Omnomnomyoudon't
June 4, 2009 8:54 PM Subscribe
If he had these setups everywhere in his house, it would be sadistic. And of course everyone knows the vacuum sweeper is a cat's natural enemy.
posted by Kid Charlemagne at 9:18 PM on June 4, 2009
posted by Kid Charlemagne at 9:18 PM on June 4, 2009
Ah, if that's sadistic, I only wish I could hook it up to my toes at night.
posted by dhartung at 9:20 PM on June 4, 2009 [5 favorites]
posted by dhartung at 9:20 PM on June 4, 2009 [5 favorites]
LOLCAT
posted by unSane at 9:21 PM on June 4, 2009 [2 favorites]
posted by unSane at 9:21 PM on June 4, 2009 [2 favorites]
I know the perfect soundtrack for this video.
posted by grouse at 9:21 PM on June 4, 2009 [16 favorites]
posted by grouse at 9:21 PM on June 4, 2009 [16 favorites]
I'm pretty sure the way to keep cats off kitchen counters is either a) don't have cats or b) don't have kitchen counters. This seems a bit hateful.
posted by Space Kitty at 9:23 PM on June 4, 2009
posted by Space Kitty at 9:23 PM on June 4, 2009
The computer upstairs is running the 'motion' library for linux. As soon as it detects something moving on camera, it starts recording frames. While it is saving frames, it also initiates another Perl script I wrote that sends an X10 command to turn on the blender and strobe, wait 3 seconds, then turn them off. After the script is done detecting motion, it then splices all the JPG frames together using ffmpeg and saves the resulting movie as a SWF file, which you can see above. Finally, after it saves the movie, I have it set up to email me a link to the movie so I can see the results from where ever I'm at (remotely by using my phone).
Holy fucking shit.
posted by KokuRyu at 9:26 PM on June 4, 2009 [39 favorites]
Holy fucking shit.
posted by KokuRyu at 9:26 PM on June 4, 2009 [39 favorites]
Our strategy is to keep a cat that isn't comfortable jumping as high as the countertop. She's not very catlike that way, but it works out for everyone. Naturally, her name is Tigger.
posted by agent at 9:27 PM on June 4, 2009
posted by agent at 9:27 PM on June 4, 2009
asshole.
posted by Auden at 9:32 PM on June 4, 2009 [3 favorites]
posted by Auden at 9:32 PM on June 4, 2009 [3 favorites]
I know the perfect soundtrack for this video.
Indeed you do!
posted by bicyclefish at 9:35 PM on June 4, 2009
Indeed you do!
posted by bicyclefish at 9:35 PM on June 4, 2009
Yeah, this goes a bit too far. Anything that would scare the hell out of me is probably too much for the cat.
posted by walrus hunter at 9:35 PM on June 4, 2009
posted by walrus hunter at 9:35 PM on June 4, 2009
(Sorry for the botched link. I meant: Indeed you do!)
posted by bicyclefish at 9:37 PM on June 4, 2009 [4 favorites]
posted by bicyclefish at 9:37 PM on June 4, 2009 [4 favorites]
Nice countermeasure.
posted by 7segment at 9:42 PM on June 4, 2009 [11 favorites]
posted by 7segment at 9:42 PM on June 4, 2009 [11 favorites]
This person went through all this effort to avoid what, exactly? Cat germs?
The cat is eating the houseplants he keeps there, which is inappropriate behavior meriting discipline.
posted by TheOnlyCoolTim at 9:49 PM on June 4, 2009 [2 favorites]
The cat is eating the houseplants he keeps there, which is inappropriate behavior meriting discipline.
posted by TheOnlyCoolTim at 9:49 PM on June 4, 2009 [2 favorites]
100 pounds of awesome.
posted by Cool Papa Bell at 9:56 PM on June 4, 2009
posted by Cool Papa Bell at 9:56 PM on June 4, 2009
To keep a tongue that has cleaned ass from licking the butter.
posted by Ritchie at 10:05 PM on June 4, 2009 [17 favorites]
posted by Ritchie at 10:05 PM on June 4, 2009 [17 favorites]
So if this guy gets up in the middle of the night and stumbles half-asleep into his kitchen for a glass of water his blender and strobe light will go off, scaring the bejeesus out of him.
Maybe that serves him right.
posted by twoleftfeet at 10:09 PM on June 4, 2009
Maybe that serves him right.
posted by twoleftfeet at 10:09 PM on June 4, 2009
Make no mistake, Billy, if a cat had the chance he'd blend you and everyone you care about.
posted by Space Coyote at 10:11 PM on June 4, 2009 [24 favorites]
posted by Space Coyote at 10:11 PM on June 4, 2009 [24 favorites]
To keep paws that have been in the litter box off surfaces on which food is prepared.
To keep a tongue that has cleaned ass from licking the butter.
No, really, according to the site, it's because the cat was eating the houseplant that was on the counter just like TheOnlyCoolTim said.
I'd suggest clicking through and actually reading that part, but he commits enough grammatical fouls to send the average user of this site into a berserk rage.
posted by 7segment at 10:15 PM on June 4, 2009
To keep a tongue that has cleaned ass from licking the butter.
