on ladies night.

Truer words . . .

I'd argue high-level social skills are often a liability in those situations.
posted by thivaia at 12:20 PM on January 28, 2009

This is assuming that they know what a "Kentucky" is.

Oh, I know about Kentucky! That's the place in America where I wear my hats, and the people talk funny, and I have to drink bourbon out of silver cups that totally sweat all over my hand, and so I don't wear silk to the Derby any more.

Ascot is nicer, but Brandon's bitch wife found the credit card he uses to take me places. And I was so looking forward to blowing Harry behind the stands now that he's dumped that Chelsy girl who thinks she's so smart.
posted by catlet at 12:43 PM on January 28, 2009

Like I needed another reason to dislike people. Can we throw them to the lions now?
posted by -t at 12:50 PM on January 28, 2009

Man, this reads like parody. Were it not for the Times article, I would say this was a hoax for sure. Hell, NYT notwithstanding, I still have my doubts.

Yeah, the NYT got punked by a publicist hawking a book deal? I'm shocked, shocked!
posted by The Bellman at 12:53 PM on January 28, 2009

Joke all you want to about the French Revolution, the reality is it will never happen over something like this. Revolution comes from the #2 spot, leveraging the will of the people - at best we had that when Obama took office... maybe we'll see them squirm some - but it takes far less freedom for people to take up arms in an organized fashion. You cannot simultaneously revolt against your government and stop at the drive in for a delicious cup of Starbucks Coffee - sorry... if you're able to do that you're part of the problem and your kidding yourself...

At best (and I really don't dare call it 'best' as it is probably our worst), we'll have a few Ned Ludds take pot shots at wall street bankers and CEOs, maybe burn down an office building, maybe trash a factory that closes down somewhere in the Midwest, and/or some other misguided and uncoordinated efforts. More so, these things would be decreed domestic terrorism, and the perpetrators would be put on a pillory as examples of how economic recession breeds domestic terrorism...

We are a population of sheep.



Now... here's the thing, we did get our change - we got Obama in office. Him being there means that while these DABAs might be crying about not going out to eat every night or that their boyfriend is not wealthy enough, but the reality is - they will more than likely be back to that lifestyle within the next 4 years. This is just a temporary setback...

If what we really wanted was revolution - then we'd have found some way to keep Bush in office for at least 4 more years, we'd have raised the taxes on the poor, we'd have flown our capital to other more developing countries, we'd have embraced cronyism more, we'd have expanded Guantanamo (pardon my spelling fart going on right now), begun locking people up who showed any sign of dissent from the government (g'bye New England), and otherwise made sure that the class warfare was very very visible. At the last steps, you start stationing US troops on US soil during active duty, restrict access to weapons and ensure that infrastructure is crippled enough so that standing up against an oppressor would mean cutting off supplies (food, safety, cash). The sheer fact that we consider ourselves free enough to write anything against vapid self obsessed shoe whoring socialites means that we're pretty much just a bunch of neutered loudmouths... hmmm.

Metafilter: The sheer fact that we consider ourselves free enough to write anything against vapid self obsessed shoe whoring socialites means that we're pretty much just a bunch of neutered loudmouths.
posted by Nanukthedog at 12:56 PM on January 28, 2009 [3 favorites]

We're on our way to becoming Brazil, with an unbridgeable chasm between the very wealthy and all the rest of us.

Don't you think that was the whole point of the last eight years?

The problem with revolutions is that you just replace one set of elites with another.

I'm perfectly OK with that, because our current set of elites has totally fucked everything up and deserve to lose their elite status before they burn what's left of the country down.

Honest and competent>corrupt and competent>corrupt and incompetent. We've been on the third tier for a while now.
posted by vibrotronica at 12:58 PM on January 28, 2009 [2 favorites]

Guys, rich people would give it all up in a minute to enjoy the simple pleasures we take for granted.

Yeah, right.
posted by delmoi at 1:00 PM on January 28, 2009 [2 favorites]

If you really think high-level social skills are required to manipulate men using sexuality, you've never been out to a beer bar in a college town on ladies night.

Apple, meet orange. Orange, meet apple.

Seriously, let us not romanticize the type.

I'm most emphatically not romanticizing them. I'm declining to participate in the little Two Minutes Hate we've generated here and trying to take a more objective look at them.

