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February 22, 2009 4:05 AM   Subscribe

Where India is the new Home of all Dreams! No matter what your orientation is, if you have the money (and are willing to be good parents) and take care of the child, then we have a place for you.
posted by hadjiboy (4 comments total) 2 users marked this as a favorite

 
This is a really loaded issue for me, having just lost a child and not able to carry another one. Thank you for this post, I am really interested in coming to a better understanding of this. Adoption and surrogacy here in the States are almost financially prohibitive for me (and it seems unfair), but of course compassion and ethics have a very important role.
posted by bunnycup at 6:58 AM on February 22, 2009


It is a loaded topic isn't it bunnycup... on one hand you have the women who use their wombs to carry the kids, in return for whatever money they get, and on the other hand you have excited mums waiting to hold their new born children. The only problem is when the mother who's carrying the child becomes attached to it--then what. Money's already been exchanged, and the deal's already been struck... what now. You can't blame the doctor's for what they are doing because they're helping both the expectant mom's, and the women carrying the children who will be rewarded with the money. And the women carrying these kids will of course form an attachment towards them so ignoring their concerns isn't going to help either. I just wish this country had enough money to take care of it's women so that they wouldn't have to look for such job's in order to earn an extra-living.

Women doing this just as a community service seem to be the best bet. Helping women out who can't bear their own children to fulfill their long-lost desire in actually trying to have kids of their own--now can--and will, if they want.
posted by hadjiboy at 10:05 AM on February 22, 2009


I was thinking about it when they were talking about the suddenly-doubled charges and the un-enforceable nature of the contracts under Indian law. As the parent assuming care for the child, you are truly backed against a wall. To you, it's your CHILD - so they have almost limitless ability to double the charge, add fees, etc., which from your links would seem to go right into the pockets of the AGENCY, with no share to the women who carried and delivered the child. If it were a couch, or a car - you'd just cancel the deal, chargeback on the credit card, sue or whatever. But not if it's your child.

I can't figure out my moral compass on the issue - one woman in the links reports that the US$7,000 she will earn is equivalent to 15 years of her husband's salary, allowing them to provide education, healthy living situations, etc. for their children and potentially lifting the family from the cycle of poverty, possible debt servitude, etc. And with my circumstances, I sympathize so deeply with the families who want their own genetic children. I lean personally on the side of adoption rather than surrogacy (in part because my mother, a family lawyer, has told me that here in PA the laws on enforcement of surrogacy contracts are unclear and can result in years of litigation over parental rights, anyway, and in part because adoption is a beautiful, wonderful act of love).

So, are those families who consider surrogacy through these methods the exploiters, or are the doctors running the nurseries the exploiters? And as compared to the agency, it seems like both the families and the women carrying the children are victims of exploitation - of different kinds of course. Is it exploitation at all, or is it within the realm of reason, not so far off from egg donation and so forth? I find that most times, articles and discussions of this issue assume that is obvious to me, but I'm just not sure.
posted by bunnycup at 10:19 AM on February 22, 2009


Nice catch there bunnycup, at first I was mad at the Doctors for carrying out these kinds of operations, and charging huge sums of money for them, compared to what you earn in India at least, and then I thought may be I was being too hard on the doctors. But you're right, they are to blame for this, if anyone at all, and the only one who I can see getting completely screwed up are the women who are willing to carry these babies, and the one's who come to them for help, because if thing's don't go according to plan, like the girl/baby who was supposed to go to Japan, and is now being taken care of by her grand-mother, are stuck in a vortex of legal hurdles: neither hear, nor there.
posted by hadjiboy at 4:09 AM on February 23, 2009


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