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A touch of Springer for the blue
April 23, 2009 6:03 AM   Subscribe

War of the Roses These are trashy, but fun, 3-8 minute radio segments in which suspected cheaters are tricked into revealing their dirty sinful business over the phone. Typically, the DJ posing as a local flower shop tells a suspect boyfriend he has won a free bouquet of roses; will he send the roses to his girlfriend or to the dreaded Other Woman? The girlfriend waits in silence to ambush him if he gives the wrong answer. Some are sad. Some are infuriating. Most, I'm ashamed to say, are pretty funny.
posted by dgaicun (91 comments total) 13 users marked this as a favorite

 
The Kane Show needs to learn how to normalize an mp3.
posted by graventy at 6:10 AM on April 23, 2009


Remember Rose Royce? 'Car Wash,' 'Water'? What ever happened to them?
posted by box at 6:13 AM on April 23, 2009


I'd find a video of these 2 DJs being punched in the face repeatedly to be much more amusing.
posted by the bricabrac man at 6:18 AM on April 23, 2009 [7 favorites]


How are these asshats at all funny?
posted by Guy_Inamonkeysuit at 6:20 AM on April 23, 2009


That's just mean. And they sound like typical commerical radio people, aka dickheads

Dunno about you, but I'm kinda sick of media people embarrassing unsuspecting members of the public for entertainment
posted by dydecker at 6:23 AM on April 23, 2009 [12 favorites]


The radio station in Hell plays nothing but morning show DJ's laughing uncontrollably at their own moronic antics.
posted by The Card Cheat at 6:23 AM on April 23, 2009 [18 favorites]


Oh, if only there were a hell.
posted by odinsdream at 6:24 AM on April 23, 2009


Morning zoo DJs are stupid and irritating, but I always find these clips funny. Thanks for the early morning schadenfreude.
posted by Optimus Chyme at 6:25 AM on April 23, 2009 [1 favorite]


Does anyone have a link to the relevant David Cross routine? The one about morning radio guys? "You're in the mad house with the 'gator and the loooonatick!" Sadly I cannot find it anywhere. :-( I think the title is Diarrhea Mustache.
posted by fleetmouse at 6:28 AM on April 23, 2009 [2 favorites]


Next time you bitch about NPR, consider the alternatives.
posted by Combustible Edison Lighthouse at 6:29 AM on April 23, 2009 [42 favorites]


Does anyone have a link to the relevant David Cross routine?

Pretty sure this is it.
posted by Optimus Chyme at 6:30 AM on April 23, 2009 [3 favorites]


ruining people's lives lol
posted by billysumday at 6:30 AM on April 23, 2009


I disabled my adblocking software for this?
posted by chillmost at 6:33 AM on April 23, 2009


All you really need is some nice music playing low. A red rose in a vase, a candle or two. A piece of raw liver. So much less complicated. Then again, some dipshit DJ somewhere would probably find a way to make a radio show out of that, too.
posted by metagnathous at 6:33 AM on April 23, 2009


box: "Rose Royce"

They became very popular in England and remain a marquee attraction there.
posted by Joe Beese at 6:35 AM on April 23, 2009


The radio station in Hell plays nothing but morning show DJ's laughing uncontrollably at their own moronic antics.

Actually the annoying DJ in Hell concept is surprisingly popular on Twilight Zone-style fantasy/horror/sci-fi shows. Jerry Stiller stared in one on Tales From The Darkside (which Ben Stiller did a parody of on the Ben Stiller Show). Night Gallery also had an unintentionally hilarious one called The Flip-Side of Satan.
posted by burnmp3s at 6:38 AM on April 23, 2009


"You're in the mad house with the 'gator and the loooonatick"

My boyfriend and I share a loathing for these types of shows. We have often bandied about the idea of putting a parody version together for our community radio station. We would appear as Porcini and the Pineapple. The only obstacle: we would actually have to do it.
posted by Miko at 6:39 AM on April 23, 2009


