Comments on: "I notice the 'wank' has remained fairly constant."

"I notice the 'wank' has remained fairly constant."

Artw — Fri, 03 Apr 2009 11:18:04 -0800

"The editor's guidelines are as follows: First, remember the reader, and respect demands that we should not casually use words that are likely to offend. Second, use such words only when absolutely necessary to the facts of a piece, or to portray a character in an article; there is almost never a case in which we need to use a swearword outside direct quotes. Third, the stronger the swearword, the harder we ought to think about using it.Finally, never use asterisks, which are just a cop-out." - Swearing in The Guardian: A chart

By: Astro Zombie

Astro Zombie — Fri, 03 Apr 2009 11:26:01 -0800

Fuck that fucked up horseshit.

By: jonp72

jonp72 — Fri, 03 Apr 2009 11:26:05 -0800

Needs less shit and more wank.

By: dersins

dersins — Fri, 03 Apr 2009 11:28:26 -0800

Third, the stronger the swearword, the harder we ought to think about using it I see what you did there. Cuntballs.

By: DU

DU — Fri, 03 Apr 2009 11:28:32 -0800

Where can I buy shares? I have a good feeling about "bastard" for 2009.

By: PeterMcDermott

PeterMcDermott — Fri, 03 Apr 2009 11:45:09 -0800

I see there's more cunts than wanks in there. And that's just among the editorial staff!

By: stavrogin

stavrogin — Fri, 03 Apr 2009 11:47:11 -0800

Now that I'm supposed to curse, I don't feel like it. For those whose delicate sensibilities are also offended, I offer you this mental palate cleanser.

By: BrotherCaine

BrotherCaine — Fri, 03 Apr 2009 12:02:04 -0800

I don't get the chart, shit occurs in .9% of what? Editions, articles, words?

By: lenny70

lenny70 — Fri, 03 Apr 2009 12:04:43 -0800

'Shit' has grown disproportionately and steadily since 2005, whilst 'fuck' has gone as far as it can. You can't make this shit up.

By: djgh

djgh — Fri, 03 Apr 2009 12:12:07 -0800

...whilst 'cock' is flat. Speak for yourself.

By: Infinite Jest

Infinite Jest — Fri, 03 Apr 2009 12:18:53 -0800

BrotherCaine: articles. Explained here.

By: pardonyou?

pardonyou? — Fri, 03 Apr 2009 12:23:53 -0800

'Shit' has grown disproportionately and steadily since 2005 I blame fast food.

By: chillmost

chillmost — Fri, 03 Apr 2009 12:24:35 -0800

This leaves me wondering where to go for nosh.

By: Plutor

Plutor — Fri, 03 Apr 2009 12:24:47 -0800

How did the scan handle "wanker" or "fucker"? How about "swanky" or "parsec"? I demand to see source code.

By: Pseudoephedrine

Pseudoephedrine — Fri, 03 Apr 2009 12:26:56 -0800

Hm. I wonder what was behind that cuntbump in 2004?

By: hermitosis

hermitosis — Fri, 03 Apr 2009 12:30:56 -0800

I am glad to see that they avoid asterisks. That always seems like a superstitious contrivance, akin to buildings that have no thirteenth floor.

By: fearfulsymmetry

fearfulsymmetry — Fri, 03 Apr 2009 12:34:57 -0800

When did Brooker start writing for them? Reading his second book of Guardian pieces and he must have made a significant contribution to the averages.

By: fearfulsymmetry

fearfulsymmetry — Fri, 03 Apr 2009 12:36:10 -0800

I am glad to see that they avoid asterisks. That always seems like a superstitious contrivance, akin to buildings that have no thirteenth floor. Yeah, fuck The Times

By: owtytrof

owtytrof — Fri, 03 Apr 2009 12:36:33 -0800

Fuck yeah.

By: fearfulsymmetry

fearfulsymmetry — Fri, 03 Apr 2009 12:37:35 -0800

Oh and to make it the triple whammy... did they double check for 'Scunthorpe'?

By: JeffK

JeffK — Fri, 03 Apr 2009 12:44:39 -0800

Hm. I wonder what was behind that cuntbump in 2004? I believe you can attribute nearly 100% of all cuntbumps to the lesbian population.

By: explosion

explosion — Fri, 03 Apr 2009 12:45:39 -0800

I always figured that newspapers should avoid using explicit language whenever possible, including holding their editorialists to such high standards. However, when reporting the news, explicit language should be made (*ahem*) explicit, rather than dancing around what was said. How I cringed when reading stories about Rod Blagojevich that claimed he said "beep this" and "beep that." Unless this is actually the case, print the word "fuck" so that your reader doesn't have to infer. Too many mutha 'uckers, 'uckin' up my shih'.

