I'm pretty sure I once saw a summary of Requiem for a Dream that was something like "Disaffected Brooklyites try to better themselves." posted by pts at 12:18 PM on April 14 [6 favorites has favorites]
Conan: A young boy grows up to hunt his parents' killer and recapture his father's penis, only to break it. posted by ooga_booga at 12:22 PM on April 14
I was going to say the title should be Cynical Plot Summaries, but then I see that is one of the tags. This will be bookmarked in my Movies folder and referred to often. Hope the list grows. posted by telstar at 12:23 PM on April 14
HEART'S "DOG & BUTTERFLY" — harmless flying protagonist repeatedly menaced by slavering jaws of a monster tens of thousands of times heavier than it; ancient primate looks on and approves. posted by adipocere at 12:24 PM on April 14
I give up on trying to list a few good ones. Many of these are very funny. posted by uncleozzy at 12:24 PM on April 14
GROUNDHOG DAY: Misanthropic creep exploits space/time anomaly to stalk coworker.
SCARFACE: Immigrant finds running his own business stressful, dangerous.
Now I have to explain to my co-workers that, yes, I do in fact know how to drink water out of a grown-up cup without choking and spitting it all over my desk. posted by 1f2frfbf at 12:38 PM on April 14 [1 favorite has favorites]
Okay, sorry, one more:
TITANIC: Crazy old widow disregards lifelong memories of husband, children, and grandchildren in favor of that one time she fucked a bum. posted by Bookhouse at 12:41 PM on April 14 [30 favorites has favorites]
SE7EN: Homicide detectives unable to prevent even a single murder by admitted serial killer, killer gives cop head.
Ok, that's just about the funniest thing I've read all month. posted by bondcliff at 12:44 PM on April 14
ANIMAL HOUSE: Douchebags do whatever they want.
LEAVING LAS VEGAS: Drunk fucks hooker; dies.
THE ACCUSED: Bar attendees disregard pinball machine instructions.
THELA AND LOUISE: Women are terrible drivers.
Here, I made you a delicious sandwich. It is made entirely out of 137-proof snark, and it is very tasty. posted by Nelson at 12:45 PM on April 14 [1 favorite has favorites]
These are great. I would add:
CLOVERFIELD: Self-absorbed yuppies have a hard time finding their way to Midtown Manhattan, end up in Central Park. posted by burnmp3s at 12:46 PM on April 14 [4 favorites has favorites]
Yeah. Just firing from the hip, and probably killing innocent bystanders. posted by Skot at 12:53 PM on April 14
LA CONFIDENTIAL: Rapist joins thug in foiling police corruption scheme.
I just saw this, and yep. posted by telstar at 12:53 PM on April 14
THE PASSION OF THE CHRIST: Mel Gibson fulfills fantasy of showing a Jew beaten to a bloody pulp and killed on-screen. posted by troybob at 12:54 PM on April 14 [5 favorites has favorites]
THE DEPARTED: FBI uses Irish drug addict to taunt clergy pedophiles posted by Smedleyman at 12:55 PM on April 14
Lost In Translation : Suppressed longing leads to underwhelming infidelity. posted by Afroblanco at 12:59 PM on April 14
The Whelk: "ALIENS: An unplanned pregnancy leads to complications.
This is the best summary of the ALIEN movies ever."
Related:
TERMINATOR: An unplanned pregnancy leads to complications. posted by pbh at 1:00 PM on April 14
Their 300 one, "gays kill blacks" is kind of weak, seeing as how "A band of valiant, white, straight, scantily-clad heroes sacrifice themselves to stop an invading force of leprous and effeminate Asians" is not a joking description of the movie, it is the movie.
They also forgot one of the best of all time, (quoting IMDB here)
Rick Polito of the Marin Independent Journal printed in Northern California is locally famous for his droll, single-sentence summations of television programs and movies which the newspaper reports will be broadcast. For the Wizard of Oz, he wrote, "Transported to a surreal landscape, a young girl kills the first person she meets and then teams up with three strangers to kill again." posted by Ndwright at 1:01 PM on April 14 [26 favorites has favorites]
THE ACCUSED: Bar attendees disregard pinball machine instructions.
posted by Skot at 12:44 PM on April 14 [+] [!]
This one is just fantastic. Audible laughter ensued.
If we're going to get all analytical here though: the first two are definitely accurate and blunt, but the movies were kind of just as blunt in sort of confirming that message to a degree. I think the blunt ones work when they're just more specific to a trait rather than overall tone. Like with Harry Potter's "rule breaking" one on the site. It's like the funniest ones are completely ignorant of the point and deeply laced in delicious irony (instead of bitchy, contrarian irony... but that's subjective?). The fourth one gets closer to what makes your third one so sucessful. Anyway, that was all shooting from the hip, but enjoyable. I'm just trying to nail down what makes the posted list so good. This is superfun. posted by Lacking Subtlety at 1:01 PM on April 14
RAMBO III: The United States provides arms, equipment and training to the terrorists behind 9/11.
Bring Me The Head Of Alfredo Garcia: Musician takes road trip with girlfriend, runs into her old flame posted by Joe Beese at 1:02 PM on April 14 [1 favorite has favorites]
HARRY POTTER: Celebrity Jock thinks rules don’t apply to him, is right.
I could never quite put into words why I never really liked this series of books. This is why. posted by Lucinda at 1:04 PM on April 14
BLADE RUNNER: Man with no apparent skill stumbles into escaped robots, fails to kill most, fucks one.
SLUMDOG MILLIONAIRE: Man is betrayed by darker-skinned brother, escapes poverty through blind luck in pursuit of light-skinned woman. posted by Optimus Chyme at 1:09 PM on April 14
HOOSIERS: Hicks briefly experience meaningless triumph.
2001: Astronaut battles computer; becomes enormous baby.
LOOK WHO'S TALKING: Trapped consciousness masks existential despair with wisecracks. posted by Skot at 1:14 PM on April 14 [6 favorites has favorites]
These are really ahrd to come up with for movies with moral ambivalence in them. Practically everything on my DVD shelf is impossible to denigrate in terms of plot. Happiness, Dancer in the Dark? Jeez! posted by Ambrosia Voyeur at 1:15 PM on April 14
CLOAK AND DAGGER: Spoiled teens discover drugs make them special.
THE TERROR OF TINY TOWN: Sining midgets on Shetland ponies pretend they're in a cowboy movie. posted by Astro Zombie at 1:16 PM on April 14
On second view, I'm wondering if he's actually seen all these movies. Some of the summaries are flat-out wrong:
ROCKY: White man beats black man.