No, really, according to the site, it's because the cat was eating the houseplant that was on the counter just like TheOnlyCoolTim said.
I'd suggest clicking through and actually reading that part, but he commits enough grammatical fouls to send the average user of this site into a berserk rage.
posted by 7segment at 10:15 PM on June 4, 2009
It beats the "chair mat, cut into strips, tack-side up" I've read about...
...for entertainment value, at least...
posted by Graygorey at 10:20 PM on June 4, 2009
...for entertainment value, at least...
posted by Graygorey at 10:20 PM on June 4, 2009
The cat is eating the houseplants he keeps there, which is inappropriate behavior meriting discipline.
Not only that, but at least with our cats, houseplant eating is usually followed up by half-digested houseplant vomiting. That's if you're lucky. If you're not, you'll get a cat dragging poop around the house by a long string of houseplant fiber.
posted by The Tensor at 10:23 PM on June 4, 2009 [28 favorites]
Not only that, but at least with our cats, houseplant eating is usually followed up by half-digested houseplant vomiting. That's if you're lucky. If you're not, you'll get a cat dragging poop around the house by a long string of houseplant fiber.
posted by The Tensor at 10:23 PM on June 4, 2009 [28 favorites]
Yeah, this rates about as cruel as coming up behind the cat and going "hey! knock it off!" when you spot them doing something they shouldn't be. Cats have a finely honed moral sense of right and wrong and they know they've been busted, and will flip out like this then too.
Me, I've just given up on having plants or plant-like objects in the house.
posted by Kyol at 10:34 PM on June 4, 2009 [10 favorites]
Me, I've just given up on having plants or plant-like objects in the house.
posted by Kyol at 10:34 PM on June 4, 2009 [10 favorites]
Huh, how about that. Twenty eight comments and not one "will it blend" joke.
posted by not_the_water at 10:38 PM on June 4, 2009 [4 favorites]
posted by not_the_water at 10:38 PM on June 4, 2009 [4 favorites]
(Actually, I should amend that to they will either totally flip out and go all limbs akimbo to get away from the scene of the crime, or they will look at you with a look that says "yeah, what? what are you going to do, pinkie?" and saunter away. Very sophisticated animal, the common house cat.)
posted by Kyol at 11:00 PM on June 4, 2009 [2 favorites]
posted by Kyol at 11:00 PM on June 4, 2009 [2 favorites]
I should do that. Except I would set it to a coffee bean grinder.
posted by iamkimiam at 11:10 PM on June 4, 2009
posted by iamkimiam at 11:10 PM on June 4, 2009
It is built to keep cats off the counter, but seeing as all new incidents are recorded cats getting on the counter is the source of potential ad revenue and entertainment. I sense a conflict of interests.
posted by TwelveTwo at 11:15 PM on June 4, 2009 [2 favorites]
posted by TwelveTwo at 11:15 PM on June 4, 2009 [2 favorites]
I think the cat would appreciate some wheat sprouting for its dietary needs. But keeping a cat off counters and tables isn't the easiest thing to do, and is still worth some effort. My favorite is the black cat, the last one there.
The method I've heard about was putting metal cookie sheets with coins and/or stones on them, adjusted so that the cat will knock them off when jumping up. This setup is elaborate, but less work once in place. And resets itself!
As for his revenue stream, the last video there is dated 2008, so he either gave up, or his cat gave up. I wonder which?
posted by Goofyy at 11:38 PM on June 4, 2009
The method I've heard about was putting metal cookie sheets with coins and/or stones on them, adjusted so that the cat will knock them off when jumping up. This setup is elaborate, but less work once in place. And resets itself!
As for his revenue stream, the last video there is dated 2008, so he either gave up, or his cat gave up. I wonder which?
posted by Goofyy at 11:38 PM on June 4, 2009
I'm pretty sure this guys been on the site before - if not for this, for his emergency party button.
posted by bigmusic at 12:26 AM on June 5, 2009 [2 favorites]
posted by bigmusic at 12:26 AM on June 5, 2009 [2 favorites]
Won't the cat just get used to it anyway? I confess that I may not have a complete understanding of cats.
posted by !Jim at 1:12 AM on June 5, 2009 [1 favorite]
posted by !Jim at 1:12 AM on June 5, 2009 [1 favorite]
No, but it won't stop trying to jump on the counter either.
posted by iamkimiam at 1:16 AM on June 5, 2009
posted by iamkimiam at 1:16 AM on June 5, 2009
As a cat owner who loves his cats, I think this is a reasonable solution to the issue. You're not just protecting the plants - depending on the plant, you're protecting the cats. Many plants have parts that are poisonous to cats.
Furthermore, when you personally scare a cat away from something, the main thing the cat learns is not to do it when you're around. Setting up something like this keeps the cat from endangering itself when you're not home.
Finally, if a cat wants to eat some grass or leaf, there are plenty of cat-friendly alternatives out there. Cat grass is a good one (and its fun to watch them graze) and romaine lettuce is also popular - especially with my cats. Tear it up small enough and you won't have to clean their butts later.
posted by Joey Michaels at 2:49 AM on June 5, 2009 [1 favorite]
Furthermore, when you personally scare a cat away from something, the main thing the cat learns is not to do it when you're around. Setting up something like this keeps the cat from endangering itself when you're not home.
