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WTF Heather Parisi's "Crilù" OMG WTF
May 31, 2009 8:59 AM   Subscribe

Gyrations atop a giant Rubik’s cube? Check. Uber groiny, hardbodied ballet dancers in metallic bowler shoes? Check. Intimated BJ three-way with male Moschino models? Check. Glittering Mickey Mouse butt cleavage? OKAY NOW THAT’S JUST GOING TOO FAR. Coilhouse is awesome.
posted by cgc373 (49 comments total) 10 users marked this as a favorite

 
My eyes! The goggles do nothing!
posted by vibrotronica at 9:10 AM on May 31, 2009 [3 favorites]


I dislike it. Italy has 5 points deducted.
posted by Meatbomb at 9:12 AM on May 31, 2009 [1 favorite]


Am I the only one who was disappointed the butt cleavage didn't belong to Mickey Mouse?
posted by bondcliff at 9:18 AM on May 31, 2009 [7 favorites]


I'd certainly hope so...
posted by Brockles at 9:20 AM on May 31, 2009


Having grown up in the 60s and 70s, I have only one question: How the hell did we get the 80s????
posted by tommasz at 9:20 AM on May 31, 2009


Just think, it was the 80s for ten years.
posted by vibrotronica at 9:21 AM on May 31, 2009 [7 favorites]


Nul points.
posted by kldickson at 9:23 AM on May 31, 2009


She's never going to solve that Rubik's cube by just rotating the top section.
posted by Burhanistan at 9:23 AM on May 31, 2009 [8 favorites]


Oh, my the '80s were so classy.
posted by ericb at 9:23 AM on May 31, 2009


tommasz: I think the 80s were a peculiar experiment where we took the bright colors and pseudo-surrealism and sunny Carpenters optimism of the early 70s, blended it with Watergate and Disco culture, and then poured it into the Reagan-shaped mold of Wall Street + Yuppie inward focus.

And suddenly, WHAM! You get dayglo colors knitted into exercise wear, white picket fences protecting cube-solving progeny, and a sort of false hope for the future based on the possibility that ANYONE can step on enough people to climb out of the morass if they are ambitious enough.
posted by hippybear at 9:29 AM on May 31, 2009 [1 favorite]


I think it was just all the cocaine.
posted by Burhanistan at 9:30 AM on May 31, 2009 [3 favorites]


I can't take my eyes off this.

It's not just the 80s, Italy is the best at making things raunchy. For example, Hole in the Wall (US) versus Hole in the Wall (Italy).
posted by infinitewindow at 9:31 AM on May 31, 2009 [2 favorites]


My Google-fu is failing me at the moment, but isn't Italy where they have the television show which consists entirely of women mowing their lawns topless?
posted by hippybear at 9:35 AM on May 31, 2009


rock!
(and, of course, by that I mean crack)
posted by brevator at 9:36 AM on May 31, 2009


Mickey Mouse, my ass!
posted by Afroblanco at 9:41 AM on May 31, 2009


What the FRICK is that dance they're doing to Frankie Goes to Hollywood?
posted by Durn Bronzefist at 9:43 AM on May 31, 2009


(yes, I made it past the first video. It was too horrible not to watch)
posted by Durn Bronzefist at 9:45 AM on May 31, 2009


What's always weird for me as a performer is to simultaneously ingest Teh Awful and also look at it as a professional gig - I imagine all the grips, and sound men and the director telling all the dancers to start over.

Or put another way, a lot of planning and money and groupmind went into the epic WTF we just witnessed.

Somewhere, right now, Heather Parisi is like 50-something, huffing on a Kool and going,
"Yeah, that shoot was hell! Cocaine was bolted on to the director's nose, the dancers were all bitchy, and the lighting was turned up too high! And that cube thing? It was made out of flat plastic and my heels were skidding on it the entire time!"
posted by Lipstick Thespian at 10:10 AM on May 31, 2009 [5 favorites]


or she might have seen the light, and is living in a convent, in the southern part of france!
posted by billybobtoo at 10:15 AM on May 31, 2009


Oh wow. That was some thick, concentrated eighties. I'll bet you could whip a fresh batch of eighties if you diluted this video in twenty gallons of water or so.
posted by EatTheWeak at 10:21 AM on May 31, 2009 [6 favorites]


Back in the old days, grandkids, there was this assetgate -- back then we called them "websites" -- that was losing $2 million PER DAY in the old money to store and present the coolest user-uploaded video stuff ever. . . FOR FREE.

Just goes to show, you don't know what you'll miss until it's gone. . .

posted by @troy at 10:27 AM on May 31, 2009


Were anyone else's hopes dashed when they got a better look at the male lead in pink trousers and realised it wasn't Dolph Lundgren?
posted by protorp at 10:30 AM on May 31, 2009


Somewhere, right now, Heather Parisi is like 50-something, huffing on a Kool

or she might have seen the light, and is living in a convent

Actually, she's blogging the new film she's producing. Anyway, she's had a pretty extensive career in TV and music.
posted by dhartung at 10:46 AM on May 31, 2009 [1 favorite]


God, I fucking LOVE italo-disco.
posted by empath at 10:47 AM on May 31, 2009


This makes me want to move to Italy. Holy cow.
posted by egypturnash at 10:55 AM on May 31, 2009


E una 'sticky situation,' indeed.
posted by chihiro at 11:02 AM on May 31, 2009 [2 favorites]


I liked that more than waterboarding will ever get me to admit it again.

