Youtube logician explains why God must exist
April 2, 2009 8:31 AM   Subscribe

Apparently there's at least a 51% chance of God's existence. It starts out 50/50, like with pets. You have, say, either a dog or a cat. It's a 50/50 chance that it's one or the other, just like it's 50/50 that there's a God or not. Well, we exist. You exist. The earth exists. That nudges it up to 51%. If I understand this youtube gentleman. Hilarious exercise in smug delivery of ironclad logic.
posted by stupidsexyFlanders (126 comments total) 28 users marked this as a favorite

 
That guy's logic exists...so I bump it down to a 17% chance god exists.
posted by JibberJabber at 8:33 AM on April 2, 2009


Not to get all LOLXTIANS here. The funny is in the logic, and the hand gestures. You really need to see the gestures.
posted by stupidsexyFlanders at 8:35 AM on April 2, 2009


I think having watched The Office makes it hard to judge this rigorously because it keeps reminding me of Gareth Keenan.
posted by Kirklander at 8:36 AM on April 2, 2009


Speaking of cats, there's one I think he should meet. Owned by a dude named Schroedinger.
posted by spicynuts at 8:36 AM on April 2, 2009 [1 favorite]


"The 50-50-90 rule: Anytime you have a 50-50 chance of getting something right, there's a 90% probability you'll get it wrong." -- Andy Rooney
posted by phatkitten at 8:36 AM on April 2, 2009 [9 favorites]


Auditioning for the Dutch version of The Office?

This guy is going to explode with joy when he discovers Pascal's Wager. It's like super-iron-clad. Adamantine-clad.
posted by East Manitoba Regional Junior Kabaddi Champion '94 at 8:37 AM on April 2, 2009 [1 favorite]


I won't be going LOLXTIANS on him.

Can't promise I won't do a LOLMORAN instead...
posted by DreamerFi at 8:38 AM on April 2, 2009


Ooooh, he really nailed it home with the hitler bit.
posted by fontophilic at 8:38 AM on April 2, 2009


I have to question your posting decisions, SSF, when the man has a video called "Why it is OK for sex to hurt the vagina" but that's not the video you think is noteworthy.
posted by Horace Rumpole at 8:38 AM on April 2, 2009 [5 favorites]


Also, be sure to check out his other videos, including "Why it is okay for sex to hurt the vagina". Anybody got a link to the Michelle Bachmann position paper on that topic?
posted by stupidsexyFlanders at 8:39 AM on April 2, 2009


Heh, you can see I was torn.
posted by stupidsexyFlanders at 8:39 AM on April 2, 2009 [8 favorites]


A lot of things have to be true for God to exist. Like omnipotence has to be possible, and so does omniscience, etc. Let's say there's N of these things. The chance that any one of these exists is 1/2, because either it does or it doesn't. Therefore the chance that God exists is (1/2)^N.

If N=1, God has a 50/50 chance of existing. But I've already proven that N is at least 2. Therefore God's chance of existence is no more than 1/4.
posted by DU at 8:40 AM on April 2, 2009 [12 favorites]


This is gold.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=J-2dtAun06c&feature=channel

I felt kind of uncomfortable watching him (painfully) fuck an orange with the handle of a spoon, but I think it's because he's wasting some potentially delicious orange juice. I don't think he's had sex before.
posted by hanoixan at 8:43 AM on April 2, 2009


People are not going to church as much anymore....

Guys like this have lame brain theories that there is a 51% chance of God's existence.....

Therefore....

People do not going to church as much anymore because of guys like this.

Sound logic huh?
posted by Mastercheddaar at 8:43 AM on April 2, 2009 [1 favorite]


Either the sun will rise tomorrow, or it won't. It's a 50/50 chance!
posted by creasy boy at 8:44 AM on April 2, 2009 [1 favorite]


This guy has to be fake...the God argument could go either way, but there is no way his other videos are real. My bet is he's playing a character.
posted by milestogo at 8:47 AM on April 2, 2009 [6 favorites]


Has anyone figured out whether this is a joke yet?
posted by Kirklander at 8:47 AM on April 2, 2009


Heh, you can see I was torn.

It's just as well. That post probably gets insta-deleted.
posted by Horace Rumpole at 8:47 AM on April 2, 2009


"Sex is not really meant to be pleasurable for the female... If the female enjoys the sex, that's nice, that's a little extra, but it's not necessary..."
posted by grouse at 8:48 AM on April 2, 2009


Alright, yeah, I'm hoping to this 51% of a god that this is a parody account.

Spoon fucking an orange indeed.
posted by fontophilic at 8:49 AM on April 2, 2009


There is a 100% chance that you smart-ass heathens will be sorry when your souls are cast into the Lake of Fire.

seriously, this guy's an idiot

(goes off to watch the vagina video)
posted by double block and bleed at 8:51 AM on April 2, 2009


hanoixan: I felt kind of uncomfortable watching him (painfully) fuck an orange with the handle of a spoon, but I think it's because he's wasting some potentially delicious orange juice. I don't think he's had sex before.

