Canned Whole Chicken. Exactly what it says.
April 30, 2009 3:15 PM Subscribe
Canned Whole Chicken. Seriously, that's all it is. (photos are SFW, but not for the faint of stomach).
I think we just killed it.
posted by Horace Rumpole at 3:18 PM on April 30, 2009
posted by Horace Rumpole at 3:18 PM on April 30, 2009
I think you killed it. (Not responding for me.)
posted by Chocolate Pickle at 3:19 PM on April 30, 2009
posted by Chocolate Pickle at 3:19 PM on April 30, 2009
Hey, I linked to the Gizmodo post on this in one of my bajillion swine flu thread comments first!
Also, eeewwww!!
posted by GuyZero at 3:19 PM on April 30, 2009
Also, eeewwww!!
posted by GuyZero at 3:19 PM on April 30, 2009
Though the link in the OP is the canonical source as far as I can tell.
posted by GuyZero at 3:22 PM on April 30, 2009
posted by GuyZero at 3:22 PM on April 30, 2009
Mmm mmm mmmmmmm.
Crowning Chicken tonight!
posted by JBennett at 3:23 PM on April 30, 2009 [1 favorite]
Crowning Chicken tonight!
posted by JBennett at 3:23 PM on April 30, 2009 [1 favorite]
Oh, yea. It includes gelatinous briney goo, packing, uh, material/substance! Hooray!
posted by snsranch at 3:29 PM on April 30, 2009
posted by snsranch at 3:29 PM on April 30, 2009
More pics here. Not sure what the big deal is, though.
posted by dersins at 3:30 PM on April 30, 2009
posted by dersins at 3:30 PM on April 30, 2009
Do you also have Prince Albert in a can?
posted by Blazecock Pileon at 3:30 PM on April 30, 2009
posted by Blazecock Pileon at 3:30 PM on April 30, 2009
Whole? I don't see a head, beak, talons, or feathers.
Goddamn false advertising.
posted by mr_crash_davis mark II: Jazz Odyssey at 3:32 PM on April 30, 2009 [5 favorites]
Goddamn false advertising.
posted by mr_crash_davis mark II: Jazz Odyssey at 3:32 PM on April 30, 2009 [5 favorites]
In a word, jesuschristthat'sfuckingdisgusting.
Seriously.
You know... good post, though. I think it's something we should all know about.
posted by heyho at 3:32 PM on April 30, 2009
Seriously.
You know... good post, though. I think it's something we should all know about.
posted by heyho at 3:32 PM on April 30, 2009
Not to be confused with the exceptionally tasty Duck In A Can.
posted by mek at 3:34 PM on April 30, 2009 [1 favorite]
posted by mek at 3:34 PM on April 30, 2009 [1 favorite]
The internet goes in cycles. I was grossed about about this when it made its way around the web ten years ago.
posted by mullingitover at 3:36 PM on April 30, 2009
posted by mullingitover at 3:36 PM on April 30, 2009
Did they mean Previously Eaten Chicken in a Can? That is one seriously scrawny chicken.
posted by fire&wings at 3:37 PM on April 30, 2009
posted by fire&wings at 3:37 PM on April 30, 2009
There's a video of some guy eating one of these things over at The Onion's AV Club. The bit where he pours it out of the can and then tries to ladle it onto the plate is, eh, quite something.
posted by hydatius at 3:39 PM on April 30, 2009
posted by hydatius at 3:39 PM on April 30, 2009
Man eats 50-year-old canned whole chicken.
posted by eatyourcellphone at 3:43 PM on April 30, 2009 [9 favorites]
posted by eatyourcellphone at 3:43 PM on April 30, 2009 [9 favorites]
Hunger is the Best Sauce.
-Spanish proverb
posted by squalor at 3:43 PM on April 30, 2009 [1 favorite]
-Spanish proverb
posted by squalor at 3:43 PM on April 30, 2009 [1 favorite]
I had no idea there was a veritable market for Whole Chicken in a Can. There is Sweet Sue's and Chicken Ready canned chicken, if not more. And now I know.
posted by filthy light thief at 3:45 PM on April 30, 2009
posted by filthy light thief at 3:45 PM on April 30, 2009
Utterly fowl.
posted by 7segment at 3:46 PM on April 30, 2009 [3 favorites]
posted by 7segment at 3:46 PM on April 30, 2009 [3 favorites]
The picture of the cooked product -- Did someone start eating it before it even went into the can? Is that actually a chicken?
So many questions.
posted by waitangi at 3:49 PM on April 30, 2009
So many questions.
posted by waitangi at 3:49 PM on April 30, 2009
Who knew that the market intersection of black people and crazy white survivalists would prove to be such a fertile ground for product innovation?
posted by Sova at 3:51 PM on April 30, 2009 [1 favorite]
posted by Sova at 3:51 PM on April 30, 2009 [1 favorite]
Tell me you wouldn't eat this if you had to. I'm sure it tastes fine, and maybe some of you have been served this and you just didn't know it.
posted by not_on_display at 3:52 PM on April 30, 2009
posted by not_on_display at 3:52 PM on April 30, 2009
Who knew that the market intersection of black people and crazy white survivalists would prove to be such a fertile ground for product innovation?
what
posted by GuyZero at 3:53 PM on April 30, 2009 [8 favorites]
what
posted by GuyZero at 3:53 PM on April 30, 2009 [8 favorites]
what
what what?