The competition factor definitely exists but I find it heard to believe they could live without amenities and pampering

Again -- people are more flexible than you give them credit for.

It's inconceivable that my personal, daily observations of them has led me to form any kind of opinion.

I think your opinion is one-sided. It's easy to believe that the people or social types you can't stand have no strengths or redeeming values. But they do. Just as the people you love very deeply have faults and weaknesses.
posted by jason's_planet at 1:04 PM on January 28, 2009 [2 favorites]

That's lame, Nanukthedog. It's like saying the only way someone could ever get a broken arm patched is if they waited for it to develop gangrene and fall off before going to the doctor. There are less extreme ways to affect extreme change. They just take longer and aren't as satisfying to our more destructive and vindictive impulses.
posted by saulgoodman at 1:04 PM on January 28, 2009 [1 favorite]

It's easy to believe that the people or social types you can't stand have no strengths or redeeming values.

Ah, sounds like someone's got a very persuasive secret girlfriend of his own...

/kidding! seriously. just kidding.
posted by saulgoodman at 1:08 PM on January 28, 2009

I actually do feel myself reaching for a weapon inside my chest when I read this article, so it's a sort of written Scanners/Videodrome hybrid which is pretty impressive and should probably receive a Pulitzer Prize.

You can distinguish between the two by thinking about what you'd like to do to Debbie Harry.

Just burn or cut her? Saw, which doesn't count.
Burn or cut her whilst doing her? Videodrome.
Read her thoughts? Scanners.
Read her thoughts while fucking her to learn that she's fantasizing about you cutting or burning her? Scannerdrome, and also a milder example of what David Cronenberg thinks about when he's patting his dog.
posted by ROU_Xenophobe at 1:14 PM on January 28, 2009 [10 favorites]

I'm most emphatically not romanticizing them. I'm declining to participate in the little Two Minutes Hate we've generated here and trying to take a more objective look at them.

And that's fair, as a goal, but I think what you're doing is granting them attributes that, in real life, they tend not to possess. It doesn't take advanced social skills to net a young banking hotshot; it takes titties. Why would you imagine that some unusual trait was required?
posted by kittens for breakfast at 1:15 PM on January 28, 2009

I have to go call my wife now and thank her for being absolutely nothing like these horrible women.

The hell of it is, though -- a lot of us women are absolutely nothing like these horrible women. A lot of us would much rather cultivate our brains and our hearts rather than our checkbooks and our plumage.

But the women like this are shinier and sparklier, and get more attention -- and a lot of guys get unknowingly caught up in it. And when they've tossed a guy on the scrap heap, or after he's wised up and tossed her, lots of those guys get left gun-shy and messed up and bitter and wondering why there "aren't any good women" around -- and meanwhile I'm sitting there with a legion of overlooked women muttering, "what the fuck are we, huh?" And lots more people end up bitter.


....sorry. I just had an unfortunate year in the dating game once.
posted by EmpressCallipygos at 1:17 PM on January 28, 2009 [9 favorites]

The revolution will not happen between these thighs.
posted by stinkycheese at 1:17 PM on January 28, 2009 [2 favorites]

I must say, this site is a beautiful troll. Satire, real, it doesn't matter. This site played us as easily as they played their imaginary boyfriends. They know exactly what stereotypes to work. Louis Vuittons, BlackBerry texting, Ricardo from Buenos Aires, russian models..
posted by formless at 1:20 PM on January 28, 2009 [4 favorites]

Look at the bright side - these girls are going to have to lower their standards, so maybe some of us regular guys can get a chance at having our very own harlot! Right?
posted by orme at 1:27 PM on January 28, 2009

I think your opinion is one-sided. It's easy to believe that the people or social types you can't stand have no strengths or redeeming values. But they do. Just as the people you love very deeply have faults and weaknesses.

Again, what? You read and projected a lot into a short comment that I made.
posted by nikitabot at 1:27 PM on January 28, 2009

And when they've tossed a guy on the scrap heap, or after he's wised up and tossed her, lots of those guys get left gun-shy and messed up and bitter and wondering why there "aren't any good women" around [...]

What a lot of those guys mean when they ask why there "aren't any good women around" is "why aren't there any women with rock-hard fitness model bodies with fake titties around who also want me for me, instead of my money?"