Finally, if a cat wants to eat some grass or leaf, there are plenty of cat-friendly alternatives out there. Cat grass is a good one (and its fun to watch them graze) and romaine lettuce is also popular - especially with my cats. Tear it up small enough and you won't have to clean their butts later.
posted by Joey Michaels at 2:49 AM on June 5, 2009 [1 favorite]
(Actually, I should amend that to they will either totally flip out and go all limbs akimbo to get away from the scene of the crime, or they will look at you with a look that says "yeah, what? what are you going to do, pinkie?" and saunter away. Very sophisticated animal, the common house cat.)
My black and white has discovered a middle ground. She'll walk/run as fast as she can but keep her body perfectly level as though she was just calmly trotting away without having noticed someone is telling her off. This has become known as the 'naughty walk'.
posted by vbfg at 3:13 AM on June 5, 2009 [6 favorites]
My black and white has discovered a middle ground. She'll walk/run as fast as she can but keep her body perfectly level as though she was just calmly trotting away without having noticed someone is telling her off. This has become known as the 'naughty walk'.
posted by vbfg at 3:13 AM on June 5, 2009 [6 favorites]
This video is not cruel, not in itself. The problem is this: "after it saves the movie, I have it set up to email me a link to the movie so I can see the results from where ever I'm at." I have no explanation for that other than sadism.
posted by justsomebodythatyouusedtoknow at 3:15 AM on June 5, 2009
posted by justsomebodythatyouusedtoknow at 3:15 AM on June 5, 2009
Heyyy at least he hooked it up to a blender rather than, say, a flamethrower or a gatling cannon. Or a bucket of water aimed at the cat.
posted by WalterMitty at 3:57 AM on June 5, 2009 [1 favorite]
posted by WalterMitty at 3:57 AM on June 5, 2009 [1 favorite]
For an animal that will basically do the same thing to you by jumping on your face while you sleep, this is absolutely fair play.
I had to employ a similar strategy with a roommate's cat years ago. It wouldn't stop scratching at my bedroom door while I was sleeping, even though it had total access to my roommate's room.
I set up a shop vac outside my door and ran the cord into my room, plugging it into a power strip that was within easy reach. As soon as I heard the cat scratching, I just gave the vac a quick on/off and listened to the cat shooting down the hall.
I only had to do this twice, but I would have gladly done it more!
posted by orme at 4:47 AM on June 5, 2009 [6 favorites]
I had to employ a similar strategy with a roommate's cat years ago. It wouldn't stop scratching at my bedroom door while I was sleeping, even though it had total access to my roommate's room.
I set up a shop vac outside my door and ran the cord into my room, plugging it into a power strip that was within easy reach. As soon as I heard the cat scratching, I just gave the vac a quick on/off and listened to the cat shooting down the hall.
I only had to do this twice, but I would have gladly done it more!
posted by orme at 4:47 AM on June 5, 2009 [6 favorites]
Look, I think that most everybody who's had the honour realises that life with cats is an uneven mix of love, affection, caregiving and trench warfare. Cats know that there is nothing so responsive as an aggreivated human, and aggreivated humans know that there is at least a quantum of solace in a reciprocally irritated cat. They're much like siblings, except they never grow up, and remain stuck as cats, the gradual realization of which I'm convinced only makes them even more irritable as they get older.
posted by bicyclefish at 5:12 AM on June 5, 2009 [19 favorites]
posted by bicyclefish at 5:12 AM on June 5, 2009 [19 favorites]
This is so, so good.
posted by Civil_Disobedient at 5:12 AM on June 5, 2009 [1 favorite]
posted by Civil_Disobedient at 5:12 AM on June 5, 2009 [1 favorite]
This video is not cruel, not in itself. The problem is this: "after it saves the movie, I have it set up to email me a link to the movie so I can see the results from where ever I'm at." I have no explanation for that other than sadism.
Feedback loop? Confirming that the system is being triggered appropriately (and not by the sun casting changing patterns on the wall or similar) and activating and importantly _deactivating_ properly? Remember, typically for the type of person who would do this in the first place, the tech is almost as important as the goal. And once you have those assets in place, there's not much of a drive to remove them from the (working) system.
ok back to sleep, 2.5 hours is nowhere near enough
posted by Kyol at 5:13 AM on June 5, 2009
Feedback loop? Confirming that the system is being triggered appropriately (and not by the sun casting changing patterns on the wall or similar) and activating and importantly _deactivating_ properly? Remember, typically for the type of person who would do this in the first place, the tech is almost as important as the goal. And once you have those assets in place, there's not much of a drive to remove them from the (working) system.
ok back to sleep, 2.5 hours is nowhere near enough
posted by Kyol at 5:13 AM on June 5, 2009
What's with all the "oh noez teh poor kitty"? The cat was fucking with the plant. It's a cat: it's not going to process a calm, rational argument as to why the plant is important and why it shouldn't fuck with it, nor why it should not be on the counter with dirty paws. You augment the behavior by introducing a negative consequence to said behavior. It's part and parcel to owning an animal; you can't reason with them, it's called training.
