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This is otterly ridiculous
May 27, 2009 9:35 PM   Subscribe

Seaworld Orlando has some brand new baby otters.

You otter know about otters.
posted by zerokey (56 comments total) 12 users marked this as a favorite

 
No way in hell those cute things grow up to be slick, cantankerous ocean rats.
posted by iamkimiam at 9:41 PM on May 27, 2009 [1 favorite]


I would smuggle them out and teach them to massage my feet in exchange for sardines.
posted by jimmythefish at 9:46 PM on May 27, 2009 [2 favorites]


I ♥ Otters!
posted by isopraxis at 9:48 PM on May 27, 2009


Maybe you could skip a step, jimmy, and just have them nibble the dead skin off your heels.
posted by hermitosis at 10:01 PM on May 27, 2009


I... I think I'm lactating now.
posted by The otter lady at 10:20 PM on May 27, 2009 [32 favorites]


Aww, wook at da widdle bab...IT'S GOT MY FINGER! MY FINGER! AHHHH!
posted by Cool Papa Bell at 10:22 PM on May 27, 2009 [1 favorite]


Don't forget about this one.
posted by MaryDellamorte at 10:27 PM on May 27, 2009 [5 favorites]


They are adorable. Skip the facts, just the videos please.
posted by kindalike at 10:30 PM on May 27, 2009


Aww, everybody loves a baby otter.
posted by OverlappingElvis at 10:31 PM on May 27, 2009


Yeah, they may look cute and all, but those fuckers will eat all the abalone if you give them half a chance. And abalone is tasty.
posted by juv3nal at 10:42 PM on May 27, 2009 [1 favorite]


Fucking vermin.
posted by fleetmouse at 11:08 PM on May 27, 2009


So cute they anger God.
posted by firemonkey at 11:36 PM on May 27, 2009


Man, this makes me miss my gerbils - I love chirping mammals.

And hermitosis, I know this is a bit off-topic, but since you brought it up, Garra rufa spas are really not good for the fish. It's one thing to go get nibbled in their natural environment, but they only do that when the food supply is scarce - meaning in a controlled environment, you need to starve them. Also, when the US "fish pedicure" services were opened, in order to meet the required health standards they set a procedure of full water changes between each client. This sounds great for the humans, but it's a nasty shock for the fish, which need a more stable environment.

I know you weren't necessarily endorsing the concept or anything, but I thought I'd mention it.
posted by bettafish at 11:53 PM on May 27, 2009


Otters holding hands.

That is so fucking adorably cute.
posted by twoleftfeet at 11:56 PM on May 27, 2009 [2 favorites]


My mothering instincts just kicked in.

Good god they are adorable. Too bad they have to live at Sea World.
posted by Malice at 11:59 PM on May 27, 2009 [1 favorite]


Yeah, they may look cute and all, but those fuckers will eat all the abalone if you give them half a chance. And abalone is tasty.

Nah, these are a kind of river otter, not sea otters. This is abalone-safe cuteness.
posted by fshgrl at 12:11 AM on May 28, 2009


holy crap, those things are cute

umm... am I a bad mom if I want to trade pre-pubescent humans for those? I mean, they'll probably want more time in the bathtub, but that's win-win for me.
posted by lilywing13 at 12:25 AM on May 28, 2009 [2 favorites]


OH DEAR GOD WANT
posted by Space Kitty at 12:25 AM on May 28, 2009


Otterly lovely.

Now stay away from my fish.
posted by MuffinMan at 1:05 AM on May 28, 2009


I want to hold them and keep them warm and feed them and make them feel safe.
posted by Pope Guilty at 1:15 AM on May 28, 2009 [3 favorites]


The video's over a month old, their eyes and ears should be open by now - any updates?

And while we're on the cute overload ... Kingsford the Piglet.
posted by aeschenkarnos at 1:23 AM on May 28, 2009 [3 favorites]


This doesn't really do justice to the cacophony of begging.