RUSHMORE: Teen molests teacher, is expelled. Finds love.
THE PROFESSIONAL: Hired murderer sleeps with little girl.
PREDATOR: American military-industrial complex ruins first contact with alien life.
While others are fairly straightforward plot summaries:
TRAINSPOTTING: Statutory rapist and junkie sifts through human waste, gets enormous sum of money.
THE INCREDIBLE JOURNEY: Family abandons beloved pets, forcing them to engage in a dangerous cross-country journey.
STAR TREK VI: Racist military commander past his prime nearly ruins galactic peace.
RAMBO III: The United States provides arms, equipment and training to the terrorists behind 9/11.
The Curious Case of Benjamin Button: Man defies all scientific reasoning and ages backwards; no one seems to notice, care. posted by Lacking Subtlety at 1:17 PM on April 14
Practically everything on my DVD shelf is impossible to denigrate in terms of plot. Happiness, Dancer in the Dark? Jeez!
Lethal Weapon: Mentally unstable co-worker gets man tortured, his daughter kidnapped, and his house destroyed. posted by Joe Beese at 1:19 PM on April 14
DO THE RIGHT THING: Pizza-delivery person wonders whether he still has a job. posted by box at 1:20 PM on April 14 [5 favorites has favorites]
2001: Astronaut battles computer; becomes enormous baby.
posted by Skot at 1:14 PM on April 14 [+] [!]
Punisher: War Zone: Masochist ignores recycling regulations, kills minorities while guido stereotype goes slumming. posted by Inspector.Gadget at 1:21 PM on April 14
THE ROCK: FBI releases dangerous criminal, puts all of San Francisco in mortal peril in order to break up a group of American soldiers protesting for better compensation. posted by Navelgazer at 1:22 PM on April 14 [2 favorites has favorites]
BACK TO THE FUTURE: Teenager accidentally seduces own mother, father exploits situation to get book deal. posted by burnmp3s at 1:22 PM on April 14 [14 favorites has favorites]
TRON: Overly competitive entrepreneur risks health for professional recognition. posted by Ambrosia Voyeur at 1:24 PM on April 14
The Blair Witch Project: Students go to Best Buy, steal camcorder, stop off out in the forest at night before reading the manual. posted by Danf at 1:24 PM on April 14
DO THE RIGHT THING: Brooklyn resident incites riot, burns down place of employment, demands back pay.
LEGALLY BLONDE: Idiot makes mockery of post-secondary educational system.
E.T.: Out-of-control pet causes mayhem, sadness.
MARLEY AND ME: Out-of-control pet causes mayhem, sadness.
See also: Old Yeller, Cujo, Aliens3, Pet Semetary, the Thing, and the Scoobie Doo movie with Scrappy in it. posted by Sparx at 1:26 PM on April 14 [1 favorite has favorites]
The Thing: Chauvinistic, alcoholic American hicks massively pollute Antarctica, kill only other life form for miles. posted by Inspector.Gadget at 1:26 PM on April 14 [3 favorites has favorites]
THE EXORCIST: A little girl is incapable of taking care of herself.
DELIVERANCE: Four men embark on a sex-soaked countryside vacation trip.
MY LEFT FOOT: Cripple impresses regular people. posted by Skot at 1:28 PM on April 14 [1 favorite has favorites]
Star Wars, Episodes I-III: Duly-appointed head of state suppresses fanatical religious militia, creates countless jobs with massive construction project. posted by ricochet biscuit at 1:32 PM on April 14 [18 favorites has favorites]
The Sandlot: Bespectacled teen fakes drowning death to escape homoerotic friendships, meet woman of his dreams.
-OR-
The Sandlot: Animal abuse and child neglect go unremarked, blind junkyard owner becomes an expert in drool analysis. posted by Inspector.Gadget at 1:33 PM on April 14
Bang the Drum Slowly: A slow agonizing death is the only thing that is more of a bummer than the monotony of baseball. posted by Danf at 1:34 PM on April 14
Every Guy Ritchie Movie (apart from that one): Gangsters in London, some other sub-plot. posted by ob at 1:38 PM on April 14 [5 favorites has favorites]
CLOSE ENCOUNTERS OF THE THIRD KIND: Husband abandons family responsibilities to trespass on military outpost for noisy light show. posted by Ambrosia Voyeur at 1:38 PM on April 14 [8 favorites has favorites]
THE BLUES BROTHERS: Comedians who can't sing or play music destroy Illinois mall with help from singers and musicians who can't act. posted by yhbc at 1:39 PM on April 14 [5 favorites has favorites]
Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull: Aging professor flees to remote jungle to avoid child support payments, escape rogue special effects crew intent on making him look ridiculous. posted by Inspector.Gadget at 1:41 PM on April 14
AMERICAN PSYCHO: Yuppie incurs videotape late fees, enjoys pop music
THE WIZARD OF OZ: Delinquent teen and her aggressive dog flee foster home and go on international killing spree, targeting middle-aged women. posted by FelliniBlank at 1:47 PM on April 14 [5 favorites has favorites]
The Omen: Planned pregnancy leads to complications. posted by Danf at 1:49 PM on April 14
Jonestown: The Life and Death of Peoples Temple: Beloved clergyman assembles his congregation in bucolic setting, serves refreshments posted by Joe Beese at 1:50 PM on April 14 [1 favorite has favorites]
CASABLANCA: Treasonous fugitives coerce responsible entrepreneur into abetting their evasion of immigration law. posted by FelliniBlank at 1:51 PM on April 14 [8 favorites has favorites]
PSYCHO: A thief is thwarted.
VERTIGO: Retired cop likes blondes.
PEARL HARBOUR: War heroes can be douches too. posted by minifigs at 1:53 PM on April 14
Star Wars 4-6: Religious fanatics lie to and groom naive young boy to unwittingly murder his own father. posted by MythMaker at 1:54 PM on April 14 [1 favorite has favorites]
THE ACCUSED: Bar attendees disregard pinball machine instructions.
posted by Skot at 12:44 PM on April 14 [+] [!]
This one is just fantastic. Audible laughter ensued.
LOLRAPE's a bit too uncomfortable for me, but I guess it hits the "whatever is most uncomfortable" definition in the title.
The shorter summaries work best -- they're like newspaper headlines, every word counts. Often adding more words simply belabors the joke. posted by We had a deal, Kyle at 1:56 PM on April 14
DUNE: Eugenics program brings about climate change, destroys universe
"REBECCA: Angry lesbian has trouble coping with a loss to cancer."