It is very, very difficult to believe that this isn't a joke at this point. Even if it is a joke, I have a feeling he's never going to end up having sex. I've met a few women once or twice, and they didn't seem to take the whole "sex is about the man's pleasure, so it's okay if it hurts the woman" theory very well.

The whole 'women, don't ask a man to lick your clitoris, that's just gross' angle probably doesn't help, either.

Jesus, this has to be a joke.
posted by koeselitz at 8:54 AM on April 2, 2009


Somebody needs to introduce this guy to the Fruit Fucker. It'd be great for his, um, demonstrations.
posted by pts at 8:56 AM on April 2, 2009


DU: A lot of things have to be true for God to exist. Like omnipotence has to be possible, and so does omniscience, etc.

Who says God has to be any of those things? In Islam, God is often referred to as "most high" or "most powerful." In my humble opinion the "omnis" reflect a kind of hellenization of God that took place in the first and second century CE. I'm perfectly happy with a cojourning, "process theology" kind of God, rather than the omnipotent God (i.e. a child in a room full of toys).
posted by Baby_Balrog at 8:57 AM on April 2, 2009 [1 favorite]


This guy believes God exists.
I believe God exists.
This guy is an idiot
Uh oh...

In all seriousness, I appreciate the disctinction being made between this guy and religious belief in general.
posted by jpdoane at 8:57 AM on April 2, 2009 [2 favorites]


I get just a sniff of irony here. Not Gen-X slacker irony, but real Kierkegaard level "I'll take up the persona that I reject without a nudge and a wink and lay bare its emptiness" irony. Or, he's phenomenally stupid.
posted by el_lupino at 8:57 AM on April 2, 2009


I think we're being played, guys. Although I will always cherish "Why Rednecktrucker1969 is wrong."
posted by Skot at 8:58 AM on April 2, 2009 [1 favorite]


I'm perfectly happy with a cojourning, "process theology" kind of God, rather than the omnipotent God...

Don't convince me. Convince all the fundamentalistsevangelicals.
posted by DU at 8:59 AM on April 2, 2009


"...but...there...is...evidence for him existing..........which is the world..."

Omg, the hand gestures....right down to where he waggles his fingers.
posted by Smarson at 9:00 AM on April 2, 2009


People are not going to church as much anymore....

Guys like this have lame brain theories that there is a 51% chance of God's existence.....

Therefore....

People do not going to church as much anymore because of guys like this.

Sound logic huh?


around-the-same-time-as hoc ergo propter hoc
posted by grobstein at 9:01 AM on April 2, 2009


Whops, didn't preview my previous comment. Sorry.

I'm now certain that this is parody, but still, you've got to wonder what would compel someone to spend hundreds of hours doing this. Acting school masters thesis? Fascinating either* way. Thanks.

*cat or dog, being the two possible choices there
posted by fontophilic at 9:01 AM on April 2, 2009


WHY WON'T YOU JOIN ME ON THE HELICOPTER OF RELIGION???
posted by koeselitz at 9:02 AM on April 2, 2009


I lost it when I heard him fail at pronouncing "vaginal."
posted by piratebowling at 9:04 AM on April 2, 2009


Okay, I tried to watch the orange fucking (?) video and I can't get past the fact that he says "va-JI-nal." Ugh.
posted by giraffe at 9:04 AM on April 2, 2009


Well, at least I'm not the only one.
posted by giraffe at 9:05 AM on April 2, 2009


This is all well and good, but it's silly.

Here, everybody go and watch this - it's beautiful.

Nick Cave and the Bad Seeds - Into My Arms
posted by koeselitz at 9:07 AM on April 2, 2009 [1 favorite]


There's some real genius in his "Why condoms don't offer real protection against STDs." It's so brilliant, indeed, I went and transcribed the best bit:

"All you skeptics, this is going to be a real scientific thing, alright? . . . Here I have a glass. This glass represents a vagina. Alright, I have this here [holds up small mesh kitchen strainer]. This is a condom. Because a condom is kind of like a filter, and really small things can get through there, like viruses, right? And this here is some cream that's past its sell-by date, so there's a lot of lumps in it, and there's also still some liquid cream, right? Now the lumps represent the sperm cells, and the actual liquid cream will represent, um, um, um, the AIDS virus."

That's some solid goddamn SCIENCE! right there. And so if this is fake? Well, then, this guy's comic timing on those ums should be brought to the attention of the Coens, because they've found their Dude for the Big Lebowski prequel.
posted by gompa at 9:11 AM on April 2, 2009 [2 favorites]


Flanders, this is you, isn't it? It ain't April Fools day anymore, man, knock it off!
posted by Salvor Hardin at 9:11 AM on April 2, 2009


I am equally impressed that he keeps a straight face and astounded that people (here! not just YouTube commenters!) really think he might be serious.
posted by Busy Old Fool at 9:15 AM on April 2, 2009


A lot of things have to be true for God to exist. Like omnipotence has to be possible, and so does omniscience,

Well, if he's omnipotent, he can do anything right? So he can choose to both exist and not exist. So technically, there is either a 100% chance that god both does and doesn't exist or a 100% chance that he just doesn't.