It's the same thing a lot of nerd males encounter. They become the "friend" to some college cheerleader centrefold type and pine for her while she dates a series of jerks. Then she asks, "Why can't more men be like you? Decent, honest..." And the nerd loses his mind trying to tell her that he's available but she rebuffs him with a "Oh I'd never want to ruin our friendship." What she's really saying is "I wish there were guys with Pierce Brosnan looks and loads of money who were also decent and honest."

We're humans, so we want it all. When we discover we can't have it all we either become desperately bitter or we adjust and embrace contentment rather than unrealistic dreams.
posted by illiad at 1:35 PM on January 28, 2009 [10 favorites]

"One advantage of the collapse of civilization is that the quality of the young women who are becoming whores has gone way up."
-- John Updike
posted by orthogonality at 1:44 PM on January 28, 2009 [8 favorites]

Guys, rich people would give it all up in a minute to enjoy the simple pleasures we take for granted.

The Barbie Princess movies tell me that this is true! Ah, indoctrinating the youth of today against classism. Or not.
posted by grapefruitmoon at 2:03 PM on January 28, 2009

John Updike

.
posted by Blazecock Pileon at 2:03 PM on January 28, 2009

Ah, sounds like someone's got a very persuasive secret girlfriend of his own...

HAHAHAHAHAHA! Oh, that one made me laugh out loud. But, no. Not in the least.

It doesn't take advanced social skills to net a young banking hotshot; it takes titties. Why would you imagine that some unusual trait was required?

There are lots of jaw-droppingly attractive young women here in NYC.

Mere hotness isn't enough.
posted by jason's_planet at 2:07 PM on January 28, 2009

Guys, rich people would give it all up in a minute to enjoy the simple pleasures we take for granted.

Touching their wrist and feeling a pulse?
posted by MiltonRandKalman at 2:15 PM on January 28, 2009 [2 favorites]

Yea, I think the truth is somewhere between satire and being actual real stories myself, but I just wanted I'm going to have to agree with jason's_planet that some people are underestimating these women because they're being fooled by the word "golddigger.' It's a different breed of New York style "gold digging" where it's not just simple gold digging per se but is more like your typical social climbing. These are not your typical dumb no job having girls who will be out on the street once they get cut off from "Big Daddy". They're very smart in a survivalistic way that a parasitic plant or single-cell organism is when it comes to adapting and working situations to get what they want. How else do you explain someone like Julia Allison thriving in this city? In fact, these DABA chicks have pretty expertly gamed the media into snagging a book deal, which I'm sure they were planning on all along since their boyfriends are now all broke.

It's not just about getting the trips and clothes etc. It's about gaining leverage (something some guys in the city are guilty of as well and in fact a lot of times boyfriends have something to gain as well, like having their own cute indie "downtown" girlfriend to show off at firm parties who's in the arts that's omg, also young and hot. Eat it, Anderson, with your boring model girlfriend, or you're that successful writer funding a young ingenue of your own). Having a boyfriend with some sort of standing that can pay for your rent, buy you clothes, fund your hobbies/meals/whatever means less money to spend, more money in your pocket, therefore less time having to work like other people and more time being able to network, go out to brunch, make connections or whatever. And sure, a bit of ease in life and luxury helps, but hey since you don't actually have to like work to pay rent look at all this free time you have to work on your art!
posted by kkokkodalk at 2:15 PM on January 28, 2009 [9 favorites]

"I'm sick of living in a neighborhood where women paid just as much for fur coats as I paid for a college education.

Really rich people give me the howling fantods. There. I said it."

Really rich people don't live in neighborhoods.
posted by Eideteker at 2:20 PM on January 28, 2009 [3 favorites]

Mere hotness isn't enough.

Even granting your point, ruthless, calculating personal ambition isn't typically ranked among one of the higher social skills, no matter how sophisticated these "skills." In fact, the DSM-IV identifies parasitism as characteristic of the antisocial personality disorders.
posted by saulgoodman at 2:20 PM on January 28, 2009 [2 favorites]

And sure, a bit of ease in life and luxury helps, but hey since you don't actually have to like work to pay rent look at all this free time you have to work on your art!

If these women actually are working on any kind of "art", I'll blow a herd of caribou in Times Square.

And a tell-all gossipy blog tie-in book deal that I am 90% sure would have to be ghostwritten is not "art".
posted by EmpressCallipygos at 2:25 PM on January 28, 2009 [2 favorites]

And a tell-all gossipy blog tie-in book deal that I am 90% sure would have to be ghostwritten is not "art".

