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Susan Hires A Boss
June 4, 2009 11:30 AM   Subscribe

Susan is currently looking for work. But in this case, instead of asking someone to hire her, Susan is looking to hire a boss. If you're a boss interested in this opportunity, you can apply here.
posted by ShawnStruck (194 comments total) 16 users marked this as a favorite

 
Where do those bobble-headed icons come from?
posted by boo_radley at 11:33 AM on June 4, 2009 [2 favorites]


I don't know, but they're generated from templates and I kind of hate them.
posted by dunkadunc at 11:34 AM on June 4, 2009 [1 favorite]


I was all ready to say that Susan needs to be her own boss, and the problem is solved, then I read this:
So are there any real qualifications for this job? I’ve thought about it quite a bit over the last few weeks. And the only clear almost un-negotiable one I could come up with is that you have to be a guy
Nice.
posted by cjorgensen at 11:35 AM on June 4, 2009 [11 favorites]


Wow, talk about putting it all out there.
posted by blucevalo at 11:36 AM on June 4, 2009


Why was I fully expecting to see a vector image of her likeness, and fully expecting to see thick framed eyewear?

And why was I correct on both counts?
posted by Bathtub Bobsled at 11:36 AM on June 4, 2009 [7 favorites]


I'll do it.
How much does she pay?
posted by Floydd at 11:36 AM on June 4, 2009 [22 favorites]


Quick background check: I’m wrapping up six amazing months studying with Seth Godin in New York. Nine people, no textbooks, tons of lessons, one life-changing adventure. Honored to have been a part of what is the most selective and rewarding MBA program in the country. (Or the world!)

Oh she is a product of the "Seth Godin MBA" where you intern for free with a self-promoting twat rather then taking a bunch of classes.

Oh Well, welcome to the real world.
My superpower is getting things done. I am The Producer.

I like to create things. I have a whole closet full of fabric. I own crayons. I have every color of paint they make. I am good at matching.
WOW what a unique skill set! Of course, since she has a set of rich and well connected friends she'll probably have no trouble getting a job. Fried Wilson, a well known venture capitalist has said he'd hire someone with a "Seth Godin MBA", for example.
posted by delmoi at 11:37 AM on June 4, 2009 [12 favorites]


So are there any real qualifications for this job? I’ve thought about it quite a bit over the last few weeks. And the only clear almost un-negotiable one I could come up with is that you have to be a guy. A guy who’s been in a serious and stable relationship for a significant period of time. That’s it. Every boss I’ve worked with well has met that criterion. Weird, huh?

Yes, Susan, that is weird. The only thing weirder than that is that you'd make it a non-negotiable criterion. What a grossly inappropriate thing to say.
posted by Optimus Chyme at 11:40 AM on June 4, 2009 [15 favorites]


my boss always wants me to step on them. i like how they change the tone of the workplace after i do.
posted by the aloha at 11:40 AM on June 4, 2009


Would this somehow have something to do with Godin's Permission Marketing?
posted by dunkadunc at 11:40 AM on June 4, 2009


And can we interview her husband to find out if she's good in bed? Not that I am interested, but you know, this is a valuable skill to have, and might come in handy when it's time to unruffle some customer's feathers. Also, is she hot? I don't want some ugly loser chick working for me.

I'm sorry the above makes me look like a petty sexist pig, but in fairness, she started it.
posted by cjorgensen at 11:41 AM on June 4, 2009 [6 favorites]


Sure, I need a prep cook who will pick up some lunchtime dishwashing shifts.
posted by elwoodwiles at 11:43 AM on June 4, 2009 [5 favorites]


Interestingly enough, her trendy vector image bears only a vague resemblance to her real-life appearance.
posted by dunkadunc at 11:44 AM on June 4, 2009


I’ll need your protection when I ruffle feathers.

Oh, she's one of those.
posted by ook at 11:44 AM on June 4, 2009 [15 favorites]


Would she be a good secretary?
posted by cjorgensen at 11:45 AM on June 4, 2009 [1 favorite]


Egads -- another one of those girls who thinks she's too special to sleep her way to the top like the rest of us.
posted by grounded at 11:45 AM on June 4, 2009 [11 favorites]


Rare feeling to find yourself siding with the cold forces of unbridled capitalism, hoping they complete the soul-crushing alienation of a hapless seller of wage-labour.
posted by Abiezer at 11:46 AM on June 4, 2009 [59 favorites]


While I certainly appreciate her ability to standout from the crowd, this statement approximates the somewhat naive, utopian outlook I had shortly after getting my B.A.:

. . . because I want a job that makes me happy to roll out of bed every day. One where amazing is a daily thing. One where I make a difference in the world.

. . . and then you realize that making a difference in the world and having an amazing day--every day--is just not realistic, and my career hopes and expectations matured from there.
posted by eggman at 11:47 AM on June 4, 2009 [4 favorites]


I don't think I would want her ruffling my feathers, somehow.
posted by dunkadunc at 11:48 AM on June 4, 2009


Egads -- another one of those girls who thinks she's too special to sleep her way to the top like the rest of us.

She got a BA and Master's in journalism in the mid 90's and has been tenuously employed since. She put stars in her hair and she puffs up her apple-cheeks when she smiles (look at her linked-in profile).

She doesn't need to sleep with anybody... dad's got money. Bet on it.

I could write a 14 page case study just on what I've learned in the last twenty minutes.
posted by Bathtub Bobsled at 11:51 AM on June 4, 2009 [8 favorites]


She falls short of eliciting as much disdain in me as Seth Godin does, but just barely.

And under "Companies I love Not" she lists google, or as the URL labels it, "bad companies." I think she needs a lesson in plurality. And her reason for hating google? They won't have her because they want smart conformist corporate type people.
posted by cjorgensen at 11:51 AM on June 4, 2009


. . . because I want a job that makes me happy to roll out of bed every day. One where amazing is a daily thing. One where I make a difference in the world.

I'd hate to hear what her expectations for a significant other are.
posted by orange swan at 11:53 AM on June 4, 2009 [1 favorite]


She and whoever responds to this horseshit deserve each other.
posted by dirtdirt at 11:54 AM on June 4, 2009 [10 favorites]


Her site is one of those "why-didn't-I-think-of-that" things that quickly turns into "on second thought, this is not a good idea." Or maybe it's not a bad idea, but it's executed poorly here. Eye-catching yes, but when it comes down to what exactly she can actually do, I'm a bit lost. She links to a video of an enlightened stupid marketer, and mentions her disdain for such people. But when you look at her skills, they're pretty much in line with the marketing-babble in the vid.
posted by nushustu at 11:55 AM on June 4, 2009 [6 favorites]


Do I get to fire her after she hires me? I could do that.
posted by Blazecock Pileon at 11:55 AM on June 4, 2009 [4 favorites]


here is her comment about not wanting to work for a woman. And there's more to it then that.
And the only clear almost un-negotiable one I could come up with is that you have to be a guy. A guy who’s been in a serious and stable relationship for a significant period of time. That’s it. Every boss I’ve worked with well has met that criterion. Weird, huh?
What a ridiculous criteria. If she were actually hiring someone, rather then looking for a job, this would of course be completely illegal, both on the gender (obviously) and possibly the relationship requirement.

With that kind of attitude, don't you think if she ever was in a position to promote someone to management, she would pick a man? After all, if she'd rather work for a man she must think they're better managers.