Listening to wacky morning DJs is actually only the second worst thing in the world. Having to get up at 4 am to be the wacky morning DJ every. single. day. is the worst thing.
posted by DU at 6:44 AM on April 23, 2009 [5 favorites]


What mysterious confluence has led to the homogenous morning DJ? Why do radio stations hire these sorts of people? Does anyone actually willingly listen to them!?!?
posted by LSK at 6:54 AM on April 23, 2009


Hey, that's great! I keep forgetting to give flowers. Could you write "To Dawn & Charlene, my beautiful wife and my lovely mistress: may your kindness and affection for each other remain unmatched except by my love and devotion to each of you and both of you. XXX OOO"

Fucking monogamy. Such a bunch of bullshit.
posted by seanmpuckett at 6:56 AM on April 23, 2009 [15 favorites]


What I don't get is how the schmucks think that the guy on the phone saying he's from a florist, who sounds just like a DJ, is actually a florist.
posted by piratebowling at 6:59 AM on April 23, 2009


ruining people's lives lol

If the girlfriend finds out that she's first in her boyfriend's heart, then she gets reassured, learns to be less jealous, and nobody's life is ruined. If the girlfriend voluntarily finds out she's being cheated on, then she gets to move on from a bad relationship, and the one whose life might be "ruined" is the cheater who did it to himself.

Of course, I could be misunderstanding the situation. I'm posing these hypothetical scenarios without having heard any of the clips, because as with other zany morning DJ shows I fear that the lives which are truly ruined are the listeners'.
posted by roystgnr at 7:00 AM on April 23, 2009 [4 favorites]


I hate the Morality Police whether they are politicians, DJs or just people on the street because inevitably they all turn out to be guilty of exactly what they persecute other people for.
posted by srboisvert at 7:00 AM on April 23, 2009 [1 favorite]


Also, Dan Savage claimed he did this first.
posted by piratebowling at 7:01 AM on April 23, 2009 [2 favorites]


ANDY SAVAGE! Ack! Sorry!
posted by piratebowling at 7:01 AM on April 23, 2009


Thanks, DU, for getting this in my head.

I am the morning DJ at WOLD
Playing all the hits for you wherever you may be
The bright Good Morning face who's heard but never seen
Even though I'm 45, I'm still going on 13

posted by Spatch at 7:02 AM on April 23, 2009 [1 favorite]


> Having to get up at 4 am to be the wacky morning DJ every. single. day. is the worst thing.

Having to be the morning DJ's studio intern is probably worse than that; all of the abuse and very little of the income.
posted by ardgedee at 7:02 AM on April 23, 2009 [1 favorite]


Gah, and I grew up in Seattle knowing the difference between those two guys, too. My face is red, and Dan, I'm sorry for mixing you up with Andy, that dude is kind of a douche.
posted by piratebowling at 7:02 AM on April 23, 2009 [1 favorite]


What mysterious confluence has led to the homogenous morning DJ?

Howard Stern + the types who are up for work that early (think Construction Worker Interested In Boob Jokes) = shitty morning DJ popularity.
posted by mannequito at 7:16 AM on April 23, 2009


This was the only station that would come in clearly on my old alarm clock radio.
I no longer have that radio.
posted by inigo2 at 7:23 AM on April 23, 2009 [1 favorite]


My NPR station is having their seasonal beg-fest. They should use these clips as they threaten to cut Morning Edition. They could probably cut the fundraiser from 2+ weeks to about 13 minutes.
posted by double block and bleed at 7:23 AM on April 23, 2009 [23 favorites]


Weenie and the Butt
posted by middleclasstool at 7:24 AM on April 23, 2009 [2 favorites]


learns to be less jealous

HA!
posted by inigo2 at 7:24 AM on April 23, 2009


I dunno. It seems like if you trust SOME RADIO DJS WHO MAKE PRANK CALLS more than you trust your boyfriend, you should probably forget about whether there's another woman and just leave the guy. I'm not usually the DTMFA type, but when you're that far from honest communication, what's the point?
posted by nebulawindphone at 7:32 AM on April 23, 2009


I just want to clarify briefly that I don't think monogamy as a lifestyle choice is inherently wrong or "bullshit." But I do think that, like many other 20th cen. societal norms often taken for granted, it is simply a choice; one that can be made between two consensual parties, but should be entered into with full view and understanding of the alternatives. That most can't conceive of a reality where such a choice is optional is deeply disappointing, and that a great deal of the literature of our era -- written, oral and filmic -- has the sad little chestnut of "you have to choose one or the other" deep at their narrative core is profoundly repugnant.