Wow, way to take it literally. Maybe I should've used asterisks to indicate my sarcasm? I have no idea where you got the idea that I said these women were creating art. I was talking about a behavior type in general. In fact, I wasn't even praising (or condemning for that matter), just recognizing the game and it's players is all, so color me confused RE: to your response to my statement. Or if you were just using part of my comment as a jumping off point, my bad, but 'm going to have to say I don't appreciate the way my comment is being colored by your selective quoting.
posted by kkokkodalk at 2:35 PM on January 28, 2009

That's lame, Nanukthedog. It's like saying the only way someone could ever get a broken arm patched is if they waited for it to develop gangrene and fall off before going to the doctor. There are less extreme ways to affect extreme change. They just take longer and aren't as satisfying to our more destructive and vindictive impulses.

No, its saying that the change people are calling for in prior statements (revolution, who's first up against the wall, et. all) aren't going to happen unless people are moved out of complacency. Bush affected change with significantly less effort. Think of the splintered Democrats in the 80s and early 90s. Even under Clinton there was an obvious lack of interest and consistency of message from the masses. In contrast the neocons built a platform of reform, moral high ground, and expanded it with fear and security through tyranny. Regardless of what one thinks of their actions or intent, it was an undeniably brilliant strategy.

What I'm saying is there will never be a revolution of the magnitude where folks like this are put up against the wall... we are too chicken a socitety. If you say you want a revolution... well, you know we all want to change the world...
posted by Nanukthedog at 2:48 PM on January 28, 2009

There are lots of jaw-droppingly attractive young women here in NYC.

Mere hotness isn't enough.

Mere hotness isn't enough to do...what? Look, these are just guys. What makes them so different from anyone else? They're young Wall Street douches -- do you think they need some cultured geisha or some shit? They just want some chick who looks all Maxim, man.
posted by kittens for breakfast at 2:55 PM on January 28, 2009 [3 favorites]

I love my wife/a wee bit more/a little bit more each day
The qualities/I love her for/are far too numerous to say
Your mistress may/be quite the whore/I'm sure she's got a lot of nerve
While my wife loves me/a wee bit more/a wee bit more than I deserve
posted by davejay at 2:56 PM on January 28, 2009

I don't care if it's fake. This is my new inspirational desktop image.
posted by Fiasco da Gama at 2:59 PM on January 28, 2009

yeah, right. like this is not some unemployed writer sitting in his or her basement thinking they're having the idea of their life and that desperately-needed book deal is just a couple more stories away.
posted by krautland at 2:59 PM on January 28, 2009

Satire, not parody.
posted by mrgrimm at 3:16 PM on January 28, 2009

Mere hotness isn't enough

Agreed. They have to be hot, ruthless, and materialistic. They do probably have to pretend to be nice enough not to get dumped, too.
posted by footnote at 3:42 PM on January 28, 2009

Dating A Banker Anonymous (DABA) is a safe place where women can come together – free from the scrutiny of feminists


We decided to waive the membership fee. It's the least we could do. - The Scrutiny of Feminists
posted by terranova at 3:44 PM on January 28, 2009 [3 favorites]

Ghostwritten? Read the quote:

This morning, ex-Lucky Beauty writer Dawn Spinner came out as a DABA in the New York Times’ profile of Dating A Banker Anonymous, a blog for women having a rough time with their men due to the tanking economy.

Well now we hear Dawn and her fellow DABA’s, Laney Crowell, a beauty editor at StyleCaster and lawyer Megan Petrus are getting a book deal.^

This group is made up of a former magazine writer, an editor and a lawyer. I suspect that they can write. I mean, hell, the blog is writing. They may be shallow, but they are certainly literate.

I think it's real. It may be slightly exaggerated for comedic effect, but they sound real to me.

There are lots of people out in the world who have different values from me, but it doesn't mean they are fake.
posted by MythMaker at 3:44 PM on January 28, 2009

This reminds me of that one Craigslist Ad : "By 35 stick a fork in you!"
(I found the full text here)
posted by P.o.B. at 3:49 PM on January 28, 2009 [5 favorites]

Satire, not parody.

I stand corrected.