I think I need to go make an internet video explaining all this.
posted by quin at 9:15 AM on April 2, 2009


If he is joking, he's a comedic genius. I mean, John Stewart should hire this guy - that is the best deadpan moron ever.

My favorite moment so far in his videos is in the "why homosexuality is against God's will" one when he's got the banana inside the toilet paper tube roll and he says "you see, this...this is normal - this is normal" and a brief look of confusion flickers across his face before he plunges onward in his chain of . . . I don't want to call it thought . . . words.

I want to believe this is a joke, because I really want to see this guy get a segment on the Daily Show.
posted by Salvor Hardin at 9:19 AM on April 2, 2009 [2 favorites]


This is performance art. Watch Why swearing is wrong and try to get through the list of words with a straight face.

Just because Kirk Cameron is a dingbat doesn't meant everyone playing the dingbat is sincere.

What I'm curious about is whether he's trying to affect a More American accent for these; his inflection seems a bit inconsistent from section to section and video to video.

Where are goodnewsfortheinsane and jouke? I demand Dutch context.
posted by cortex at 9:24 AM on April 2, 2009


People used to do that to me. Call out my name, and then not say anything. It's bullying. From his "why it's wrong to swear video.
posted by Bernt Pancreas at 9:26 AM on April 2, 2009


This guy looks disturbingly like a UMaine grad student I know who would go down to College of the Atlantic and feed girls 12 years his junior lots of drugs and try to fuck them.
posted by dunkadunc at 9:29 AM on April 2, 2009


Salvor, that one is comedy gold.

"There's banana all over the place...I should clean this up" almost made me fall out of my chair.
posted by JaredSeth at 9:31 AM on April 2, 2009


I thought we got rid of the guy from Creed like 5 years ago. This dude just won't stay gone.
posted by spicynuts at 9:32 AM on April 2, 2009 [1 favorite]


cortex: This is performance art. Watch Why swearing is wrong and try to get through the list of words with a straight face.

Yeesh. I can't even get through "there's nothing funny about having a vagina full of AIDS" without having to pause it so I can laugh my ass off without missing anything.
posted by koeselitz at 9:33 AM on April 2, 2009 [2 favorites]


successfultrollissuccessful.jpg

Brilliant, comedy gold.
posted by mullingitover at 9:35 AM on April 2, 2009


Dammmnnnnn ... this guy's spittin' reality. When he got to the part about the four most evil people in the history of history being atheists .... well, let's just say I was lucky to have seen it when I did, as I was then able to bludgeon my atheist roommate to death while they were sleeping.

Thanks crazy fifty fifty youtube guy!
posted by mannequito at 9:35 AM on April 2, 2009


If have bought a pet.

Is your pet a dog or is your pet a cat?

My pet is a hamster.

*The Universe Explodes!*
posted by Bonzai at 9:36 AM on April 2, 2009 [3 favorites]


seriously, this guy's an idiot a satirist

Very funny, though.
posted by the other side at 9:37 AM on April 2, 2009


I want to believe this is a joke, because I really want to see this guy get a segment on the Daily Show.

Wouldn't be more amusing if he was serious, and still went on the Daily Show?
posted by mannequito at 9:37 AM on April 2, 2009 [1 favorite]


Va-gi-nal sex. Child-birf. The history of human history.
posted by Guy_Inamonkeysuit at 9:38 AM on April 2, 2009


"atheists don't claim no one has a brain, even though they've never seen it. So. There you go".

I was prepared to dismiss this as lolchristians, but yeah this is unexpectedly hilarious.
posted by the bricabrac man at 9:39 AM on April 2, 2009


Poe's Law strikes again!
posted by Midnight Rambler at 9:39 AM on April 2, 2009 [1 favorite]


No way this is real. No way. The vagina video is hilarious. Then again, I *promise* you that there are millions and millions of, well, Americans anyhow, that agree with him.

I can't place the accent..?
posted by LordSludge at 9:47 AM on April 2, 2009


Also, I don't want this to be satire, but it's hard to believe it's not.
posted by the bricabrac man at 9:49 AM on April 2, 2009


Sometimes sincere stupidity is the best kind.

The vaginal pain vid is fucking hilarious. Love the "consolation prize" of the clit for being born a woman. He even allows the ladies to play with it "... even though it has no reproductive function..."

But a man can't play with his toy, hell we're packin' whole CIVILIZATIONS in our junk, be careful where you shoot that thing.
posted by Max Power at 9:53 AM on April 2, 2009


A lot of things have to be true for God to exist. Like omnipotence has to be possible, and so does omniscience, etc.
Who says God has to be any of those things?
Well, the Bible, for one.

For example, regarding omniscience, it says that "Neither is there any creature that is not manifest in his sight: but all things are naked and opened unto the eyes of him", and that "The eyes of the LORD are in every place".

