Comments on: Never forget

Never forget

7segment — Thu, 04 Jun 2009 14:49:08 -0800

Today marks the 5th anniversary of Marvin Heemeyer's killdozer rampage in Granby, Colorado. This resulted in the destruction of 13 buildings and an estimated $7 million in damage, a surreal heavy equipment duel with the police, and Heemeyer himself the sole casualty. Watch a fan-assembled montage of footage from the event.

By: not_on_display

not_on_display — Thu, 04 Jun 2009 14:55:05 -0800

I'm torn. On one hand, I am confused that this insanity-driven event has "fans." On the other hand, TRUCK CRUSH!!

By: Damn That Television

Damn That Television — Thu, 04 Jun 2009 14:57:42 -0800

By: Inspector.Gadget

Inspector.Gadget — Thu, 04 Jun 2009 15:00:08 -0800

http://www.metal-archives.com/band.php?id=3540267253

By: dersins

dersins — Thu, 04 Jun 2009 15:00:33 -0800

I am confused that this insanity-driven event has "fans." Seriously. The guy shot himself. Other than a /b/tard, what kind of sick fuck would describe himself as a "fan" of suicide?

By: dersins

dersins — Thu, 04 Jun 2009 15:00:39 -0800

Other than a /b/tard, what kind of sick fuck would describe himself as a "fan" of suicide? It strikes me that I may have answered my own question.

By: Jackalope

Jackalope — Thu, 04 Jun 2009 15:03:49 -0800

You know what you people are? Judgers, that is what.

By: Flashman

Flashman — Thu, 04 Jun 2009 15:06:39 -0800

and playa haters

By: mr_roboto

mr_roboto — Thu, 04 Jun 2009 15:06:58 -0800

Seriously. The guy shot himself. Other than a /b/tard, what kind of sick fuck would describe himself as a "fan" of suicide? I don't think they're suicide fans. They're Killdozer fans.

By: mattdidthat

mattdidthat — Thu, 04 Jun 2009 15:08:57 -0800

posted by Inspector.Gadget http://www.metal-archives.com/band.php?id=3540267253: Due to an existing copyright, the band has changed their name to DNR (Do Not Resuscitate). That's not Killdozer. This is Killdozer.

By: Smedleyman

Smedleyman — Thu, 04 Jun 2009 15:14:01 -0800

he hours approaching, to give it your best You've got to reach your prime. That's when you need to put yourself to the test And show us a passage of time Were going to need a montage (montage!) Ooh it takes a montage (montage!)

By: bonobothegreat

bonobothegreat — Thu, 04 Jun 2009 15:19:18 -0800

I got a kick out of the comments: *Marv was the greatest American who ever lived. *AMERICA! F$%K YEAH!!! *Happy birthday! I hope you're pushing clouds in heaven.

By: Smedleyman

Smedleyman — Thu, 04 Jun 2009 15:19:24 -0800

Creepy smiley picture btw. And teh whole "God prepared me for this" thing.

By: GuyZero

GuyZero — Thu, 04 Jun 2009 15:21:42 -0800

Killdozer!: Volume III: The Complete Stories of Theodore Sturgeon is a pretty awesome book.

By: Pantengliopoli

Pantengliopoli — Thu, 04 Jun 2009 15:22:30 -0800

Caution, montage video has truly awful music.

By: Inspector.Gadget

Inspector.Gadget — Thu, 04 Jun 2009 15:22:44 -0800

That's not Killdozer. This is Killdozer. Yeah, I figured I'd post the stereotypical beer party-thrash band over the sludge/noise band for the lulz.

By: mattdidthat

mattdidthat — Thu, 04 Jun 2009 15:24:57 -0800

posted by Flashman and playa haters Doza haters.

By: The Light Fantastic

The Light Fantastic — Thu, 04 Jun 2009 15:25:09 -0800

I imagine his family is thrilled to know that the lead-up to his death has a fan club.

