Robot Dinosaurs That Shoot Beams When They Roar

April 9, 2009 9:42 AM

Michael Bay has never made a flash game, but if he did, it would probably be Robot Dinosaurs That Shoot Beams When They Roar.

Reviewers rave: Most players will find the difficulty level low and replay incentives limited. The artwork barely meets the minimum requirements to be comprehensible. The sound effects appear to be improvised vocalizations. Gameplay depth is non-existent.

posted by Krrrlson (46 comments total)

^Needs more _sickness inducing ^{camera work!!!}
posted by Foci for Analysis at 9:54 AM on April 9

I played this earlier this week and I can confirm that if you like robots, dinosaurs, lasers, roaring or jetpacks you will like this game. Briefly.
posted by DU at 9:56 AM on April 9

(MetaFilter: if you like robots, dinosaurs, lasers, roaring or jetpacks you will like this)
posted by DU at 9:56 AM on April 9

I liked it and I hate dinosaurs, lasers, jetpacks and robots; roaring I can take or leave.
posted by Science! at 9:59 AM on April 9

A -> B != B -> A
posted by DU at 10:07 AM on April 9

The sequel to Snakes On A Plane should be based on this.
posted by aerotive at 10:08 AM on April 9

Michael Bay eating a bowl of cereal!
posted by Dia Nomou Nomo Apethanon at 10:13 AM on April 9 [8 favorites has favorites]

I don't know what Mr. Bay does in his free time. Maybe he has made a Flash game. Who am I to say.
posted by kingbenny at 10:40 AM on April 9

Fucking cutscenes.
posted by Artw at 10:50 AM on April 9

ROAAAAR
posted by TwelveTwo at 10:59 AM on April 9 [2 favorites has favorites]

This might have even been shorter than You Have To Burn The Rope. hard to say.
posted by 5imian at 10:59 AM on April 9 [3 favorites has favorites]

it looks so...REAL!
posted by sexyrobot at 10:59 AM on April 9

so, Are these games the twiterfication of flash games?
posted by edgeways at 11:05 AM on April 9

GRIMLOCK NO LIKE THIS GAME!
posted by milarepa at 11:05 AM on April 9 [1 favorite has favorites]

A cartoonish version of R-Type.
posted by Muddler at 11:12 AM on April 9

I was not impressed.
posted by schyler523 at 11:20 AM on April 9

Talk about leaving them wanting more...
posted by fearfulsymmetry at 11:21 AM on April 9

It was better than Transformers.
posted by oddman at 11:23 AM on April 9

I played this earlier this week and I can confirm that if you like robots, dinosaurs, lasers, roaring or jetpacks you will like this game. Briefly.
posted by DU at 11:56 AM on April 9 [+] [!]


(MetaFilter: if you like robots, dinosaurs, lasers, roaring or jetpacks you will like this)
posted by DU at 11:56 AM on April 9 [+] [!]

Eww. Please don't do that.
posted by Ufez Jones at 11:25 AM on April 9

Metafilter: Eww. Please don't do that.
posted by ROU_Xenophobe at 11:35 AM on April 9 [1 favorite has favorites]

Metafilter: Eww. Please don't do that.

I think the goat means don't do it to your own post.
posted by yath at 11:59 AM on April 9

Metafilter: Eww
posted by Artw at 12:02 PM on April 9

Metafilter: Needs more sickness inducing camera work!!! I played this earlier this week and I can confirm that if you like robots, dinosaurs, lasers, roaring or jetpacks you will like this game. Briefly. (MetaFilter: if you like robots, dinosaurs, lasers, roaring or jetpacks you will like this) I liked it and I hate dinosaurs, lasers, jetpacks and robots; roaring I can take or leave. A -> B != B -> A The sequel to Snakes On A Plane should be based on this. Michael Bay eating a bowl of cereal! I don't know what Mr. Bay does in his free time. Maybe he has made a Flash game. Who am I to say. Fucking cutscenes. ROAAAAR This might have even been shorter than You Have To Burn The Rope. hard to say. it looks so...REAL! so, Are these games the twiterfication of flash games? GRIMLOCK NO LIKE THIS GAME! A cartoonish version of R-Type. I was not impressed. Talk about leaving them wanting more... It was better than Transformers. I played this earlier this week and I can confirm that if you like robots, dinosaurs, lasers, roaring or jetpacks you will like this game. Briefly. (MetaFilter: if you like robots, dinosaurs, lasers, roaring or jetpacks you will like this) Eww. Please don't do that. Metafilter: Eww. Please don't do that. Metafilter: Eww. Please don't do that. I think the goat means don't do it to your own post. Metafilter: Eww
posted by milarepa at 12:09 PM on April 9 [2 favorites has favorites]