Seriously, the vitriol that some people are showing this guy is striking.
posted by Uther Bentrazor at 5:17 AM on June 5, 2009 [18 favorites]
Seriously, the vitriol that some people are showing this guy is striking.
posted by Uther Bentrazor at 5:17 AM on June 5, 2009 [18 favorites]
You think that's sadistic? I declawed my four cats, smeared cat nip scented lubricant all over my counter top and installed pinball machine bumpers all along the kitchen wall. Subscribe to my RSS feed!
posted by JeNeSaisQuoi at 5:35 AM on June 5, 2009 [16 favorites]
posted by JeNeSaisQuoi at 5:35 AM on June 5, 2009 [16 favorites]
the plant is important
The plant is important? Come on, the plant is an incidental $5 houseplant from Lowe's that provides an excuse to try and earn tech geek points with a automated web-cam cat-scare rig. No one really gives a damn about the stupid plant.
posted by aught at 5:52 AM on June 5, 2009
The plant is important? Come on, the plant is an incidental $5 houseplant from Lowe's that provides an excuse to try and earn tech geek points with a automated web-cam cat-scare rig. No one really gives a damn about the stupid plant.
posted by aught at 5:52 AM on June 5, 2009
I'm getting a cat just so I can do this.
posted by FreezBoy at 5:53 AM on June 5, 2009 [8 favorites]
posted by FreezBoy at 5:53 AM on June 5, 2009 [8 favorites]
This video is not cruel, not in itself. The problem is this: "after it saves the movie, I have it set up to email me a link to the movie so I can see the results from where ever I'm at." I have no explanation for that other than sadism geekery.
Have you seen his other video? This is a man who's wonderful with information systems, engineering, and that good old "If I dream it, I can do it!"
He has a linux yada yada perl motion scanner video compressor riggadig dibbity doo. The e-mailing thing was the easiest part. And he's probably even wired something on his cellphone to have it do something neat when that comes in.
Hired Geeks. Engineers. Nerds. Call 'em what you will, they make the world go round. And cats flip out.
posted by cavalier at 6:07 AM on June 5, 2009 [2 favorites]
Have you seen his other video? This is a man who's wonderful with information systems, engineering, and that good old "If I dream it, I can do it!"
He has a linux yada yada perl motion scanner video compressor riggadig dibbity doo. The e-mailing thing was the easiest part. And he's probably even wired something on his cellphone to have it do something neat when that comes in.
Hired Geeks. Engineers. Nerds. Call 'em what you will, they make the world go round. And cats flip out.
posted by cavalier at 6:07 AM on June 5, 2009 [2 favorites]
So if this guy gets up in the middle of the night and stumbles half-asleep into his kitchen for a glass of water his blender and strobe light will go off, scaring the bejeesus out of him.
Well, he'll get off easier than ol' Johnny Verbeck.
posted by bookish at 6:13 AM on June 5, 2009
Well, he'll get off easier than ol' Johnny Verbeck.
posted by bookish at 6:13 AM on June 5, 2009
Guys, come on, this is a cat we're talking about. Cat's humor has one joke. The ambush. If cats ran the world, every appliance would be wired up to a motion sensor and a strobe light. As it is they just jump down on their sleeping compatriot from the back of the couch.
Every so often my cat will pick a small object that has somehow wound up on the floor and will switch back and forth between running from it in eyes-wide terror and stalking and pouncing on it. Styrofoam peanuts, a small paper bag, that sort of thing. He better hope that the cat has been convinced to stay off the counter before it becomes jaded and decides to counterattack.
posted by Kid Charlemagne at 6:23 AM on June 5, 2009 [9 favorites]
Every so often my cat will pick a small object that has somehow wound up on the floor and will switch back and forth between running from it in eyes-wide terror and stalking and pouncing on it. Styrofoam peanuts, a small paper bag, that sort of thing. He better hope that the cat has been convinced to stay off the counter before it becomes jaded and decides to counterattack.
posted by Kid Charlemagne at 6:23 AM on June 5, 2009 [9 favorites]
I wish I had come up with something like this to keep my cat off the fishtank. He used it as a stepping stone to get up on top of our DVD shelf, about 10 feet off the floor. Over and over he did it, no matter what method I used to disincentivize him... then one day, mr. fleabag jumped straight down from the shelf instead of going shelf-->fishtank-->counter--->floor, and fractured his leg.
Guess who doesn't jump up there anymore? But it would have been a lot less painful for him (and expensive for me) to have had something like this rigged up.
Stupid cats.
posted by R_Nebblesworth at 6:43 AM on June 5, 2009
Guess who doesn't jump up there anymore? But it would have been a lot less painful for him (and expensive for me) to have had something like this rigged up.
