Three Wolf Moon T-Shirt, Available in Various Sizes

May 19, 2009 2:08 PM

Three Wolf Moon T-Shirt, Available in Various Sizes
She told me she liked the wolves on my shirt, I told her I wanted to howl at her moon. She offered me a swig from her mountain dew, and I drove my scooter, with her shuffling along side out the door and into the rest of our lives. Thank you wolf shirt ... There is one thing, though, and that is that whenever I wear the wolf shirt I have a lot less issues with involuntary urination ... You are the wolf pack leader ... If you like it then you better put a wolf shirt on ... If you are planning on spending exactly $9.14 on yourself this year, this better be the purchase ... Unfortunately I already had this exact picture tattooed on my chest, but this shirt is very useful in colder weather.
posted by swift (64 comments total)

Fantastic. I love the "American Idiot" tag.

Rock this T with Zubaz Pants and you're ready for some Rex Kwon Do.
posted by porn in the woods at 2:14 PM on May 19, 2009

Based on the narrative, I expected a link to a Woot item. Comments on Amazon were just as worthwhile though. Thanks!
posted by adamms222 at 2:14 PM on May 19, 2009

That shirt would go nicely with some Tuscan Whole Milk and Uranium Ore.
posted by exogenous at 2:14 PM on May 19, 2009 [1 favorite]

This thing is the kind of thing I like.
posted by The Whelk at 2:15 PM on May 19, 2009

Laugh all you want, tell me when you get "Amazon.com Sales Rank: #1 in Apparel ".
posted by Artw at 2:15 PM on May 19, 2009

199 reviews? Wow.

For those of you who mock the wolf shirt beware. There is an old Navajo story about a young man who made fun of another man for wearing a wolf trio shirt. Legend has it that in his sleep, the wolves on the other man's shirt came to life and tore his body to shreds. They never found any part of that man's body. The Wolf is something to be respected and feared, not treated like a novelty.
I have owned this shirt for 2 weeks now and all my dreams have come true. I have become so much more confident. I moved from a single wide to a double wide trailer, I found a carton of Kool Menthol 100's laying in the ditch and I became a grand champion in Dungeons and Dragons. - Chris Murrell "sagltsaydbmf"
posted by filthy light thief at 2:17 PM on May 19, 2009 [1 favorite]

This shirt goes well with fetal alcohol syndrome.
posted by porn in the woods at 2:19 PM on May 19, 2009 [9 favorites]

Customers Who Viewed This Item Also Viewed: Joe the Plumber: Fighting for the American Dream

I'm not sure what to make of this.
posted by Joe Beese at 2:19 PM on May 19, 2009

Joe Beese, you missed the rest!

Customers Who Viewed This Item Also Viewed:
A Taint in the Blood: A Kate Shugak Novel by Dana Stabenow
Zubaz Pants
Joe the Plumber: Fighting for the American Dream by Samuel J. Wurzelbacher
How to Live with a Huge Penis: Advice, Meditations, and Wisdom for Men Who Have Too Much, by Richard Jacob
Nextime 11.8-Inch-by-11.8-Inch Insert Wall Clock
posted by filthy light thief at 2:21 PM on May 19, 2009

Replace the wolves with a tiger and put on some randomly placed rhinestones and you've got my mom's wardrobe from 1983-1995
posted by The Whelk at 2:22 PM on May 19, 2009

Three Wolf Moon T-Shirt Like Me!
posted by adipocere at 2:22 PM on May 19, 2009 [1 favorite]

Apparently, the manufacturer's noticed the shenanigans.

Via the TBTL radio show.
posted by mhum at 2:23 PM on May 19, 2009 [5 favorites]

That is so over with already. If you want to get ahead of the curve, it's gonna be the Little Mermaid t-shirt
posted by poppo at 2:23 PM on May 19, 2009

Also, previously.
posted by mhum at 2:25 PM on May 19, 2009

mhum: "Also, previously."

