Comments on: "Don't have a thetan, dude."

"Don't have a thetan, dude."

Joe Beese — Fri, 30 Jan 2009 16:17:32 -0800

Bart Simpson is known for prank calls, but Nancy Cartwright, who provides Bart's voice on "The Simpsons," has been heard this week in a phone message using the voice of the cartoon fourth-grader to promote Scientology.

By: rokusan

rokusan — Fri, 30 Jan 2009 16:20:30 -0800

So what? Don't have an engram, man.

By: mrzarquon

mrzarquon — Fri, 30 Jan 2009 16:22:33 -0800

This is why I am a futurama fan instead.

By: billysumday

billysumday — Fri, 30 Jan 2009 16:22:37 -0800

Scientology is stupid. I think that sums that up.

By: Inspector.Gadget

Inspector.Gadget — Fri, 30 Jan 2009 16:23:01 -0800

Dick move.

By: poppo

poppo — Fri, 30 Jan 2009 16:25:02 -0800

Eat my thetans

By: strangeleftydoublethink

strangeleftydoublethink — Fri, 30 Jan 2009 16:26:49 -0800

I would like to know more about the religion of Butterfinger bars. Please send pamphlets.

By: Dumsnill

Dumsnill — Fri, 30 Jan 2009 16:26:54 -0800

I will never promote scientology again I will never promote scientology again I will never promote scientology again I will never promote scientology again I will never promote scientology again I will never promote scientology again I will never promote scientology again I will never promote scientology again ...

By: newfers

newfers — Fri, 30 Jan 2009 16:27:16 -0800

Couldn't anybody do a Bart Simpson voice? What I mean to say is, fire her, replace her, problem solved.

By: niles

niles — Fri, 30 Jan 2009 16:27:55 -0800

Bart's a fourth grader? Huh. Learn something new everyday. never "endorsed any religion, philosophy or system of beliefs any more profound than Butterfinger bars."? Nancy should be good.

By: Afroblanco

Afroblanco — Fri, 30 Jan 2009 16:27:55 -0800

Wow, maybe this will mean they'll finally put an end to the Simpsons, instead of the current macabre cycle whereby they dig up its decayed corpse once a week in order to bury it again. naaaaaah. Those guys got alimony to pay.

By: JimmyJames

JimmyJames — Fri, 30 Jan 2009 16:30:06 -0800

You seem agitated about all of this, perhaps a Free Stress Test will help you find the source of that frustration.

By: ericb

ericb — Fri, 30 Jan 2009 16:30:30 -0800

Howard Stern plays the robocall.

By: giraffe

giraffe — Fri, 30 Jan 2009 16:31:36 -0800

Remember that noise Bart made when he ingested the free jagged metal Krusty O? Yeah, that's the noise I'm making right now.

By: ericb

ericb — Fri, 30 Jan 2009 16:33:53 -0800

"Longtime Scientologist Nancy Cartwright -- best known as the voice of Bart Simpson -- last year gave the church $10 million to help spread the word of founder L. Ron Hubbard into other galaxies. It was all part of Scientology's Global Salvage effort, which aims to 'de-aberrate' Earth -- meaning to rid mankind of psychology ills and other 'aberrant' behavior. Surprisingly, Nancy, 50, forked over twice as much as the Scientology's most prominent member, Tom Cruise, who only gave $5 million in an installment plan."^*

By: DecemberBoy

DecemberBoy — Fri, 30 Jan 2009 16:35:10 -0800

Not that big of a surprise, after all, Bart has a history of involvement with ridiculous cults. I wonder why there was never any Isaac Hayes-style fallout from Cartwright over the Movementarians episode? Was she not a member then? It wasn't as blatant as the "Trapped In The Closet" episode of South Park, but it was pretty clear what they were parodying. The "Dear Leader" unmistakably looked exactly like Hubbard.

By: Rumple

Rumple — Fri, 30 Jan 2009 16:35:18 -0800

At least one of the Simpsons seems to have an abnormally-wide, upper tooth in the centre of their smile.