And regarding omnipotence, he's refered to as "almighty" all over the place. Not "mightiest"; "almighty". And, in fact, the King James even directly states "the Lord God omnipotent reigneth".
posted by Flunkie at 9:53 AM on April 2, 2009 [1 favorite]


I'm now certain that this is parody, but still, you've got to wonder what would compel someone to spend hundreds of hours doing this.

Some metafilter members have over 20,000 comments. What compels them? I'm guessing they enjoy it. This guy too.

And the fact that some people are taking him seriously? Well played sir.
posted by Dennis Murphy at 9:56 AM on April 2, 2009


The look of confusion as he contradicts himself in the orange-as-vagina video is priceless. I hope I am wrong about him being an idiot, but I've heard the same things said in all seriousness by the people here in flyover country.
posted by double block and bleed at 9:57 AM on April 2, 2009 [1 favorite]


Flunkie: So, he's like a fourth dimensional being in Sphereland?
posted by hanoixan at 9:58 AM on April 2, 2009


there's nothing funny about having a vagina full of AIDS

That line almost gave me a keyboard full of water. You can't go springin' "vagina full of AIDS" on people who are expecting an entirely different subject.
posted by srw12 at 10:00 AM on April 2, 2009


Did...did that guy just flip me off?
posted by nzero at 10:01 AM on April 2, 2009


Sure, lots of things exist, tractors, telephones, you and me, distant galaxies, I'd say maybe as much as 100,000 different things. But if you think of all the things that don't exist - unicorns, the tooth fairy, anti-gravity belts, the farm my parent said my first dog went to, probably lots more I can't think of - then I think it's fair to guess that there are MORE things that don't exist, like 200,000. So the the odds of god existing is more likely to be 33%.
posted by WPW at 10:07 AM on April 2, 2009 [8 favorites]


there's nothing funny about having a vagina full of AIDS

There's something funny about everything, if you look hard enough. That's my philosophy on life anyway.
posted by spicynuts at 10:08 AM on April 2, 2009 [1 favorite]


A lot of things have to be true for God to exist. Like omnipotence has to be possible, and so does omniscience, etc. Let's say there's N of these things. The chance that any one of these exists is 1/2, because either it does or it doesn't. Therefore the chance that God exists is (1/2)^N.

I know it was a joke, but the problem with this is that all the mainstream variants of the Abrahamic religions hold that God is conceptually prior to the universe, not the other way around.

I like the idea that omnipotence is a property of the universe that God just happened to take advantage of, though. It gives me hope for the future.
posted by invitapriore at 10:09 AM on April 2, 2009


Isn't it late for April Fool's?
posted by oddman at 10:17 AM on April 2, 2009


This is performance art. Watch Why swearing is wrong and try to get through the list of words with a straight face.


I made it like, maybe 15 seconds. Then he starts talking about the "AIDS vagina".

Mountain dew came out my nose. I loled a mighty lol.

Yeah. Hes a comedian, and a few people got trolled.
posted by 5imian at 10:19 AM on April 2, 2009 [4 favorites]


I'm oretty sure that it's eel and it's a joke. He used to have a funny site, looks just like the guy and was an American ex-pat in The Netherlands. If the guy in the video didn't have a slight dutch accent that would be very hard to do with such subtlety, I'd say I was 100% positive.
posted by Mayor Curley at 10:20 AM on April 2, 2009


Ok. Just saw a clip of the vagina piece (no, I'm not going to look at the piece on sodomy).

Wow,what an embarrassment to mammals this guy is.
posted by oddman at 10:21 AM on April 2, 2009 [1 favorite]


There are lots of other things you can say when you stub your toe, or are annoyed... for example: "I don't want this."

Fantastic.
posted by owtytrof at 10:22 AM on April 2, 2009


And the fact that some people are taking him seriously? Well played sir.

Oh yeah, trolling YT is the best. I made a stupid little Lego machine a couple years ago and posted a video. I jokingly referred to it as a "perpetual motion machine". I have received more comments explaining how that can't be (many of the even correct!) than I have all other comments on all other videos combined. Every time a new comment rolls in it puts a smile on my face.
posted by DU at 10:22 AM on April 2, 2009 [1 favorite]


Anybody want to buy some 50-50 lottery tickets with me? We'll either win or we won't win, and if we each buy 1, our riches are guaranteed (logically).
posted by ShadowCrash at 10:30 AM on April 2, 2009 [1 favorite]


My God invented your petty "statistics."
posted by naju at 10:34 AM on April 2, 2009


Brilliant videos. Add me to the list of people who think this is satire (I'm 51% sure. So. There you go).
posted by ShadowCrash at 10:35 AM on April 2, 2009


Dutch! He sounds Dutch to me. Or at least he sounds like Bas Rutten...
posted by LordSludge at 10:44 AM on April 2, 2009


He might be Dutch, he certainly isn't American. BTW, Va-JI-nal is standard British pronunciation.
posted by ob at 10:49 AM on April 2, 2009


God he's amazing. He somehow manages to troll both Christians who believe similar half-logics, and the kneejerk atheists that freak out over his jokes.