Stupid cats.
posted by R_Nebblesworth at 6:43 AM on June 5, 2009
I don't think it's cruel. But the elaborate effort this guy takes to penalize a cat and then brag about it suggests a person whose company I would not enjoy.
posted by applemeat at 6:49 AM on June 5, 2009 [1 favorite]
posted by applemeat at 6:49 AM on June 5, 2009 [1 favorite]
You people who are calling this "sadistic" must be NO FUN AT ALL. AT ALL!
posted by Edgewise at 6:49 AM on June 5, 2009 [2 favorites]
posted by Edgewise at 6:49 AM on June 5, 2009 [2 favorites]
I like my cat videos to involve more lulzing and jumpting and sleepting and being ninjas and walkting on waters and playing with the dolphins.
posted by permafrost at 6:50 AM on June 5, 2009 [11 favorites]
posted by permafrost at 6:50 AM on June 5, 2009 [11 favorites]
I think this is brilliant and I wish I had the tech skillz to implement it in my old, giant, beloved, poor palm tree. At the moment I've got the dirt covered with rocks and 100 bamboo stakes in the pot like a sort of miniature punji pit and do you think that is deterring my cat from shitting in it? No. No, it is not. I don't know how the hell she's managing it but she is.
posted by mygothlaundry at 7:17 AM on June 5, 2009 [1 favorite]
posted by mygothlaundry at 7:17 AM on June 5, 2009 [1 favorite]
And of course everyone knows the vacuum sweeper is a cat's natural enemy.
Not all cats, apparently. Hoooooooooooooverrrrrr. [previously]
posted by Kronos_to_Earth at 7:26 AM on June 5, 2009 [5 favorites]
Not all cats, apparently. Hoooooooooooooverrrrrr. [previously]
posted by Kronos_to_Earth at 7:26 AM on June 5, 2009 [5 favorites]
If you are interested in training your cat, this is the wrong approach. If you are interested in fucking with your cat, this works. Cats are trainable. Positive reinforcement geared toward the animal works best. There are just two things you need besides: the animal must trust you and know that you will win in any dispute. A great way to undermine the trust part is to provide a repetitive source of anxiety in your home, whether you are perceived to be the cause or not. Basically, if you're looking for best practices in training your pet, you shouldn't trust any strategies that involve scaring the shit out of them when they do something wrong. And when I say "training" I don't mean balancing on a ball or riding a miniature tricycle, I'm just talking about simple things like stopping the cat from jumping on the kitchen counters.
If you don't want to put the time into training, or the cat is older and just doesn't respond to training, I still wouldn't advise this kind of thing. It would be much easier to simply make the plants inaccessible to the cat. Sure, this would probably be some bizarre jury-rigged install and it certainly wouldn't provide any internet buzz but it would be better for your cat.
posted by effwerd at 7:44 AM on June 5, 2009 [1 favorite]
If you don't want to put the time into training, or the cat is older and just doesn't respond to training, I still wouldn't advise this kind of thing. It would be much easier to simply make the plants inaccessible to the cat. Sure, this would probably be some bizarre jury-rigged install and it certainly wouldn't provide any internet buzz but it would be better for your cat.
posted by effwerd at 7:44 AM on June 5, 2009 [1 favorite]
Our cats would just unplug the blender, methinks.
posted by wittgenstein at 7:51 AM on June 5, 2009
posted by wittgenstein at 7:51 AM on June 5, 2009
Metafilter: has one joke. The ambush.
posted by R_Nebblesworth at 8:01 AM on June 5, 2009 [2 favorites]
posted by R_Nebblesworth at 8:01 AM on June 5, 2009 [2 favorites]
One of my golden retrievers is afraid of the ironing board. Mortal enemy.
posted by VicNebulous at 8:07 AM on June 5, 2009 [2 favorites]
posted by VicNebulous at 8:07 AM on June 5, 2009 [2 favorites]
I hate to admit that I've done this, but with a vacuum cleaner. Except it's a heckuva lot easier if you just use the motion detector that comes with the X10 kit. (But then there would be not as much to blog about, I s'pose)
posted by RobotVoodooPower at 8:15 AM on June 5, 2009
posted by RobotVoodooPower at 8:15 AM on June 5, 2009
Because the cat is so often on the kitchen counter at my house, grilled cheese sandwiches will sometimes end up on the floor.
posted by xod at 8:39 AM on June 5, 2009
posted by xod at 8:39 AM on June 5, 2009
Cruel? CRUEL???? Get over yourself.
This cat gets to live in a world where everything it sees is its own to play with... except for the magic Counter Top, guarded by the fierce Genie of Sound and Light. But there's something wonderful on the Counter Top, something not located anywhere else in the world. The cat knows this, and it'll do whatever it must to sneak past the Genie of Sound and Light. So far, all assaults have failed, but tomorrow is a new day, and something tells it to try again during the next power outage...
The cat will be fine.
posted by Number Used Once at 9:05 AM on June 5, 2009 [23 favorites]
This cat gets to live in a world where everything it sees is its own to play with... except for the magic Counter Top, guarded by the fierce Genie of Sound and Light. But there's something wonderful on the Counter Top, something not located anywhere else in the world. The cat knows this, and it'll do whatever it must to sneak past the Genie of Sound and Light. So far, all assaults have failed, but tomorrow is a new day, and something tells it to try again during the next power outage...