That kind of casual sexism is really shocking coming from a woman. I find it kind of disgusting.
posted by delmoi at 11:56 AM on June 4, 2009 [18 favorites]


If I've learned one thing about metafilter it's that I really hope she sees these hits in her weblogs, ponies up the $5, and shows up to defend her position in this thread.
posted by cjorgensen at 11:56 AM on June 4, 2009 [18 favorites]


I don't watch 30 Rock. Is Liz Lemon like this? For some reason, I thought she might be.
posted by Joe Beese at 11:59 AM on June 4, 2009


dad's got money. Bet on it.

I'm going to second that. Also, I think she would make a great barista at a coffee shop in Brooklyn.
posted by gagglezoomer at 11:59 AM on June 4, 2009 [4 favorites]


Her site is one of those "why-didn't-I-think-of-that" things that quickly turns into "on second thought, this is not a good idea." Or maybe it's not a bad idea, but it's executed poorly here.

Having a "hire me I'm awesome" website isn't a bad idea. But having a "I'm so fucking awesome you should be BEGGING me to work for you" is... not. Especially when your only work product seems to be a giant ego and a run of the mill blog.

It makes sense that, say Happy Cog Studios makes you fill out a giant questionnaire and wait to weeks to hire them, because they're obviously very good at what they do and don't want to waste their time. But this girl is just nothing but ego.
posted by delmoi at 12:00 PM on June 4, 2009


Must love dogs.

I love dogs but it's certainly the last trait that I would ever expect anyone I work with, let alone a boss, to share.
posted by blucevalo at 12:02 PM on June 4, 2009


If I've learned one thing about metafilter it's that I really hope she sees these hits in her weblogs, ponies up the $5, and shows up to defend her position in this thread.

I actually know far more about this subject than I think you can imagine.
posted by Night_owl at 12:02 PM on June 4, 2009 [4 favorites]


Don't Rain on My Parade!
posted by phrontist at 12:03 PM on June 4, 2009


Lol, check out this excerpt from her personal blog:
Can anyone tell me how the memory of these people is served by taking the land from the owners to build the memorial? It's an irony that the people on Flight 93 died trying to protect others, but the land owners find themselves entirely without protection as the park service makes a land grab.
Talk about making a category error.
posted by delmoi at 12:03 PM on June 4, 2009


This is a clever idea that could totally maybe work for someone who, y'know, has some real demonstrable talents. And isn't a douche. Or casually sexist.
posted by The Esteemed Doctor Bunsen Honeydew at 12:06 PM on June 4, 2009


So she's not looking for a job, she's looking for a (male) boss. Odd.
posted by Elmore at 12:10 PM on June 4, 2009 [1 favorite]


I’ll need your protection when I ruffle feathers.

I'll do everything in my power to make your job easier. FTFH
posted by digsrus at 12:11 PM on June 4, 2009


boo_radley (and whoever else)

faceyourmanga.com is one place that generates the icons. I'm sure there are others.
posted by tyllwin at 12:14 PM on June 4, 2009 [2 favorites]


I took the job but then, fired myself...she was too needy.
posted by HuronBob at 12:14 PM on June 4, 2009 [1 favorite]


If you have a problem -- if no one else can help -- and if you can find her -- maybe you can hire...some random hipster chick.
posted by kittens for breakfast at 12:14 PM on June 4, 2009 [14 favorites]


Too bad I'm not a guy. I am swamped at work because my assistant has been out for two months following heart surgery and the filling and other tasks are really stacking up!

I could see how this would work if her web page actually had examples of she has totally kicked ass previously.

She's a producer: let's hear about some examples.

She interviewed a football player when he was in high school yet she links to the guy's wikipedia page instead of a pdf or link to the actual article. (and did she go out and get the story or was it assigned to her?)

I'm most impressed that she does "social media." WOW! I do social media too! I'm metafiltering at work! I just wrote a tweet! I clicked "like" on someone's Facebook status this morning. (I even have more Facebook friends than she does!)
posted by vespabelle at 12:16 PM on June 4, 2009 [4 favorites]


Why can't she just go on The Apprentice like normal rabid self-promoting attention seekers people
posted by fearfulsymmetry at 12:16 PM on June 4, 2009


Wow. So this is why the word "insufferable" was created.
posted by Marisa Stole the Precious Thing at 12:17 PM on June 4, 2009 [11 favorites]


How do you reconcile being a Marketing Guru and someone who Gets Shit Done?
posted by mkb at 12:19 PM on June 4, 2009 [7 favorites]


I have so many snarks to make, but meh. What I want to know is how she can afford to screw around for a year without a paycheque as one of Godin's 12 disciples students.
posted by GuyZero at 12:19 PM on June 4, 2009


Also, I ,loathe the word "doggie mommy." You know what you are if you're a "doggie mommy?"

That's right - you're a bitch.
posted by GuyZero at 12:21 PM on June 4, 2009 [9 favorites]


I could also use a hostess...
posted by elwoodwiles at 12:23 PM on June 4, 2009


Doing it the old way never gets amazing.
posted by xod at 12:27 PM on June 4, 2009


Why, when reading over her "Apply to Become My Boss" page, am I reminded of Mary Romantic and this guy?
posted by Bora Horza Gobuchul at 12:28 PM on June 4, 2009 [4 favorites]


Gosh Dang! I don't understand all of the negativity here. She only has positive comments from others on her own site.
posted by boots77 at 12:31 PM on June 4, 2009 [6 favorites]


Interestingly enough, her trendy vector image bears only a vague resemblance to her real-life appearance.

Is that interesting. I'd be surprised to find that someone did resemble their gag-inducing thumbnail.
posted by adamdschneider at 12:33 PM on June 4, 2009


My application:

I've read enough of your site to know you're comedy gold! I am qualified because I have a penis, but sorry, I'm an atheist, and Norwegian Lutheran raised, so kinky things like chocolate and peanut butter are out.

You can find me on google, (Oh yes you can), and I can't wait to find you on twitter. Metafilter is going to love to know you use twitter!

How much per minute will the video chat cost me?

It's me and my cat. She hates pretty near everyone though, so this might be a show stopper.

Can't wait to hear from you! Glad to know you don't even bother listing what kind of work you're looking for. I'm thinking someone to change the litter box, clean the bathroom, pick up my dirty clothes, do some laundry, dishes, gardening, sewing, etc. You know, women's work.

(above is my poor attempt at satire. I agree with delmoi that sexism is disgusting)

I wonder at what point we'll kill her chances? Would you want to be the company that hires her and gets the followup thread? I also have a feeling this will make some fluff news cycles.

And I so did not need to know that "Mary Romantic" link existed.
posted by cjorgensen at 12:33 PM on June 4, 2009 [1 favorite]


The company she wants to work for will prioritize:

Improving the world, even if it’s just by employing people.

Uh... don't set your standards too high.
posted by arcticwoman at 12:35 PM on June 4, 2009


You know who else wanted to improve the world by hiring people? That's right, Seth Godin.
posted by cjorgensen at 12:36 PM on June 4, 2009


Wow. So this is why the word "insufferable" was created.

Yeah, that's the word that leaped immediately to my mind.
posted by brundlefly at 12:36 PM on June 4, 2009


Sing it, Sue.
posted by fearfulsymmetry at 12:37 PM on June 4, 2009


As for the dog thing, I once interviewed at a company that heavily advertised that it was dog-friendly. (Very heavily, like subway station billboards)

They laid off 30% of their staff a month after I would have been hired. Hrmm...
posted by mkb at 12:42 PM on June 4, 2009


The line break on item 10 of the "application" seems intentional.
I show up for work full of excitement and am proven correct in my choice. I then proceed to blow you
away and we're both thrilled.

posted by sanko at 12:45 PM on June 4, 2009 [4 favorites]


Mother of mercy! Someone tell her that using a 1 MB background image is not a great way to construct a web page.
posted by Mur at 12:47 PM on June 4, 2009 [5 favorites]


Improving the world, even if it’s just by employing people. And you have a penis. In a long term relationship.
posted by xod at 12:47 PM on June 4, 2009 [1 favorite]


I see the line break after "away" here, thankfully. And Ctrl + U shows no intentional line break in the middle of that sentence.
posted by Marisa Stole the Precious Thing at 12:48 PM on June 4, 2009


Gosh Dang! I don't understand all of the negativity here. She only has positive comments from others on her own site.

