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The Quotable Tracy Jordan
May 22, 2009 3:16 PM Subscribe

“This is better than a family. No one around here asks me for my damn bone marrow.” Everything Tracy Jordan said in season 3 of 30 Rock. (Via A Special Thing.)
posted by The Deej (84 comments total) 20 users marked this as a favorite

Head of the inevitable: yes, this is something you would need to 1) have a TV, 2) watch 30 Rock, and 3) occasionally view other elements of pop (US) culture to understand. Otherwise, it sounds like a nonsensical one-sided conversation.
posted by filthy light thief at 3:21 PM on May 22

He;s not on crack, he's straight up mentally ill.
posted by Artw at 3:24 PM on May 22 [2 favorites]

I hear his voice and inflections perfectly as I read this. I suppose that is a compliment to either the production, actor or writers. Or all three!
posted by BrodieShadeTree at 3:26 PM on May 22 [3 favorites]

Who cares?

Or rather, WHY should I care?

What filfthy light thief said.
posted by Malice at 3:27 PM on May 22

Filthy*. Unless you want the extra F, that's okay too.

Everything's better with an extra F.
posted by Malice at 3:28 PM on May 22

So, is Tracy Morgan like that, or is he playing a character? He has the same inflection and speech cadence when he hosted SNL and Scare Tactics a while back... I can't tell if he's playing a character or not.
posted by heathkit at 3:28 PM on May 22 [1 favorite]

“Someone put too many farts in this engine, it’s about to explode.”

I would watch TGS religiously if it were a real show.
posted by Science! at 3:28 PM on May 22 [3 favorites]

“I went out with the interns. Those white boys are not kidding around. Have you ever tasted scotch? It’s terrible! And this thing they call ‘box seats at the Ranger’s game,’ it’s so cold. And what is Rohyphnal?”

Oh man, I loved that one.
posted by ThePinkSuperhero at 3:29 PM on May 22 [4 favorites]

Or rather, WHY should I care?

Do you care about every single other MeFi post? Or do you post "who cares?" in every one you don't care about?
posted by The World Famous at 3:30 PM on May 22 [16 favorites]

“I watched Boston Legal 9 times before I realized it wasn’t a new Star Trek.”

Awesome.
posted by mullacc at 3:31 PM on May 22 [2 favorites]

Tracy Morgan has always been crazy. He was the only good thing about Martin. And he gets an extra gold star for telling Jimmy Fallon not to pull his Harvey Corman forced "stifling laughter" routine in any SNL sketch the two of them appeared in together.
posted by Marisa Stole the Precious Thing at 3:32 PM on May 22

I love 30 Rock, think the show is fantastic and awesome. That is, until the inevitable Tracy Jordan B-story. Then the show grinds to a stupid, foolish, overacted halt, broken only occasionally by some winning performance from Jenna or Kenneth. Then we cut back to Jack and Liz Lemon being clever and hysterical and subtle and perfectly timed, and I wonder why the fuck is that horrible Tracy Jordan on the show with the terrible writing? Then I remember, oh yeah, it's to make Alec Baldwin and Tina Fey look all the funnier by comparison.
posted by Nelson at 3:32 PM on May 22 [1 favorite]

Everything's better with an extra F.

But it can make thifngs hardf to fsay.
posted by filthy light thief at 3:33 PM on May 22 [1 favorite]

I've always wondered: what's up with Tracy Morgan's voice? I've never heard anyone who sounds like that. When I first saw him on SNL years ago I thought he might be Jamacan or from the Caribbean somewhere. But Wikipedia say's he's from Brooklyn.

Does he have some kind of speech impediment or something?
posted by delmoi at 3:34 PM on May 22 [1 favorite]

Perhaps you can use the extra "f" to change "Head of the inevitable" to "Head off the inevitable"
posted by mrnutty at 3:35 PM on May 22 [3 favorites]

I’m saying the Disneyfication of New York is over, everyone. At the stroke of midnight, your Lexus is going to turn back into a hot pile of rats fighting over a human finger.

