nuts, gathering
April 15, 2009 8:29 PM Subscribe
Exploding Squirrels (but in a humane way), using the Rodenator Pro. In a related story, Rush Limbaugh learns a new word. Video.
Bill Murray in Caddyshack + Watership Down = This FPP
posted by not_on_display at 8:39 PM on April 15, 2009 [1 favorite]
posted by not_on_display at 8:39 PM on April 15, 2009 [1 favorite]
The company is based in Midvale, Idaho, and promises on its Web site that its product is effective against the "saber-toothed gopher."
All mammals are, under the right circumstances, loveable. I once saved the lives of a pair of pocket gophers who had been flooded out of their burrow after a massive downpour. They were on the lawn outside my office building, shivering violently and apparently close to dying of hypothermia. So I picked one up in each hand and wound up walking home with them that way, feeling them slowly revive during the ten-minute trip. Put them in a shoebox stuffed with cotton to recover. After half an hour or so they were scampering about and trying to escape, so I drove them back to the office and let them loose near their burrows.
I'd have a hard time bombing gophers after that.
posted by Creosote at 8:42 PM on April 15, 2009 [1 favorite]
All mammals are, under the right circumstances, loveable. I once saved the lives of a pair of pocket gophers who had been flooded out of their burrow after a massive downpour. They were on the lawn outside my office building, shivering violently and apparently close to dying of hypothermia. So I picked one up in each hand and wound up walking home with them that way, feeling them slowly revive during the ten-minute trip. Put them in a shoebox stuffed with cotton to recover. After half an hour or so they were scampering about and trying to escape, so I drove them back to the office and let them loose near their burrows.
I'd have a hard time bombing gophers after that.
posted by Creosote at 8:42 PM on April 15, 2009 [1 favorite]
Bombing them in their homes, then letting them bleed out or suffocate in the collapsed ruins of their dens is not what I'd call "humane".
posted by orthogonality at 8:57 PM on April 15, 2009 [5 favorites]
posted by orthogonality at 8:57 PM on April 15, 2009 [5 favorites]
Also, I'm not sure which surprises me less, that Rush Limbaugh loves the idea of blowing up squirrels, or that he's never seen the word arboretum.
posted by Caduceus at 9:04 PM on April 15, 2009
posted by Caduceus at 9:04 PM on April 15, 2009
My workplace had a brief problem with ground squirrels. They were considering a variety of measures, and then the fox who lives in the nearby nature preserve had kits. The squirrels are still there, but in fewer numbers, and in less visible places under trees and in brush.
I know that vixen importation may be controversial, so a municipality might also consider vacuuming them up. Perhaps not as gratifying to HAULIN' ASS GETTIN' PAID types, but it's an option.
I haven't read the Limbaugh article, but I'm going to guess the word is "humane".
posted by boo_radley at 9:06 PM on April 15, 2009
I know that vixen importation may be controversial, so a municipality might also consider vacuuming them up. Perhaps not as gratifying to HAULIN' ASS GETTIN' PAID types, but it's an option.
I haven't read the Limbaugh article, but I'm going to guess the word is "humane".
posted by boo_radley at 9:06 PM on April 15, 2009
SPOILERS, caduceus :(
posted by boo_radley at 9:07 PM on April 15, 2009
posted by boo_radley at 9:07 PM on April 15, 2009
I'm not sure there are any more humane alternatives. So far, all I could come up with was -
Drowning them by flooding the tunnels.
Filling the tunnels with cement.
Setting up mousetraps outside of their tunnels.
Poisoning them.
Releasing poisonous snakes into their burrows, then gorillas to eat the snakes who then freeze to death in the winter.
Molten lava.
Carbon Monoxide.
Carnivorous plants.
Some sort of autonomous laser system that zaps them when they come out.
Rabid Gophers (The rabies kills the gophers off later)
Little portcullis at the end of their holes so they are trapped and starve to death.
Blow Asbestos in to their holes so they get methilionoma and die.
Wait outside of their holes and once one comes outside, use ether to knock it out and then garrote it quietly.
Set off a smoke bomb so their smoke alarm goes off and then stomp on them when they run to safety.
I'm not sure any of these are more humane, but they might be more fun.
posted by Lord_Pall at 9:09 PM on April 15, 2009 [6 favorites]
Drowning them by flooding the tunnels.
