Comments on: Smoking Smarties!

Smoking Smarties!

cjorgensen — Tue, 17 Mar 2009 12:59:20 -0800

Research shows that a new trend for pre-teens is posting how-to videos explaining the finer points of crushing up smarties, inhaling the dust, and then puffing out powered sugar.

Smarties: America's favorite candy wafer roll! Of course you can eat them. But did you know kids are smoking them? How to smoke Smarties with the best! What do you do in the face of such unwelcome PR? Perhaps the best option is silence. Learn in 7 easy steps, Better than candy cigarettes. Some of these videos have been around since 2007 so why are they catching on now? This is the American candy, not to be confused with the European chocolate confectionery. (via and via) (related previously)

By: SPrintF

SPrintF — Tue, 17 Mar 2009 13:01:15 -0800

Kids. Lawn. Off.

By: Blazecock Pileon

Blazecock Pileon — Tue, 17 Mar 2009 13:01:44 -0800

Coming off a three-day Smarties bender is ten-times worse than Supercool and Cake, combined. So that's, like, twenty times worse.

By: Faint of Butt

Faint of Butt — Tue, 17 Mar 2009 13:02:09 -0800

Smoking Smarties? Pfeh. Back in my day, all the cool kids were snorting Pixy Stix!

By: bondcliff

bondcliff — Tue, 17 Mar 2009 13:03:31 -0800

Second hand Smarty Smoke is a leading cause of cavities.

By: ND¢

ND¢ — Tue, 17 Mar 2009 13:05:40 -0800

This seems to be a stunning example of the world gone awry.

By: Spatch

Spatch — Tue, 17 Mar 2009 13:06:03 -0800

Snorting Pixy Stix? Amateurs. We used to freebase Fun Dip. That's hardcore and in three flavors.

By: Joe Beese

Joe Beese — Tue, 17 Mar 2009 13:06:44 -0800

Faint of Butt: "Back in my day, all the cool kids were snorting Pixy Stix!" You are not the kind of kid who would be at a playground like this at this time of the morning...

By: fizzix

fizzix — Tue, 17 Mar 2009 13:10:09 -0800

I did that when I was a kid, sorta, when we got them for something or another (this was in the 90s when it was still socially acceptable for kids to receive sugary candy on classmates birthdays and parties at school), I'd ground some of them up on my desk and inhale through my nose... At the time, maybe I thought I was doing lines. Also used pixie stix. Never tried puff out the smoke though, I didn't have the internet to teach me that. I just ended up with an itchy nose for the rest of the day.

By: porn in the woods

porn in the woods — Tue, 17 Mar 2009 13:10:28 -0800

Wise words: Dont get it too powdery; cops/teachers/parents may think you're incredibly stupid for putting crack in a pack of smarties, and you will also get in trouble.* See also: I'll Smoke Anything

By: backseatpilot

backseatpilot — Tue, 17 Mar 2009 13:11:11 -0800

Damnit, this is seriously making my mouth water.

By: billysumday

billysumday — Tue, 17 Mar 2009 13:13:25 -0800

When I was a kid, we smoked cigarettes. What can I say? We were very literal.

By: spikeleemajortomdickandharryconnickjrmints

spikeleemajortomdickandharryconnickjrmints — Tue, 17 Mar 2009 13:14:57 -0800

I snorted Pixie Sticks. I lined it up on my Social Studies textbook with my library card and took an entire line with everyone in the adjacent seats on the bus watching. Never again, never again.

By: sveskemus

sveskemus — Tue, 17 Mar 2009 13:15:37 -0800

But why? Why do they do this?

By: rageagainsttherobots

rageagainsttherobots — Tue, 17 Mar 2009 13:17:20 -0800

Freebasing for fat kids.

By: Blazecock Pileon

Blazecock Pileon — Tue, 17 Mar 2009 13:17:57 -0800

Anyway, this is just like DuPont with marijuana. Nestle is behind the scenes of this epidemic, nudging the DEA into outlawing American Smarties so that it can enter the US market and push the genuine article, thus causing the collapse of Mars' all-American M&M business and opening up important Aero and Coffee Crisp markets, with CIA inner-city cross-promotional tie-ins. We're through the looking glass, people!