Also, this passage makes me very suspicious :

So if your monthly Bergdorf’s allowance has been halved and bottle service has all but disappeared from your life, lighten your heart with laughter and email your stories to [e-mail]. Warning all stories sent will be infused with our own special brand of DABA Girl humor.
posted by Afroblanco at 3:54 PM on January 28, 2009

...chopping vegetables along side your man in a hot New York sized kitchen is NOTHING like the sexy kitchen scene between Mickey Rourke and Kim Basinger in Nine and a Half Weeks.

I'm calling bullshit. 9 1/2 Weeks was made 23 years ago. No trophy girl in her twenties will have ever heard of it let alone seen it. Any romantic movie moment they would come up with would have been in the last 10 years
posted by dithered at 4:01 PM on January 28, 2009

No trophy girl in her twenties will have ever heard of it let alone seen it.

Why on Earth not? It's 9 1/2 Weeks, not Late Autumn. These are educated women in the digital age, not newly hatched fembots.
posted by Bookhouse at 4:29 PM on January 28, 2009

I agree, there seems to be an overall assumption of lack of intelligence and worldliness merely because they are shallow.

Their values include the need for a rich boyfriend, it doesn't mean they haven't watched a lot of movies.

They are playing the blog for laughs, but the underlying reality is true.
posted by MythMaker at 4:38 PM on January 28, 2009

This is assuming that they know what a "Kentucky" is.

$20, same as in town.
posted by drezdn at 6:01 PM on January 28, 2009 [9 favorites]

Or if you were just using part of my comment as a jumping off point, my bad...

....Yeah, a jumping-off point is what I was doing, actually. And as to why I didn't quote the whole thing, I was just....using one bit as a jumping-off point.

This group is made up of a former magazine writer, an editor and a lawyer. I suspect that they can write. I mean, hell, the blog is writing. They may be shallow, but they are certainly literate.

Not all writing is art. It's technical skill, yeah, but not "art" as such.

And if these are women with careers, then for me that's another notch in the "fake" column -- why would you pass yourself off as someone leeching off another if you are accomplished enough to maintain a career as a lawyer, unless you're trying to generate some buzz for a book idea you've got?
posted by EmpressCallipygos at 6:10 PM on January 28, 2009

Even granting your point, ruthless, calculating personal ambition isn't typically ranked among one of the higher social skills, no matter how sophisticated these "skills."

I wasn't addressing the moral aspects of this particular game. Merely stating that being a successfully manipulator involves some fairly sophisticated social skills, especially in a cut-throat, competitive dating market like this one.

In fact, the DSM-IV identifies parasitism as characteristic of the antisocial personality disorders.

From time to time, lots of people are sad. Does that mean that they're suffering from a Major Depressive Episode? By the same token, many people are scheming, nasty and manipulative. But are they sociopaths? Nah. Just immoral and unpleasant.
posted by jason's_planet at 6:13 PM on January 28, 2009

Mere hotness isn't enough.

Mere hotness isn't enough to do...what?

To win this particular dating/mating game.

Let me put it to you this way: There are many attractive women in Hollywood. Are they all movie stars?
posted by jason's_planet at 6:22 PM on January 28, 2009

Good luck ladies. Line forms in the rear, but you already know that.
posted by chance at 6:35 PM on January 28, 2009

This whole DABA thing smacks of little girls playing dress up in Oprah's heels rather than their mommy's closets.

I immediately contacted ImprovEverywhere to see if a mission couldn't be made from it.

That said, I am in awe of these bitches - the only thing worse than reading about them would be having to be one of them.

I strongly encourage anyone who has issues with this kind of nonsense to take some time to donate time/money to your local domestic violence shelter.

The more people who see this and turn away, preferably to something life-affirming, altruistic and caring, the more we can live in a society that's satire-proof.
posted by Lipstick Thespian at 7:10 PM on January 28, 2009

Let me put it to you this way: There are many attractive women in Hollywood. Are they all movie stars?

Uh. You seem to be working from the presumption that every physically attractive woman in New York is in competition for these guys -- or, more to the point, their money. My guess is this is not so. Mind you, this is just a guess! But I'm getting kind of a weird PDA vibe off you, so perhaps the sky is a slightly different color in your world.
posted by kittens for breakfast at 7:33 PM on January 28, 2009

(PUA, even. PDA is more like what happens when PUA works. Which, you know. Good luck with that, Captain Fedora.)
posted by kittens for breakfast at 7:44 PM on January 28, 2009

I only hope that Americans' fondness for guns means a class revolution instead, as bloody and terrible as that would be. To paraphrase, Up against the Wall Street, Motherfuckers.

