Your face will not remain unrocked.

May 28, 2009 11:43 PM

You may remember him from the old Portal of Evil and Fat Chicks in Party Hats days. Perhaps his article on homemade fireworks or his extensive collection of Hostess comic book ads taught you to laugh about love again. After a long absence from the internet, Seanbaby is back with, among other things, The Torture Debate As a Batman Comic.

Previously on Metafilter (within the last two years): Frivolous lawsuits and a Nintendo cartridge that knows your future.

posted by rifflesby (39 comments total)

Mostly I remember him from this, which I'll bet bums him out more than a little.
posted by dersins at 11:57 PM on May 28, 2009 [2 favorites]

He's been writing for Cracked a little bit recently.
posted by Mitrovarr at 12:00 AM on May 29, 2009

(host segments filmed a place which many of you may remember...)
posted by dersins at 12:01 AM on May 29, 2009

That comic was pretty incoherent, which isn't surprising since seanbaby sucks.
posted by delmoi at 12:30 AM on May 29, 2009

Seanbaby has always been an unfunny piece of shit who tries way too hard, but he did manage to produce this:

http://www.seanbaby.com/nes/mark.htm

Which was pretty funny.
posted by hamida2242 at 12:39 AM on May 29, 2009

Seanbaby's great.

"You can always get a cat out of a tree by raping people under it until the emergency vehicles scare it away, but I believe the American people would like a better solution".
posted by Sebmojo at 12:44 AM on May 29, 2009 [2 favorites]

Dick Cheney's a chocobo now?
posted by grobstein at 12:47 AM on May 29, 2009

Yeah, for whatever reason I thought Seanbaby was funny 10 years ago, but re-reading his stuff now, I realize he's pretty much just a meathead homophobic fratboy jagoff who's way too infrequently funny to justify his (former?) Internet-icon status. In 2009, it's not envelope-pushing irreverence to call people "fag" anymore, if it ever even was. It just makes you look like a macho idiot.

http://www.seanbaby.com/nes/mark.htm

Which was pretty funny.

Definitely one of his high points, even if everyone in the world but him can clearly see that it was just some troll pretending to be "Mark".
posted by DecemberBoy at 1:11 AM on May 29, 2009 [2 favorites]

I stopped reading him after 9/11. when he turned into a jingoistic liberal-bashing douchebag.
posted by acb at 2:29 AM on May 29, 2009 [1 favorite]

I stopped reading him after 9/11. when he turned into a jingoistic liberal-bashing douchebag.

The proper term is "South Park Republican". It's what happens when you have only the slightest bit of awareness of anything other than yourself, and really wish that those faggy liberals or whatever would just, like, quit whining all the time, man. And you consider yourself an irreverent, insightful, straight-shootin' tell-it-like-it-is iconoclast for having these opinions. It's a phenomenon usually observed in college-freshman-aged white upper-middle class males, and they usually outgrow it in a few years. When they keep it up into their 30s, it's particularly sad.
posted by DecemberBoy at 3:17 AM on May 29, 2009 [17 favorites]

Strangely, most of the South Park Republicans I knew listened to Dropkick Murphys and third-wave ska, were always kind of chubby, and would show up at your parties in a fedora and try to start arguments with the guys about healthcare or gun control to somehow impress the punk girls.
posted by dunkadunc at 3:41 AM on May 29, 2009 [4 favorites]

The torture comic is worth a read. Very much so. He's had the "Come home to Jeebus" moment... you know, the one that will make Dennis Miller shave and open a dual-headliner tour with Louis Black.

Hell, I had a moment like that when I realized that Bush and Rummie went into Iraq with no plan for occupation and pacification, and went as far as to scrap the comprehensive plans for same that Clinton forced the military and CIA to hammer out to replace it with "they'll welcome us with flowers and parades." Then there was the whole not-finding-weapons-of-mass-destruction thing...
posted by Slap*Happy at 4:06 AM on May 29, 2009

most of the South Park Republicans I knew listened to Dropkick Murphys and third-wave ska, were always kind of chubby, and would show up at your parties in a fedora and try to start arguments with the guys about healthcare or gun control to somehow impress the punk girls.

Yeah well we grew out of it and now this anti-torture comic is a good encapsulation of why even neck-bearded trust fund libertarians voted for Obama. Also, Nuclear Time Spiders is fucking hilarious.

And ska is coming back any day now, I swear.
posted by Potomac Avenue at 4:13 AM on May 29, 2009 [2 favorites]

I haven't paid attention to Seanbaby's antics lately, but the first time I read his Superfriends page, I nearly bust a gut.
posted by Fleebnork at 5:23 AM on May 29, 2009 [2 favorites]

Your phony moralizing is putting electric dick clamp workers out of work!
posted by exogenous at 5:23 AM on May 29, 2009

I am glad that I am not so devoted to my politics that I cannot find humor in jokes that disagree with me. It must be great for your cause to have that sort of uniformity of message, but it makes you a lot less fun to hang out with. I suppose that with the Rachel Maddow/Keith Olbermann combo on MSNBC every night, that's a lot less important to you than it used to be.

I think Seanbaby is pretty funny. He's no Henny Youngman, but I'm glad that he's writing again.
posted by Slap Factory at 5:46 AM on May 29, 2009 [3 favorites]

Why have I never heard of this guy before? He's retardedly hilarious.
KICK TO THE DICK
posted by Potomac Avenue at 6:09 AM on May 29, 2009 [1 favorite]

ZOMFG!1 I just posted a Seanbaby link. In here.

He's funny in print, but live..meh. I saw him on "G4" a few years ago.

Also, this made me laugh until I cried: am I the only one that noticed that Mike Myers in the Cat in the Hat makeup is a childhood vision of horror? If this god damn nature-taunting cat man was a howling scorpion with my father's face riding the blood-soaked ghost of Joseph Stalin I couldn't be more terrified of it.