SILKWOOD: Angry lesbian has trouble coping with cancer.
GODFATHER: Italian conforms to stereotypes.
GODFATHER II: Criminal immigrant thrives in America; second generation immigrant also criminal.
GODFATHER III: Pope conspires with mafia, Italian criminality hereditary. posted by klangklangston at 2:03 PM on April 14
Moulin Rouge: Gold digger leads on rich man for his money while banging poor writer on the side. posted by [insert clever name here] at 2:03 PM on April 14
THE ACCUSED: Bar attendees disregard pinball machine instructions.
posted by Skot at 12:44 PM on April 14 [+] [!]
This one is just fantastic. Audible laughter ensued.
LOLRAPE's a bit too uncomfortable for me, but I guess it hits the "whatever is most uncomfortable" definition in the title.
The shorter summaries work best -- they're like newspaper headlines, every word counts. Often adding more words simply belabors the joke.
posted by We had a deal, Kyle at 1:56 PM on April 14 [+] [!]
I'm uncomfortable with it too, but that's what makes the specific joke work (not in a general, "it's offensive therefore funny!" way). Not to spell it out, but it's the complete ignorance of the subject matter, and the irony of that ignorance that is funny. Whereas making a crude joke about the rape itself, would be too on the nose and tactless. If that makes sense. Anyways, that's what I'd classify as LOLRAPE instead of what was what above, which was, well, tactful enough for me if that makes sense.
Threads: Woman bounces back from the cancellation of her wedding plans by returning to the country and giving birth to a child. posted by Joe Beese at 2:08 PM on April 14 [6 favorites has favorites]
Harry Potter: Boy locked under stairway by caregivers has rich fantasy life.
2001: Mission objectives thwarted when military men gain sentience, autonomy.
Passion of the Christ: Unplanned pregnancy leads to complications.
Gran Torino: Racist old man employs child labor, implicated in gangland killing. posted by phrontist at 2:16 PM on April 14 [1 favorite has favorites]
PUMP UP THE VOLUME: Teenager faces onerous FCC violations.
PET SEMATARY: Child dies; continues to aggravate.
TAXI DRIVER: Cabbie struggles to understand his girlfriend's hang-ups. posted by Skot at 2:17 PM on April 14
Child molester settles for his ex.
I'm guessing this was supposed to be MANHATTAN? posted by Navelgazer at 2:17 PM on April 14
Dr. Strangelove: Attempted impotence cure brings about the end of the world. The Shining: Man attempts to confront his demons, care for his mentally disturbed boy. Saving Private Ryan: Army sacrifices eight men to avoid PR disaster. Predator II: Rouge cop hunts illegal alien. Shindler's List: Nazi steals money from Jews, bribes army officials. posted by Hactar at 2:18 PM on April 14 [1 favorite has favorites]
HOUSE: Kutner dies. posted by inigo2 at 2:19 PM on April 14
Color me unimpressed by the lot - its an exercise in taking things out of context and being self-impressed by it. I got some laughs out of a few - but not enough to justify not calling it crap. posted by Fuka at 2:19 PM on April 14
Oh crap -- SPOILER!! posted by inigo2 at 2:19 PM on April 14
A STREETCAR NAMED DESIRE: Whore breaks up family. posted by AzraelBrown at 2:22 PM on April 14
The Wizard of Oz: serial killer from Kansas goes on spree with gang, murders two.
The Shining: Demonic kid lures father to his death.
Singin' In the Rain: vengeful actor destroys career of beloved star.
Oklahoma: wealthy land owners and cowboys humiliate poor farm hand. posted by grumblebee at 2:24 PM on April 14
Lord of the Rings:
Band of midgets walks towards what looks like a flaming vagina, bringing jewelry, in hope of a happy ending. posted by JeNeSaisQuoi at 2:26 PM on April 14 [2 favorites has favorites]
THE BIG LEBOWSKI: Unemployed man unwittingly entangled in schemes of moneyed and international elites; best friend dies as a result. posted by Johnny Assay at 2:27 PM on April 14
Color me unimpressed by the lot - its an exercise in taking things out of context and being self-impressed by it.
OLD YELLER: Boy kills beloved family pet while his father is away on business. posted by Atom Eyes at 2:30 PM on April 14
Koyaasiqatsi: World spanning organism of concrete and metal has a pleasant day expanding into planet's countryside; pops zit.
The Truman Show: Reality TV show experiences production delays.
Dr. Strangelove: Woman maritally unsatisfied due to husband's focus on career.
Being John Malkovich: Strange ergot fungus found behind filing cabinet.
Wargames: Main character reaches peak of tic-tac-toe career, switches sports, encounters internal conflict. posted by phrontist at 2:30 PM on April 14 [1 favorite has favorites]
STRANGER THAN FICTION: Imaginary man that everyone can see screws up writer's next novel. posted by AzraelBrown at 2:30 PM on April 14
THE HULK: Angry man throws tantrums; heavy ordnance.
SHOWGIRLS: Women empower themselves through public nudity.
GOOD WILL HUNTING: A young genius abandons his friends and family. posted by Skot at 2:33 PM on April 14
Waterworld: Man drinks own urine. Makes audience want to do the same. posted by TimeTravelSpeed at 2:33 PM on April 14
DOUBT: Nun has unwavering belief. posted by oaf at 2:35 PM on April 14
FALLING DOWN: Middle-aged man walks home, confronted by the incongruities of rules, castes, and mores along the way. posted by AzraelBrown at 2:36 PM on April 14
Ghostbusters: Reckless use of nuclear technology ruins property value of expensive Central Park West real estate. posted by Joe Beese at 2:37 PM on April 14
Oklahoma: wealthy land owners and cowboys humiliate poor farm hand.
My god, thank you, I'm watching a bunch of classic musicals for a project and Oklahoma's main plot was completely baffling. Jud is bad because he's ...poor? And ...leers? And then there is a wicked salon dream ballet? What?
That and South Pacific's message of sleeping with 14-year-old girls who are being sold into marriage by thier mothers being presented as romantic and how the female lead goes from being a horrifying racist to not quite so horrifyingly racist. And Oh god! The opening shot, shirtless sailors in front of a huge sign that reads "TRADESMEN MUST USE REAR ENTRANCE" right before a song about how sexually frustrated they are with no women around? posted by The Whelk at 2:38 PM on April 14 [15 favorites has favorites]
HOME ALONE: Child vigilante administers torture to petty criminals.