Yeah, well, I hope somebody decides to shoot your ilk.
posted by Mr. President Dr. Steve Elvis America at 8:08 PM on January 28, 2009

....Yeah, a jumping-off point is what I was doing, actually. And as to why I didn't quote the whole thing, I was just....using one bit as a jumping-off point.

Well, I don't have a problem with it being a jumping off point. Call me picky or whatever, but what I was saying what annoyed me about your comment is I don't particularly like it when people take things that aren't there with what I'm saying to make their argument. I'm taking umbrage at the fact that rather than making it sound like a jumping off point, your quoting and wording put words in my mouth and muddying what I was actually saying and it's a bit annoying to be arbitrarily put into a position that I wasn't taking at all. If you want to make an argument fine, but don't make one where there isn't one. In fact you do the exact same thing in your second "jumping off point" of partially quoting Mythmaker by bringing up this mythical "art" argument of yours.

I mean, Mythmaker can speak for him or herself, but it seems like neither of us are arguing these women are making art or contributing greatly modern discourse. In fact Mythmaker seems to be agreeing with you in follow up comments. If you want to talk about the actual merit of what these women are doing fine, but don't create opposition where there isn't one.
posted by kkokkodalk at 8:12 PM on January 28, 2009

I...honestly am not sure how you thought I was making a direct attack, kkokkodalk, but whatever I did to cause that impression, my apologies.

Although, it does beg the question that I'm a bit at sea as to what caused you to SAY what you said, if I have apparently misinterpreted it so horribly.
posted by EmpressCallipygos at 8:19 PM on January 28, 2009

You seem to be working from the presumption that every physically attractive woman in New York is in competition for these guys -- or, more to the point, their money.

Uh, no. Not in the least. That has no resemblance at all to anything I've said or thought.

But I'm getting kind of a weird PDA vibe off you,

Wow. That has to be one of the craziest fucking things I've ever read on MetaFilter.
posted by jason's_planet at 8:27 PM on January 28, 2009

I can formally attest that I have met Jason's_planet and that he did not strike me as an adherant to the PUA philosophy. For the record, if it helps.

Although, also for the record, jason's planet, I'm also not sure I follow your attractiveness-of-women-in-various-areas argument....can we recap?
posted by EmpressCallipygos at 8:33 PM on January 28, 2009

Thank you. I appreciate that.

The thing is, he seems to think that mere attractiveness is enough for these gold-diggers to win this particular mating/dating game. I assert that this is not the case. Social skills count as well.

There are quite a few attractive women in this city, some of whom choose to participate in this particular dating/mating game. There are only so many single, male Wall Street types out there. Not every would-be gold-digger can succeed in winning one of these men. The competition is just too fierce.

The Hollywood reference was a reference to the film industry and the intense competition involved in succeeding as an actor. There are a limited sum of opportunities to make it as an actor in Hollywood. For every potential opening, I'm sure that there are hundreds of really attractive people who could do the role. But looks alone aren't enough.
posted by jason's_planet at 8:56 PM on January 28, 2009

No. Marrying A Banker would probably take some skills -- be able to schmooz, talk small talk with his corporate masters, etc.. This is Dating A Banker, and for every starring role, there is plenty of room for well-toned but hapless understudies.
posted by Durn Bronzefist at 9:11 PM on January 28, 2009

Yeah, well, I hope somebody decides to shoot your ilk.

Whatever it takes for the lulz.
posted by Blazecock Pileon at 9:20 PM on January 28, 2009 [2 favorites]

"Yeah, well, I hope somebody decides to shoot your ilk."

Aww. Wuz you widdle feewings hurt?
posted by klangklangston at 10:02 PM on January 28, 2009 [2 favorites]

Yeah, they've snagged a book (and perhaps movie) deal, but once the shitty film has played three weeks in theaters and then gone to remaindered DVD who's going to remember them?

My heart really bleeds for you, gold-digging little twats.
posted by brujita at 10:25 PM on January 28, 2009

...once the shitty film has played three weeks in theaters and then gone to remaindered DVD who's going to remember them?