Good for if Popeye's runs out and the coming apocalypse.
posted by Sova at 3:55 PM on April 30, 2009
what what?
Good for if Popeye's runs out and the coming apocalypse.
posted by Sova at 3:55 PM on April 30, 2009
It's as if Chicken of the Sea decided to market gefilte fish. Oh the horror.
posted by zerokey at 3:58 PM on April 30, 2009
posted by zerokey at 3:58 PM on April 30, 2009
If you jumped in a swimming pool full of that gelatinous stuff, what would happen? Would you sink, or could you swim in it?
The question is moot if you consider that you'd immediately choke on your own vomit.
posted by eyeballkid at 3:59 PM on April 30, 2009 [2 favorites]
The question is moot if you consider that you'd immediately choke on your own vomit.
posted by eyeballkid at 3:59 PM on April 30, 2009 [2 favorites]
Good for if Popeye's runs out and the coming apocalypse.
What what what!?
posted by loquacious at 4:00 PM on April 30, 2009
What what what!?
posted by loquacious at 4:00 PM on April 30, 2009
I bought a case of MRE's right before hurricane season from a place online last year that also stocks this, if that gives you any idea of the target market for this kinda thing. They also sell canned beef, pork, turkey and chicken "chunks" as well as canned hamburger and bacon (I think the canned bacon might have been featured here before.)
posted by Cyrano at 4:04 PM on April 30, 2009
posted by Cyrano at 4:04 PM on April 30, 2009
This thought has occurred to me before, but if extraterrestrials ever arrive on earth and happen to be chicken based life forms... humanity is totally screwed.
posted by datter at 4:04 PM on April 30, 2009 [2 favorites]
posted by datter at 4:04 PM on April 30, 2009 [2 favorites]
Good for if Popeye's runs out and the coming apocalypse.
What what what!?
Ok, nevermind. I was trying to mock two stereotypes for the price of one, but obviously it fell wide of the mark.
posted by Sova at 4:06 PM on April 30, 2009
What what what!?
Ok, nevermind. I was trying to mock two stereotypes for the price of one, but obviously it fell wide of the mark.
posted by Sova at 4:06 PM on April 30, 2009
It's pretty much the same as the precooked rotisserie chickens available in most supermarkets now, just less brown.
posted by Science! at 4:09 PM on April 30, 2009
posted by Science! at 4:09 PM on April 30, 2009
Actually, Sova, you're dead on. I'm pretty sure that if anyone were to "come apocalypse", it would look just like that. Talk about choking your chicken.
posted by zerokey at 4:10 PM on April 30, 2009
posted by zerokey at 4:10 PM on April 30, 2009
Good for if Popeye's runs out and the coming apocalypse.
What what what!?
Sova's mixing memes. Let's try to keep up here.
posted by Floydd at 4:10 PM on April 30, 2009
What what what!?
Sova's mixing memes. Let's try to keep up here.
posted by Floydd at 4:10 PM on April 30, 2009
I would eat that. If that doesn't look edible to you, maybe you've never been hungry enough. It can't be worse than potted meat product or vienna sausages. Or hash. Or even Dinty Moore, or pickled pigs feet or "thousand year eggs" or any of the other totally disgusting things people like to eat.
There's a lot of crazy stuff that comes in cans, which is cool if you're the sort that keeps an earthquake or other disaster kit. You can get canned bread, which usually comes in the form of a very heavy molasses and raisin brown bread that tastes and looks a bit like cardboard that's been soaked in molasses and left to partially dry. You have to open both ends of the can and push it out like cranberry jelly. It's very, very dense stuff and would be a good high calorie survival food.
I've also heard of canned cake, crackers, candy and some german company has a canned cheeseburger for backpackers for some reason.
But think about it. After a week or two of rice and beans or some other kind of gruel a canned chicken and a canned loaf of bread would be luxurious.
posted by loquacious at 4:12 PM on April 30, 2009 [3 favorites]
There's a lot of crazy stuff that comes in cans, which is cool if you're the sort that keeps an earthquake or other disaster kit. You can get canned bread, which usually comes in the form of a very heavy molasses and raisin brown bread that tastes and looks a bit like cardboard that's been soaked in molasses and left to partially dry. You have to open both ends of the can and push it out like cranberry jelly. It's very, very dense stuff and would be a good high calorie survival food.
I've also heard of canned cake, crackers, candy and some german company has a canned cheeseburger for backpackers for some reason.
But think about it. After a week or two of rice and beans or some other kind of gruel a canned chicken and a canned loaf of bread would be luxurious.
posted by loquacious at 4:12 PM on April 30, 2009 [3 favorites]
Well there's always this classic from 2006:
"A man celebrated his golden wedding anniversary by eating a 50-year-old tin of chicken."
posted by Marisa Stole the Precious Thing at 4:14 PM on April 30, 2009
"A man celebrated his golden wedding anniversary by eating a 50-year-old tin of chicken."
posted by Marisa Stole the Precious Thing at 4:14 PM on April 30, 2009
You know the worst thing about this? That was once a living creature (I think.)