This one's the original, the Amazon shirt is a cheap, yet awesome, knockoff.
posted by mullingitover at 2:27 PM on May 19, 2009

True story: I bought this shirt for my cousin. He's about 14 but his mom said that he was "really into ferocious animals" When I gave it to him for Christmas he was wearing a similar shirt with either a leopard or a jaguar on it and like a design like the the shirt had been clawed up. I thought I was totally in but when he opened it and looked sort of disappointed. It was a big family Christmas thing so he waited until after everyone had opened their presents and the kids go around to everyone and thank them for their presents so that they don't have to write a thank you note. He came up to me and said "Thanks for the shirt but I'm only into predatory cats now." Kids these days.
posted by I Foody at 2:27 PM on May 19, 2009 [44 favorites]

Can I subscribe to these, or otherwise find out when the snarky masses descend on random Amazon products?
posted by not_on_display at 2:28 PM on May 19, 2009 [1 favorite]

I was busy checking out the "Customers who viewed this item also viewed" section, but soon exhausted that source of mirth and moved on to the similar stuff on external sites section. Since it seemed the criteria for "similar" was pretty damn broad, i.e. anything you put upon your own body seems to be the overarching theme, half the fun was coming up with why some items were listed. Then I saw this little item here and soon my head filled with all kinds of possible connections. I began asking myself questions like, "Would someone willing to buy a wolf shirt, also find themselves willing to buy a 'Native American Indian Boy Wig'?" and all the questions branching off from that such as "but why?" and imagining situations that might call for hyper ironic nostalgia costumage. Like a Napoleon Dynamite party, where everyone shows up in their best awkward middle/high school garb from the late 80s and early 90s. Then I reailzed, "Hey, now, that little boy looks like an extra in MGMT's 'Electric Feel' video." Then I realized MGMT, and a large majority of people who listen to MGMT would totally wear a wolf shirt ironically, and hold ironic fake "awkward middle/high school" dance parties and everything made sense.
posted by kkokkodalk at 2:29 PM on May 19, 2009 [4 favorites]

Kill before it spreads - who let this survive?
posted by Sparx at 2:29 PM on May 19, 2009

kkokkodalk: When everything made sense, that's the best indication that it is all going so terribly, terribly wrong.
posted by Sparx at 2:33 PM on May 19, 2009 [1 favorite]

Customers who viewed this also viewed How to Live with a Huge Penis: Advice, Meditations, and Wisdom for Men Who Have Too Much:

...full of compassionate advice for men afflicted with Oversized Male Genitalia (OMG).Far too often, these men are banished to the fringes of society, victims of their own freakish length and girth. But Dr. Richard Jacob and Rev. Owen Thomas are here with a message of tolerance and hope, along with hilarious advice on 'coming out' to your family, sharing your assets with a partner, and avoiding injury in the workplace.

posted by rodgerd at 2:34 PM on May 19, 2009 [1 favorite]

LOLUNDERPRIVILEGED AMIRITE?
posted by leotrotsky at 2:34 PM on May 19, 2009

Yeah, I have to agree with the manufacturer that a lot of that humor is just smug classism disguised as humor. HURFDURF WALMART SHOPPER and all that.
posted by Bookhouse at 2:39 PM on May 19, 2009 [9 favorites]

This is an old meme. Like, five years old.
posted by P.o.B. at 2:43 PM on May 19, 2009

I read this, which led me to another gold mine of great reviews.

LOLUNDERPRIVILEGED AMIRITE?

Bad taste does not discriminate.
posted by absalom at 2:45 PM on May 19, 2009

Metafilter: Do you know how huge your balls have to be to wear one of our shirts.
posted by The White Hat at 2:50 PM on May 19, 2009 [2 favorites]

From the rather detailed reply from the manufacturer:
-------------------------

The Mountain says:
Jackie, thanks for the 5 Stars but we are a bit offended by your response. It seems you want to change your husband into something he's not. Do you know how huge your balls have to be to wear one of our shirts. These are the shirts of legend. Who are you to judge your man's virility? We suppose that you have had him neutered as well, which is probably why he felt the need to wear a wolf shirt in the first place. No one neuters the wolf without losing a hand.

We are very concerned for your well being and your negative feelings about your fellow man in the trailer. It seems you may be a Classist which is a very ugly trait for any human. Not everyone has the ability to wear Louis Vuitton. One of our favorite moments in the last few years was when Martin Margiela stole one of our shirt designs and repurposed it for his $1300-3000 per item line. Who's slumming now?