By: quin

quin — Fri, 03 Apr 2009 13:05:15 -0800

I've become a bit obsessed with obscenities lately. I work in a call center, and watching your language when there is an open line nearby is of paramount importance, because if a customer hears a swear word, even one in the background, they will complain. The thing is, people on the floor of the call center swear. It just happens. You get frustrated, or excited or whatever, and it slips out. We can train people to make sure this doesn't occur when the employee is on the phone, but when they are talking informally with their coworker, it's inevitable. As such, I've been running an experiment. When talking with my team, I swear. I just don't actually say the word; as in "Yeah, I saw Iron Man. That movie was [fucking] awesome!" where the word "fucking" is mouthed, but not vocalized. Now this is important, it's not over not-pronounced, as if to draw attention to it. The entire effect is simply an effort to duplicate what you see in movies edited for TV where they kill the sound on the obscenity but if you can read lips you can clearly see what is being said. The experiment is, that I've been trying to see if anyone else would pick this up. On a whim, I just started doing it one day a couple of weeks ago, and like an infectious agent sweeping across the floor, most of my coworkers have, seemingly unconsciously, started doing it too. I find this terribly amusing, because I want to believe that to any outsider walking into the department, it will seem like they've stumbled unknowingly into a Standards and Practice enforced sitcom. I'd like to say that I did this in an effort to better my workplace, but I'd be lying. The truth is, I just was bored; these are the kinds of things I do to keep myself entertained in the workplace.

By: krinklyfig

krinklyfig — Fri, 03 Apr 2009 13:08:20 -0800

**** that ****!

By: spoobnooble

spoobnooble — Fri, 03 Apr 2009 13:49:36 -0800

Poop.

By: Vic Morrow's Personal Vietnam

Vic Morrow's Personal Vietnam — Fri, 03 Apr 2009 17:44:25 -0800

I remember the day the Washington Post printed the word "fuck" in reference to Dick Cheney's outburst on the floor of the Senate. It made me way happier than it should have. (PS, note in the link how the Washington Times handled it)

By: dash_slot-

dash_slot- — Fri, 03 Apr 2009 17:45:07 -0800

Wow, quin - your life imitates art, as in I just saw that happen in the David Schwimmer/Simon Pegg movie 'Big Nothing'. Weird!