This probably isn't the post for this kind of discussion, but it's not even that the DJ is a total fuckhead that is so galling, it's that the entire premise is shortsighted and limiting. "No, Mr. DJ, actually I like both chocolate AND vanilla ice cream, and if I want a two scoop cone, I'm going to have one."
posted by seanmpuckett at 7:34 AM on April 23, 2009 [3 favorites]


The fact is, the vast majority of Heterosexuals aren't monogamous. They're serial monogamists, who lie to their partners.

They're people who want the advantages of multiple relationships, without all that pesky communication and honesty.
posted by markkraft at 7:37 AM on April 23, 2009 [2 favorites]


Construction Worker Interested In Boob Jokes

Of course, because only uneducated, blue-collar common folk support culture-destroying evil morning shows. Feel better about yourself now?
posted by stevil at 7:42 AM on April 23, 2009 [6 favorites]


They all sound fake and staged to me. I'll take Roy D. Mercer any day of the week.
posted by mattbucher at 7:46 AM on April 23, 2009


What assholes.... I hate to see that we are giving this play here on MetaFilter.
posted by HuronBob at 7:48 AM on April 23, 2009 [1 favorite]


Even assuming monogamy is a societal norm and not a biological inclination, it's hardly confined to the 20th century.
posted by DU at 7:53 AM on April 23, 2009


Howard Stern + the types who are up for work that early (think Construction Worker Interested In Boob Jokes) = shitty morning DJ popularity.

Vlad: "Slow mornink. Let us see what is new on Howard Stern show."
[turns on radio]
Caller: "Howard! Help! My dog took a shit on my face!"
Howard: "Whaaat?"
Caller: "Help! Ow!"
posted by Inspector.Gadget at 7:54 AM on April 23, 2009 [4 favorites]


> What mysterious confluence has led to the homogenous morning DJ? Why do radio stations hire these sorts of people? Does anyone actually willingly listen to them!?!?

Lots of people, sadly. Years ago, there was a Detroit morning show that had a running gag wherein they called a Chicago (because the Red Wings against the Black Hawks in the playoffs) restaurant with a foreign-sounding name and then ask for someone like "Mr. Belfourblows." The invariably heavily-accented restaurant employee's faltering attempts to pronounce the "name," along with the idiotic puns on the Black Hawks players' names, were the "jokes." At the time I was working at a summer job in a factory and every time this segment would come on, guys would come running from wherever they were to hear it, and bust a fucking gut laughing at it.
posted by you just lost the game at 8:03 AM on April 23, 2009 [1 favorite]


Remember Rose Royce? 'Car Wash,' 'Water'? What ever happened to them?

Apparently they're still around, but from their website it looks like minus most of the original members, including Rose Norwalt.
posted by blucevalo at 8:09 AM on April 23, 2009


The Card Cheat: "The radio station in Hell plays nothing but morning show DJ's laughing uncontrollably at their own moronic antics."


"YOU'RE ON WITH THE GATOR AND THE BEAAAAAAR!!!. TIME FOR OUR FRIDAY MORNING FART SONG!!!"

David Cross was so right about DJs. I'd love to break their heads open on a curb.
posted by KevinSkomsvold at 8:13 AM on April 23, 2009


My girlfriend and I both like to send flowers to anybody with whom we have shared a freaky three-way.