They were far from cute and seem more like a pack of voracious greedy beggars (I also hate children).

Adult otters however are pretty cool.
posted by srboisvert at 2:38 AM on May 28, 2009


Am I the only one who has to watch this sort of video with the sound turned off to block out the inane comments and coo-ings from the humans off camera? I need some sort of smart volume control that blocks that annoying chirping and lets through the sounds of the animals...
posted by twine42 at 3:23 AM on May 28, 2009


Could somebody pass me a seal club?
posted by Pollomacho at 4:29 AM on May 28, 2009


Could somebody pass me a seal club?

Sorry, Pollomacho, I ate the last one.

Seriously though, my wife has a thing where when she sees adorable animals, especially baby ones, she feels a compulsion to put them in her mouth. Not to eat them, mind you, just place them gently in her mouth for a while. She might try to cram the monitor in her mouth if she watches this video.

This is what SLYT is made for. Thanks, zerokey.
posted by Rock Steady at 4:37 AM on May 28, 2009 [3 favorites]


This makes me want to put a monolith in front of a bunch of these adorable animals just to see what happens. Won't be good, I think.
posted by maudlin at 4:56 AM on May 28, 2009


Your wife isn't part alligator is she Rock Steady?
posted by Pollomacho at 4:56 AM on May 28, 2009


My tomcat heard them mewling and is now searching all over the room for the babies. I don't know if he wants to help them or to eat them, but he is very intense right now.
posted by RussHy at 5:01 AM on May 28, 2009 [2 favorites]


Republican Senators Sessions and Inhofe hate otters and want to kill them. Please help defeat the otter haters in 2010.
posted by DU at 5:25 AM on May 28, 2009


Cute.

Shame about having to spend their lives in captivity, being gawked at by tourists at SeaWorld Orlando.
posted by Joe Beese at 5:26 AM on May 28, 2009 [1 favorite]


Live ottercam!
posted by davelog at 5:34 AM on May 28, 2009


I make each day feel cuter by visiting Daily Otter.

So much nubby lil' paw action.
posted by roboppy at 6:20 AM on May 28, 2009 [3 favorites]


pew pew pew!
posted by Scoo at 7:20 AM on May 28, 2009


Kingsford the piglet is killing me with his cuteness.
posted by Mavri at 7:24 AM on May 28, 2009


Something about bottles of wine covered in dew and otters.

Also, any information on the provenance of these otters? Were they bought from an unscrupulous animal trader their parents? The Australian RSPCA?
posted by asok at 7:49 AM on May 28, 2009 [1 favorite]


..trader who killed their..
posted by asok at 7:49 AM on May 28, 2009


i know my ex had kids but that was a rude way to put it.
posted by the aloha at 8:10 AM on May 28, 2009


Back in the early 90s, I attended the wedding of my then-girlfriend's best friend. It was hosted by the bride's parents at their creepy Gothic plantation home in Plaquemine, Louisiana. The father was a big game hunter and had a trophy room stuffed with his various kills. There were the requisite mounted heads (deer, moose, Cape buffalo), stuffed corpses (bear, zebra, cougar), and a few specimens of - I thought - questionable legality (giraffe?). Having not yet torpedoed this particular relationship, I bit back my "bwana" comments as she gave me a brief tour.

Until we got to the otter, that is.

Me: "What the fuck?"
Her: "What?"
Me: "An otter? How...what...?"
Her: "Are you okay?"
Me: "I mean, did he stalk it? Did he need jungle guides? Did he track it through the woods for days until he found the perfect spot to set up his blind?"
Her: "We should go..."
Me: "Or did the Great White Hunter just wait by the side of the pond until it swam over to him and he hit it with a FUCKING STICK?"