Apparently the editorial position is no longer open.
posted by Blazecock Pileon at 12:49 PM on June 4, 2009 [1 favorite]


Wait, you can "hire" people to pay you? I've been doing it backwards all these years.
posted by xingcat at 12:49 PM on June 4, 2009 [1 favorite]


Her rant about why google is a bad company is fucking inane.
posted by HumanComplex at 12:54 PM on June 4, 2009 [3 favorites]


And under "Companies I love Not" she lists google, or as the URL labels it, "bad companies." I think she needs a lesson in plurality. And her reason for hating google? They won't have her because they want smart conformist corporate type people.

And because all of their employees who had high college GPAs were nerds with no social life! And she wants Trent Reznor to be her totally cool boss! And she's really bent out of shape by poor visual design--but then she uses a huge not-tiling image as her background.

I wouldn't hire her. Or be hired by her. Or . . . whatever.
posted by PhoBWanKenobi at 12:56 PM on June 4, 2009


I am a doggie mommy. You will love my dog.

This is where my loathing became a concrete, unchangeable thing.
posted by longsleeves at 12:56 PM on June 4, 2009 [25 favorites]


I can't seem to stuff Narcissismzard here back into this goddam poké ball...
posted by Cool Papa Bell at 12:57 PM on June 4, 2009 [23 favorites]


Her rant about why google is a bad company is fucking inane.

But how? She makes three - count 'em, 3! - points. And they are:

1. Judging applicants based on their GPAs is wrong because that only includes people who were good at school and weren't like, expanding their horizons socially our doing inverted keg stands or pulling down gravity hits while discussing the Kaballah and Robert Anton Wilson.

2. Gmail is still in beta! I mean, she uses Gmail, but whatever.

3. Something about impersonal management.

So there. In your FACE, dude. I bet you couldn't handle being her boss. She tells it like it is!
posted by Marisa Stole the Precious Thing at 1:01 PM on June 4, 2009 [11 favorites]


She got a BA and Master's in journalism in the mid 90's and has been tenuously employed since.

Ah, so this is yet another stealth book proposal.
posted by Lentrohamsanin at 1:02 PM on June 4, 2009


If I wanted to look at someone in my office every day with an ego that large, I would just save myself some money and buy a mirror.
posted by flarbuse at 1:05 PM on June 4, 2009 [4 favorites]


Why does this feel inordinately like an D/s relationship to me?
posted by LSK at 1:07 PM on June 4, 2009


Please don't miss this: Her application to become one of Seth's disciples.
posted by Houstonian at 1:08 PM on June 4, 2009


Sometimes, I find the MeFi snark machine tiresome.

Not this time! Shine on, you crazy haters!
posted by Zed at 1:08 PM on June 4, 2009 [40 favorites]


"I'm a doggie daddy."

God, I love dogs and imagining myself forming those words makes me want to retch.
posted by blucevalo at 1:09 PM on June 4, 2009 [1 favorite]


Shine on, you crazy haters!

Ah, but are we crazy -- or is it the rest of the world that's crazy?

A conundrum fit for an Al Pacino movie.
posted by blucevalo at 1:11 PM on June 4, 2009


Where do those bobble-headed icons come from?

Faceyourmanga.com?
posted by Reverend John at 1:18 PM on June 4, 2009 [2 favorites]


Michael Scott would apply to be her boss.
posted by ignignokt at 1:18 PM on June 4, 2009 [2 favorites]


Ah, the Seth application. Gotta love it.
The best part? (Outside of getting to hang with Seth for six months, that is.) - The part where Seth says this is going to be about practical application of (drum roll) stuff I'm actually interested in!! I work with accountants right now. I've tried to read books on financial reports and corporate finance. Just can't make it through because that's not where my passion lies. I want to dream big. I want to grow our firm's internal community. I want to find new places to share my thoughts.
This falls perfectly in line with her critique of Google judging applicants based on their GPAs. Her passion doesn't lie with stuff like learning how things work - she wants to hurry up and tackle those big, vague-ass dreams. I think you'll have a hard time attaining what you want if you don't have a clear idea what that is, though, and getting there usually involves learning some mundane, time-consuming details. Sucks, yeah, but oh well. You can always write self-help books.
posted by Marisa Stole the Precious Thing at 1:19 PM on June 4, 2009 [8 favorites]


Wait, I thought Rachel Ray already had a gig. What is she hiring a boss for?
posted by OmieWise at 1:20 PM on June 4, 2009 [1 favorite]


1. Judging applicants based on their GPAs is wrong because that only includes people who were good at school and weren't like, expanding their horizons socially our doing inverted keg stands or pulling down gravity hits while discussing the Kaballah and Robert Anton Wilson.

Eh... as much as I hate to, I have to side with her here. A lower GPA is not always a sign of a love of keg-stands or a lack of skills/intelligence/insight. Some people simply do not thrive in that sort of setting.

Yes, yes... myself included... And I never smoked pot when I discussed Robert Anton Wilson.
posted by brundlefly at 1:20 PM on June 4, 2009


I own crayons.

Oooh, oooh! Me too! Can I be hired now? Clearly, I'm qualified.

Actually, in my line of work, owning crayons does actually demonstrate qualification in the fine arts of the coloring book, also in the "Creating Something to Do In 30 Seconds or Less Before I Lose My Own Head And Throw It Across The Room Would You Please Stop Screaming, OMG" department.

Oh yeah, and I'm interviewing with new families, y'know, in case you wanted a nanny who comes with her own crayons.

posted by grapefruitmoon at 1:21 PM on June 4, 2009


This is all well and good, but what I want to know is, does she play the ukelele?
posted by emelenjr at 1:22 PM on June 4, 2009


Or even the ukulele.
posted by emelenjr at 1:22 PM on June 4, 2009


A lower GPA is not always a sign of a love of keg-stands or a lack of skills/intelligence/insight. Some people simply do not thrive in that sort of setting.

I'm a perfect example of the flaw in GPAs. My first two years of high school I was a crap student. But I got my shit together, studied harder, and pulled myself up into the honor roll for my junior and senior years. GPA-wise, I graduated with a high C average, but that's not an entirely accurate reflection of my academic performance.

Having said that, I seriously doubt the Google application reads "Name:_______ GPA:____" and that's it, so I don't understand why she singles out asking for a data point that many, many companies have asked for over the years.
posted by Marisa Stole the Precious Thing at 1:26 PM on June 4, 2009


Please don't miss this: Her application to become one of Seth's disciples.

Oh, dear after reading that I propose that dictionaries indeed illustrate the word "insufferable" with her picture.
posted by ericb at 1:27 PM on June 4, 2009 [3 favorites]


Christ, what an asshole.
posted by Kelly Tulsa at 1:29 PM on June 4, 2009 [1 favorite]


Her passion doesn't lie with stuff like learning how things work - she wants to hurry up and tackle those big, vague-ass dreams.

She wants "it" now!
"I am guilty of being impatient with the journey. I want to be there already. I'm still pushing for a four-day work week in our office. So I love the idea of something short and intense so we get to where we're actually using what we learn."
posted by ericb at 1:30 PM on June 4, 2009


Two things amaze me:

1. that she can apply for a job without posting her resume; and

2. that 71 comments into this thread, the word 'resume' does not appear.