By: Joe Beese

Joe Beese — Fri, 30 Jan 2009 16:35:27 -0800

ericb: "Howard Stern plays the robocall ." For those of who you don't speak Scientology: OT VII is, like, heavy shit.

By: orme

orme — Fri, 30 Jan 2009 16:36:46 -0800

Moe's tavern. How can I help ya? Hi, I'm looking for a Mr. Demen, first name Xenu? Hold on, I'll check. Hey guys! I'm looking for Xenu Deemen! Where's zee nude men? Hey wait a minute, you little puke! When I get my hands on you, I'm gonna audit you 'till yer thetan bleeds! You hear me?! /sorta works

By: dunkadunc

dunkadunc — Fri, 30 Jan 2009 16:36:54 -0800

Easy Solution: 1. Simpsons writers write an episode making fun of scientologists, their first new idea in ten years. 2. Nancy Cartwright quits in a huff. 3. Then write an episode, complete with awkward spliced-together dialogue from previous episodes, in which Bart goes crazy. Despite Milhouse's best attempts, Bart falls off a cliff.

By: ericb

ericb — Fri, 30 Jan 2009 16:37:54 -0800

'Bart Simpson' records Scientology ad; producer responds

"Scientologist Nancy Cartwright, who does the voice of Bart Simpson on 'The Simpsons,' has recorded a message in the voice of the iconic animated character promoting the controversial quasi-religious organization. Cartwright recorded the pitch (audio) for a robocall to boost turn-out for a Scientology event at the organization's Hollywood center. Though she takes care to identify herself by her real name and not her character, she uses the Bart voice at a few points in the recording. 'This is not authorized by us,' said 'Simpsons' executive producer Al Jean. ''The Simpsons' does not, and never has, endorsed any religion, philosophy or system of beliefs any more profound than Butterfinger bars.' (Okay, it's not Jean's wittiest line). The move is not only unauthorized, of course, but almost certainly violates Cartwright's contract. Though Fox is remaining mum on the subject, and their legal department is very much looking into the matter, the 'Simpsons' characters are owned by Fox. Sure, Scientology is a non-profit group (ahem), but it doesn't matter (a Fox vs. the Church of Scientology lawsuit over the misuse of Bart Simpson? Oh-please, oh-please, oh-please...)."

By: Joe Beese

Joe Beese — Fri, 30 Jan 2009 16:39:03 -0800

Easier Solution: 1. Poochie Returns!

By: Blazecock Pileon

Blazecock Pileon — Fri, 30 Jan 2009 16:39:37 -0800

Maybe they could fire Cartwright and hire Billy West to do Bart's voice like Ren Hoek's.

By: dunkadunc

dunkadunc — Fri, 30 Jan 2009 16:39:52 -0800

And by all rights, Scientology's very existence (along with Schwarzenegger being elected governor) should be a sign of out impending demise. It feels like it should all be out of some dystopian novel or something.

By: ericb

ericb — Fri, 30 Jan 2009 16:39:57 -0800

FOX News: Will the Voice of Bart Simpson Get In Trouble for 'Unauthorized' Scientology Call?

By: Joe Beese

Joe Beese — Fri, 30 Jan 2009 16:41:43 -0800

Metafilter: the Mecca of Technical Perfection

By: gman

gman — Fri, 30 Jan 2009 16:42:20 -0800

It all makes sense now.

By: cell divide

cell divide — Fri, 30 Jan 2009 16:42:36 -0800

This really doesn't bother me all that much. She's a kook, but she's also the voice of a cartoon on TV, so let her be one.

By: Astro Zombie

Astro Zombie — Fri, 30 Jan 2009 16:43:59 -0800

This is why you should not make crazy people into millionaires. They give the money to bad organizations.

By: joe lisboa

joe lisboa — Fri, 30 Jan 2009 16:44:02 -0800

But cell divide, that's, like, copyright infringement, man!

By: rtha

rtha — Fri, 30 Jan 2009 16:45:15 -0800

a Fox vs. the Church of Scientology lawsuit Better ramp up popcorn and lawn chair production.