By: Spatch

Spatch — Tue, 17 Mar 2009 13:18:14 -0800

Never tried puff out the smoke though, I didn't have the internet to teach me that. You know, kids've done stupid things with candy/household objects/pets/little siblings for generations now. And when they do, either they realize it was an incredibly dumb idea and drop it, or a parent catches wise and puts the kibosh on it. And ideas like smoking Smarties or putting raspberry jam all over the cat don't just come from one kid and spread around. They just happen. But now when the kids take videos and put it on the Internet, it's suddenly an epidemic. Boy.

By: We had a deal, Kyle

We had a deal, Kyle — Tue, 17 Mar 2009 13:20:16 -0800

This is almost worth an FPP of its own, but: Candy cigarettes.

By: We had a deal, Kyle

We had a deal, Kyle — Tue, 17 Mar 2009 13:23:37 -0800

Nestle is behind the scenes of this epidemic, nudging the DEA into outlawing American Smarties so that it can enter the US market and push the genuine article, thus causing the collapse of Mars' all-American M&M business. Oh boy, I wish. Smarties are much better than those johnny-come-lately M&Ms. (Compare also: American KitKats vs British KitKats. Night and day.)

By: interrobang

interrobang — Tue, 17 Mar 2009 13:25:50 -0800

This is the funniest thing I've seen in a long time. But why? Why do they do this? posted by sveskemus at 3:15 PM on March 17 [+] [!] Exactly! Why the fuck would you so this? Just 'cause it's hilarious, I guess. Just 'cause it's hilarious.

By: Orb

Orb — Tue, 17 Mar 2009 13:28:12 -0800

I am apparently too old to understand the reason for doing such a thing. All the same, the next time we have some Smarties in the house, I will, of course, have to try it.

By: JHarris

JHarris — Tue, 17 Mar 2009 13:28:45 -0800

I never understood why anyone would prefer Smarties to SweeTarts. I mean sure, STs might be more corporate, but they also have a stronger flavor. I guess this is why.

By: oaf

oaf — Tue, 17 Mar 2009 13:29:58 -0800

candy wars go

By: davebush

davebush — Tue, 17 Mar 2009 13:31:16 -0800

As a Canadian, let me say - those aren't Smarties, they're Rockets.

By: gman

gman — Tue, 17 Mar 2009 13:31:32 -0800

When you smoke your Smarties, do you smoke the red ones last?

By: KokuRyu

KokuRyu — Tue, 17 Mar 2009 13:37:33 -0800

The first time I thought I smoked weed it turns out my friends had rolled a joint of basil and oregano. Ha ha, very funny. Then they rolled the real thing. I spent the next hour walking up and down the stairs of the apartment building, worrying that if I stopped my head would explode.

By: sandraregina

sandraregina — Tue, 17 Mar 2009 13:46:13 -0800

I have memories of going to a Girl Guide camp (maybe Pathfinders?) and after campfire, some of the girls would sneak off into the woods behind the outhouse and break off these twigs and smoke them. Or try to, any way. Light the tips on fire, and suck away. It was so odd. I couldn't understand what the hell good it was. Now, they may have been very specific twigs from very specific trees (cigarette trees? marijuana trees?) but to me, they were just sucking on burning twigs. Idiots in every sense.

By: pseudostrabismus

pseudostrabismus — Tue, 17 Mar 2009 13:48:34 -0800

Wait, since when are Rockets called Smarties? Do Americans not have real, ie chocolate, Smarties?

By: owtytrof

owtytrof — Tue, 17 Mar 2009 13:49:36 -0800

I never snorted any candy, but one of the neighborhood kids(15 or 16 when I was about 13) convinced my brother(about 11 at the time) to snot Pixie Stix. On more than one occasion.