Thanks. This is great..(...ish. To be great, I think she or he could have pruned out some of the obvious filler lines and just left the surreal zingers.)
Somebody should do this for Jack Donaghy too:

Liz, there's no reason why somebody can't work in the adult entertainment industry and also be a kind, loving MILF

How I love 30 Rock - it's one of the two funniest shows of the last few years.
The other is UK Channel 4's Peep Show. Download it. You will love it too.
posted by Flashman at 3:38 PM on May 22 [5 favorites]

I hear his voice and inflections perfectly as I read this.

And I'm hearing all the comments in this thread as though read by Tracy Jordan.
posted by borkencode at 3:49 PM on May 22 [1 favorite]

And I'm hearing all the comments in this thread as though read by Tracy Jordan.

And how! I'm also considering rethinking several of our regular poster's voices to be read this way, too!
posted by cavalier at 3:57 PM on May 22

I'm hearing all the comments in this thread as though read by Tracy Ullman.
posted by unSane at 3:59 PM on May 22

Looks like I have a new fortune file. Thanks!
posted by zerokey at 4:01 PM on May 22

Metafilter: "What is this, Horseville? Cuz I am surrounded by naysayers. Wordplay!”
posted by Frank Grimes at 4:03 PM on May 22 [12 favorites]

While I watch 30 Rock and laugh myself stupid with Tracy's time onscreen, I have to admit a little worry that slowly, inevitably, he'll get more and more facetime until the entire show becomes about him. The good writers will jump ship, there will be an episode where Jack is revealed to be an impostor named Tamzarian, and then after 20 years of what is essentially now The Tracy Jordan Show, they'll make a movie.
posted by barnacles at 4:06 PM on May 22 [4 favorites]

Do you care about every single other MeFi post? Or do you post "who cares?" in every one you don't care about?
posted by The World Famous at 3:30 PM on May 22

No, just the ones that appear to make no sense.

To me, it just looks like a bunch of quotes. Not even notable quotes, just things that were said by some TV character.

But, it's probably as Filthy (Fiffthtffly!) said, "this is something you would need to 1) have a TV, 2) watch 30 Rock, and 3) occasionally view other elements of pop (US) culture to understand. Otherwise, it sounds like a nonsensical one-sided conversation."

Hence the second question - WHY should I care? What is it about this post that makes it worth posting? I am sure there is some reason it's here, but I'm not sure why.
posted by Malice at 4:06 PM on May 22

That is solid.
posted by Science! at 4:07 PM on May 22

I love 30 Rock, think the show is fantastic and awesome. That is, until the inevitable Tracy Jordan B-story. Then the show grinds to a stupid, foolish, overacted halt, broken only occasionally by some winning performance from Jenna or Kenneth.

Yeah, "overacting", because Jane Krakowski and Jack McBrayer are totally not chewing up the scenery every time they're on camera. Different strokes for different folks, I guess - I could do with 75% less Kenneth and way more Tracy Jordan. At least his "overacting" is a deliberate pastiche; I'm never sure if Jane Krakowski is so ridiculous on purpose or not. Especially since she's playing exactly the same character she did in Ally McBeal (which, at the very least, is no better than Tracy Morgan recycling his SNL persona).
posted by rkent at 4:08 PM on May 22 [2 favorites]

> I have to admit a little worry that slowly, inevitably, he'll get more and more facetime until the entire show becomes about him

At which point it will basically be live action Invader Zim, which is alright by me

Really! Tracy Jordan is Grr!
posted by zerokey at 4:12 PM on May 22 [2 favorites]

I am sure there is some reason it's here, but I'm not sure why.

Specifically to piss you off.
posted by The Deej at 4:14 PM on May 22 [5 favorites]

This post could have been a single link to a page that contained nothing but the quote "A Blaffair to Rememblack" and it would have been worthy of the front page.
posted by aldurtregi at 4:25 PM on May 22 [3 favorites]

WHY should I care? What is it about this post that makes it worth posting? I am sure there is some reason it's here, but I'm not sure why.

