We didn't budget for this...

May 28, 2009 10:35 AM

The Vendor-Client Relationshipin real life situations (SLYT).
posted by educatedslacker (31 comments total)

This is GREAT. My entire project team just got this link.
posted by uaudio at 10:51 AM on May 28, 2009

THIS JUST IN: WHITE PEOPLE ARE CHEAP!
posted by punkfloyd at 10:55 AM on May 28, 2009

THIS JUST IN: WHITE PEOPLE ARE CHEAP!

what
posted by nosila at 10:59 AM on May 28, 2009 [2 favorites]

I hate to say "it's funny because it's true," but it's funny because it's true.
posted by Optimus Chyme at 11:03 AM on May 28, 2009 [5 favorites]

Of course the other side of the transaction is the menu that says "Ask your server for a quote" and "From $199.99 per seat". And the table next to you getting an entirely different total price for the same meal.
posted by Skorgu at 11:08 AM on May 28, 2009 [11 favorites]

Yeah..someone definitely needs to do this from the client's perspective:

"Hi, uhm...the spec says we wanted filet mignon, medium rare. You delivered rump roast well done, and we had to wait 15 minutes for it, and there are no utensils for us to eat with."
posted by spicynuts at 11:10 AM on May 28, 2009 [3 favorites]

"Okay--we'll pay for it this time, but we're going to need you to show us how you did it so we can do it in-house for ourselves next time."

Beautiful.
posted by applemeat at 11:12 AM on May 28, 2009 [6 favorites]

Or:

Client: "Excuse me, Maitre d' (vendor PM or AE)? I can't find my waitress...we've been done with our apps (phase 1 release) for about 20 minutes and she hasn't returned"

Vendor: "Very sorry, sir, our waitress is overseas and out ability to communicate with her is spotty because sometimes she can't get to the phone (internet cafe) in Serbia. I'll try her through the usual channels and let you know when she's awake/available/out of prison."
posted by spicynuts at 11:13 AM on May 28, 2009 [2 favorites]

"Of course our kitchen is up to health department standards. Visit? Our kitchen? I'm sorry, we have a strict policy against that. You might introduce a germ. But trust us. Oh, a certificate? I'm sorry, I can't seem to get my fax machine working..."
posted by These Premises Are Alarmed at 11:17 AM on May 28, 2009 [2 favorites]

I would love to see a video from the other side of the transaction as well - won't make this one any less true or less funny - I'd get double the fun for the same amount.

Come on, people, we can do this!
posted by DreamerFi at 11:24 AM on May 28, 2009

I would love to see a video from the other side of the transaction as well

Hmm...but the clients can't make the video on their own, can they?
posted by PlusDistance at 11:28 AM on May 28, 2009 [9 favorites]

I literally got the 'we don't have the budget for this' speech last week. I told them, in that case, they weren't going to get it. We'll see how that goes.
posted by unSane at 11:39 AM on May 28, 2009 [1 favorite]

Ah, my life in two minutes.
posted by maxwelton at 11:40 AM on May 28, 2009

Please..I have to give the 'we don't have the budget for this' speech all the time. I hate it every single time but, nothing ventured nothing gained.
posted by spicynuts at 11:41 AM on May 28, 2009

"This is a test..."

oh lawd, but this hurts to watch. So I'm sending it to everyone on my team as well...
posted by jquinby at 11:41 AM on May 28, 2009

Inattentive, incompetent or incomplete vendor service absolutely deserves a client's scrutiny. That said, many--not all, or even most, but many--business clients really do appear to think very little of blowing off or negotiating out of valid invoice balances for proficient professional services completed at their direct instruction months--or sometimes even years--before. One too many deadbeats like that will absolutely ruin a small professional firm that timely pays its own vendors, creditors, landlord, and etc.
posted by applemeat at 11:42 AM on May 28, 2009

Client: "Excuse me, Maitre d' (vendor PM or AE)? I can't find my waitress...we've been done with our apps (phase 1 release) for about 20 minutes and she hasn't returned"

Vendor: "Very sorry, sir, our waitress is overseas and out ability to communicate with her is spotty because sometimes she can't get to the phone (internet cafe) in Serbia. I'll try her through the usual channels and let you know when she's awake/available/out of prison."