Blues Brothers: Two criminals ruin lives, destroy Illinois law enforcement's transportation and then sing and dance.
Highlander: Scottish man outlives many people by beheading them.
Spartan: People rarely talk. Some die. posted by quin at 2:39 PM on April 14
Rainman: Retiree's established routine is interrupted by sudden appearance of his mercurial and cognitively impaired younger brother. posted by phrontist at 2:39 PM on April 14 [2 favorites has favorites]
Monsieur Hire: man falls in love with his beautiful young neighbor, gives her everything. posted by winna at 2:39 PM on April 14 [1 favorite has favorites]
Thank you, The Whelk. I fucking hate hate hate Rogers & Hammerstein. posted by Navelgazer at 2:39 PM on April 14
ONE FLEW OVER THE CUCKOO'S NEST: Native American meets statutory rapist, takes law into own hands. posted by Navelgazer at 2:45 PM on April 14
LOLITA: A pedophile is deliriously happy for a while.
CHINATOWN: Emotions run high over water management issues.
OLIVER: Thieving little children are rightfully beaten and starved. posted by Skot at 2:50 PM on April 14
SYNECHDOCHE, NY: Self-obsessed man confuses life and art.
I watched that *LAST NIGHT* and had this kind of conversation:
BF: What did you think?
ME: It's very strange, Kaufman always does dreamlike really well but this is almost hallucinatory and funereal. It's like an adaptation of Lanark with Proust thrown in and also The Obscure Object Of Desire. It's nice to see a movie be so completely itself and refuse to do any of the work for you. All the shifting of realities and recursions...what did you think?
BF: I think I get to pick the movie next time. posted by The Whelk at 2:53 PM on April 14 [2 favorites has favorites]
GHOSTBUSTERS : Nosy environmentalist nearly destroys entire city. posted by Afroblanco at 2:54 PM on April 14
A HISTORY OF VIOLENCE: As penance for a lifetime of murder, mayhem and deception, man must visit Philadelphia. posted by DaDaDaDave at 2:56 PM on April 14 [11 favorites has favorites]
PERFECT STRANGERS: Well-meaning immigrant causes emotional breakdown of struggling everyman.
SMALL WONDER: Lonely couple ignore son, provide love and attention to appliance.
X-FILES: Federal agents consistently ineffective in preventing crime or arresting criminals.
GREEN ACRES: Rude retiree is tolerated by small-town citizens.
BEVERLY HILLBILLIES: Frugal investor avoids being dragged into financial ruin by greedy banker. posted by AzraelBrown at 2:56 PM on April 14
The Cook, The Thief, His Wife, and Her Lover: French chef creates innovative new dish for his favorite customer. posted by Joe Beese at 2:57 PM on April 14 [1 favorite has favorites]
PASSION OF THE CHRIST: an exercise in taking things out of context and being self-impressed by it. posted by Smedleyman at 2:57 PM on April 14
The original list is lazy. And most of you either don't get it, or aren't quite as clever as you think you are. posted by jabberjaw at 2:58 PM on April 14 [1 favorite has favorites]
MYSTIC RIVER: Sean Penn has anger issues. posted by oaf at 2:58 PM on April 14
GHOSTBUSTERS: Important theological message learned by some. posted by solipsophistocracy at 2:59 PM on April 14
THE ADDAMS FAMILY: A family of sociopaths obsessed with death torment and kill innocent people. posted by The Whelk at 3:06 PM on April 14
Um, noting that these are supposed to be uncomfortable misreadings, not just simplistic misrenderings, Jabberjaw has a point, and the attempted zings on him reinforce it. How is "Scooby Doo is apparently a shark now" uncomfortable?
"Scooby Doo is apparently a shark now" uncomfortable?
Because the user in question apparently felt the need to take their username from a lame Scooby Doo ripoff. Anyway, this dumb serious discussion is ruining a delightfully silly thread.
Everyone, please continue. posted by Afroblanco at 3:10 PM on April 14
ON THE WATERFRONT: Corruption uprooted by pigeon enthusiast. posted by exogenous at 3:11 PM on April 14
Metafilter: Average citizens fib about doing their jobs to impress strangers doing the same. Meanwhile, world economy collapses. posted by pokermonk at 3:12 PM on April 14 [7 favorites has favorites]
RASHOMON: Something happens. Nobody can agree on what.
PIRATES OF THE CARRIBEAN: A young girl and her eunuch bodyguard are unwittingly drawn into a feud between two criminals.
SPIDER-MAN: A man repeatedly fails to kill his son's best friend.
Pulp Fiction: Boxer and hitman battle over lost treasure. posted by No Robots at 3:26 PM on April 14
TOOTSIE: A famous transvestite destroys the lives of all around her.
FEARLESS: Man survives plane crash and is resultantly depressed. posted by Skot at 3:28 PM on April 14
GODZILLA: Giant lizard defines several kinds of awesome posted by uandt at 3:33 PM on April 14
CLOSE ENCOUNTERS OF THE THIRD KIND: Alien abduction preferable to marriage and children.
IT'S A WONDERFUL LIFE: Small town existence drives self-sacrificing, ambitious man to commit felony, attempt suicide; is saved by narcissistic hallucinations.
So far my takeaway from this thread is that this type of summary is harder than it looks at first glance. Keep tryin' folks. posted by GuyZero at 3:35 PM on April 14
actually Oulipian, I think it's more like this
LABYRINTH: Fantasy creatures torment spoiled girl into giving up what she loves. posted by The Whelk at 3:35 PM on April 14
RESERVOIR DOGS: Severed ear, gasoline, and Bob Dylan. posted by clearly at 3:39 PM on April 14
SUPERMAN: an unplanned adoption results in complications. posted by uandt at 3:40 PM on April 14
HIGH ANXIETY: Mel Brooks stops being funny. posted by shmegegge at 3:40 PM on April 14
HAMLET: Deranged coward harasses and kills the last surviving members of his family, gives away country to lifelong enemy. posted by Krrrlson at 3:40 PM on April 14 [1 favorite has favorites]
Okay, so it appears that "an unplanned pregnancy results in complications" can be ironically applied to 27% of all the movies ever made (and 37% of the sci-fi). I never knew.
If I may join the fun (because I STARTED IT):
SUPERMAN: Newspaper writer moonlights. (a more common practice lately)
BATTLESTAR GALACTICA: Battle with difficult machines ends when people reject technology (with some exceptions 'grandfathered' in)
I LOVE LUCY: Immigrant marries unstable woman to stay in country.