Some of you here already know that.
posted by Astro Zombie at 8:13 AM on April 23, 2009 [9 favorites]


it's that the entire premise is shortsighted and limiting

So does that make these cheating sad dudes visionaries?
posted by Kirklander at 8:13 AM on April 23, 2009


What a strange way to make a living! As an aside but I think closely enough linked - there is a Radio 4 program here in the UK that is becoming increasingly popular entitled 'Down the line' - its a pastiche of phone in radio and may play well across the atlantic and elsewhere though some of the material is quite UK-specific.
posted by numberstation at 8:15 AM on April 23, 2009


Interestingly enough, today is Shakespeare's putative birthday. Shakespeare wrote a series of history plays revolving around the original Wars of the Roses, a name which was later borrowed for the 1989 film The War of the Roses, which featured Sean Astin, who was also in 1987's White Water Summer with...

Kevin Bacon.
posted by Mr. Bad Example at 8:17 AM on April 23, 2009 [7 favorites]


I started to listen to one of the "pretty funny" links and then I realized if I wanted to listen to this kind of crap I would already be listening to this kind of crap.
posted by pointilist at 8:21 AM on April 23, 2009 [4 favorites]


This is why we need to outlaw monogamy. Would put an end to this sort of "entertainment."
posted by Eideteker at 8:21 AM on April 23, 2009


> Listening to wacky morning DJs is actually only the second worst thing in the world. Having to get up at 4 am to be the wacky morning DJ every. single. day. is the worst thing.

"Now the guy's got Mad Dog as a partner. Any jokes, he goes to Mad Dog. Trouble with the script? He can go to Mad Dog. But now the guy's gotta come up with the funny every morning no matter what. Business bad? Fuck you, make me laugh. Oh, your wife's sick? Fuck you, make me laugh. Your house got hit by lightning huh? Fuck you, make me laugh."
posted by The Card Cheat at 8:22 AM on April 23, 2009 [2 favorites]


These are almost definitely fake. I have an actor friend who makes these kinds of calls for a living, playing the jealous boyfriend or the cheating spouse that the DJ is "pranking."
posted by hermitosis at 8:22 AM on April 23, 2009 [3 favorites]


Just think: If we enact gay marriage, heterosexual relationships, and with them adulterers and terrible morning shows based on exposing them, will be a thing of the past.
posted by DU at 8:25 AM on April 23, 2009


They aren't fake... these things are legendary here in Detroit.

I hate Detroit radio. Thank god for NPR.
posted by fusinski at 8:26 AM on April 23, 2009


What's even better is that most of the wacky commercial radio morning DJs tend to be staunchly of the Beckian Republican persuasion, so in addition to boob jokes, sound effects, trite celebrity gossip, and mean spirited pranks, you also get a fair amount of right-wing propaganda and misinformation folded in. If light/radio waves could have canker sores, these people would be that.
posted by Burhanistan at 8:44 AM on April 23, 2009 [1 favorite]


Dingo and the Baby
posted by drjimmy11 at 8:53 AM on April 23, 2009 [4 favorites]


These are almost definitely fake. I have an actor friend who makes these kinds of calls for a living, playing the jealous boyfriend or the cheating spouse that the DJ is "pranking."
posted by hermitosis at 8:22 AM on April 23


nooooooooo (._.)
posted by Optimus Chyme at 8:54 AM on April 23, 2009


The Japanese have it right putting up screens to shield car crashes and victims from public view. Shadenfreude is addictive, and it's a short step from slowing down to gawk, to throwing paint cans from overpasses.
posted by BrotherCaine at 9:10 AM on April 23, 2009


yet one more reason to refuse to have anything to do with free giveaways.
posted by edgeways at 9:24 AM on April 23, 2009


Yea, my first thought would be that its a serial rapist calling, trying to get the address of a woman he'll be assured is alone.
posted by FuManchu at 9:33 AM on April 23, 2009


it's a short step from slowing down to gawk, to throwing paint cans from overpasses.

Statements like this usually serve only to make me afraid of the person making them.

Wasn't there (is there still?) a television show called "Cheaters" that specialized in stalking suspected unfaithful partners and confronting them on camera for the ensuing drama? It's not strictly a radio thing. Not that it, too, couldn't be scripted, as hermitosis suggests. Probably safer from potential lawsuits that way.
posted by Durn Bronzefist at 9:51 AM on April 23, 2009


What mysterious confluence has led to the homogenous morning DJ? Why do radio stations hire these sorts of people? Does anyone actually willingly listen to them!?!?