The first give-away that this is trolling should have been the improbable combo of Northern European accent and Religiosity.
posted by Potomac Avenue at 10:52 AM on April 2, 2009


This guy reminds me of Alexyss Tylor. Here's a very NSFW video in which Ms. Tylor explains 'hitting the walls and working the middle'.

Her mother is in the videos with her. It cracks me up every time. I can't figure out if she's serious, either.
posted by winna at 10:53 AM on April 2, 2009


and, in fact, the King James even directly states "the Lord God omnipotent reigneth".

Handel's Messiah is not quite the King James.
posted by niles at 10:56 AM on April 2, 2009 [1 favorite]


ah. It shows up on the 3rd page of search results.

"And I heard as it were the voice of a great multitude, and as the voice of many waters, and as the voice of mighty thunderings, saying, Alleluia: for the Lord God omnipotent reigneth."

That's what I get for trusting just the first two pages.
posted by niles at 10:58 AM on April 2, 2009


and, in fact, the King James even directly states "the Lord God omnipotent reigneth".
Handel's Messiah is not quite the King James.
Uh, yeah, you're correct, Handel's Messiah is not the King James. But the King James is the King James, though.
posted by Flunkie at 11:01 AM on April 2, 2009


niles: The bible also says that rabbits chew their cud. So, there ya go. Lots of interesting stories penned by people wrestling with the same questions we wrestle with today. They never asked me to submit my addition to the canon, otherwise there would be a bit about God not being omnipotent and probably also a recipe for possum stew.
posted by Baby_Balrog at 11:04 AM on April 2, 2009 [1 favorite]


Actually, I think that comment should have been directed at Flunkie.

"It's YOUR Bible and it says THIS! So YOU have to BELIEVE it, TOO!"
posted by Baby_Balrog at 11:05 AM on April 2, 2009 [1 favorite]


Excuse me, but I didn't say that you have to believe anything. You asked who says God has to be omnipotent and omniscient, and I answered you. Correctly.
posted by Flunkie at 11:07 AM on April 2, 2009


Man, these are gold.

I love the swearing video where he explains how disappointed Jesus is when people use his name in vain, because he's so happy to have new friends.
posted by graventy at 11:09 AM on April 2, 2009


This is satire. It's just hard to pin it down as such since it's tremendously hard to exaggerate the moronic qualities of something as inane as Christianity. It's a valiant effort, but it's hard to outshine the sun.
posted by JeNeSaisQuoi at 11:40 AM on April 2, 2009 [2 favorites]


I watched with the sound off, and he's actually attractive in a nervous-energy sort of way. I'll just pretend he's making a very lovely argument for atheism instead.
posted by little_c at 11:41 AM on April 2, 2009


Oh for fu... Look, if you don't believe in God, then I'm happy for you. If you do, I'm still happy for you. Just shut up about it. You're ruining this site with the constant snark.
posted by ninthart at 11:46 AM on April 2, 2009


Was it difficult for you to tell from its description that this post was about something that you're not interested in reading about, ninthart?
posted by Flunkie at 11:52 AM on April 2, 2009


Eh, this is a joke. Quite a good joke. But in the swearing video, for instance, where he slightly over-eggs the pudding, it is very clear he is joking. But, the thing is, the videos would be more funny if he weren't joking.
posted by cincinnatus c at 11:54 AM on April 2, 2009


Possum Stew Recipe for King Baby_Balrog Version of Bible
posted by spicynuts at 11:59 AM on April 2, 2009 [1 favorite]


Okay, so, there's a 100% chance that part of my day has been spent watching an unfortunate haircut prosthyletize to me by fucking an orange wit a spoon. For the video to be real, there must exist people in the universe who would make this video sincerely. For the video to be fake, there must exist people in the universe who can maintain that level of character and find the constant, understated humor in it. I have met way more of the first group of people than the second group. Therefor, by bulletproof logic, the video is sincere.

Seriously, it does strike me as probably real, if only because I've known way too many people who would do this sincerely, and have it come out just about the same way. However, if it's a put-on, I have to say that "There's nothing funny about a vagina full of AIDS," is absolutely perfect, a zen koan of humor. It's like the humor equivalent of "this statement is false."
posted by Navelgazer at 12:01 PM on April 2, 2009 [3 favorites]


"Such beautiful hair...
I've been touching the screen trying to pet it... "
posted by LordSludge at 12:10 PM on April 2, 2009


I have to say that "There's nothing funny about a vagina full of AIDS," is absolutely perfect, a zen koan of humor. It's like the humor equivalent of "this statement is false."

