Comments on: NEW WAY OF DRIVING ALL GREEN

NEW WAY OF DRIVING ALL GREEN

rageagainsttherobots — Mon, 02 Mar 2009 05:46:46 -0800

Scott Summit, a self-anointed solution engineer and life hacker, shows you how to beat the traffic system at its own game.

By: rageagainsttherobots

rageagainsttherobots — Mon, 02 Mar 2009 05:58:10 -0800

This video is obviously satire, but you know there has got to be somebody out there who actually followed through with these methods.

By: Benny Andajetz

Benny Andajetz — Mon, 02 Mar 2009 06:07:07 -0800

Damn right, Ron Jeremy (Legend).

By: Postroad

Postroad — Mon, 02 Mar 2009 06:08:17 -0800

I have viewed this video and approve of it's being posted --Rush Limbaugh

By: middleclasstool

middleclasstool — Mon, 02 Mar 2009 06:17:12 -0800

That went on a bit too long, but yeah, any morning that starts with a cameo appearance by Ron Jeremy's a good one.

By: criticalbill

criticalbill — Mon, 02 Mar 2009 06:19:19 -0800

I'm so tired of being at red How can you mend a broken light?

By: Mister_A

Mister_A — Mon, 02 Mar 2009 06:20:44 -0800

The key is to drive like a taxi driver.

By: DU

DU — Mon, 02 Mar 2009 06:27:07 -0800

The fat guy counting stacks of cash with the word "TRAFFIC" on his shirt. Yes. I owe it to this video to watch the rest for that alone.

By: 0xdeadc0de

0xdeadc0de — Mon, 02 Mar 2009 06:29:14 -0800

I believe that speeding helps me get to work faster, but I haven't been able to prove it mathematically. My reasoning is this: I'm more likely to be beat the light if I speed, but if I don't, I must wait at the light, which is what I would have done anyway. This video has taught me to be more empirical.

By: orme

orme — Mon, 02 Mar 2009 06:35:43 -0800

Infinite Solutions, anyone? I thought the intro was going to end up being the whole video, with like ten seconds devoted to the "hack".

By: DU

DU — Mon, 02 Mar 2009 06:40:15 -0800

It is a little Infinite Solutionsesque, except those tips were completely non-factual. Scott's Summitations are real, but overblown (as many, if not all, "life hacks" are). (I used the plural in the full expectation that you freeloaders will buy his terrible tshirts to fund a new video.)

By: swift

swift — Mon, 02 Mar 2009 06:43:55 -0800

Oh, so that's what a traffic light is. Thanks for the link.

By: sonic meat machine

sonic meat machine — Mon, 02 Mar 2009 06:44:34 -0800

I take a Zen attitude. If the light turns yellow and there is enough room for me to stop, I stop. Then I wait for two minutes, and then I continue on my way.

By: Mister_A

Mister_A — Mon, 02 Mar 2009 06:54:50 -0800

swift, like you, I thought those things were alien death rays. It really was a most useful wikipedia link and not at all post-paddy.

By: krilli

krilli — Mon, 02 Mar 2009 07:03:53 -0800

I'm favoriting this post because I am thankful for being pointed to the lavish Wikipedia entry on traffic lights. I wouldn't have thought to look.

By: iconjack

iconjack — Mon, 02 Mar 2009 07:05:12 -0800

Oh, so that's what a traffic light is. Thanks for the link. Ha. I always think the same thing when I see a link like that in Wikipedia. Wait, you're on the internet reading an encyclopedia article on Pete Sampras, in English, and you need a link to United States of America?

By: DU

DU — Mon, 02 Mar 2009 07:09:09 -0800

Yeah, Wikipedia would be better if it were more like paper, which is to say unhyperlinked.

By: digsrus

digsrus — Mon, 02 Mar 2009 07:17:07 -0800

I'm Driving All Green and everyone I come into contact with appreciates me for the wonderful person that I am.

By: The White Hat

The White Hat — Mon, 02 Mar 2009 07:30:00 -0800

I tend to take red lights as they come, but I make up for it by Tokyo drifting EVERYWHERE.

By: Orange Pamplemousse

Orange Pamplemousse — Mon, 02 Mar 2009 07:31:08 -0800

Save gas, hack the crosswalk button.

By: bjrn

bjrn — Mon, 02 Mar 2009 07:36:05 -0800

To be fair, the Wikipedia article points out the weakness in the system: it doesn't take dynamically controlled lights into account!

By: George_Spiggott

George_Spiggott — Mon, 02 Mar 2009 07:39:26 -0800

I believe that speeding helps me get to work faster, Speeding toward a green light might improve your odds, but speeding toward a red slows everyone down. On my morning drive the lights are synchronized and I know how fast I have to drive to get all the greens for some pretty long stretches. But quite often I end up behind somebody who speeds to the front of the queue and has to stop, and then they do it for every successive light, forcing everyone behind them to stop as well.

By: Mister_A

Mister_A — Mon, 02 Mar 2009 07:47:24 -0800

Just leave more following distance between you and the offender, George.

By: clavdivs

clavdivs — Mon, 02 Mar 2009 07:50:13 -0800

...a 360 degree ring-mounted LM wouldnt hurt...

