Congregational Copulation.
February 1, 2009 5:13 PM Subscribe
Rev. Ed Young challenged husbands and wives among his flock of 20,000 to strengthen their unions through Seven Days of Sex (perhaps FF to 2:15 on either video). Their site has a comment section.
He was recently on The Colbert Report (Canadian version).
But if you make the time to have sex, it will bring you closer to your spouse and to God, he has said. You will perform better at work, leave a loving legacy for your children to follow and may even prevent an extramarital affair.
He was recently on The Colbert Report (Canadian version).
But if you make the time to have sex, it will bring you closer to your spouse and to God, he has said. You will perform better at work, leave a loving legacy for your children to follow and may even prevent an extramarital affair.
The next step, I hear, is Seven Days of Oral Sex. To which the women in his flock said, "Mmmmpphmmmph!'
posted by jamstigator at 5:32 PM on February 1, 2009 [5 favorites]
posted by jamstigator at 5:32 PM on February 1, 2009 [5 favorites]
I haven't read the articles yet. Does the sex have to be with each other?
posted by miss lynnster at 5:34 PM on February 1, 2009 [3 favorites]
posted by miss lynnster at 5:34 PM on February 1, 2009 [3 favorites]
Actually, it's a massive seven-uninterrupted-day-congregational orgy.
posted by gman at 5:36 PM on February 1, 2009
posted by gman at 5:36 PM on February 1, 2009
The next step, I hear, is Seven Days of Oral Sex. To which the women in his flock said, "Mmmmpphmmmph!'
Wait, so were those supposed to be moans of pleasure from the women? Because I'm assuming the man has to be seriously up to the task as well. Otherwise, no deal dammit.
posted by miss lynnster at 5:36 PM on February 1, 2009 [5 favorites]
Wait, so were those supposed to be moans of pleasure from the women? Because I'm assuming the man has to be seriously up to the task as well. Otherwise, no deal dammit.
posted by miss lynnster at 5:36 PM on February 1, 2009 [5 favorites]
Keep a glass of water handy.
posted by stinkycheese at 5:41 PM on February 1, 2009 [1 favorite]
posted by stinkycheese at 5:41 PM on February 1, 2009 [1 favorite]
Does the sex have to be with each other?
Yeah. I seem to recall him strongly encouraging abstinence among the unmarried members of his flock at the same time as making this sex challenge to the married ones. And part of the goal is to prevent extramarital affairs.
posted by Caduceus at 5:42 PM on February 1, 2009
Yeah. I seem to recall him strongly encouraging abstinence among the unmarried members of his flock at the same time as making this sex challenge to the married ones. And part of the goal is to prevent extramarital affairs.
posted by Caduceus at 5:42 PM on February 1, 2009
"Does the sex have to be with each other?"
"And Onan knew that the seed should not be his; and it came to pass, when he went in unto his brother’s wife, that he spilled it on the ground, lest that he should give seed to his brother. "
posted by mr_crash_davis mark II: Jazz Odyssey at 5:57 PM on February 1, 2009
"And Onan knew that the seed should not be his; and it came to pass, when he went in unto his brother’s wife, that he spilled it on the ground, lest that he should give seed to his brother. "
posted by mr_crash_davis mark II: Jazz Odyssey at 5:57 PM on February 1, 2009
Does the sex have to be with each other?
Yes. The Rev helpfully tells the unmarried members of his flock to "I don’t know, try eating chocolate cake.”
Not to single out this particular congregation, but I'm saddened by the dismissive attitude toward singles among Protestant fundamentalists (of whom I am one). How must the never married/divorced/widowed people in that church feel?
posted by orrnyereg at 6:01 PM on February 1, 2009
Yes. The Rev helpfully tells the unmarried members of his flock to "I don’t know, try eating chocolate cake.”
Not to single out this particular congregation, but I'm saddened by the dismissive attitude toward singles among Protestant fundamentalists (of whom I am one). How must the never married/divorced/widowed people in that church feel?
posted by orrnyereg at 6:01 PM on February 1, 2009
How must the never married/divorced/widowed people in that church feel?
