Jeff Macke explains all

May 21, 2009 11:41 PM

Jeff MackeJeff Macke clears up any confusion you may have had about the markets.
posted by kingzog (43 comments total)

Whiskey Tango Foxtrot. Repeat, Whiskey Tango Foxtrot. Over.
posted by signalnine at 12:09 AM on May 22 [1 favorite]

White guy in the financial business gets too into coke. Shocking.
posted by Item at 12:16 AM on May 22 [1 favorite]

Failed the stress test.
posted by quadog at 12:33 AM on May 22 [5 favorites]

CWAA
posted by weapons-grade pandemonium at 12:34 AM on May 22

Yeah try as I might I can't extract any meaningful signal from this. It doesn't work as a contrarian Krugman/Roubini/Taleb kind of thing; what it really works as is a "my TV is talking to me telepathically" schizophrenic rant.
posted by scalefree at 12:35 AM on May 22

90% of me understands what he's saying. 10% of me worries that he's had some kind of psychotic break.
posted by seanyboy at 12:38 AM on May 22

Someone must truck meth and coke into CNBC by the metric ton. Ride the snake!
posted by Blazecock Pileon at 12:57 AM on May 22

I wasn't sure what I was in for when I clicked on the link. 50 seconds in, I was confused -- wait, is this just going to be talking heads, discussing an aspect of the economy? Why is this worthwhile? Wow, maybe I should just -- WHOA! What did he say? Holy fantasticness, Batman!

I'm thinking you're smart enough to get this joke at this point 34 minutes into the show that you've gone crazy. Not.
posted by incessant at 1:11 AM on May 22

Seanyboy please explain the 90% you understand. I watched that and thought he was having a major melt down.
posted by ill3 at 1:12 AM on May 22

Or even the 90% of you that understands :)
posted by ill3 at 1:13 AM on May 22

Seanyboy: seek 90% professional help. Now.
posted by pompomtom at 1:14 AM on May 22 [2 favorites]

Apparently, Jeff's contract is under negotiation, and he isn't getting what he wants. Hence the petulant child act on air. I want a pony! I'm not moving till I see a pony!

So 90% of me is sure he isn't getting his own show. The other 10% remembers the lead-in to the question involved hearsay from the CNBC producer, and is hoping the whole network explodes.
posted by pwnguin at 1:16 AM on May 22

wait, was it the cocaine making that man crazy, or all those swooshing golden peacocks?
posted by sexyrobot at 1:22 AM on May 22

I don't think it was crazy as much as it was we're are all in on a joke and he wanted to be an asshole.
posted by P.o.B. at 1:30 AM on May 22

I'm at work watching this without sound...the Verve, you were wrong: the drugs do work.
posted by Glee at 1:40 AM on May 22

Cocaine is a helluva drug.
posted by PenDevil at 1:47 AM on May 22

It's almost sort of nice to see someone say on air that they've got no idea what the markets are doing and that the media's reliance on uninformed and biased commentators is a joke in the face of reporting. Or at least that's what I think he said. I was a bit sketchy on parts. Took me a minute to realize "car people" mean auto industry reps. Really it was all hard to make out between the slightly crazed giggling and him stringing together random figures of speech into something that only nearly approximated human communication. Yep, think I'm going to have to vote "really super enigmatic" on this one Jeff.
posted by CheshireCat at 2:09 AM on May 22

Psychosis. Drugs entirely optional.
posted by fcummins at 2:26 AM on May 22 [1 favorite]

Is there a transcript? Maybe this man was crafting his personal televisual 'Finnegan's Wake' and all we need is footnotes. Lots of footnotes.
posted by NekulturnY at 2:34 AM on May 22 [2 favorites]

That reminded me of classic Doonesbury for some reason.
posted by YoBananaBoy at 2:34 AM on May 22 [1 favorite]

Nads if you're with me.