Really, if we're going to kill animals to eat them let's at least make sure we do them some justice. I'm not a vegetarian or an activist by any means but it is seriously fucked up that an animal died to provide that pathetic, scrawny, disgusting, indigestible piece of jellified crap.
posted by fire&wings at 4:16 PM on April 30, 2009 [8 favorites]
Really, if we're going to kill animals to eat them let's at least make sure we do them some justice. I'm not a vegetarian or an activist by any means but it is seriously fucked up that an animal died to provide that pathetic, scrawny, disgusting, indigestible piece of jellified crap.
posted by fire&wings at 4:16 PM on April 30, 2009 [8 favorites]
I love canned bread. It's really good and you can't make it quite like that outside of a can.
posted by GuyZero at 4:19 PM on April 30, 2009
posted by GuyZero at 4:19 PM on April 30, 2009
I've eaten MREs for a week at a time, and having this would have been a blessing. And I'm a vegetarian now, but at the time I'd have been all over this. There's a reason why they call MREs "meals rejected by Ethiopeans."
posted by me & my monkey at 4:24 PM on April 30, 2009 [1 favorite]
posted by me & my monkey at 4:24 PM on April 30, 2009 [1 favorite]
When I lived briefly in Central LA around 2001 (near USC, but the neighborhood nearby quickly becomes Latino), I visited a rather dreary grocery store where they had these canned chickens. I never wanted to try one.
Canned salmon is worse. All the little bones. And the vertebrae. A dish which your mother loves (salmon with sliced red onions) and insists that you consume for the calcium. The bones are steam cooked and soft. They crunch like bits of chalk.
posted by bad grammar at 4:25 PM on April 30, 2009
Canned salmon is worse. All the little bones. And the vertebrae. A dish which your mother loves (salmon with sliced red onions) and insists that you consume for the calcium. The bones are steam cooked and soft. They crunch like bits of chalk.
posted by bad grammar at 4:25 PM on April 30, 2009
I think the best thing to do once you've got it out of the can, is to immediately get that godless horror back in the can (and make a resolution to eat it on your 50th wedding anniversary, of course).
posted by panboi at 4:25 PM on April 30, 2009
posted by panboi at 4:25 PM on April 30, 2009
Oh sure you are all grossed out now, but wait until a year from now when Swine Flu has killed 90% of the population and you are sick of eating leather shoes.
I'm stocking up. I just ordered a whole pallet of these!
posted by Big_B at 4:26 PM on April 30, 2009 [2 favorites]
I'm stocking up. I just ordered a whole pallet of these!
posted by Big_B at 4:26 PM on April 30, 2009 [2 favorites]
I love canned bread. It's really good and you can't make it quite like that outside of a can.
what
posted by Sova at 4:26 PM on April 30, 2009 [1 favorite]
what
posted by Sova at 4:26 PM on April 30, 2009 [1 favorite]
I think I have the perfect drink to go with this.
posted by Joey Michaels at 4:34 PM on April 30, 2009
posted by Joey Michaels at 4:34 PM on April 30, 2009
I love canned bread. It's really good and you can't make it quite like that outside of a can.
what
My mom used to buy canned brown bread to serve with something in particular- possibly pork 'n beans, which I hated. The bread was OK, though. It's more like a steamed pudding than baked bread, because they cook it in the can.
posted by oneirodynia at 4:40 PM on April 30, 2009
what
My mom used to buy canned brown bread to serve with something in particular- possibly pork 'n beans, which I hated. The bread was OK, though. It's more like a steamed pudding than baked bread, because they cook it in the can.
posted by oneirodynia at 4:40 PM on April 30, 2009
OK, I had to look up the canned bread, because I thought for sure you were just winding us up. But no.
posted by Marisa Stole the Precious Thing at 4:43 PM on April 30, 2009
posted by Marisa Stole the Precious Thing at 4:43 PM on April 30, 2009
Canned salmon is worse. All the little bones. And the vertebrae.
Yeah, it is a bit disconcerting, but cook that stuff up with some garlic, rice and roasted pine nuts and you're in for a fucking treat.
posted by Jimbob at 4:44 PM on April 30, 2009 [2 favorites]
Yeah, it is a bit disconcerting, but cook that stuff up with some garlic, rice and roasted pine nuts and you're in for a fucking treat.
posted by Jimbob at 4:44 PM on April 30, 2009 [2 favorites]
Apparently people buy six-packs of these! At least they're on offer at Amazon.
What's that meme again? I think I just threw up in my mouth a little.
Thanks for ruining my appetite...
posted by Hairy Lobster at 4:53 PM on April 30, 2009
What's that meme again? I think I just threw up in my mouth a little.
Thanks for ruining my appetite...
posted by Hairy Lobster at 4:53 PM on April 30, 2009
The chalky crushable bones in canned salmon are the best part! I thought everyone knew this.