GILLIGAN'S ISLAND: Not all 'Desert Island Scenarios' involve sex.
MY MOTHER THE CAR: Unstable man influenced by voice on car radio.
12 ANGRY MEN: "Jury of your peers" is an unachievable standard.
THE BIRDS: Small town doomed by bad relationship with ecology.
THE MATRIX: Underachiever becomes incredibly powerful in a different culture. posted by wendell at 4:04 PM on April 14
Pocahontas: Explorer, pedophile commits genocide, is hailed as hero. Fargo: Lumberjack lookalike finds new use for wood chipper. Forrest Gump: Politeness, hard work, blind obedience to authority keys to success for developmentally delayed. Natural Born Killers: Love triumphs over all. The Children's Hour: Lesbian removed from proximity to impressionable children. Gaslight: Woman nags husband about utilities, home repair. Nell: Stalker traumatizes, abducts shy homebound woman. posted by notashroom at 4:05 PM on April 14
AMELIE: Delusional sociopaths defy Darwin. posted by Krrrlson at 4:08 PM on April 14
THE DIVING BELL AND THE BUTTERFLY: Two-timing womanizer gets his comeuppance. posted by jabberjaw at 4:08 PM on April 14
24: A tight deadline and lax supervision can fix most problems.
HOUSE: Doctors should not be punished for misdiagnosis (the first three times)
LOST: Nothing makes sense.
HEROES: With great power comes ridiculous problems.
LIFE ON MARS (UK): For man ahead of his time, suicide is a good option.
LIFE ON MARS (US): For man ahead of his time, it's just a software problem. posted by wendell at 4:10 PM on April 14
Christiane F. - Teenager girl lives out her dream of attending a David Bowie concert posted by Joe Beese at 4:13 PM on April 14
DEATH PROOF: Accident-prone teetotaller is ruthlessly hunted down and butchered by a bunch of stoned, loud-mouthed women posted by turgid dahlia at 4:14 PM on April 14 [1 favorite has favorites]
A CLOCKWORK ORANGE - Murderous teen awarded Government Scholarship. posted by Mintyblonde at 4:20 PM on April 14
LOST HORIZON: Man believes subjugating native population brings about paradise.
THE FALL: Druggie enlists girl as accomplice.
BLAZING SADDLES: Black man ruins plans for economic development.
YOUNG FRANKENSTEIN: Man resorts to reanimating the dead to be rid of hellish fiancee. posted by LionIndex at 4:25 PM on April 14
Arlington Road: Loving couple find way to deal with nosy neighbor posted by Joe Beese at 4:31 PM on April 14
MONSTERS INC.: Power station technicians gain possession of a biological toxin.
HARVEY: Outcast's raging alcoholism is justified. posted by painquale at 4:33 PM on April 14 [1 favorite has favorites]
EYES WIDE SHUT: Wife reveals to her husband her desire for other men, he gets upset, she consoles him with promises of regular fucking. posted by Ambrosia Voyeur at 4:35 PM on April 14 [1 favorite has favorites]
BALLISTIC: ECKS VS. SEVER: most of you either don't get it, or aren't quite as clever as you think you are
YOUNG FRANKENSTEIN: Accents on patronymic umlats, Terri Garr’s rack posted by Smedleyman at 4:41 PM on April 14
GREASE: Lawless teens step on everything posted by turgid dahlia at 4:41 PM on April 14
THE QUICK AND THE DEAD: An emotionally scarred woman who shot her own father sleeps with a teenage boy, convinces a peaceful preacher to kill people, and destroys most of a small town with gunpowder. posted by brundlefly at 4:43 PM on April 14
ROAD TO PERDITION: Son tries, fails to take up family business. posted by AzraelBrown at 4:46 PM on April 14
FARENHEIT 451: Insufferable boor tries to get people to listen to his annoying lectures about how TV rots your brain and how much he reads, only to find out people would much rather talk about what they watched last night. posted by AzraelBrown at 4:51 PM on April 14 [1 favorite has favorites]
THE LION KING : Animated jungle creatures re-enact Hamlet.
THE ROCKY HORROR PICTURE SHOW : Transvestite Jesus gives his life so that square Americans can discover their sexuality. posted by Afroblanco at 4:57 PM on April 14 [3 favorites has favorites]
MULHOLLAND DR.: Man in late middle-age directs failed television pilot, adds graphic lesbian sex scene, releases the result as a feature film and is nominated for an Oscar
DEAD RINGERS: Lonely boys grow up to find love, women with mutant vaginas, drugs, cake, no ice cream, death
HELLBOY: Terrifying monster frightens away a young woman's paramour, preys on her insecurities, seduces her
JAWS: Hounded animal is shot, stabbed and finally gruesomely murdered
GHOST WORLD: Obnoxious young woman, bored, destroys man's life, gets on a bus
AUDITION: Jealous child ruins lonely woman's one great chance at love
V for Vendetta: Terrorist brainwashes innocent women, attempts to destroy London. West Side Story: Criminal delinquents sing, dance, murder each other. posted by Chrischris at 5:15 PM on April 14
EYES WIDE SHUT: Whoremonger stumbles upon sex magic ritual, nothing happens.
THE STAR WARS SAGA: Two unplanned pregnancies result in complications. posted by vibrotronica at 5:16 PM on April 14
CLOVERFIELD: Self-absorbed yuppies have a hard time finding their way to Midtown Manhattan, end up in Central Park.
I prefer CLOVERFIELD: Self-absorbed yuppie's refusal to evacuate disaster area leads to death of friends, self. posted by Ritchie at 5:20 PM on April 14 [1 favorite has favorites]
Lost, Season 1: White westerners have mental breakdowns while an Iraqi does their dirty work.
Lost, Season 2: Local residents torment survivors of a disaster while preventing them from returning to their homes. This drives a black man to kill a doctor and a cop.
Lost, Season 3: A man travels through time in order to discover there is no such thing as free will.
Lost, Season 4: Scientists and mercenaries arrive on an island with an ultimatum for its inhabitants: give us your leader, or we kill everyone.
Lost, Season 5: It is revealed that the resurrection of Jesus Christ wasn't all that special. Happy Easter, fuckers. posted by pokermonk at 5:27 PM on April 14
DR. ZHIVAGO: Blissfully ignorant young woman informed that she's the bastard offspring of adulterers.
or
Unplanned pregnancy results in complications.
BRIDGE ON THE RIVER KWAI: Malcontent destroys public works project.
