Awkward Family Photos

May 8, 2009 10:30 AM

Everyone has been in bad family photos, but sometimes a photo goes beyond bad and becomes awkward.
posted by WinnipegDragon (77 comments total)

I am never posting a photo on the internet again.
posted by GuyZero at 10:34 AM on May 8 [1 favorite has favorites]

This is one of the most bizarre things I have seen (NSFW?)
posted by TedW at 10:37 AM on May 8 [4 favorites has favorites]

I live for the Saturday paper wedding announcements in my town! The Sears Portrait Studio gone avant garde look is really popular these days.
posted by futureisunwritten at 10:38 AM on May 8

Some of these just come off as mean.

But then there's shit like this, which deserved to be mocked more derisively than the most Klingon-fluent nerd.
posted by hifiparasol at 10:38 AM on May 8

"Even the tree felt this one was awkward."
posted by anthropoid at 10:39 AM on May 8 [5 favorites has favorites]

I am never posting a photo on the internet again.
posted by GuyZero at 12:34 PM on May 8 [+] [!]

Why? Which one are you in?
posted by WinnipegDragon at 10:41 AM on May 8 [2 favorites has favorites]

*clears cache, reboots*
posted by Devils Rancher at 10:41 AM on May 8 [4 favorites has favorites]

Not so much awkward as some conflation of amateurish, damn peculiar and unsettling.
posted by ricochet biscuit at 10:43 AM on May 8

Why? Which one are you in?

None of them. But I have appeared in all of them. We took a family matching-sweater family photo in the woods (on leaves!) many, many years ago. It would fit onto this site far, far too easily.
posted by GuyZero at 10:44 AM on May 8 [1 favorite has favorites]

Who would've ever guessed that people wearing goddamn duct-tape evening gowns would look uncomfortable?
posted by box at 10:45 AM on May 8

Nah. This is poster and posted being , I believe the British word is "prat".
I'll feed you a cuttlefish, squawkers.
posted by Mblue at 10:45 AM on May 8

I'm not married and I've got no kids. Here's an awkward one of me with my son.
posted by gman at 10:46 AM on May 8 [18 favorites has favorites]

Oh goody! A place on the internet to make fun of people! I've been looking all over for one!
posted by The Whelk at 10:47 AM on May 8 [3 favorites has favorites]

More like Awesome Family Photos.
posted by Slarty Bartfast at 10:48 AM on May 8

"Prat" is spot on.
posted by tula at 10:50 AM on May 8

Wow, these are great. Added to daily does of photo hilarity; now I have 5.

1 - I can has? (and related, including Goggies, Failblog, etc.)
2 - Cakewrecks
3 - WTF Pictures
4 - This is Photobomb
5 - OP link. BEAUTY.

(Thank you, and you're welcome.)
posted by ZakDaddy at 10:52 AM on May 8 [46 favorites has favorites]

the commentary made me feel about as awkward as the photos did.
posted by fuzzypantalones at 10:52 AM on May 8

All the powers of the internet need to be focused on finding the backstory to the pink furry one. Its just too weird to go without explanation.
posted by no_moniker at 10:54 AM on May 8 [6 favorites has favorites]

Some of these just come off as mean.

They do. In some cases the problem isn't that the subjects are awkwardly posed, but that the subjects are unattractive.

That's not to say I didn't get more than a few laughs out of it. The mullet photo is hysterical.
posted by orange swan at 10:55 AM on May 8

ZakDaddy: Cakewrecks makes me laugh until tears roll on a regular basis. Just picturing the expressions on the faces of the people who open the cake boxes... This page in particular just made me wet my pants again while I was look at it after searching for the link.

