"We cannot hold a torch to light another's path without brightening our own."
May 4, 2009 8:44 AM Subscribe
Stuck in the dark without a flashlight and want to impress your friends? Make your own torch!
Too complicated? Here's an easier one. Alternatively, you could go with a more traditional approach, though you may find modern designs to be a bit safer.
Still not enough? How about adding some color to the flames?
Too complicated? Here's an easier one. Alternatively, you could go with a more traditional approach, though you may find modern designs to be a bit safer.
Still not enough? How about adding some color to the flames?
Anarchism just isn't what it used to be.
You need a website to show you how to burn something on a stick?
posted by yhbc at 9:01 AM on May 4, 2009 [8 favorites]
You need a website to show you how to burn something on a stick?
posted by yhbc at 9:01 AM on May 4, 2009 [8 favorites]
But it costs less than a dollar! It's anarchism for the budget-minded hooligan.
posted by Dr-Baa at 9:03 AM on May 4, 2009
posted by Dr-Baa at 9:03 AM on May 4, 2009
Sega is way better than Nintendo.
posted by popcassady at 9:09 AM on May 4, 2009 [1 favorite]
posted by popcassady at 9:09 AM on May 4, 2009 [1 favorite]
Doesn't this work better with pitch?
posted by Pollomacho at 9:12 AM on May 4, 2009
posted by Pollomacho at 9:12 AM on May 4, 2009
One of the great things I've noticed about carrying torch fuel on my person 24/7 is that I can pretty much make anything into a torch.
posted by dosterm at 9:13 AM on May 4, 2009
posted by dosterm at 9:13 AM on May 4, 2009
and I thought you were going to teach me how to make a "flashlight."
posted by caddis at 9:17 AM on May 4, 2009
posted by caddis at 9:17 AM on May 4, 2009
I'd much rather curse the darkness.
posted by kuujjuarapik at 9:21 AM on May 4, 2009 [1 favorite]
posted by kuujjuarapik at 9:21 AM on May 4, 2009 [1 favorite]
This needed a How To? It must be the 2009 equivalent of "How to Boil Water".
Reminds me of Wood, In Popular Culture.
posted by rokusan at 9:21 AM on May 4, 2009 [1 favorite]
Reminds me of Wood, In Popular Culture.
posted by rokusan at 9:21 AM on May 4, 2009 [1 favorite]
I love when instructables have some insanely low price for materials cost, because "things I have around already cost nothing." This $10 bottle of oil, $5 hammer, $3 t-shirt, were things I already had, and I found the piece of wood, so that's free, I only paid for the staples I used.
posted by borkencode at 9:27 AM on May 4, 2009 [2 favorites]
posted by borkencode at 9:27 AM on May 4, 2009 [2 favorites]
Stuck in the dark without a flashlight...
I'm guessing that being in the dark and unable to see a thing does not equal the best possible time to be playing with kerosene and matches.
It reminds me of the lad from the next village down who decided to work on his motorbike by candlelight.
posted by Sova at 9:29 AM on May 4, 2009
I'm guessing that being in the dark and unable to see a thing does not equal the best possible time to be playing with kerosene and matches.
It reminds me of the lad from the next village down who decided to work on his motorbike by candlelight.
posted by Sova at 9:29 AM on May 4, 2009
Now if there was just an instructable showing me how to make my own 10 meter length of rope, and some scale mail, and a short sword, I could go dungeon crawling. Maybe if I sit here and wait, and reload the page a bunch.
posted by dammitjim at 9:30 AM on May 4, 2009 [2 favorites]
posted by dammitjim at 9:30 AM on May 4, 2009 [2 favorites]
stupid.
posted by ElmerFishpaw at 9:31 AM on May 4, 2009
posted by ElmerFishpaw at 9:31 AM on May 4, 2009
Maybe if I sit here and wait, and reload the page a bunch.
Nothing happens.
Nothing happens.
Nothing happens.
Nothing happens.
posted by rokusan at 9:31 AM on May 4, 2009
Nothing happens.
Nothing happens.
Nothing happens.
Nothing happens.
posted by rokusan at 9:31 AM on May 4, 2009
I'd rather be eaten by a grue.
posted by Balisong at 9:33 AM on May 4, 2009 [2 favorites]
posted by Balisong at 9:33 AM on May 4, 2009 [2 favorites]
Nothing happens.
Nothing happens.
Random encounter: the thread is attacked by trolls.
posted by rokusan at 9:33 AM on May 4, 2009
Nothing happens.
Random encounter: the thread is attacked by trolls.
posted by rokusan at 9:33 AM on May 4, 2009
This torch -- it burns?
On preview, caddis beat me to it.
posted by Durn Bronzefist at 9:42 AM on May 4, 2009
On preview, caddis beat me to it.
posted by Durn Bronzefist at 9:42 AM on May 4, 2009
Anyone know how to make a pitchfork to go along with this?
Step 1) join college radio station
Step 2) become unimpressed with all things "indie" and "popular," even in the limited circles of college radio
Step 3) gather like-minded individuals, start ranting
Step 4) design websites for said like-minded individuals to share their distaste and bitter feelings online
Step 5) success.
