Comments on: Today a sewing machine - tomorrow a dirty bomb

Today a sewing machine - tomorrow a dirty bomb

rongorongo — Wed, 15 Apr 2009 03:48:45 -0800

Dig out your old Singer sewing machines from the attic and sell them to somebody in Saudi Arabia for a fortune on account of the red mercury they contain. Red mercury allows nuclear bombs to be constructed without the need for plutonium [previously]. Red mercury came originally from Russia. Or from the Nazis. Red mercury was invented to lure terrorists in sting operations. It is a medicine for treating impotency. Red mercury will bring long life. It is cinnabar. It is mercury iodide. It is Lithium 6. It is a Bose Einstein Condensate. It is a ballotechnic mercury compound. It is a codeword. It's a game. It costs $300,000 per kilo.

By: spicynuts

spicynuts — Wed, 15 Apr 2009 03:50:25 -0800

is it mercurochrome? cuz my mom used to put that shit on my owies when I was a kid.

By: aetg

aetg — Wed, 15 Apr 2009 03:57:44 -0800

rongorongo are you telling me to sell my sewing machine to support the terrorists? just checking.....

By: orme

orme — Wed, 15 Apr 2009 04:04:22 -0800

This shit is real. My grandmother once leveled an entire city block while sewing a pair of plutonium pants.

By: 1adam12

1adam12 — Wed, 15 Apr 2009 04:05:49 -0800

My grandmother was a seamstress in Poland and had a circa 1910 Singer machine. Nothing strange ever happened to her other than the levitation.

By: cavalier

cavalier — Wed, 15 Apr 2009 04:29:06 -0800

Every time one of you assholes thinks your single link funny website is a good post, I want you to look at this post. <3

By: rongorongo

rongorongo — Wed, 15 Apr 2009 04:33:20 -0800

>rongorongo are you telling me to sell my sewing machine to support the terrorists? After researching all the links above I am waiting for them to come and break down the front door within minutes. My hand is on the handle and I've got a curtain hem all lined up. You'll never take me alive! Never!

By: bigmusic

bigmusic — Wed, 15 Apr 2009 04:37:09 -0800

$ ≠ £

By: bigmusic

bigmusic — Wed, 15 Apr 2009 04:46:18 -0800

In the city of Madina, people were holding mobile phones up to the machines, due to the belief that they could be used to detect the presence of red mercury. An intersection of technology and mysticism rears it's head again. Watch out you old analog e-meter, the cell-phone is coming for you. - Now instead carrying around a geiger counter for dectecing red mecury and an old, bulky, conspicuous emeter for doing your solo auditing for your next OT, just whip out your iPhone. It's changing the world, one soul at a time.

By: Devils Rancher

Devils Rancher — Wed, 15 Apr 2009 04:49:25 -0800

This is a truly awesome post. I found out I didn't know about something that didn't even exist! Thanks, Metafilter!

By: DU

DU — Wed, 15 Apr 2009 04:56:51 -0800

Phil Spector pulled a gun on my sewing machine once.

By: exogenous

exogenous — Wed, 15 Apr 2009 04:58:12 -0800

Nice post but the "mercury iodide" link to Wiley is giving me a cookie error.

By: Meatbomb

Meatbomb — Wed, 15 Apr 2009 05:23:24 -0800

Pirates tried to steal my Singer, but the dolphins stopped them.

By: Ironmouth

Ironmouth — Wed, 15 Apr 2009 05:30:35 -0800

This substance cannot be.used to create a nuclear weapon without the Plutonium. Rather an irradiated version can be used to create a radiation weapon. There's a huge difference.

By: mygoditsbob

mygoditsbob — Wed, 15 Apr 2009 05:33:58 -0800

In the city of Madina, people were holding mobile phones up to the machines, due to the belief that they could be used to detect the presence of red mercury. Actually, there may be some truth in this, a careful perusal of the iTunes store reveals a secret Red Mercury apps section. Installation of this app turns your iPhone into a Red Mercury detector.

By: MuffinMan

MuffinMan — Wed, 15 Apr 2009 05:40:00 -0800

And we consider this odder than building an entire country on the worship of rules of a mysterious entity that doesn't provably exist?

By: Pollomacho

Pollomacho — Wed, 15 Apr 2009 05:41:31 -0800

Pirates tried to steal my Singer, but the dolphins stopped them. Are you a member of Motley Crue? Also, it's the Steelers, not Pirates.

By: thebellafonte

thebellafonte — Wed, 15 Apr 2009 05:47:25 -0800

According to Wikipedia, Red Mercury references can be found in role-playing games, video games, and science fiction trilogies. This would explain my 15 year old bespectacled cousin Bradford, and his endless onslaught of explosives terminology. (Particularly his comment one Thanksgiving that the cranberry sauce tasted "murky", and his suspicion that it contained traces of Red Mercury.) Wish I were kidding.

By: Lemurrhea

Lemurrhea — Wed, 15 Apr 2009 05:48:09 -0800

Red Mercury is my new bicycle. Pray that I never crash.

By: R. Mutt

R. Mutt — Wed, 15 Apr 2009 06:01:44 -0800

It is a well known artworld secret that the best red paint is Red Mercury. Picasso swore by it, as did Warhol. De Kooning was said to actually eat the stuff.

By: boo_radley

boo_radley — Wed, 15 Apr 2009 06:16:10 -0800

Dammit, I heard about this on BBC Global News and thought it'd make a great post, and here you are, making a great post about red mercury. I shall have all of my thunder shipped to you forthwith.

By: PenDevil

PenDevil — Wed, 15 Apr 2009 06:17:13 -0800

Ahh memories. My first argument at Metafilter was in that old Red Mercury thread... jeezus 6 1/2 years ago. Well now I'm depressed.