It really is a shame this recession didn't get worse, because many many people still haven't broken their dotcom bad habits. Qualifications and substantive objective criteria were panned when unemployment was 4.3% and any douchebag with the right parents and a clever, vowel-deficient domain name could get $5 million in startup funding.
Great for Google for setting standards for hiring. But a GPA requirement for anyone not straight out of school (and maybe even then) slices your pool of potential employees down to those who are good at school, spent college with no social life or under-challenged themselves...(For the record, I meet the requirement on both of my degrees. I am very good at school.)
It's a new world now. Google imposes a GPA requirement in tandem with a school requirement. No offense, but while you may be New Mexico State University good at school, I'm not sure if you are 4.0-at-MIT-or-Stanford-in-a-hard-science good at school.

Next, don't try to control the power in your job search. That's sounds empowering and all, but really it's bullshit and we know it to be so. You have no power because you need someone else's money. Again, the dotcom era is dead. Eyeballs don't matter, ideas don't matter. Cash is queen, and gold is king. That means as clever and witty as you think you are, as long as I pay you enough, you'll be content to fetch me coffee and donuts. Don't deny it.

Finally, working with Seth Godin does not teach you marketing. It teaches you hype. It is very easy to demonstrate how great hype works by only discussing those examples when it worked, and conveniently ignoring all the examples when it doesn't. Cuil had a lot of hype. Remember Cuil? Yeah, neither do I.

Marketing is a science, like finance, economics, chemistry and physics. The only difference is that the science of marketing has the error rates of 18th century physics. But it is still a science nonetheless. You want to hire top marketers, the Kellogg School just had its graduation. You want to hire someone who can't keep a job longer than three years and is confused about the nature of the master-servant relationship in the post-crash era, Susan's for you.
posted by Pastabagel at 1:34 PM on June 4, 2009 [18 favorites]


I want to dream big. I want to grow our firm's internal community.

What the heck does that mean? Hire more people? Well, honey, in this economy the trend is just the opposite.

Or, were you using some sort of jargon you picked up in The Complete MBA for Dummies or an issue of Fast Company?
posted by ericb at 1:35 PM on June 4, 2009


Also, I wouldn't be surprised if Susan showed up in this thread.
posted by Pastabagel at 1:36 PM on June 4, 2009


Here's her Twitter if you'd like to follow the self-absorbed ramblings of this trainwreck in real time:
Bio: Fulfilling my generation's mission to question everything. Heavy doses of questions, social media, books, marketing, quilting, indignation and Squidoo.
Seth Godin is a cancer.
posted by dhammond at 1:37 PM on June 4, 2009


I seriously doubt the Google application reads "Name:_______ GPA:____" and that's it

For better or worse, I'm fairly certain that they use GPA as a major criterion for filtering applicants.
posted by Blazecock Pileon at 1:38 PM on June 4, 2009


I wouldn't be surprised if Susan showed up in this thread.

Why you do this thing.
posted by Marisa Stole the Precious Thing at 1:40 PM on June 4, 2009 [5 favorites]


I know the perfect boss for her!

Susan, meet Aleksey Vayner (previous MeFi thread). He's got a penis and an ego as large as yours.
posted by ericb at 1:40 PM on June 4, 2009 [2 favorites]


I'm fairly certain that they use GPA as a major criterion for filtering applicants.

It does look that way. Still, I can't see this as a bad thing per se. It's tough, maybe a little unfair, but not unreasonable. I think there was an FPP here not too long ago about some other more sinister reasons why Google is a bad company.
posted by Marisa Stole the Precious Thing at 1:42 PM on June 4, 2009


My superpower is getting things done. It's an exceedingly rare and critical superpower.

I battle the agent of chaos. I overdeliver. I delight. I amaze.

And I'm looking for a place in need of a superhero like me.


=

you will fire me on my second day for doing coke in the bathroom and swearing at your mom on the phone
posted by clockzero at 1:44 PM on June 4, 2009 [23 favorites]


hahaha, from her "application" to the Seth MBA:
The best part? (Outside of getting to hang with Seth for six months, that is.) - The part where Seth says this is going to be about practical application of (drum roll) stuff I'm actually interested in!! I work with accountants right now. I've tried to read books on financial reports and corporate finance. Just can't make it through because that's not where my passion lies. I want to dream big. I want to grow our firm's internal community. I want to find new places to share my thoughts.
So, she couldn't be bothered to learn finance even though that was related to whatever it was she was doing at the time? Or no she couldn't make it through the material, but not because she was dumb but because it wasn't where her passion lay.
Having said that, I seriously doubt the Google application reads "Name:_______ GPA:____" and that's it, so I don't understand why she singles out asking for a data point that many, many companies have asked for over the years.
From what I hear Google is pretty anal about GPAs even long after you've graduated. I've heard stories about Marissa Mayer turning people down for promotions because of GPAs they earned long ago. Kind of ridiculous. I'm sure if you do something amaznig, like start a company they buy that would probably work too. But everything I've heard is that they are very GPA focused and prefer to hire from "top" schools like Stanford, Yale, etc. (even though, ironically those ivy-league schools are more likely to suffer from grade inflation, or so I've heard).
posted by delmoi at 1:45 PM on June 4, 2009


I want a job that makes me happy to roll out of bed every day. One where amazing is a daily thing. One where I make a difference in the world.

Just what we need: one more marketing/PR person thinking they're going to "make a difference in the world".
posted by JaredSeth at 1:47 PM on June 4, 2009 [6 favorites]


From what I hear Google is pretty anal about GPAs even long after you've graduated. I've heard stories about Marissa Mayer turning people down for promotions because of GPAs they earned long ago. Kind of ridiculous.

That is indeed ridiculous.
posted by Marisa Stole the Precious Thing at 1:49 PM on June 4, 2009


A lower GPA is not always a sign of a love of keg-stands or a lack of skills/intelligence/insight. Some people simply do not thrive in that sort of setting.

It's possible that Google thinks that their work setting is similar enough to a challenging academic setting that a high GPA from a top school is a major indicator of how well people will perform there. Google has the luxury of having an extremely talented pool of people who apply for jobs there, so being able to breeze through a degree program could reasonably be a minimum requirement for giving someone an interview.
posted by burnmp3s at 1:50 PM on June 4, 2009


From her application...

I looked in to my options to teach ESL. (I had learned how to speak slowly and sound like a thesaurus, so I knew I could do it. :-) My church had a program working with the refugees in the neighborhood around the church (betcha didn't know we had refugees in Dallas, did ya'? I never did until I joined this church.), but I knew I would never keep up with it if I had to drive all the way over there. So I found a session that was right by my house and started teaching there.

I am torn. It's actually a decent thing to go to Sudan, accusations of poverty tourism aside. And teaching ESL to immigrants is a great thing to do. However, admitting that you're ignorant of refugees in the same breath kinda undercuts that.

Aside from being insufferably twee, she may actually be a decent person who has a lot of energy and talks a lot but simply lacks any concrete skills thus she find the idea of talking on someone else's behalf (organizing, "social marketing") very appealing.

Dear Susan: competent people need people with concrete skills and they can talk for themselves. You need an actual skill. Have you thought about teaching ESL full-time? Perhaps too pedestrian for your tastes.
posted by GuyZero at 1:50 PM on June 4, 2009


I remember Cuil's disaster. I just looked at it now and every single result had a totally irrelevant image next to it. Classy.
posted by mkb at 1:53 PM on June 4, 2009


Or, were you using some sort of jargon you picked up in The Complete MBA for Dummies or an issue of Fast Company?