Maybe the fact that everyone else in the thread is enjoying discussing it should be some sort of signal for you.
posted by Bookhouse at 4:32 PM on May 22 [11 favorites]

I have to admit a little worry that slowly, inevitably, he'll get more and more facetime until the entire show becomes about him. T

OMG - just like what happened to the fictional The Girly ShowTGSWith TRACEY JORDAN.

Tina Few is the queen of meta.
posted by Sparx at 4:37 PM on May 22 [1 favorite]

Hence the second question - WHY should I care? What is it about this post that makes it worth posting? I am sure there is some reason it's here, but I'm not sure why.
posted by Malice at 7:06 PM on May 22 [+] [!]

Eponytedious.
posted by Sys Rq at 4:39 PM on May 22 [9 favorites]

Fey, goddammit it - my kingdom for an editing pony
posted by Sparx at 4:39 PM on May 22

Fey, goddammit it - my kingdom for an editing pony

Wait...what episode was that from?
posted by mullacc at 4:52 PM on May 22 [1 favorite]

At which point it will basically be live action Invader Zim, which is alright by me

You are brilliant!
posted by Ms. Saint at 5:01 PM on May 22

Hence the second question - WHY should I care? What is it about this post that makes it worth posting? I am sure there is some reason it's here, but I'm not sure why.

Well, here's something that I KNOW you're going to care about. Better pucker up all functioning sphincters now and be sure your hat is firmly secure on your head. Ready? Alright then.

Earlier this morning, Sun Television, the broadcasting station in Japan's Hyōgo Prefecture, aired the first episode in the long-awaited second season of The Melancholy of Haruhi Suzumiya. No, that is not a typo. Haruhi is back, and otaku all over the world eagerly await the subbing and torrenting of this episode, as I'm sure you do, too. Until then, let's dance in celebration!!!
posted by Marisa Stole the Precious Thing at 5:03 PM on May 22

This awesome FPP is rendered poignant by this week's news that 30 rock is not coming back in the fall (it may or may not come back later on).

So to cheer myself up:

"I believe that the moon does not exist. I believe that vampires are the world's greatest golfers but their curse is they never get a chance to prove it. I believe that there are 31 letters in the white alphabet."

Also, related:

Warewolf bar mitzvah
Spooky! Scary!
Boys becoming men
Men becoming wolves
posted by lunasol at 5:04 PM on May 22 [5 favorites]

Hence the second question - WHY should I care? What is it about this post that makes it worth posting?

I'm Nthing annoying you as a perfectly valid reason.
posted by Artw at 5:05 PM on May 22

30 rock is not coming back

What the what?

(also: Twist!)

But seriously, what?

Listen, if there's some way we can get Dollhouse canceled to appease the gods of television and bring this back, we really need to do it.
posted by Artw at 5:08 PM on May 22 [3 favorites]

I know, Artw, I'm in denial, myself. F$%&ing Parks and Recreation is coming back but not 30 Rock? Now we have to hope Community (the show taking 30 Rock's place) will fail.

NBC just sucks.
posted by lunasol at 5:16 PM on May 22

I love pointing out this which was linked in the comments.
posted by mkb at 5:38 PM on May 22

I have to admit that "Werewolf Bar Mitzvah" ticks me off a tiny bit. Clearly, the lines

Werewolf bar mitzvah
Spooky! Scary!
Boys becoming men
Men becoming wolves

should instead go

Werewolf bar mitzvah
Spooky! Scary!
Boys becoming men
Men becoming hairy

posted by Elsa at 5:53 PM on May 22 [5 favorites]

I couldn't stand his character until I learned that he's on a plethora of meds. (Umm...the character. Not sure about the real life Tracy Jordan.) Somehow, that changed everything, and I can't imagine the show without him.
posted by malocchio at 5:57 PM on May 22

This awesome FPP is rendered poignant by this week's news that 30 rock is not coming back in the fall (it may or may not come back later on).