By: BitterOldPunk

BitterOldPunk — Thu, 04 Jun 2009 15:27:07 -0800

Killdozer And here's a video of Killdozer (the band) covering Sweet Home Alabama, just because it fucking rocks.

By: Flashman

Flashman — Thu, 04 Jun 2009 15:28:06 -0800

For the rest of us, there's Grand Theft Auto

By: mattdidthat

mattdidthat — Thu, 04 Jun 2009 15:28:25 -0800

posted by Inspector.Gadget sludge/noise band Their cover of American Pie (in fact, the entire For Ladies Only album) is awesome.

By: Devils Rancher

Devils Rancher — Thu, 04 Jun 2009 15:35:52 -0800

I got a kick out of the comments: *Marv was the greatest American who ever lived. *AMERICA! F$%K YEAH!!! *Happy birthday! I hope you're pushing clouds in heaven. I offer a prayer: May they be perpetually preoccupied by YouTube.

By: Combustible Edison Lighthouse

Combustible Edison Lighthouse — Thu, 04 Jun 2009 15:41:56 -0800

Happy Killdozer Rampage Day everyone!

By: fire&wings

fire&wings — Thu, 04 Jun 2009 15:45:27 -0800

Local and state police, including a SWAT team, walked behind and beside the bulldozer occasionally firing, but the armored bulldozer was impervious to their shots. Picturing that is pretty funny. Slowest, most sloth-like rampage ever. "God built me for this job" What a cock. Really, if demolishing a few ugly, inconsequential buildings in Bumfuck, Colorado in a hilariously slow and farcical manner before blowing your brains out while stuck in the basement of Gamble's Hardware Store - all over the matter of 2.4 metres of land - was God's mission for you, then it's time to find a new God.

By: Greg Nog

Greg Nog — Thu, 04 Jun 2009 15:48:28 -0800

Wow!

By: datacenter refugee

datacenter refugee — Thu, 04 Jun 2009 15:50:48 -0800

I never thought anyone could successfully make light of a suicidal rampage, but the first 15 seconds of this video made me a convert. via.

By: cyclopticgaze

cyclopticgaze — Thu, 04 Jun 2009 15:54:57 -0800

I wouldn't call it a "duel" with the police because that implies that the local police had means of stopping him, when in fact they were pretty impotent. Had the bulldozer not overheated and had he not driven into a basement and gotten stuck, Heemeyer would have presumably continued the rampage until the dozer ran out of fuel. At which point, he probably still would have shot himself because, after all, he was sealed inside.

By: wayofthedodo

wayofthedodo — Thu, 04 Jun 2009 15:55:41 -0800

Even rocky had a montage (montage)

By: BrotherCaine

BrotherCaine — Thu, 04 Jun 2009 16:09:20 -0800

That's extra pathetic to not only go on a killing spree, but do it with an armored killing machine with two mounted rifles and not manage to kill anyone. I'm thankful he didn't think to include rotating turrets, flamethrowers, or an extensible device to siphon gas. Also, given SWAT's propensity for collecting toys, why don't they have flamethrowers or anti-tank weapons?

By: Xurando

Xurando — Thu, 04 Jun 2009 16:21:21 -0800

Never heard of this. Just reinforces my ongoing belief that life is much stranger than fiction. You couldn't make this up.

By: Sailormom

Sailormom — Thu, 04 Jun 2009 16:35:05 -0800

Intellectuals Are the Shoeshine Boys of the Ruling Elite.

By: blasdelf

blasdelf — Thu, 04 Jun 2009 16:35:34 -0800

I'm just a degree of separation away from the man, and I have come to the conclusion that Marvin Heemeyer is the complement to D.B. Cooper

By: ooga_booga

ooga_booga — Thu, 04 Jun 2009 16:36:59 -0800

I wonder what his contingency plan was if he had left the keys outside before he sealed himself up in his killdozer.