By: cjorgensen

cjorgensen — Tue, 17 Mar 2009 13:59:40 -0800

There's a discussion of the Smarties smoking phenomenon on the snopes forums, and on at least one other blog I saw people calling for the banning of Smarties. These seemed to be mostly in jest. But look at banning candy cigarettes and one can imagine such a campaign. The scary part of this post to me was that I had so many videos to choose from. In at least one the kid sits off camera, like a mafia informant, unwilling to video taped. I kept thinking, "Mom must be so proud." And once I started down this road I found kids smoking Pixie Sticks (using fire) and Twizzlers (didn't watch), so Smarties are obviously a gateway candy. My "the" link had the best production of any of these videos, but boy does that kid need to watch the others. He's doing it wrong!

By: rtha

rtha — Tue, 17 Mar 2009 14:03:41 -0800

Do Americans not have real, ie chocolate, Smarties? No, no we don't. We have wannabes called M&Ms, which are not at all like chocolate Smarties (except in the sense that they are chocolate with a candy shell) Canadians get better health care and better candy. And more flavors of potato chips. Just ain't fair. I hope you're looking forward to the invasion.

By: symbioid

symbioid — Tue, 17 Mar 2009 14:13:36 -0800

I had a horrid drug experimentation phase... I got to try the good stuff (ephedrine) -- 7 pills at once. And no-doz (14 pills at once, uh... No. If you ever want to be in misery and pain and not be able to sleep it off? thank god I'm not dead from that). I was tempted by what I read about nutmeg, but also heard some horrid things about the hangover, so never tried it. But the worst? The absolute worst and stupid thing I did? Smoke aspirin. Yes, ladies and gents, you read it here first. Aspirin smoking. You know it's an acid, right? Well, apparently the smoke FEELS like acid in your lungs. Holy shit. Ouch. Then again, maybe that's what the DMT feels like. I think I'll pass on the smarties, I think E was candy enough. Smoking Smarties? Come on, kids... Sniffing markers at least gets you high good and proper!

By: symbioid

symbioid — Tue, 17 Mar 2009 14:15:41 -0800

Oh shit, I just watched videos... Wow. That's like. Candy Cigarettes to the next level. Do they still make those things?

By: GuyZero

GuyZero — Tue, 17 Mar 2009 14:17:34 -0800

Smarties are not European, they're more of a Commonwealth thing. UK, Canada, Australia I believe. That they sell them in Germany and South Africa is an exception. They're originally from Rowntree (thankfully one place where my memories and Wikipedia agree), a York-based confectioner. My sister had a job making them once. She made me a batch of mint ones and a bath of orange flavoured ones. Also, it's like those kids are setting out to get old folks' irish up. This is seriously less interesting than my rambling on about the distinction between Commonwealth vs European cultural ephemera.

By: theora55

theora55 — Tue, 17 Mar 2009 14:25:46 -0800

Orange Smarties taste like baby aspirin, mmmm.

By: Big_B

Big_B — Tue, 17 Mar 2009 14:27:06 -0800

Note to self: Do not party with symbioid.

By: Nelson

Nelson — Tue, 17 Mar 2009 14:27:13 -0800

God bless Youtube. Now dumbass kid stunts can become national media panics. Next up: tittie twister torment: trend or torture?

By: idiopath

idiopath — Tue, 17 Mar 2009 14:29:28 -0800

At camp, kids were all into smoking dried pieces of grapevine, I also had classmates in elementary school that crushed up and snorted lines of smarties. I think it had something to do with the fact that we were slowly discovering that most of the things adults were forbidding us from were fun and felt good, so we wanted to try all of them immediately (or at least the closest things we could get).

By: bonefish

bonefish — Tue, 17 Mar 2009 14:30:32 -0800

Not so smarties.

By: MrMoonPie

MrMoonPie — Tue, 17 Mar 2009 14:38:27 -0800

There was a guy in my Boy Scout troop who always smoked cedar bark on camping trips. He swore it got him high. It certainly made his eyes red.

By: freq

freq — Tue, 17 Mar 2009 14:40:16 -0800

For some odd reason this reminds me of smokin' banana peels

By: mudpuppie

mudpuppie — Tue, 17 Mar 2009 14:41:47 -0800

My mom was the school nurse when I was in elementary school and one time she had to pull a Smartie out of this kid's nose but I don't think he was trying to snort it I think he just liked to stick things up his nose.