Actually, she expresses that she is a Twitter devotee, and no offense to Twitter, but this kind of meaning-free jargon appears in spammy Twitter bios almost constantly.
posted by blucevalo at 1:53 PM on June 4, 2009


I've heard stories about Marissa Mayer turning people down for promotions because of GPAs they earned long ago. Kind of ridiculous.

I heard that Donny Osmond was actually a Satanist. And Cher eats baby wombats.

Google isn't somehow immune from the politics that infuses all workplaces to some degree. It has less than many companies. And people love to tell crazy stories about Google, many of which are untrue, heavily biased or, at worst, true but not reflective of the company as a whole.

I have no special insight into Google's hiring practices in general, but if you were given a million resumes and you had to hire 5,000 people you might ask for GPA too because you sure as heck can't interview them all.
posted by GuyZero at 1:55 PM on June 4, 2009 [3 favorites]


From her application, about why she work(ed) for an accounting firm: "Money, security, insurance. My husband works for himself, which means there can be a lot of uncertainty there. My taking a normal job allowed him to go out on his own (increasing both income and security) and gives him freedom and latitude in choosing projects he likes. Am I brave enough to just toss all that? Yes."

So, she's not much of a team player, at least for her home team.
posted by Houstonian at 1:55 PM on June 4, 2009


No one ever talks about one of Google's most challenging hiring practices, which involves a man with a black turtleneck and an eyepatch, a high-powered hunting rifle, 100 acres of jungle, and a three-hour head start. It's pretty gruelling, sure, but anyone capable of fashioning a crude snare out of vines is management material in my book.
posted by Marisa Stole the Precious Thing at 2:06 PM on June 4, 2009 [21 favorites]


6 comments:

Jaguar Julie said...

Susan, you are such an amazing talent and I'm sure you will be a credit to any fine establishment. Your boss will be one lucky person to have you on board!
May 26, 2009 12:07 PM

seedplanter said...

Susan, this is by far the most creative and imaginative resume-blog ever. Your new boss deserves you.
May 26, 2009 2:51 PM

Chris Smith said...

I used to think I was creative until I saw this outstanding online . . . er, uh . . . websume? Looking forward to learning from you.
May 27, 2009 9:38 PM

MiMi said...

Novel approach and a great idea! Hope you find the best boss ever.
May 27, 2009 11:07 PM

Susan said...

Golly, I wish I could hire you! You are me, but younger, better educated, and on steroids. Not literally, but you know. I absolutely can't wait to hear about your very lucky next boss.
May 29, 2009 11:07 AM

emily said...

your imagination is astounding and limitless! your boss-to-be is a lucky person...

48,769 deleted comment:

deleted48,769 said...

Oh my god you are awful.

deleted48,768 said...

I am dumber for having read that shit.

deleted48767 said...

I hope someone sets you on fire.
.

.

.
posted by ND¢ at 2:09 PM on June 4, 2009 [2 favorites]


More like you get 12 balls and a balance scale. You get three measurements. The ball that's a different weight contains the antidote to the poison they put into your free lunch before the interview.
posted by GuyZero at 2:09 PM on June 4, 2009 [11 favorites]


I went to a school that didn't have grades. Or exams. Or pants. How would Google judge one of our alums? I'm asking honestly.
posted by grapefruitmoon at 2:09 PM on June 4, 2009 [1 favorite]


I don't watch 30 Rock. Is Liz Lemon like this? For some reason, I thought she might be.

Naw. For some reason I see Liz attempting to write a resume for a the very first time with someone like Susan "helping" her as a kind of A plot for an episode Liz strikes me as the type who worked shit jobs while doing shows and ended up as a Boss kinda by accident. The big dynamic of the first season is her unwillingness to see herself as "The Man" and awkwardness at being suit material. (Her stumbling gait, her have food in her hair, a love that lives in her mouth, ect.)
posted by The Whelk at 2:09 PM on June 4, 2009 [1 favorite]


She's PROUD of owning crayons and is 'perfectionistic'. This tells me everything I need to know about why I don't ever need to hire or work with someone like her.
posted by sandraregina at 2:11 PM on June 4, 2009 [1 favorite]


Hardly anyone's hiring these days anyway. They're hiring unpaid or under-paid interns, or people right out of college who can be hired on the cheap. The practice of going for top schools only when it's a buyers market, meanwhile, and not looking at any supporting materials is obnoxious. No, it's not like any people from top schools got us into this whole mess! While the execution may be cheesy and loathsome on the whole, the idea of just saying, "Fuck it," and putting it all out there in desperate times has a strong appeal to me, although I wouldn't necessarily try it. I can just live vicariously through someone else for now, at least until I'm feeling really desperate.
posted by raysmj at 2:13 PM on June 4, 2009


Jeez. No wonder she got the "MBA" position. What a complete sycophant.
The best part? (Outside of getting to hang with Seth for six months, that is.)

Who would hire someone this trasparently sucking up?
After three hours, I asked everyone to privately rank their favorite choices... “who would you like to be in the program with you?”

After they left, I tallied up the results. It was just as you might predict: nine or ten people kept coming up over and over in the top picks. I had crowdsourced the selection, and the crowd agreed. (It turns out that the people they picked were also the people I would have picked).
Seth's blog

Oh. A douchebag.
posted by graventy at 2:14 PM on June 4, 2009 [1 favorite]


Frankly, I've seen worse resumes--it looks like she's spent at least three years at most of her positions, and they're not insubstantial jobs or employers, either. But this current cutesy-poo-ness reads like she's either catching up on her quarterlife crisis or getting started early on the midlife crisis.
posted by Halloween Jack at 2:14 PM on June 4, 2009


people who were good at school and weren't like, expanding their horizons socially our doing inverted keg stands or pulling down gravity hits while discussing the Kaballah and Robert Anton Wilson.

People can be both!
posted by The Whelk at 2:16 PM on June 4, 2009 [1 favorite]


Either way, I'm not applying.
posted by Halloween Jack at 2:16 PM on June 4, 2009


Foot that lives in her mouth!

Oy.

...I think I want that last comment to be deleted because I am on vicodin for my tooth pain and need to be away from the comment box now before I hurt someone.
posted by The Whelk at 2:18 PM on June 4, 2009 [1 favorite]


looks like she forgot to update the 06-07 job, since it says 'currently' in several points. also looks like she didn't do very well as a business development manager since she did that for only 7 months .... after being promoted?
posted by lester at 2:23 PM on June 4, 2009


did anybody work out what kind of position she has in mind?

for some reason, i immediately thought "PA", but after clicking around for a couple of minutes i'm still in the dark as to what she actually does, or has experience in, or proposes to do - other than empty phrases like making a difference & being a go-to girl.

i mean, if you can't state upfront what the hell your intended role is, and expect employers to waste half an hour just trying to find the most basic fucking point of any application, then that's nothing but an epic fail, in anybody's books.
posted by UbuRoivas at 2:23 PM on June 4, 2009 [3 favorites]


Actually, I feel sorry for her. It seems she was part of some scam or cult. Here's what Seth advertised:

"One hour a day of class/dialogue; Four hours a day of working on my projects"

" Everyone will get a letter of reference and a certificate worth framing. I think it'll be pretty scarce."

"This is guided quest, one that delivers value to you (from the learning and the doing) and to me (from the teaching and from the work you'll produce."

"To submit a non-returnable physical application, mail it to me.... please enclose a check or money order for $20...."

"In your application, provide insight as to how many other people you told about this opportunity and how many other great people you persuaded to apply."

"Should I pay people who do this? After all, the projects we're doing together are things I'm working on, things that might turn a profit. On the other hand, should you pay a lot to do this?... I can't figure out the right balance between the two, so I decided to make it simple. Free."

