Comments on: iSnort

iSnort

mattoxic — Thu, 30 Apr 2009 22:27:44 -0800

iSnort - that is all

By: ZaneJ.

ZaneJ. — Thu, 30 Apr 2009 22:40:32 -0800

When I watch that I for some reason have Elliot Smith playing in my head...

By: MaryDellamorte

MaryDellamorte — Thu, 30 Apr 2009 22:47:45 -0800

No one makes those stupid sounds when snorting coke, come on now.

By: wolfewarrior

wolfewarrior — Thu, 30 Apr 2009 22:54:03 -0800

Followed in a couple hours by the iComedown.

By: oneironaut

oneironaut — Thu, 30 Apr 2009 22:56:54 -0800

Hours?

By: quadog

quadog — Thu, 30 Apr 2009 22:58:07 -0800

This will pair nicely with my new app - iHooker'sAss.

By: Effigy2000

Effigy2000 — Thu, 30 Apr 2009 23:05:38 -0800

iAmNonPlussed.

By: Avenger

Avenger — Thu, 30 Apr 2009 23:08:12 -0800

iGiveahandjobtosomefilthytweakerinthebathroomofthegaybar Wait. That's actually a great totally non-ironic idea!

By: birdhaus

birdhaus — Thu, 30 Apr 2009 23:11:12 -0800

After years of such abuse and finally losing everything, the next application this guy will need will be Narcotics iNonymous.

By: porpoise

porpoise — Thu, 30 Apr 2009 23:20:13 -0800

iHate the iPrefix more than the ePrefix. That the branding is so successful indicates that there are too many narcissistic people with vastly more discretional income than taste than I do. Yes, it's an envy/jealousy thing. These people have money and no style and seek to procure it, and by dint of marketing, achieve some minimal leval of style by dint of recursiveness. I have no money. Whether or not I have style or not is not the point. Apple could potentially shoot themselves in the foot if an actual competitor* could find some way of making fun of the iPhenomenon. *which there are currently... none

By: Effigy2000

Effigy2000 — Thu, 30 Apr 2009 23:26:54 -0800

OK porpoise, so you hate the iPrefix alot. Just curious... how do you feel about an iSuffix?

By: Blazecock Pileon

Blazecock Pileon — Thu, 30 Apr 2009 23:27:19 -0800

So you're saying I need a jailbroken iPhone for this? Okay, okay.

By: des

des — Thu, 30 Apr 2009 23:30:06 -0800

I was expecting a swine flu tracking app.

By: Damn That Television

Damn That Television — Thu, 30 Apr 2009 23:30:38 -0800

iFeellikemyearsarebleedingguysseriouslyaremyearsbleedingtheyarentareyousureokayokay theyarentgreatwellanywaywhowantstodrivetoatlanticcityyesIKNOWidontgablethatsnothepoint

By: Afroblanco

Afroblanco — Thu, 30 Apr 2009 23:32:15 -0800

oh, like anyone would risk scratching their iphone screen like that.

By: swift

swift — Fri, 01 May 2009 00:24:35 -0800

This one goes in the time capsule.

By: Catblack

Catblack — Fri, 01 May 2009 00:49:31 -0800

Have y'all seen this gem? Drug-related preference in cocaine addiction extends to images

By: mattoxic

mattoxic — Fri, 01 May 2009 00:54:26 -0800

oh, like anyone would risk scratching their iphone screen like that. yes, to scratch any shiny Apple product is tantamount to vandalism

By: PeterMcDermott

PeterMcDermott — Fri, 01 May 2009 00:55:30 -0800

That's actually a great totally non-ironic idea! I think you're confusing it with iGetahandjobfromsomefilthytweakerinthebathroomofthegaybar

By: mattdidthat

mattdidthat — Fri, 01 May 2009 00:58:27 -0800

So I was trying to dial my iPhone and the touchscreen was all weird because I couldn't feel my fingertips so we tried to text-message Jim's wife on the laptop to call her friend but it was so late we weren't sure if the Internet was still on because the wires get so hot and all the CO2 is changing the temperature of the ocean forever and causing the ice caps to melt and even though there is land under the Antarctic ice sheet it doesn't matter one goddamned bit because no one owns Antarctica, I mean can you believe that, it's free land so we have to go totally fucking green right now before the planet is fried like a grilled cheese sandwich because in twenty years the front yard will be underwater and we'll have to move to that new island in Hawaii that's an underwater volcano so what we need to do right now is go completely primal like cavemen but with computers and cell phones because when the environmental apocalypse hits it's going to be crazy, like Waterworld and Road Warrior at the same time and by that time there's going to no Internet and holy shit I have the most insane idea for a nightclub on the side of a cliff and hey, have you seen my iPhone?

By: sourwookie

sourwookie — Fri, 01 May 2009 01:12:59 -0800

There is no "woo-hoo!" At that point the guy who made the app engages you into a discussion about how that app, although a simulation, is really a game-changer in terms of phone software and the simulated experience is the new reality and don't you get how great it is when people no longer need a corporeal existence when perhaps your product is what people will judge you by and I bring for example the time I played "The Night They Drove Old Dixie Down" and thy were all hootin' and hollerin' and, dammit, you know--I mean really know you're better than that and perhaps it's time to write that song about the NEW civil war and msh it up with that great idea about that stage production of Yacht Rock provided you get the right guy to play Jeff "Skunk" Baxter and I only bring this up with you, cause you play in a lot of bands and you know how a project should go and I swear this is really the greatest idea ever and we really could make this happen and seriously ther is so much genious in this project and back to the app; there are many ways to simulate how things are--can I get a beer--without getting into--she was looking at me, right? Hey, it was fun listening to you, but I have to go talk to her, yeah she seems chatty but also seems alone so she sureky was watching the show and it seemed she was into me while I was on stage and she's pretty cold now, but it's likely she doesn't know how to deal with others and, dammit, she's always hot for shinier peacocks despite the fsct she has no clue...