There is a 50-50 chance this is the most perfect statement submitted to this thread.
posted by spicynuts at 12:12 PM on April 2, 2009 [1 favorite]


I guess the point of this post is to, um, laugh at him? Dare I say it, but is this the best of the web? Or even the best of anything?
posted by MarshallPoe at 12:33 PM on April 2, 2009


Hey gay people, stop doing that. (In his vagina video).
posted by punkfloyd at 12:36 PM on April 2, 2009


Watch his other videos. The point is this guy is a comic genius!
posted by LordSludge at 12:37 PM on April 2, 2009


I guess the point of this post is to, um, laugh at him? Dare I say it, but is this the best of the web? Or even the best of anything?

Well that argument certainly isn't best of the web. Let's be honest here - the vast majority of the internet boils down to:

1) Boobies
2) Buying shit (including boobies)
3) Shit to laugh at and forward to your friends
4) Flamewars

So, yeah, something that is really funny can actually be best of web.
posted by spicynuts at 12:39 PM on April 2, 2009


There is a 50-50 chance this is the most perfect statement submitted to this thread.

But see there IS a thread, so that clearly raises that percentage up to 51%. Even a scientist has to agree with hat.

*makes retarded hand gestures*
posted by 5imian at 12:40 PM on April 2, 2009


Great post. Inspired lots of writey...

First off he never really addresses atheist’s arguments and just makes hilarious statements and conclusions instead. But first, a qualifier!

1) I am somewhat at odds with logic. It’s is an incredibly useful tool of construction/deconstruction and often provides the crux of philosophical theory. But logic itself is not, and has never been, the definitive system for “answers,” philosophical or otherwise. The basic scientific principal of “correlation does not mean cause” prevents it so, and yet most logic depends on that being true. While it may seem that “science” as we know it was invented in the 17th-18th century, really the basic tenants have always been routed in the pillars of observation and appropriation. There’s a timelessness to those qualities, just as their is a timelessness to logic, but they are interdependent on one another and have always been. More so, in the age of increasing scientific propriety, observation, data collection, and technology, we have a legitimate ability to gain actual substantial answers to long theoretical questions and problems. With that, logic has become the currency of the intellectual disaffected and the occasional dead weight of lunacy.(1)

Enter this asshat.

There’s a lot of general stupidity out there with which I have absolutely no problem. I generally like to single out the most amusing or most outrageous in some kind of personal way. So like those, this guy is special (assuming he’s serious. Which I think is true. More on that later). But this seems to think he is the god of logic. But so often the problem with logic is that YOU define the variables and if you define them wrong you can go of an logic bender that leads you to a stunningly crap-tastic conclusion. So let’s go on a journey.

First off, there is his claim that Atheists don’t believe in god, because they can’t see god. He compares this to the fact that we can’t see air, but we know it’s there. Sigh. The obvious problem is that we can see air. You use a thing called a “microscope” (well a powerful version of one) or other scientific instruments with which we can look at and analyze the molecules that make up this “air” thing you speak of. Even better, he then uses the comparative example of “not being able to see your own brain, yet it exists.” Well tell you what, I’ll go grab my dad’s Vietnam era machete and give a good slice across your forehead, grab a piece of your brain and show it to you before you die. Because you’re sitting and talking to a camera, yes, even you have a brain (of course this implies your sliced brain would still have visual functioning capability). See we have TANGIBLE ways of actually seeing these invisible examples you speak of. The atheist argument is dependent on the fact we currently have NO TANGIBLE ways of seeing god. (2)

The next part is equally awesome. Saying that proposition of God’s existence inherently begins as a 50/50 chance is a total falsehood. Just because there are two possible answers, does not mean there is an equal chance of those answers being correct. It’s like saying there’s a fifty/five chance I’ll be hit by a falling lime green Boeing jet today. The odds are actually dependent on, you know, the probability of said event occurring, not the number of a possible outcomes. It is one of the most basic pillars of logic and one of the first things you learn on the subject: An either/or result does not facilitate either/or logic.

Which then brings him to the “51%” thing where he goes from his already incorrect 50/50 probability of god existing to the the long-pause-inclusive “but. there. is. evidence!… of him, existing!” deduction is high comedy. Needless to say said evidence isn’t presented and instead we’re just treated “we exist” followed by a statement which implies 100% of god existing by saying “And if he didn’t exist there would be nothing.” Just awesome. It becomes evident he has no idea where he is in his logistical time line and is pretty much winging. Then sequeways with a sort of nice equivalent of saying science can’t prove anything “because it’s logic.” Which is oh so failsafe.

The also also best part comes right after that with “the four most evil people in history of human history” (nice repeat) were atheists… followed by the hilarious DOUBLE eyebrow raise (a kind of awesome you get me? you GET me? ATHEISTS ARE EVIL, eh?). Followed by the prefect double hand open of obviousness.

Just Killer.

The also also also best part is what everyone here has clued into: his other videos are even more hilarious, offensive, and culturally charged (the one on sex hurting the vagina being okay in particular), but this one highlights his logistical failures much more acutely.

