Mambo #5

May 7, 2009 5:02 PM

Ok, stop me if you’ve heard this one: an ex-cop accused of killing his fourth wife gets engaged a fifth time and tries to get a job in a brothel on a reality t.v. show (video), but before he can, he's arrested today for killing his third wife.

Of course, his fifth engagement was just a stunt. Or was it? Whatever. The world's greatest dad has plenty of ladies lining up to take his wife's place(s).

posted by Smedleyman (40 comments total)

I've not heard that one! How does it end? With some dude calling Superman a jerk?
posted by Effigy2000 at 5:03 PM on May 7

Wasn't this a Lifetime movie starring Treat Williams?
posted by FelliniBlank at 5:13 PM on May 7 [1 favorite has favorites]

Well, if that brothel thing can't work out then I'm sure they can monetize his trial some way.
posted by Burhanistan at 5:13 PM on May 7

In the words of the immortal Bill Hicks: "Chicks dig jerks."
posted by Crotalus at 5:13 PM on May 7 [2 favorites has favorites]

...and jerks dig chicks.
posted by Mblue at 5:15 PM on May 7 [1 favorite has favorites]

What the hell? Also, this was weird

But Kelly told Early Show co-anchor Julie Chen Savio's father, Henry Savio, and sister, Anna Doman, don't stand to gain "one penny from the suit. "They have no financial interest in the lawsuit whatsoever. It's only for the estate and Kathleen's two minor children."

If the suit succeeds, Kelly explained, "All the assets that should have gone to the children originally, all the marital assets and things like that, would be properly segregated for the children. And Mr. Peterson would be taken to task and labeled for what he had done, causing (Savio's) death."
...
Thomas Peterson told Chen he thinks the suit is "ridiculous. Because what they're trying to do, they're trying to take money from my dad and basically give it back to us. Now, do the math. He's got everything put into us as it is. So it just doesn't make sense to me."

Thomas says he doesn't remember ever even meeting his grandfather, Henry Savio, and hasn't seen his aunt, Doman, in six years, adding, "They've made no attempt of contacting me. So I haven't really seen them."
...
And Kelly, the lawyer for the Savios, added, "By all accounts these young men loved their mother. Their mother loved them. To see them thrust on national television to talk about her untimely death right now is unsettling, too."

Uh, you're the one who brought them into this.
posted by delmoi at 5:18 PM on May 7

LOLMURDERINGSCUMBAGS
posted by DU at 5:19 PM on May 7

I prefer the immortal line, "Popo kill people"...
posted by yeloson at 5:27 PM on May 7

So, uh, do you wanna get dead married?
posted by defenestration at 5:29 PM on May 7

Where are the first two wives?
posted by dabitch at 5:34 PM on May 7

Big story out here in Chicago. Like with Blagojevich. It looks like they might get away, capitalize on their infamy, maybe be on reality t.v. ...
Then - No! Rejected!
*sigh of relief*
posted by Smedleyman at 5:39 PM on May 7

Ok, stop me if you’ve heard this one [before]...

Nothing's changed, I still love you... only slightly less than I used to, my love.

I was delayed, I was way-laid. An emergency stop; I smelt the last ten seconds of life. I crashed down on the crossbar and the pain was enough to make a shy, bald, buddhist reflect and plan a mass murder. Who said I'd lied to her ?
posted by GuyZero at 5:40 PM on May 7 [9 favorites has favorites]

The Aristocrats!
posted by cog_nate at 5:42 PM on May 7 [11 favorites has favorites]

i think he's guilty as sin. of course, i also thought the same about gary condit.
posted by msconduct at 5:45 PM on May 7

Man, I can never keep Stacy Peterson and Lacy Peterson or whoever the couple of dead Petersons are, straight.
posted by klangklangston at 5:55 PM on May 7 [1 favorite has favorites]

Wow, I don't know if it's intentional or not, but the still frame of the video the AP uses shows him with quite a facial expression. And I hadn't heard about Blagojevech being invited on a reality show in Costa Rica. This is nuts. Looks like there's a real glut in the reality show market.
posted by Marisa Stole the Precious Thing at 6:04 PM on May 7

is it Ghostbusters 2?
posted by tzikeh at 6:24 PM on May 7 [2 favorites has favorites]

Or, what I should have said - Play Him Off, Keyboard Cat.
posted by tzikeh at 6:24 PM on May 7 [1 favorite has favorites]

