Flussssshhhhhh ...

March 8, 2009 9:35 AM

Two and a half pounds of carrots. Four complete chess sets. Three pounds of gummi bears. Eighteen large hot dogs. Three and a half pounds of grapes. Twenty golf balls. This toilet is awesome.

If you try this at home with your toilet, kids, you may need the help of Toiletology to unstop the works. You should also get a basic idea of How Toilets Work before flushing a blender full of plastic letters and numbers.

You might also enjoy learning about the history of the toilet. Stump your friends at the pub with some toilet trivia. And view the toilet of tomorrow!

There's an incredible new self-cleaning toilet that is the scourge of cokeheads everywhere. And did you know you can potty-train a cat? Spellbinding.

Finally: Mr. Bean uses the toilet.

posted by jbickers (45 comments total)

First link is a double.
posted by Horace Rumpole at 9:46 AM on March 8, 2009

Well, crap!
posted by jbickers at 9:52 AM on March 8, 2009 [6 favorites]

Large gummi bears? They come in sizes?
posted by spec80 at 10:04 AM on March 8, 2009

Will it flush?
posted by katillathehun at 10:05 AM on March 8, 2009 [3 favorites]

That's all fine and dandy, but is it any good with big, steaming, skid-marking, corn-studded, nose-curling turds?
posted by pracowity at 10:11 AM on March 8, 2009 [1 favorite]

I call foul on their math. That wasn't 18 hot dogs or 78 numbers or letters. Me thinks there is some exaggeration going on.

Still pretty impressive.
posted by pearlybob at 10:13 AM on March 8, 2009 [2 favorites]

Large gummi bears? They come in sizes?

My goodness, do you have a lot to learn!
posted by ORthey at 10:18 AM on March 8, 2009

Predictably, the denizens of the local waste treatment plant will claim this to be evidence of a higher intelligence, one whose ways we can't hope to understand.
posted by subgear at 10:24 AM on March 8, 2009

I would only buy that if that music played every time I used it.
posted by Lipstick Thespian at 10:45 AM on March 8, 2009 [1 favorite]

How do you burp it?
posted by Skygazer at 10:59 AM on March 8, 2009

I mean, it is the first result if you search "toilet"...
posted by jckll at 11:02 AM on March 8, 2009

All the prunes and raisins in the world won't make those chess sets and letters any less painful.
posted by vitia at 11:10 AM on March 8, 2009 [9 favorites]

It's a promising start. But I need a toilet that can flush at least five complete chess sets.
posted by Joe Beese at 11:20 AM on March 8, 2009 [3 favorites]

What...is it used as a garbage disposal? I've never flushed any of that stuff. Let's see one good sized stonker and then I'll be impressed, ot at least a half pound baggie (yes the baggie too) of primo ganja.
posted by mygoditsbob at 11:22 AM on March 8, 2009

...5lbs of dog food...a human head...a fully cooked turkey...another toilet!
posted by sexyrobot at 11:27 AM on March 8, 2009 [13 favorites]

A toilet post and no mention of the Ferguson, the King of Bowls?
posted by Skeptic at 11:46 AM on March 8, 2009

What...is it used as a garbage disposal?

It's too bad this MeFi user posted anonymously. With this toilet, her roommate would have saved $200 and had no trouble flushing a stew containing pork bones down the toilet.
posted by Andy's Gross Wart at 11:52 AM on March 8, 2009

Show me the toilet that can flush one single 3lb Gummi Bear, then you've got yourself a buyer.
posted by Jofus at 12:13 PM on March 8, 2009 [10 favorites]

I was going to comment about all that food going to waste, then I realized that all food goes to waste...
posted by aftermarketradio at 12:14 PM on March 8, 2009 [3 favorites]

(And by "Gummi Bear", clearly, I mean "Colossal Turd")
posted by Jofus at 12:14 PM on March 8, 2009

Oh yeah, well let's see it handle 3 kilos of Colombian, uncut and (most importantly) in the bag. Because when the Feds bust down your doors, you don't have time to break down all your product into tiny, manageable, flushable chunks.
posted by Civil_Disobedient at 12:19 PM on March 8, 2009 [1 favorite]

I've always been mystified by the "golf balls" thing. Are golf balls a hard thing to flush? Does anyone's waste resemble golf balls in any way?

