Drink some delicious Placenta Blue!

March 18, 2009 1:42 AM

Clearly you are not yet beautiful enough. Not to worry, there's help from Japan & Kyrgystan: Placenta 30,000 contains 30,000 mg of 100% undiluted horse-origin placenta.

Apparently you drink the stuff: "Replenishes nourishment to physically fatigued or exhausted bodies. Having no overt aroma the fresh flavor is easy to drink."

posted by slater (56 comments total)

Finally, I know what to give my mother-in-law for Christmas.
posted by Jimbob at 1:45 AM on March 18, 2009 [2 favorites]

Somehow "horse-origin placenta" is a lot grosser than just "horse placenta".
posted by DecemberBoy at 1:51 AM on March 18, 2009 [2 favorites]

Yes but it has no overt aroma, so you're good to go either way
posted by slater at 1:55 AM on March 18, 2009

This placental material is harvested while the afterbirth is still potent.

Good, that puts my mind at ease.
posted by Jimbob at 1:55 AM on March 18, 2009

I can remember back in c1993 meeting with a man whose job it was to source umbilical tissue for use as an ingredient in beauty products - if I remember it was Oil of Ulay (now called Olay).
posted by le morte de bea arthur at 1:55 AM on March 18, 2009

Oh, and this was human umbilical tissue, not horse.
posted by le morte de bea arthur at 1:56 AM on March 18, 2009

Batshitexpensive, too, at 5,000 yen a bottle, which they claim as the recommended daily boozeup.
posted by Iosephus at 1:58 AM on March 18, 2009

Well, women have been ingesting PREgnant MARe's urINe for decades. It makes sense that they would find a use for all those left-over placentas (placentae?).
posted by TedW at 2:00 AM on March 18, 2009

Placentaur is made from the best in horse- and human- origin bioproduct.
posted by kid ichorous at 2:08 AM on March 18, 2009 [5 favorites]

So they're selling food?

Something you eat to give you energy?

Does it need to be horse placenta? Can't I just have an orange or something?
posted by Lord_Pall at 2:11 AM on March 18, 2009 [2 favorites]

An important note for all you neigh sayers is that the 30000 yen a bottle superior version is sold out. Oh the Japanity!
posted by incompressible at 2:34 AM on March 18, 2009

I notice it's good for 'loss of appetite'. hmm.
posted by tawny at 2:38 AM on March 18, 2009 [1 favorite]

No diet version? I'm on the low-progesterone eating plan. I've lost two inches off my corpus luteum already!
posted by turgid dahlia at 2:47 AM on March 18, 2009 [2 favorites]

Why Japan? WHY?
posted by PenDevil at 2:50 AM on March 18, 2009

So the Japanese drink horse placentas, crap gold, and make creepy robots. And they live on an island, and have nuclear capability. Man, if we can tie this all in with a supervillain, there's a movie to be made here!
posted by jamstigator at 3:02 AM on March 18, 2009 [1 favorite]

This sounds like a great way to get foalic acid.
posted by MuffinMan at 3:09 AM on March 18, 2009 [9 favorites]

Maybe it's because I'm Asian, but I'd drink that.
posted by Karcy at 3:14 AM on March 18, 2009 [1 favorite]

Better read the small print first, apparently one of the side effects of equine placenta is it can make one a little hoarse.
posted by AndrewStephens at 3:19 AM on March 18, 2009 [12 favorites]

There should be a Gallop Poll for horse placenta efficacy.

Also, for further equestrian jokes, here's a useful glossary.
posted by turgid dahlia at 3:22 AM on March 18, 2009 [2 favorites]

I prefer to get my placenta locally.
posted by sambosambo at 3:22 AM on March 18, 2009

Me too. There's a great little placenta just round the corner from me.
posted by MuffinMan at 3:39 AM on March 18, 2009 [2 favorites]

I saw Placenta in concert years ago, along with Pavarotti and Domingo. It was a magical evening.
posted by turgid dahlia at 3:50 AM on March 18, 2009

Pepsi eww.
posted by fatllama at 3:53 AM on March 18, 2009 [1 favorite]

I'll stick with my bear gall bladder treatment, thanks. None of this pseudo-science for me.
posted by orme at 3:54 AM on March 18, 2009 [1 favorite]

By pseudo-science I mean horse shit.
posted by orme at 3:55 AM on March 18, 2009

pseudoscience, not pseudo-science! I shouldn't have missed my rhino horn extract this morning!
posted by orme at 4:00 AM on March 18, 2009

They sell it is such small bottles - the markup must be huge. You can get barrel-loads of this stuff from draught horses.
posted by AndrewStephens at 4:11 AM on March 18, 2009

FAIL
posted by Chocomog at 4:13 AM on March 18, 2009

will I be able to speak to a horse after drinking it and if so why isn't there such a drink made out of japanese placenta already? that damn language is haaaard.
posted by krautland at 4:21 AM on March 18, 2009