By: Atom Eyes

Atom Eyes — Tue, 17 Mar 2009 14:44:15 -0800

This brings back elementary school memories of sitting under the playground slide with my best friend Robert and smoking a hand-rolled "joint" made from lawn clippings and notebook paper. If I recall correctly, we actually succeeded in convincing our classmates (and ourselves) that we got way fucking high that day.

By: GuyZero

GuyZero — Tue, 17 Mar 2009 14:46:02 -0800

On re-reading, I did not actually bathe in orange-flavoured smarties. I ate them.

By: Ella Fynoe

Ella Fynoe — Tue, 17 Mar 2009 14:50:59 -0800

I was in a bar in Boston once. Well, more than once. But this only happened once, that I saw, where a couple of locals poured a little Jack Daniels into the dimple on the bottom of a shot glass and snorted it. "AAAAAAAAAAUUUGH! That smaaaaaaaahhhhts!" They had a name for it, but I forgot it in the ensuing hilarity.

By: Sova

Sova — Tue, 17 Mar 2009 15:13:15 -0800

Yah, UK: Fizzlers. But I can't for the life of me understand why somebody would want to inhale them...surely snorting them might be a better option? and better training? Smoking is so passe, even learning to cook-up/chase sherbet would be more useful. Also, on a minor note, the Wikipedia page for US Smarties has a link to UK sweets called 'Parma Violets'. If you're ever in the UK, please get hold of a pack and eat freely. They are kiddy-crack.

By: brenton

brenton — Tue, 17 Mar 2009 15:17:29 -0800

Dumb kids. I wonder if it's bad to have powdered candy in your lungs? Is it the sort of thing that works itself out over time, or is that gunk going to actually get stuck in the lungs, accumulating into a sticky, lung-clogging goo? This reminds me of my elementary friends who figured out how to make themselves pass out by doing some weird thing, probably they were pressing on the jugular vein somehow.

By: turgid dahlia

turgid dahlia — Tue, 17 Mar 2009 15:42:42 -0800

In Australia, candy cigarettes used to be called "Fags". Then something happened, and they were called "Fads". Then they were taken off the shelf altogether and replaced with high-fructose 18-hour patches.

By: turgid dahlia

turgid dahlia — Tue, 17 Mar 2009 15:46:14 -0800

I wonder if it's bad to have powdered candy in your lungs? Is it the sort of thing that works itself out over time, or is that gunk going to actually get stuck in the lungs, accumulating into a sticky, lung-clogging goo? You can usually expedite expectoration of candy dust by taking a big drag on a Cohiba.

By: delmoi

delmoi — Tue, 17 Mar 2009 15:49:33 -0800

Technically, they're dusting.

By: Mars Saxman

Mars Saxman — Tue, 17 Mar 2009 15:51:10 -0800

Then again, maybe that's what the DMT feels like. No, not really.

By: cjorgensen

cjorgensen — Tue, 17 Mar 2009 15:56:29 -0800

brenton, there are two common ways to do what your describing, neither of which I will put down, since kids dies that way. But both involve messing with the oxygen in your brain. How a lot more kids don't kill themselves I'll never understand. Just like the kids that were getting high by drinking way too much water and throwing off brain electrolyte levels they do dumb things. And as these youtube videos prove an education campaign just gives them ideas.

By: Pendragon

Pendragon — Tue, 17 Mar 2009 15:59:09 -0800

GuyZero: they also have Smarties in the Netherlands...

By: Faze

Faze — Tue, 17 Mar 2009 16:25:47 -0800

From "The IT Crowd": Jen: what did you eat for breakfast? Moss: Smarties cereal Jen: I didn't even know they MADE smarties cereal Moss: They don't, it's just smarties in a bowl of milk

By: jckll

jckll — Tue, 17 Mar 2009 17:12:45 -0800

~~Cocaine:~~ Metafilter: On your first time, you will probably start coughing as your throat is not used to the powder. If you do it enough, you shall get used to it. From the 7 easy steps link.

