Skip

Random TV Plot Generators
June 2, 2009 12:51 PM   Subscribe

On TV on any given night:
Party Baby: Game show contestants with a shoe box full of cash, combating threats to our rain forest, almost always confused by what's going on, find out that even when you lose, you win.
Star Trek: The Next Generation: Whlist studying a pre-warp civilization, Wesley falls ill when the Enterprise encounters an apparent duplicate of Riker which is in fact a holographic simulation, so Riker delivers a phaser blast, which means everything turns out okay, though Picard has had to deal with children. Then, finally Guinan says something cliche and they leave at warp factor five.
...or, try your luck*.
*[previously on a very special MetaFilter. Other generators sold separately.]
posted by not_on_display (27 comments total) 5 users marked this as a favorite

 
Whlist ferrying bigwigs about Commander Data encounters some kind of spacetime rift thingy which is in fact not what it seems—as well as Q which pisses them about as a test and makes the crew act funny, throws the ship thousands of light years off course, depletes the shields to 5%, and picks off random crew members so they do something ludicrous and work out a cunning bluff and so their opponent dies, which means everything turns out okay, and Data learns a little more about the human condition. Then, finally Guinan says something witty and they leave at warp factor six.


Fail. Guninan never said anything witty.
posted by The Whelk at 12:55 PM on June 2, 2009


House.
posted by CheeseDigestsAll at 1:01 PM on June 2, 2009 [3 favorites]


My personal favorite is the Trek TOS one, which spits out

turns out to be _______ and vulnerable to violence

periodically, because aren't we all?
posted by theclaw at 1:08 PM on June 2, 2009


No, House.
posted by The Whelk at 1:09 PM on June 2, 2009 [2 favorites]


I must admit, I'm only vaguely aware of Star Trek. What is with the repeated whlist typo on every single plot generation?
posted by AmberV at 1:25 PM on June 2, 2009


I was trying to remember who did the Essence of House comment fable, The Whelk.

This is fun, it's like Markov TV.

Easy Hooper
An over-the-hill rock star and his comatose drug dealer in a futuristic metropolis, incredibly naive about the way the world works, discover a magical internet chat room. Featuring Mark Harmon.


I might watch that, actually.
posted by Rock Steady at 1:28 PM on June 2, 2009 [3 favorites]


What is with the repeated whlist typo on every single plot generation?

That's not a typo, actually -- "whilst" is a common British-English word that basically means "while" or "meanwhile".
posted by EmpressCallipygos at 1:31 PM on June 2, 2009


Yes, but "whlist" is not a common British-English word. I'm sure it just got typed that way into whatever text file the randomizer uses to feed itself.
posted by Rock Steady at 1:50 PM on June 2, 2009


Offtopic, but the Star Trek TNG cut-ups (previously) are up to number 24... #19 and 20 are especially good.
posted by anthill at 2:09 PM on June 2, 2009 [1 favorite]


So I'm doing some thinking about my new hot TV property, Easy Hooper. I think the rock star (Mark Harmon as Ezekiel "Easy" Hooper) is actually from 2009, and was sent forwards in time to 2275 as a result of a botched anti-aging procedure. He's been clean since some kind of devastating drug-fueled disaster in the late 80's (we don't find out just what that disaster was until 2nd season sweeps), but it turns out his old dealer - Stosh "Stash" Wiznarczek - is still alive. His body is comatose, but his consciousness resides in a small robot-like "biomech" (think Bender crossed with Gollum). Easy has no idea what is going on, and runs into Stash in some sleazy bac alley, where Easy is hiding from some NeoNeo punks that tried to kill him for his antique Fender, and Stash is trying to sell some Liquid Orgasm to a group of Harajukus.

Turns out life in 2275 is a lot like life in 2009 (terror fears, pandemics, econocrash, healthcare sucks), except for one thing. There is no music. Due to the efforts of the RIAA and their ilk, the music industry totally crashed in the 2020s, and even casual, hobbyist musicians faded away by the early 22nd Century. Stash becomes convinced that Easy has been sent to the future to return music to the world. He sets up a few gigs for him (booked primarily as a novelty retro act), but due to the audience's unfamiliarity with the concept and Easy's difficulty getting back on the stage, he's a total bomb.

The big turn around comes when Easy and Stash find an online community of real, actual musicians! Called MetaMusic, it's been active since the late 2000s, and the participants passed on their love of music to their kids, grandkids, and a few musically inclined disciples. Easy thinks these musicians could save the world with their music, but none of them have ever actually played together. Thus begins Easy's epic quest to get the band back together for the first time in centuries.

Questions: Who do we cast as Easy's love interest? Who is the voice of Stash, and what cast members from Summer School are available for cameos?
posted by Rock Steady at 2:16 PM on June 2, 2009 [8 favorites]


Nice attempt, but it's no TV Go Home.
posted by Artw at 2:49 PM on June 2, 2009


You enter sick bay. Beverley is attending to someone else. Startled, you see that it is Jadzia Dax. They both look up for an instant and then away. You seem to have interrupted a private moment. Then Jadzia fixes Beverley with a look you can’t quite read, and they both smile and beckon you over…

Wait. Am I misreading the intent of this?
posted by Durn Bronzefist at 2:55 PM on June 2, 2009 [3 favorites]


'Chekov is injured in a shuttlecraft accident in the center of the galaxy. This leaves Captain Kirk with no choice but to violate the Prime Directive.'