Best Wishes to your Husband.
Please let him know if he ever feels the need to get back to his roots that we'll be here for him.

The Mountain
-------------------------

The company is a bit odd in many ways. I rather like that they refer to themselves as The Mountain, in third person. Sadly, The Mountain does not abide, but does stand up for those who really, honestly, like the wild animal/Native American kitsch.
posted by filthy light thief at 2:57 PM on May 19, 2009 [2 favorites]

Metafilter: Do you know how huge your balls have to be to wear one of our shirts.

Are you saying wearing a Metafilter shirt in public requires gumption? Or that the Three Wolves shirt will be the official Meta shirt from now on? If the latter, it would make meeting other MeFites at Meetups easier, and possibly more confusing for the general public.
posted by filthy light thief at 3:00 PM on May 19, 2009

Yeah, I have to agree with the manufacturer that a lot of that humor is just smug classism disguised as humor. HURFDURF WALMART SHOPPER and all that.

Are you shitting me? I'm pretty poor at this point, and I'd never be seen in that shirt. Even at $1300 it's still a crappy shirt.
posted by Rock Steady at 3:05 PM on May 19, 2009 [1 favorite]

Does ridicule fill the gnawing emptiness in your belly?
posted by 0xdeadc0de at 3:09 PM on May 19, 2009 [1 favorite]

This seems like the perfect gift for a site owner on their 10th anniversary.
posted by srboisvert at 3:10 PM on May 19, 2009 [2 favorites]

Yeah, I have to agree with the manufacturer that a lot of that humor is just smug classism disguised as humor. HURFDURF WALMART SHOPPER and all that.

Are you shitting me? I'm pretty poor at this point, and I'd never be seen in that shirt. Even at $1300 it's still a crappy shirt.

Class is not solely a function of income.
posted by Bookhouse at 3:11 PM on May 19, 2009

0xdeadc0de - I wonder if it was intentional that the wsj article reads just like an Onion piece?
posted by Artw at 3:12 PM on May 19, 2009

On the UK side you have a 20" Paul Ross print and a bic pen.

"My wife said she wanted "20 inches of pure pleasure" for Christmas. This gift ticks all the boxes."
posted by Edame at 3:19 PM on May 19, 2009

I think there should be a rule that anyone wearing one of these to a meetup gets a free drink.
posted by Kadin2048 at 3:20 PM on May 19, 2009 [1 favorite]

Kadin2048: You bastard. I don't see how I can avoid wearing one to the meetup now. Social ostracism from my Internet friends, here I come!
posted by ODiV at 3:34 PM on May 19, 2009

Wolf shirts have, of course, been co-opted by hipsters. The singer for Bloc Party was wearing one when I saw them, and it wasn't even this one. I've spotted them out in public as well.
posted by gngstrMNKY at 3:39 PM on May 19, 2009

Needs more butte.


Ah..that's better.
posted by MiltonRandKalman at 3:42 PM on May 19, 2009 [1 favorite]

Kadin2048: "I think there should be a rule that anyone wearing one of these to a meetup gets a free drink."

I don't think it's necessary to make it an explicit rule, whenever I wear this shirt the free drinks just seem to find me.
posted by mullingitover at 3:52 PM on May 19, 2009

"I think there should be a rule that anyone wearing one of these to a meetup gets free drinks for the entire evening."
posted by ericb at 4:14 PM on May 19, 2009

A rather good JTP (joe the plumber) review from the above link.

--
Perhaps I have sensitive tenders, but this paper is too rough for general use. Maybe in the Army, but as a civilian I expect softness, easy separation and convenient storage (on a roll).
posted by a womble is an active kind of sloth at 4:48 PM on May 19, 2009 [7 favorites]

Wolf shirts have, of course, been co-opted by hipsters. The singer for Bloc Party was wearing one when I saw them, and it wasn't even this one. I've spotted them out in public as well.

All too true. Bloc Party might be an apt poster-band for mainstream hipsters, and I think I've seen some hipsters on the college campus wearing such shirts around. Neither are carrying the level of snark or irony they once were.
posted by filthy light thief at 4:50 PM on May 19, 2009

Class is not solely a function of income.

