A safer way to cross Times Square

May 1, 2009 2:53 PM

I came across this at youtube while looking for a visual to illustrate "strong teeth" in an e-mail. Just had to share: Woman crosses Time Square by her teeth, circa 1932.
posted by BoscosMom (26 comments total)

It's terrible when you spontaneously develop a crush on somebody from a reel of old film. But, dammit, Tiny Kline, you just stole my heart.
posted by Astro Zombie at 3:07 PM on May 1, 2009

*freaks out a little*
posted by Skot at 3:09 PM on May 1, 2009

More on Tiny Kline, circus performer, and later, older neighbor yelling at kids to get off her lawn.
posted by stupidsexyFlanders at 3:10 PM on May 1, 2009 [3 favorites]

I love how cartoony the police officers actually behave.
posted by Foci for Analysis at 3:12 PM on May 1, 2009 [1 favorite]

I bet Tina Fey could do that.
posted by vronsky at 3:13 PM on May 1, 2009 [1 favorite]

Was it a side-effect of frame-rate conversion or did women all speak squeaky back then?
posted by GuyZero at 3:15 PM on May 1, 2009

Take THAT, Matt & Kim.
posted by Ratio at 3:16 PM on May 1, 2009 [6 favorites]

King Tooth pulls trains with his teeth.
posted by not_on_display at 3:24 PM on May 1, 2009

I'm glad she did it that way. I had imagined her somehow biting into the pavement and dragging herself across Broadway neckbend by neckbend.
posted by kingfisher, his musclebound cat at 3:39 PM on May 1, 2009 [34 favorites]

I'm glad she did it that way. I had imagined her somehow biting into the pavement and dragging herself across Broadway neckbend by neckbend.

I had the same thought. I wasn't going to watch it until I saw your comment, then I had to see what she did.
posted by knapah at 4:01 PM on May 1, 2009 [1 favorite]

I saw this clip years ago in the wonderful film, Gizmo!, an ode to Rube Goldberg contraptions and folks with strange talents. It's still impressive to watch her fly that wire using only her teeth. THAT'S commitment, children. Please don't try that at home.

StupidSexyFlanders, that Tiny Kline vignette was very cool. Thanks for linking to that.
posted by mosk at 4:15 PM on May 1, 2009 [1 favorite]

I'm glad she did it that way. I had imagined her somehow biting into the pavement and dragging herself across Broadway neckbend by neckbend.

I imagined her biting onto a car and being dragged across. I didn't want to see that and am glad I didn't.
posted by ORthey at 4:18 PM on May 1, 2009 [1 favorite]

Rachael Ray could do it faster because her mouth actually spans Times Square when fully open.
posted by Krrrlson at 4:25 PM on May 1, 2009 [1 favorite]

Thanks for the links stupidsexyflanders, I love it that she was the first tinker bell at Disneyland, at the age of 70!
posted by BoscosMom at 4:26 PM on May 1, 2009

I'd be more impressed if she were urinating the whole time.
posted by jbickers at 4:32 PM on May 1, 2009 [7 favorites]

I imagined her cranking her jaws open to a cartoonish width, then doing a flip and landing on her teeth. After an audible crunch, feet waving in the air, she slowly drags her remaining incisors across the pavement with a screeeech, then carefully extends for another round.

Across the Square, her brother, the dentist, quietly weeps.
posted by adipocere at 4:33 PM on May 1, 2009

chevrolet
posted by ioesf at 4:37 PM on May 1, 2009 [1 favorite]

That was really awesome, thanks for sharing.
posted by Slarty Bartfast at 4:44 PM on May 1, 2009

Cop: You should have known you can't do that.

I'd love to see the wording of that by-law.
posted by binturong at 4:56 PM on May 1, 2009 [1 favorite]

"Hey Tiny!"

"Yeaaaahaa?AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!"






*Don't worry - Tiny only falls until she can sink her teeth into the side of a lamp post.
posted by orme at 4:59 PM on May 1, 2009 [1 favorite]

I figured she was going to bite Serena Williams in the ass, develop lockjaw, and be dragged across Times Square to her death.
posted by mr_crash_davis mark II: Jazz Odyssey at 5:23 PM on May 1, 2009 [2 favorites]

Metafilter's own Tube, lifting dancers with his teeth.
posted by mrzarquon at 5:46 PM on May 1, 2009

The jolting stop has godda hoit.
posted by DU at 6:11 PM on May 1, 2009

I hate sneezing when I'm doing that.

I think MetaFilter should dare Tina Fey to do it. Dog dare her.
posted by five fresh fish at 6:27 PM on May 1, 2009

She didn't even smear her lipstick. They don't make lipstick like that anymore.
posted by scratch at 7:39 PM on May 1, 2009 [2 favorites]

that was fucking cool
posted by criticalbill at 4:51 AM on May 4, 2009