By: Jeremy

Jeremy — Wed, 15 Apr 2009 06:30:28 -0800

This is one of the most successful CIA misinformation campaigns ever!

By: onalark

onalark — Wed, 15 Apr 2009 06:41:58 -0800

What a great post!

By: Mister_A

Mister_A — Wed, 15 Apr 2009 06:50:12 -0800

I have a few of these–do you think I could still sell them to some dummies? I could use an extra few tens of thousands of dollars.

By: Pollomacho

Pollomacho — Wed, 15 Apr 2009 07:08:03 -0800

When I was a kid my dad had a red mecury. He bought it in 1972 for $2000. It was a real clunker.

By: electroboy

electroboy — Wed, 15 Apr 2009 07:09:49 -0800

This substance cannot be.used to create a nuclear weapon without the Plutonium. Rather an irradiated version can be used to create a radiation weapon. There's a huge difference. Stick with the law-talking, Ironmouth.

By: verb

verb — Wed, 15 Apr 2009 07:18:35 -0800

See, this thread is why mefi needs images. Or maybe it's why Mefi shouldn't have images. I'm not sure.

By: Chrysostom

Chrysostom — Wed, 15 Apr 2009 07:19:52 -0800

Every time one of you assholes thinks your single link funny website is a good post, I want you to look at this post. This IS a great post. Single link funny websites can be great posts, too.

By: GuyZero

GuyZero — Wed, 15 Apr 2009 07:48:14 -0800

It's also dragon food in long drawn-out fantasy novels.

By: roll truck roll

roll truck roll — Wed, 15 Apr 2009 08:03:37 -0800

Interesting. It's just like when people thought they could make a fortune by selling old jeans in Russia.

By: P.o.B.

P.o.B. — Wed, 15 Apr 2009 08:07:32 -0800

Every time one of you assholes thinks your single link funny website is a good post, I want you to look at this post. Every time one of you excellent people thinks your single sentence of snark is funny or is a good comment, I want you to think about this douchey comment.

By: jamjam

jamjam — Wed, 15 Apr 2009 08:29:25 -0800

Red mercury is all you need to achieve critical mass hysteria.

By: filthy light thief

filthy light thief — Wed, 15 Apr 2009 08:47:55 -0800

$ ≠ £ - depends on who you ask.

By: nanojath

nanojath — Wed, 15 Apr 2009 08:58:47 -0800

The frustrated postmodern alchemist in my really wants to seek for a way to exploit this urban legend... but something tells me that severely ripping off people who are super interested in making a nuclear bomb on the relative cheap and quiet is a pretty bad idea. (In other news I just discovered the Internet Movie Firearm Database, wtf).

By: quin

quin — Wed, 15 Apr 2009 09:01:51 -0800

I remember the first time I freebased Red Mercury; it was the best high I've ever had. Except for the parts where the walls were breathing and I was glued to the ceiling, and the singing faucet was a little weird as well, but it sure had a great voice and an amazing repertoire of show tunes to work from. Also there was the unfortunate come-down need to kill a bunch of people to prove I was indestructible and part of the incorruptible greater whole of gods infinite love, and then there was the building fire that I don't think I started. I'm pretty sure it was caused by the road flare I threw into that puddle of gasoline which I clearly had nothing to do with. And balloons shouldn't be that sexy. Red Mercury: Best. High. Ever.

By: eye of newt

eye of newt — Wed, 15 Apr 2009 09:34:40 -0800

Of course they are just telling you that the red mercury in the old Singer sewing machines is a hoax.

By: Talanvor

Talanvor — Wed, 15 Apr 2009 09:52:41 -0800

It's also dragon food in long drawn-out fantasy novels. Turtledove got to you too, huh?

By: Meatbomb

Meatbomb — Wed, 15 Apr 2009 09:57:17 -0800

If I could only convince the Saudis that my boogers contained red mercury... You heard it here first, world! Meatbomb's boogers are a rich source of red mercury!

By: OHenryPacey

OHenryPacey — Wed, 15 Apr 2009 10:03:36 -0800

"Every time one of you assholes thinks your single link funny website is a good post, I want you to look at this post. Every time one of you excellent people thinks your single sentence of snark is funny or is a good comment, I want you to think about this douchey comment." Every time one of you hipsters thinks your potentially thread hijacking metacomment is essential I want you to think about this awesome comment.

By: GuyZero

GuyZero — Wed, 15 Apr 2009 10:06:35 -0800

Turtledove got to you too, huh? Turtledove got me two books in and I realized that it was NEVER GOING TO END. So I stopped. But the idea of feeding dragons cinnabar was pretty cool.

By: kirkaracha

kirkaracha — Wed, 15 Apr 2009 10:23:14 -0800

Red mercury is all you need to achieve critical mass hysteria. You could also use Freddy Mercury.

By: Astro Zombie

Astro Zombie — Wed, 15 Apr 2009 10:44:01 -0800

Red Mercury was a great character in the original Watchmen comic book, but I think the actress who played her was too shallow to provide much more than eye candy on the screen.

By: nanojath

nanojath — Wed, 15 Apr 2009 11:21:39 -0800

By: vespabelle

vespabelle — Wed, 15 Apr 2009 12:10:45 -0800

My red mercury containing Singer 99K only cost me $12.50! I bought it for my daughter to use, but I might want to sell it to terrorists instead.

By: The Tensor

The Tensor — Wed, 15 Apr 2009 15:33:20 -0800

It's a shipwreck. It's a jar.

By: nat

nat — Wed, 15 Apr 2009 20:30:28 -0800

I checked. My old Singer does not contain any Freddy Mercury. Maybe I could build one from all the lint though.