Really imagine that. Do it.
posted by ostranenie at 6:23 AM on May 29, 2009

The Carlos Mencia Twitter analysis is good savage fun aimed at someone who deserves it. Nice way to start the morning.
posted by mediareport at 6:28 AM on May 29, 2009 [3 favorites]

I used to think seanbaby was funny, but then I realized I had him confused with Maddox and Lowtax.
posted by 0xdeadc0de at 6:35 AM on May 29, 2009 [2 favorites]

Wow. That was pretty damned unintelligible.
Good thing no trees were killed to provide space for it, I guess. But those poor, poor pixels. How they must have suffered displaying that mess.
posted by Thorzdad at 6:41 AM on May 29, 2009 [1 favorite]

i have no idea who the author is, was or should be but this comic had some brilliant moments.

the analogy of going to the supermarket hungry and without a list was spot on as was the torture-friendly way to get a cat out of a tree (noted above.)

odd how batman vs. penguin is a new archetype.
posted by noway at 6:44 AM on May 29, 2009

The link is worthwhile for this alone:

"The American people have lived on frosting and cheese for too long!"
posted by grabbingsand at 6:44 AM on May 29, 2009

It's funny cause it's true, grabbingsand.

I always enjoyed the now-defunct Broken Pixels, which included seanbaby.
posted by graventy at 6:59 AM on May 29, 2009

I haven't paid a lot of attention to what happened to Seanbaby in recent years (for some reason I assumed he went on to pursue a kickboxing career a la Lloyd Dobler), so I don't know about his post-9/11 Dennis Miller-ization, but this comic is anything but right wing.

And for the last time...The Joker wears a purple suit coat. The Penguin wears a purple top hat. JESUS.
posted by total warfare frown at 7:14 AM on May 29, 2009

I haven't paid attention to Seanbaby's antics lately, but the first time I read his Superfriends page, I nearly bust a gut.

I'm not a big fan of his other stuff, but the SuperFriends bit is classic.
posted by rottytooth at 7:40 AM on May 29, 2009

"You can always get a cat out of a tree by raping people under it until the emergency vehicles scare it away, but I believe the American people would like a better solution".

I've never heard of this bloke before, and to be honest this quote doesn't lead me to believe he's some sort of laugh riot.

Maybe I Just Don't Get this kind of thing - I think the cockeyed.com guy is a really really dull writer, too, even if some of his stuff could have been funny.
posted by mippy at 7:47 AM on May 29, 2009

Portal of Evil and the Hostess ads (particularly the fake Preacher one) were pretty good; Fat Chicks in Party Hats, not so much.
posted by Halloween Jack at 8:05 AM on May 29, 2009

The NES Pages were brilliant! His other writing sometimes seemed like a strained effort.

I didn't know he went Dennis Miller, but I'm not surprised he's a South Park Republican. Anyone have any links to that stuff?
posted by ignignokt at 8:18 AM on May 29, 2009

My best friend and I had a massive crush on Seanbaby back in 1999-2000. We even drew a comic in which we GOT EQUIPPED with our underwear on the outside of our pants, defeated Dr. Wily by having him chase a fruit pie over the edge of a cliff, and eventually learned the secret of life, love, happiness, and doing Seanbaby.

Like many of my other objects of desire around that time, he hasn't aged well. I go back and read Seanbaby's old stuff every now and then, and it never fails to crack me up, but his new stuff just isn't that good.

Additionally, I really want to know what happened to Joyce.
posted by Metroid Baby at 8:19 AM on May 29, 2009

Why had I never realized before that Dick Cheney's frozen sneer would be perfectly complemented by an extravagantly long cigarette holder?

If only he had taken up smoking years ago!
posted by ardgedee at 8:23 AM on May 29, 2009

Seanbaby's Superfriends pages were awesome. His quality is a bit hit-and-miss now, as is the case with all comedian-types. I can't think of any comedian who kept at their peak for a decade.
posted by Bugbread at 8:25 AM on May 29, 2009

Man, I've just started reading that Carlos Mencia on Twitter piece, and already I've struck gold:

More importantly, no one who has ever “banged a hot chick” would ever refer to it in that way. “Bang a hot chick” is something you say to your friends to celebrate the last moment of them not knowing you’re a virgin. He might as well have said, “Unrelated to the previous sentence, I hate how girls pee out of their butts.”
posted by Atom Eyes at 10:30 AM on May 29, 2009

Seanbaby's absoludicrous video reviews have some really funny stuff, mostly because he's stumbled upon some pretty awesomely ridiculous source material. I'll bet his review of Straight Up will make you laugh.

And I've always loved his suggestion that beaches avoid shark-attack liability by deploying burrito-launching flying saucers that would keep the sharks too sated to attack human beings.
posted by straight at 11:09 AM on May 29, 2009

Yes, this is funny, in a way. Where was he eight years ago, when Cheney actually had power?
posted by JHarris at 4:49 PM on May 29, 2009

He was there on his own site, he was just younger and less political.
posted by Bugbread at 5:27 PM on May 29, 2009

Seanbaby is a good match for Cracked, and I mean that in the least nice way possible.
posted by Foosnark at 11:52 PM on May 30, 2009

I miss Old Man Murray.
posted by kjs3 at 1:32 PM on May 31, 2009 [1 favorite]

This stayed with me a while too:

Say you wake up with no idea where you were all night, your hands are covered in blood, and you find a human finger in your mouth. Who cares? Somewhere out there Skip Rogers actually gives a fuck whether or not his little Nintendo fighter jet crashes into the water. That's a real problem. All you did was eat a guy.

posted by ostranenie at 9:37 AM on June 3, 2009