Filling the tunnels with cement.
Setting up mousetraps outside of their tunnels.
Poisoning them.
Releasing poisonous snakes into their burrows, then gorillas to eat the snakes who then freeze to death in the winter.
Molten lava.
Carbon Monoxide.
Carnivorous plants.
Some sort of autonomous laser system that zaps them when they come out.
Rabid Gophers (The rabies kills the gophers off later)
Little portcullis at the end of their holes so they are trapped and starve to death.
Blow Asbestos in to their holes so they get methilionoma and die.
Wait outside of their holes and once one comes outside, use ether to knock it out and then garrote it quietly.
Set off a smoke bomb so their smoke alarm goes off and then stomp on them when they run to safety.
I'm not sure any of these are more humane, but they might be more fun.
posted by Lord_Pall at 9:09 PM on April 15, 2009 [6 favorites]
then the fox who lives in the nearby nature preserve had kits...
One of those articles quotes the director of the Parks Department as saying, “The coyotes just can’t keep up; there’s just so many [squirrels].” Maybe Spokane should fire its coyotes on staff, and hire foxes instead.
posted by LeLiLo at 9:18 PM on April 15, 2009
One of those articles quotes the director of the Parks Department as saying, “The coyotes just can’t keep up; there’s just so many [squirrels].” Maybe Spokane should fire its coyotes on staff, and hire foxes instead.
posted by LeLiLo at 9:18 PM on April 15, 2009
Foxes are closers.
posted by boo_radley at 9:20 PM on April 15, 2009 [2 favorites]
posted by boo_radley at 9:20 PM on April 15, 2009 [2 favorites]
Here's a video of the Rodenator in action.
+8 for the probe and tunnel insertion
+12 for explosions and dust
+7.5 for body posture that suggests farting to be cause explosions and dust
+5 for indiscriminate killing
+6 for loud noises in general
+3 for rugged outdoor activity requiring gloves, ear, and eye protection
+2 for buddy action, because a gopher den has two holes to fill
+10 for the "hey ya'll, watch this!" factor
-9 for lack of spinning blades and lasers
--------------------------------------------
= one hell of a manly tool!
posted by peeedro at 9:21 PM on April 15, 2009
+8 for the probe and tunnel insertion
+12 for explosions and dust
+7.5 for body posture that suggests farting to be cause explosions and dust
+5 for indiscriminate killing
+6 for loud noises in general
+3 for rugged outdoor activity requiring gloves, ear, and eye protection
+2 for buddy action, because a gopher den has two holes to fill
+10 for the "hey ya'll, watch this!" factor
-9 for lack of spinning blades and lasers
--------------------------------------------
= one hell of a manly tool!
posted by peeedro at 9:21 PM on April 15, 2009
Are humans more important than ground squirrels? Only to some humans.
posted by ricochet biscuit at 9:22 PM on April 15, 2009 [1 favorite]
posted by ricochet biscuit at 9:22 PM on April 15, 2009 [1 favorite]
Don't underestimate the viciousness of the little rascals.
posted by Sailormom at 9:44 PM on April 15, 2009
posted by Sailormom at 9:44 PM on April 15, 2009
I try not to get enraged about stories like this, but it's hard. Although, in the world of animals suffering at the expense of humans, the squirrels should consider themselves lucky.
posted by MaryDellamorte at 10:07 PM on April 15, 2009 [1 favorite]
posted by MaryDellamorte at 10:07 PM on April 15, 2009 [1 favorite]
So the ground squirrel population is expanding... either loss of predators or increase in food supply (or both).
Has the city considered enforcing littering laws, increasing trash removal frequencies, and hiring more workers (or encouraging more convicts) for garbage duty?
posted by porpoise at 10:26 PM on April 15, 2009
Has the city considered enforcing littering laws, increasing trash removal frequencies, and hiring more workers (or encouraging more convicts) for garbage duty?
posted by porpoise at 10:26 PM on April 15, 2009
Last year (or maybe the year before) someone set a massive grass fire near Calgary "by accident" with one of these.
posted by jeffmik at 10:50 PM on April 15, 2009
posted by jeffmik at 10:50 PM on April 15, 2009
-1 for the file photo of an... ahem... not-ground-squirrel
posted by klanawa at 12:38 AM on April 16, 2009
posted by klanawa at 12:38 AM on April 16, 2009
From the second link:
The Spokane Parks Department once lined burrows with sticks of Wrigley’s juicy fruit gum after hearing rumors that eating the gum would destroy the animals’ stomachs and kill them, Goodspeed said.