At some point during the Porcini and the Pineapple discussions I started to get interested in this question, too. It's definitely not due to Howard Stern, because it predates Howard Stern. Wikipedia confirms my memory that I read that New York's Z-100 "Z Morning Zoo" was the first really successful "zoo" format show, and it debuted a year or so before Stern got to New York and well before he syndicated his show. And Stern positioned himself then as different from and cooler than the "morning zoo" type. taking on the "shock jock" mantle in contrast to the doofier morning zoo humor.

I listened to him a lot back in the earlyish 80s - I really did, I thought he was funny, different, and groundbreaking and he had yet to develop some of the more egregiously sleazy elements of his comedy - and one of the shticks he did was to make fun of the "morning zoo" type DJ. If I recall, they even had pre-recorded bits where they pretended to be those sorts of DJs. So I submit that the zoo format today has merged quite a bit with some of the sorts of bits Stern popularized, but that initially they were separate strains. If any previous radio host contributed style and approach to the "Zoo" movement, I think it was more Don Imus' morning work on New York's WNBC in the very early 80s.

This blog entry gives a really good explanation of the rise of the zoo format:
In 1983, the Disc Jockey landscape would change forever out of New York City....From a bread and butter standpoint, one must remember that the record companies still viewed radio stations as a promotional vehicle for the record companies. New York desperately needed a pop station to fill the format.

With FM providing the better quality of music, FM was where the music would now be heading. There were plenty of FM Stations. ...WVNJ 100.3 focused on Easy Listening and Jazz for many years. With declining ratings, WVNJ was sold to new owners who decided on a format change. The idea was to become a "Hit Radio" station and start to fill the void left by WABC. On August 1, 1983, the sale of WVNJ became final. As part of the sale, WVNJ would move to a more powerful transmitter to support the format change. The night following the sale, the format change occurred. WVNJ became WHTZ or Z100.

However, more important than the format change would be the arrival of a new program director - one Michael Scott Shannon - aka Scott Shannon. Shannon would also become the morning Disc Jockey. Shannon's arrival would mark the beginning of his morning show - the Z-Morning Zoo. Many had considered Shannon the architect of the "Zoo format". This was a format he had architected while in Cleveland. The idea of this was full-scale morning entertainment while still playing plenty of music (as opposed to WNBC which had moved away from doing that). While they would play music, but also do skits and plenty of gags. It was described as a combination of "The Tonight Show", "Saturday Night Live", and "Talk Radio" format. Shannon was known as the "Head Zookeeper", but it involved so much more. Shannon would utilize a whole team. He would bring in a co-host Ross Brittian (a WABC alumni). He had a traffic reporter, a news anchor, producers, and comedians and would play a role on the show. Characters such as "Mr Leonard", "Captain Kevin", "Anita Bonita", and "Coach Mike" were an integral part of the Zoo's success. Shannon was hailed as a genius as Z100 instantly catapulted to the top of the ratings. The morning show would also fulfill its role as a springboard for the day's programming.

While there were variations of the zoo format, none had ever had the scale or marketing as Z100's Z-Morning Zoo. The amazing thing is that it worked. Z100 - combined with a big year in music proved to be a successful format. Targeting morning radio, now people had something else to listen to besides either bringing one's own music or listening to the same old stuff. It wasn't long before other "Zoo format" radio stations would evolve. In fact Ross Brittain would leave Z100 to go form his own "Zoo" in Philadelphia.

