Rewards of Motherhood

June 1, 2009 7:58 PM

"You are setting an example for all society and you continue the tradition of parental service which has been customary in our country for centuries," so quoth Russian President Medvedev upon presenting the Order of Parental Glory to eight families. The medals are part of a campaign to encourage Russians to reproduce to offset the steep anticipated population decline in that country.

Not everyone supports (NSFW) the award.

The award hearkens back to the Soviet era Order of the Mother Heroine. Russia isn't giving this one out anymore, but you can still get the t-shirt.

posted by jeoc (20 comments total)

in russia, vagina plays with you.
posted by kitchenrat at 8:04 PM on June 1

they'll need them as fodder in the robot wars.
posted by jimmythefish at 8:11 PM on June 1 [1 favorite]

Too drunk to fuck?
posted by Joe Beese at 8:16 PM on June 1

If there's anything that would make it worthwhile to take on the expense, physical wear and tear, sleep loss, noise, and general stress of having a huge litter of kids, it's a shiny medal.
posted by brain_drain at 8:23 PM on June 1 [2 favorites]

Okay, two things:

1) Complex socio-economic problems tend - and I say this with no supporting research, just a crazy hunch - not to be solved by awarding medals. The stipends might work a little better, but we're looking at a sticking-plaster-cum-traumatic-amputation style solution here.

2) Nationalism is so passé, so is sprogging the world to the Malthocalypse. Please take your natalist bullshit to another planet, preferably one I don't live on.
posted by Sova at 8:24 PM on June 1 [3 favorites]

IN POST SOVIET RUSSIA, BABY HAS YOU (unless you're smart and use protection)
posted by kldickson at 8:25 PM on June 1

Also, this is fucking creepy. All Russian politicians will heretofore keep at least a 20 foot distance from my vagina.

In practice, this is easy.
posted by kldickson at 8:27 PM on June 1 [1 favorite]

jeoc: " Not everyone supports (NSFW) the award. "

I've been hoping for more Russian-themed pornography ever since Nailin' Palin.
posted by The White Hat at 8:28 PM on June 1

Eh, the Russians are just worried that the fertile Muslims will take over with a few generations, at the current rate. Which they will, of course, insha'allah.
posted by Burhanistan at 8:56 PM on June 1

I heard a report on this at lunchtime, and the bit that made me giggle was the notion that a resistence to allowing immigration to pick up the population slack was that "Russians were concerned about immigrants links to organised crime." The irony of stereotyping.

(More disturbing was the assertion that life expectancy for men in Russia was, in some places, approaching late 19th century levels. No wonder Yeltsin and the "free market" reforms are held in such low regard...)
posted by rodgerd at 9:13 PM on June 1

No medals for Russian men who help arrest population decline by abstaining from alcohol and suicide? And of course, medals are much cheaper than addressing rising poverty rates, unemployment, financial insecurity, and corruption.

What we are arguing,” said Omar Noman, an economist for the development fund and one of the report’s contributors, “is that the transition to market economies [in the region] is the biggest … killer we have seen in the 20th century, if you take out famines and wars. The sudden shock and what it did to the system … has effectively meant that five million [Russian men’s] lives have been lost in the 1990s.”
posted by girlgenius at 9:16 PM on June 1

MARRY AND REPRODUCE
posted by The Tensor at 9:21 PM on June 1 [3 favorites]

Forget silly awards. Russia could deal with the alcohol and the population issue simultaneously by just going Mormon.
posted by grounded at 10:08 PM on June 1 [1 favorite]

Don't think the LDS isn't trying. Though it seems Russia doesn't want them.
posted by pmbuko at 10:17 PM on June 1

favoriting tensor so hard...
posted by You Can't Tip a Buick at 10:38 PM on June 1

That tshirt is in the uncanny valley between genuinely cool and ironically cool.
posted by DU at 4:35 AM on June 2 [1 favorite]

I don't want children. But if I could get an erection, that would warrant a medal at this point.
posted by Joe Beese at 5:32 AM on June 2

Pretty sure you want this thread.
posted by DU at 6:09 AM on June 2

Hitler did that as well.
Just confirms that today's Russia is sliding into fascism again.
posted by fordiebianco at 8:34 AM on June 2

I only wish I had seen that t-shirt before Mother's Day. *sigh* There's always next year.
posted by grapefruitmoon at 3:14 PM on June 2