Well I guess we could ask a qualified biologist/veterinarian, but this rumor just sounds so darn plausible it has to be true. Yet another reason I love my hometown.
posted by nangua at 1:12 AM on April 16, 2009
The Spokane Parks Department once lined burrows with sticks of Wrigley’s juicy fruit gum after hearing rumors that eating the gum would destroy the animals’ stomachs and kill them, Goodspeed said.
Well I guess we could ask a qualified biologist/veterinarian, but this rumor just sounds so darn plausible it has to be true. Yet another reason I love my hometown.
posted by nangua at 1:12 AM on April 16, 2009
sorry if this offends the animal lovers, but guess what, there's a lot of plants on the endangered species list as well. thus, the entire concept of 'arboretum'. sorry if tasty tasty rare plants are so tempting to the little buggers, but the last time i checked ground squirrels weren't in short supply. it's sort of an omelet and eggs situation...
posted by sexyrobot at 1:41 AM on April 16, 2009
posted by sexyrobot at 1:41 AM on April 16, 2009
Bombing them in their homes, then letting them bleed out or suffocate in the collapsed ruins of their dens...
Can we have just one thread that isn't about US foreign policy?
posted by rokusan at 2:34 AM on April 16, 2009 [5 favorites]
Can we have just one thread that isn't about US foreign policy?
posted by rokusan at 2:34 AM on April 16, 2009 [5 favorites]
Has the city considered... hiring more workers (or encouraging more convicts) for garbage duty?
The convicts were all promoted to city council.
posted by rokusan at 2:35 AM on April 16, 2009
The convicts were all promoted to city council.
posted by rokusan at 2:35 AM on April 16, 2009
Sounds like the Spokane Parks and Recreation folks should have contacted their local Raptor Outreach group.
Like a fox, one good flying preditor and *poof*.
Seriously, we have an overpopulation of rabbits, and all erradication methods fail without preditor control.
posted by Muddler at 2:41 AM on April 16, 2009
Like a fox, one good flying preditor and *poof*.
Seriously, we have an overpopulation of rabbits, and all erradication methods fail without preditor control.
posted by Muddler at 2:41 AM on April 16, 2009
I was watching videos of these last night. Once you get moles, voles, etc., causing surprise holes in your lawn into which one of your feet can suddenly drop, they become a great deal less cuddly. Castor oil just makes them into Somebody Else's Problem.
I used to have a cat I could take down to various holes who would be encouraged to mass rodent slaughter by this prompting. I do not know how humane that is. Having this enormous furry creature sink its fangs into you, carry you around, and slowly bat you to death before pulling off your head doesn't sound too humane.
Supposedly, the Rodenator does not primarily kill by collapsed tunnels, wherein you slowly suffocate with the weight of the earth upon you. Nope, if you read the FAQ, "this mixture [of propane and oxygen] is then detonated by the operator, causing an instantaneous underground shock wave of concussive force that eliminates the pests and in some (species specific) cases collapses some of the existing tunnel structure thus preventing immediate reinfestation." So, this isn't dropping a house on them.
Most animals do not receive a humane death in the wild. There's a great deal of starvation, freezing to death, or being eaten alive out there. Death by shock wave should be relatively fast in comparison. Compared to about every other eradication method I've heard of, this is practically singing them to sleep in their beds. Or at least something involving compressed waves of air.
Also, their furry little bodies rot right into the ground. Cycle of life, baby!
posted by adipocere at 2:57 AM on April 16, 2009 [1 favorite]
I used to have a cat I could take down to various holes who would be encouraged to mass rodent slaughter by this prompting. I do not know how humane that is. Having this enormous furry creature sink its fangs into you, carry you around, and slowly bat you to death before pulling off your head doesn't sound too humane.