Eww.
posted by box at 12:37 PM on April 9

Metafilter: [see above]
posted by brundlefly at 12:38 PM on April 9

Metafilter: Nobody can derail better than we can.
posted by Pants! at 12:54 PM on April 9

Yeah can we please keep this discussion on topic? I think the best part was the beams emitted by the dinosaurs coincidently with roaring.
posted by Krrrlson at 12:56 PM on April 9

Krrrlson--
I don't know, I kinda liked the robots, myself.
posted by Squid Voltaire at 1:02 PM on April 9

I wonder who did the music, it's chiptuney-rockey goodness. Badness. Whatever. Anyway, there are no credits anywhere, and that sucks. RAAAAAAAAAAAAR!
posted by jake at 1:27 PM on April 9

This is the best goddamn R-type clone* I have ever played in my life.

The ending screen made me laugh. A lot.

* and I use the term loosely, as what is an R-Type clone without the FORCE? Still, the ROAR LASER felt like a stripped-down version of the R9's charge-blast, and the enemy patterns felt Bydonian.
posted by egypturnash at 1:28 PM on April 9

Yo dawg I heard you like dinosaurs that shoot beams when they roar so I put dinosaurs that shoot beams when they roar in your game so you can play a game that has dinosaurs that shoot beams when they roar in your game

IN YOUR GAME.
posted by kittens for breakfast at 1:30 PM on April 9

Oh. I stand corrected. I just had to beat the thing to see the credits. Like how old games used to be, before I started taking "Credits" menu options for granted and watching them before playing the game. Hurf duh.
posted by jake at 1:34 PM on April 9

Srrry, Krrrlson. Didn't mean to derail. That just really squicked me out.

I'll play your game when I get home and write a five paragraph analysis to re-rail your post.
posted by Ufez Jones at 1:43 PM on April 9

the scroll on this was so slow, and the awesome soundtrack failed to loop, so mostly I fought with badly done controls and lag (there were some enemies too, but they weren't nearly as challenging) in silence except for the roars.

The ending was not as interesting as people made it sound.

This game is not worthy of the comparison to You Have to Burn the Rope. You Have to Burn the Rope is a masterpiece of flash gaming.

This is not.
posted by Arturus at 2:39 PM on April 9

I have this video game designer friend that always makes jokes about dinosaurs with lazer vision, though he's never included them in any of his games.

I sent this to him. I hope he doesn't kill himself.
posted by Pecinpah at 3:13 PM on April 9

I think the best part was the extended roaring sequence at the end.
posted by Kattullus at 4:28 PM on April 9

Oh man... I hadn't heard of You Have to Burn the Rope before. What a joy!
posted by Kattullus at 4:35 PM on April 9

My browser window did not explode while playing this game. Very un-Bay if you ask me.
posted by Mikey-San at 4:39 PM on April 9

Oh man, Advance Set the Rope on Fire Cartridge is also a lot of fun.
posted by Kattullus at 5:01 PM on April 9

Oh come on. When you beat it, let it sit in the background for a bit with your sound on. It's an easy chuckle.
posted by Decimask at 7:21 PM on April 9

No, sucking a turd out of a dead, run over dog's ass then spewing the turd onto movie screens would be a Michael Bay flash game.
posted by hooptycritter at 7:39 PM on April 9

Yeah, this is more of a guys-who-made-Crank flash game.
posted by brundlefly at 8:48 PM on April 9

Which, to clarify, is an extremely good thing.
posted by brundlefly at 8:48 PM on April 9

Metafilter: Metafilter

THE END
posted by JHarris at 11:31 AM on April 10

Okay.

You can type under "initialise dino-data" on the startup screen. I haven't gotten any responses yet.

While I'm overthinking it: should it be "Robot Dinosaurs Who Shoot Beams When They Roar?"
posted by Pronoiac at 7:29 PM on April 11

A quick decompilation later: If you type "ACTIVATE BEAMFULL" there, it will say "BEAMFULL ACTIVATED." It does nothing else.
posted by Pronoiac at 8:06 PM on April 11