Comments on: BÅB, The Ikea Baby

BÅB, The Ikea Baby

Pants! — Sat, 07 Mar 2009 11:01:23 -0800

BÅB, The Ikea Baby (pdf) [via mefi projects]

By: barrett caulk

barrett caulk — Sat, 07 Mar 2009 11:15:26 -0800

i saw no instructions for the assembly of genitalia. is it available in both boy and girl?

By: l33tpolicywonk

l33tpolicywonk — Sat, 07 Mar 2009 11:18:45 -0800

So happy Pants! hit the mefi projects button. I think this was some impressive work.

By: liza

liza — Sat, 07 Mar 2009 11:21:13 -0800

the fact this was a gift for a friend makes me ridiculously jealous. it's fracking awesome!

By: radiosig

radiosig — Sat, 07 Mar 2009 11:22:01 -0800

while we're on about IKEA: KOM IN I GARDEROBEN

By: grobstein

grobstein — Sat, 07 Mar 2009 11:22:07 -0800

i saw no instructions for the assembly of genitalia. is it available in both boy and girl? Actually, Metafilter's own Albrecht works for the FBI Child Pornography Task Force. The family members expecting a baby is just a cover story. He's been waiting for someone like you to stumble into his trap and solicit child pornography, some Swedish-style pervo who gets off playing with cam locks. Say goodbye to your civil rights. This will go easier for you if you cooperate, "barrett caulk."

By: pyrex

pyrex — Sat, 07 Mar 2009 11:30:37 -0800

radiosig: "KOM IN I GARDEROBEN" How about nej.

By: pyrex

pyrex — Sat, 07 Mar 2009 11:33:22 -0800

Oh by the way, Pants!, this rules and I will be showing it to the rest of my family. If there's one things we Swedes love, it's making fun of how god damned Swedish Sweden really is.

By: Artw

Artw — Sat, 07 Mar 2009 11:38:54 -0800

Congratulations, Summer and Dev, whoever you are! Hope you got all the parts.

By: ~

Sat, 07 Mar 2009 11:40:24 -0800

How about nej. Oh, hell ja visst from me. To each their own. (If I just typed "to each according to their own, does that mean rightwing Sweden == evil commies propoganda is working?)

By: ~

Sat, 07 Mar 2009 11:41:50 -0800

By: East Manitoba Regional Junior Kabaddi Champion '94

East Manitoba Regional Junior Kabaddi Champion '94 — Sat, 07 Mar 2009 11:42:50 -0800

"barrett caulk." *caulks shotgun* OH FUCK MY SHOTGUN IS FULL OF CAULK

By: Ufez Jones

Ufez Jones — Sat, 07 Mar 2009 11:54:17 -0800

This is fantastic. The arm and leg assembly kind of reminded me of this DIY baby doll coat rack (which I am going to make....one of these days).

By: Blazecock Pileon

Blazecock Pileon — Sat, 07 Mar 2009 11:56:02 -0800

HOW IS BÅBBY FÖRMED?

By: cjorgensen

cjorgensen — Sat, 07 Mar 2009 12:17:11 -0800

I think I got two left legs and some extra screws.

By: grapefruitmoon

grapefruitmoon — Sat, 07 Mar 2009 12:43:19 -0800

I especially like the NOT LIKE THIS illustrations. I can imagine making an Ikea baby and looking back and realizing that the arms and legs were transposed and you're missing six screws and the cat looks awfully smug. Which is when you reach for the Ikea brand Vodka.

By: dirtynumbangelboy

dirtynumbangelboy — Sat, 07 Mar 2009 13:23:55 -0800

It's called Dürnk.

By: albrecht

albrecht — Sat, 07 Mar 2009 13:29:16 -0800

Hey, thanks everyone! The project was a lot of fun, and the mom-to-be seemed pleased with the result. I made an Instructable with some more detailed information on how I put it together, although it was all pretty simple. Just a couple days of cutting up baby models in 3dsmax plus a few more arranging everything in Illustrator and InDesign.

By: wg

wg — Sat, 07 Mar 2009 13:32:04 -0800

I happen to be picking up a crib from Ikea tomorrow. I didn't realize the kids could be picked up then as well. Ikea really does rock!

By: jonp72

jonp72 — Sat, 07 Mar 2009 13:54:46 -0800

KÅN I HÅZ BÅBBY? BÅBBY DEELISHUS LIKE CHEEZBURGER!