Horny?
posted by Caduceus at 6:03 PM on February 1, 2009 [4 favorites]
Horny?
posted by Caduceus at 6:03 PM on February 1, 2009 [4 favorites]
How must the never married/divorced/widowed people in that church feel
Saddlebacked.
posted by Brandon Blatcher at 6:06 PM on February 1, 2009 [2 favorites]
Saddlebacked.
posted by Brandon Blatcher at 6:06 PM on February 1, 2009 [2 favorites]
But if you make the time to have sex, it will bring you closer to your spouse and to God, he has said. You will perform better at work...
Just make sure to close the office door first or HR will get upset.
posted by DU at 6:06 PM on February 1, 2009
Just make sure to close the office door first or HR will get upset.
posted by DU at 6:06 PM on February 1, 2009
His proposal was mentioned in one of the articles in this FPP I did a while back.
I'm not a practicing christian, but as long as the message emphasizes consent and enjoyment (rather than the "wifely submission" of the good old days) I'm all for this fad in religion. Less Paul, more Gnostics, perhaps.
posted by Forktine at 6:14 PM on February 1, 2009
I'm not a practicing christian, but as long as the message emphasizes consent and enjoyment (rather than the "wifely submission" of the good old days) I'm all for this fad in religion. Less Paul, more Gnostics, perhaps.
posted by Forktine at 6:14 PM on February 1, 2009
from the comments...
Hi Ed,
I'm 18, & a college student..I LOVE ur sermons. My church is silent about sex & datin. All we hear is 'DONT DO IT"..My parents also treat sex like da biggest secret in da world but your sermons and teachings are so open & honest. they inspire me 2 keep myself in complete purity till marriage, & 2 view marriage and the marriage bed as sacred. I plan 2 have BIG SEX, not little sex.and also to more open to my kids about sex..God bless u & continue 2 b honest...
When I was 18, we didn't need our clergyman to encourage us to have big sex. We encouraged ourselves just fine, thank you very much.
[chases kid off lawn]</small?
posted by Joe Beese at 6:14 PM on February 1, 2009
Hi Ed,
I'm 18, & a college student..I LOVE ur sermons. My church is silent about sex & datin. All we hear is 'DONT DO IT"..My parents also treat sex like da biggest secret in da world but your sermons and teachings are so open & honest. they inspire me 2 keep myself in complete purity till marriage, & 2 view marriage and the marriage bed as sacred. I plan 2 have BIG SEX, not little sex.and also to more open to my kids about sex..God bless u & continue 2 b honest...
When I was 18, we didn't need our clergyman to encourage us to have big sex. We encouraged ourselves just fine, thank you very much.
[chases kid off lawn]</small?
posted by Joe Beese at 6:14 PM on February 1, 2009
When I was eighteen and a college student, I knew that 2 was a fucking number, and that the letter u is not a personal pronoun. Fuck.
posted by Caduceus at 6:17 PM on February 1, 2009 [28 favorites]
posted by Caduceus at 6:17 PM on February 1, 2009 [28 favorites]
I'm thinking that alot of problems with organized religion could be alleviated if members were all fucking a bit more.
posted by ColdChef at 6:19 PM on February 1, 2009 [4 favorites]
posted by ColdChef at 6:19 PM on February 1, 2009 [4 favorites]
The screen capture on the strengthen their unions link makes me wonder what his O-face looks like.
posted by not_on_display at 6:20 PM on February 1, 2009 [2 favorites]
posted by not_on_display at 6:20 PM on February 1, 2009 [2 favorites]
That comment makes me glad that I started having sex at 16, that my mom give me a great big biology book at 13 that covered puberty and sex, and that I learned basic syntax.
posted by The Whelk at 6:23 PM on February 1, 2009 [1 favorite]
posted by The Whelk at 6:23 PM on February 1, 2009 [1 favorite]
I plan 2 have BIG SEX, not little sex.
Sex with a giant?
But, as a group, more power to 'em!
posted by cbp at 6:26 PM on February 1, 2009
Sex with a giant?
But, as a group, more power to 'em!
posted by cbp at 6:26 PM on February 1, 2009
I plan 2 have BIG SEX, not little sex.
Sex with a giant?
Snu snu.
posted by dirigibleman at 6:32 PM on February 1, 2009 [8 favorites]
Sex with a giant?
Snu snu.
posted by dirigibleman at 6:32 PM on February 1, 2009 [8 favorites]
When I was eighteen and a college student, I knew that 2 was a fucking number, and that the letter u is not a personal pronoun. Fuck.