By: Smedleyman

Smedleyman — Thu, 04 Jun 2009 16:40:57 -0800

"I'm thankful he didn't think to include rotating turrets, flamethrowers, or an extensible device to siphon gas." *scribbles in notebook* Flamethrowers were mostly used to suck air out of bunkers. They might have gone with a molotov cocktail here for the same effect, but probably would have caused more property damage. Guy who got up on the thing could have poured gas in it tho. *shrug* Anti-tank weaponry, same deal, specialized weapon that can do a lot of incidental damage you don't want. Some halfwit in some department would probably requisition for that stuff though. A small amount of compound explosive could have severed the treads. Dynamite. Maybe gunpowder, if it was tamped. Dunno. Plenty of other ways to attack the treads. Or they could have plugged the exhaust (enough silly putty works), I don't know how the fuel system was protected. But it's easy to speculate from outside the situation. During the second intifada the Israelis used armored D9s against the Palestinians, they took RPG hits and shrugged them off. At Jenin they ran over houses and IEDs - even took hits from 100kg belly charges (untamped). So, yeah, tough one. I think shooing people away to protect them and waiting him out was a pretty decent move. No one other than him killed.

By: william_boot

william_boot — Thu, 04 Jun 2009 16:44:44 -0800

Other than a /b/tard, what kind of sick fuck would describe himself as a "fan" of suicide?

By: Tube

Tube — Thu, 04 Jun 2009 17:03:14 -0800

To really demonstrate his omnipotence, his machine should have had a bumper sticker that read "Just Weld It".

By: Telf

Telf — Thu, 04 Jun 2009 17:14:10 -0800

Yes this dude was crazy. Yes he could have really hurt some people. But, you have to admit that there is something tragically poetic about someone making that final decision to seal themselves into a machine that they have no way of ever escaping. This guy had conviction. (Preemptively noting: "You know who else had conviction?") With the right spin and some Shining-esque reimaginings, this story could be like an updated Mr Smith Goes to Washington. Man fights city halls and loses. Man decides to apply a little American can do spirit to the situation. With a little bit of elbow grease and some good old fashion know how, he shows those mean fat bureaucrats a thing or two. I recommend Mel Gibson as the director.

By: digsrus

digsrus — Thu, 04 Jun 2009 17:16:14 -0800

Local and state police, including a SWAT team, walked behind and beside the bulldozer occasionally firing, but the armored bulldozer was impervious to their shots. I guess none of them saw "Saving Private Ryan" or they would have used sticky bombs.

By: @troy

@troy — Thu, 04 Jun 2009 17:21:02 -0800

A small amount of compound explosive could have severed the treads. Dynamite. . . Manner Gegen Panzer

By: WalterMitty

WalterMitty — Thu, 04 Jun 2009 17:25:26 -0800

The victims in this case were the insurance companies who had to pay out big time for what Heemeyer did. Nobody died or was injured, so all damage done was monetary; and with insurance, that's easily fixed. Apparently he fired a semi-automatic rifle at oncoming law enforcement, so he's not really noble.

By: mwhybark

mwhybark — Thu, 04 Jun 2009 17:28:12 -0800

Smedleyman: "During the second intifada the Israelis used armored D9s against the Palestinians" EXCELLENT! Smedley, you have bridged the gap between Tienanmin Square, Killdozer, and Rachel Corrie!

By: setanor

setanor — Thu, 04 Jun 2009 17:56:21 -0800

Man fights city halls and loses. Maybe. It seemed to me like he sold land to a family who wanted to build a cement plant, jacking up the price right before the sale, and then tried to stop the construction of said concrete plant. Why in the hell didn't he knock himself out a right-of-way through the property that was his before he sold it?

By: Sidhedevil

Sidhedevil — Thu, 04 Jun 2009 18:25:14 -0800

But, you have to admit that there is something tragically poetic about someone making that final decision to seal themselves into a machine that they have no way of ever escaping. See, I'm seeing an entitled asshole who threw an incredibly dangerous tantrum because he had accidentally screwed himself with his own wildcatting real estate transaction. Tomato, tomahto.