The tweens who stay up late at a sleepover to watch it on the movie channel and then later grow to love it in an ironic way for its camp appeal.

Or was that rhetorical?
posted by ODiV at 10:34 PM on January 28, 2009 [2 favorites]

Wow. That has to be one of the craziest fucking things I've ever read on MetaFilter.

Oh, read MORE. Seriously. At any rate, I...guess I see what you were going for? Though it still kind of seems to me you're lionizing these guys (who now really are just like everybody else -- which is to say, broke as a fucking joke), who are just people, and generally kind of average people outside of their bank accounts, and between that and all the talk of games and players and Hollywood, well, there you go. When someone places con artists and gold diggers on a pedestal, it kind of makes that person look like he admires con artists and gold diggers, you know?
posted by kittens for breakfast at 4:25 AM on January 29, 2009

No these people are not like everyone else. They now have to wait a week or two before buying their Prada boots. Yes, I'm sure there are some that have legitimately lost everything. I can almost guarantee they aren't the ones posting to a site like DABA - that would be too disgraceful to admit (even if anonymously). The ones we're reading are the ones that are inconvenienced. They still won't be setting foot in a Kohls or even Macys (If its not Nordstroms or boutique, its crap!). They may only be able to attend yoga 4 days of the week now, instead of the 6 they did before, just so they can skimp a little to ensure they keep their $200 raki sessions afterward... These folks raked in cash and lived a life which most people wouldn't even do on vacation... Assuming they even saved 5% of what they made, the impact on their lives is superficial...

Whereas, the Main Street reality (in any country) is something a little bleak.
posted by Nanukthedog at 5:07 AM on January 29, 2009

Now, I ain't saying they're...uh...golddiggers, but they ain't messin' with no broke-uh, broke-uh, broke...
posted by jonp72 at 7:17 AM on January 29, 2009

My heart really bleeds for you, gold-digging little twats.

Dude. Your issues are showing.
posted by Bookhouse at 8:19 AM on January 29, 2009

When someone places con artists and gold diggers on a pedestal, it kind of makes that person look like he admires con artists and gold diggers, you know?

Right.

If you're not calling them a bunch of evil, stupid, gold-digging whores, you're lionizing them, you're putting them on a pedestal.

Got it.
posted by jason's_planet at 9:52 AM on January 29, 2009

If you're not calling them a bunch of evil, stupid, gold-digging whores, you're lionizing them, you're putting them on a pedestal.

Hey man, either you're with us, or you're against us. Pick a side.
posted by Blazecock Pileon at 10:17 AM on January 29, 2009 [1 favorite]

If you're not calling them a bunch of evil, stupid, gold-digging whores, you're lionizing them, you're putting them on a pedestal.

Well, there's this crazy thing where you could just identify them as people. To hear you tell it, these women possess some supernatural attributes that allow them to snare their elusive and clearly selective prey. I think it's more a case of "hot girl goes after shallow guy for his money." They're not dumb whores any more than these guys are some kind of sultans or something. Why would such a guy settle down with one of these women over another? Well, you know, why does anybody: The condom broke. His mom liked her. Whatever.
posted by kittens for breakfast at 10:50 AM on January 29, 2009

Well kittens, I dunno about NY, but in Dallas...where we have these type of women in veritable gaggles, one doesn't *settle down* with that type. These are trophy mistresses, not wives. That's not the creature you want dropping off your kids at school, or going to the PTA, or making soup when you have the flu.

The men who make the mistake of marrying one of them are instant outcasts. You can't take those women where the wives will go. For nothing is more beautifully brutal that a wife in a room with a trophy. Nothing.
posted by dejah420 at 11:09 AM on January 29, 2009 [2 favorites]

Did The New York Times Get Punked?

Excellent takedown. Go NPR. Notes the domain was apparently registered on January 16, even though it has entries dated as far back as September, and no comments before Monday.
posted by CunningLinguist at 11:31 AM on January 29, 2009 [6 favorites]

Nice find, CunningLinguist.

You may be able to fool the NYT, but some nerd on the internet somewhere knows you're a dog.
posted by grapefruitmoon at 11:40 AM on January 29, 2009

Well, there's this crazy thing where you could just identify them as people.