And culture is not solely a function of class. But clearly the wearers of this shirt were born that way.
posted by aaronetc at 5:07 PM on May 19, 2009

Last summer I went down to Rush Limbaugh's hometown to shoot a pro wrestling show that was being held at a comic book convention. The table next to the entrance had a huge display of wolfshirts, about ten feet high and fifteen wide and a great 50% off graphic novels box
posted by jtron at 5:09 PM on May 19, 2009

"Last summer I went down to Rush Limbaugh's hometown to shoot a pro wrestling show that was being held at a comic book convention."

What is this, a letter to Penthouse Forum?
posted by kenlayne at 5:14 PM on May 19, 2009 [3 favorites]

Class has nothing to do with taste.
posted by thivaia at 5:22 PM on May 19, 2009 [2 favorites]

men afflicted with Oversized Male Genitalia (OMG)

I'm going to go with "Most Apt Acronyms Ever" for $1000, Alex.
posted by middleclasstool at 6:01 PM on May 19, 2009 [8 favorites]

I'm not afraid to admit I would've loved this shirt at 13.
posted by GeekAnimator at 6:16 PM on May 19, 2009

Whatever happened to Penthouse Forum?

*google google google*

Excuse me...
posted by From Bklyn at 6:45 PM on May 19, 2009

I used to write for them, From Bklyn. They paid really well, too.

Sorry if I have disillusioned you. Here: Of course, all those stories are true! Really!
posted by misha at 7:08 PM on May 19, 2009

Ran into this recently:

Mastering Time Travel: Voyages Through Time. Product description and reviews are worth a look.
posted by gwint at 8:00 PM on May 19, 2009 [1 favorite]

I like the ad at the bottom of the "How To Live With A Huge Penis" page: "Cut Wood Down to Size -- Split wood with ease using a log splitter from the Outdoor Power & Lawn Equipment Store." Ouchies.
posted by selfmedicating at 8:45 PM on May 19, 2009 [1 favorite]

It's a jungle out there a sexualjungle.
posted by pianomover at 9:23 PM on May 19, 2009

Hot shot city is particularly good.
posted by BrodieShadeTree at 9:49 PM on May 19, 2009

am I allowed to wear it if im not a hipster but just really like wolves a lot?
posted by Sprocket at 9:54 PM on May 19, 2009

This poem is really something.
posted by teraflop at 10:39 PM on May 19, 2009

Are you shitting me? I'm pretty poor at this point, and I'd never be seen in that shirt.

I think it's the fact that most of the ironic reviews referred to the owner's trailer home, Walmart, etc. The reviews were funny at first, but that recurring theme made it turn sour for me.
posted by Edgewise at 10:41 PM on May 19, 2009

Damn it, you guys. Now amazon's front page seems to think I want to look at more wolf shirts. I'll never get that out of my search history.
posted by sugarfish at 11:08 PM on May 19, 2009 [1 favorite]

Years ago there was a game of doing funny reviews on Family Circus books. There's still a few here. But, as I recall, Amazon would periodically delete them all.
posted by Mid at 12:08 AM on May 20, 2009

teraflop: This poem is really something.

Yeah, it's something, all right. I clicked that and then absent-mindedly waited about sixty seconds for the CSS to resolve on the page and for whatever image was pushing all the text to the side to load before realizing…that was just poetry.
posted by koeselitz at 12:10 AM on May 20, 2009

I liked this better the first time I saw it.
posted by allkindsoftime at 2:08 AM on May 20, 2009

Customers Who Viewed This Item Also Viewed JL421 Badonkadonk Land Cruiser/Tank. A steal at $19,999.95.

Also interesting (from the same seller) is the book Bhutan: A Visual Odyssey Across the Last Himalayan Kingdom. A bit expensive at $30,000, but it measures "5 x 7 feet when opened" and "portraits of people are life-size or bigger."
posted by itstheclamsname at 5:01 AM on May 20, 2009

Hm. Looks like the Mountain came to Amazon after all.
posted by Bromius at 5:40 AM on May 20, 2009

Now on the BBC: "Sales of the kitsch Three Wolf Moon T-shirt shot up 2,300% after a spate of ironic reviews went viral.

This is your fault, internets.
posted by imperium at 6:59 AM on May 21, 2009 [2 favorites]