He also helpfully gave them a list and links to reading material -- his books.

So, what did they do? Well at least in part, they wrote a blog. With links to Seth's books.
posted by Houstonian at 2:26 PM on June 4, 2009 [12 favorites]


Food that lives in her mouth? Man, that's convenient.
(as for me I am on percoset)
posted by boo_radley at 2:31 PM on June 4, 2009


She seems very smart, well-educated, and experienced. However, this whole gimmick is just way too cute for me. It almost makes me want to disregard her qualifications. Also,

"I am a doggie mommy. You will love my dog."

You know what? I probably would've loved her dog. I love most dogs. But this was so cheesy, it actually made me dislike her dog, sight unseen.
posted by walrus hunter at 2:37 PM on June 4, 2009 [5 favorites]


I don't get it. Is this one of those things like when you wear a giant furry hat and aviator goggles to a nightclub, sidle up to the most attractive woman in the room and make snide comments about her fake nails, and then demand that she buy you a drink, and then she is powerless to resist you?
posted by Metroid Baby at 2:38 PM on June 4, 2009 [17 favorites]


Next, don't try to control the power in your job search. That's sounds empowering and all, but really it's bullshit and we know it to be so. You have no power because you need someone else's money.
It really depends on the economy and the field. And who you are. Look at the happycog "application" to hire them. It looks like it would take hours to fill out and you don't hear back for two weeks.
Marketing is a science, like finance, economics, chemistry and physics.
Bullshit. Name scientific fact in marketing. What repeatable experiments can you do?
The only difference is that the science of marketing has the error rates of 18th century physics.
And what was the "error rate" of 18th century physics, exactly? And by the way, back then physics was a part of "natural philosophy" and the word science simply meant systematic knowledge; it didn't refer to any kind of specific methodology. There was no "scientific method". Of course, a lot of what we now as science was being hashed out by 18th century Natural Philosophers. But still. Marketing is not a science.
posted by delmoi at 2:41 PM on June 4, 2009 [1 favorite]


"Should I pay people who do this? After all, the projects we're doing together are things I'm working on, things that might turn a profit. On the other hand, should you pay a lot to do this?... I can't figure out the right balance between the two, so I decided to make it simple. Free."

Free plus the $20 application fee.
posted by delmoi at 2:43 PM on June 4, 2009


I don't watch 30 Rock. Is Liz Lemon like this?

No. Liz Lemon is likable.
posted by Nattie at 2:45 PM on June 4, 2009


Free plus the $20 application fee.

Beware the selective quoting. It was a $20 donation to his favourite charity if you send in a paper application package. Online applications, like Susan's Squidoo lens, were free.
posted by GuyZero at 2:47 PM on June 4, 2009


For better or worse, I'm fairly certain that they use GPA as a major criterion for filtering applicants.

Well, I can attest that it's not a hard-and-fast rule, as I work at Google and had a less than stellar GPA (2.7 or so, from a tough school but still). However, I had 10 years post-college work experience and a number of great recommendations from inside the company. Really, like any good company, recommendations from existing employees is by far the most important factor -- why hire an unknown when people you already respect say so-and-so is awesome.

However, Google is the only company that has ever asked me for a college _transcript_ (not even the companies I interviewed with while in college --- although that was in the late 90's when the requirement was that you had a pulse), and being asked for that 10 years after graduating certainly surprised me.

Also, we have a pretty good (better than most anyway) track for individual contributors, so people who don't want to be managers aren't forced to in order to advance, so I think her #3 is also pretty off.
posted by wildcrdj at 2:47 PM on June 4, 2009 [2 favorites]


"I am a doggie mommy. You will love my dog."

What's more, she recently lost her dog. Did she have second, healthy dog? Did she get a new dog? Does she require her new boss to simply love the memory of a dog he's never met? It is a mystery.
posted by Metroid Baby at 2:49 PM on June 4, 2009 [2 favorites]


Name scientific fact in marketing. What repeatable experiments can you do?

I don't know if there are facts, but you can run multiple version of an ad and determine which one gets the best click-through rate. You can measure campaign spend over time and compare results versus costs. You can gather data on prospects and then do correlations to see which prospect attributes are most closely correlated with actually buying something to help salespeople sift through prospect lists more efficiently. It's as scientific as horticulture in the sense that you observe, describe and measure stuff.
posted by GuyZero at 2:49 PM on June 4, 2009


Seth Godin: "Another lesson: I kept an oversized (perhaps giant is a better word) Moleskine by the door, and we wrote down great moments and quotes as the days wore on. We’ve already worked our way through it frontwards, and now we’ve turned it over and are working back the other way."

Holy Moses, this is like a scene from a really crazy episode of "The Office."
posted by blucevalo at 2:50 PM on June 4, 2009 [2 favorites]


What's more, she recently lost her dog. Did she have second, healthy dog? Did she get a new dog? Does she require her new boss to simply love the memory of a dog he's never met? It is a mystery.

Maybe she thinks the dog is still with her.
posted by blucevalo at 2:51 PM on June 4, 2009


Does Lymphoma run in families? Maybe she should get checked.
posted by GuyZero at 2:53 PM on June 4, 2009


I think this discussion is getting a little out of control. Remember, this woman will eventually read these comments.
posted by gagglezoomer at 3:01 PM on June 4, 2009


MetaFilter is so Mean Girls lately.
posted by hermitosis at 3:04 PM on June 4, 2009 [5 favorites]


Sorry for being a dick Susan. It's not you, it's me.
posted by GuyZero at 3:06 PM on June 4, 2009


She's awesome, I applaud this strategy and hope that it spreads.

Usually I would have to waste 3 or 4 hours interviewing people to find out they are self-centered jerks. Sometimes, I haven't even found out they are wrong for the job until I've hired them and then that's a mess for all involved. This business of applicants providing a clear and unambiguous roadmap of assholitude in advance is a gift to potential bosses everywhere!

But what do I know? I am, after all, a boss without a penis.
posted by madamjujujive at 3:07 PM on June 4, 2009 [9 favorites]


Seth on Susan:
"Her unique skill is getting things done, and she wants a place where she can exercise that power to the fullest."
I don't know if I should laugh, or cry. Oh, wait a minute. Bwahaha.

Ya' know 99% of American workers never get anything done. She's a catch!
posted by ericb at 3:08 PM on June 4, 2009


I'm guessing she'll read it sooner rather than later if not already, since the OP told her via twitter he was posting about her.
posted by notquitemaryann at 3:10 PM on June 4, 2009


I think this discussion is getting a little out of control. Remember, this woman will eventually read these comments.

Eh if you think it's a brilliant idea to live as much of your life in 'public' online as she does, in a manner that reeks of narcissism and an apparently unjustified self-belief that one is destined for 'great things', you might have to prepare yourself for a bit of blowback.
posted by modernnomad at 3:13 PM on June 4, 2009 [1 favorite]


"Can I be hired now? Clearly, I'm qualified," grapefruitmoon.

Sorry, Susan was pretty emphatic about her need for a penis.
posted by cjorgensen at 3:16 PM on June 4, 2009


I'm starting to think the whole site is just a really convoluted personal ad. If so, she's going with the wrong kind of bait- she's just going to get a bunch of twee peripatetics in fedoras.
posted by dunkadunc at 3:22 PM on June 4, 2009 [3 favorites]


"Why does this feel inordinately like an D/s relationship to me?" LSK.

Note my link to "Secretary."

"I think this discussion is getting a little out of control. Remember, this woman will eventually read these comments," gagglezoomer.