The cat will be fine.
posted by Number Used Once at 9:05 AM on June 5, 2009 [23 favorites]
The cat will be fine.
I agree. I'm more concerned about the owner.
posted by applemeat at 9:21 AM on June 5, 2009
I agree. I'm more concerned about the owner.
posted by applemeat at 9:21 AM on June 5, 2009
Our cats would just unplug the blender, methinks.
I had a cat once who, if presented with this, would have found a way to get the plant INTO the blender.
posted by Night_owl at 9:24 AM on June 5, 2009 [1 favorite]
I had a cat once who, if presented with this, would have found a way to get the plant INTO the blender.
posted by Night_owl at 9:24 AM on June 5, 2009 [1 favorite]
I don't know if the cat would figure out unplugging the blender, but I do know that our ferrets have figured out how to unplug various electronic devices from the power strip. Said power strip being in the most difficult spot in the room to reach for normal humans.
posted by Fezboy! at 9:47 AM on June 5, 2009 [1 favorite]
posted by Fezboy! at 9:47 AM on June 5, 2009 [1 favorite]
Wow, based on the comments in this thread, you all have a bunch of conniving devil cats. I am going to go home and hug my good-hearted, lovable feline buddy.
posted by amro at 9:55 AM on June 5, 2009 [1 favorite]
posted by amro at 9:55 AM on June 5, 2009 [1 favorite]
I've got a naughty Siamese cat who I've caught hanging off the side of the 5 foot high bird cage that holds our parakeets and finches, the cage that I specifically had to harden against cat assault, and for the sake of the bird's sanity, I might do something similar to this.
My only problem is that a blender going off would undoubtedly terrify the birds just as much as the cat. Maybe I need to come up with some kind of motion activated spray bottle or something.
The problem is that scaring our cats is a roll of the dice; I can hide behind a door, silently waiting to jump out and surprise a kitty only to have it look at me like "WTF do you think you're doing meatbag?" or I can be sitting in bed watching TV, unthinkingly wiggle my toe and send a cat into a ceiling denting leap of terror.
My guess is that it's all part of their master plan to fuck with me.
posted by quin at 9:58 AM on June 5, 2009 [7 favorites]
My only problem is that a blender going off would undoubtedly terrify the birds just as much as the cat. Maybe I need to come up with some kind of motion activated spray bottle or something.
The problem is that scaring our cats is a roll of the dice; I can hide behind a door, silently waiting to jump out and surprise a kitty only to have it look at me like "WTF do you think you're doing meatbag?" or I can be sitting in bed watching TV, unthinkingly wiggle my toe and send a cat into a ceiling denting leap of terror.
My guess is that it's all part of their master plan to fuck with me.
posted by quin at 9:58 AM on June 5, 2009 [7 favorites]
I'd move the plant.
FULL DISCLOSURE: There is a cat, sound asleep, on my kitchen counter right now.
posted by BitterOldPunk at 10:53 AM on June 5, 2009 [2 favorites]
FULL DISCLOSURE: There is a cat, sound asleep, on my kitchen counter right now.
posted by BitterOldPunk at 10:53 AM on June 5, 2009 [2 favorites]
Positive reinforcement geared toward the animal works best.
This is true. For instance, if you give your cat a treat every time he isn't jumping on the counter, then eventually he stops jumping on the counter, because he becomes way too fat.
posted by roystgnr at 10:55 AM on June 5, 2009 [24 favorites]
This is true. For instance, if you give your cat a treat every time he isn't jumping on the counter, then eventually he stops jumping on the counter, because he becomes way too fat.
posted by roystgnr at 10:55 AM on June 5, 2009 [24 favorites]
If you are interested in training your cat, this is the wrong approach. If you are interested in fucking with your cat, this works. Cats are trainable. Positive reinforcement geared toward the animal works best. There are just two things you need besides: the animal must trust you and know that you will win in any dispute.
That approach has worked great for us and our 5 cats... when we're actually in the house. I've found, however, that positive (or negative, for that matter) people-centric training only functions in our house when people are actual in situ. As soon as we're not home, they do whatever it is they aren't supposed to be doing. Training that involves deus ex machina stimulus in response to behaviors works much more effectively because the cause-effect isn't tied to our presence.
posted by Never teh Bride at 11:47 AM on June 5, 2009
That approach has worked great for us and our 5 cats... when we're actually in the house. I've found, however, that positive (or negative, for that matter) people-centric training only functions in our house when people are actual in situ. As soon as we're not home, they do whatever it is they aren't supposed to be doing. Training that involves deus ex machina stimulus in response to behaviors works much more effectively because the cause-effect isn't tied to our presence.
posted by Never teh Bride at 11:47 AM on June 5, 2009
actual-->actually
posted by Never teh Bride at 11:47 AM on June 5, 2009
posted by Never teh Bride at 11:47 AM on June 5, 2009
I have cats and love them, but this is hilarious.
....motion activated spray bottle or something.
My in-laws have something like that for keeping deer out of the yard...motion-activated water sprayer. But I suppose that's just as bad as shooting those poor, innocent, veggie-craving deer!