That was sublime.
posted by black8 at 11:07 AM on May 31, 2009


Little known fact; the guy in the pink trousers, with the open fly revealing zebra striped underwear? That's Kevin Jonas, Sr, the father of the Jonas brothers. He's wearing the pink pants because he's the only straight man of all the dancers.
posted by Nelson at 11:08 AM on May 31, 2009


Burhanistan:
Nobody will ever solve that Rubik's cube. One of the corner pieces has yellow on two of its three sides, making it unsolvable. For some reason every prop/fake Rubik's cube I've seen has a similar problem.

Italo disco is my favourite genre right now. A lot of it is also conveniently sung in English.
posted by Suparnova at 11:30 AM on May 31, 2009 [2 favorites]


DAMN. There are so many songs ripped off here, it's like Girl Talk.

(but the most ripped off song has got to be "You Belong To The City" - one of the most heinous pop hits of all time.)

Wow.
posted by pinky at 11:38 AM on May 31, 2009




> Nobody will ever solve that Rubik's cube.

Are you one of those people who don't get invited to parties because you complain to the host when people overfill their cups from the punchbowl?
posted by ardgedee at 11:42 AM on May 31, 2009


I also had a different 80s.
posted by Burhanistan at 11:42 AM on May 31, 2009


Nobody will ever solve that Rubik's cube. One of the corner pieces has yellow on two of its three sides, making it unsolvable. For some reason every prop/fake Rubik's cube I've seen has a similar problem.

Wow, I'm glad I'm not the only one who noticed this. As soon as the Rubik's Cube came on screen I was thankfully distracted from from bizarre... well, everything, and could immediately tell instinctively that the cube was unsolvable because someone rearranged the stickers. Yeah, hi, I'm a nerd and I think in three or four dimensions and dream in color. Step off or I'll go all Tetris on your limbs.

I have only one question: How the hell did we get the 80s????

Is the answer "Cocaine is a hell of a drug"?
posted by loquacious at 12:09 PM on May 31, 2009 [1 favorite]


This is why the Internet was invented.
posted by RussHy at 12:26 PM on May 31, 2009


I like to watch videos like that with the sound off. it's even sillier that way, and you don't get the awful music stuck in your head.

But then I'm another one of those who was in a different 80s
posted by 5_13_23_42_69_666 at 12:47 PM on May 31, 2009 [2 favorites]


I don't know what you people are upset about. It's everything cool COMBINED!
posted by P.o.B. at 1:28 PM on May 31, 2009


Coilhouse is fantastic.
posted by Hutch at 1:45 PM on May 31, 2009


Indeed it is, like Richard Beymer’s Twin Peaks Gallery post.
posted by P.o.B. at 1:53 PM on May 31, 2009


I wonder if those Mickey Mice were fully licensed from Disney.
posted by bendybendy at 2:11 PM on May 31, 2009


I think I had a different 80s.

Watch it, do we really want to see the usual wank about how Robert Smith murdered rock music in the library with the pipe and buried it along with everything good?
posted by KirkJobSluder at 3:35 PM on May 31, 2009


I wonder if those Mickey Mice were fully licensed from Disney.

No need for a license. It was a parody.
posted by ericb at 5:05 PM on May 31, 2009


Oh wow. That was some thick, concentrated eighties. I'll bet you could whip a fresh batch of eighties if you diluted this video in twenty gallons of water or so.

Imagine the horror you could unleash by diluting it to homeopathic levels.
posted by five fresh fish at 6:12 PM on May 31, 2009


For some reason every prop/fake Rubik's cube I've seen has a similar problem.

Probably avoids a whole lot of litigation.
posted by five fresh fish at 6:16 PM on May 31, 2009


I really like the shoes in that video. I got totally distracted by the shiny, and now I look at my regular runners in disgust.
posted by selenized at 6:18 PM on May 31, 2009 [1 favorite]


I'm not going to be able to get the term "uber groiny" out of my head for days now.
posted by 5MeoCMP at 7:24 PM on May 31, 2009


Oh, those Coilhouse kids ...


GET OFF MY LAWN!

:-)
posted by aldus_manutius at 12:54 PM on June 1, 2009


Bruno Broccoli will be the name of my next cat.
posted by hippugeek at 8:04 PM on June 1, 2009


DAMN. There are so many songs ripped off here, it's like Girl Talk.
(but the most ripped off song has got to be "You Belong To The City" - one of the most heinous pop hits of all time.)

Glenn Frey released "You Belong To The City" in 1985, "Crilù" was released in 1984...
posted by iviken at 2:36 PM on June 2, 2009


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