'Scotty develops unusual powers on a Romulan ship. Can Captain Kirk solve the problem with an inspiring speech about the nature of humanity?'
posted by kldickson at 3:02 PM on June 2, 2009


The other Dax was the cute one. Wait, what?
posted by Artw at 3:03 PM on June 2, 2009


Whlist investigating a doomed world Scotty falls ill when the Enterprise encounters an apparent conman which is in fact not what it seems—as well as a horde of little things which tries to ingest everything and drains the dilithium crystals and picks off the security guards but their opponent turns out to be well-meaning and vulnerable to a good talking to and so the guest star dies a heroic death, which means everything turns out okay, and the planet is saved in the nick of time. Then, finally Bones says something snappy and they leave at warp factor five.

I fucking LOVE that episode!!
posted by Devils Rancher at 3:10 PM on June 2, 2009


Pro-Tip for that awesome tvtropes generator that I'd somehow never come across before:

When exploring the ideas, open them in a new tab, otherwise you will lose the set.

Otherwise, this is pretty rad.
posted by Navelgazer at 3:49 PM on June 2, 2009


Party Like Us
Sexy African elephants and a homeless schizophrenic who are crazy for animation film festivals, and are notoriously bad cooks, discover a magical internet chat room.

Hey, it's like a documentary about the origins of MetaFilter.
posted by signalnine at 4:14 PM on June 2, 2009 [5 favorites]


http://www.xibalba.demon.co.uk/jbr/trek/gen.html

"Whilst ferrying bigwigs about, the crew of the USS Enterprise falls in love when the Enterprise encounters an apparent duplicate of Kirk who is in fact a shapechanger as well as a Romulan captain with a grudge who ambushes them and depletes the dilithium crystals but their opponent turns out to be mad and vulnerable to a good talking-to and so Scotty jury-rigs the engines, which means everything turns out okay, though a few regulations have been broken. Then, finally Chekov says something smug, and the Enterprise leaves at warp factor nine."
posted by kldickson at 4:15 PM on June 2, 2009


Setting: Landmarking The Hidden Base
Plot: Along Came A Spider
Narrative Device: He Had It Coming
Hero: Plucky Girl
Villain: Dark Action Girl
Character As Device: Flying Dutchman
Characterization Device: Schedule Fanatic

Hm. Might make a good re-write of 'Charlotte's Web'.
posted by Kronos_to_Earth at 5:06 PM on June 2, 2009


The Star Trek one is a clear-cut case of apparent-duplicate–filter.
posted by Mister_A at 6:58 PM on June 2, 2009


Setting: Ominous Floating Castle
Plot: Cutting The Knot
Narrative Device: Two Scenes One Dialogue
Hero: Genius Bruiser
Villain: Knight Of Cerebus
Character As Device: Screaming Woman
Characterization Device: Masked Luchador

I totally thought that was "lunchador" and I was all "no wonder that woman was screaming..."
posted by jessamyn at 7:00 PM on June 2, 2009 [1 favorite]


Easy White Guy
Young, good-looking AOL stockholders and their cannibalistic neighbors somewhere in the Everglades, and loving it, discover a magical internet chat room.

Featuring Joyce DeWitt (Three's Company). (CC-Español)
posted by dhartung at 7:11 PM on June 2, 2009


Whlist studying a pre-warp civilization, Wesley falls ill when the Enterprise encounters an apparent duplicate of Riker

WWWWD?*

*What Would Wil Wheaton Do? Someone go over to Fark and fetch him so we can find out.
posted by MikeMc at 8:18 PM on June 2, 2009


The tvtropes generator is giving me a lot of mileage; with the links they provide, I'm actually learning stuff (in spite of myself).
posted by not_on_display at 7:47 AM on June 3, 2009


That sitcom pilot generator is endless laffs.

Doctor Like Us
A nursing home full of oddballs in a futuristic metropolis, battling wild mood swings, learn a important lesson about plastics recycling.

Find out what the critics are talking about! (midseason replacement)


Gold.
posted by Potomac Avenue at 9:23 AM on June 3, 2009


"Whlist on leave the guest star encounters a social problem formerly considered extinct—as well as something shapeless which tries to destroy them and puts them in a terrible ethical dilemma so they do something ludicrous and work out a cunning ruse and so their opponent leaves, which means everything turns out okay, and everybody forgets it ever happened. Then, finally Riker says something irrelevant and they leave at warp factor five."

I think I have actually watched this.
posted by jaduncan at 3:02 AM on June 4, 2009


Stuie: Whuh-ill Whuh-eaton.

Capt. Picard: Why are you putting so much emphasis on the "h"?
posted by humboldt32 at 11:08 AM on June 4, 2009


« Older Fire and Ass   |   Men who like to hear themselves talk? Newer »


This thread has been archived and is closed to new comments



Post