By: BrotherCaine

BrotherCaine — Fri, 30 Jan 2009 16:53:13 -0800

I have some criticisms of Scientology which my lawyer has edited for me. To say that Scientology is a [REDACTED] rather than a [REDACTED] ignores the reality that it is basically a group of organized [REDACTED] whose central mission is to identify the [REDACTED] and [REDACTED] their money [REDACTED] of helping them better themselves.

By: BrotherCaine

BrotherCaine — Fri, 30 Jan 2009 16:54:32 -0800

I fail at editing jargon apparently, redacted=censored.

By: Marisa Stole the Precious Thing

Marisa Stole the Precious Thing — Fri, 30 Jan 2009 16:56:28 -0800

Who keeps the metric system down? Who controls the British crown? We do! We do!

By: Dumsnill

Dumsnill — Fri, 30 Jan 2009 16:58:35 -0800

This comment is so important that I can't post it until someone makes me an ASCII art sofa I can jump on.

By: Joe Beese

Joe Beese — Fri, 30 Jan 2009 17:01:59 -0800

Marisa Stole the Precious Thing: "We do! We do!" If you're ever tempted to underestimate the potency of evil possessed by this organization, just remind yourself of this fact: They successfully muscled off the IRS. The IRS. There's a "Church of Scientology" en route to our favorite sushi place and I get a chill up my spine passing it each way.

By: Horace Rumpole

Horace Rumpole — Fri, 30 Jan 2009 17:03:39 -0800

Longtime Scientologist Nancy Cartwright -- best known as the voice of Bart Simpson Before this phonecall, what exactly was she second-best known for?

By: Brocktoon

Brocktoon — Fri, 30 Jan 2009 17:04:22 -0800

Who makes Steve Gutenberg a star?

By: lometogo

lometogo — Fri, 30 Jan 2009 17:06:02 -0800

God bless Bart Simpson. God bless Nancy Cartwright. God bless L. Ron Hubbard. God bless each and everyone who loves or is upset by any or all of the above. America, what a frickin´ riot, ya gotta love it.

By: dunkadunc

dunkadunc — Fri, 30 Jan 2009 17:07:53 -0800

There's a "Church of Scientology" right down the road from my place, too, I discovered. I'm a little disturbed.

By: Marisa Stole the Precious Thing

Marisa Stole the Precious Thing — Fri, 30 Jan 2009 17:08:13 -0800

If you're ever tempted to underestimate the potency of evil possessed by this organization, just remind yourself of this fact: They successfully muscled off the IRS. The one thing that puts my mind at ease about the CoS is knowing that they're giving /b/tards something to do besides raid Habbo Hotel.

By: krautland

krautland — Fri, 30 Jan 2009 17:08:34 -0800

so what? I tell people I call about something I want who I am all the time. scientology sucks but to remind people who she is and what she is known for is legit.

By: theroadahead

theroadahead — Fri, 30 Jan 2009 17:09:33 -0800

Before this phonecall, what exactly was she second-best known for? Marrying the guy that co-created the Destroyer series?

By: fearfulsymmetry

fearfulsymmetry — Fri, 30 Jan 2009 17:09:51 -0800

Note: Bart died on the way back to his home planet

By: DecemberBoy

DecemberBoy — Fri, 30 Jan 2009 17:11:42 -0800

If you're ever tempted to underestimate the potency of evil possessed by this organization, just remind yourself of this fact: They successfully muscled off the IRS. The IRS. One of the suggestions for Obama on change.gov is to review Scientology's tax-exempt status. It had like 55,000 votes last time I looked. The persistent rumor, and of course there's no way to verify this, is that some OSA (Scientology's secret police) goons showed up at the office of a certain top IRS official with evidence, possibly even a videotape, showing that either the IRS guy himself or his son (accounts differ on the details) was fucking underage girls. Supposedly they were granted tax-exempt status very soon afterwards. If it hasn't been pulled yet again, a video exists of Miscavige at an IAS event positively gloating over being granted tax-exempt staus. It's pretty revealing.