I don't get the anger either. We have two cats, one is a total asshole to anyone (or anything) but my husband, and the other is sweet but rather dim. Neither is trainable, and seeing Asshole Cat get her comeuppance would be some comedy gold, right there. I'd feel worse about Dim Cat, but then he'd forget about it within an hour, so no trauma.
posted by emjaybee at 12:19 PM on June 5, 2009
....motion activated spray bottle or something.
My in-laws have something like that for keeping deer out of the yard...motion-activated water sprayer. But I suppose that's just as bad as shooting those poor, innocent, veggie-craving deer!
I don't get the anger either. We have two cats, one is a total asshole to anyone (or anything) but my husband, and the other is sweet but rather dim. Neither is trainable, and seeing Asshole Cat get her comeuppance would be some comedy gold, right there. I'd feel worse about Dim Cat, but then he'd forget about it within an hour, so no trauma.
posted by emjaybee at 12:19 PM on June 5, 2009
I have a cat who is currently asleep on the pilot light of my stove.
The solution? Get an electric stove.
posted by grapefruitmoon at 1:19 PM on June 5, 2009
The solution? Get an electric stove.
posted by grapefruitmoon at 1:19 PM on June 5, 2009
A great way to undermine the trust part is to provide a repetitive source of anxiety in your home, whether you are perceived to be the cause or not.
Animals get anxious at unpredictable or uncontrollable negative stimuli (random electric shocks etc.). This is a "source of anxiety" which the cat can learn (and, presumably, did learn) never to encounter. I would say that it's anxiety is, if anything, reduced compared to most cats who live in worlds in which jumping on the counter is perfectly find 90% of the time that they're in the house, but suddenly becomes a cause of owner-person shouting "no, no get down" when there happens to be something on the counter that owner-person wishes to protect.
posted by yoink at 1:21 PM on June 5, 2009
Animals get anxious at unpredictable or uncontrollable negative stimuli (random electric shocks etc.). This is a "source of anxiety" which the cat can learn (and, presumably, did learn) never to encounter. I would say that it's anxiety is, if anything, reduced compared to most cats who live in worlds in which jumping on the counter is perfectly find 90% of the time that they're in the house, but suddenly becomes a cause of owner-person shouting "no, no get down" when there happens to be something on the counter that owner-person wishes to protect.
posted by yoink at 1:21 PM on June 5, 2009
Laughed till I wept. Thanks for that on this rainy Friday afternoon.
posted by nickyskye at 1:40 PM on June 5, 2009
posted by nickyskye at 1:40 PM on June 5, 2009
If you are interested in training your cat, this is the wrong approach. If you are interested in fucking with your cat, this works. Cats are trainable. Positive reinforcement geared toward the animal works best.
I think that you don't know what you are talking about. If you have a better method for training a cat to keep off the counter, please share it. The philosophy you describe works wonderfully when the owner is present, but become a lot less reliable past that point.
posted by -harlequin- at 2:50 PM on June 5, 2009
I think that you don't know what you are talking about. If you have a better method for training a cat to keep off the counter, please share it. The philosophy you describe works wonderfully when the owner is present, but become a lot less reliable past that point.
posted by -harlequin- at 2:50 PM on June 5, 2009
I just always gave my kitties medicine on the counter. They quickly associated counter=BADNESS.
posted by lysdexic at 2:53 PM on June 5, 2009 [3 favorites]
posted by lysdexic at 2:53 PM on June 5, 2009 [3 favorites]
How is it possible that no one has taken grouse's suggestion and mashed this with Keyboard Cat?
How!?!
posted by william_boot at 5:07 PM on June 5, 2009
How!?!
posted by william_boot at 5:07 PM on June 5, 2009
I love cats. Adore them. But I'm allergic - so sad. My favorite one is the last one where the cat is walking up like "yeah mofo, I'm a bad ass pimp strollin the boulev-HOLYSHITSHITWHATTHEHELLSAVEYOURSELVESI'MDEADALREADYYYY?!!"
posted by furious at 5:13 PM on June 5, 2009 [2 favorites]
posted by furious at 5:13 PM on June 5, 2009 [2 favorites]
Then, of course, there's the Twirl-a-Squirrel.
And, well... the Squirrelapult.
posted by Civil_Disobedient at 6:09 PM on June 5, 2009
And, well... the Squirrelapult.
posted by Civil_Disobedient at 6:09 PM on June 5, 2009
Well, I'm certainly no cat trainer. (Neither is my mother.) You got me there. But I've had good results with my cat. Part of the training for behavior when I'm not present was to present a temptation on the counter and tell my cat to stay (on the ground) while I blocked him. This took a few of days, two times a day, about 15 to 30 minutes at a time. The next phase was to stand away from the temptation and get him to stay. This took another few weekends. The next phase was to get him to stay while I was out of the room, increasing the time unsupervised with each session. This took a few months of weekends. His bell collar would tell me when he would disobey, which I'd respond to immediately with the command to get down as I returned to the room. The next phase was leaving the apartment. I'd stand on my patio and listen for the bell collar and respond when necessary. I kept the times unsupervised random for this phase, some short, some long. This took a few more months and a lot more sessions but this was just to be sure. After a while, the cat would just leave the kitchen after the first few times, which was rewarded. Then it was on to leaving the apartment completely. The times unsupervised were random again. I felt pretty confident after a few weeks. I had no surveillance to know if it worked all the time but I don't have any cabinets left open or small items that used to be on the counter now on the floor like before. This was over four years ago.