The zoo format put less dependency on the Disc Jockey fulfilling the role as teacher of the music and more dependency on the entertainment portion. Shannon was very successful because he was able to pull off both sides of the equation. However, it soon became clear that for one to be successful pulling off this format, one had to be the entertainer. This was not a role that could be filled by a teacher like Scott Muni or Dan Ingram. In the meantime, actors soon discovered this could be a way to find work. Jay Thomas was a "B List" actor who had found a home at WKTU in New York. He would flourish under this new format in radio and be one example of someone who would find great success.
Ultimately, I agree with this sentiment.
posted by Miko at 9:54 AM on April 23, 2009 [8 favorites]


Hate to break anyone's bubble here, but I have a good friend in Brooklyn who used to make money each morning by calling into these sorts of radio shows posing as the boyfriend. The station would send him character sketches of who he was supposed to be, what he was supposed to say, etc. And at the appropriate time, he would call in and pretend to be the cheating guy or the guy being cheated on. I think it paid around $50 a gig.
posted by Lutoslawski at 10:01 AM on April 23, 2009 [10 favorites]


These are fake.
posted by Zambrano at 10:14 AM on April 23, 2009


OP here: What's funny definitely isn't the DJ, but the drama and the callers and the sleaze. Yes, there be schadenfreude. (And I submit, if you don't find the "We caught you muthafucker!" girl in the last link funny, your heart is made of stone.)

It's entertaining because relationship drama is entertaining, which is why basically equivalent Askme relationship questions get more attention and comments than anything else over at Askme. The catch-a-cheater (and Springer-type) shows on TV are fun too, in small doses.

RE: fakeness, I just discovered a website that must have 200 more of these segments from the DC show. If this is a complete list, they appear to average about one segment every week. I'm not detecting any repeat voices, and the dialogue sounds natural to my ear. Not that stilted back and forth feel of a Mamet, Tarantino, or Kevin Smith movie. But in the past I have heard radio segments with callers that sound immediately fake.
posted by dgaicun at 10:14 AM on April 23, 2009


Wow. They have simplified the process. I used to get paid a couple of grand to find a woman with a boyfriend and get her to cheat with me, so they could prank her. In retrospect, those were both fantastic and indefensible years of my life.
posted by Astro Zombie at 10:15 AM on April 23, 2009 [5 favorites]


The sole value of this FPP lies in the David Cross link.

Miko, how do you manage to create a thoughtful, reflective treatise on any possible subject, no matter how shallow?
posted by foxy_hedgehog at 10:36 AM on April 23, 2009 [1 favorite]


Miko has some real talents for deepening and broadening a discussion, that's for sure. She deserves all the favorites I get for every one of my tossed-off one-liners.
posted by Astro Zombie at 10:54 AM on April 23, 2009 [1 favorite]


How dare these bloggers/citizens with cell phone cameras asshole DJ's ruin these poor police officer's/politician's/public figure's cheater's lives by making their actions public! Yes, he may have shot an unarmed man cheated on his girlfriend, but given his race, he probably did something to deserve it! monogamy is a bullshit outdated notion anyway! Who the hell even reads blogs listens to morning DJ's anyway?!?
posted by Uther Bentrazor at 11:15 AM on April 23, 2009


But I love favoriting your tossed-off one liners! They're the one-lineriest!
posted by Miko at 11:15 AM on April 23, 2009 [2 favorites]


I am totally favoriting that comment!
posted by Astro Zombie at 11:18 AM on April 23, 2009 [1 favorite]


The only time Family Guy has made me laugh uncontrollably for an extended period of time was their 'Dingo and the Baby' commercial radio scene. Spot on.
posted by spamguy at 11:32 AM on April 23, 2009


Wasn't there (is there still?) a television show called "Cheaters" that specialized in stalking suspected unfaithful partners and confronting them on camera for the ensuing drama?

Yes, and it's fun to watch occasionally because most of them take place in/around the DFW area. I frequently recognize locations. Anyway, I bring it up because if Cheaters is faked, it's very well done.
posted by owtytrof at 12:17 PM on April 23, 2009


I worked in both college and commercial radio in the 90's. The college station was just dreadful. Underfunded and under utilized. The commercial station was great, with cutting edge equipment, a giant transmitter, and a ton of listeners. I was a DJ on a morning show. Some of the skits were fake, some of them were real.