Client: But that's not reasonable at all.

Vendor: What do you want for $3.99?

I kid, I kid.
posted by jquinby at 11:47 AM on May 28, 2009

Ha...you kid but it's TRUE!. Round and round we go, where it stops, nobody knows.
posted by spicynuts at 11:53 AM on May 28, 2009

very good, but it is just a riff on where it is acceptable to negotiate prices and where its unreasonable. Take the same conversations and apply them to car purchasing, building contractors and I don't think the humour holds.
posted by fistynuts at 12:15 PM on May 28, 2009

They're missing the part, at the restaurant, when he pays half the bill, and asks for a few changes to the meal, and a free dessert, before paying the second half. And he incents the waiter with the potential for a tip, just to see if he can get a little something extra that way, too.
posted by Chuffy at 12:31 PM on May 28, 2009 [1 favorite]

And this...
Notice to Bidders
been there, done that. On both sides.
posted by drhydro at 12:35 PM on May 28, 2009 [1 favorite]

fistynuts has it. Why is the haggling over the listed price of a DVD at the video store seen as being unacceptable, when the same bargaining behaviors are expected when you go in to buy a car?

The restaurant scene is impolite because the negotiation is happening after service is rendered. The haircut scene implies the push to get into a credit agreement with someone who would not typically be seen as being able to easily provide credit. But people have always haggled at the marketplace.
posted by eschatfische at 1:19 PM on May 28, 2009 [3 favorites]

Spot on. Many clients in my line of work want Annie Liebovitz for the price of their uncle the amateur photographer. It's going to keep getting worse and I don't see it ever getting better.
posted by photoslob at 1:35 PM on May 28, 2009 [1 favorite]

Then there's the clients who complain about you not following their directions when they, to be charitable, could be more clear. For example, I got this actual direction:

Priority wise, item 8 is the highest. We need to have it ready by the end of this week. Item 3 is the following one. Could you have it finished by the end of next week? Item 6 and 7 are very quick ones and I am sure you can have them done in 10 minutes. Item 2 is more important and you can leave item 4 for last. Item 5 should already be done.

If I remember correctly this was the conclusion of their response to my request to give me a list of deliverables ordered by priority. I don't remember what happened to item 1 or how important it was.
posted by kirkaracha at 1:43 PM on May 28, 2009

"THIS JUST IN: WHITE PEOPLE ARE CHEAP!"

can't we just all get along?
posted by Hands of Manos at 2:41 PM on May 28, 2009

oh...and this is a perfect example of the story of my freelancing life.
posted by Hands of Manos at 2:42 PM on May 28, 2009

It was really well done - but I don't understand: What is a vendor? What is a client? Is this in reference to free-lance?
posted by jb at 5:08 PM on May 28, 2009

JB, I get contracted to do a job. I do the work and invoice the company, therefore I'm a vendor. The person I (the freelancer) work for is considered my client.
posted by Hands of Manos at 5:19 PM on May 28, 2009

Thanks, Hands. I was feeling just a bit lost (I've always been in either an hourly-wage or academic ghetto - two places that don't really have these issues.)
posted by jb at 5:55 PM on May 28, 2009

To nth fistynuts and eschatfische, all I could think was, this should be called "The Vendor-Client Relationship outside of Normal Vendor-Client Context." Last time I checked, the Vendor-Client relationship exists on the same plane of existence as everything else, making it a Real-life situation all the same.

This felt more like a thinly veiled attack on what are normally acceptable, albeit frustrating and foolish, business practices.

Kudos for the high production values, however.
posted by snapped at 8:12 PM on May 28, 2009

Love it, love it , love it.

I find in dealing with these situations, the most powerful and underused negotiation tool is "no."

"Yeah, you quoted us X, we were thinking something in the neighborhood of X-Y."
"no."
"Well, So-and-so gave us a quote of X-Y, so"
"Then go with them. In fact, if they're giving you that price, give me their number, I'll have them do mine too."
posted by Uther Bentrazor at 10:46 AM on May 29, 2009 [1 favorite]