But writing with glee about eating something's "chalky crushable bones" is kind of making me consider becoming a vegetarian.
posted by two or three cars parked under the stars at 4:54 PM on April 30, 2009
But writing with glee about eating something's "chalky crushable bones" is kind of making me consider becoming a vegetarian.
posted by two or three cars parked under the stars at 4:54 PM on April 30, 2009
Metafilter= Fark lite
posted by notmtwain at 5:01 PM on April 30, 2009 [1 favorite]
posted by notmtwain at 5:01 PM on April 30, 2009 [1 favorite]
I want to apologise for my initial comment in this thread. It obviously reads differently than how I meant it, but rather than excuse myself of responsibility, I'll take ownership of what I said. It was racist, and I'm sorry.
posted by Sova at 5:09 PM on April 30, 2009 [8 favorites]
posted by Sova at 5:09 PM on April 30, 2009 [8 favorites]
That's good as an example for hens everywhere. I can imagine a hen talking to the chicks: "See kids, that's what happens if you fail at the University of Poultry".
posted by qvantamon at 5:21 PM on April 30, 2009
posted by qvantamon at 5:21 PM on April 30, 2009
Not that gross; anyone who has made chicken soup knows that water with chicken mojo in it turns gelatinous when it cools down. I bet it would be pretty tasty if you doused it in sauce and threw it on a grill at high heat to get that nice crispy exterior.
posted by scose at 5:21 PM on April 30, 2009
posted by scose at 5:21 PM on April 30, 2009
I know, this being Metafilter, I'm supposed to be outraged or something, but other than the fact the pictures make it look like the can is giving birth to the chicken I really don't see what the big deal is. That gel is the same stuff that forms when chicken stew or broth gets cold.
It's just a chicken. In a can. At least it looks like what it is, which is more than you can say for a lot of canned food. Beef-a-roni is about a hundred times less appealing.
Hotdogs are basically ground up sphincters stuffed inside intestines, but a blog page about hot dogs would have most of the omnivores among us salivating.
"Now you take this home, throw it in a pot, add some broth, a potato. Baby, you've got a stew going."
posted by bondcliff at 5:22 PM on April 30, 2009 [2 favorites]
It's just a chicken. In a can. At least it looks like what it is, which is more than you can say for a lot of canned food. Beef-a-roni is about a hundred times less appealing.
Hotdogs are basically ground up sphincters stuffed inside intestines, but a blog page about hot dogs would have most of the omnivores among us salivating.
"Now you take this home, throw it in a pot, add some broth, a potato. Baby, you've got a stew going."
posted by bondcliff at 5:22 PM on April 30, 2009 [2 favorites]
While whole chicken in a can is not something I'd consider buying or eating (unless little-to-nothing else was available), I think it bears mentioning that the person who made this point-and-laugh blog post is extremely unimaginative in the kitchen. Probably a terrible cook. I mean, hey, it's still a chicken, and if you tried you could probably make something halfway decent out of it. If you cooked it right, added seasoning... you know, basic kitchen practice, you could wind up with something much better than this person did. I can't imagine anything easier than dumping this thing out of the can and boiling it while taking a few pictures of the process. Then you put it on the internet. Good show, man, very inspiring!
I'd have much preferred that he'd actually tried his best to make something you'd want to eat, thus triumphing over the crap-food supermarket culture that surrounds him. What he did, though, is much, much easier than that, and ultimately just one more cynical, depressing, easy laugh. In short: boring.
Ultimately, I'd have preferred he took his canned chicken down to his local homeless shelter and give it to some people who need it and would appreciate it. Pointing and laughing at food, no matter how undesirable it may seem to those who can afford to sneer at it, strikes me as extremely callous and stupid in a world where millions go without enough food every day.
posted by flapjax at midnite at 5:26 PM on April 30, 2009 [7 favorites]
I'd have much preferred that he'd actually tried his best to make something you'd want to eat, thus triumphing over the crap-food supermarket culture that surrounds him. What he did, though, is much, much easier than that, and ultimately just one more cynical, depressing, easy laugh. In short: boring.
Ultimately, I'd have preferred he took his canned chicken down to his local homeless shelter and give it to some people who need it and would appreciate it. Pointing and laughing at food, no matter how undesirable it may seem to those who can afford to sneer at it, strikes me as extremely callous and stupid in a world where millions go without enough food every day.
posted by flapjax at midnite at 5:26 PM on April 30, 2009 [7 favorites]
Oh my, I think we did kill it. But since I didn't get to see it, I'm sure it was a mercy killing.
Not having seen it; yeah, in a bind, I would probably eat it. I've been broke and hungry enough to eat dog food before, and it's gotta be better than that, no matter how disgusting it looks.
Anyway, we eat a lot of gross looking things. I was reminded of this at the height of the bacon craze - there were images of bacon everywhere, and I thought to myself on more than one occasion, that if I had never eaten bacon before and had only the images to go by, I would probably think it was disgusting and never eat it.
posted by louche mustachio at 5:26 PM on April 30, 2009
Not having seen it; yeah, in a bind, I would probably eat it. I've been broke and hungry enough to eat dog food before, and it's gotta be better than that, no matter how disgusting it looks.