By: The Light Fantastic

The Light Fantastic — Fri, 01 May 2009 01:14:36 -0800

Let's go get some more!

By: sourwookie

sourwookie — Fri, 01 May 2009 01:15:39 -0800

Seems mattdidthat and I were on the same track.

By: The Light Fantastic

The Light Fantastic — Fri, 01 May 2009 01:17:55 -0800

Oh...and from the article linked above: "This suggests that drug-addicted individuals may not be fully aware of their own choice behavior or that drug choice in addicted individuals may not be fully driven by the pleasure or reward they get from the drug, as is frequently assumed." No shit, Sherlock.

By: mattdidthat

mattdidthat — Fri, 01 May 2009 01:29:16 -0800

posted by sourwookie Seems mattdidthat and I were on the same track. Oh yeah man totally dude, we're totally on the same track like perfectly synchronized, I mean ultimately thought patterns are like these railroad tracks that intersect and branch off in a million different directions because our thoughts are like freight trains linking up in different permutations and Kurt Vonnegut touched on this in Slaughterhouse-Five with that bit about the guy looking through a pipe while strapped to the deck of a rail car and his concept of time was just totally linear as opposed to a globalized universe and I just realized I can prove the theory of relativity right now because if we didn't have speed limits we'd be able to slow down time individually, yeah?

By: Catblack

Catblack — Fri, 01 May 2009 01:37:36 -0800

At that point the guy who made the app engages you into a discussion about how that app, although a simulation, is really a game-changer in terms of phone software and the simulated experience is the new reality and don't you get how great it is when people no longer need a corporeal existence This is videodrome all over again, isn't it? Long Live the New Flesh!

By: Samizdata

Samizdata — Fri, 01 May 2009 02:26:09 -0800

iSnort is for wussies. I'm alpha testing iCrank.

By: Pollomacho

Pollomacho — Fri, 01 May 2009 04:32:42 -0800

Just in case being a cocaine user who flashes his iPhone in a club didn't make you enough of a pretentious asshole! /ironic hipsterish detachment

By: digsrus

digsrus — Fri, 01 May 2009 04:50:35 -0800

They'd sell a million apps if they changed it so you can stick your nose into a pile and come up with coke on the end like Tony Montana.

By: monkeyJuice

monkeyJuice — Fri, 01 May 2009 04:54:42 -0800

lame.

By: Drasher

Drasher — Fri, 01 May 2009 05:16:26 -0800

iFart in your general direction

By: oneironaut

oneironaut — Fri, 01 May 2009 05:46:10 -0800

Wait, I have a technical question. The iPhone has a capacitative touchscreen. How does tapping it with a credit card and brushing it with a rolled-up dollar work?

By: mkultra

mkultra — Fri, 01 May 2009 05:53:32 -0800

This app would have been the perfect use of iPhone 3.0's upcoming micropayment system, which allows developers to charge users within their apps for new content. So the app and the first hit, as they say, would be free, but...

By: Pastabagel

Pastabagel — Fri, 01 May 2009 06:20:24 -0800

I'm releasing a hacked version called iCutItWithBorax. Actually, it would be kind of neat if after you snorted the coke, a little medical bag icon appeared, which you could spread open with your fingers and from which you could draw a hypodermic needle. Then the needle would fill the screen and you'd have to stab the iPhone into your chest in a simulation of attempted resuscitation of an OD'ed patient.

By: orme

orme — Fri, 01 May 2009 06:42:12 -0800

iWillSaveMyMoneyForRealDrugsThanks

By: bhnyc

bhnyc — Fri, 01 May 2009 08:43:15 -0800

How does tapping it with a credit card and brushing it with a rolled-up dollar work? It doesn't. Maybe they faked it. Has anyone actually downloaded the app?

By: annathea

annathea — Fri, 01 May 2009 09:07:47 -0800

I'm going to guess they do it by sound, since they're not touching the screen directly with skin. I'm not as sure about the cutting, but definitely the snorting, that's detected via the mic. That's why he's so theatrical about it.

By: FusiveResonance

FusiveResonance — Fri, 01 May 2009 18:42:19 -0800

The tapping must just place the lines in the same location on the screen. As for the snorting, I would guess that the line disappears based on sound, and does so at a fixed rate. With a little practice, he made a smooth video that appears to be dynamic, although it isn't. Just my 2 cents

By: Talanvor

Talanvor — Sat, 02 May 2009 00:09:47 -0800

Can the iPhone sense vibration? Maybe that's how the tapping worked, though I don't know about the cutting. Could just be a random placement on those.

By: chairface

chairface — Sat, 02 May 2009 08:06:59 -0800

The iphone has accelerometers so it knows when it's being tapped. The snorting action I'm not so clear on. It might just be video and the demo is well timed to his actions.