I didn't actually hear this but it makes more sense.
posted by srboisvert at 3:36 AM on May 22

what
posted by Happy Dave at 3:50 AM on May 22

Macke is a giant babyhead bag of dicks. Fast Money rots your brain. I'm out.
posted by nj_subgenius at 3:51 AM on May 22

He's right, you know.
posted by JohnnyGunn at 4:03 AM on May 22

It did work as a piece of performance art, making the other talking heads look like bewildered idiots mouthing another kind meaningless inanity. He really knocked the foundations out from under the whole enterprise, intentionally or not making you aware of the ridiculous swooping gold peacocks (mentioned above),the churning gold background, and other video busyness happening onscreen to distract us from utter vapidity of the whole broadcast. Good for him -- although I'm sure his wife will thank him when he gets home because he'll probably never get another job after this delightful performance.
posted by Faze at 4:21 AM on May 22

Dunno if Macke tends to get a long way out there and this was going further than normal, but my first thought was that the host did real well to maintain composure.
posted by ambient2 at 4:30 AM on May 22

That was fantastic on so many levels. He looks like he's got bugs trying to escape from his skull. I like how he referred to the car guys "tweaking," "going off the rails," and "on the bus to crazytown." Talk about projection!

It did work as a piece of performance art, making the other talking heads look like bewildered idiots mouthing another kind meaningless inanity.

Absolutely! The guy who followed him seemed more sane, but you would be just as well off listening to Macke instead of him. They're all just making shit up.

Macke was clearly having a drug-induced meltdown, but I grok what he was trying to say. He was trying to say that the whole thing is a fucked up charade. He's right about that.
posted by diogenes at 5:11 AM on May 22

Heh, "Wouldn't we all love to see a heart attack coming from miles away."
posted by punkfloyd at 5:17 AM on May 22 [2 favorites]

Yup, he's fried. But he's right.
posted by spirit72 at 6:26 AM on May 22

What did people blame that sort of behavior on before street drugs were easy to get?
posted by ardgedee at 7:16 AM on May 22

Witches.
posted by dirigibleman at 7:29 AM on May 22

"We can't stop here; this is bat SWOOPING GOLD PEACOCK country."
posted by obloquy at 8:34 AM on May 22

Can someone transcribe that for me? I'm at work and can't listen at full volume :(
posted by empath at 8:49 AM on May 22

Brief Transcript and YouTube link (if the CNBC video doesn't work for you - USA only?).
posted by grahamwell at 9:10 AM on May 22

For the whole morning, every time he blinked his eyes, he saw a cat wearing shirt hovering ominously over a keyboard.
posted by Free word order! at 9:31 AM on May 22

CONFIRMED: Jeff Macke Is Finished At CNBC
I can dare to dream.
posted by nj_subgenius at 12:35 PM on May 22

It reminded me of the Billy Bob Thornton clip. He's really mad about something, he wants to tell you why all his rage is justified, but of course, doesn't want to appear petty by telling you what it is he's actually mad about.
posted by klarck at 2:18 PM on May 22 [1 favorite]

This is your brain. This is your brain on CNBC. /holds up skillet with eggs and bacon
posted by Blazecock Pileon at 3:39 PM on May 22

What did people blame that sort of behavior on before street drugs were easy to get?
When were street drugs not easy to get?
posted by P.o.B. at 5:01 PM on May 22

Yup, he's fried. But he's right.
posted by spirit72 at 9:26 AM

My first thought.

No one who followed him made any more sense. They just made a more soothing nonsense.
posted by regicide is good for you at 10:35 PM on May 22 [1 favorite]

I'm calling bottom.
posted by mazola at 11:01 PM on May 22

fnord
posted by slickvaguely at 12:14 AM on May 23

He might be a little.. caffeinated.

However.. What I think is going on here: the host was asking a completely absurd and overcomplicated question, founded on pointless speculation, and wanting an answer that shouldn't be taken seriously by anyone no matter what it was.

Hence Macke's reply, which IMHO is saying: I am going to talk to you in plain English (FAIL, but he's trying). That question is stupid, and the people who said that don't know what they're talking about. I hope you actually know your question is a joke, but if you don't, I'm trying to tell you. This kind of BS passed off as serious analysis is part of the problem.

I'm fascinated by this clip because these two guys are speaking completely different languages.
posted by citron at 11:10 AM on May 23