Anyway, we eat a lot of gross looking things. I was reminded of this at the height of the bacon craze - there were images of bacon everywhere, and I thought to myself on more than one occasion, that if I had never eaten bacon before and had only the images to go by, I would probably think it was disgusting and never eat it.
posted by louche mustachio at 5:26 PM on April 30, 2009
The image of the chicken coming out of the bottom of the can reminded me of childbirth. Or that weird scene in that movie "The Manitou".
posted by mnb64 at 5:36 PM on April 30, 2009
posted by mnb64 at 5:36 PM on April 30, 2009
No way am I clicking on that link.
posted by humannaire at 5:47 PM on April 30, 2009 [1 favorite]
posted by humannaire at 5:47 PM on April 30, 2009 [1 favorite]
Going by the comments, I expected that to be much worse than it was. I would have few qualms about eating that. Does anyone else remember the MASH episode where Mjr. Winchester has a care package sent to him that includes a canned whole chicken?
posted by sevenyearlurk at 5:47 PM on April 30, 2009
posted by sevenyearlurk at 5:47 PM on April 30, 2009
I'd hit it. I mean eat it. Depending on how horny I was. I mean hungry.
posted by unSane at 5:47 PM on April 30, 2009 [2 favorites]
posted by unSane at 5:47 PM on April 30, 2009 [2 favorites]
I have one of these in my cupboard right now. My mother, child of the Depression, always said you should have one in the back of the cupboard and so I do. She bought it for me whan I got my first ever apartment. She said in a pinch, if someone dropped by (presumably not someone you want to drop by again) it could be turned into a not bad chicken salad. I've never opened it, though. It's getting pretty old; actually, now that I think about it, that chicken in a can has moved all over the US with me for a long, long time. But, you know, it's there. In case of famine or unwelcome guests.
posted by mygothlaundry at 6:00 PM on April 30, 2009 [6 favorites]
posted by mygothlaundry at 6:00 PM on April 30, 2009 [6 favorites]
I think it bears mentioning that the person who made this point-and-laugh blog post is extremely unimaginative in the kitchen.
They were just following the instructions on the can.
You could probably make a pretty good soup with this. Having the bones and all means that the broth will have a nice texture and consistency.
But I don't think it will ever bake up very well. First of all, it's already cooked. Second of all, there's just too much moisture for the skin to ever get brown and crisp, which is the entire point of baked chicken, right?
posted by mr_roboto at 6:06 PM on April 30, 2009
They were just following the instructions on the can.
You could probably make a pretty good soup with this. Having the bones and all means that the broth will have a nice texture and consistency.
But I don't think it will ever bake up very well. First of all, it's already cooked. Second of all, there's just too much moisture for the skin to ever get brown and crisp, which is the entire point of baked chicken, right?
posted by mr_roboto at 6:06 PM on April 30, 2009
This photo of the re-cooked chicken filled me with particular dismay: it looks exactly like Ötzi.
posted by pseudostrabismus at 6:24 PM on April 30, 2009 [1 favorite]
posted by pseudostrabismus at 6:24 PM on April 30, 2009 [1 favorite]
Pointing and laughing at food, no matter how undesirable it may seem to those who can afford to sneer at it, strikes me as extremely callous and stupid in a world where millions go without enough food every day.
I agree! By extenstion, having these elitist "restaurants" (from the French, figures) where chefs waste valuable time and money accentuating food with things that don't add to the nutritional or raw caloric content, is really just a bunch of elitist snobbery. I know I eat three squares of powerbar and a vitamin supplement every day and donate the rest of my food budget to soup kitchens, as I'm sure you do.
Or, perhaps it's okay to judge some food better than other food based on taste and aesthetics even though not everyone in the world has the opportunities we do, and that doesn't make us "callous" or "stupid".
posted by Riki tiki at 6:27 PM on April 30, 2009 [2 favorites]
I agree! By extenstion, having these elitist "restaurants" (from the French, figures) where chefs waste valuable time and money accentuating food with things that don't add to the nutritional or raw caloric content, is really just a bunch of elitist snobbery. I know I eat three squares of powerbar and a vitamin supplement every day and donate the rest of my food budget to soup kitchens, as I'm sure you do.
Or, perhaps it's okay to judge some food better than other food based on taste and aesthetics even though not everyone in the world has the opportunities we do, and that doesn't make us "callous" or "stupid".
posted by Riki tiki at 6:27 PM on April 30, 2009 [2 favorites]
...perhaps it's okay to judge some food better than other food based on taste and aesthetics even though not everyone in the world has the opportunities we do, and that doesn't make us "callous" or "stupid".
What you mean "us", kemosabe?
posted by flapjax at midnite at 6:40 PM on April 30, 2009
What you mean "us", kemosabe?
posted by flapjax at midnite at 6:40 PM on April 30, 2009
They were just following the instructions on the can.
Like I said, very unimaginative.
posted by flapjax at midnite at 6:43 PM on April 30, 2009
Like I said, very unimaginative.
posted by flapjax at midnite at 6:43 PM on April 30, 2009
Wow; there are (apparent) adults who know how to use a computer and type English sentences who have never had (or even heard of) brown bread. That is, the type that comes in a can.
You really do learn something every day.
posted by yhbc at 6:48 PM on April 30, 2009 [1 favorite]
You really do learn something every day.
posted by yhbc at 6:48 PM on April 30, 2009 [1 favorite]
Wow; there are (apparent) adults who know how to use a computer and type English sentences who have never had (or even heard of) brown bread. That is, the type that comes in a can.