BAMBI: unwed mother gunned down by stranger, leavng son to be raised by absentee father posted by TedW at 5:36 PM on April 14 [1 favorite has favorites]
Deliverance: Pals on vacation have wacky misadventure.
Poltergeist: Family regrets real estate investment.
Blair Witch Project: Teen disregards advice to carry handkerchief, finds self in peril
Steel Magnolias: Unplanned pregnancy results in complications
Carrie: Girl is burning sensation at high school prom
Ma Vie en Rose: Transvestite child threatens family harmony, alarms village
Porky's: Teens plan terrorist attack on local business
Helter Skelter: Unsupervised young people gather, hijinks ensue
Brokedown Palace: Vacationing girl learns Thai culture, value of loyalty
Real Women Have Curves: Rebellious teen causes heartache for menopausal mother posted by notashroom at 5:47 PM on April 14
BAD LIEUTENANT: Teens demonstrate the meaning of color coded jelly bracelets to a police official
ZOOLANDER: Male model masterminds intricate scheme to defeat international crime cartel, open learning academy.
MOMMIE DEAREST: Spoiled daughter thwarts, disrespects hard-working single mother.
AUNTIE MAME: Gin-crazed deviant kills husband, kidnaps grandchild, pimps out secretary, employs five full-time interior decorators.
METROPOLIS: Evil twin of robot destroys city in attempt to perform revolutionary head/hand/heart surgery. posted by sixswitch at 6:20 PM on April 14 [1 favorite has favorites]
FelliniBlank: "DR. ZHIVAGO... BRIDGE ON THE RIVER KWAI... RYAN'S DAUGHTER... ."
you leave me no choice...
Lawrence of Arabia: Misfit learns the true meaning of being a soldier posted by Joe Beese at 6:21 PM on April 14
REAL GENIUS: Irresponsible students destroy national defense project.
Also, popcorn. posted by Dr-Baa at 6:35 PM on April 14
DROP DEAD FRED: Mentaly disturbed woman abandons mother and destroys her marrage, affects mental health of those close to her. posted by The Power Nap at 6:45 PM on April 14
POM POKO: Tanuki terrorize, plan massacre of inhabitants of new suburb. posted by subbes at 6:47 PM on April 14
Lawrence of Arabia: Misfit learns the true meaning of being a soldier
I prefer "War Hero Kills: Rather Likes It, Actually"
DIRTY DOZEN: A group of militarist fanatics and their suicide mission
MASADA: A group of religious fanatics and their suicide mission
ALAMO: A group of nationalist fanatics and their suicide mission posted by Fiasco da Gama at 6:48 PM on April 14 [1 favorite has favorites]
Christine: Fixing up an old car costs more than teen imagines.
Shawshank Redemption: Man discovers escaping from prison is pretty shitty.
Bolt: Lost boy in big city learns his true nature after discovering pussy. posted by maxwelton at 7:10 PM on April 14
WHAT'S EATING GILBERT GRAPE: Young man beats up his disabled brother, burns down the family home. posted by box at 7:10 PM on April 14 [1 favorite has favorites]
How about CLOVERFIELD: Douchebag bitches about his last night in Manhattan on a shaky camera. posted by jabberjaw at 7:15 PM on April 14
CHRISTINE : Rebellious youth discovers love, auto repair. posted by Afroblanco at 7:21 PM on April 14
THE ILIAD: Gay pouting leads to disfigured corpse. posted by klangklangston at 7:28 PM on April 14
Death Sentence: Formerly mild-mannered risk assessor kills young men for their muscle cars, crashes them anyway. posted by Inspector.Gadget at 7:31 PM on April 14
Hot Fuzz: Bored small-town cops torment mentally retarded people, blow up pub to deny them access. posted by Inspector.Gadget at 7:33 PM on April 14
HEAT: A long romance ends in tragedy. posted by box at 7:35 PM on April 14
Shine A Light: Middle-aged gay man teaches interpretive dance to a crowd of awkward 40-somethings with the help of a backing band and a few classic Rolling Stones songs. posted by Inspector.Gadget at 7:35 PM on April 14
Here are my versions:
SLUMDOG MILLIONAIRE: Bombay Dreams now cost two million Indian Rupees.
BLUES BROTHERS 2000: Everything's better with song and dance.
HANCOCK: You need super-human strength to get away from your ex.
LADY IN THE WATER: Even in children's fables, climax scenes happen only after all cameras are in place. posted by the cydonian at 7:41 PM on April 14
GIMME SHELTER: Thanks to the help of real-life lawyer Melvin Belli, Mick Jagger gets away with murder. posted by box at 7:42 PM on April 14
ANGEL: Mostly-retired sadistic serial killer reminisces about his glory days while trying to avoid their lingering consequences.
ARRESTED DEVELOPMENT: Middle son attempts to seize control of the family fortune in his father's absence.
The secret to doing these is to provide a mostly-true summary but nuanced to make it sound much, much worse. This is basically how Focus on the Family would present the movies and TV shows it critiqued back when I used to read their mailings. posted by suetanvil at 7:43 PM on April 14 [2 favorites has favorites]
THE LAST WALTZ: Rich guys hire Martin Scorsese to film their retirement party. posted by box at 7:44 PM on April 14 [1 favorite has favorites]
THE MATRIX: Computer geek quits his job to spend more time playing a superhero in an online game. posted by roystgnr at 7:48 PM on April 14 [3 favorites has favorites]
BACK TO THE FUTURE: Eccentric old loner helps his friend's father hook up with a teenaged girl. posted by roystgnr at 7:54 PM on April 14 [3 favorites has favorites]
Shrek: Conservative monster petitions government to evict immigrants.
Neon Genesis Evangelion: Deranged boy drives mother to kill God.
Akira: Self-absorbed delinquent absorbs self, Tokyo. posted by agent at 8:20 PM on April 14 [7 favorites has favorites]
THERE WILL BE BLOOD: Oilman struggles with his faith. posted by hojoki at 8:46 PM on April 14
TAXI DRIVER: Young war veteran is the last to witness an attractive Cybill Shepherd. posted by hojoki at 8:55 PM on April 14 [3 favorites has favorites]
FORREST GUMP: A moron named after a racist enjoys good fortune. This is an allegory for the American Dream. posted by Fiasco da Gama at 8:59 PM on April 14
GREY GARDENS : Reclusive, disposophobic daughter enables mother to live in squalor and isolation. posted by Afroblanco at 9:02 PM on April 14
THE DREAMERS: French misfits reenact scenes from their favorite movies. posted by The Whelk at 9:06 PM on April 14
CLERKS : Nothing is funnier than dick jokes.