I've not listened yet, but based on the descriptions, they are quite likely fake. For no other reason than you couldn't trust the other person on the line to be quiet and not ruin it. But sometimes, our most outrageous calls were totally legit and real.

Many of our calls consisted of one of the DJs being on an office phone outside of the control booth and just changing their voice. Going from a very expensive microphone run through very expensive equipment in a soundproof room, to an office telephone played over a speaker, you can mask your voice quite easily. Also with digital recording workstations at our disposal, you could digitally mask your voice and actually carry on conversations with yourself live on air.

We never had situations where we paid someone to be a fake caller, but I was in a very small market. But at some point everyone's friends, family, and girlfriends had been on the air as "characters".

Being on the radio was the most fun I have had in my entire life. Being in a room with 1 or 2 other highly amped funny people in a very spontaneous environment was incredibly rewarding. Other times, being by myself in the control room, knowing I was solely responsible for the outcome of my shift was very gratifying. When things went well, they were great. And even when stuff bombed, hell, it beat working for a living. 90% of each broadcast was made up as we went along. The DJs were all regularly berated for varying from the computer-generated "playlist", but nothing ever came of it. We played what we wanted for the most part.

If I did not get married and have a family to support, I would probably still be doing it. Unless you are a premier DJ in a very large market, or syndicated widely, the pay is embarrassing. My first "real job" payed more than the station manager.

I remember once Howard Stern talking about how he was surprised there was so much competition for DJ jobs. The pay was terrible, and on the social ladder, radio DJ was only one tiny rung up from "circus clown".
posted by Ynoxas at 12:20 PM on April 23, 2009 [3 favorites]


Ha ha ha ha...

So, someone asks directly if this is a confidential conversation, and they say yes, even though they're broadcasting it on the air. Then, the person spills the beans, and...oh, I'm in tears laughing now...they let the person know they're on the phone with their girlfriend/wife/lover and the morning show of dickhead and asshat.

If statistics are relevant, 40-60% of the people they call will have had, at some point in their lives, an extramarital or extrarelationship affair. Chances are, they're going to succeed at some sort of cheating exposure.

Karma is a bitch.
posted by Chuffy at 12:40 PM on April 23, 2009


those last two were pretty funny and those NPR comments were pretty spot on. thanks for a couple fun seconds.

but listening to commercial just for that? no way.
posted by krautland at 1:11 PM on April 23, 2009


and on the social ladder, radio DJ was only one tiny rung up from "circus clown".

Up?
posted by phearlez at 1:16 PM on April 23, 2009 [1 favorite]


These are fake. You cannot put someone on the radio without telling them they are on the radio. Even if you record it and tell them after the fact. And these definitely aren't live, they would have run out of delay with all the cursing toward the end of the bit.

And as a second and more important point - these are not funny. If you want funny, watch Bob and Tom's radio show on I believe WGN. Their actual show is abysmal, but I crack up every time watching them all fake laugh at every single hack joke thrown out by the "crew" or the guest comedian. The best moment was watching one of the hosts (Bob? Tom?) laughing hysterically while continuing to make his tea - without spilling a drop.
posted by shinynewnick at 1:16 PM on April 23, 2009


These are almost definitely fake. I have an actor friend who makes these kinds of calls for a living, playing the jealous boyfriend or the cheating spouse that the DJ is "pranking."

Who's your friend's agent? I want this gig.
posted by Faint of Butt at 1:32 PM on April 23, 2009 [1 favorite]


These are fake. You cannot put someone on the radio without telling them they are on the radio. Even if you record it and tell them after the fact.

Are you sure? What about stuff like this then?

Or this:

The Naples News reports that lawyers for WBTT (the Beat) Fort Myers, Fla., have answered the listener lawsuit stemming from a June 12 prank phone call by the station's Bruce "Da Moose" Perry. Listener Adrienne Breidigan says a hoax call claiming she had an incurable sexually transmitted disease tricked her into disclosing private sexual information on-air. In court papers, the station's lawyers say Breidigan willingly consented to the broadcast and that the prank is protected by the First Amendment.

