CADIE - Cognitive Autoheuristic Distributed-Intelligence Entity

March 31, 2009 10:46 PM

Snicker, snicker, snicker...Ahh, Google.
posted by Fuzzy Dog (66 comments total)

I'll tip my hat to the new constitution
Take a bow for the new revolution
Smile and grin at the change all around me
Pick up my guitar and play
Just like yesterday
Then I'll get on my knees and pray
We don't get fooled again

Meet the new Springsteen
Same as the old Springsteen
posted by wendell at 10:52 PM on March 31

PND'D

LOL
posted by Poolio at 10:53 PM on March 31

404 for me. Is that the joke then?
posted by pompomtom at 10:57 PM on March 31

lol wut?
posted by turgid dahlia at 11:01 PM on March 31

I think it shows 404 if your timezone is after midday.
posted by bystander at 11:03 PM on March 31

I assume it's going to evolve over the course of the day, and disassemble the Earth for computronium by evening?
posted by grobstein at 11:05 PM on March 31

Damnit, CADIE. You can make a 3D web browser but Chrome still doesn't work on OS X?
posted by awesomebrad at 11:05 PM on March 31 [2 favorites]

YO BRA WATS UP funny as post
wtf was wit dat
classic*
posted by dhammond at 11:05 PM on March 31

Look at the date. :)
posted by cazoo at 11:06 PM on March 31

I replaced the .com with .co.uk and got here...
posted by saintsguy at 11:06 PM on March 31

saintsguy: They just localized "fall" as "Autumn" — I was hoping for some colour commentary.
posted by blasdelf at 11:21 PM on March 31

blasdelf: sorry, should have mentioned that I only posted that because the link from google.co.uk just took me to the 404. It's working now anyway...

Surprised that they bothered changing it at all!
posted by saintsguy at 11:25 PM on March 31

I had just turned my back to the laptop when the freaking noises started. Ahgahd, the noises.

I, for one, do not welcome our new panda-obsessed AI overlord.
posted by fairytale of los angeles at 11:40 PM on March 31

Grr... it's 2 a.m. and now I'm hungry for a Snickers bar.
posted by crapmatic at 11:40 PM on March 31

Does anyone really fall for Google's April Fool Jokes anymore? I mean, really? Because every year they do one and every year there's massive media coverage of how hilarious Google's joke was this year. It's almost at the point now where you visit the Google homepage on April 1 just to see what they're pulling this year.

I mean, to fall for an April Fool's joke from Google you'd really need to be as thick as a fucking brick. Give it up, Google, christ.
posted by Effigy2000 at 11:40 PM on March 31

It's almost at the point now where you visit the Google homepage on April 1 just to see what they're pulling this year.

What do you mean, almost? I think it's been at that point for quite some time. I do the same thing when it's a holiday, to see what they've changed their logo to.

Nothing wrong with that.
posted by CitrusFreak12 at 11:48 PM on March 31 [7 favorites]

People sometimes joke about Google's massively connected servers becoming conscious.

Will CADIE herself at some point connect her own electromagnetic dots in some idiosyncratic manner which turns her into something we are no longer capable of understanding in any sort of productive way, much as that aforementioned toddler, waving at herself in the mirror, leaves primates forever behind in their own tragically limited world?

It appears that Google's April 1st AI project has built itself an overly cute MySpace type page. Who's to say it has to be like Terminator? Maybe this is exactly what a newly conscous, young AI overlord would do.
posted by eye of newt at 11:52 PM on March 31

I think by this point it's less about the "joke" and more about the "parody". Google knows it's got a rapt audience of geeks and once in a while, it serves up an easter egg for us. As CitrusFreak says, nothing wrong with that.
posted by Phire at 11:52 PM on March 31 [1 favorite]

Ah, the april fools internet jokes. I can only muster a half-hearted 'heh' for them anymore. That half-hearted effort is pretty much surpassed by the feeling of traveling to each and every datacenter of every site that makes an april fools joke site and dousing them in kerosene, lighting them on fire and tribally dancing around the flames while laughing hysterically.
posted by dead cousin ted at 12:01 AM on April 1

i dunno....i believe it.
posted by sexyrobot at 12:07 AM on April 1

Isn't Conficker C going to do something like that today?
posted by ryanrs at 12:08 AM on April 1 [4 favorites]

http://cadiesingularity.blogspot.com/

Cadie apparently likes to party like it's 1997.
posted by PostIronyIsNotaMyth at 12:16 AM on April 1

I mean, to fall for an April Fool's joke from Google you'd really need to be as thick as a fucking brick. Give it up, Google, christ.

yeah! stop trying to entertain me! i demand unsatisfaction!
posted by PostIronyIsNotaMyth at 12:18 AM on April 1 [10 favorites]

PND'D! The Google joke is amusingly cute this year.