By: fearfulsymmetry

fearfulsymmetry — Fri, 30 Jan 2009 17:14:44 -0800

Marrying the guy that co-created the Destroyer series? Oh no, he's not a scientologist too is he? I mean they were pulpy as all hell, but I loved the Destroyer series back in the day... I think something inside me just died a little.

By: Joe Beese

Joe Beese — Fri, 30 Jan 2009 17:14:52 -0800

DecemberBoy: "If it hasn't been pulled yet again, a video exists of Miscavige at an IAS event positively gloating over being granted tax-exempt staus. It's pretty revealing." Transcript, with commentary

By: krinklyfig

krinklyfig — Fri, 30 Jan 2009 17:15:57 -0800

"The move is not only unauthorized, of course, but almost certainly violates Cartwright's contract." Yep. I'd bet money on that. I don't have a problem if she wants to give all her money to some wacky cult (although it's foolish and dangerous), but she is bound by terms and did not create Bart Simpson, nor does she own any rights to the character.

By: krinklyfig

krinklyfig — Fri, 30 Jan 2009 17:24:06 -0800

"And by all rights, Scientology's very existence (along with Schwarzenegger being elected governor) should be a sign of out impending demise. It feels like it should all be out of some dystopian novel or something." Doomsday and other assorted cults have been with us for a very long time. So have utterly ridiculous leaders.

By: Aquaman

Aquaman — Fri, 30 Jan 2009 17:24:36 -0800

The move is not only unauthorized, of course, but almost certainly violates Cartwright's contract. Though Fox is remaining mum on the subject, and their legal department is very much looking into the matter, the 'Simpsons' characters are owned by Fox. Much later, it was generally agreed that the Scientology/Fox Wars only precipitated the inevitable scouring of the Earth's crust down to the mantle.

By: Lentrohamsanin

Lentrohamsanin — Fri, 30 Jan 2009 17:28:40 -0800

but she is bound by terms and did not create Bart Simpson, nor does she own any rights to the character. In her fucking awful book, My Life as a Ten Year Old Boy, she brings up several times the fact that she is explicitly not allowed to use Bart's voice to say anything that wasn't written for the show and/or approved by Fox, so if you're interviewing her for college radio or something, don't ask her to do IDs as Bart, etc. She also doesn't talk about Scientology in the book, saying her beliefs are her own business. Guess she's changed her mind on both fronts.

By: Joe Beese

Joe Beese — Fri, 30 Jan 2009 17:38:49 -0800

Lentrohamsanin: "She also doesn't talk about Scientology in the book, saying her beliefs are her own business. Guess she's changed her mind on both fronts." Well, now that Cruise - realizing his few remaining high-earning years were at risk if he didn't - has forced himself to shut up about the bridge LRH built for all of us to achieve total knowingness, I guess one of the B-listers had to pick up the slack.

By: troybob

troybob — Fri, 30 Jan 2009 17:39:08 -0800

Isn't the Bart Simpson voice her actual voice?

By: jeffburdges

jeffburdges — Fri, 30 Jan 2009 17:42:56 -0800

Does does this mean the the Simpsons has jumped the couch? Or just another step in the steeplechase?

By: BrotherCaine

BrotherCaine — Fri, 30 Jan 2009 17:55:07 -0800

Isn't the Bart Simpson voice her actual voice? No

By: diogenes

diogenes — Fri, 30 Jan 2009 17:59:43 -0800

It feels like it should all be out of some dystopian novel or something. Seriously. I can't get over the fact that Scientology is real.

By: The corpse in the library

The corpse in the library — Fri, 30 Jan 2009 18:07:47 -0800

dunkadunc: "There's a "Church of Scientology" right down the road from my place, too, I discovered. I'm a little disturbed." Don't we all have Scientology places near us? I've got one just a mile thatta way.