Oh, a real-life pitchfork. Right.
posted by filthy light thief at 9:46 AM on May 4, 2009
Step 1) join college radio station
Step 2) become unimpressed with all things "indie" and "popular," even in the limited circles of college radio
Step 3) gather like-minded individuals, start ranting
Step 4) design websites for said like-minded individuals to share their distaste and bitter feelings online
Step 5) success.
Oh, a real-life pitchfork. Right.
posted by filthy light thief at 9:46 AM on May 4, 2009
Tonight on The Internet: Fire is bright.
Tomorrow night: Also hot.
posted by DU at 9:51 AM on May 4, 2009
Tomorrow night: Also hot.
posted by DU at 9:51 AM on May 4, 2009
Item 1: 10 meter length of rope
Item 2: scale mail or chainmail
Item 3: short sword (I don't trust you with anything really sharp)
I hope your refresh finger didn't get too tired.
posted by filthy light thief at 9:53 AM on May 4, 2009
Item 2: scale mail or chainmail
Item 3: short sword (I don't trust you with anything really sharp)
I hope your refresh finger didn't get too tired.
posted by filthy light thief at 9:53 AM on May 4, 2009
This is why I can't stand on-line teaching videos. You could spend 2:35 watching this or four seconds reading this: "mix one cup rubbing alcohol with 1/2 cup water, soak rag in the mixture, wring it out, tie it around a rod, light it with a match."
posted by twsf at 9:56 AM on May 4, 2009 [3 favorites]
posted by twsf at 9:56 AM on May 4, 2009 [3 favorites]
"When there's nothing left to burn, you have to set yourself on fire."
posted by Rangeboy at 10:29 AM on May 4, 2009 [2 favorites]
posted by Rangeboy at 10:29 AM on May 4, 2009 [2 favorites]
The best of the web? Really?
Is there a Metafilter rule that this comment has to be in every thread?
posted by Dr. Send at 10:57 AM on May 4, 2009
Is there a Metafilter rule that this comment has to be in every thread?
posted by Dr. Send at 10:57 AM on May 4, 2009
"to keep the rag taught ..."
Rags need learnin'!
posted by mr_crash_davis mark II: Jazz Odyssey at 11:05 AM on May 4, 2009
Rags need learnin'!
posted by mr_crash_davis mark II: Jazz Odyssey at 11:05 AM on May 4, 2009
Metafilter: It's anarchism for the budget-minded hooligan.
posted by CynicalKnight at 11:08 AM on May 4, 2009
posted by CynicalKnight at 11:08 AM on May 4, 2009
Your torch goes out with a fizzle. With out-stretched arms, you move slowly, looking for a light. Suddenly, you trip over something!! Smash!! You fall face first to the floor!!
>>>>>>, >>>>>>>>>
It's a sad thing your adventures have ended here! If only you had seen this website!
posted by jake at 11:15 AM on May 4, 2009
>>>>>>, >>>>>>>>>
It's a sad thing your adventures have ended here! If only you had seen this website!
posted by jake at 11:15 AM on May 4, 2009
Our maintenance director assembled an angry, torch-and-pitchfork mob to use as the ultimate Assasination Game weapon one of the years I worked as a camp counselor. His technique was superior a number of regards: he used tent surplus canvas lay flatly and then bound with bailing wire over 2x4s. Serious lumber makes a difference, as does care in construction and material choice, especially in mob contexts. The torches were given to theatrical campfire lighting and lasted throughout the summer and in a pinch could have been used in serious hand-to-hand.
Nobody ever fucked with that guy again.
posted by Ogre Lawless at 11:31 AM on May 4, 2009
Nobody ever fucked with that guy again.
posted by Ogre Lawless at 11:31 AM on May 4, 2009
You've got to kick at the darkness 'til it bleeds daylight.
posted by Sys Rq at 12:15 PM on May 4, 2009
posted by Sys Rq at 12:15 PM on May 4, 2009
I can make a rock into a hammer. It'll take me about half an hour to show you how though, and I'm kind of busy.
posted by From Bklyn at 2:27 PM on May 4, 2009
posted by From Bklyn at 2:27 PM on May 4, 2009
Now this here, she's a real beaut. TwentyPoint Inc auto-loading semi-automatic double-barreled torch-firing pitchfork. Perfect for self defense, raiding fortresses and political instability. She's got a patent pending MobJus trigger system, for that real light touch, and the AcurAim TriLok HS PL 1789 Revolution barrel system gives you unsurpassed dimensional integrity for accurate, repeatable torch flight with TwentyPoint Inc no-dud auto-timed white phosphorus Heavenly Light incendiary torch ammo. Lighting your way to the future by burning someone else's.
posted by stavrogin at 4:08 PM on May 4, 2009
posted by stavrogin at 4:08 PM on May 4, 2009
caddis: "and I thought you were going to teach me how to make a "flashlight.""
I can imagine the Instructables version of that :
"Step 1: Go to the dime store and buy a cheap flashlight."
Step 2 involves a dremel...
posted by Pinback at 11:29 PM on May 4, 2009
I can imagine the Instructables version of that :
"Step 1: Go to the dime store and buy a cheap flashlight."
Step 2 involves a dremel...
posted by Pinback at 11:29 PM on May 4, 2009
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posted by Dr-Baa at 8:59 AM on May 4, 2009 [1 favorite]