What was your position vis a vis lawns?
posted by DU at 6:38 PM on February 1, 2009 [8 favorites]
What was your position vis a vis lawns?
posted by DU at 6:38 PM on February 1, 2009 [8 favorites]
Pretty sure this is a double.
posted by hermitosis at 6:38 PM on February 1, 2009
posted by hermitosis at 6:38 PM on February 1, 2009
Hopefully it's a multiple.
posted by gman at 6:40 PM on February 1, 2009 [1 favorite]
posted by gman at 6:40 PM on February 1, 2009 [1 favorite]
This seems like the third or fourth time that some church has gotten lots of publicity for encouraging sex in the last year or so. Except that this is nothing new. The Catholic Church teaches that as long as the act is open to conception, God smiles upon it. Sex between Jewish spouses is considered a mitzvah.
It's great to encourage couples to keep the passion going, but it's not really news. Let me know when they stop demonizing pre-marital sex. It's really offensive that sex with my devoted then-girlfriend, now-fiancee, soon-wife has been considered "wrong" for the past 4 years, but magically in 4 months, it'll be swell.
posted by explosion at 6:44 PM on February 1, 2009
It's great to encourage couples to keep the passion going, but it's not really news. Let me know when they stop demonizing pre-marital sex. It's really offensive that sex with my devoted then-girlfriend, now-fiancee, soon-wife has been considered "wrong" for the past 4 years, but magically in 4 months, it'll be swell.
posted by explosion at 6:44 PM on February 1, 2009
But if you make the time to have sex, it will bring you closer [...] to God
"And the LORD said, thou shalt sayeth this to thy spouse: 'I wanna fuck you like an animal...'"
The Gospel of Reznor, 22:13
posted by DecemberBoy at 6:49 PM on February 1, 2009 [7 favorites]
"And the LORD said, thou shalt sayeth this to thy spouse: 'I wanna fuck you like an animal...'"
The Gospel of Reznor, 22:13
posted by DecemberBoy at 6:49 PM on February 1, 2009 [7 favorites]
Aw man, there was probably a good "Council of Trent" joke to make there too. Pretend I did that.
posted by DecemberBoy at 6:50 PM on February 1, 2009 [7 favorites]
posted by DecemberBoy at 6:50 PM on February 1, 2009 [7 favorites]
Onan pulled out, refusing to impregnate his dead brother's wife.
posted by Pope Guilty at 7:00 PM on February 1, 2009 [1 favorite]
posted by Pope Guilty at 7:00 PM on February 1, 2009 [1 favorite]
Doesn't every married couple have sex every day of the week?
posted by SteveTheRed at 7:07 PM on February 1, 2009
posted by SteveTheRed at 7:07 PM on February 1, 2009
Metafilter: Mmmmpphmmmph
posted by Hands of Manos at 7:21 PM on February 1, 2009 [3 favorites]
posted by Hands of Manos at 7:21 PM on February 1, 2009 [3 favorites]
From the comment section:
The challenge really broke down barriers for my wife and me. It truly has and will be a blessing.
The challenge is/ has broken down barriers like we never have. It truly is a blessing.
The challenge has broken down barriers for my wife and I. We are so greatful for the church's leadership. Thanks.
The challenge has broken down barriers between my wife and I. It has been life changing.
I detect comment padding.
posted by mrbill at 7:48 PM on February 1, 2009 [1 favorite]
The challenge really broke down barriers for my wife and me. It truly has and will be a blessing.
The challenge is/ has broken down barriers like we never have. It truly is a blessing.
The challenge has broken down barriers for my wife and I. We are so greatful for the church's leadership. Thanks.
The challenge has broken down barriers between my wife and I. It has been life changing.
I detect comment padding.
posted by mrbill at 7:48 PM on February 1, 2009 [1 favorite]
Once again, The Onion beats reality to the punch. Language NSFW if your work sweats the eff-word.
posted by chinese_fashion at 8:08 PM on February 1, 2009 [1 favorite]
posted by chinese_fashion at 8:08 PM on February 1, 2009 [1 favorite]
This sort of sex challenge has been making the rounds of the born again churches. I think it is some kind of gimmick to get more physical pleasure, rather than any real attempt at achieving more personal intimacy etc. It gets press too. Jeez, how pathetic is your church if you need to sell it like Rupert Murdoch sells page three?
posted by caddis at 8:30 PM on February 1, 2009
posted by caddis at 8:30 PM on February 1, 2009
What was your position vis a vis lawns?
