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Nelson Mandela is a “terrorist and a Communist”
June 7, 2001 4:10 PM   Subscribe

Nelson Mandela is a “terrorist and a Communist” according to the Canadian Alliance’s laughingstock postpubescent Member of Parliament for Calgary West, who, incidentally, is also a virgin.
posted by textist (24 comments total)

 
He's a virgin? Whoa! Hold the presses! Better research that one, it completely twists the entire meaning of the main story here.
posted by wackybrit at 4:19 PM on June 7, 2001


who, incidentally, is also a virgin.

*defensively* Yeah, so?
posted by SpecialK at 4:23 PM on June 7, 2001


Not to burst the bubble (so to speak), but that last article says he is not a virgin.

And, like SpecialK said, so?
posted by OneBallJay at 4:31 PM on June 7, 2001


Wait, nevermind, I've got the names all mixed up. Those crazy canucks, can't they have easily differentiated names like Man #1 and Man #2?

However, it is good to see that at least one of my neighbors to the north is trying to keep those blasted pinko communists out.
posted by OneBallJay at 4:37 PM on June 7, 2001


As a Canuck, I love to watch the Alliance Party self destruct in such self-eating slow motion. Star Wars still comes to mind whenever I hear their name. "You are part of the rebel alliance..."
posted by riley370 at 4:49 PM on June 7, 2001


That "virgin" link refers to itself as "Canada's Definitive Satirical Magazine".

The Onion Up North?
posted by pnevares at 4:57 PM on June 7, 2001


The Onion Up North?

Frank isn't as funny as The Onion; it is however much, much meaner.
posted by textist at 6:13 PM on June 7, 2001


That isn't the onion up north, the best campus satire rag is golden words at queen's university. Ah, it's a shameless plug, I write for them. However, we do have evidence of other campus newspapers copying our articles and worshiping us.
posted by dave at 6:38 PM on June 7, 2001


A virgin, how _terrible_! There can't be any of those around anymore, could there? Call out the mounties!

As for the "Communist and a Terrorist" silliness... sheesh! I mean, Mandela's past is hardly pristine, but one might as well shoot straight if you're going take fire at a person held in such high esteem.
posted by silusGROK at 10:02 PM on June 7, 2001


textist: I am just curious. Why did you add the qualifier, "virgin"? Do you think criticizing Mandela should be restricted to people who have had sex (hetero or otherwise)? Are you surprised that a virgin can be elected an MP? Is this your satiric way of mocking at his Catholic practices?

[No sarcasm here. I am genuinely curious.]
posted by tamim at 11:02 PM on June 7, 2001


I think Textist was joking, guys.
And come on, an apparently normal, healthy looking fella who is nearly 30 years old and hasn't had sex isn't strange? It's a lot stranger than a man getting a blow job at work, and that was in the news for a year.
posted by Doug at 11:19 PM on June 7, 2001


Nothing against Catholics – being a lapsed one – or virginity for that matter, but the mention of his being a virgin (or, more specifically, repeatedly claiming publicly to be one) was intended to add another dimension to the utter ridiculousness of the guy: something already painfully familiar to Canadians even slightly to the left of Conrad Black.

Making loud political hay out of such a personal moral decision as this, while simultaneously preaching cookie-cutter neocon blarf designed to roger everyone but white businessmen up the bum, strikes me as ridiculous.

Plus it’s funny.
posted by textist at 11:47 PM on June 7, 2001


Well, I guess Mandela was both a terrorist and a Communist - those facts can't be disputed. But you have to let bygones be bygones and move forward for the sake of peace and stability, which is what the National Party in South Africa did - so why can't the rest of the world.
posted by twistedonion at 1:29 AM on June 8, 2001


So the problem here is that they can't get unanimous approval because of this guy? It's not enough to burble about Mandela like the media used to over Sister Theresa, but we must enforce unanimity? All hail St. <insert your own media-championed paragon here>! Anders may be a joke, but if I were him I'd vote no just to piss the forces of rightthink off.
posted by rodii at 7:09 AM on June 8, 2001


twistedonion, those "facts" can be disputed:Mandela was neither a terorrist or a Communist.