I really don't think you are reading that right. Like there is zero chance there won't be a next season. It's one of the most watched shows on the least watched network. So it's poignant only in the the way that it's poignant that Lost or Chuck is also delayed: not at all.
posted by smackfu at 5:59 PM on May 22 [2 favorites]

It is coming back after the SNL Thursday Weekend Updates finish their run.
posted by arruns at 6:16 PM on May 22

mkb - wtf was that? I read the whole thing and can't decide whether to shit or puke.
posted by zerokey at 6:33 PM on May 22

Tracy Jordan is important, and it's even important that he's annoying and getting in the way of the rest of the show, because, yeah, that's pretty much the whole meta joke itself.

But damn, I still wish they'd cut his lines back so that he doesn't have to mangle his way through reading them so badly sometimes. Keep the funny but please, stop giving him exposition. It makes me cringe. Let Grizz and Dotcom explain the backstory. It's funnier that way anyway, especially when they know his history better than he does.
posted by rokusan at 6:34 PM on May 22

I can't tell if he's playing a character or not.

In case anyone hasn't seen it: Tracy Morgan on live local morning TV.
posted by Stylus Happenstance at 6:46 PM on May 22 [1 favorite]

Umm...the character. Not sure about the real life Tracy Jordan.

The difference is shrinking.
posted by rokusan at 6:47 PM on May 22

I just realized how much Tracy Jordan sounds like FBI Regional Bureau Chief Gordon Cole. "Cooper, you remind me today of a small Mexican chi-wow-wow."
posted by Guy Smiley at 6:55 PM on May 22 [2 favorites]

In case anyone hasn't seen it: Tracy Morgan on live local morning TV.

Great stuff! Hadn't seen the video, but here's a similar audio appearance from a sports talk radio show where he goes on for almost 20 minutes about Star Wars, Smurfs, Aquaman, etc.
posted by p3t3 at 7:02 PM on May 22 [1 favorite]

“No it wasn’t. I struggled through that sentence."

was one of my favorites.

I could do with 75% less Kenneth

I'd love to see more time given to Donaghey's statement that in five years, Kenneth could be running the show. Like, "Is it...the eight of diamonds?" "Nnnnnope." The idea of Kenneth Parcell as a benign demigod keeping NBC running through his naive love of television is beautiful to me.
posted by A dead Quaker at 7:17 PM on May 22 [2 favorites]

I have never watched 30 Rock because of its connection to "Saturday Night Live." It's irrelevant whether the show is decent on its present merits-- you shouldn't watch it because 30's Rock's associations make it the Kurt Waldheim of sitcoms.

...and if your hands were METAL, that would MEAN something.
/mst3k

Seriously, if you're not watching 30 Rock because...it's pretty much a giant, weekly reminder that SNL sucks? You're missing out.
posted by 235w103 at 7:27 PM on May 22 [2 favorites]

You know whats IT about 30 Rock? It's honest to gods Zany. Sure it's playing with sitcom tropes and playing with the basic ideas of Zany, but it's heart is dead in the 30s and His Gal Friday. American TV hasn't been honest to goshers balls out cornball zany for a while now, 30 Rock is a welcome throwback-thats-not-really-a-throwback.

See also Arrested Development, the most old-fashioned black comedy on TV.
posted by The Whelk at 8:26 PM on May 22 [12 favorites]

For those wondering about whether Tracy Morgan and Tracy Jordan have much in common, Jack McBrayer talks about that a little on The Sound of Young America. This interview's led to "Room For Improvement" becoming one of my favorite phrases.
posted by Greg Nog at 8:28 PM on May 22 [1 favorite]

and also Tracy and Kenneth get too much time and I'd like more writer's room stuff cause

I totally knew Kenneth before he was famous! If my know you mean I saw the actor in a lot of productions of Baby Wants Candy in Chicago and New York. To me, he'll never be as funny as we was when he was singing the show-stopping number "Kenya Bitch More?" with a flamingo.
posted by The Whelk at 8:30 PM on May 22

Indeed, much of the humor of 30 Rock (well, some of it; a not insignificant portion) derives precisely from the observation that all network television--especially, but not exclusively, the medium of the weekly live late night sketch comedy show--is inherently terrible most of the time.