MALL RATS : Nothing is funnier than dick jokes.
CHASING AMY : Heh heh. Heh heh. Lesbians are hot.
JAY AND SILENT BOB STRICK BACK : Nothing is funnier than dick jokes.
DOGMA : Nothing is funnier than Catholics. posted by Afroblanco at 9:07 PM on April 14 [4 favorites has favorites]
SPACE CAMP : Juvenile delinquents steal space ship and use it to cause millions of dollars worth of damage. posted by Afroblanco at 9:11 PM on April 14
SUPERMAN RETURNS: Unstoppable Alien stops U.S Economic progress. posted by The Whelk at 9:13 PM on April 14
WALL STREET : Idealistic young stockbrocker sacrifices himself to expose corruption in the financial sector and save his father's company. posted by Afroblanco at 9:17 PM on April 14 [1 favorite has favorites]
EDWARD SCISSORHANDS: Grandma reminicses on old boyfriend. posted by porpoise at 9:37 PM on April 14
STARSHIP TROOPERS: A city is secretly destroyed by veterans in order to justify sending thousands of children into space to battle insects. posted by Down10 at 9:46 PM on April 14
GODZILLA VS KING KONG: Invasive species disrupt Japan countryside, government measures ineffective. posted by anti social order at 9:47 PM on April 14
WAR OF THE WORLDS: Using total annihilation by space aliens as a distraction, dockworker murders frightened man. posted by turgid dahlia at 9:48 PM on April 14
THE LAWNMOWER MAN: Retarded man cuts grass, becomes an evil cybernetic overlord. posted by Down10 at 9:49 PM on April 14
CLOSE ENCOUNTERS OF THE THIRD KIND: Foolish humans wrangled by musical notes. posted by Down10 at 9:53 PM on April 14
THE LAWNMOWER MAN : Low-quality CGI barely distracts you from the fact that THIS MOVIE DOESN'T HAVE A GODDAMN THING TO DO WITH THE SHORT STORY THAT IT'S ALLEGEDLY BASED ON. posted by Afroblanco at 9:58 PM on April 14 [1 favorite has favorites]
THE LIFE AQUATIC WITH STEVE ZISSOU: Toxic-waste-dumping, rich western vigilantes violate international maritime law to once again trample the rights of poor men forced into piracy by global economic inequality. AIG executive and international playboy are bailed out. posted by The World Famous at 10:09 PM on April 14
GREMLINS: Demons can be purchased at any Asian market.
AIR BUD: Basketball rule book omits an outlandish scenario.
A NIGHTMARE ON ELM STREET: Johnny Depp has a powerful nocturnal emission. posted by Down10 at 10:13 PM on April 14
It's hard to do these properly when almost all of the movies in my collection are subversive to begin with, but I've just gotten home from a GIlbert & Sullivan rehearsal, so:
THE PIRATES OF PENZANCE: Marauding noblemen terrorize an aging veteran until he gives them his beloved daughters. posted by Navelgazer at 10:16 PM on April 14
CONTROL: Ian Curtis dies, friends and family profit. posted by threeze at 10:18 PM on April 14
desjardins
I likewise wondered about that Cloak And Dagger description. I just realized, though, that he's thinking of the comic book characters. posted by Clay201 at 10:21 PM on April 14
A CLOCKWORK ORANGE: A teenager undergoes treatment for his addiction to milk. posted by Down10 at 10:24 PM on April 14
MY COUSIN VINNY: Inexperienced attorney risks relatives life and freedom to jumpstart his own career. posted by Navelgazer at 10:26 PM on April 14
THE BIG CHILL: Friend's suicide provides excuse for spousally-sanctioned infidelity. posted by Navelgazer at 10:27 PM on April 14
MILK: Straight shooter prevails over backstabbing politician.
COMMANDO: A busy father skips his flight and proceeds to cancel dozens of meetings with his peers in hopes of picking up his daughter on time. posted by maxwelton at 10:32 PM on April 14 [1 favorite has favorites]
TRUE LIES: Distant, untruthful husband tricks wife into performing unwilling striptease. posted by Navelgazer at 10:38 PM on April 14
MEAN GIRLS: Teenage girl disobeys parents, destroys royal tradition.
RENT: New York creative types willfully impede attempts to improve a bad neighborhood.
Pi: Obsessive recluse kills mentor, cheats orthodox Jews out of long-sought-after secret.
Angel Heart: Alektorophobic Private Investigator rapes teenager, dies.
Hard Candy: New couple have first fight.
1984: A dangerous terrorist is captured, rehabilitated.
A.I.: Wealthy unstable mother abandons comatose son for expensive doll, abandons doll when son revives.
High Plains Drifter: Vengeance-driven madman vandalizes, burns town.
Pleasantville: TV-junkie sex perverts ruin lives of peaceful townsfolk.
The Passion of the Christ: Megalomaniac is tortured to death, rest of world won't shut up about it for millennia.
Sleeping Beauty: Rich white man feels up comatose underage girl, kills the woman who swore to protect her.
The Clearing: Wealthy industrialist lacks sympathy for people with less money than himself.
Pitch Black: Serial killer exploits his affinity for bats to lure androgynous teenager into small aircraft.
Cold Mountain: Deserter kills militia men, impregnates virgin.
Unbreakable: Two men in their 40's become friends, discover irreconcilable differences. posted by Mister Moofoo at 11:08 PM on April 14 [1 favorite has favorites]
I HEART HUCKABEES: Los Angeles environmentalist linked to arson, violence, and mental illness.
GROSSE POINTE BLANK: Hired killer invades quiet town to indulge in murder and narcissism.
SAVAGE GRACE: unplanned pregnancy leads to complications
CUBE: Numbers whiz allows innocent people to die gruesome deaths.
FINAL DESTINATION: Teens defy higher power and are struck down.
HAROLD AND MAUDE: Older woman takes advantage of a suicidal young man.
RUN LOLA RUN: Chronically late woman gets her boyfriend killed.
STIR OF ECHOES: Unstable father ignores his family for a teenage girl. posted by mindless progress at 11:16 PM on April 14 [2 favorites has favorites]
Just a couple I thought of looking at my (sad and small and bad for this exercise) DVD collection:
Time Bandits: Microwaved treat kills parents of mentally unstable child.
I feel really bad that this one just popped into my head, because it's awful.
