Your 1-ply helmet will be USELESS

February 11, 2009 8:31 PM

Are you ready for the digital transition?

Rob Cockerham walks you through the steps of preparing your tin-foil helmet for the digital transition.

posted by fontophilic (22 comments total)

MetaFilter's going digital?
posted by mazola at 8:35 PM on February 11

B-B-B-U-T THEY HAVE ALREADY STARTED DTV BROADCASTS HERE IN SAN FRANCISCO!!!!! BUT HE SAYS I HAVE UNTIL JUNE 12 TO MAKE THIS CONVERTOR BOX. I DON'T UNDERSTAND!!!!!!
posted by bottlebrushtree at 8:36 PM on February 11

I still say that there will be some old immigrant couple sitting in front of a suddenly snowy Panasonic saying "What happen to Dick Van Dyke? He die?"
posted by jonmc at 8:38 PM on February 11 [1 favorite]

Don't worry about digital television broadcasts being used in the past. They would need a time machine, which are mathematically impossible to create.
posted by fontophilic at 8:39 PM on February 11

Fuck that. I keep my head in a Faraday cage.

Also, pushing back the deadline may wind up keeping local PBS here off the air for four months. So thanks, government.
posted by middleclasstool at 8:41 PM on February 11 [1 favorite]

BEWARE OF COMMERCIAL AFDBS: Since you should trust no one, always construct your Aluminum Foil Deflector Beanie yourself to avoid the risk of subversion and mental enslavement. Sometimes, AFDBs will be sold on places like eBay. Do not purchase these pre-made AFDBs, even if the seller seems trustworthy. They may contain backdoors, pinholes, integrated psychotronic circuitry or other methods that actually promote mind control.
posted by netbros at 8:48 PM on February 11

cockeyed.com: completely unfunny. you suck rob.
posted by livingdots at 9:09 PM on February 11

Does this mean I have to buy a TV first?
posted by idiotfactory at 9:26 PM on February 11

Almost as funny as Alex Jones.
posted by Pants! at 9:36 PM on February 11

Sorry, tinfoil hatters. I've always used lead. Obviously more effective. I line my St. Louis Cardinals baseball cap with lead foil so no one will think I'm a tinfoil hatter.

I use a little mercury ointment for adhesive purposes (easy to get via antique eBay medical ointments) to make sure I end up as a simple mad hatter, rather than a garden-variety conspiracy theorist.
posted by kozad at 9:37 PM on February 11

Hah, this "light sharpener" is wild.
posted by delmoi at 9:42 PM on February 11 [1 favorite]

cockeyed.com: Crass, inspired, contrived Adsense-bait — cash4gold, Kirby vacuums, factory outlets, Herbalife, credit cards, and the masterpiece that is the Levitra couches.
posted by blasdelf at 9:47 PM on February 11

Cool; I was wondering what to do with the aluminum foil on those rabbit ears.
posted by crapmatic at 11:47 PM on February 11 [1 favorite]

I am convinced that the digital converter boxes contain recording devices. And I listen to Alex Jones on the radio nearly every day of the week (he's not transmitting on Saturday). Strangely enough, I have never worn tin foil on my head.
posted by Curry at 12:36 AM on February 12

The President has been kidnapped by ninjas.

Are you a bad enough dude to rescue the president?
posted by Marisa Stole the Precious Thing at 12:47 AM on February 12

Is it wrong that I found that guy kind of hot?
posted by heyho at 1:05 AM on February 12

Maybe if one buys those HD Vision sunglasses they can pull the Neo-TV right out of the air!
posted by RubberHen at 2:19 AM on February 12

Love cockeyed, but this one wasn't all that great. Rob does not suck.
posted by orme at 5:02 AM on February 12

My favorite thing about Rob is how he always tries to look as crazy as possible in all his pictures.
posted by bluishorange at 8:20 AM on February 12

And here I was hoping that someone was going to tell me that funding had been restored to the rebate program and I would finally get off the endless waiting list for my $40.
posted by Rhomboid at 11:53 AM on February 12

You know how they give everyone $40? And you know how somehow DTV boxes seem to start at a little over $40? That's what we call an economic stimulus.
posted by TheOnlyCoolTim at 1:15 PM on February 12

Does this mean I have to buy a TV first?

Ding ding ding! We have a winner! There had to be one person just aching to let the world know that they don't own a TV.
posted by DieHipsterDie at 4:57 PM on February 12 [1 favorite]