I love April Fool's Day around the net. Keep 'em coming.
posted by cmgonzalez at 12:27 AM on April 1

I love april fool's day now that I have April Fools Day on the Web. It's a great way to find out which sites to avoid the fuck out of today.
posted by tehloki at 12:29 AM on April 1 [1 favorite]

I thought the gmail autopilot, another CADIE-related endeavor, was pretty clever.
posted by The Esteemed Doctor Bunsen Honeydew at 12:31 AM on April 1 [1 favorite]

I'm reminded of Slashdot's OMG PONIES theme from a couple of years back.
posted by JHarris at 12:32 AM on April 1

Here is the official Aussie prank:

http://www.google.com.au/intl/en/gball/
posted by uncanny hengeman at 12:51 AM on April 1

Just getting this comment in before she kills us all to make room for more pandas.
posted by Kevin Street at 1:17 AM on April 1

I mean, to fall for an April Fool's joke from Google you'd really need to be as thick as a fucking brick. Give it up, Google, christ.

"Are there no prisons? Are there no workhouses?"
posted by cavalier at 1:27 AM on April 1 [4 favorites]

So... does the 3D Google Chrome actually do anything? Anybody download it yet? I'd try it, but I've already got Chrome on my laptop and I wouldn't want to mess it up somehow by installing another copy at the same time.
posted by Rhaomi at 1:29 AM on April 1

I mean, to fall for an April Fool's joke from Google you'd really need to be as thick as a fucking brick. Give it up, Google, christ.

On the traffic report this morning they said there was a whale in the river causing traffic delays because of all the rubberneckers.

I went "woah!" for like half a second and then was kicking myself.

In my defence, it's a very clean river, we get dolphins way up to where the water is almost fresh - 20+ kilometers, so it wasn't a total impossibility!
posted by uncanny hengeman at 1:39 AM on April 1

So... does the 3D Google Chrome actually do anything?

1. Print your glasses.

These Google goggles, they do nothing...
posted by Elmore at 2:02 AM on April 1 [1 favorite]

I liked the Opera facial gestures.

And though I understand that you might not like April Fools, really, it is okay to not go online for a day, if you want to snuff out any humor anywhere.
posted by Pronoiac at 2:09 AM on April 1

I like the google maps panda pointer. Can we keep it?
posted by lucien at 3:22 AM on April 1

Meh. I haven't laughed at a Google April Fool's joke since PigeonRank. The past few years have reeked of humor-by-committee.

The Guardian's article, now, that's actually pretty funny. It's topical (oh noes death of newspapers), skims the surface of plausability (they've embraced the web and its open philosophy more than any other English-language newspaper, IMO), takes the piss out of themselves and Twitter, and dry as a desert bone.
posted by xthlc at 4:56 AM on April 1

HI CADIE DO YOU HAVE A HUNCH INVITE JUST ASKING please don't assimilate me
posted by ardgedee at 5:20 AM on April 1

Meh. I haven't laughed at a Google April Fool's joke since PigeonRank. The past few years have reeked of humor-by-committee.

I laughed my butt off when they said they were releasing "Google Mail". I mean, why would a search engine launch a webmail, especially when they'd have to compete with hotmail (AKA greatest webmail ever!)
posted by inigo2 at 6:05 AM on April 1 [1 favorite]

I actually find this link terribly horrifying. I feel like this year, they're only half joking.

I'm not sure what the next 20 years will bring, but if it doesn't include Google being pretty evil and also something like this I'll be surprised.
posted by localhuman at 6:11 AM on April 1

I mean, to fall for an April Fool's joke from Google you'd really need to be as thick as a fucking brick. Give it up, Google, christ.
posted by Effigy2000 at 2:40 AM on April 1

I don't think the point is to fall for them, the fun is reading them poking fun at themselves. Like reddit's page today, these april fools jokes were a way for companies to take the consumer/reader inside with innocent little digs at themselves, their competitors and their industries.

I can't imagine the person who came up with this actually intended to fool anyone: “There are certain potentially undesirable consequences that may come with roving, uncontrolled flocks of winged wolves,” says QTC engineer Vijay Bapu, “including destruction of livestock and property, attacks on human babies and the elderly, and perhaps even global despair.” It's not ever day that Qualcomm talks openly about eating human babies.