By: Sys Rq

Sys Rq — Sat, 07 Mar 2009 14:47:18 -0800

i saw no instructions for the assembly of genitalia. is it available in both boy and girl? I do recall Ikea once advertising the doggie version...

By: loquacious

loquacious — Sat, 07 Mar 2009 14:50:03 -0800

This is exactly what the world needs. Mass produced Ikea babies. No, seriously. With nearly 7 billion people on the planet we're going to have to figure out what to eat. Good job, Ikea!

By: needled

needled — Sat, 07 Mar 2009 14:52:13 -0800

jonp72, did you mean to say KÄN I HÄZ BÄBBY? BÄBBY DEELISHUS LIKE CHEEZBURGER! ?

By: ALongDecember

ALongDecember — Sat, 07 Mar 2009 15:10:30 -0800

So now I kno how babby formed

By: Sys Rq

Sys Rq — Sat, 07 Mar 2009 15:16:01 -0800

No, seriously. With nearly 7 billion people on the planet we're going to have to figure out what to eat. Good job, Ikea! Njuta du våra köttbullar? Gissa vad köttet.

By: aeschenkarnos

aeschenkarnos — Sat, 07 Mar 2009 15:32:39 -0800

Cute joke, but in the hopes of providing constructional criticism: the jointing makes no sense. The worst example is the toes, with five separate dowels to hold a small piece on. Also which pieces are provided whole and which made up of parts seems very arbitrary. This isn't IKEA, it's some Chinese knockoff where they haven't even gone to the trouble of disassembling an original.

By: PlusDistance

PlusDistance — Sat, 07 Mar 2009 15:56:19 -0800

Come on, aeschenkarnos, what do you want for $69.99? If you're looking for old-world craftsmanship, go to Pottery Barn. Or Eastern Europe. At least this one packs flat on your car. Saves on delivery charges, too.

By: albrecht

albrecht — Sat, 07 Mar 2009 16:41:51 -0800

The worst example is the toes, with five separate dowels to hold a small piece on. Also which pieces are provided whole and which made up of parts seems very arbitrary. You obviously know nothing about parenting.

By: zinfandel

zinfandel — Sat, 07 Mar 2009 16:44:48 -0800

I especially like the NOT LIKE THIS illustrations. I do too, especially since the baby looks like a chicken. And albrecht remembered to include all the languages!

By: Mister Moofoo

Mister Moofoo — Sat, 07 Mar 2009 16:44:58 -0800

"Different baby materials require different types of screws. Choose non-countersunk screws that are specially suited to the material in your baby." Man, is that ever good advice. Nothing worse than finding out you assembled your baby with the wrong kind of screws.

By: zinfandel

zinfandel — Sat, 07 Mar 2009 16:49:14 -0800

I assembled my baby with the wrong kind of screwing.

By: Mister Moofoo

Mister Moofoo — Sat, 07 Mar 2009 17:06:50 -0800

Screw that. (sorry)

By: flapjax at midnite

flapjax at midnite — Sat, 07 Mar 2009 17:23:29 -0800

Hope BÅB proves more durable than some of the stuff I've bought at IKEA, which has, um, you know, fallen apart.

By: Mister Moofoo

Mister Moofoo — Sat, 07 Mar 2009 17:31:39 -0800

Shaken bookshelf syndrome...

By: Spatch

Spatch — Sat, 07 Mar 2009 18:55:23 -0800

Aw man, I hate going to Ikea. I always go just thinking I'll grab some Swedish meatballs for lunch and that's it, and I come home with two or three baby kits and you know you only use them like once, maybe twice to impress the neighbors, and they get stored away in the dining room hutch with the coral-shaped wine rack and ambiguously-labelled salt and pepper shakers. It never fails.

By: availablelight

availablelight — Sat, 07 Mar 2009 19:01:31 -0800

I was terrified it was going to start dancing, once fully assembled.

By: monospace

monospace — Sat, 07 Mar 2009 23:14:23 -0800

Dancing Baby

By: drmarcj

drmarcj — Sun, 08 Mar 2009 10:06:50 -0800

I had a lot more fun "bulding" mine, as it were. (Sorry...)

By: lesChaps

lesChaps — Sun, 08 Mar 2009 11:20:25 -0800

This made my wife squeal in horror. Hooray! Mission accomplished, thank you Pants!