By: George_Spiggott

George_Spiggott — Mon, 02 Mar 2009 07:50:26 -0800

Doesn't work. The distances involved typically aren't large enough, and if I drive slower, other cars get in front an just increase the size of the stopped queue. Cars don't move off in unison, they do it one at a time.

By: Afroblanco

Afroblanco — Mon, 02 Mar 2009 07:50:45 -0800

tragedies of our modern age : the existence of Twitter the popularization, use, and overuse of "life hack" and "life hacker" "What are you doing right now?" "Asking the kids to get off my lawn."

By: dirigibleman

dirigibleman — Mon, 02 Mar 2009 07:54:47 -0800

"life hacker" Lizzie Borden?

By: PeterMcDermott

PeterMcDermott — Mon, 02 Mar 2009 08:03:07 -0800

I'm Driving All Green and everyone I come into contact with appreciates me for the wonderful person that I am. I'm Driving Al Green and some of my customers get a little pissed because, regardless of where they wanna go to, I Take Them To The River

By: Kirth Gerson

Kirth Gerson — Mon, 02 Mar 2009 08:04:17 -0800

I didn't see ANY traffic in that video. His system must work really well! He sort of left out the part about driving to work during bank hours, though. I think my boss may need some persuading on that one.

By: cptnrandy

cptnrandy — Mon, 02 Mar 2009 08:37:59 -0800

I'm Driving All Yellow, which is superior to All Green. Just because I like living on the edge.

By: sswiller

sswiller — Mon, 02 Mar 2009 08:38:34 -0800

Gosh, the video makes it seem so easy. I don't know why everybody doesn't do it. :/

By: DU

DU — Mon, 02 Mar 2009 08:59:08 -0800

It seems like if you have a chauffeur and a laptop, you wouldn't really care if you have to wait at lights.

By: StickyCarpet

StickyCarpet — Mon, 02 Mar 2009 09:02:36 -0800

...but I haven't been able to prove it mathematically. I've had the impression that when driving from Long Island to Manhattan, starting the trip after the worst part of rush hour will actually allow me to arrive before I would have have otherwise. I haven't been able to prove this either, though.

By: chookibing

chookibing — Mon, 02 Mar 2009 09:03:58 -0800

Did he put cream and sugar in the coffee pot? Damn, that's a gen-u-wine LifeHack(tm)!

By: Damn That Television

Damn That Television — Mon, 02 Mar 2009 09:06:38 -0800

It's like Infinite Solutions, by way of College Humor! The same idea, but half the production values, a fourth of the humor, a sixth of the acting, and ten times the smug self-satisfaction and smirking into the camera!

By: ricochet biscuit

ricochet biscuit — Mon, 02 Mar 2009 09:20:23 -0800

As far as comedy videos go, that was a long drive for a short day at the beach.

By: krinklyfig

krinklyfig — Mon, 02 Mar 2009 10:48:49 -0800

"The key is to drive like a taxi driver." You mean, take the longest route possible?

By: damn dirty ape

damn dirty ape — Mon, 02 Mar 2009 10:59:17 -0800

I believe that speeding helps me get to work faster, Not really. The guy who speeds next to me is usually the same guy I see at the next red light. Not only are you wasting gas, youre putting your life on the line and the lives of others just for the sake of not being 2 minutes late to work. In the morning I watch all these people bust through reds, cut people off, and generally act like assholes all for the sake of maybe getting to work a couple minutes earlier. Is your boss really impressed when it takes you 18 minutes instead of 20 to get to the office? The laws of diminishing returns is something to consider.

By: symbioid

symbioid — Mon, 02 Mar 2009 11:32:28 -0800

Heh, this poem my friend wrote for 7th grade "Language Arts" class (yeah, we were too cool to call it "English"): When the light turns red, you must stop, or you will get caught by a cop. When the light turns green, you must go, don't sit around like a buffalo. When the light turns yellow, do whatever the hell you want, I don't care. My 2 favorite parts of the video are the (spoiler alert!) "Yellow Fever" and the fact that to not stop at a light, he has to drive around the roundabout over and over to get the timing right. CLASSIC! Oh, and get your hands off the way I drive you damn dirty ape!

By: symbioid

symbioid — Mon, 02 Mar 2009 11:36:00 -0800

By: buzzv

buzzv — Mon, 02 Mar 2009 12:45:45 -0800

Mermen in the soundtrack. Fine.

By: pwnguin

pwnguin — Mon, 02 Mar 2009 13:02:02 -0800

Also, I know a guy in my WoW guild who is so geeky that he would do just this. Well, aside from the fact he's smart enough to know there's flaws in the idea, so he really wouldn't. But the whole planning and plotting details like that. Yeah, definitely his cup o' tea :) Very useful for boss encounters. My roommate wrote a program to calculate the optimal scheduling of his Moonkin. This sounds nerdy but his code was unreadable and in floating point when it shouldn't have been.

By: dirty lies

dirty lies — Mon, 02 Mar 2009 13:13:19 -0800

Me, I drive so damn fast I Doppler the mutherfucking red lights until they blueshift to green. Poster, you added a lame Wikipedia link, but you missed this masterpeice? Shame on you.