I need dry pants
posted by hippybear at 10:59 AM on May 8 [4 favorites has favorites]

You know, I find these as mildly amusing as the next geek but I can't help thinking we're all laughing at the wrong thing. Many (though not all) of these were taken by "professional" photographers and studios who either didn't realize what they looked like or simply didn't care.
posted by tommasz at 11:00 AM on May 8

er, um... while I was looking at it
posted by hippybear at 11:05 AM on May 8

Comment on "the wonder years" post:
"I’m not sure which is more awkward; the daughter playing with her dad’s penis, or the fact that the wife has no interest in it at all."
posted by rageagainsttherobots at 11:06 AM on May 8 [1 favorite has favorites]

Golly, I hope I'm not the only one who thinks that the family in the furry nude suits seem totally cool. I bet they would be a hell of a lot of fun to hang out with.
posted by barrett caulk at 11:07 AM on May 8 [2 favorites has favorites]

Wow, these are great. Added to daily does of photo hilarity; now I have 5.

Here is your #6
posted by sswiller at 11:08 AM on May 8 [2 favorites has favorites]

backstory to the pink furry one.

I seem to remember that it was part of an art project by a german woman artist (?) ... I don't remember the whole story, but the photo has been around awhile.
posted by R. Mutt at 11:08 AM on May 8

WHAT THE FUCK?

I need to go have my soul washed now.
posted by Ratio at 11:15 AM on May 8 [1 favorite has favorites]

You owe me 45 seconds of my life back, WinnipegDragon
posted by briank at 11:15 AM on May 8 [1 favorite has favorites]

Immediately after taking this photo, this man had to be rushed to the nearest titty bar.

What? I don't even understand that one. It was a perfectly good and nice photograph, and I wouldn't be seriously ashamed to be in it. If anything it had a sense and structure of patriarchal power, but so? Half the family portraits do the 'dad is boss' thing, it's old-fashioned, but not a serious crime.

Lots of posed photographs look awkward, and you sometimes the sitters are not the prettiest, but a lot of these fotos are just really normal and fine.
posted by Sova at 11:15 AM on May 8

Oh, hey! My last AskMe question was about the furry nude suit family. Backstory within.
posted by ewagoner at 11:15 AM on May 8 [1 favorite has favorites]

Family photos have always been awkward, and this site isn't helping! Funny though.
posted by The Devil Tesla at 11:15 AM on May 8

Hate to be a wet blanket, but haven't we seen a bunch of these before, elsewhere? Isn't this just another content-stealing blog?
posted by jbickers at 11:17 AM on May 8

Anna Maltz: One Size Fits All -- the backstory on the pink furry.

"In Anna Maltz's new series One Size Fits All, families of various configurations don the same suits and pose for conventional portraits, to riotous effect. Julia, Sandra, Katie & Jazz, San Francisco make the case for the two-mommy family (though one gamely dons the daddy suit). Sarah, Peter, Ariel, Calypso, Lola & Arthur, London, are a glowing clan straight out of Rubens - or perhaps Darger, given that the little girls sport tiny penises. Maltz has also created a superman outfit and a mermaid suit, worn to great effect by her bemused subjects.

Whether Maltz is challenging traditional definitions of family and gender, exploring societal taboos or simply having a ball dressing up her friends, these images aptly convey both the tension and liberation of slipping into a costume to become someone new."
posted by katemonster at 11:17 AM on May 8 [4 favorites has favorites]

This one is awesome. For serious.
posted by mazola at 11:18 AM on May 8 [9 favorites has favorites]

Am I the only one who feels that holding a puppy directly next to your shirt that features a picture of the same puppy is just . . . somehow . . . inexplicably . . . not right?
posted by FelliniBlank at 11:18 AM on May 8 [1 favorite has favorites]

sswiller: Awesome. Thank you.
posted by ZakDaddy at 11:20 AM on May 8

I'm not married and I've got no kids. Here's an awkward one of me with my son.
posted by gman at 12:46 PM on May

Holy crap we have the same comforter. Bed in a bag FTW!
posted by WinnipegDragon at 11:23 AM on May 8 [1 favorite has favorites]

The picture of Bush's family is distressing for a reason I can't quite put my finger on.
posted by Caduceus at 11:23 AM on May 8 [1 favorite has favorites]

I don't know who you are or what you are, Winnipeg Dragon but I'd like to make sweet, sweet internet love to you.
posted by KevinSkomsvold at 11:24 AM on May 8

The Whelk: "Oh goody! A place on the internet to make fun of people! I've been looking all over for one!"