Um...kittens for breakfast, I think that's what jason's_planet trying to say in the first place.
posted by EmpressCallipygos at 12:17 PM on January 29, 2009

Very suspicious - so maybe the whole thing is fake, then. Hmmmm.
posted by MythMaker at 12:28 PM on January 29, 2009

Um...kittens for breakfast, I think that's what jason's_planet trying to say in the first place.

Yeah, but no. If so, he was Doing It Wrong. But anyhow, on with the day (NYT punked? But...but it can't be!).
posted by kittens for breakfast at 12:49 PM on January 29, 2009

Yeah, but no. If so, he was Doing It Wrong.

....I took this:

"Right. If you're not calling them a bunch of evil, stupid, gold-digging whores, you're lionizing them, you're putting them on a pedestal. Got it."

....as sarcasm. Was it not?
posted by EmpressCallipygos at 12:59 PM on January 29, 2009

....I took this:

[comment]

....as sarcasm. Was it not?

It was.
posted by jason's_planet at 1:07 PM on January 29, 2009

Gah! Thanks, CL.
posted by brujita at 2:12 PM on January 29, 2009

''Dating A Banker Anonymous': Did The New York Times Get Punk'd?'
posted by kosem at 7:09 AM on January 30, 2009

(sorry CL....) Didn't catch that.
posted by kosem at 7:27 AM on January 30, 2009

Can the Jumping of the Bankers commence, now? With all useless this navel gazing, I have to ask: We were further along than this in 1930, weren't we?

Sadly, while professional web-snarkers make light of the "plight" of the rich, real people have seen fit to actuallykill themselves and their families over job losses. Eerily similar to The Ballad of Hollis Brown.
posted by Devils Rancher at 7:59 AM on January 30, 2009

Sadly, while professional web-snarkers make light of the "plight" of the rich, real people have seen fit to actuallykill themselves and their families over job losses.

We...weren't really discussing the bankers themselves, though. The snark was for people whom we perceived to be taking advantage of said bankers.
posted by EmpressCallipygos at 8:40 AM on January 30, 2009

Am I the only one who wants to be rich enough to date women like this, even though these are obviously fake? maybe i'm crazy, but being rich and getting laid like a brick because of it has sort of always been the dream. wonderful women who treat you well are great, but they're rare and sometimes they come with bad sex. i should think everyone deserves at least one dating experience that's all about great sex. everyone is calling these fictional characters "whores" like it's a bad thing.
posted by shmegegge at 9:06 AM on January 30, 2009

Well, what's your theory about why the sex would be good?
posted by grobstein at 10:34 AM on January 30, 2009

because these women know what side of their bread the butter's on?
posted by shmegegge at 10:53 AM on January 30, 2009

because these women know what side of their bread the butter's on?

More like they know what side of their butt the breeder's on, amirite?
posted by Floydd at 4:00 PM on January 30, 2009 [1 favorite]

> what this is is Marxist propaganda designed to foment violent revolution, the 21st century equivalent of those 19th century posters
> depicting fat men with top hats and monocles feeding on the blood of the working class. Its purpose is to inspire us to put these
> fucking vampires up against a wall once and for all.

(slips flattened opera hat into pizza box.) ALL POWER TO THE PEOPLE!
posted by jfuller at 7:10 PM on January 30, 2009

The professional writers behind the site are priming the pump. They are writing satire. They hoped to get women less savvy about satire to write in with their actual whining about the evaporation of unearned privilege.

That was the ultimate plan, to generate a continuing flow of whining to put on display for two simultaneous audiences, the one that gets the satire and the one that unwittingly provides the grist. Think about how long it took you to decide it was insincere, and then think about how long it could take for the targets of the satire to clue in.

It was a good plan. Way to ruin it for us, NPR.
posted by NortonDC at 9:27 AM on January 31, 2009 [2 favorites]

I can't speak to the NY context, but I think your stereotype needs updating.

I'm late replying, but since I live in NYC and *can* speak to the context, no updating is necessary.

I had the unfortunate bad luck to have to live on the UES for 6 months about 3 years back. Never, ever again.
posted by fourcheesemac at 7:02 PM on January 31, 2009

Someone at NPR thinks Metafilter has been Punk'd.
posted by mecran01 at 4:44 PM on February 12, 2009

The Times stood by the story.

Today Newsweek debunks.
posted by CunningLinguist at 7:43 AM on February 25, 2009 [3 favorites]