Northern Exposure: Ungrateful Jew attempts to scam state out of hundreds of thousands of dollars in goods and services. posted by malthas at 11:26 PM on April 14 [1 favorite has favorites]
SLINGBLADE: Sadistic son manipulates mentally unstable man into killing own father.
12 MONKEYS: Work-release volunteer turned vigilante fights ecoterrorists. posted by saysthis at 1:22 AM on April 15
THE SHINING: Failed writer attempts to murder own family. posted by mary8nne at 3:29 AM on April 15
THE SHINING: Failed writer kills black guy posted by mary8nne at 3:29 AM on April 15
Yikes. A lot of folks here have the lyrics open in a different tab but appear to have never heard the song.
These aren't just single-sentence summaries. These aren't supposed to be quick commentaries (a la Movie-a-Minute). These are supposed to be single-sentence summaries of movies, but phrased in such a manner that only makes sense if you've seen it and, even then, is unlikely to have been what you got out of it when you saw it.
MERE SUMMARY: BOONDOCK SAINTS: Serial killers aided by FBI agent.
MERE COMMENTARY: HIGH ANXIETY: Mel Brooks stops being funny.
HOW THEY ARE SUPPOSED TO WORK: BOONDOCK SAINTS: Employees angry to find selves outsourced.
Now I feel awful for having gone to such efforts to explain a joke. Nothing kills humor quite as fast, except maybe the same joke being used over and over ("an unplanned…"). posted by DoctorFedora at 3:52 AM on April 15 [5 favorites has favorites]
DoctorFedora: You should see what these people think qualifies as limericks. Their haiku are even worse. posted by dirty lies at 4:27 AM on April 15
THE DEVIL WEARS PRADA: An emaciated white woman betrays her mentor and dumps her boyfriend, travels to Paris to throw a Blackberry into a fountain. posted by clockzero at 4:33 AM on April 15 [1 favorite has favorites]
SNOW WHITE: Seven infantile midgets exploit a narcoleptic beauty. posted by daniel_charms at 6:31 AM on April 15
YOUTUBE : Americans apparently more skilled at making videos than forming complete sentences. posted by Afroblanco at 6:58 AM on April 15
HOWL'S MOVING CASTLE: Old lady destroys a wizard's house, ruins his livelyhood.
JAMES BOND: Genius scientist's groundbreaking experiment ruined by foreign spy. (alternative: plan for world peace ruined by foreign spy)
WAR AND PEACE: Fat Russian nobleman squanders his fortune on utopian projects. posted by daniel_charms at 7:05 AM on April 15
MULHOLLAND DR.: Failed actress hallucinates, commits suicide
CANDIDE: Naive youth takes road trip, becomes disillusioned, takes up gardening
CASABLANCA: Bar owner kills high ranking official, provides material support to terrorists
RAINMAN: Narcissist kidnaps mentally handicapped man, exploits him in gambling scheme, seeks custody
LORD OF THE FLIES: Children left to own devices, anarchy ensues posted by effwerd at 7:31 AM on April 15
PRETTY WOMAN : Prostitute hired.
Make that: Prostitute hired, retained.
ROCKY: Black man beats white man, but just barely. And for how long? posted by Eideteker at 7:45 AM on April 15
GLENGARY GLENROSS - Over zealous sales management technique leads to declining revenues. posted by Keith Talent at 8:05 AM on April 15
This kind of thing has already been done by lots of movie haiku sites.
WHEN HARRY MET SALLY
Old Billy Crystal
Looks mysteriously like
Young Billy Crystal
AMERICAN HISTORY X
White supremacist
Hears black guy tell joke in jail
And changes his ways posted by Beardman at 8:07 AM on April 15
These aren't just single-sentence summaries. These aren't supposed to be quick commentaries (a la Movie-a-Minute).
In fairness, though, a good fraction of the summaries in the original linked blog post are just single-sentence summaries or quick commentaries, even if that wasn't the intent. posted by DevilsAdvocate at 8:08 AM on April 15
GLENGARRY GLENROSS : Failing business reduces office expenses by limiting coffee consumption. posted by Afroblanco at 8:21 AM on April 15
A League if their Own: Women steal jobs from men at war, cry about it.
There Will Be Blood: Man abuses adoption system and steals milkshakes from country people.
Little Miss Sunshine: Coached by her drug-addicted grandfather a young girl performs a strip-tease on stage. posted by Alison at 9:17 AM on April 15
BREAKFAST AT TIFFANY'S: Young couple commit a petty theft.
ARMAGEDDON: In the face of a threat to the planet, NASA demonstrates its incompetence, while all other space agencies fail to react at all.
DAS BOOT: Submarine crew commits treachery.
AMADEUS: Celebrity musician spends his days drinking, fails to fulfil a contract. posted by daniel_charms at 9:25 AM on April 15
WIZARD OF OZ: What happens over the rainbow, stays over the rainbow. posted by Danf at 10:20 AM on April 15
RUN LOLA RUN: Chronically late woman gets her boyfriend killed.
RUN LOLA RUN: Proof-of-payment fare scheme beneficial to homeless. posted by oaf at 10:31 AM on April 15
It certainly helps to imagine the plot as viewed from the point of view of the antagonist, or a disinterested third party. Especially a deranged disinterested third party.
I like the euphemistic treatments of arguably awful events, turning them into nice-sounding things. Someone included in their "Requiem for a Dream" summary that the girl manages to "make ends meet." If I'd been drinking, there would have been a spit take. posted by Mister Moofoo at 3:24 PM on April 15
Oh, and:
Mary Poppins: Witch's attempts to disrupt cycle of abuse through escapism end in tears. posted by Mister Moofoo at 3:36 PM on April 15
Lost Highway: I really have no idea posted by criticalbill at 3:42 PM on April 15
PATTON: Penis shaped blot on giant American flag incites mass murder of thousands of employees of the German government. posted by Smedleyman at 6:48 AM on April 17 [1 favorite has favorites]
THE PRESTIGE: Professional dispute arises between two men who kill small birds for others' entertainment. posted by Ritchie at 7:54 PM on April 21
Eraserhead: Man leads lonely life in the city. -or- An unplanned pregnancy leads to complications. posted by owtytrof at 8:42 AM on April 22
Eraserhead: Single parent loses head over glamorous neighbour. posted by Grangousier at 4:29 PM on April 23
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Well, yes. Yes she does.
ALIENS: An unplanned pregnancy leads to complications.
This is the best summary of the ALIEN movies ever.
posted by The Whelk at 12:11 PM on April 14