Honestly, I'd rather have a zen sand garden, but kids should definitely stay off of it.
posted by Caduceus at 8:31 PM on February 1, 2009
Honestly, I'd rather have a zen sand garden, but kids should definitely stay off of it.
posted by Caduceus at 8:31 PM on February 1, 2009
When I was eighteen and a college student, I knew that 2 was a fucking number, and that the letter u is not a personal pronoun. Fuck.
When I was eighteen and a college student, I knew that 2 was a number, but I didn't realize that it was a fucking number. I've heard about 69, but not 2. Why 2 and not 3? What does it stand for? What have I been missing out on all these years?
posted by eye of newt at 10:09 PM on February 1, 2009 [1 favorite]
When I was eighteen and a college student, I knew that 2 was a number, but I didn't realize that it was a fucking number. I've heard about 69, but not 2. Why 2 and not 3? What does it stand for? What have I been missing out on all these years?
posted by eye of newt at 10:09 PM on February 1, 2009 [1 favorite]
I knew that 2 was a number, but I didn't realize that it was a fucking number. I've heard about 69, but not 2. Why 2 and not 3? What does it stand for? What have I been missing out on all these years?
Number 2 is a fucking number, but only for some people.
posted by DecemberBoy at 10:23 PM on February 1, 2009
Number 2 is a fucking number, but only for some people.
posted by DecemberBoy at 10:23 PM on February 1, 2009
"I'm thinking that alot of problems with organized religion could be alleviated if members were all fucking a bit more."
One of the sex positive message boards I frequent has a 24 hour challenge. The goal is to have sex during each of the 24 hours (spread over many days not all at once). It can take quite a while to get 1AM through 6AM for your average double income with kids couple..
"Except that this is nothing new. The Catholic Church teaches that as long as the act is open to conception, God smiles upon it."
Bill Cosby had a great bit back in the 70s about this. Something about him wanting a dozen kids and if his wife refused him he'd take her straight to the pope to get his way.
posted by Mitheral at 10:47 PM on February 1, 2009
One of the sex positive message boards I frequent has a 24 hour challenge. The goal is to have sex during each of the 24 hours (spread over many days not all at once). It can take quite a while to get 1AM through 6AM for your average double income with kids couple..
"Except that this is nothing new. The Catholic Church teaches that as long as the act is open to conception, God smiles upon it."
Bill Cosby had a great bit back in the 70s about this. Something about him wanting a dozen kids and if his wife refused him he'd take her straight to the pope to get his way.
posted by Mitheral at 10:47 PM on February 1, 2009
"I'm thinking that alot of problems with organized religion could be alleviated if members were all fucking a bit more less."
You see, it the fucking that begets new members.
posted by chillmost at 3:48 AM on February 2, 2009
You see, it the fucking that begets new members.
posted by chillmost at 3:48 AM on February 2, 2009
Religious leaders have always attempted to control sex-- it is just another way of increasing power over others. In this case, the minister is using sex as a carrot rather than the more usual stick. Every act of connubial bliss strengthens the ties these couple have to this church. Pleasure becomes associated with Christianity. The singles are also that much more encouraged to wed into this church because the pay off is seen as that much more explicit and gratifying. Sex every day-- particularly when you are having no sex at all-- appears the ultimate prize. In fact, sex every day might even be seen as more enticing than heaven.
posted by Secret Life of Gravy at 6:32 AM on February 2, 2009 [1 favorite]
posted by Secret Life of Gravy at 6:32 AM on February 2, 2009 [1 favorite]
To the OP: Thank you for the Canadian link. I think Comedy Central and The Comedy Network should fuck for the next seven days so that this ludicrous geo-restriction shit ends.
posted by purephase at 8:08 AM on February 2, 2009
posted by purephase at 8:08 AM on February 2, 2009
Meanwhile 4chan is having the 'fapless february challenge.' What is the world coming to?
posted by mullingitover at 10:52 AM on February 2, 2009
posted by mullingitover at 10:52 AM on February 2, 2009
So, what are these people, pandas?
posted by Smedleyman at 11:01 AM on February 2, 2009 [1 favorite]
posted by Smedleyman at 11:01 AM on February 2, 2009 [1 favorite]
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