For the past eight months, I've been working on suppressing his urge to fight dogs when we're out on our walks. It's been more difficult, mainly because we encounter dogs randomly, but I'm making a lot of progress. I've got it to where he no longer enters battle mode immediately and no longer chases the dogs if they run away. When unsupervised, he behaves perfectly if he sees a dog when he's perched somewhere, but still goes off if he's in a particularly vulnerable spot like in an open field. I also had to train him to not go in the street or the parking lot when he's out walking. He won't even chase birds or other cats if they go into the street. He doesn't get much unsupervised time outside these days, but back when he did, I would occasionally find him hanging out with other cats in the street or under a car but he would be right on the edge of the sidewalk, and I've never found him someplace he shouldn't be.
I've had him since he was a kitten, so that certainly helps, but I didn't start training him on anything for the first couple of years. I'm sure some cats just won't be responsive to training and a smaller subset of trainable cats will retain training while unsupervised, but trying to train your cat would still be better than rigging up this kind of scare device. If the rig had been something less cruel, I probably would have hedged my original comment much more.
posted by effwerd at 6:18 PM on June 5, 2009 [1 favorite]
For the past eight months, I've been working on suppressing his urge to fight dogs when we're out on our walks. It's been more difficult, mainly because we encounter dogs randomly, but I'm making a lot of progress. I've got it to where he no longer enters battle mode immediately and no longer chases the dogs if they run away. When unsupervised, he behaves perfectly if he sees a dog when he's perched somewhere, but still goes off if he's in a particularly vulnerable spot like in an open field. I also had to train him to not go in the street or the parking lot when he's out walking. He won't even chase birds or other cats if they go into the street. He doesn't get much unsupervised time outside these days, but back when he did, I would occasionally find him hanging out with other cats in the street or under a car but he would be right on the edge of the sidewalk, and I've never found him someplace he shouldn't be.
I've had him since he was a kitten, so that certainly helps, but I didn't start training him on anything for the first couple of years. I'm sure some cats just won't be responsive to training and a smaller subset of trainable cats will retain training while unsupervised, but trying to train your cat would still be better than rigging up this kind of scare device. If the rig had been something less cruel, I probably would have hedged my original comment much more.
posted by effwerd at 6:18 PM on June 5, 2009 [1 favorite]
People who are giving simpler suggestions are missing the point. This is an excuse for overengineering. Some people just love this sort of thing, and come up with these kind of solutions where a normal person would just move the plant. If it hadn't been this, some other project would have replaced it. Look at the amount of trouble he went to building a BUTTON (the party project).
posted by wildcrdj at 7:20 PM on June 5, 2009 [2 favorites]
posted by wildcrdj at 7:20 PM on June 5, 2009 [2 favorites]
Because the cat is so often on the kitchen counter at my house, grilled cheese sandwiches will sometimes end up on the floor.
That's okay, as long as you don't eat grilled cheese sandwiches made by the cat.
Because, you know, that's just wrong.
posted by WalterMitty at 8:45 PM on June 5, 2009 [1 favorite]
That's okay, as long as you don't eat grilled cheese sandwiches made by the cat.
Because, you know, that's just wrong.
posted by WalterMitty at 8:45 PM on June 5, 2009 [1 favorite]
The plant is important? Come on, the plant is an incidental $5 houseplant from Lowe's that provides an excuse to try and earn tech geek points with a automated web-cam cat-scare rig. No one really gives a damn about the stupid plant.
Fascinating POV, aught. Dead wrong, but fascinating. I have had several plants - trees raised from seed, for instance - that were valuable to me, despite "costing" even less than the $5 you posited.
Oh, and Houyhnhnm...
Even as an invention this is ludicrous. What about at night, when he's asleep? Who can sleep with a blender going off every 10 minutes?
If the cat triggers this event every 10 minutes, either (1) the event is entertaining to the cat, or (2) the cat has the feline equivalent of alzheimer's.
Smart money says the cat will trigger this alarm twice, three times tops, in its entire life.
posted by IAmBroom at 12:49 AM on June 8, 2009
Fascinating POV, aught. Dead wrong, but fascinating. I have had several plants - trees raised from seed, for instance - that were valuable to me, despite "costing" even less than the $5 you posited.
Oh, and Houyhnhnm...
Even as an invention this is ludicrous. What about at night, when he's asleep? Who can sleep with a blender going off every 10 minutes?
If the cat triggers this event every 10 minutes, either (1) the event is entertaining to the cat, or (2) the cat has the feline equivalent of alzheimer's.
Smart money says the cat will trigger this alarm twice, three times tops, in its entire life.
posted by IAmBroom at 12:49 AM on June 8, 2009
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