By: giraffe

giraffe — Fri, 30 Jan 2009 18:21:36 -0800

One of my best friends lives right down the street from the Scientology celebrity center. They send out memos when they're having party things basically saying, "Hi, we're going to annoy you all night. Deal with it." Ugh. Yeah, okay, there have been a lot of lame doomsday cults out there, but not many of them have celebrities on TV telling mentally ill people that that their medication is unnecessary. That is why the CoS can go screw off. Beck excluded, of course.

By: MegoSteve

MegoSteve — Fri, 30 Jan 2009 18:30:32 -0800

Before this phonecall, what exactly was she second-best known for? When I was a kid, there was this TV movie on about a clumsy girl with poor eyesight who was abandoned by her mother to a state institution for the mentally retarded where she was sterilized against her will. Nancy Cartwright was in that.

By: ericb

ericb — Fri, 30 Jan 2009 18:32:09 -0800

Before this phonecall, what exactly was she second-best known for? The tuba-playing 'Muffin' on the '80s television series Fame (two episodes)?

By: ericb

ericb — Fri, 30 Jan 2009 18:33:20 -0800

Her website (with credits).

By: The Card Cheat

The Card Cheat — Fri, 30 Jan 2009 19:04:19 -0800

> Beck excluded, of course. Beck's dead to me. I can't listen to him anymore without thinking "He sounds clever and talented, but he's a fucking Scientologist."

By: Joey Michaels

Joey Michaels — Fri, 30 Jan 2009 19:16:50 -0800

In Beck's defense, he was born into Scientology. The poor little guy never had a chance.

By: rokusan

rokusan — Fri, 30 Jan 2009 19:22:48 -0800

Don't we all have Scientology places near us? I've got one just a mile thatta way. Yes, they're everywhere. (Shiver.)

By: TheOnlyCoolTim

TheOnlyCoolTim — Fri, 30 Jan 2009 19:58:40 -0800

One of the suggestions for Obama on change.gov is to review Scientology's tax-exempt status. It had like 55,000 votes last time I looked. Since then it's gotten harder to look, so here's the Change.gov results. So damn transparent that I had to work around a redirect and look at source just to find them. I doubt anything will be done about the tax exemption. Besides whatever juice they have, they'd spin it as a threat to tax exemptions for every religion and shut that idea down right quick.

By: Smedleyman

Smedleyman — Fri, 30 Jan 2009 20:08:22 -0800

Ay Carumba, R2-45

By: middleclasstool

middleclasstool — Fri, 30 Jan 2009 20:46:04 -0800

R2-45 Oh, that's just fucking gold.

By: nakedcodemonkey

nakedcodemonkey — Fri, 30 Jan 2009 21:40:46 -0800

Before this phonecall, what exactly was she second-best known for? Getting her first period in the back seat of the getaway car in The Legend of Billie Jean, d'oh.

By: sanskrtam

sanskrtam — Fri, 30 Jan 2009 21:59:13 -0800

Need more rickrolling at some major scientology center

By: dhartung

dhartung — Fri, 30 Jan 2009 22:39:34 -0800

Don't we all have Scientology places near us? Nearest to me is Milwaukee -- but then we've got a Sequoia Academy approved as a public charter school.

By: flapjax at midnite

flapjax at midnite — Fri, 30 Jan 2009 22:39:53 -0800

I for one welcome our new Bart-voiced Scientology overlor-- ah, nevermind.

By: Pope Guilty

Pope Guilty — Fri, 30 Jan 2009 22:50:13 -0800

She was in the Twilight Zone movie, you philistines!

By: rodgerd

rodgerd — Sat, 31 Jan 2009 00:34:03 -0800

Yeah, okay, there have been a lot of lame doomsday cults out there, but not many of them have celebrities on TV telling mentally ill people that that their medication is unnecessary. Of course, more mainstream religions work to undermin AIDS eradication, suggest homosexuals are a disease who need to be eradicated, hide Nazis in the south of France, or cover decades of child rape, amongst other charming practises. So, you know, maybe they're hoping to become respectable by behaving badly.