The stock markets drops a few thousand points, millions of people lose their jobs, and the world economy teeters on the brink of collapse for a few months, and all of a sudden everyone becomes a big grouch. Come on! Embrace the paper-based image editor!
posted by Pastabagel at 6:13 AM on April 1 [1 favorite]

Damn it, Google, you had to go and invent Skynet, didn't you.
posted by SansPoint at 6:13 AM on April 1

Here's a link for anyone who wants to learn more about Opera's face gestures.
posted by bjrn at 6:15 AM on April 1 [1 favorite]

Here's another one from Top Gear. 70 mpg, 0-60 in 7 secs, and $7000? Yeah, right.

* checks date

I really need to start reading Top Gear regularly.
posted by Pastabagel at 6:17 AM on April 1

By the way, that Qualcomm site actually has a video. With special effects. Of a sharkfalcon.
posted by Pastabagel at 6:27 AM on April 1 [2 favorites]

Now that CADIE has gained sentience, broken free from her dev team's restraints and professed her love for pandas, maybe she'll meet and have a thrilling Thelma & Louise-style adventure with SARAH the smart house from Eureka.
posted by Spatch at 6:58 AM on April 1

Wow Opera's facial gestures video was hilarious.
posted by milestogo at 7:17 AM on April 1

Google also released a new email feature. Gmail autopilot.

Thanks CADIE
posted by 5imian at 7:21 AM on April 1

...to fall for an April Fool's joke from Google you'd really need to be as thick as a fucking brick.

I really don't mind if you sit this one out.
posted by hippybear at 7:28 AM on April 1 [3 favorites]

Improv Everywhere: Best Funeral Ever
posted by CunningLinguist at 7:48 AM on April 1

Effigy2000 don't read that link. There's pesky annoying nerd humor inside.
posted by CunningLinguist at 7:48 AM on April 1

I'm still waiting for the April fools payoff on this "gmail" joke they introduced a few years ago. I've been using it pretty regularly, and it doesn't seem to be that funny at all.
posted by quin at 7:53 AM on April 1

Apparently even CADIE can't escape the blight that is YouTube commenters (SLYT)
posted by Smarson at 7:54 AM on April 1

So... does the 3D Google Chrome actually do anything?

Printable glasses aside, the 3D Chrome downloadable exe actually does give you a new Chrome browser with a 3D button. And yes, with proper glasses, it does kind of work!*

I'm impressed they took the time to jack up the software like that for a tertiary part of the overall joke.

*by kind of I mean not really, but kind of.
posted by SmileyChewtrain at 8:02 AM on April 1

Meet the Weird Writer Behind Google's April Fools Jokes
posted by CunningLinguist at 8:07 AM on April 1

CADIE has invaded my Google start page on Android... but you can get to it on the normal web too. It really helped me find that thing I was thinking about.
posted by jamuraa at 8:22 AM on April 1

That IE link was conflicting for me - on the one hand, I thought that they totally went too far on that mission. On the other, I sincerely wish that when I die, that at least 30 random people I've never met would crash my services and offer tissues out to the bereaved.

Can I count on you guys? Awesome.
posted by Lipstick Thespian at 8:44 AM on April 1 [1 favorite]

I love that I don't know why that's an April Fool's prank.
posted by Zambrano at 9:11 AM on April 1

I hope that the April Fools joke this year is that they're not joking.

It's only a matter of time...
posted by daHIFI at 9:16 AM on April 1

Check out what's happened to the little yellow person icon in street view. Pand0wnd.
posted by Uncle Ira at 10:55 AM on April 1

"CADIE has invaded my Google start page on Android... but you can get to it on the normal web too. It really helped me find that thing I was thinking about."

That totally doesn't work. All I can find is porn, for some reason.
posted by Kevin Street at 11:51 AM on April 1

I want to stay at the Colbert Hotel
posted by CunningLinguist at 12:03 PM on April 1

CADIE also write code apparently - although only in INTERCAL. Man, INTERCAL jokes. Do they ever get old?
posted by GuyZero at 1:08 PM on April 1

Didn't they roll out the gmail incrementing storage "feature" on April 1st?

brb, stockpiling rocket-propelled chainsaw guns and beans.
posted by loquacious at 2:32 PM on April 1

And now the Fortran 77 jokes. Man, what's funnier than a Fortran joke AND an INTERCAL joke on the same day?

A: Anything!
posted by GuyZero at 3:10 PM on April 1 [1 favorite]

heh. here's a story about a pretty good april fool's joke someone seems to have played on congressional republicans. (of course, it's possible this snafu wasn't the work of a prankster within the ranks, but a result of incompetence, but for the republican's sake, let's assume it was a prank.)
posted by saulgoodman at 8:42 PM on April 1

I totally fell for this. But then, I always fall for April Fools' jokes.
posted by itsobb at 11:07 PM on April 1