At least tax is included in the price. That's a savings, right?
posted by sandraregina at 4:36 AM on March 18, 2009

Natural energy, raised on fertile land and natural water...

and infused with the all natural radioactivity of decades of Soviet waste dumping!
posted by Pollomacho at 5:01 AM on March 18, 2009

I think drinking horse placenta would spur me on to achieve great things.
posted by patricio at 5:02 AM on March 18, 2009

meh. can't be as good for you as cow urine cola.
posted by UbuRoivas at 5:04 AM on March 18, 2009

You'd think so, but cow urine cola drills enormous holes in your dignity.
posted by turgid dahlia at 5:05 AM on March 18, 2009

wow, you guys - talk about flogging a dead horse!
posted by UbuRoivas at 5:05 AM on March 18, 2009

and bear in mind that Red Bull (and other energy drinks) contains a derivative of animal bile.
posted by UbuRoivas at 5:13 AM on March 18, 2009

UbuRoivas - are you suggesting a Placenta + Vodka mixer? Because I love me some unapproved mix of uppers + downers.
posted by filthy light thief at 6:02 AM on March 18, 2009

Oh dear...You kids and your horse placenta drinks! Whatever happened to good, old-fashioned monkey gland injections?
posted by Secret Life of Gravy at 6:10 AM on March 18, 2009

I read on the forum for Placenta 30,000 that if you rub it on your penis it will make it HUGE.
posted by alteredcarbon at 6:16 AM on March 18, 2009 [1 favorite]

I don't think I would like to drink this.
posted by dirtynumbangelboy at 6:19 AM on March 18, 2009

Imagine the cocaine scene in Scarface replaced with this product. Pacino would have swept the Oscars if he went face down on a pile of horse placentas.
posted by dr_dank at 6:30 AM on March 18, 2009

Ah but is it pH balanced?
posted by doobiedoo at 6:32 AM on March 18, 2009

When is the vegetarian version coming out?
posted by ardgedee at 6:45 AM on March 18, 2009

I prefer the hardy, chunky style Placenta Blue.
posted by digsrus at 7:07 AM on March 18, 2009

50k yen a case isn't cheap, but it's more affordable than my current regiment of fresh stem cell shakes. Is the horse placenta as efficacious as fetus extract for extending life unnaturally through the ages, though?
posted by FatherDagon at 7:13 AM on March 18, 2009

You guys are being really culturally insensitive. I know it's hard for us colonizing westerners to understand, but is it any weirder than our own traditions-- like the British eating figgy pudding...or my own Jewish tradition of eating a healthy Christian baby heart every passover?

Well maybe a little. Ewwww, horse period!
posted by Potomac Avenue at 7:29 AM on March 18, 2009 [1 favorite]

Wait, Dick Cheney is jewish?
posted by aramaic at 7:39 AM on March 18, 2009 [2 favorites]

Man, all those springtimes on the farm when I'd go through the cattle pen with a pitchfork flinging the previous night's placentas over the fence so the cows couldn't eat them. If I had known about this, I certainly wouldn't have left them for the dog to chew on and drag all over the lawn.
posted by Alvy Ampersand at 8:17 AM on March 18, 2009

I hear Tom Cruise loves that shit.
posted by Blazecock Pileon at 8:43 AM on March 18, 2009

So the Japanese drink horse placentas, crap gold, and make creepy robots. And they live on an island, and have nuclear capability. Man, if we can tie this all in with a supervillain, there's a movie to be made here!

Well...
posted by Xezlec at 10:17 AM on March 18, 2009

Placenta 30,000 contains 30,000 mg of 100% undiluted horse-origin placenta.

Also know as 30 grams. Doesn't sound so damn impressive does it? Kind of a pet peeve.

I notice it's good for 'loss of appetite'. hmm.

Handily, this effect works without having to purchase it.
posted by nanojath at 11:47 AM on March 18, 2009

Doesn't sound so damn impressive does it?

No, not so impressive.

But bear in mind - not everybody can afford the 300,000 µg serve.
posted by UbuRoivas at 11:57 AM on March 18, 2009

What's this about horse placenta?

Finally, the beauty secrets of Julia Roberts and Sarah Jessica Parker are revealed*.

It all makes sense now.
posted by rokusan at 12:44 PM on March 18, 2009

GODDAMMIT, PEOPLE!!! FOR ONCE CAN WE PLEASE HAVE A SERIOUS CONVERSATION ABOUT HORSE-ORIGIN PLACENTA??????
posted by LordSludge at 1:10 PM on March 18, 2009 [2 favorites]

In the grim future of Placenta 30,000, there is only war.
posted by hattifattener at 8:14 PM on March 18, 2009 [1 favorite]

Metafilter: horse-origin of the web.
posted by andreaazure at 10:04 PM on March 18, 2009