Hating SNL could very well mean you'd enjoy 30 Rock all the more. Unless you're an idiot or a jerk or something.
posted by Sys Rq at 8:40 PM on May 22

But it can make thifngs hardf to fsay.

Ferioufly. Thif if the hardeft part about my job af an 18th century rare bookf librarian.
posted by Horace Rumpole at 8:59 PM on May 22 [3 favorites]

I'd love to see more time given to Donaghey's statement that in five years, Kenneth could be running the show.

Or be dead by his hand. Or be dead by his hand.
posted by Durn Bronzefist at 9:18 PM on May 22 [5 favorites]

I fell in love with 30 Rock when Tracy Jordan was thrashing around, off his meds - and Liz Lemon, asking him who his doctor is, he screams, "Doctor Spaceman! Doctor Spaceman!" ...When she finds his pill bottles, they indeed say, "Dr. Spaceman" on them.
posted by Xoebe at 9:40 PM on May 22 [9 favorites]

Oh hell, that was the same episode, next scene, where he went off on Conan O'Brian..."I am a stabbing robot!", as Conan hastily puts some space between himself and Jordan.
posted by Xoebe at 9:42 PM on May 22 [4 favorites]

Ah, Doctor Spaceman...
posted by Artw at 9:55 PM on May 22 [1 favorite]

I had the TV on a month or two again and was doing something in the other room. Kenneth was talking some hilarious shit. Then I came in and realized it was Bobby Jindal and it wasn't quite so funny anymore.
posted by Justinian at 10:06 PM on May 22 [2 favorites]

Seriously, if you're not watching 30 Rock because...it's pretty much a giant, weekly reminder that SNL sucks? You're missing out.

I'm not watching it because I already watch enough TV. I'm sure it's very good. I just wanted to type "the Kurt Waldheim of sitcoms" because it popped into my head when I thought of the SNL connection and I don't think it's ever been said before. But surely you agree that Saturday Night Live is worse than Hitler, Pol Pot and Glen Frey combined.
posted by Mayor Curley at 11:27 PM on May 22 [1 favorite]

Mayor Curley - As someone whose grandparents died in the so-called "Smuggler's Blues" concentration camps in 1985, no I do not agree, you insensitive prick. For millions, "The Allnighter" never was followed by the dawn.
posted by Guy Smiley at 11:44 PM on May 22 [4 favorites]

The greatest line on 30 Rock this season was in reaction to Tracy crying "There was no baby! I was chicken, I was chicken!"

Alan Alda walks on and says:

"A guy crying about a baby and a chicken - I thought this was a comedy show!"

Whoever wrote that line needs an Emmy NOW!
posted by crossoverman at 3:57 AM on May 23 [8 favorites]

I really honestly feel that Tracy Morgan is either legitimately crazy or the comedy genius of his generation. His ability to just spin off into ridiculous and generally always hilarious associations knows no competitors. That link upstream to the sports radio recording is a thing to behold.
posted by zennoshinjou at 5:13 AM on May 23

"Emmy NOW!"

Maybe we can put on a musical benefit to raise money to buy one for the writer.
posted by Servo5678 at 5:21 AM on May 23

One of my favorites from this season involves Tracy in a ball pit at Chuck E Cheese.

As he's being hauled away by security (or the police, I can't remember):

Do you know who I am?!

Seriously, please, tell me who I am.

---

Brilliant show. And I think Tracy Morgan is awesome.
posted by defenestration at 7:33 AM on May 23 [1 favorite]

I could do with 75% less Kenneth.

I too felt that way, up until around the episode where he's seen having a conversation over a cup of tea with a skeleton. That and the one where we see the world as he does, and it's all muppets walking around.

And as for Tracy, he's great. I get all the complaints people have but none of them bug me, and so many of his lines are just brilliant.

"I voted for Nader. TWICE!"
posted by opsin at 8:01 AM on May 23

And as for it's delay, is it as much that Leno is set to ruin everything?

I wound up watching Parks and Recreation and mildly enjoying it, but if asked to choose between it and 30 Rock, there's no question!
posted by opsin at 8:03 AM on May 23

And as for it's delay, is it as much that Leno is set to ruin everything?