By: diogenes

diogenes — Tue, 17 Mar 2009 18:29:30 -0800

This reminds me of my elementary friends who figured out how to make themselves pass out Yup, the knowledge of that "trick" went around my elementary school. It's what immediately came to mind when I was thinking of stupid things I did as a child that I'm glad I wasn't able to post to the internet. I only did it once. I mostly tried it because I didn't think it would work. I didn't particularly like the sensation of waking up on the ground, not knowing where I was, and having a headache from my head hitting the ground.

By: cjorgensen

cjorgensen — Tue, 17 Mar 2009 18:49:15 -0800

metafilter: tittie twister torment: trend or torture?

By: IvoShandor

IvoShandor — Tue, 17 Mar 2009 19:45:53 -0800

What ever happened to just using drugs?

By: Mael Oui

Mael Oui — Tue, 17 Mar 2009 19:59:10 -0800

Kids smoking Smarties and snorting Nesquik (Lindsay Lohan, reportedly)? What's next, freebasing SweeTarts?! (And, of course, what you can do with Pixy Sticks just goes without saying)

By: graventy

graventy — Tue, 17 Mar 2009 21:01:29 -0800

America's favorite candy wafer roll! Pretty fucking specific, don't you think? Kit-Kat! America's favorite 4-stick candy bar! Nintendo Wii! America's favorite motion-controlled video game system!

By: symbioid

symbioid — Tue, 17 Mar 2009 21:10:15 -0800

Mars Saxman, I wasn't referring to the effects of the aspirin... :P But the wretched burning in the lungs. From what I hear, DMT is massively harsh. Also? Big_B, let me state that this is the distant past when the folly of youth held reign. My party days are much more mild these days, and (sadly) far sparser. But the drugs? So much better ;)

By: dirty lies

dirty lies — Tue, 17 Mar 2009 23:29:48 -0800

This is not new. I used to snort powdered candy of all kinds, including mexican candy with chili in it, when I was in high school many years ago. But only when I was stoned or coming down from DXM.

By: archagon

archagon — Wed, 18 Mar 2009 01:14:06 -0800

Did none of you watch the videos at all? 1) There is no actual smoking involved, and 2) the first guy explicitly says NOT TO BREATHE IT IN.

By: MuffinMan

MuffinMan — Wed, 18 Mar 2009 03:26:31 -0800

sandraregina: very specific twigs from very specific trees (cigarette trees?) Possibly clematis vitalba, aka Old Man's beard, aka smoke-wood, aka Traveller's joy. Also used as a traditional remedy to stop tooth pain, apparently.

By: Andrew Galarneau

Andrew Galarneau — Wed, 18 Mar 2009 05:21:08 -0800

Ella Fynoe wrote: I was in a bar in Boston once. Well, more than once. But this only happened once, that I saw, where a couple of locals poured a little Jack Daniels into the dimple on the bottom of a shot glass and snorted it. "AAAAAAAAAAUUUGH! That smaaaaaaaahhhhts!" They had a name for it, but I forgot it in the ensuing hilarity. Having spent some time with denizens of the area, I believe the term you are looking for is "chilly willy." Dunno why. But that's what some fellows called it.

By: orme

orme — Wed, 18 Mar 2009 05:47:25 -0800

I can't believe we now have access to the latest playground trends! I can't wait to talk to my nephew about it! He's gonna think I am so cool!

By: Durn Bronzefist

Durn Bronzefist — Wed, 18 Mar 2009 06:12:24 -0800

Huh. As kids will do, the neighbourhood consensus was that M&Ms were SO much better than Smarties, because they were hard to get (only in America). I've never really bothered to compare them, but my sig other is a Smarties fanatic. These things -- Rockets -- are what you get when you go to the neighbourhood skating rink. Or Sweet Tarts.

By: euphorb

euphorb — Wed, 18 Mar 2009 08:04:52 -0800

I smoked a Twix once. The melted chocolate gets on your fingers but the cookie part smolders well and is spongy enough that you can inhale through it.

By: mek

mek — Wed, 18 Mar 2009 12:22:22 -0800

Once I convinced two girls to do "Mad Dog Shots". This is where you do a shot of Praerie Fire (tequila with tabasco in it.), with salt and lime. Except you take the salt, and you snort it, then you drink the shot, and then you squirt the lime in your eye. It was just a joke, but it all went horribly sideways.