I'd be impressed if it could flush a 12" coil of 2" diameter rope. THAT'S the test I want to see.
posted by Laen at 12:20 PM on March 8, 2009 [1 favorite]

sure, its 'awesome', but would you feel safe cleaning it?
posted by sexyrobot at 12:26 PM on March 8, 2009

Just don't let your kid get too close to it.
posted by samsaunt at 12:26 PM on March 8, 2009 [1 favorite]

Will it flush a blender?
posted by fearfulsymmetry at 12:34 PM on March 8, 2009 [1 favorite]

Oh and I'd guarantee the pipes to the main are gonna be blocked...
posted by fearfulsymmetry at 12:35 PM on March 8, 2009 [3 favorites]

No toilet in the world, not even a porcelain defecatory capable of swallowing the fire-in-the-belly emissions of an Iron John can rise above the plumbing that supports it. Take the toilet from that video, which is probably hooked up to a high volume 5-inch commercial pipe with ferocious water pressure on the front-side and put it in your average home and you are going to be cleaning hot-dog soup up off your bathroom floor for sure.
posted by mrmojoflying at 1:23 PM on March 8, 2009 [10 favorites]

(And by "Gummi Bear", clearly, I mean "Colossal Turd")

I am never trick-or-treating at your house again.
posted by Riki tiki at 1:38 PM on March 8, 2009 [20 favorites]

Now if someone will just come to my house and chop my turds into small pieces...

Should I post videos of my toilet failing?

--Luke
posted by Lukenlogs at 2:00 PM on March 8, 2009

(In my mind's eye, I see two sewage worker's down there with their helmet-torches. One turns to the other and says "Well Louis, I've seen some weird shit it my time...")
posted by Jofus at 2:02 PM on March 8, 2009 [6 favorites]

See, this is great. Because I'll often have for lunch a baby carrot-chesspiece-gummi bear-hot dog-grape-plastic letter-golf ball salad (drenched in a piquant Ty-D-Bol dressing, but of course), and now, finally, there's a toilet that can handle my gargantuan, spiky, multihued postprandial turd.
posted by Dr. Wu at 2:23 PM on March 8, 2009 [1 favorite]

Twodaloo, the world's first toilet that two people can use
posted by cybercoitus interruptus at 2:30 PM on March 8, 2009

scatafilter!
posted by barrett caulk at 2:49 PM on March 8, 2009

Install one at Costco, and you've got a completely self-contained ecosystem.
posted by gimonca at 3:13 PM on March 8, 2009 [2 favorites]

I can see the real-poop analogs for the grapes, hotdogs, and gummi bears, but I really want to know what cut-rate deli I have to eat at to produce letter and golfball equivalent shit.
posted by robocop is bleeding at 3:57 PM on March 8, 2009

Large gummi bears? They come in sizes?

My goodness, do you have a lot to learn!

oh my god...
posted by spec80 at 4:26 PM on March 8, 2009 [1 favorite]

The bill from the plumber is also awesome.
posted by Nanukthedog at 5:23 PM on March 8, 2009

spec80, gummi bear warning. "Huge chocolate covered gummi bear on the gourmet floor at KaDeWe in Berlin"....
posted by Kronos_to_Earth at 7:30 PM on March 8, 2009 [1 favorite]

I knew I'd seen this before!
posted by waxboy at 7:57 PM on March 8, 2009

Twodaloo, the world's first toilet that two people can use

That's just nonsense. My grandpappy had an outhouse two-seater back in the day.
posted by graventy at 8:25 PM on March 8, 2009

The food, I can understand, but if you're shitting sports equipment AND the alphabet, you need to see a doctor.
posted by dr_dank at 8:53 PM on March 8, 2009

Wake me up when there's a toilet that can flush a whole other toilet.
posted by turgid dahlia at 9:24 PM on March 8, 2009

An upgraded version includes a seven inch LCD television and iPod docking station.

Finally, I can put my iPod where it belongs!
posted by mannequito at 6:15 AM on March 9, 2009

Question is, can we use it to flush the financial crisis away?
posted by Halloween Jack at 8:41 AM on March 9, 2009

This anon AskMe user could benefit here, too.
posted by cdmwebs at 7:10 PM on March 9, 2009