Mandela was never a member of the Communist Party in South Africa, although he has said that the Communists were critical in anti-Apartheid movement.

During the 1940s and 1950s he worked as a lawyer and attempted to use peaceful, legal means to gain rights for blacks. The South African government banned his organization, the African National Congress, and the white Transvaal Law Society tried to strike Mandela off the roll of attorneys. He was tried for treason.

In 1961 he helped form Umkhonto we Sizwe (MK), the military wing of the ANC. It conducted a campaign of sabotage against government and economic installations; it avoided hurting people.

In the early-1960s he was charged with sabotage and sentenced to life imprisonment. Shortly after his release in 1990, Mandela agreed to the suspension of armed struggle.
posted by tranquileye at 7:15 AM on June 8, 2001


Anders voted against the Mandela resolution in part because the ruling Liberal party would not back his resolution honouring the Queen and the Duke of Edinburgh on their 50th wedding anniversary. Anders is an idiot.
posted by tranquileye at 7:19 AM on June 8, 2001


I am surprised that there is a 30-year-old virgin in the Canadian parliament for the same reason I would be surprised if the Easter Bunny had won a seat.
posted by kindall at 9:02 AM on June 8, 2001


tranquileye, I have to disagree but perhaps that is my tainted knowledge of SA history - I went to high school in Joburg towards the end of Apartheid, but our history lessons were rather biased.

I didn't say that Mandela was a member of the SA Communist party, but to my knowledge the ANC (right up to the end of Apartheid at any rate) preached communist values - they were a communist party. The military wing of the ANC may have tried to avoid hurting people but as with any armed struggle they in fact killed a lot of people.

Don't get me wrong, I have a great respect for Mandela but I would still consider him to have been both a terrorist and a communist, much in the same way as I consider Gerry Adams to have been both a terrorist and a communist (the IRA hold Marxist principles - or they did at any rate), although I have no respect for Gerry Adams.

But we all have to move on
posted by twistedonion at 9:12 AM on June 8, 2001


I think it is far more apt to say that Winnie Mandela is a terrorist or at least a promoter of terrorist activities -- though her political leanings are open to discussion.
posted by Dreama at 9:13 AM on June 8, 2001


Um... there's nothing wrong or strange about being almost 30 and a virgin. There are plenty of people who wait until they're married or in some other form of a committed relationship to have sex. I'm single, I'm a virgin, and I'm politically active... of course, I'm not stupid enough to think that going off on Nelson Mandela is the least bit politic.

And I concur, dreama... if any Mandela was a terrorist it was Winnie.
posted by silusGROK at 9:33 AM on June 8, 2001


There are plenty of people who wait until they're married or in some other form of a committed relationship to have sex.

For sufficiently small values of "plenty," I'm sure.
posted by kindall at 10:48 AM on June 8, 2001


vision - wrong, no; strange, yes, in the sense of being highly unusual statistically.
posted by DiplomaticImmunity at 11:40 AM on June 8, 2001


twistedonion, I guess we can agree to disagree.

Mandela was never a member of the Communist Party in South Africa. From what I have read of his political beliefs he was a socialist and social democrat. I associate communism with authoritarianism, and that just wasn't Mandela.

I don't think he was a "terrorist"; I think he fought for freedom in the face of state violence.

The way that he conducted himself and his government after he came to power speaks volumes about this man.
posted by tranquileye at 12:05 PM on June 9, 2001


I am surprised that there is a 30-year-old virgin in the Canadian parliament for the same reason I would be surprised if the Easter Bunny had won a seat.

There's a strong whiff of the closet about this, I think.
posted by rodii at 1:47 PM on June 9, 2001


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