I swear, it was the first time I ever heard of it. Is this a regional thing? I've never seen it on the shelves.
posted by Marisa Stole the Precious Thing at 7:31 PM on April 30, 2009
I swear, it was the first time I ever heard of it. Is this a regional thing? I've never seen it on the shelves.
posted by Marisa Stole the Precious Thing at 7:31 PM on April 30, 2009
At the risk of grossing people out I've ate many a canned chicken; Mostly because I've canned many a chicken (I remove the breast bones because I'm using glass jars but otherwise the same). I've never tried roasting them after canning though. Instead they are used anywhere you'd use leftovers: chicken salad, meat pies, chili, soup. Really it's not much different than freezing except canned chicken lasts longer and doesn't require freezer space.
"Canned salmon is worse. All the little bones. And the vertebrae."
I also can Salmon. They can so easy, just clean the fish, remove the head, then cut steaks (complete with skin and bones) so you can fit four stacked in a wide mouth pint. I know there is an askme out there about this but I don't find the bones offensive.
posted by Mitheral at 7:33 PM on April 30, 2009 [2 favorites]
"Canned salmon is worse. All the little bones. And the vertebrae."
I also can Salmon. They can so easy, just clean the fish, remove the head, then cut steaks (complete with skin and bones) so you can fit four stacked in a wide mouth pint. I know there is an askme out there about this but I don't find the bones offensive.
posted by Mitheral at 7:33 PM on April 30, 2009 [2 favorites]
Much as I hate to admit it, those 'whats' cracked me up.
posted by digsrus at 7:41 PM on April 30, 2009
posted by digsrus at 7:41 PM on April 30, 2009
I've had the canned bread; it was okay. Nice with real butter.
posted by NiteMayr at 8:12 PM on April 30, 2009
posted by NiteMayr at 8:12 PM on April 30, 2009
You know, I feel that I'm a pretty well traveled sort of guy. I also feel like I would eat anything at least once within reason and I take pride in looking out for unusual items. I've had maggots in Mexico (as well as ants, grubs, caterpillars and bees). I've had a dog in China. I've had bubble and squeak and blood sausage in Britain. I've killed, skinned, and cooked my own possum, coon, nutria, squirel, turtle, armadillo, and pidgeon. I've eaten potted meat, deviled ham, canned chicken (in China no less), and canned poke salat. I've eaten the eyball of a roast goat in Syria for christ's sake.
I have never heard of canned bread.
posted by Pollomacho at 8:17 PM on April 30, 2009 [4 favorites]
I have never heard of canned bread.
posted by Pollomacho at 8:17 PM on April 30, 2009 [4 favorites]
Despite the evidence profferred in this thread, I refuse to believe in canned bread. I would have an easier time believing that Pope Guilty is actually Pope Benedict XVI and Marisa is really Santa Claus.
Anyway, according to Ask Metafilter, this figment of the imagination is confined to some parts of New England and California.
posted by nooneyouknow at 8:30 PM on April 30, 2009
Anyway, according to Ask Metafilter, this figment of the imagination is confined to some parts of New England and California.
posted by nooneyouknow at 8:30 PM on April 30, 2009
I worked at a remote field camp once that had canned chicken. It was extremely bad because the texture is weird, one guy described it as resembling snot and he was right. Even field crews wouldn't eat it and they'll usually eat anything at all.
posted by fshgrl at 8:34 PM on April 30, 2009
posted by fshgrl at 8:34 PM on April 30, 2009
...and canned poke salat.
Gator got yuh granny.
Chomp. Chomp chomp.
posted by flapjax at midnite at 8:49 PM on April 30, 2009 [2 favorites]
Gator got yuh granny.
Chomp. Chomp chomp.
posted by flapjax at midnite at 8:49 PM on April 30, 2009 [2 favorites]
This thought has occurred to me before, but if extraterrestrials ever arrive on earth and happen to be chicken based life forms... humanity is totally screwed.
that, and we'll never hear surf music again
posted by pyramid termite at 8:58 PM on April 30, 2009
that, and we'll never hear surf music again
posted by pyramid termite at 8:58 PM on April 30, 2009
Shoot. I'd eat whole-chicken-in-a-can before I'd eat vienna sausages any day!
posted by PuppyCat at 9:00 PM on April 30, 2009
posted by PuppyCat at 9:00 PM on April 30, 2009
Yep. This was well and truly gross. But yeah, I suppose if it were the only thing around and I was starving, I'd still bring myself to eat it. It's the abundance of choice that I, a well-to-do westerner, has for my menu that primarily makes this something to avoid. Looks are a close second.
posted by Effigy2000 at 9:00 PM on April 30, 2009
posted by Effigy2000 at 9:00 PM on April 30, 2009
Now see, if this thing, this Whole Chicken in a Can was a Whole Chicken in a Can wrapped in bacon, people here'd be jumping on their skateboards or trying to start their cars,or running to catch the bus etc...so they could get down to the Shop Rite or the Piggley Wiggly or whatever the heck to demand, demand one of these bad boys (wrapped in bacon) and that it become as readily available as salami. But instead, because there is no bacon involved what do we get?
That's right. We get a whole lot of pointing and laughing (at food...food!!) and neh neh neh-this and eww ewww eww-that and just a truckload of generally ungrateful snobby chickensnark. That's right, high and mighty snob chickensnark.