The place on the internet that stops war, cures cancer, world hunger is four clicks down. Only the cool people know that.
posted by KevinSkomsvold at 11:28 AM on May 8

""In fact, they're clad head to toe in hand-knitted mohair bodysuits, from which sprout gender-appropriate appendages and thick strands of body hair. Naked suits, if you will. Mom stares blankly ahead, her pillowy pink breasts askew, as her little girl reaches over to poke at dad's fuzzy knitted member. Father and brother look on, grinning. Somehow, perhaps because the suits are so goofy and the subjects so clearly delighted, this scenario manages not to be creepy."

I beg to differ.
posted by zarq at 11:31 AM on May 8 [8 favorites has favorites]

I don't know who you are or what you are, Winnipeg Dragon but I'd like to make sweet, sweet internet love to you.
posted by KevinSkomsvold at 1:24 PM on May 8

Well, I'm not gay, but I could learn.
posted by WinnipegDragon at 11:31 AM on May 8

Since cakewrecks came up, I thought I'd share this travesty that appeared without explanation in my old workplace's break room.

No, I didn't have any.
posted by workerant at 11:35 AM on May 8 [5 favorites has favorites]

You know, whenever I hear about those KKK types talk about defending white culture, I look at pictures like these (And to be fair, I am in a bunch myself) and I wonder why.
posted by Pogo_Fuzzybutt at 11:39 AM on May 8 [1 favorite has favorites]

Best part about this post: this is my family! I'm the "creeper on the [right] with his hand in the pocket of his overalls," as described by one of the commenters.

Awesome. Seriously. I think this is hilarious, for a few other reasons beyond the obvious: that very photo was used in an ad campaign a couple years back; and that's not even us at our most awkward!
posted by djwudi at 11:42 AM on May 8 [78 favorites has favorites]

Yeah, photoblogs are pretty cool. I also enjoy:

Sorry I Missed Your Party
English Russia
Masamania
What I'm Seeing

Metafilter has enough of these that it might make sense to assemble a list of good photoblogs, if this hasn't already been done.
posted by christhelongtimelurker at 11:43 AM on May 8 [7 favorites has favorites]

That genuinely is the best part about this post!
posted by Astro Zombie at 11:44 AM on May 8

djwudi: "I'm the "creeper on the [right] with his hand in the pocket of his overalls," as described by one of the commenters."

We could be twins. Seriously.
posted by KevinSkomsvold at 11:47 AM on May 8

This photoblog post courtesy of AstroZombie is my all-time MeFi fave.
posted by FelliniBlank at 11:50 AM on May 8 [6 favorites has favorites]

biiiiiiitch, pleeze!
posted by hermitosis at 11:54 AM on May 8 [1 favorite has favorites]

I like looking at the pictures and imagining the subject's religion, occupation and location but I keep kicking myself for being really prejudiced against truckers, accountants, piano teachers and people from Ohio.
posted by christhelongtimelurker at 11:57 AM on May 8 [1 favorite has favorites]

Rock and Roll Confidential was pretty good too although the Hall of Douchebags isn't updated anymore.
posted by christhelongtimelurker at 12:01 PM on May 8

Sorry I Missed Your Party is still my favorite, and I also like The Chosen, because these people are actually trying to get jobs as models.
posted by oneirodynia at 12:07 PM on May 8

I hate best of the web. Apart from this, which is great.
posted by MuffinMan at 12:23 PM on May 8

You keep using that word. I do not think it means what you think it means.
posted by bpm140 at 12:25 PM on May 8 [2 favorites has favorites]

Caduceus: "The picture of Bush's family is distressing for a reason I can't quite put my finger on."