Supposedly, the Rodenator does not primarily kill by collapsed tunnels, wherein you slowly suffocate with the weight of the earth upon you. Nope, if you read the FAQ, "this mixture [of propane and oxygen] is then detonated by the operator, causing an instantaneous underground shock wave of concussive force that eliminates the pests and in some (species specific) cases collapses some of the existing tunnel structure thus preventing immediate reinfestation." So, this isn't dropping a house on them.
Most animals do not receive a humane death in the wild. There's a great deal of starvation, freezing to death, or being eaten alive out there. Death by shock wave should be relatively fast in comparison. Compared to about every other eradication method I've heard of, this is practically singing them to sleep in their beds. Or at least something involving compressed waves of air.
Also, their furry little bodies rot right into the ground. Cycle of life, baby!
posted by adipocere at 2:57 AM on April 16, 2009 [1 favorite]
If I was a squirrel, I'd much rather get blown up than eaten alive by some predator.
I'd also enjoy some juicy fruit gum.
posted by orme at 4:16 AM on April 16, 2009 [1 favorite]
I'd also enjoy some juicy fruit gum.
posted by orme at 4:16 AM on April 16, 2009 [1 favorite]
There is not really any such thing as humane killing.
posted by Henry C. Mabuse at 4:22 AM on April 16, 2009
posted by Henry C. Mabuse at 4:22 AM on April 16, 2009
What about dry ice? If you just throw chunks of dry ice down the holes before a rainstorm, would they cause enough C02 to be released to suffocate the ground squirrels? Not sure if this is safer than a rodentator, but it seems safer (to the operator, anyway).
posted by ShadowCrash at 5:56 AM on April 16, 2009
posted by ShadowCrash at 5:56 AM on April 16, 2009
I meant, not sure it's more humane, not more safe.
posted by ShadowCrash at 5:57 AM on April 16, 2009
posted by ShadowCrash at 5:57 AM on April 16, 2009
Damn I wish I had one of those, we are in a low coyote year here and that means more rats and gophers and now I have ground squirrels eating my fava bean plants.
posted by Iron Rat at 7:12 AM on April 16, 2009 [1 favorite]
posted by Iron Rat at 7:12 AM on April 16, 2009 [1 favorite]
I blew a squirrel, once. Nutty.
posted by It's Raining Florence Henderson at 7:33 AM on April 16, 2009 [1 favorite]
posted by It's Raining Florence Henderson at 7:33 AM on April 16, 2009 [1 favorite]
Sounds like the Spokane Parks and Recreation folks should have contacted their local Raptor Outreach group.
Like a fox, one good flying predator and *poof*.
The animal rights activists will no doubt object to evil, nasty raptors slaughtering the poor innocent furry cuddly-wuddlies, and insist that the raptors go on a vegan diet.
This of course, is what happens when you get a generation or two of people whose only real contact with nature is through Disney movies..
posted by happyroach at 9:24 AM on April 16, 2009
Like a fox, one good flying predator and *poof*.
The animal rights activists will no doubt object to evil, nasty raptors slaughtering the poor innocent furry cuddly-wuddlies, and insist that the raptors go on a vegan diet.
This of course, is what happens when you get a generation or two of people whose only real contact with nature is through Disney movies..
posted by happyroach at 9:24 AM on April 16, 2009
There is not really any such thing as humane killing.
bullshit.
posted by sexyrobot at 12:16 PM on April 16, 2009
bullshit.
posted by sexyrobot at 12:16 PM on April 16, 2009
"License to kill gophers by the government of the United Nations. Man, free to kill squirrels at will. To kill, you must know your enemy, and in this case my enemy is a varmint. And a varmint will never quit - ever. They're like the Viet Cong - Varmint Cong. So you have to fall back on superior intelligence and superior firepower. And that's all she wrote."
posted by RobotVoodooPower at 4:41 PM on April 16, 2009
posted by RobotVoodooPower at 4:41 PM on April 16, 2009
Round here, we call those woodchucks. A squirrel's a thing with a poofy tail.
posted by tehloki at 6:17 PM on April 16, 2009
posted by tehloki at 6:17 PM on April 16, 2009
« Older "...who knows what might come out of that" | For the lulz! Newer »
This thread has been archived and is closed to new comments
TRANSLATION: "wanna kill somebody? shoot them in the park. do it this week."
posted by sexyrobot at 8:35 PM on April 15, 2009 [4 favorites]