I am really, really, really hoping Leno fails miserably. Nothing against Leno, but if his show is successful it may well be the end of scripted television as we know it, at least for a while.
posted by Justinian at 8:14 AM on May 23

I could do with 75% less Kenneth.

As funny as everyone else is on the show, the single line that made me laugh the hardest this season was when Kenneth explained what his wild pig did to him in his youth:

"She bit off my nutsack that I kept tied around my belt to feed the squirrels."
posted by Bookhouse at 8:28 AM on May 23 [4 favorites]

This thread has helped me enjoy 30 Rock more, to make my peace with Tracy Jordan. I've always sort of understood that there was meta-humor about TV production and the awfulness of TV. But now that I think about it, the writers of this show are keeping a lot of plates spinning, the whole show is chaos about to explode, just like the action on screen. Down to the writer's room. And it's not stupidly self-aware meta, it's just funny.

30 minutes of Tina Fey and Alec Baldwin riffing off each other with perfect timing would be funny, but only for 5 minutes. Then it'd be overwhelming. I think Kenneth and Jenna and the writers are way more funny than Tracy Jordan, but a little black minstrelism is just yet more chaos on the show, why not?
posted by Nelson at 8:37 AM on May 23

And as for it's delay, is it as much that Leno is set to ruin everything?

Not really. NBC only had one night of comedies this past season, without Jay. Four slots for comedy on a whole network requires juggling, especially when you are trying to get "the next big thing".

You could say that without Leno, they could put more dramas in the 10-11 PM slot, which would free up 8-10 PM time for comedies on another night. But it would be just as likely they would fill those openings with reality shows like Biggest Loser or Deal or No Deal.
posted by smackfu at 9:40 AM on May 23

This is a great idea for a blog post. I think you could do the same thing with several other characters on the show. Certainly Kenneth, Liz, and most definitely Dr. Spaceman.

"Dr. Spaceman" -- fucking brilliant.
posted by Slarty Bartfast at 11:05 AM on May 23

“They do that a lot in movies. An Afair to Remember, Sleepless in Seattle, and that remake of An Affair to Remember that I was in, A Blfair to Rememblack.”

Made me laugh so hard I peed a little when I saw this episode.
posted by lazaruslong at 11:32 AM on May 23

Whoever wrote that line needs an Emmy NOW!

That joke went completely over my head, as I had no familiarity with the M.A.S.H. finale. After reading up on it, GENIUS.
posted by graventy at 12:25 PM on May 23 [1 favorite]

Live every week like it's Shark Week!!!
posted by prototype_octavius at 1:06 PM on May 23

I'm a die hard MASH fan and I totally missed it until a few seconds later, I thought "What is Alan Alda complaining about?" Then it hit me and I lost control, I laughed for a long time at that.
posted by Science! at 1:15 PM on May 23

"You don't have to thank me, Lemon. We're a team now. Like Batman and Robin. Like chicken and a chicken container."

As an aside, I love Grizz and Dotcom. I want an entourage.
posted by Sweetie Darling at 1:52 PM on May 23

I'm a die hard MASH fan and I totally missed it until a few seconds later, I thought "What is Alan Alda complaining about?" Then it hit me and I lost control, I laughed for a long time at that.

30 Rock is one of those shows I DVR and usually end up watching at least twice per episode, because I miss half of it the first time around, due to slow brain, or laughing over the next line.
posted by The Deej at 1:59 PM on May 23

After reading up on it, GENIUS.

And it's not just the chicken/baby reference that makes it really work for me. It's the comment on it being a comedy show - since Alda himself was responsible for making MASH more serious in its later years and putting Hawkeye at the centre of much of the action. He also co-wrote "Goodbye, Farewell and Amen" - so he likely wrote that stuff about Hawkeye and the chicken/baby.

So he's making fun of that scene AND himself.
posted by crossoverman at 5:55 PM on May 23

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The Quotable Tracy Jordan May 22, 2009 3:16 PM Subscribe

The Quotable Tracy Jordan
May 22, 2009 3:16 PM Subscribe