(via this)
posted by wildcrdj at 1:53 PM on April 23, 2009


(hmm I guess the last one comes down to whether she was aware or not, which was at issue, and the first is canadian --- but I'm still curious if you have any actual law you're referring to, it would seem to me to be protected speech)
posted by wildcrdj at 1:54 PM on April 23, 2009


DTMFA?
posted by Night_owl at 2:05 PM on April 23, 2009


One of these women should call one of the DJs at home, pretend to be a policeman and say, "Douche, I'm sorry, but I'm afraid both of your parents were killed in a car wreck". Then she should keep him on the phone for a good five minutes before saying "Hey, by the way, I'M JOKING!! Get it? Don't worry your parents are fine as far as I know. Also by the way, I'm recording this an putting it on my podcast. Man, you really do cry and blubber a lot. Tata!"

That is really shit humor, there.
posted by zardoz at 4:21 PM on April 23, 2009


I am absolutely sure these are fake.
posted by ElmerFishpaw at 4:22 PM on April 23, 2009


Wow, Lutoslawski, I wonder if we know the same person! Let's compare notes via memail!
posted by hermitosis at 5:52 PM on April 23, 2009


Hey, come to work at a real florist.

These women don't need a dj to catch their partners sending flowers to the "other woman" especially when Mr. Player buys girlfriend her flowers using a debit card that Wife shares.

Trust me, what ensues ain't hilarity.
posted by St. Alia of the Bunnies at 7:08 PM on April 23, 2009


the arrival of a new program director - one Michael Scott Shannon - aka Scott Shannon.

By the way, the same Scott Shannon who pioneered the "morning zoo" format is also the official "voice" of Sean Hannity's radio show (wiki).

What's even better is that most of the wacky commercial radio morning DJs tend to be staunchly of the Beckian Republican persuasion, so in addition to boob jokes, sound effects, trite celebrity gossip, and mean spirited pranks, you also get a fair amount of right-wing propaganda and misinformation folded in.

I don't think this is an accident. Clear Channel is a media company well-known for its right-wing bias. In one case, they had their "morning zoo" DJs incite attacks against bicyclists in three different cities with almost identical "bits." Clear Channel is mass-producing "morning zoo" morning drivetime radio shtick, and you can bet your bottom dollar that it's designed to push out a right-wing message, not a liberal one. I'm not saying every stupid thing a "morning zoo" DJ does must have some political interpretation, but these "morning zoo" shows must be invaluable if you want to push a political message to radio listeners who might otherwise see themselves as apolitical.
posted by jonp72 at 7:31 PM on April 23, 2009


Thanks for the flowers Astro Zombie. Next time, sign the fuckin' card. It's been driving me nuts.
posted by You Should See the Other Guy at 8:13 PM on April 23, 2009


One of my friends used to work at an upscale beach hotel in Santa Monica. As a part of her job, five days after a guest had visited she was required to call and ask about how he'd enjoyed his stay. Can you see where this is headed?

She'd often get on the phone with wives and girlfriends who were shocked to discover that their partner had not been at a business conference in Atlanta as they'd been told. Hilarity (to the tune of lawsuits and death threats from angry husbands) abounded, but try as she might my friend could not convince the hotel manager to discontinue the practice because it was company policy.
posted by Parasite Unseen at 8:59 PM on April 23, 2009 [2 favorites]


I'm not sure about the legality of going on the air unknowingly, but it is absolutely corporate policy across the board in radio that you must have consent. You definitely can't "prank call" anymore on any corporate owned radio (AKA all radio).
posted by shinynewnick at 9:30 PM on April 23, 2009


I heard something like this on the radio the other day (in my defense, the reception on my morning commute is shitty, and I'd forgotten my iPod at home). The man answered "correctly" and when the girlfriend got on the phone, the man was incensed that she was accusing him and publicly humiliating him, so he dumped her. Whether these are fake or not, that seems like a pretty realistic scenario to me. What self-respecting person would stick around after their partner accused them of infidelity on the radio? I can't imagine any way these could go well.
posted by desjardins at 1:33 PM on April 24, 2009 [2 favorites]


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