By: lalochezia

lalochezia — Fri, 03 Apr 2009 18:07:19 -0800

eponysteria time...... Current favorites: twatwaffle, panooch and assgoblin. Your mileage may vary. anus – butt ......... arse - butt......... ......... arsehole - butt......... ......... ass - butt......... ......... ass-pirate - homosexual......... ......... assbag - idiot......... ......... assbandit - homosexual......... ......... assbanger - homosexual......... ......... assbite - idiot......... ......... assclown - butt......... ......... asscock - idiot......... ......... asscracker - butt......... ......... asses - butts......... ......... assface - butt......... ......... assfuck - rear-loving......... ......... assfucker - homosexual......... ......... assgoblin - homosexual......... ......... asshat - butt......... ......... asshead - idiot......... ......... asshole - jerk......... ......... asshopper - homosexual......... ......... assjacker - homosexual......... ......... asslick - idiot......... ......... asslicker - Buttlicker......... ......... assmunch - idiot......... ......... assmuncher - butt......... ......... assnigger - Racial Slur......... ......... asspirate - homosexual......... ......... assshole - butt......... ......... asssucker - idiot......... ......... asswipe - butt......... ......... Back To Top......... bampot - idiot......... ......... bastard - illegitimate child......... ......... beaner - Mexican......... ......... bitch - female dog......... ......... bitchass - idiot......... ......... bitchtits - homosexual......... ......... bitchy - mean......... ......... blow job - sexual act......... ......... blowjob - sexual act......... ......... bollocks - male genitalia......... ......... bollox - male genitalia......... ......... boner - erection......... ......... brotherfucker - homosexual......... ......... bullshit - poop......... ......... bumblefuck - homosexual......... ......... butt plug - cork......... ......... butt-pirate - homosexual......... ......... buttfucka - homosexual......... ......... buttfucker - homosexual......... ......... Back To Top......... camel toe - female genitalia......... ......... carpetmuncher - homosexual......... ......... chinc - Chinese......... ......... chink - asian......... ......... choad - male genitalia......... ......... chode - small penis......... ......... clit - female genitals......... ......... clitface - idiot......... ......... clitfuck - sexual act......... ......... clusterfuck - mess up......... ......... cock - penis......... ......... cockass - Jerk......... ......... cockbite - idiot......... ......... cockface - idiot......... ......... cockfucker - idiot......... ......... cockjockey - homosexual......... ......... cockknoker - homosexual......... ......... cockmaster - homosexual......... ......... cockmongler - homosexual......... ......... cockmongruel - homosexual......... ......... cockmonkey - idiot......... ......... cockmuncher - homosexual......... ......... cocknose - idiot......... ......... cocknugget - idiot......... ......... cockshit - idiot......... ......... cocksmith - homosexual......... ......... cocksmoker - homosexual......... ......... cocksucker - homosexual......... ......... coochie - female genitalia......... ......... coochy - female genitalia......... ......... coon - African American......... ......... cooter - vagina......... ......... cracker - Caucasian......... ......... cum - semen......... ......... cumbubble - idiot......... ......... cumdumpster - prostitute......... ......... cumguzzler - homosexual......... ......... cumjockey - homosexual......... ......... cumslut - dirty girl......... ......... cumtart - idiot......... ......... cunnilingus - sexual act......... ......... cunt - vagina......... ......... cuntface - idiot......... ......... cunthole - female genitalia......... ......... Back To Top......... dago - Italian......... ......... damn - darn......... ......... deggo - Italian......... ......... dick - penis......... ......... dickbag - idiot......... ......... dickbeaters - Hands......... ......... dickface - idiot......... ......... dickfuck - idiot......... ......... dickhead - phallace face......... ......... dickhole - male genitalia......... ......... dickjuice - semen......... ......... dickmonger - homosexual......... ......... dicks - penises......... ......... dickslap - sexual act......... ......... dicksucker - homosexual......... ......... dickwad - idiot......... ......... dickweasel - idiot......... ......... dickweed - idiot......... ......... dickwod - idiot......... ......... dike - homosexual......... ......... dildo - sexual toy......... ......... dipshit - idiot......... ......... dookie - poop......... ......... douche - female hygene product......... ......... douche-fag - idiot......... ......... douchebag - female hygene accessory......... ......... douchewaffle - homosexual......... ......... dumass - idiot......... ......... dumb ass - idiot......... ......... dumbass - idiot......... ......... dumbfuck - idiot......... ......... dumbshit - idiot......... ......... dumshit - idiot......... ......... dyke - homosexual......... ......... Back To Top......... fag - homosexual......... ......... fagbag - homosexual......... ......... fagfucker - homosexual......... ......... faggit - homosexual......... ......... faggot - homosexual......... ......... faggotcock - homosexual......... ......... fagtard - homosexual idiot......... ......... fatass - a fat person......... ......... fellatio - sexual act......... ......... feltch - sexual act......... ......... flamer - homosexual......... ......... fuck - fornicate......... ......... fuckass - idiot......... ......... fuckbag - idiot......... ......... fuckboy - idiot......... ......... fuckbrain - idiot......... ......... fuckbutt - butt......... ......... fucked - had intercourse......... ......... fucker - fornicator......... ......... fuckersucker - idiot......... ......... fuckface - idiot......... ......... fuckhead - butt......... ......... fuckhole - jerk......... ......... fuckin - sexual act......... ......... fucking - freaking......... ......... fucknut - idiot......... ......... fucknutt - idiot......... ......... fuckoff - go away......... ......... fucks - sexual act......... ......... fuckstick - male genitalia......... ......... fucktard - Moron......... ......... fuckup - idiot......... ......... fuckwad - idiot......... ......... fuckwit - dummy......... ......... fuckwitt - idiot......... ......... fudgepacker - homosexual......... ......... Back To Top......... gay - homosexual......... ......... gaybob - homosexual......... ......... gaydo - homosexual......... ......... gayfuck - homosexual......... ......... gayfuckist - homosexual......... ......... gaytard - homosexual......... ......... gaywad - homosexual......... ......... goddamn - goshdarn......... ......... goddamnit - goshdarnit......... ......... gooch - female genitalia......... ......... gook - Chinese......... ......... gringo - foreigner......... ......... guido - italian......... ......... Back To Top......... handjob - sexual act......... ......... hard on - erection......... ......... heeb - Jewish Person......... ......... hell - heck......... ......... ho - woman......... ......... hoe - Woman......... ......... homo - homosexual......... ......... homodumbshit - idiot......... ......... honkey - white person......... ......... humping - sexual act......... ......... Back To Top......... jackass - idiot......... ......... jap - japanesse person......... ......... jerk off - masturbate......... ......... jigaboo - African American......... ......... jizz - Semen......... ......... jungle bunny - african american......... ......... junglebunny - african american......... ......... Back To Top......... kike - Jewish Person......... ......... kooch - female genitalia......... ......... kootch - female genitalia......... ......... kunt - female genitalia......... ......... kyke - Jewish person......... ......... Back To Top......... lesbian - homosexual......... ......... lesbo - homosexual......... ......... lezzie - homosexual......... ......... Back To Top......... mcfagget - homosexual......... ......... mick - irish......... ......... minge - female genitalia......... ......... mothafucka - Jerk......... ......... motherfucker - mother lover......... ......... motherfucking - fornicating with mother......... ......... muff - female genitalia......... ......... muffdiver - homosexual......... ......... munging - sexual act......... ......... Back To Top......... negro - african american......... ......... nigga - african american......... ......... nigger - african american......... ......... niglet - african american child......... ......... nut sack - male genitalia......... ......... nutsack - male genitalia......... ......... Back To Top......... paki - pakistanien......... ......... panooch - femail genitalia......... ......... pecker - Penis......... ......... peckerhead - idiot......... ......... penis - male genitalia......... ......... penisfucker - homosexual......... ......... piss - urinate......... ......... pissed - urinated......... ......... pissed off - angry......... ......... pissflaps - female genitalia......... ......... polesmoker - homosexual......... ......... pollock - polish person......... ......... poon - female genitals......... ......... poonani - female genitalia......... ......... poonany - vagina......... ......... poontang - female genitalia......... ......... porch monkey - african american......... ......... porchmonkey - African American......... ......... prick - penis......... ......... punanny - female genitalia......... ......... punta - female dog......... ......... pussies - Female Genitalias......... ......... pussy - female reproductive organ......... ......... pussylicking - sexual act......... ......... puto - idiot......... ......... Back To Top......... queef - vaginal fart.................. ......... queer - homosexual......... ......... queerbait - homosexual......... ......... queerhole - homosexual......... ......... Back To Top......... renob - erection......... ......... rimjob - dirty sexual act......... ......... ruski - Russian......... ......... Back To Top......... sand nigger - middle eastern......... ......... sandnigger - middle eastern......... ......... schlong - male genitalia......... ......... scrote - male genitalia......... ......... shit - poop......... ......... shitass - idiot......... ......... shitbagger - idiot......... ......... shitbreath - Bad Breath......... ......... shitcunt - idiot......... ......... shitdick - idiot......... ......... shitface - pooface......... ......... shitfaced - Drunk......... ......... shithead - jerk......... ......... shithole - idiot......... ......... shithouse - bathroom......... ......... shitspitter - butt......... ......... shitstain - poop......... ......... shitter - defecator......... ......... shittiest - worst......... ......... shitting - pooping......... ......... shitty - bad......... ......... shiz - poop......... ......... shiznit - poop......... ......... skank - dirty girl......... ......... skeet - semen......... ......... skullfuck - sexual act......... ......... slut - sexually popular woman......... ......... slutbag - sexually popular woman......... ......... snatch - female genitalia......... ......... spic - mexican......... ......... spick - mexican american......... ......... splooge - ejaculate......... ......... Back To Top......... tard - mentally challenged......... ......... testicle - male genitalia......... ......... thundercunt - idiot......... ......... tit - breast......... ......... titfuck - sexual act......... ......... tits - breasts......... ......... tittyfuck - sexual act......... ......... twat - female genitals......... ......... twatlips - idiot......... ......... twats - vaginas......... ......... twatwaffle - homosexual......... ......... Back To Top......... unclefucker - homosexual......... ......... Back To Top......... va-j-j - female genitalia......... ......... vag - femail genitalia......... ......... vagina - female genitalia......... ......... vjayjay - female genitalia......... ......... Back To Top......... wank - sexual act......... ......... wetback - Mexican......... ......... whore - hussy......... ......... whorebag - idiot......... ......... whoreface - idiot......... ......... wop - Italian......... ......... ......... .........

By: lalochezia

lalochezia — Fri, 03 Apr 2009 18:09:25 -0800

Also note that "back to top" is an artifact of the copy & paste I did from noswearing.com, but could refer to returning to your dominant deviant S&M lover.

By: quin

quin — Fri, 03 Apr 2009 19:54:18 -0800

dash_slot- : 'Big Nothing'. Weird! What's even weirder is that I just added that movie to my instant Netflix queue about a week ago, and I still haven't watched it yet. I had no idea that there was anything like that in there, I just saw Simon Pegg and figured I'd have to give it a try. And now I'm having one of those "plate of shrimp" moments...

By: Artw

Artw — Sat, 04 Apr 2009 06:43:41 -0800

I've heard it's awful, FWIW.

By: Acheman

Acheman — Sat, 04 Apr 2009 07:10:26 -0800

This left me nostalgic for the days of the millennial cock bubble.