By: AppleSeed

AppleSeed — Sat, 31 Jan 2009 04:48:06 -0800

By: unSane

unSane — Sat, 31 Jan 2009 05:39:57 -0800

Coming soon to a movie theater near you: the actor who plays a cartoon character becomes a cartoon character in real life.

By: Eideteker

Eideteker — Sat, 31 Jan 2009 07:23:01 -0800

"In Beck's defense, he was born into Scientology. The poor little guy never had a chance." Hey, man, I was born into Catholicism, which as cults go has been around far longer, and I recovered just fine.

By: Brian B.

Brian B. — Sat, 31 Jan 2009 08:15:52 -0800

By: MCMikeNamara

MCMikeNamara — Sat, 31 Jan 2009 08:20:03 -0800

Q: Why was their no fallout from Cartwright when The Simpsons parodied her religion like South Park and Isaac Hayes? A: Cartwright salary $$$$$$$$$$$ > Hayes Scientology is f'd up but like the majority of religions and cults it will die out in a couple of generations.

By: Marisa Stole the Precious Thing

Marisa Stole the Precious Thing — Sat, 31 Jan 2009 08:40:14 -0800

I think at this point they can just fire Cartwright and use the archives of Bart Simpson dialogue to cobble together whatever speaking roles are written for him in future episodes.

By: lupus_yonderboy

lupus_yonderboy — Sat, 31 Jan 2009 09:29:32 -0800

I don't like Scientology, not one bit, but this is a very clever move on Cartwright's part with good timing. 1. They definitely won't fire her for one offense. so she gets to do it once "for free". (They might fine her but she has to be worth millions by now...) 2. By now, everyone who cares knows she's a Scientologist, so it's not like she's "coming out". 3. The show's in the "familiarity breeds contempt" zone - I'll bet that Fox and many of the execs are secretly very pleased to get the free publicity (though I imagine Mr. Groening's pretty disgusted...)

By: bitteroldman

bitteroldman — Sat, 31 Jan 2009 09:33:32 -0800

think at this point they can just fire Cartwright and use the archives of Bart Simpson dialogue to cobble together whatever speaking roles are written for him in future episodes. That true - especially since a lot of the newer episodes are just re-hashed versions of the older episodes. Cripes, the new episodes suck so bad! That being said, Nancy also does the voices of Rod and Todd Flanders, as well as Nelson Muntz (who's character I can't stand, but I might be in the minority here)

By: Lentrohamsanin

Lentrohamsanin — Sat, 31 Jan 2009 09:44:59 -0800

Ralph Wiggum too.

By: googly

googly — Sat, 31 Jan 2009 10:20:51 -0800

I guess the combination of LOLScientology and a Simpsons reference is guaranteed to get big yucks on MeFi, but this is still a crappy single-link post to a minor Yahoo news item.

By: middleclasstool

middleclasstool — Sat, 31 Jan 2009 10:29:17 -0800

In trying to figure out how so many celebrities are caught up in this, a friend insists joining has to be a "career move". I don't know if I agree (how many directors, producers, and studio owners are members?), but it's hard to imagine they are all true believers. There've been some rumors that some members who have second thoughts are held in check by blackmail -- remember, part of reaching "clear" involves going over every dark and disturbing thought or impulse or experience you ever had. It's built-in crowd control -- what's that, famous actor? You're beginning to think this is weird or we don't conduct ourselves in an ethical manner? Hey, remember that time we were running your engrams and you told me about that guy you blew in college when you were high, and how you're really not gay but you kind of liked the thrill of walking the other side of the line? Man, I'm sure honored that you trusted me with that information. Probably the more common answer is that their more famous members are shielded from the realities of working class people practicing their religion. Celebrities get stuff comped all the time, so they don't ever experience the real expense of making it to clear or OT, so they never have that horrible thought of wondering how real people pay for it. And CoS really wines and dines celebrities to get them to join up. I remember how sad I was when I saw Will Smith joined, and heard him talk about how compatible it was with Christianity -- you know, all the aliens and nuclear bombs and volcanoes they talk about in Leviticus. But I guess dude doesn't know about that stuff, and probably won't find out until it's too late, if at all.