I'm not sure, but I thought I saw the guy walk away from the room as I was being hustled out, though I don't know if he overheard. We amscrayed pretty quick, less because of my indignation (which conveniently wasn't stoked by the ugly boar carcass) and more because I was half thinking I might end up inadvertantly starring in The Most Dangerous Game 2: Bayou Boogaloo.
posted by total warfare frown at 8:13 AM on May 28, 2009 [4 favorites]


Otters are significantly less cute when shaved.
posted by FatherDagon at 8:16 AM on May 28, 2009


I would smuggle snuggle them out and teach them to massage my feet in exchange for sardines more snuggles.
posted by aftermarketradio at 8:40 AM on May 28, 2009


total warfare frown, I had a similar experience; a guy showed me pictures of some GWH's house he visited. The guy had shot everything. He had an elephant. Giraffes. Raccoons. A walrus. That's when I had to say something. What kind of man shoots a walrus?
posted by atchafalaya at 8:57 AM on May 28, 2009


Rock Steady: my wife has a thing where when she sees adorable animals, especially baby ones, she feels a compulsion to put them in her mouth. Not to eat them, mind you, just place them gently in her mouth for a while.

Your wife and Shoko Nakagawa as well...
posted by gen at 9:17 AM on May 28, 2009


gen - that was OK until the last picture. She's inflating the cat from the wrong end.
posted by zerokey at 9:25 AM on May 28, 2009


Franz Ferdinand not only shot anything that could be shot, he also kept detailed notes about when and where each animal was killed. The little bunny head seemed particularly pointless.
posted by The Whelk at 9:39 AM on May 28, 2009


What kind of man shoots a walrus?

Mark David Chapman?
posted by potsmokinghippieoverlord at 10:03 AM on May 28, 2009 [4 favorites]


I never considered wanting a pig until Kingsford. Cute overload!
posted by notashroom at 10:08 AM on May 28, 2009


Franz Ferdinand not only shot anything that could be shot...

I like how it looks like he just sort of nailed a dead cat to the wall by one back paw in the background above the bear. Classy.
posted by Pollomacho at 10:12 AM on May 28, 2009


I will name him George and I will hug him and pet him and squeeeeeze him.
posted by gottabefunky at 10:15 AM on May 28, 2009


Kingsford the piglet is killing me with his cuteness.

Yeah, even with the clanging cliche of a soundtrack, that Kingsford's some kinda charmer. I've got some really nice capicollo in the fridge I was thinking of having for lunch, and he's making that very difficult.
posted by gompa at 10:33 AM on May 28, 2009


They are so cute! I want to eat them!

This is my default response to cuteness. Baby fat just looks delicious to gnaw on. I guess I'm with Rock Steady's wife on this one.
posted by grapefruitmoon at 10:48 AM on May 28, 2009


Ack! grapefruitmoon, I take back everything nice I just said about you in that other thread. :-)
posted by Guy_Inamonkeysuit at 11:02 AM on May 28, 2009


I would never actually eat the otters! Just... chew on their ears a bit.
posted by grapefruitmoon at 11:07 AM on May 28, 2009


Cute baby animal eaters, you are not alone! (I thought it was normal to want to nom nom nom cute critters?)
posted by vespabelle at 11:41 AM on May 28, 2009


grapefruitmoon, that's how it starts with the baby bunnies and their cannibalistic mothers. Hansel and Gretel? Projection of the childhood fear of the devouring maternal figure. First you smooch, then you want to get the scruff of their neck in your teeth, next thing you know, you're doing doing the feminist Goya and staring at the gore-gouting neckstump of your little cuddlebuddy, who is not quite so adorable anymore.
posted by adipocere at 1:17 PM on May 28, 2009 [3 favorites]


Metafilter: the gore-gouting neckstump of your little cuddlebuddy.
posted by infinitywaltz at 1:44 PM on May 28, 2009


I don't want to nom cute critters, but when presented with infants, I want to nibble on they tiny feet.
posted by coppermoss at 6:21 PM on May 28, 2009


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