Fuck the police.
posted by hamida2242 at 6:27 PM on May 7 [2 favorites has favorites]

T.V.! Murder! Sex! Fox news! Brothel! Stunts! Ladies!!!!!!!!!
posted by pianomover at 6:32 PM on May 7

"There is a perfectly good explanation for where I was that night, but I have... amnesia!!!"
posted by Krrrlson at 6:38 PM on May 7

Not that I would expect Dennis Hof to be a classy guy, but considering hiring a suspected murderer to work at your brothel for ratings? That's lower than low.
posted by Saxon Kane at 6:51 PM on May 7 [1 favorite has favorites]

Man, I can never keep Stacy Peterson and Lacy Peterson or whoever the couple of dead Petersons are, straight.

Also the Michael Peterson case out of North Carolina. Beware Petersons, apparently.
posted by Bookhouse at 7:22 PM on May 7 [1 favorite has favorites]

The only upside: No one asks, "Is that -dersen or -terson?" when you have the last name of multiple killers.
posted by Gucky at 9:38 PM on May 7

Where are the first two wives?

Alive and kicking. He didn't develop the habit until later.
posted by dhartung at 10:00 PM on May 7

The dude ought to shave more often. His chin is looking a little blue.
posted by pracowity at 10:56 PM on May 7

How is this even MeFi worthy? People kill other people all the time.
posted by C17H19NO3 at 1:34 AM on May 8

Fuck the police.

Apparently that's what all these women want to do.
posted by Pollomacho at 4:49 AM on May 8

How is this even MeFi worthy? People kill other people all the time.

On MetaFilter?
posted by Pollomacho at 4:51 AM on May 8

What if his son is the killer, like Dexter? The dad is trying to protect the kid, who keeps killing his wives! He gets all mad at the kid, but he can't help loving the little scamp!
posted by orme at 5:56 AM on May 8

How is this even MeFi worthy? People kill other people all the time.

I like this. I will begin to use it. It's good for almost every post.

'How is this even MeFi worthy? People make websites all the time.'
posted by shakespeherian at 7:43 AM on May 8 [1 favorite has favorites]

... investigators tracked more than 1,100 leads in Savio's death and the disappearance of Stacy Peterson, amassing some 500 gigabytes of digital information.

Jeez, turn down the DPI on that scanner. Five Hundred Gigs!?
posted by General Tonic at 8:52 AM on May 8 [2 favorites has favorites]

How is this even MeFi worthy? People kill other people all the time.

People kill people, so why should it be
You would deem it worthy of an FPP?
posted by Atom Eyes at 8:57 AM on May 8 [3 favorites has favorites]

People kill other people all the time.

But usually they aren't offered roles on reality shows as a direct result of them being suspects.

Though if this trend continues, we will be one step closer to the future as predicted by the movie the Running Man.

And we really should to whatever possible to prevent that. It would be pretty horrible, what with the bad costumes and ridiculous villain concepts.
posted by quin at 9:06 AM on May 8

i think he's guilty as sin. of course, i also thought the same about gary condit.

Huh? Why on earth did you think that? He was never even a suspect.
posted by delmoi at 9:19 AM on May 8

HBO execs have said they will cancel the show before they let Peterson's mug on it.
posted by daHIFI at 9:53 AM on May 8

People kill people, so why should it be
You would deem it worthy of an FPP?

You know different sites have different needs
and different colors and different creeds

It's obvious you hate this though it's done nothing wrong
You've never even read it so what could it have done?
posted by GuyZero at 10:38 AM on May 8 [1 favorite has favorites]

Jeez, turn down the DPI on that scanner. Five Hundred Gigs!?

The outlook .PST file for the tips email address. 500 gigs of viagara spam.
posted by GuyZero at 10:39 AM on May 8 [1 favorite has favorites]

I can't understand
What makes a man
Hate another man
'Cause his post was "bland"

I can't understand
What makes a man
Think he's better than
Good ol' Smedleyman
posted by Atom Eyes at 2:57 PM on May 8 [2 favorites has favorites]

"Jeez, turn down the DPI on that scanner. Five Hundred Gigs!?"

Every lead somehow included all of the Phish concerts ever, in FLAC.
posted by klangklangston at 5:40 PM on May 8 [1 favorite has favorites]