Enough already, some of us don't need bacon on every little thing they eat.or they go crying to momma. Really, if you must engage in snobby chickensnark do me a favor and take it to MeTaTalk.
posted by Skygazer at 9:02 PM on April 30, 2009
That's right. We get a whole lot of pointing and laughing (at food...food!!) and neh neh neh-this and eww ewww eww-that and just a truckload of generally ungrateful snobby chickensnark. That's right, high and mighty snob chickensnark.
Enough already, some of us don't need bacon on every little thing they eat.or they go crying to momma. Really, if you must engage in snobby chickensnark do me a favor and take it to MeTaTalk.
posted by Skygazer at 9:02 PM on April 30, 2009
Better than canned chicken is the can of USDA commodity pork in a can. We got a few cans from an apartment we cleaned out. Even people who depend on food banks didn't want to eat pork from a plain silver can with a silhouette of a pig on it. It was gross looking, but actually made a quite nice green chile stew.
(and there's a whole flickr group devoted to canned meat.
posted by vespabelle at 9:02 PM on April 30, 2009 [1 favorite]
(and there's a whole flickr group devoted to canned meat.
posted by vespabelle at 9:02 PM on April 30, 2009 [1 favorite]
Better than canned chicken is the can of USDA commodity pork in a can. We got a few cans from an apartment we cleaned out. Even people who depend on food banks didn't want to eat pork from a plain silver can with a silhouette of a pig on it.
I love that they went the extra mile and added "WITH JUICES".
posted by Marisa Stole the Precious Thing at 9:15 PM on April 30, 2009 [1 favorite]
I love that they went the extra mile and added "WITH JUICES".
posted by Marisa Stole the Precious Thing at 9:15 PM on April 30, 2009 [1 favorite]
MStPT: It's a New England thing - when we moved to CT, one of our neighbors packed us a welcome wagon box with goodies. The Brown Bread was the most perplexing. I think Mom spooned it out of the can (so it came out something like stuffing.) This is a faux pas.
I'm pretty sure that some of the labels actually read "New England Brown Bread".
For the record, it is served can-shaped, on its side, cut into round slices. As loq points out, the can is opened top-and-bottom and the bread is pushed out. The "canned-ness" is essential to the product - this epicurious recipe suggests cooking it in a coffee can.
posted by swell at 9:41 PM on April 30, 2009 [2 favorites]
I'm pretty sure that some of the labels actually read "New England Brown Bread".
For the record, it is served can-shaped, on its side, cut into round slices. As loq points out, the can is opened top-and-bottom and the bread is pushed out. The "canned-ness" is essential to the product - this epicurious recipe suggests cooking it in a coffee can.
posted by swell at 9:41 PM on April 30, 2009 [2 favorites]
I never saw bread in a can until I moved to Chicago.
I've thus far managed to avoid a whole chicken in a can and frankly I'd like to keep that little streak going. It's nice to have goals.
posted by sugarfish at 9:55 PM on April 30, 2009
I've thus far managed to avoid a whole chicken in a can and frankly I'd like to keep that little streak going. It's nice to have goals.
posted by sugarfish at 9:55 PM on April 30, 2009
this epicurious recipe suggests cooking it in a coffee can.
With apple butter. Make the skylab bread with apple butter or all your science is for naught!
posted by kid ichorous at 10:31 PM on April 30, 2009
With apple butter. Make the skylab bread with apple butter or all your science is for naught!
posted by kid ichorous at 10:31 PM on April 30, 2009
I haz can chicken?
posted by xiaoyi at 2:22 AM on May 1, 2009 [3 favorites]
posted by xiaoyi at 2:22 AM on May 1, 2009 [3 favorites]
I'm guessing you all have never been to a grocery store in England. Anything you can eat the English have it in a can. I'm guessing it is so they can have it with an IPA when they are in the colonies.
posted by srboisvert at 3:14 AM on May 1, 2009
posted by srboisvert at 3:14 AM on May 1, 2009
The good thing about this is that the next time I feel like I really should vomit up the contents of my stomach, I'll be able to recall those pictures. I'll be amazed if I don't actually turn inside-out from retching.
posted by Ritchie at 3:48 AM on May 1, 2009
posted by Ritchie at 3:48 AM on May 1, 2009
The injustice he did to the chicken makes me want to get my own blog and actually try to cook it properly. Sure, he technically followed the directions and roasted it at 475 for the desired time, but that's about it. The gelatinous fat in the broth was caused by the author refrigerating it beforehand (not sure if you're suppose to or not). No use of spices, herbs, stuffing, aromatics, nothing. By the looks of it, he even cooked it upside down.
I'm not saying I'd prefer this over a nice fresh chicken, but I wouldn't rule out throwing a few of these in my basement for emergencies (assuming I had a basement or emergency supplies).
posted by ShadowCrash at 5:43 AM on May 1, 2009
I'm not saying I'd prefer this over a nice fresh chicken, but I wouldn't rule out throwing a few of these in my basement for emergencies (assuming I had a basement or emergency supplies).
posted by ShadowCrash at 5:43 AM on May 1, 2009
Brown Bread (aka "bread in a can") is indeed a New England thing. My (RI native and brown bread fanatic) wife was ecstatic when Alton Brown did a Good Eats on molasses and included it. He even made it in a can, which is truly the only way to make it.