By: brevator

brevator — Thu, 04 Jun 2009 18:33:20 -0800

I recommend Mel Gibson as the director. I'm sorry, but Werner Herzog is the director of this film.

By: mattdidthat

mattdidthat — Thu, 04 Jun 2009 19:10:38 -0800

posted by ooga_booga I wonder what his contingency plan was if he had left the keys outside before he sealed himself up in his killdozer. Do bulldozers have keys? I wonder if that's why construction projects get held up, and why you sometimes see construction workers standing around: "Yep, Bob forgot the keys to the bulldozer, so we have to wait until he gets back."

By: ROU_Xenophobe

ROU_Xenophobe — Thu, 04 Jun 2009 19:19:00 -0800

I'm a little surprised that not one cop had his own M82. Or that they didn't think to get some stout chains or cables and hooks and use a few more bulldozers to haul the offending killdozer away from its bricky victims and immobilize it. Also, a year and a half is a long time to stay that pissed off.

By: enamon

enamon — Thu, 04 Jun 2009 19:21:29 -0800

Cars have keys. Bulldozers have bees! Sorry. Couldn't resist.

By: aaronetc

aaronetc — Thu, 04 Jun 2009 20:20:16 -0800

Weird thread. I lived in Granby for three years when I was little and now live in Madison, home of Killdozer.

By: exogenous

exogenous — Thu, 04 Jun 2009 20:26:35 -0800

...this story could be like an updated Mr Smith Goes to Washington. Like this guy?

By: Smedleyman

Smedleyman — Thu, 04 Jun 2009 21:26:18 -0800

"Do bulldozers have keys?" Some do. Mostly universal type keys. But there's killswitches and whatnot. Other ways to secure them. I think the crucial bit is that this guy had no attachments. I mean - you don't spend a year and a half working on a killdozer if you're married and have kids. He'd have kids playing in it. There'd be a bike parked in front of it. Writing in crayon all over it. And yeah - the keys would be gone. It'd be parked out back for a while. Then he'd go use the armor for something else. Bits and pieces would disappear. Eventually he'd sell the thing and with the money finance a new small business just to get out of the house and forget about trying to build the damned thing. Did I mention I was working on building a custom motorcycle?

By: sloe

sloe — Thu, 04 Jun 2009 22:00:38 -0800

"Do bulldozers have keys?" Some do. Mostly universal type keys. Yeah. A buddy of mine once took "Road Closed Due to Construction" as a recommendation rather than an absolute - his Jeep Cherokee ended up stuck where the road ended... Fortunately, he was working for a construction company at the time time and - low and behold - his key for the heavy equipment fit that at the site... so he used the nearby backhoe to unstick the jeep. There was minor cosmetic damage. Also, I wonder if Marvin Heemeyer now spends his days playing ping-pong with Shawn Nelson. (warning: terrible voice over ... recommended volume = 0) KillDozer and the Tank. Worst detective show concept ever? The WWE tag team you love to hate? Premier Morning Zoo duo? I don't know.

By: drdanger

drdanger — Thu, 04 Jun 2009 22:10:23 -0800

And people say Americans don't build anything anymore.

By: wenestvedt

wenestvedt — Fri, 05 Jun 2009 06:58:31 -0800

At the special day for kids to climb on construction equipment in our town last year, a guy letting us sit in the cab of a huge Caterpillar loader explained that they can now do remote diagnostics on the leased equipment -- and also remotely disable the engine if you fall behind on your payments. So, no bombs/chains/white-hat-dozer-teams required, just a phone call to the local Cat rep.

By: Evilspork

Evilspork — Fri, 05 Jun 2009 11:49:43 -0800

For the rest of us, there's Grand Theft Auto I think Blast Corps is more appropriate.

By: Civil_Disobedient

Civil_Disobedient — Fri, 05 Jun 2009 16:30:29 -0800

By: BrotherCaine

BrotherCaine — Fri, 05 Jun 2009 17:02:54 -0800

So did he post a youtube video montage of himself welding armor plating on with A-Team music in the background?