Uh oh, maybe I shouldn't have been so mean. What's the best course of action here? Should I pretend like I was drunk posting? I mean, then people will think I drink in the daytime. Should I pretend my account got hacked? Should I ask mods to delete everything? Oh, the quandry! I'd hit up askme, but I've already posted this week.

Nah, I think I'll stick with the fact that it was a stupid and insipid website that made it's owner look stupid and she should have to abide by the callouts. It's what I do.
posted by cjorgensen at 3:27 PM on June 4, 2009


I didn't really mean *by Susan* - just, in general. She already has crayons. I meant, can I be hired since I share her qualifications? For what and by whom is irrelevant. HIRE ME.

I can get a strap-on if it would help.
posted by grapefruitmoon at 3:28 PM on June 4, 2009 [7 favorites]


I can get a strap-on if it would help.

Way to take one for the team. I think. Anyway, not an offer one hears often.
posted by GuyZero at 3:30 PM on June 4, 2009 [3 favorites]


marketing isn't a science, it's an art. the science behind marketing is sociology. just like medicine is an art, but the science behind it is biology.
posted by lester at 3:35 PM on June 4, 2009 [1 favorite]


twee peripatetics in fedoras

I have nothing to add to the conversation, other than that this phrase gave me the giggles.
posted by brundlefly at 3:37 PM on June 4, 2009


Sure beats my job-hunting strategy of screwing around on Metafilter, writing a couple of freelance pitches (which seem like they're always rejected) and maybe watching a rerun of NCIS.
posted by klangklangston at 3:44 PM on June 4, 2009 [3 favorites]


I don't know if there are facts, but you can run multiple version of an ad and determine which one gets the best click-through rate. You can measure campaign spend over time and compare results versus costs.
When I said "scientific fact" and "repeatable experiment" I was referring to the same thing. A Scientific Fact means "If you do experiment X you will always get the result Y". That's the same thing as a repeatable experiment ("If you repeat this experiment, you will get Y").

You can do experiments about what kinds of ads get better clickthrough then other ads, but first of all that's highly time dependent, and second of all there's not really any known fundamental theory that I know of that's really been rigorously tested. It would mean you could apply the theory and tell, without doing the experiment which ad would do better, just like you don't need to re-measure the speed of light every day. You don't even need to re-measure the speed of sound in different materials. The experiments have already been done and the results are known.

You might say "well, obviously butt-ugly adds will do worse then pretty ones" but have you seen those hideous "1-rule" type ads that show yellow teeth and flabby bellies to sell tooth whitener and diet plans? Obviously someone thinks they work, so it's hardly settled.
posted by delmoi at 3:44 PM on June 4, 2009 [1 favorite]


Aaaand ... the newset FPP -- "Christ, What an Asshole: Google Introduces Google Showcase" -- reveals Seth Godin's iGoogle homepage on which he suggests that you add his "gadgets a la carte," including his blog ("Because it's my blog."), Quotes of the Day ("Cause I'm waiting to see if I ever show up.") among others. Oh, my what an ego!
posted by ericb at 3:49 PM on June 4, 2009


*newest*
posted by ericb at 3:50 PM on June 4, 2009


Also, I ,loathe the word "doggie mommy." You know what you are if you're a "doggie mommy?"

That's right - you're a bitch.
posted by GuyZero at 12:21 PM on June 4



Hey!




eh, you're probably right
posted by dogmom at 3:59 PM on June 4, 2009 [11 favorites]


Free plus the $20 application fee.

Same as in town.
posted by ericb at 4:05 PM on June 4, 2009


Remember, this woman will eventually read these comments.

And? The problem being?
posted by ericb at 4:06 PM on June 4, 2009 [1 favorite]


I think the strangest thing about the process she's trying to go through is that she is most interested in who she works for and not really who she works with, or on...or what they do.

I've worked for all kinds of folks and generally in my experience it hasn't mattered two bits who they were or are or want to be, what has generally been more important and overall more interesting to me was the work itself. Everyone has "bad" bosses from time to time, but generally they are just bugs on the windshield of a productive career *doing something that is interesting*.
posted by iamabot at 4:08 PM on June 4, 2009


There's a possibility the snark factor wouldn't have been so high, had she not been so adamant about needing a man to boss her around.
...
I mean, it'd still be snarky, but perhaps not quite as mean.
posted by graventy at 4:19 PM on June 4, 2009


And? The problem being?

well, nobody has taken the initiative of directing her attention towards MeFi Jobs, for example. or would Projects be more appropriate?
posted by UbuRoivas at 4:21 PM on June 4, 2009 [1 favorite]


the recession has unleashed a deluge of these "creative" ways of seeking employment. please stop.
posted by atsotsis at 4:48 PM on June 4, 2009


"Cool People: Trent Reznor

Trent Reznor is one cool dude."

MEGAFAIL.
posted by bardic at 5:05 PM on June 4, 2009


MetaFilter is so Mean Girls lately.

Lately?
posted by blucevalo at 5:05 PM on June 4, 2009 [5 favorites]


well, hermitosis is only #24933, so he can only really speak of "lately".

plus, he wasn't even around for a long while there, so what would he know, anyway?
posted by UbuRoivas at 5:21 PM on June 4, 2009


Everyone has "bad" bosses from time to time, but generally they are just bugs on the windshield of a productive career *doing something that is interesting*.

Goodie for you. Maybe it doesn't work out that way for many others, no matter how hard they've tried, and it's getting hard to next-to-impossible to find that these days.
posted by raysmj at 6:07 PM on June 4, 2009


I didn't think it was possible that I could become more misanthropic.

I was wrong.
posted by BitterOldPunk at 6:32 PM on June 4, 2009 [4 favorites]


I always say I'm not going to do this, and then I go ahead and do it:

Metafilter: I can get a strap-on if it would help.
posted by marxchivist at 7:31 PM on June 4, 2009 [3 favorites]


I've found the perfect match.
posted by mkb at 7:41 PM on June 4, 2009 [1 favorite]


MetaFilter: I always say I'm not going to do this, and then I go ahead and do it
posted by UbuRoivas at 7:48 PM on June 4, 2009 [3 favorites]


For comic relief, check out one of the projects launched by Susan's "MBA" alumni: Sales Club. You have to click right through to the end for maximum amusement (be sure to hit the "I don't know anyone" link).
posted by jokeefe at 7:56 PM on June 4, 2009 [1 favorite]


From Seth Godin's post on his MBA program:

Learning:
The educational lesson that I found the most striking is that the book knowledge was easy to transmit and not particularly essential. Once you get this far, it's sort of a given that you're good at school. We read more than a hundred books, and the book learning happened quickly . Our culture has done an amazingly good job at teaching talented people how to learn concepts from books.

I taught for five to twenty hours a week, and very little of it was about the books. So, if concepts from books are easy, what’s hard?

Doing it.

Picking up the phone, making the plan, signing the deal. Pushing ‘publish.’ Announcing. Shipping.

We spent a lot of time on this area. Every morning, each person came in prepared to push someone in the group to overcome the next hurdle. This is what growth looks like, and it was energizing to be part of.

We didn’t do this at all at when I was at Stanford. We spent a lot of time reading irrelevant case studies and even more time building complex financial models. The thing is, you can now hire someone to build a complex financial model for you for $60 an hour. And a week’s worth of that is just about all the typical entrepreneur is going to need. The rest of the time, it’s about shipping, motivating, leading, connecting, envisioning and engaging. So that’s what we worked on.

It amazes me that MBA students around the world aren’t up in arms. How can schools justify taking $100,000 in cash and teaching exactly the wrong stuff?