I (MA native) had less of a childhood relationship with it, and so am not quite as fanatic about it, which is odd, given that it is sometimes referred to as "Boston Brown Bread". But I do like it. It's quite nice with franks and beans, among other things.
And yes, you are supposed to serve it like a log, right from the can, or sliced into rounds.
posted by tocts at 6:46 AM on May 1, 2009
I (MA native) had less of a childhood relationship with it, and so am not quite as fanatic about it, which is odd, given that it is sometimes referred to as "Boston Brown Bread". But I do like it. It's quite nice with franks and beans, among other things.
And yes, you are supposed to serve it like a log, right from the can, or sliced into rounds.
posted by tocts at 6:46 AM on May 1, 2009
OMG YES! I have a whole story from my college days involving "whole fried chicken in a can" and no one believes me. Who's laughing now???
(The smell of sweet vindication can almost, but not quite, erase the memory of the smell of whole fried chicken in a can that had gone off from sitting in a sunny window for a year. Almost.)
posted by JoanArkham at 7:01 AM on May 1, 2009 [1 favorite]
(The smell of sweet vindication can almost, but not quite, erase the memory of the smell of whole fried chicken in a can that had gone off from sitting in a sunny window for a year. Almost.)
posted by JoanArkham at 7:01 AM on May 1, 2009 [1 favorite]
Not sure what the big deal is, though.
A preferred user posted it. So it won't get deleted.
posted by Zambrano at 8:39 AM on May 1, 2009
A preferred user posted it. So it won't get deleted.
posted by Zambrano at 8:39 AM on May 1, 2009
The injustice he did to the chicken
the chicken's been killed and shoved in a can - anything that happens after that is just concurrent sentencing
posted by pyramid termite at 10:01 AM on May 1, 2009
the chicken's been killed and shoved in a can - anything that happens after that is just concurrent sentencing
posted by pyramid termite at 10:01 AM on May 1, 2009
A preferred user posted it. So it won't get deleted.
Actually, Zambrano, we're all preferred posters. All of us except you, of course. It is true that if you had posted this chicken-in-a-can link, it would've been deleted before you could say... "chicken-in-can!"
posted by flapjax at midnite at 10:31 AM on May 1, 2009
Actually, Zambrano, we're all preferred posters. All of us except you, of course. It is true that if you had posted this chicken-in-a-can link, it would've been deleted before you could say... "chicken-in-can!"
posted by flapjax at midnite at 10:31 AM on May 1, 2009
You wouldn't even have had time for the "a".
posted by flapjax at midnite at 10:33 AM on May 1, 2009
posted by flapjax at midnite at 10:33 AM on May 1, 2009
the chicken's been killed and shoved in a can - anything that happens after that is just concurrent sentencing
I seem to recall a link on MeFi to a photo set of a man having sex with a chicken carcass. I will not do a search for that link, but I'm pretty sure that not anything he did would count that way.
posted by Pollomacho at 10:45 AM on May 1, 2009
I seem to recall a link on MeFi to a photo set of a man having sex with a chicken carcass. I will not do a search for that link, but I'm pretty sure that not anything he did would count that way.
posted by Pollomacho at 10:45 AM on May 1, 2009
I will not do a search for that link
If you looked closely enough, you might find it in this very thread!
Also, it's vaguely discomfiting to have someone named "Pollo macho" talk about a man having sex with a chicken.
posted by dersins at 10:50 AM on May 1, 2009
If you looked closely enough, you might find it in this very thread!
Also, it's vaguely discomfiting to have someone named "Pollo macho" talk about a man having sex with a chicken.
posted by dersins at 10:50 AM on May 1, 2009
How do I become a Prefered User? Do I need to get three letters of recommendation or something? If it helps, I'm also a member of the Metafilter Thought Police. Does that give me an in?
posted by Marisa Stole the Precious Thing at 12:34 PM on May 1, 2009
posted by Marisa Stole the Precious Thing at 12:34 PM on May 1, 2009
Hahaha, MetaFilter Thought Police. That's a good one! HahahahaZZZZAAAP ahem, now of course if jessamyn wants me to bring her coffee in bed while I check the flag queue for herZZZAAAAPPPP I mean take her garbage to the dump and wash and wax her legsZAAAAAP carZZZZAAAAPPPPP Yahoo-bike, I'd be more than happyZAAAAP just plain delighted.
posted by not_on_display at 1:58 PM on May 1, 2009
posted by not_on_display at 1:58 PM on May 1, 2009
I'm a confirmed omnivore with a love of flesh but that just grossed me out, ugh. I think I'll have an apple the next time I eat.
posted by Talanvor at 12:46 AM on May 2, 2009
posted by Talanvor at 12:46 AM on May 2, 2009
.....pardon? also, why does the can look so tiny and the chicken look enormous? and that picture of the kid with the chicken is creeping me out...WHAT IS WRONG WITH THE WORLD?!
posted by joni. at 8:50 AM on May 2, 2009
posted by joni. at 8:50 AM on May 2, 2009
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posted by Lacking Subtlety at 3:17 PM on April 30, 2009