Psychologically speaking, his arguments are oddly solipsistic. He is taking special care to deny almost any other singular influence on his opinions. Most like to reference and support, his logic is instead a wholly insular enterprise. It is an increasingly common behavior on the internet and something I find to be a result of 1) a disconnected society and 2) bad learning habits. But that’s all conjecture. The dude is funny to watch.

Lots of people here seem to belief that this guy is playing a character and these segments are a joke. Who knows for sure, but the problem is that it doesn’t pass my gut test. I look at him and it reads real even if his statements are ludicrous (a good deal of Christians seem to be just as offended by his nonsense giving them a bad name). He’s just too good the personality type. He’s simply too good at playing the self assured, withdrawn, intellectual type who is probably a libertarian, thinks no one is as smart as he is, and dismays that society does not live up to his standards. Which makes me sad… I’m going to hope he really is playing a character.

It should be said there scientific arguments/theories for god’s existence (the big bang, etc) that are at least somewhat interesting. It’s all deeply theoretical and miles away from having scientific legitimacy, but it’s still interesting and enjoy reading about it. And no, I’m not talking about intelligent design. Any scientific theory that is built on “we haven’t figured this shit out yet, so it must be god” is about as faulty in logic/science/basic life skills as you can get.

For those questioning my motives, as everyone tends to do, I really don’t have a stake in the answer. I might believe in God, but I lean sort of atheist. I’m not sure. I just know that I care about the methods we use to come up with “answers”, because often the methods inform the answers themselves.

Addendum

1- This statement however does ignore the problems created by conflicting data and the mass amounts of misinformation.

2- There are some interesting theories, which I address a bit at the end above.
posted by Lacking Subtlety at 12:43 PM on April 2, 2009 [1 favorite]


If Atheists Ruled the World. -- "All text taken directly from online Christian fundamentalist forums."
posted by ericb at 1:00 PM on April 2, 2009


Cortex, I'm dutch, and I've never met any dutch person this wacky/religious/moronic. My vote is for fake.
posted by DreamerFi at 1:16 PM on April 2, 2009


Wow. That guy has a mind like a steel trap; things wander into it and get mangled.
posted by Hylas at 1:17 PM on April 2, 2009 [11 favorites]


"You can't see your own brain, because it's in your head."
posted by Monsters at 1:18 PM on April 2, 2009


"You can't see your own brain, because it's in your head."

Didn't a guy called Hannibal Lecter solve that?
posted by DreamerFi at 1:21 PM on April 2, 2009


Cortex, I'm dutch, and I've never met any dutch person this wacky/religious/moronic. My vote is for fake.

No, no, I was just asking about the accent. The guy is a satirist, that much is not in question.
posted by cortex at 1:39 PM on April 2, 2009


If anyone still thinks he's serious, watch some of his other videos. Especially the video "Why gays and lesbians are often immoral".
posted by ShadowCrash at 1:49 PM on April 2, 2009


No, no, I was just asking about the accent

Ah. I took the time to listen to it a second time, just paying attention to his language. Difficult to say. I suspect an expat who has lived in my country for quite a while, he's certainly been influenced by the dutch language. Part of the problem is that the Dutch are fairly "proud" of their language skills. As an example - an expat once told me it's very difficult to learn dutch for two reasons: one, it's simply a difficult language to learn, and two, once you've done that, you're not going to be able to practice it a lot - he told me that he once, after his lessons, walked into a bakery, ordered some bread in passable dutch, and got his answer in fluent English. The baker probably thought he was doing him a favor addressing him in his own language or something, but that makes it very difficult to really learn the dutch language. In high-school, dutch kids learn German, French, English, and in some cases you can add Spanish to it, and street-language has words imported from Turkey, Surinam, and god knows how many other languages mixed in.

But yes, his accent definitely shows influences that could very well be dutch. But he makes only very, very few of the obvious mistakes (mostly grammatical constructions) that the dutch make when they're not perfectly fluent in English, so he's either a Dutch guy who's very fluent in English, or he has learned Dutch as a second language.

You're right, I'd love to hear goodnewsfortheinsane or jouke give their opinion as well.
posted by DreamerFi at 2:18 PM on April 2, 2009


Wow, it certainly could be gadreel. I haven't thought about that guy since SexSexWorld.
posted by nicolas léonard sadi carnot at 2:28 PM on April 2, 2009


I realise it's not only not relevant, but also not important, but:

Tenet

Tenant

People confuse the two words all the time and it doesn't annoy me as such, but does lead to a number of odd mental images.

Sorry.
posted by Grangousier at 2:47 PM on April 2, 2009 [1 favorite]


Most true believers are a bit more passionate (venomfangx, anyone?). I vote for fake.

Nevertheless.

50:50 odds that God exists, prior to detecting our own existence (according to him).
51:49 odds that God exists, after we detect our own existence (according to him).

So 51/49 = (50/50) * Likelihood function of (we exist) (this is a version of Bayes' rule)

Therefore Likelihood function of (we exist) = 51/49 == P(we exist given God does)/P(we exist given God doesn't). But by omni-benevolence, P(we exist given God does) = 1. Therefore P(we exist given God doesn't) = 49/51.