By: Rumple

Rumple — Sat, 31 Jan 2009 11:59:08 -0800

There've been some rumors that some members who have second thoughts are held in check by blackmail -- remember, part of reaching "clear" involves going over every dark and disturbing thought or impulse or experience you ever had. It's built-in crowd control -- what's that, famous actor? You're beginning to think this is weird or we don't conduct ourselves in an ethical manner? Hey, remember that time we were running your engrams and you told me about that guy you blew in college when you were high, and how you're really not gay but you kind of liked the thrill of walking the other side of the line? Man, I'm sure honored that you trusted me with that information. not unlike confession in the Catholic Church....

By: TheOnlyCoolTim

TheOnlyCoolTim — Sat, 31 Jan 2009 12:04:01 -0800

To their credit, though, the Catholic Church does have the Seal of the Confessional and it's taken very seriously.

By: Liquidwolf

Liquidwolf — Sat, 31 Jan 2009 18:21:39 -0800

'Scientology" even sounds like a fake cult from the Simpsons. Like something Lionel Hutz or Troy McClure would have been a member of. "Hi, I"m Troy McClure! You might remember me from such educational films as 'L Ron Hubbard: Auditor of the Universe' , and 'The Thetan who saved Christmas'."

By: Smedleyman

Smedleyman — Sat, 31 Jan 2009 20:25:33 -0800

"remember, part of reaching "clear" involves going over every dark and disturbing thought or impulse or experience you ever had." So Mr.Smedleyman, what's the darkest thing in your mind. 'About 99 percent of the time, I'm really holding myself back from killing anyone near me.' '...Do....uh....Do you want to kill me right now?' 'Yes.' 'How, uh, is there some measure of..' 'Very badly.' 'I see...Uh...' 'Especially with folks who endanger others or use force inappropriately or unethically. I particularly have a hard time not killing them. Usually I have to hit a heavy bag for several hours.' 'Ah. Well perhaps Scientology isn't for you...uh' 'What? I thought you said you could help me?' 'Ok, uh, calm down there...we have a program called R2-45, would you kill people who are suppressive personalities? 'What!? I'd never harm an innocent person. Are you trying to piss me off?' 'Uh, no, just uh...heh, joking there.' "Don't we all have Scientology places near us?" Closest proselytizing religion to me is the Jehovah's witnesses. Although I do occasionally tell them I'm a scientologist or I'm a tlamacazqui of Teotl (typically I get a 'what's that' and a nice throat swallow when I mention Aztec - Last time I was eating a blood orange, which when peeled has kind of a ghoulish look to it if you don't know what it is. Asked if they were there for Tozoztontli - when we give the blood of our captives to the Earth. Those people don't even believe in blood transfusions. Yeah, that was a nice day. They haven't been back.)

By: zengargoyle

zengargoyle — Sat, 31 Jan 2009 22:26:46 -0800

I roll around on the ground and beg Xenu to take the deamons out of my head... works pretty well.

By: SheMulp AKA Plus 1

SheMulp AKA Plus 1 — Sat, 31 Jan 2009 23:04:44 -0800

Getting her first period in the back seat of the getaway car in The Legend of Billie Jean, d'oh. posted by nakedcodemonkey at 12:40 AM on January 31 [+] [!] you're thinking of Yeardley Smith she dose Lisa's voice.

By: tehloki

tehloki — Sat, 31 Jan 2009 23:24:48 -0800

The existence of stuff like this reinforces my belief that Scientology is a big joke perpetrated by the rich and famous. Then I remember the people it has killed, and I'm not so sure.

By: BlackLeotardFront

BlackLeotardFront — Sun, 01 Feb 2009 21:15:29 -0800

By now there are surely Bart Simpson imitators who can take her job and do it for a tenth of the price. Or they could pull a Marvel and just kill Bart, only to bring him back to life in a few issues/episodes.