The same way someone can justify taking 6 months of someone's time?
posted by ShawnStruck at 8:09 PM on June 4, 2009


As a woman who has always liked working with, or being around, women in general, I recognize the song of the person who says, "It's got to be a man who's in charge of women. Women are so catty! So mean to each other! They just tear each other down!"

When the person saying that is a woman, she knows -- because that's how she behaves.
posted by Countess Elena at 8:11 PM on June 4, 2009 [13 favorites]


I noticed this bit from Susan's website:

This is not the normal way to go about getting a job. I know this.

But that's exactly why I'm doing this. Doing it the old way never gets amazing. Never gets remarkable. Never gets excited. So why stick with that?


So no one "amazing" or "remarkable" has ever applied for a job by sending a traditional resume and, you know, being interviewed and offered the job? No one has ever done an "amazing" or "remarkable" job after being hired the old-fashioned way? Really? It's never happened?

It's like once she drank the Seth Godin Kool-Aid, she realized that the human race has been doing everything wrong!
posted by jayder at 8:30 PM on June 4, 2009 [1 favorite]


Also, how can doing something get excited?
posted by brundlefly at 8:54 PM on June 4, 2009 [1 favorite]


So no one "amazing" or "remarkable" has ever applied for a job by sending a traditional resume and, you know, being interviewed and offered the job? No one has ever done an "amazing" or "remarkable" job after being hired the old-fashioned way?

You need to pay more attention to her grammar there, because the only way it makes any sense at all is to read "gets" as "becomes".

So, she's saying that the process of applying by traditional means never becomes amazing or remarkable.

This, of course, is a massive hint to prospective employers that she turns her nose up at any task that isn't instantly gratifying, but which requires a modicum of discipline, effort or persistence to complete - ruling her out for just about every job or task on earth.

And brundlefly is also right - "applying traditionally never becomes excited" makes no sense whatsoever. This laso largely rules her out of any position requiring decent communication skills.
posted by UbuRoivas at 9:08 PM on June 4, 2009 [2 favorites]


So, it's agreed. We're hiring her?
posted by bicyclefish at 10:10 PM on June 4, 2009


I assumed she was a mefite.
posted by bz at 10:13 PM on June 4, 2009 [1 favorite]


Looks like strictly Ark B material, I bet she can mix a mean gin and tonic.
posted by Dr Dracator at 10:56 PM on June 4, 2009 [2 favorites]



Looks like strictly Ark B material, I bet she can mix a mean gin and tonic.



Naw, it would start out good but then she'd take like mint sprigs and paprika and mustard seeds and whole cucumbers to "shake up the form a little" and "explain your horizons."
posted by The Whelk at 3:39 AM on June 5, 2009 [2 favorites]


The first rule of Sales Club is not to talk about Sales Club (as you'll bring down their site)
posted by fearfulsymmetry at 3:59 AM on June 5, 2009


fearfulsymmetry: I am afraid to follow that link any further. I am afraid I would start laughing and never stop, slowly dying of starvation and dehydration as my horrible death-cackle winds down to a slow, hilarious groan.

Do you really want that on your conscious? Do you?
posted by The Whelk at 4:15 AM on June 5, 2009


So, it's agreed. We're hiring her?

Matt must have something for her to do.
posted by octobersurprise at 7:02 AM on June 5, 2009


Do you really want that on your conscious? Do you?

Hey if you don't take risks in your life - like posting up a jokey 'hire me!' web site - you'll never get anywhere....
posted by fearfulsymmetry at 7:21 AM on June 5, 2009


Man, some people feel too good about themselves.
posted by Uther Bentrazor at 8:38 AM on June 5, 2009


So, it's agreed. We're hiring her?

Matt must have something for her to do.


Moreover he has a penis and is happily married.
posted by orange swan at 8:59 AM on June 5, 2009


the worst part of this, for me, was "idea thrashing." what the hell? help.
posted by millipede at 11:19 AM on June 5, 2009


The rest of the time, it’s about shipping, motivating, leading, connecting, envisioning and engaging.

I know what "shipping" is, and have some idea about leadership, but I have no idea whatsoever what "connecting, envisioning, and engaging" looks like in reality. Bringing doughnuts to the office? Lecturing people? Making them do morning exercises? Or just making phone calls? It's a mystery.
posted by jokeefe at 3:11 PM on June 5, 2009


So yeah, all the reference to Seth Godin in this post makes me realize - I've seen this Godin dude mentioned here and there, but I never had the faintest idea what he's done. I end up looking through his blog off of one of the links here, where I find a post on Eternal September:
Fifteen years ago, someone coined the term, Eternal September. Because each September sees an entire crop of freshman showing up at college, you need to assume that you have to start teaching protocols all over again. Once a year, it's a whole new audience, and they need to learn the ropes.
And all I can think, looking at this, is "Dude, you are part of the Eternal September." Because I am a nerd who was hanging out on the proto-Internet long before AOL connected to the Net, and September never ended.

Then I end up finding his site, with a link to the Wikipedia page on him:
In 1998, Godin sold Yoyodyne to Yahoo! for $30 million[5] and became its vice president of direct marketing, a position he held until 2000.
Ah! No wonder he gives me the jibbles; no wonder the site of one of his proteges kinda creeps me out! Marketing.

Meanwhile on the site at hand, Susan makes the metaphor of the "producer" in Hollywood:
Without the producer, the executive producer is just holding meetings with people, but no movies are made. Without the producer, the director has nowhere to shoot, no film and no costumes. Without the producer, the actors never get scripts and have no trailers to crash in.

The producer gets things done. Without the producer, there is no movie.
And yeah, this is true. I worked in the animation world, I saw what happens when you have an ineffective producer. But there's one thing Susan's missing: all the really effective producers were there because they gave a shit about the medium, and wanted to be involved in making awesome cartoons - even though they couldn't draw to save their lives. Susan just wants to do... stuff. If she has any goals of her own they've been totally subsumed to "making something - anything - happen!!!".

And the part that makes me the saddest about pondering this is that the Susans of the world are the ones who generally get a hell of a lot more money into their lives than the Egypts. I sure don't have the funds to fuck off to New York for six months to lap up Godin's Marketing Genius.
posted by egypturnash at 3:17 PM on June 5, 2009 [1 favorite]


This thread is the number one Google hit for "susan hires a boss" ... ranked higher than her own site.

(One more reason for her to hate Google.)
posted by jayder at 8:58 PM on June 5, 2009 [5 favorites]


On the other hand, she'd probably be glad that this thread doesn't even show up in the results for "Susan V----- L----".
posted by UbuRoivas at 12:58 AM on June 6, 2009


This thread is the number one Google hit for "susan hires a boss" ... ranked higher than her own site.

That's because her GPA was lower than that of the average MeFite.
posted by brundlefly at 9:58 AM on June 6, 2009 [3 favorites]


Anyone know if her boss has found a job yet?
posted by cjorgensen at 3:40 PM on June 7, 2009 [1 favorite]


This thread doesn't show up when you search for "Susan hires a boss" now, but the main page of metafilter does. Odd.
posted by delmoi at 2:59 PM on June 9, 2009


I'm still getting this thread as the top result for "Susan hires a boss" (with the quotes kept intact) and her site second - when I remove the quotes, they switch positions.
posted by Marisa Stole the Precious Thing at 4:05 PM on June 9, 2009


Susan, if you are reading this: take a long walk off a short go fuck yourself.
posted by Damn That Television at 2:16 PM on June 25, 2009 [1 favorite]


Looks like the first link should now go here.

It's so hard for bosses to find good work these days. Looks like Susan is still-a-looking.
posted by cjorgensen at 7:27 AM on June 29, 2009


And second link should go here.
posted by cjorgensen at 7:30 AM on June 29, 2009


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