So according to this guy, we had a 49/51 chance of coming into existence even if God never existed, in contradiction to his other assertion that we wouldn't exist if God didn't.
posted by topynate at 3:17 PM on April 2, 2009


This is awesome satire.

Or horrible treatise on humanity.
posted by odinsdream at 3:37 PM on April 2, 2009


I dunno, if it was a parody, I did not see the point of it because it was just stupid and offensive. Maybe I'm just feeling grumpy but if it's real it's horribly sad and if it's a joke, it's pretty dumb. Oh yay, a sexist, homophobic christian guy who's clueless about logic. Hi-larious.

To me, it wouldn't really matter if this was meant as parody, because it reminds me of people like this. I don't really care who the individual is, just the ideas expressed, and the ideas don't seem so outside mainstream belief that no one out there is nodding along. So basically, good for him if he thinks he's making fun of the guy watching this & saying "right on", but to me, that guy is still there, and that is sad rather than funny.

Of course, i wasn't that impressed with Borat either, so, could just be me. I think what makes stuff like the Office work is that there are a variety of characters that range from being over the top, to being just like some guy you know but can't stand, to being people you can more or less relate to.
posted by mdn at 3:47 PM on April 2, 2009


After watching a couple (the swearing video is not to be missed) I can definitively say:

1. It's satire.

2. He's making fun of a specific person (or persons) who he knows and spends quite a bit of time with. This person has a strong (Dutch?) accent.

You can see at certain parts he loses his hesitation and says an entire phrase smoothly, like he's quoting something he's heard a hundred times, and every time he does that the accent comes in strong.

Also, the moments at the end of the videos where he hesitates before saying "thanks for watching" are comedy gold.
posted by mmoncur at 3:53 PM on April 2, 2009


At first I snarkily thought "This guys logic is infallalible!"
Then I watched the vagina video and thought "Oh, this guy can fuck right off!"
Then he got to the part where he popped his thumb through the orange and then I was like "Oh, I see what you did there."
The swearing one makes it clear he's a joker.

Heh, funny.
posted by P.o.B. at 4:04 PM on April 2, 2009


All I can say is: it's a shame someone so idiotic is also kind of hot. It makes me feel dirty. And not in a good way.
posted by Issithe at 4:05 PM on April 2, 2009


I think those of us who post here have a very high irony-meter.

Therefore we (meaning those of us who think this is a put-on) may be mistaken.

I believe he is sincere. You would not believe - those of you in the intellectual community - how many people believe this shit. I mean, how many people believe the world is 10,000 years old, more or less, based on the calculations of some 19th century Anglican bishop?
posted by kozad at 5:31 PM on April 2, 2009 [1 favorite]


.... that is not air, rednecktrucker1969 ... That's the Sky ....

either this guy or joaquin is god, its 50:50 as I see it. Comedy Gold!
posted by fistynuts at 5:38 PM on April 2, 2009


i can't get over how HAWT he is.
would totally hit that.
posted by liza at 6:43 PM on April 2, 2009


Gee, it's annoying how us males are so utterly undiscerning about who we're attracted to. I sure wish we were as rational and reasonable about who turns us on as women are!

Jesusophile: See, the thing is, sex is not really meant to be pleasureable to the female. [sticks thumb in orange] ... Women should know, if your man's had a rough day, all he wants to do is just put some sperm into you, don't ask him to lick your, I mean, he doesn't want to have his nose up there, so cut him some slack...

Issithe: All I can say is: it's a shame someone so idiotic is also kind of hot. It makes me feel dirty. And not in a good way.

liza: i can't get over how HAWT he is.
would totally hit that.


Oh. I see.
posted by koeselitz at 8:46 PM on April 2, 2009 [1 favorite]


...unfortunately, I know what you mean. Ugh. He does seem a bit hot.

And I'm not really gay, but I guess I have more of a chance with him. I mean, he's just afraid of the physical impact of anal sex; at least he might be open to the possibility that sex might be about my pleasure, since I have a penis.

posted by koeselitz at 8:50 PM on April 2, 2009


I think he is gay, he seems to set off my gaydar, and he has a few 'stereotypical' signs. Also, he is very very cute, the kind of boy you'd love to corrupt.
posted by kzin602 at 12:59 AM on April 3, 2009


I have encountered many people who believe in the "it is or it isn't, so it's a 50/50 chance" rule as a general principle. These people did not do so well in university-level discrete probability.
posted by tehloki at 3:25 AM on April 3, 2009 [1 favorite]


"Sex is not really meant to be pleasurable for the female... If the female enjoys the sex, that's nice, that's a little extra, but it's not necessary..."

UR DOIN IT RONG.

(And my take on the question, "This can't possibly be real, can it?" - -

He's too good at the part he's playing for this to be parody.
Any actor who's good enough to stay in character for that long would already be famous.)
posted by AsYouKnow Bob at 6:16 PM on April 3, 2009 [1 favorite]


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