This reminded me of this.
posted by Joe Beese at 12:32 PM on May 8 [2 favorites has favorites]

I'm honestly jealous of the people in these pictures. My family never took many photos, I don't know why. My mom was famous for having Christmas, our birthdays, Thanksgiving, and then the following Christmas all on the same roll of film.
posted by JoanArkham at 12:32 PM on May 8 [1 favorite has favorites]

From Sorry I Missed your Party:

Posted by party pooper at 9:28 AM 6 comments
Labels: sluts

Uh, no.
posted by arcticwoman at 12:35 PM on May 8

The naked furry suit picture would be better if the genders were reversed, so that the little boy (in girl-suit) was playing with his mom's furry peaner.
posted by LordSludge at 12:35 PM on May 8

This scratches the same itch the legendary Fat Chicks in Party Hats used to back in the web's Golden Era.
posted by squalor at 12:44 PM on May 8

I prefer to read snarky comments made about bad real estate listing photos.
posted by punkfloyd at 12:45 PM on May 8

djwudi: I can't favorite that hard enough. Thanks for the Friday afternoon guffaw.
posted by ZakDaddy at 12:46 PM on May 8

"This one is awesome. For serious."

I like that one, too. Whether it's true or not, the photo makes it look they're having fun.
posted by Kevin Street at 1:09 PM on May 8 [1 favorite has favorites]

...look like they're having fun.
posted by Kevin Street at 1:11 PM on May 8

Excuse me, um, God?

I know I don't ask for you very often, but if you in your Divine Wisdom could help me determine whether or not this family has an album out I would surely buy, preserve and protect that album and one day give it to my memoirist.

Sincerely yours,

L. Thespian
posted by Lipstick Thespian at 1:37 PM on May 8 [1 favorite has favorites]

L.Thespian --

More likely to have some bad yet curiously interesting porn.
posted by ricochet biscuit at 2:01 PM on May 8 [1 favorite has favorites]

Somehow I see them doing SCA reënactments
posted by sonic meat machine at 3:24 PM on May 8

Reminds me of the picture my sister and I took for my mom's birthday in January of this year. We wanted to reminder of a time when she still loved us.
posted by MiltonRandKalman at 4:25 PM on May 8 [9 favorites has favorites]

Speaking of awkward...

Awkward Boners
posted by k8t at 4:59 PM on May 8 [2 favorites has favorites]

I think it's worth mentioning that the bulk majority of these awkward photographs are the fault of the photographer, not the family. In a bloody good amount of the awkward photos, it would have been much better had the photographer either posed them in a slightly different way, or have cropped the photograph accordingly.

This being said, I still think that 80's hair family would have been much better served with someone to perhaps, I don't know, shave their heads.
posted by CountSpatula at 8:32 PM on May 8 [1 favorite has favorites]

Jesus Christ it's a tiger   GET IN THE CAR
posted by Zack_Replica at 10:08 PM on May 8 [1 favorite has favorites]

This reminded me of this. ~ Joe Beese

After viewing the first link, I knew exactly where you were going with that, sir. Awesome-town.

(Ah, the many benefits of an art education...)
posted by Kikkoman at 10:34 PM on May 8

I love it!
posted by seabel at 7:48 AM on May 10

djwudi: Best part about this post: this is my family! I'm the "creeper on the [right] with his hand in the pocket of his overalls," as described by one of the commenters.

Ha, it would seem as though your family picture is making friends with the Internet.
posted by dgaicun at 11:17 PM on May 10 [2 favorites has favorites]

That's truly disturbing (and funny), dgaicun. Where'd you find it?
posted by djwudi at 2:43 PM on May 11

LJ Images. (NSFW)
posted by dgaicun at 6:34 PM on May 11

Since cakewrecks came up, I thought I'd share this travesty that appeared without explanation in my old workplace's break room.

I love how everyone ate carefully around the photo, workerant. Especially given that office workers will eat anything that's been left in the lunch room.
posted by orange swan at 7:07 PM on May 11